School closures/delays?

Honestly, I’m baffled by how much you’re selling your kid short.
On one hand, you’re saying everything’s fine, but then you flip the script and claim they’re gonna struggle with schoolwork, fail to grasp concepts, can't get anything right, and basically need constant tutoring...
And you're basing this whole outlook on yourself—on what happened when you were just a kid struggling to find your footing. For you
, things were rough. But look, you aren't your child, and your child isn't you.
By trying to shield them—who knows from what, though it sounds like your own baggage—you're actually doing them a massive disservice.
Seriously.
The only thing that’s actually going to sabotage a healthy kid in this situation is you not believing in what they can do.

Andrew Wright2 said:See, there’s the difference.

Our own doctor actually told us we should ask for a deferral. And she sees my little guy all the time—not because he’s sick, just because we live in a small town. She knows him, she knows he's totally fine. Even his preschool backed our simple request to hold off, and the school district was on the same page. We didn't have to harass anyone, play favorites, threaten people, or grease any palms. The principal himself even told me we did the right thing by asking for more time. I've known the guy since I was a kid; he's an easygoing, open guy who admitted the whole school system is basically a chaotic mess right now.

Around here, everyone treats this like it's perfectly normal. Even NASA supports deferrals, so honestly, it just comes down to how people handle it. Some get it, some don't. Guess it depends on the doctor or whatever.

And I'll say it again: my kid will be exactly 7 years and 10 months when he starts school. There's another kid starting at 8.5 years old who is just as healthy and well-adjusted. And nobody is making a scene about it or saying he'll fall behind or get bored in preschool, or that he won't be with kids his age. Seriously, nobody. Does that even make sense to you guys? Instead, they're actually supportive.

It's just typical professional omertà and solidarity—protecting their own. That's why they write like that. With the birth rate plummeting, we'll soon have kids going straight from the hospital to kindergarten.

urbantinker8 said:

I suppose one could call her a lady of leisure, though I suspect that’s a bit of an overstatement, if you ask me. It feels like such a loaded term, doesn't it? I mean, depending on who you talk to, it either sounds like a compliment or a subtle little jab at someone's productivity, which I guess is always the way things go with labels these days. Maybe she just enjoys the quiet moments, or perhaps she’s mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing while looking perfectly composed, which is a skill in itself, really. I don't know. It's hard to say for sure without knowing the context, but there's something sort of peaceful about the idea, I suppose. kaže:
I mean, they aren't exactly being held under some microscope by Child Protective Services or anything like that. It’s more that the mother herself actually admitted she’s struggling to keep things together within the system right now. It isn't quite as if we’re constantly being watched by social workers or anything—that's not really what was said to us—it's just that the little guy is heading off to school this fall, and things are just... well, they're complicated.

I suppose you aren't planning on staying on an official basis, if that’s even what you meant.
Well, I suppose they’ve finally got you right where they want you now, and honestly, if I were in your shoes, I might start thinking twice before trying to sidestep any more federal regulations or legal hoops in their territory... it feels like once those agencies have you flagged, there isn't much room left for maneuvering, I guess.😉

I suppose one might call her a lady of leisure, though I’m never quite sure if that’s meant as a compliment or just a polite way of saying someone has far too much time on their hands, which, in this day and age, feels like a bit of a luxury, doesn't it? Maybe. It’s funny how we label people based on how they spend their hours, as if there’s some definitive rulebook for productivity that we're all supposed to be following religiously, but I guess life isn't always about the grind. Sometimes, it's just about existing without a schedule pressing down on you, which is a concept I find somewhat elusive myself most days. kaže:
I was just sitting there, waiting for my turn, observing one of those social workers at her desk, and I couldn't help but notice how she spends her time. It’s a bit strange, I guess, because while I’m standing outside just waiting for things to move along, I can see right into her office, and she’s mostly just snapping selfies and scrolling through Facebook. It seems like quite a lot of her actual working hours are being swallowed up by social media, which feels a little off, maybe, considering what she's supposed to be doing, though I suppose everyone has their own way of passing the time when they think nobody is watching.

