School closures/delays?

I don't think this is just about the game itself. It’s more about that phase of life where you aren't weighed down by responsibilities yet.
It's a time when nobody is stressing over homework, tracking the clock, cleaning up their gear, or worrying about gym clothes, school schedules, or when they need to be picked up—not that daycare is ever really strict about timing anyway.
And let's be honest, not every kid in after-school programs actually gets their work done there.

Plus, despite all the playtime, they still have plenty of room to grow and prepare for everything else life eventually throws at them.

It’s all just drama again, as per usual.
It feels like you go straight from preschool to a federal penitentiary.
A whole life, just gone.🙄

Quincy:

I guess maybe things are getting a little bit fruity around here. kaže: It’s all just drama, as usual. I guess it feels like you go straight from daycare to prison; life's pretty much over.🙄

Times have changed quite a bit, I suppose; families used to be much larger and more multigenerational back in the day, with grandparents and extended relatives all playing some kind of role in raising the kids. Nowadays, it seems like parents just lean on the local public schools for everything, though those institutions seem mostly interested in being strictly academic, almost as if they've decided that providing any kind of guidance or moral upbringing isn't really their responsibility anymore.

If a school happens to have two first-grade classes, I guess they could just quietly agree behind the scenes to designate one specifically for kids who need a bit more support. It might mean there wouldn't be any real need to delay their start at school, maybe.

John Palmer9 said:Quincy:

I guess maybe things are getting a little bit fruity around here. kaže: It’s all just drama, as usual. I guess it feels like you go straight from daycare to prison; life's pretty much over.🙄

Times have changed quite a bit, I suppose; families used to be much larger and more multigenerational back in the day, with grandparents and extended relatives all playing some kind of role in raising the kids. Nowadays, it seems like parents just lean on the local public schools for everything, though those institutions seem mostly interested in being strictly academic, almost as if they've decided that providing any kind of guidance or moral upbringing isn't really their responsibility anymore.

If a school happens to have two first-grade classes, I guess they could just quietly agree behind the scenes to designate one specifically for kids who need a bit more support. It might mean there wouldn't be any real need to delay their start at school, maybe.

Everything has to be official and there has to be paperwork for every single thing. How are they supposed to agree on which class gets the specialized group without making it public?

At the end of the day, these kinds of classroom setups already exist in various schools. A friend of mine works at one such school, and she says working in a room where every single child has special needs is absolutely terrifying.

Character building starts at birth, not when a kid turns 6 or 7.

And from my own experience, a child who isn't ready at 6 won't magically be ready at 7 or 8 either; that extra year doesn't change a thing. It is a matter of character, not maturity.
It’s just like getting used to daycare—they won't truly adjust until they are actually there for the full day, rather than just sitting there for a few hours over several months.

Jacob Lopez2 said:Everything has to be official and there has to be paperwork for every single thing. How are they supposed to agree on which class gets the specialized group without making it public?

At the end of the day, these kinds of classroom setups already exist in various schools. A friend of mine works at one such school, and she says working in a room where every single child has special needs is absolutely terrifying.

Character building starts at birth, not when a kid turns 6 or 7.

And from my own experience, a child who isn't ready at 6 won't magically be ready at 7 or 8 either; that extra year doesn't change a thing. It is a matter of character, not maturity.
It’s just like getting used to daycare—they won't truly adjust until they are actually there for the full day, rather than just sitting there for a few hours over several months.

Probably, but enrolling them early makes it much harder to get the timing right. There's a much higher chance of making a mistake.

@Trump: now I'm curious, are we talking about something serious here, or just issues like blood pressure fluctuations and such?

John Palmer9 said:Quincy:

I guess maybe things are getting a little bit fruity around here. kaže: It’s all just drama, as usual. I guess it feels like you go straight from daycare to prison; life's pretty much over.🙄

Times have changed quite a bit, I suppose; families used to be much larger and more multigenerational back in the day, with grandparents and extended relatives all playing some kind of role in raising the kids. Nowadays, it seems like parents just lean on the local public schools for everything, though those institutions seem mostly interested in being strictly academic, almost as if they've decided that providing any kind of guidance or moral upbringing isn't really their responsibility anymore.

If a school happens to have two first-grade classes, I guess they could just quietly agree behind the scenes to designate one specifically for kids who need a bit more support. It might mean there wouldn't be any real need to delay their start at school, maybe.

