School closures/delays?

I guess most kids are just naturally rambunctious when they're six or seven. That was definitely me back then. In my class, we used to tease this one girl who had special needs. Honestly, looking back, I don't think she even belonged in a mainstream classroom because her intellectual disability was quite significant. Nowadays, she’d probably have a dedicated aide, but from 1984 to 1992, I don't think those assistants even existed. The way they handled it was just having her sit next to a kind student who wouldn't pick on her and would help her follow along with the lessons. The rest of us ended up getting a formal reprimand in our report cards for our behavior toward her, and our parents had to sign off on it to acknowledge they'd seen the note. She wasn't even older than us—if I remember right, she was born around February 1978, so maybe she was actually one of the younger ones. It makes me think that back in my day, they didn't really do school deferrals at all, maybe because everything was graded descriptively until fourth grade. Personally, I think that was better than how things are now, where kids are already being graded by the second semester of first grade.

What would you even say if you moved to England? Over there, children start school during the calendar year they turn four. It might feel more like preschool, but I believe it's mandatory, perhaps even more strictly enforced than here in the States. Just imagine moving there and your seven-year-old hasn't even stepped foot in an elementary school yet. I'm pretty sure social services would be knocking on your door. And honestly, I suspect the school gave you that deferral just because they didn't want the headache of fighting you, especially since you were so adamant about your son not starting. You didn't mention whether he actually wanted to go, or if he was excited about starting school and picking out his first backpack. I mean, a kid that age probably knows that once preschool ends, school begins—and now you're essentially sending him back to daycare.

Regarding the bullying... yeah, that happened back in my freshman year of high school. There was this one girl—honestly, she was the top student in our class, totally brilliant, and didn't have any health issues, she just walked a little differently. I was actually good friends with her, but I... I didn't tell her that the other girls were making fun of her behind her back. I guess I didn't realize how much it would hurt. Eventually, she found out, and by the end of sophomore year, she transferred to a different track at school. I really think the bullying played a part in that. She’s doing incredibly well today, though. A very successful person now.

So, we have this perfectly healthy, energetic kid who’s turning seven this fall. Even though they already finished preschool, Mom is deciding to enroll them in daycare one more year (both the standard daycare and the pre-K track). On top of that, she’s planning to spend the next twelve months doing intensive home tutoring—reading drills, writing exercises, the whole bit—all because she’s personally feeling anxious and frustrated about school based on her own difficult experiences.

It never even crossed her mind that maybe, just maybe, the child would breeze through the first-grade curriculum without any issues at all. There’s a real risk that by over-preparing, the kid will show up to school so bored that they might start acting out or getting into trouble 😁, depending on their temperament. Plus, isn't she inadvertently sending the message that school is some sort of dreaded obstacle rather than an adventure? Imagine being in preschool, seeing all your buddies buzzing with excitement about starting "big kid school," while you’re stuck sitting at home for another year for no apparent reason.

Look, objectively speaking—and I’m certainly no cheerleader for our public education system—most kids are more than capable of handling the first-grade workload. They go in happy, curious, and ready to learn, even in those schools people tend to complain about. A lot of what this mother is describing feels like proof that parents don't always know what’s truly best for their children, and that the government really needs to step up and provide better support systems. But knowing how things work with organizations like USA Swimming, I doubt there’s any actual protection for a child's rights; it usually just ends up being more senseless paperwork.

I think it’s pretty obvious at this point—if you look back from the fourth post onward (you know, once we started drifting into those old stories about the former regime and all that nonsense about experts and doctors ditching their professional attire)—that Mom is clearly having some issues, which explains why she's bringing up USA Swimming. Honestly.

I’m definitely on board with that.

USA Swimming isn't blaming anyone's laundry pile or some judge—it’s just pure bureaucracy! But hey, good luck getting anyone to actually listen to that.

In England, kids start preschool at age 3 wearing uniforms, and the whole setup is totally different than how we do things here.