I suppose this sort of thing actually touches on the subject at hand somehow... though I guess it’s hard to say exactly how it all connects, if you think about it for too long. Maybe there's a link there, somewhere, but I'm not entirely sure.🤷

I suppose one might call her a lady of leisure, though I’m never quite sure if that’s meant as a compliment or just a quiet way of saying someone has far too much time on their hands, which, in my experience, usually leads to a very specific kind of restlessness. kaže:
I guess we aren't some kind of special case here, if that’s what’s actually bothering you.

Honestly, it’s really nothing to worry about, I suppose—nothing's weighing on me at all, so there's truly no need for any concern.
I suppose I’m just exercising my right to sit on the sidelines and voice some disagreement when it comes to certain parents who seem to operate under the assumption that they "know best" about everything.

It's a free country.

Andrew Wright2 said:Look, I'm not breaking any rules here. I got it in writing from the government that the enrollment was pushed back because my kid cleared every single hurdle they set out. I didn't dodge anything. They set the guidelines, we followed them to a T.

You're mixing up legality with fairness. Law and justice? Not the same thing.

There are plenty of bad actors holding positions in this country, messing with the system. This isn't news; it's been happening forever. But if the principal says it's a mess, the special ed teacher says it's a mess, the speech therapist agrees, and even the school district confirms it... then either they all need to be fired, someone's lying, or it really is a disaster.

Regarding that social worker—I'm just pointing out what people actually do during office hours. They get paid to WORK, not to scroll through Facebook and take selfies.

If I don't work, I don't eat. Simple as that.

Hey, feel free to keep venting. Nobody's stopping you.

It's not a disaster; it's perfect. All those Frupyin unicorns have apparently moved from CZSS over to the school system, which is probably why you haven't run into them.

Hey, look, everyone’s entitled to their own take on things. You see it one way, but me, my husband, and basically everyone else involved in this whole mess? We see it differently.

I already gave you the rundown on how that meeting with CZSS went. Laid out our entire process. That's all there is to it.

Anyway, gotta get back to work, ladies. Gotta pay the bills somehow.

Later.

Look, if a whole crowd of people gives you the green light to push things back without any drama, sorry, but you can't just claim it happened because you felt like it.

I’m not going to weigh in on that specific drama, but I see people saying it’s impossible to get a school deferral here in Chicago.
My experience with the district my kids are in has been the exact opposite.

Last year, my oldest was starting kindergarten. He turned 7 back in September.
He had all his preschool skills down—actually, way more than that. He breezed through the school interview, but the counselor noticed during their 15-minute chat that he gets distracted easily, so she suggested we consider holding him back for a year.
She wanted to send him for psychological testing first just to be sure.
I was honestly shocked at the idea of my kid starting first grade at 8 years old. It didn't even cross my mind that deferring would be an option, so I told her straight up: no way.
After thinking about it for a bit, he decided he wouldn't even bother with the testing "since he’d pass anyway," and figured he'd just mature a bit by September.

This year it's my youngest's turn. He's a March baby, so he'll be 6.5 in September.
He’s got all the basics covered too—even more than his big brother (he can already read, write, and count to 100). He’s totally stoked about starting school.
Given his birthday and what happened last year, I was certain they'd push for a deferral again.
He passed the school interview, even though he struggled a little with spatial awareness, which isn't really his thing.
The meeting was just Dad, the school psychologist, and the counselor.
The psychologist said he was ready to go, but the counselor suggested holding him back because of his fine motor skills (which his preschool teacher actually praised, by the way). They basically left the ball in our court to decide.
Of course, Dad jumped in immediately and said he's enrolling him.

So, from what I've seen, getting a deferral isn't hard at all. If anything, it feels like they try to push it on parents.🤷

Daniel Gomez10 said:I’m not going to weigh in on that specific drama, but I see people saying it’s impossible to get a school deferral here in Chicago.
My experience with the district my kids are in has been the exact opposite.

Last year, my oldest was starting kindergarten. He turned 7 back in September.
He had all his preschool skills down—actually, way more than that. He breezed through the school interview, but the counselor noticed during their 15-minute chat that he gets distracted easily, so she suggested we consider holding him back for a year.
She wanted to send him for psychological testing first just to be sure.
I was honestly shocked at the idea of my kid starting first grade at 8 years old. It didn't even cross my mind that deferring would be an option, so I told her straight up: no way.
After thinking about it for a bit, he decided he wouldn't even bother with the testing "since he’d pass anyway," and figured he'd just mature a bit by September.