Usually, there are specialized classrooms designed for kids with specific challenges—smaller groups, maybe only five students—where you have specialists like therapists working right alongside the teacher.
In my kid's school, by some stroke of bad luck, one particular classroom ended up with a disproportionate number of kids dealing with (unidentified) struggles—and honestly, it’s a nightmare for both the students and the teachers. The class size looks totally standard on paper, but when you realize five of those kids have significant issues, things get messy fast. Add in a lack of cooperation from parents regarding professional support, and you’ve basically got recipe for chaos.
I really can't wrap my head around how these needs weren't caught during preschool, or even earlier.

John Palmer9 said:Quincy:

I guess maybe things are getting a little bit fruity around here. kaže: It’s all just drama, as usual. I guess it feels like you go straight from daycare to prison; life's pretty much over.🙄

Times have changed quite a bit, I suppose; families used to be much larger and more multigenerational back in the day, with grandparents and extended relatives all playing some kind of role in raising the kids. Nowadays, it seems like parents just lean on the local public schools for everything, though those institutions seem mostly interested in being strictly academic, almost as if they've decided that providing any kind of guidance or moral upbringing isn't really their responsibility anymore.

If a school happens to have two first-grade classes, I guess they could just quietly agree behind the scenes to designate one specifically for kids who need a bit more support. It might mean there wouldn't be any real need to delay their start at school, maybe.

Could you maybe clarify what you mean by ignoring the character-building and advisory roles? Across several different topics—whether we're talking about middle school or high school—you keep mentioning how schools have forgotten their duty to guide students and focus solely on academics.

What exactly do you mean by that, and in your view, what should teachers be doing more of to actually focus on student development?

rowdypanther12 said:It just goes to show how much schools differ; my daughter was always one of the first to finish her assignments, so she’d be done in less than an hour.
Then you have the kids who stretch things out, working on homework until the very end of after-school care.
The way American schools are set up, kids are expected to sit still and listen, with three to five hours of formal classes where they mostly just sit there quietly.
I honestly don't see how you can compare that to preschool.
That doesn't mean school is bad, nor does it mean everyone needs to ask for exemptions.
But the reality is that kids get a lot less playtime in school compared to preschool, where they basically spend all ten hours playing or resting.

There really is a world of difference between schools and preschools.
Even within those systems, things vary wildly depending on which teacher you get or who is running the program.

My daughter loved her after-school care during first grade. But by second grade—and especially third—it turned into a total nightmare. (We didn't formally pull her out in third grade because we didn't want to deal with all the paperwork, but she was miserable. There was almost zero playtime; instead, it was endless hours of homework and those repetitive creative projects for various holidays, plus a whole lot of sitting around).

Preschool, on the other hand, offered endless educational content wrapped up in play, so seamlessly that you wouldn't even realize you were learning... looking back, it's funny how long it took her to realize how much of a head start she actually had. Seriously, seven years later, she’s recognizing concepts from chemistry class that she actually first encountered back in preschool! 🙏
And I’m not surprised that physics and chemistry are her favorite subjects now; she built such a solid foundation and genuine interest from such a young age, thanks to some really great encouragement from adults (and no, it wasn't us 😂). You can really see the difference in the kids from her preschool compared to the rest of her class. She even remembers playing with Legos and magnets in preschool while they were learning fractions in school; the preschool teachers did such a deep dive into the basics, whereas school just kind of expects you to already know them.

In truth, she learned to read, write, and do math primarily through preschool. Not to mention the endless English songs they sang; her vocabulary from those two years is broader than what most kids pick up in their first three years of elementary school. And I won't even go into the spontaneous, daily communication she was exposed to... it was just a completely different way of learning, combined with tons of play. Since she wasn't a big sleeper, the teachers didn't force worksheets on her; instead, they assessed what each child needed. Plus, since the groups were spread out over a large area, the kids could just go play once they finished their tasks. 🙏 It was night and day compared to after-school care a few years later 🤦, and unlike many other typical preschool stories I've heard. 🤷

I'm not saying I would keep a child in preschool for an extra year just because of this, but I can totally empathize with the parents who opted for preschool over school or left their kids in our care. Those kids truly gained so much, both academically and personally. (Back then, if delaying enrollment or early entry were the extremes, you'd have to provide a massive amount of justification).
Actually, from what I overheard back then—and what people talk about openly now—a huge number of parents were strategically picking their first-grade teachers. Some delayed enrollment specifically to avoid certain teachers, while others pushed for early enrollment to snag the "top three" teachers. Some even refused to delay because they "didn't want to risk a bad teacher," thinking, "Better to start now with the teacher my older child had; we can always hire a speech therapist later." It’s a huge issue.🙄🤦 It really depends on which school district they’re aiming for. 🤦
Lately, I’ve been realizing how much sense "holding back" a child has lost. It feels like it’s more about parental convenience—who the kid will be in class with—rather than whether they are actually ready for the academic workload or have outgrown preschool.
(And sometimes, specialists are just brought in to validate what the parents already want to hear.)