Anyway, I didn't get called in because they were out to get me; it was just the standard procedure. I went in today, gave a two-sentence statement, and signed the damn thing. The lady handling it was an older woman with 35 years on the job—super understanding. She actually agrees that delaying first grade enrollment is a good call because she thinks the system is a total wreck. Her words, not mine.

So basically, our official statement was: we were all there (even though they only summoned me), she met my little guy, and as parents, we collectively decided to defer his first-grade start date. Name, DOB, year, and a perfectly healthy kid, backed by a committee recommendation to delay school.

That’s the whole story.

Go ahead, keep on hating if you want...🙂

With USA Swimming, you basically just sign a statement saying the kid doesn't have any disabilities or special needs. That's it.

The lady there walked me through the whole thing—first over the phone, then in person today. It’s just standard procedure ordered by the Department and handled by the CDC.

I wasn't the only one, either. There were a bunch of us there today getting hit with school enrollment delays, all having to sign the exact same statements unless someone actually had official paperwork proving their kid had specific needs. If they did, USA Swimming helps them get their benefits sorted through Medicare and stuff...
But since everyone brought their kids, the little ones were just running around outside while we stood in line signing papers. We were all seeing the same lady.

So yeah, even USA Swimming backs these calls, which makes your opinions pretty much irrelevant. The lady told me straight up: there's no appealing these decisions or even offering an opinion.

It’s just a process where they let parents or guardians know what kind of financial or professional help they’re entitled to and how to actually get it, with USA Swimming helping out.

Well, that sounds great

There you go—info for anyone who might need to ask for an extension down the road.

The thing is, you guys couldn't have provided this because you don't actually know how the US Olympic & Paralympic Committee handles their procedures. You’re all just guessing. You haven't been through it, yet you sure love to ramble on about stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with my situation or anyone else's.

And yeah, the rulebook says the US Olympic & Paralympic Committee "intervenes" if a kid has disabilities or special needs, but even she admitted her job goes way beyond what's just written in the manual. Besides, everything we went through today was the same for everyone; we all got the same notice and gave the same statements.

Btw. Freddie Mercury I don't work some 7-to-3 grind or whatever weird shift schedule you've cooked up in your head. My hours depend entirely on whatever time zone they assign me. I don't get standard American PTO, fancy vacation adjustments, or those long holiday weekends. I work from home and travel abroad constantly. And for the record, I pay my dues to the US out of my own pocket, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be allowed to work.

Anyway, enough of that. 🙂 It's summer, let's just go hit the beach and swim until we drop.

I honestly have no clue how all those specialists managed to sign off on this.
A close friend of mine has a kid with really obvious developmental delays, and before the school doctor even laid eyes on the child, her first response was basically, "We don't just hand out deferrals easily, and I rarely grant them."
I mean, fine—once she actually saw the medical reports and met the kid, she approved it, but we all know you don't just get those things handed over just because a parent asks.
I'm lost.

See, there’s the difference.

Our own doctor actually told us we should ask for a deferral. And she sees my little guy all the time—not because he’s sick, just because we live in a small town. She knows him, she knows he's totally fine. Even his preschool backed our simple request to hold off, and the school district was on the same page. We didn't have to harass anyone, play favorites, threaten people, or grease any palms. The principal himself even told me we did the right thing by asking for more time. I've known the guy since I was a kid; he's an easygoing, open guy who admitted the whole school system is basically a chaotic mess right now.

Around here, everyone treats this like it's perfectly normal. Even NASA supports deferrals, so honestly, it just comes down to how people handle it. Some get it, some don't. Guess it depends on the doctor or whatever.

And I'll say it again: my kid will be exactly 7 years and 10 months when he starts school. There's another kid starting at 8.5 years old who is just as healthy and well-adjusted. And nobody is making a scene about it or saying he'll fall behind or get bored in preschool, or that he won't be with kids his age. Seriously, nobody. Does that even make sense to you guys? Instead, they're actually supportive.

