When is "being polite" just too much?

So, what, saying "thank you," "you're welcome," or "nice job" is basically just kissing ass now? 🤣

Ethan Mendoza4 said:Honestly, I've lost the plot here.

The OP used this super vague term "excessive politeness," and now everyone's just interpreting it however they want—we're totally talking past each other even if we actually agree on the core idea.

But hey, aren't we still sticking to the topic? I don't see the issue here.

Jose Carter2 said:So, what, saying "thank you," "you're welcome," or "nice job" is basically just kissing ass now? 🤣

No. That’s simply the standard protocol around here. We are talking about a state of constant, unrelenting—and frankly, quite exhausting—politeness.

How much someone sucks up depends entirely on their social standing.

If Todd walks into the room, he’ll flash you a grin, give you a compliment, be perfectly polite... and suddenly everyone is talking about how he’s the most cultured guy on the planet, so humble, just the absolute best.

But if a waiter approaches you with that same attitude? People just assume he’s sucking up to get a bigger tip.🤣

Jose Carter2 said:So, what, saying "thank you," "you're welcome," or "nice job" is basically just kissing ass now? 🤣

That fake, rehearsed "entrepreneur" smile? Oh, absolutely. It’s such a giveaway, isn't it?

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the waiter I'm going to interact with for sixty seconds—that’s just part of the service. What actually gets under my skin are the people I actually know, who act like that way incessantly.

bluewolf23 said:Honestly, I couldn't care less about the waiter I'm going to interact with for sixty seconds—that’s just part of the service. What actually gets under my skin are the people I actually know, who act like that way incessantly.

Plus, they always seem so shocked when nobody responds to them.

I’ve always had a soft spot for servers who are actually friendly and smiling. It’s pretty much in the job description, right? It just makes grabbing a coffee at a local Starbucks so much more pleasant when the person behind the counter isn't acting like they're doing you a massive favor.

I can't stand people who put on this fake, polished persona the moment we meet, just because they're desperate to win me over.

My favorite kind of person is someone "normal"—someone who just acts like they couldn't care less about performing or trying to impress me. They aren't out here hunting for approval; they just exist as they are. Take them or leave them. That's it.

Where does everyone actually land on the social ladder—those people who just won't stop being overly polite and end up getting on your nerves?

Carl Rivera43 said:I am totally on board with this.

I'd say there's a huge group of high-ranking executives out there who are better actors than most of the stars in Hollywood.

Carl Rivera43 said:That fake, rehearsed "entrepreneur" smile? Oh, absolutely. It’s such a giveaway, isn't it?

It sounds like those CEOs and big shots are really getting under your skin—you see them as the definition of hypocritical politeness.

Then you wonder why hard work alone doesn't get you into those seats.

If you could actually reach that level just through grit and grind, why would they all need to put on such a phony act?

And why is it that the ones who can't play the hypocrisy game usually end up working *for* them?

With these types of entrepreneurs and execs, that fake kindness is just one symptom of the personality they had to build just to survive long enough to get the job.

Ethan Mendoza4 said:It sounds like those CEOs and big shots are really getting under your skin—you see them as the definition of hypocritical politeness.

Then you wonder why hard work alone doesn't get you into those seats.

If you could actually reach that level just through grit and grind, why would they all need to put on such a phony act?

And why is it that the ones who can't play the hypocrisy game usually end up working *for* them?

With these types of entrepreneurs and execs, that fake kindness is just one symptom of the personality they had to build just to survive long enough to get the job.

I’m not saying everyone is like that, but when it comes to a certain percentage? Yeah, you're spot on.

Because of people like this, so many talented folks don't even get a shot at an interview, let alone a trial run.

Unfortunately, that's just how things play out in the American business world, though it really shouldn't be this way.

We live in a country facing some pretty deep systemic issues, and changing that isn't going to happen overnight.

The habits of these people—only looking out for their own family and blocking everyone else from getting a fair shake—are honestly pathetic.

Carl Rivera43 said:I’m not saying everyone is like that, but when it comes to a certain percentage? Yeah, you're spot on.

Because of people like this, so many talented folks don't even get a shot at an interview, let alone a trial run.

Unfortunately, that's just how things play out in the American business world, though it really shouldn't be this way.

We live in a country facing some pretty deep systemic issues, and changing that isn't going to happen overnight.