This year it's my youngest's turn. He's a March baby, so he'll be 6.5 in September.
He’s got all the basics covered too—even more than his big brother (he can already read, write, and count to 100). He’s totally stoked about starting school.
Given his birthday and what happened last year, I was certain they'd push for a deferral again.
He passed the school interview, even though he struggled a little with spatial awareness, which isn't really his thing.
The meeting was just Dad, the school psychologist, and the counselor.
The psychologist said he was ready to go, but the counselor suggested holding him back because of his fine motor skills (which his preschool teacher actually praised, by the way). They basically left the ball in our court to decide.
Of course, Dad jumped in immediately and said he's enrolling him.

So, from what I've seen, getting a deferral isn't hard at all. If anything, it feels like they try to push it on parents.🤷

Well, I probably wouldn't go quite that far as to say it's being forced upon parents😁, though I will say it’s definitely (too) easy to get
.
I suppose it's true, really, since everything depends on such a wide range of variables: actual developmental struggles—though, honestly, it seems like nowadays practically everything gets labeled as an attention disorder, fine motor issues, speech delays, and so on🙄, I guess—plus things like where a kid falls on the birth date cutoff, how much pressure there is on a specific local elementary school, and even just which doctor, pediatrician, or specialist you happen to run into... BUT, in the last few years, I feel like parental insistence has become a huge factor too, and experts seem to be pushing back against those requests less and less than they used to
.

urbantinker8 said:Well, I probably wouldn't go quite that far as to say it's being forced upon parents😁, though I will say it’s definitely (too) easy to get
.
I suppose it's true, really, since everything depends on such a wide range of variables: actual developmental struggles—though, honestly, it seems like nowadays practically everything gets labeled as an attention disorder, fine motor issues, speech delays, and so on🙄, I guess—plus things like where a kid falls on the birth date cutoff, how much pressure there is on a specific local elementary school, and even just which doctor, pediatrician, or specialist you happen to run into... BUT, in the last few years, I feel like parental insistence has become a huge factor too, and experts seem to be pushing back against those requests less and less than they used to
.

Come on, don't tell me it wasn't pushed on us. I know for a fact I felt that pressure 🤷
we actually had to fight just to make sure we *didn't* get an extension.

nimblelynx7, please, just stop talking nonsense. We actually ran into each other during a similar debate once before, and it turned out those "arguments" of yours were totally baseless then, just like they are now. It’s not like anyone is attacking professionalism or anything—if there even is any—we’re just calling out this absolutely insane way things are being handled.

Daniel Gomez10, I guess the reality is that it depends a lot on who’s doing the evaluating and how big of a deal they personally make out of what they see. But at the same time, in both instances, they definitely spotted something. As for whether it’s truly critical or a massive headache for the school district, I probably shouldn't judge since I don't have all the details.
The whole issue with Andrew Wright2's situation is that it looks like they decided to delay development for a child who is perfectly on track based on nothing more than a whim and a single sentence, and yet everyone just went along with it.

It seems like it all comes down to the individual evaluating the kid. I was fully prepared for them to suggest holding him back a year, but nobody even brought it up. The pediatrician just mentioned he needs to work more on his fine motor skills. Maybe it’s because we went ahead and did psychological testing on our own before enrolling. I wanted everything documented in black and white to prove he's 100% ready for kindergarten, just in case the school district tries to push for a delay. Then I'd actually have something to wave in their faces. 😁

Daniel Gomez10 said:Come on, don't tell me it wasn't pushed on us. I know for a fact I felt that pressure 🤷
we actually had to fight just to make sure we *didn't* get an extension.

And look, maybe you guys just happened to run into some of those things I mentioned earlier—you know, like living in an overachieving neighborhood, hitting those specific age milestones a bit early, having "messy" handwriting, or just being in an environment where everyone jumps at the chance to delay things the second they can.
🤷
Regarding our own neighborhood, I was chatting last week with the teacher at my oldest's preschool, and she mentioned that out of both preschool groups this year (plus the kids in the mixed classes), absolutely NO children have been granted a deferral.
Now, whether that means nobody even asked or nobody was approved, I suppose I can't say for sure, but it seems to fit the pattern in this area—the high-pressure schools, the same group of specialists doing all the evaluations and interviews, and so on.
A few neighborhoods over, though, requesting a delay is practically the trend right now.😁

Ryan Stewart8 said:nimblelynx7, please, just stop talking nonsense. We actually ran into each other during a similar debate once before, and it turned out those "arguments" of yours were totally baseless then, just like they are now. It’s not like anyone is attacking professionalism or anything—if there even is any—we’re just calling out this absolutely insane way things are being handled.