Richard Perez3 said:I honestly have no clue how all those specialists managed to sign off on this.
A close friend of mine has a kid with really obvious developmental delays, and before the school doctor even laid eyes on the child, her first response was basically, "We don't just hand out deferrals easily, and I rarely grant them."
I mean, fine—once she actually saw the medical reports and met the kid, she approved it, but we all know you don't just get those things handed over just because a parent asks.
I'm lost.

It makes zero sense to me either, and frankly, it’s pretty terrible. Obviously, there’s a massive difference between cities, but I still can't wrap my head around why they treat postponements so flippantly.

Lady, look, I'm not trying to lecture you here, and I think I have a pretty solid grasp on the actual procedure for how these extensions get approved—or at least how they *should* work in a place like yours.
The fact that where you live, these delays are handed out like candy and everyone just accepts it... well, that doesn't have anything to do with common sense or actual expertise. It’s not even about you personally; it seems more like a systemic failure within the whole local government setup over there. I’d really love to see what an inspector would have to say if they actually sat down to audit the work these "experts" are doing.

If you get it, you get it—the final say always rests with some government-appointed expert board. They’re the ones pulling the trigger on the "yes" or "no."

I guess the inspectors are doing their thing, but honestly, I have no clue. Hard to say.

Kid’s got another year of preschool left, then he’s off to elementary school by next fall. And that’s basically it.

Andrew Wright2 said:See, there’s the difference.

Our own doctor actually told us we should ask for a deferral. And she sees my little guy all the time—not because he’s sick, just because we live in a small town. She knows him, she knows he's totally fine. Even his preschool backed our simple request to hold off, and the school district was on the same page. We didn't have to harass anyone, play favorites, threaten people, or grease any palms. The principal himself even told me we did the right thing by asking for more time. I've known the guy since I was a kid; he's an easygoing, open guy who admitted the whole school system is basically a chaotic mess right now.

Around here, everyone treats this like it's perfectly normal. Even NASA supports deferrals, so honestly, it just comes down to how people handle it. Some get it, some don't. Guess it depends on the doctor or whatever.

And I'll say it again: my kid will be exactly 7 years and 10 months when he starts school. There's another kid starting at 8.5 years old who is just as healthy and well-adjusted. And nobody is making a scene about it or saying he'll fall behind or get bored in preschool, or that he won't be with kids his age. Seriously, nobody. Does that even make sense to you guys? Instead, they're actually supportive.

You can sit here and try to sugarcoat everything, acting like NASA is some magical wonderland filled with unicorns and rainbows, but it’s absolutely not the truth that every single deferral ends up there, or that they only issue disability statements, or that NASA is genuinely out to support these delays—please, don't try to blatantly mislead the rest of us on this forum.😉
The reason you were all summoned (including you and everyone who showed up today) isn't something we can be certain about, though we can certainly speculate; however, having spent a long time working within the American education system, I feel I have a pretty good idea of why this is happening.☕

And great, so you get your deferral, which is exactly what I anticipated would happen.
But just remember, now that you're officially part of their system, don't go thinking it's some wonderful, flawless setup that everyone should be lining up for.
I'll be able to keep an eye on things if, or when, the need arises.

Regardless of the underlying reasons, and setting aside the fact that our American education system is frankly subpar, I find it absolutely inconceivable to see eight or even eight-and-a-half-year-olds sitting in a first-grade classroom...
If there are only a handful of them in an otherwise standard class, it’s going to create such a massive developmental gap, and God knows how that's going to manifest itself in the classroom dynamic...

Andrew Wright2 said:If you get it, you get it—the final say always rests with some government-appointed expert board. They’re the ones pulling the trigger on the "yes" or "no."

I guess the inspectors are doing their thing, but honestly, I have no clue. Hard to say.

Kid’s got another year of preschool left, then he’s off to elementary school by next fall. And that’s basically it.

Yeah, it's usually some city or county board, depending on where you live. But just because they hold those positions doesn't necessarily mean they're actually doing a good job, even if the highest powers in the land put them there. 😉

I can tell you for sure regarding New York City that you don't just get postponements handed out like candy, so that whole thing about signing stuff with the social services office isn't really common practice like it might be in your neck of the woods, and it's definitely not always part of the standard procedure here.