The habits of these people—only looking out for their own family and blocking everyone else from getting a fair shake—are honestly pathetic.

It’s not all about who you know. Sure, you might land some dead-end desk job through a connection. But when it comes to a role where you actually have to produce results, an entrepreneur is gonna hire someone who brings in profit—not just some cousin's kid.

Ethan Mendoza4 said:It’s not all about who you know. Sure, you might land some dead-end desk job through a connection. But when it comes to a role where you actually have to produce results, an entrepreneur is gonna hire someone who brings in profit—not just some cousin's kid.

That almost never happens around here.

Carl Rivera43 said:That almost never happens around here.

Yeah, right. Total cliché.

It’s not "rare"—you just usually need more connections.

Would you really blow through thousands of dollars every single day just because some cousin's kid works for you? Or would you just kick him to the curb and hire someone who actually brings money to the table?

Unless we're talking about a government agency, obviously. Out there, nobody actually cares what you know.

Favoritism is everywhere you look. ☕

At its core, an entrepreneur exists to solve problems for society. We’re social creatures, after all... it's just how we're wired.

In a free market, if someone decides they'd rather hire a person they actually like instead of a highly skilled professional who's a bit difficult to deal with, that's their prerogative. They're free to make that choice.

Entrepreneurs can certainly be arrogant... but usually only when they possess those truly rare skills that the public is desperate for, or once they've successfully climbed their way through the right social circles.

Ethan Mendoza4 said:Yeah, right. Total cliché.

It’s not "rare"—you just usually need more connections.

Would you really blow through thousands of dollars every single day just because some cousin's kid works for you? Or would you just kick him to the curb and hire someone who actually brings money to the table?

Unless we're talking about a government agency, obviously. Out there, nobody actually cares what you know.

I’m not buying your story for a second.

I mean, I've talked to about thirty different people about this exact stuff, and they all say the same thing.

Jose Carter2 said:Favoritism is everywhere you look. ☕

At its core, an entrepreneur exists to solve problems for society. We’re social creatures, after all... it's just how we're wired.

In a free market, if someone decides they'd rather hire a person they actually like instead of a highly skilled professional who's a bit difficult to deal with, that's their prerogative. They're free to make that choice.

Entrepreneurs can certainly be arrogant... but usually only when they possess those truly rare skills that the public is desperate for, or once they've successfully climbed their way through the right social circles.

I'm with you on that.

Carl Rivera43 said:I’m not buying your story for a second.

I mean, I've talked to about thirty different people about this exact stuff, and they all say the same thing.

I'd jump into the debate myself, but I'm not looking to get downvoted into oblivion.

I guess I just kept running into those kinds of entrepreneurs too often. I really hope there are some out there who aren't so full of themselves, but based on my own experience—and honestly, all the stories I've heard—that seems to be a tiny minority.

redbear2 said:I’ve always had a soft spot for servers who are actually friendly and smiling. It’s pretty much in the job description, right? It just makes grabbing a coffee at a local Starbucks so much more pleasant when the person behind the counter isn't acting like they're doing you a massive favor.

I can't stand people who put on this fake, polished persona the moment we meet, just because they're desperate to win me over.

My favorite kind of person is someone "normal"—someone who just acts like they couldn't care less about performing or trying to impress me. They aren't out here hunting for approval; they just exist as they are. Take them or leave them. That's it.

Exactly this.
Draža is one of those people who gets awkward and runs out of things to say because they feel this constant pressure to entertain everyone or be the center of attention—unless it actually comes naturally to them, which is pretty obvious when it does.
When you really get to know someone, you start noticing how some people wear a mask during conversation. Their tone shifts, they put way too much energy into being "on," or they hold back their true opinions because they know what you'd think if they were being their actual selves.
Honestly, I'd much rather deal with someone who's a bit grumpy and unbothered than someone performing a compressed version of themselves, just waiting for the chance to snap at you once they've exhausted their social battery...

Just because one person took a swing at you doesn't mean everyone else is out to get you.

Look, being kind—actually being decent—is just how you communicate when you're working in service industries where you're dealing with people all day. If someone hates that kind of attitude, honestly? That’s their own baggage to deal with. This whole trend of people getting all aggressive and short-tempered in customer service... it's like a cancer, really. It just drags everyone else down into that negative hole with them, even the folks who thought they had a handle on things.

I'm really feeling what Paper is saying here.