Daniel Gomez10, I guess the reality is that it depends a lot on who’s doing the evaluating and how big of a deal they personally make out of what they see. But at the same time, in both instances, they definitely spotted something. As for whether it’s truly critical or a massive headache for the school district, I probably shouldn't judge since I don't have all the details.
The whole issue with Andrew Wright2's situation is that it looks like they decided to delay development for a child who is perfectly on track based on nothing more than a whim and a single sentence, and yet everyone just went along with it.

Just ignore them.
Otherwise, we'll probably end up back in that loop where, lacking actual points to make, people start quoting stuff about JPMorgan Chase or the population density of some random desert town.🤦

urbantinker8 said:And look, maybe you guys just happened to run into some of those things I mentioned earlier—you know, like living in an overachieving neighborhood, hitting those specific age milestones a bit early, having "messy" handwriting, or just being in an environment where everyone jumps at the chance to delay things the second they can.
🤷
Regarding our own neighborhood, I was chatting last week with the teacher at my oldest's preschool, and she mentioned that out of both preschool groups this year (plus the kids in the mixed classes), absolutely NO children have been granted a deferral.
Now, whether that means nobody even asked or nobody was approved, I suppose I can't say for sure, but it seems to fit the pattern in this area—the high-pressure schools, the same group of specialists doing all the evaluations and interviews, and so on.
A few neighborhoods over, though, requesting a delay is practically the trend right now.😁

Just ignore them.
Otherwise, we'll probably end up back in that loop where, lacking actual points to make, people start quoting stuff about JPMorgan Chase or the population density of some random desert town.🤦

In my son's class, judging by the birthday party invites floating around, there are at least five kids who were held back. There are 21 kids total. I guess we really are living in one of those neighborhoods where delaying school is the "in" thing to do.

I’ve already pointed this out a few times now in this thread—whether we delay things or not, it feels like it doesn't even matter. It all leads to the same place anyway.

Tyler Ruiz502 said:I’ve already pointed this out a few times now in this thread—whether we delay things or not, it feels like it doesn't even matter. It all leads to the same place anyway.

It feels a little silly to generalize like that or to act like the whole concept of grade retention is some trivial thing.🤷
For those kids who don't actually *need* to be held back, but are pushed into it for the wrong reasons, maybe they will end up at the same destination in the end, I guess.
But then you have the children for whom grade retention was originally designed; if we actually take active steps to help them catch up and fix the areas where they're struggling, they might actually see some benefit this year.

Grade retention exists for the kids who truly need it, and anything beyond that is just an abuse of the system. It’s kind of like if parents of perfectly healthy kids suddenly started demanding special education assistants in class just because it would make their lives a little easier.🙄

Tyler Ruiz502 said:I’ve already pointed this out a few times now in this thread—whether we delay things or not, it feels like it doesn't even matter. It all leads to the same place anyway.

Well, I don't think it works quite like that. A single request for a delay is pretty much a non-issue on its own, but the real trouble seems to be that these requests are becoming increasingly common.
And the underlying issue is that these delays often seem to go hand-in-hand with helicopter parenting or parents having overly lofty ambitions for their kids. You constantly hear people complaining about children who are "too hyperactive." But honestly, what should seven-year-olds be like if they aren't energetic, full of life, and completely uninterested in sitting still for obligations? If we have to wait until they stop being spirited, until they can sit quietly in a desk for hours on end from day one and master everything their parents expect, then we might as well just wait a few more years and enroll thirty-year-olds in first grade. And even then, I bet you'd still find some worried parent making a fuss...

If these delays are truly happening as often as people say, we are essentially raising generations of people who lack basic competence—not because they are incapable, but because their own parents unintentionally stifle them by never actually trusting in their abilities. It feels like a broken system, coupled with that unfortunate social worker mentioned in the earlier posts, is working overtime to ensure that happens.