Nah, they aren't long or anything at the welfare office. It’s just a woman who admitted herself she’s struggling within the system. We aren't being watched by the state or whatever, we're just dealing with a kid starting school in the fall.

I was actually watching one social worker while I was waiting there—just chilling at her desk. She’s snapping selfies and scrolling Facebook on the clock. Meanwhile, I’m stuck outside just staring into her office.

We aren't special cases if that's what you're worried about.

Verdan nailed it regarding their job.

And look, I can't comment on how things work in NYC. I don't know.

I'm just saying how we were treated during the whole process.

Since we're arguing over whether people follow protocol or not... let me ask you this: if you were in NYC and your kid had a cold that kept getting worse, would you want five different doctors checking them out? Would you want them sent for an X-ray just to make sure it wasn't pneumonia?

100% yes. But that’s not how they do it at Santa Monica. They wait until everything is hitting the fan before they even think about an X-ray. We ended up in the ER twice only to be brushed off with "it's just a virus." Then my kid hits a 104 fever that won't break, starts shaking, can't breathe, but bloodwork looks fine. They keep him for six days on two antibiotics, then send him home with a third one they didn't even bother using to treat him. Twelve hours later, it's back to square one—shaking, fever, struggling to breathe. Back to the doctor, gets a fourth antibiotic (the one they used in the hospital), and finally, the symptoms recede. Then the kid wakes up covered in a rash from head to waist like he rolled through poison ivy. Run back to the doctor for shots and pills, swap to a fifth antibiotic, and *finally* the illness clears. They have no clue which med caused the reaction—they're just guessing or maybe it's just too many drugs. His white cell count tanked so hard he had zero immunity; went in at 9, left at 2. All because of those antibiotics being slammed into him in ten days. He was stuck in quarantine for a month and a half. No going out. Everything seems okay for now, but I lost 15 pounds just from the stress.

After all that, the little one caught bad bronchitis and I ended up with pneumonia and a 106 fever.

Andrew Wright2 said:Nah, they aren't long or anything at the welfare office. It’s just a woman who admitted herself she’s struggling within the system. We aren't being watched by the state or whatever, we're just dealing with a kid starting school in the fall.

I was actually watching one social worker while I was waiting there—just chilling at her desk. She’s snapping selfies and scrolling Facebook on the clock. Meanwhile, I’m stuck outside just staring into her office.

We aren't special cases if that's what you're worried about.

Verdan nailed it regarding their job.

And look, I can't comment on how things work in NYC. I don't know.

I'm just saying how we were treated during the whole process.

Since we're arguing over whether people follow protocol or not... let me ask you this: if you were in NYC and your kid had a cold that kept getting worse, would you want five different doctors checking them out? Would you want them sent for an X-ray just to make sure it wasn't pneumonia?

100% yes. But that’s not how they do it at Santa Monica. They wait until everything is hitting the fan before they even think about an X-ray. We ended up in the ER twice only to be brushed off with "it's just a virus." Then my kid hits a 104 fever that won't break, starts shaking, can't breathe, but bloodwork looks fine. They keep him for six days on two antibiotics, then send him home with a third one they didn't even bother using to treat him. Twelve hours later, it's back to square one—shaking, fever, struggling to breathe. Back to the doctor, gets a fourth antibiotic (the one they used in the hospital), and finally, the symptoms recede. Then the kid wakes up covered in a rash from head to waist like he rolled through poison ivy. Run back to the doctor for shots and pills, swap to a fifth antibiotic, and *finally* the illness clears. They have no clue which med caused the reaction—they're just guessing or maybe it's just too many drugs. His white cell count tanked so hard he had zero immunity; went in at 9, left at 2. All because of those antibiotics being slammed into him in ten days. He was stuck in quarantine for a month and a half. No going out. Everything seems okay for now, but I lost 15 pounds just from the stress.

After all that, the little one caught bad bronchitis and I ended up with pneumonia and a 106 fever.

I mean, I guess we shouldn't really be surprised that things are messy when people like her are basically everywhere in the system. 🙄 She’s part of what makes the whole thing work, or fail, you know? And honestly, looking at how she handles her business, she might actually be one of the reasons why everything feels a bit more broken than it should be.

I suppose one could call her a lady of leisure, though I suspect that’s a bit of an overstatement, if you ask me. It feels like such a loaded term, doesn't it? I mean, depending on who you talk to, it either sounds like a compliment or a subtle little jab at someone's productivity, which I guess is always the way things go with labels these days. Maybe she just enjoys the quiet moments, or perhaps she’s mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing while looking perfectly composed, which is a skill in itself, really. I don't know. It's hard to say for sure without knowing the context, but there's something sort of peaceful about the idea, I suppose. kaže:
I mean, they aren't exactly being held under some microscope by Child Protective Services or anything like that. It’s more that the mother herself actually admitted she’s struggling to keep things together within the system right now. It isn't quite as if we’re constantly being watched by social workers or anything—that's not really what was said to us—it's just that the little guy is heading off to school this fall, and things are just... well, they're complicated.

I suppose you aren't planning on staying on an official basis, if that’s even what you meant.
Well, I suppose they’ve finally got you right where they want you now, and honestly, if I were in your shoes, I might start thinking twice before trying to sidestep any more federal regulations or legal hoops in their territory... it feels like once those agencies have you flagged, there isn't much room left for maneuvering, I guess.😉

I suppose one might call her a lady of leisure, though I’m never quite sure if that’s meant as a compliment or just a polite way of saying someone has far too much time on their hands, which, in this day and age, feels like a bit of a luxury, doesn't it? Maybe. It’s funny how we label people based on how they spend their hours, as if there’s some definitive rulebook for productivity that we're all supposed to be following religiously, but I guess life isn't always about the grind. Sometimes, it's just about existing without a schedule pressing down on you, which is a concept I find somewhat elusive myself most days. kaže:
I was just sitting there, waiting for my turn, observing one of those social workers at her desk, and I couldn't help but notice how she spends her time. It’s a bit strange, I guess, because while I’m standing outside just waiting for things to move along, I can see right into her office, and she’s mostly just snapping selfies and scrolling through Facebook. It seems like quite a lot of her actual working hours are being swallowed up by social media, which feels a little off, maybe, considering what she's supposed to be doing, though I suppose everyone has their own way of passing the time when they think nobody is watching.

I suppose this sort of thing actually touches on the subject at hand somehow... though I guess it’s hard to say exactly how it all connects, if you think about it for too long. Maybe there's a link there, somewhere, but I'm not entirely sure.🤷

I suppose one might call her a lady of leisure, though I’m never quite sure if that’s meant as a compliment or just a quiet way of saying someone has far too much time on their hands, which, in my experience, usually leads to a very specific kind of restlessness. kaže:
I guess we aren't some kind of special case here, if that’s what’s actually bothering you.

Honestly, it’s really nothing to worry about, I suppose—nothing's weighing on me at all, so there's truly no need for any concern.
I suppose I’m just exercising my right to sit on the sidelines and voice some disagreement when it comes to certain parents who seem to operate under the assumption that they "know best" about everything.

Look, I'm not breaking any rules here. I got it in writing from the government that the enrollment was pushed back because my kid cleared every single hurdle they set out. I didn't dodge anything. They set the guidelines, we followed them to a T.

You're mixing up legality with fairness. Law and justice? Not the same thing.

There are plenty of bad actors holding positions in this country, messing with the system. This isn't news; it's been happening forever. But if the principal says it's a mess, the special ed teacher says it's a mess, the speech therapist agrees, and even the school district confirms it... then either they all need to be fired, someone's lying, or it really is a disaster.

Regarding that social worker—I'm just pointing out what people actually do during office hours. They get paid to WORK, not to scroll through Facebook and take selfies.

If I don't work, I don't eat. Simple as that.

Hey, feel free to keep venting. Nobody's stopping you.