At the end of the day, the more of these unjustified delays we allow, the more we're actually depriving the children who truly, desperately need that extra time.

northerncobra27 said:Well, I don't think it works quite like that. A single request for a delay is pretty much a non-issue on its own, but the real trouble seems to be that these requests are becoming increasingly common.
And the underlying issue is that these delays often seem to go hand-in-hand with helicopter parenting or parents having overly lofty ambitions for their kids. You constantly hear people complaining about children who are "too hyperactive." But honestly, what should seven-year-olds be like if they aren't energetic, full of life, and completely uninterested in sitting still for obligations? If we have to wait until they stop being spirited, until they can sit quietly in a desk for hours on end from day one and master everything their parents expect, then we might as well just wait a few more years and enroll thirty-year-olds in first grade. And even then, I bet you'd still find some worried parent making a fuss...

If these delays are truly happening as often as people say, we are essentially raising generations of people who lack basic competence—not because they are incapable, but because their own parents unintentionally stifle them by never actually trusting in their abilities. It feels like a broken system, coupled with that unfortunate social worker mentioned in the earlier posts, is working overtime to ensure that happens.

At the end of the day, the more of these unjustified delays we allow, the more we're actually depriving the children who truly, desperately need that extra time.

igzekli.👍

Ryan Stewart8 said:nimblelynx7, please, just stop talking nonsense. We actually ran into each other during a similar debate once before, and it turned out those "arguments" of yours were totally baseless then, just like they are now. It’s not like anyone is attacking professionalism or anything—if there even is any—we’re just calling out this absolutely insane way things are being handled.

Daniel Gomez10, I guess the reality is that it depends a lot on who’s doing the evaluating and how big of a deal they personally make out of what they see. But at the same time, in both instances, they definitely spotted something. As for whether it’s truly critical or a massive headache for the school district, I probably shouldn't judge since I don't have all the details.
The whole issue with Andrew Wright2's situation is that it looks like they decided to delay development for a child who is perfectly on track based on nothing more than a whim and a single sentence, and yet everyone just went along with it.

I wasn't actually talking about the Socialite's situation; I was reacting to several people here saying how hard it is to get a delay without a massive reason.
In my experience, that hasn't been true at all—they offer delays even when they aren't really needed.
Plus, hearing stories from other parents and seeing certain enrollments here, it seems the same.

They didn't find anything.
They were probably just grasping at straws.
My senior finished first grade without any issues; he had a few grades that weren't straight A's, but he was one of the best behaved kids in class (just super quiet, calm, and listens well).
I'm pretty sure things will be just as smooth with my junior.

urbantinker8 said:Well, I probably wouldn't go quite that far as to say it's being forced upon parents😁, though I will say it’s definitely (too) easy to get
.
I suppose it's true, really, since everything depends on such a wide range of variables: actual developmental struggles—though, honestly, it seems like nowadays practically everything gets labeled as an attention disorder, fine motor issues, speech delays, and so on🙄, I guess—plus things like where a kid falls on the birth date cutoff, how much pressure there is on a specific local elementary school, and even just which doctor, pediatrician, or specialist you happen to run into... BUT, in the last few years, I feel like parental insistence has become a huge factor too, and experts seem to be pushing back against those requests less and less than they used to
.

What do you mean by overcrowding at the school?
Do they have so many kids enrolling that they suggest deferrals for those on the edge of the age cutoff? 😕
So they'll just show up next year when there might be even more applicants? Or did they already defer 14 students last year, so now they need to defer another 14 just to balance the numbers? 😂

A parent who "insists" usually ends up exaggerating the situation, which isn't something you can really verify during a quick 15-minute screening (I sometimes wonder why these assessments aren't longer or more thorough...)
Trying to point them toward a second opinion is mostly a lost cause anyway. By the time a child goes in for an assessment in April or May, by the time they actually get an appointment at a clinic, they're already finishing the first semester or even the whole first grade.
So, yeah, it's a bit of a mess. 🤷
And for what it's worth, preschool opinions still don't seem to carry much weight. Since they're under orders from the School District to clear spots for new enrollments, they often skip over certain issues, meaning kids get enrolled without any deferral. In my opinion, that’s actually a bigger problem than the kids who actually do get their schooling delayed.

Daniel Gomez10 said:I wasn't actually talking about the Socialite's situation; I was reacting to several people here saying how hard it is to get a delay without a massive reason.
In my experience, that hasn't been true at all—they offer delays even when they aren't really needed.
Plus, hearing stories from other parents and seeing certain enrollments here, it seems the same.

They didn't find anything.
They were probably just grasping at straws.
My senior finished first grade without any issues; he had a few grades that weren't straight A's, but he was one of the best behaved kids in class (just super quiet, calm, and listens well).
I'm pretty sure things will be just as smooth with my junior.

How did he finish without any trouble if he ended the year with anything less than a 4.0? 😕
Just one B on a report card sends a message that maybe he should have been deferred, and anything more than that suggests you've set him up for failure. 😬 🐔

Tyler Ruiz502 said:I’ve already pointed this out a few times now in this thread—whether we delay things or not, it feels like it doesn't even matter. It all leads to the same place anyway.

Not all delays are created equal, though. A Socialite mentioned a kid starting school at 8.5 years old. At that rate, that person will be turning 20 somewhere around their senior year of high school. It feels like a 20-year-old probably shouldn't still be hanging out in a high school hallway. 🤷 Maybe I'm just too stuck in the "traditional" way of doing things, but I can't help how I see it.

What does it matter if they have a driver's license while still in high school?
Like I said before, I knew a guy who started college at 17. He started sixth grade and finished a three-year program. Back at the admissions office, they were actually debating whether he was even eligible to enroll or if they needed to set up a special info session just for him.

I remember reading this article about a high school where kids were driving themselves to campus. The teachers couldn't find any parking spots for their own cars, so they went to the local news to complain and practically begged parents to stop letting their kids drive to school.
They argued it wasn't fair to the students who had to walk.
Of course, those kids weren't doing it to be obnoxious; they did it because driving is cheaper than taking the bus, especially since the local transit authority keeps hiking the fares.

Then, some teacher chimed in through the article, suggesting that the legal driving age should be pushed back to at least 21 to prevent this mess. His logic? It’s "inappropriate" for students to show up in cars. You can just tell how much he "loves" his students and the sanctity of education.

It makes me wonder: do traffic laws apply to everyone, or does a teacher always get the right of way?

Susan James said:What do you mean by overcrowding at the school?
Do they have so many kids enrolling that they suggest deferrals for those on the edge of the age cutoff? 😕
So they'll just show up next year when there might be even more applicants? Or did they already defer 14 students last year, so now they need to defer another 14 just to balance the numbers? 😂

A parent who "insists" usually ends up exaggerating the situation, which isn't something you can really verify during a quick 15-minute screening (I sometimes wonder why these assessments aren't longer or more thorough...)
Trying to point them toward a second opinion is mostly a lost cause anyway. By the time a child goes in for an assessment in April or May, by the time they actually get an appointment at a clinic, they're already finishing the first semester or even the whole first grade.
So, yeah, it's a bit of a mess. 🤷
And for what it's worth, preschool opinions still don't seem to carry much weight. Since they're under orders from the School District to clear spots for new enrollments, they often skip over certain issues, meaning kids get enrolled without any deferral. In my opinion, that’s actually a bigger problem than the kids who actually do get their schooling delayed.

How did he finish without any trouble if he ended the year with anything less than a 4.0? 😕
Just one B on a report card sends a message that maybe he should have been deferred, and anything more than that suggests you've set him up for failure. 😬 🐔

whether you believe it or not—whenever there’s a year where the student count gets a bit overwhelming and they can't really manage it properly (you know, massive class sizes or just an inability to organize after-school care effectively)—they just start handing out deferrals whenever they feel like it.
in neighborhoods like that, I guess the schools stay somewhat "in sync" with the local preschools to get a rough idea of how many toddlers are coming their way, and they use that to adjust things if they absolutely have to.
plus, there's this general trend across the country toward declining birth rates, so maybe they're just hoping these delays won't totally mess up next year's numbers.

it's just the reality of dealing with a handful of older, underfunded schools and all that...
honestly, it doesn't surprise me one bit.🤷