As long as the child attended preschool regularly (maybe missing a few days a year due to the occasional cold), I truly believe daycare teachers are the most qualified people to judge if a kid is ready for kindergarten. Even when there's pressure to free up spots—since they might turn away a hundred kids the previous year and need to account for siblings applying later—these teachers see the daily reality.

If a daycare teacher disagrees with an outside specialist working with a child, I think that only matters if we’re talking about a deep-seated issue that won't resolve itself quickly. If a child needs support, they can continue treatments through first grade anyway. Honestly, it’s often easier to organize those sessions during the preschool years, and children tend to thrive even more when they get that extra support alongside plenty of playtime and freedom.
But you have to have a clear, honest conversation with the preschool staff and work out a plan so the child doesn't feel like an outsider who's just lingering.

Delaying a child's start just for the sake of play 🙄, making life easier for the parents, or using excuses like "we didn't get to say goodbye to the preschool crew because of the 2020 lockdowns" (which, let's face it, happened to everyone from elementary students to high school grads) should be off the table. I honestly think these delays should be prohibited, maybe even penalized, because they cause long-term harm to the kids.
Even a small difference, like being born just a month before the cutoff, messes with enrollment numbers. It shifts how many classrooms and teachers a district needs, affects future high school placements, and can lead to schools "recommending" delays for less justifiable reasons just because their rosters are already full from previous years. It becomes this cycle that repeats year after year.

In my opinion, there should be consequences for parents who refuse to sign off on a necessary delay just because they think the speech therapist or psychologist is overreacting. It’s heartbreaking to see them complaining about the school system five years later when they realize their child is struggling significantly.

Carl Bishop2 said:Usually, there are specialized classrooms designed for kids with specific challenges—smaller groups, maybe only five students—where you have specialists like therapists working right alongside the teacher.
In my kid's school, by some stroke of bad luck, one particular classroom ended up with a disproportionate number of kids dealing with (unidentified) struggles—and honestly, it’s a nightmare for both the students and the teachers. The class size looks totally standard on paper, but when you realize five of those kids have significant issues, things get messy fast. Add in a lack of cooperation from parents regarding professional support, and you’ve basically got recipe for chaos.
I really can't wrap my head around how these needs weren't caught during preschool, or even earlier.

It’s usually because they didn't attend preschool regularly, if they went at all.
In New York City, we see kids whose moms are on public assistance and might not have had access to daycare. If those parents weren't aware of the developmental delays themselves, it's unlikely they would have sought out the necessary referrals or assessments during their early years.

The biggest issue, though, is that parents are allowed to just sign off on delaying enrollment. Basically, if they don't want to agree to a delay, they don't have to sign anything. To me, that just doesn't make sense.

It works out okay in NYC because daycare is relatively affordable here, but once you move into the suburbs, people start doing the math. They realize it's actually cheaper to just send them to public school—especially now that lunch is free too—than to pay for childcare.

urbanowl81 said:Probably, but enrolling them early makes it much harder to get the timing right. There's a much higher chance of making a mistake.

@Trump: now I'm curious, are we talking about something serious here, or just issues like blood pressure fluctuations and such?

Exactly my thoughts. I don't see why anyone is rushing. Waiting a year isn't going to ruin anything, and it might actually mean getting a better deal.

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nimblelynx7 said:Exactly my thoughts. I don't see why anyone is rushing. Waiting a year isn't going to ruin anything, and it might actually mean getting a better deal.

I strongly disagree with the notion that you can always just "catch up" later. In the lower grades, physical disparities are glaringly obvious; if a classroom is mostly composed of six and seven-year-olds, an eight-year-old is going to tower over everyone, which creates massive issues with social integration.

Furthermore, staying in preschool for an additional year usually means the entire group shifts together, and by the time they finally move up with the younger kids, those children have already physically outgrown the curriculum entirely.

I can’t help but think back to a situation with my youngest. At the beginning of the school year, during one of those parent meetings, we found out that about four kids had been "held back" a grade. Some of the moms were actually being quite open about it, saying they wanted them held back just "so they could play a little longer." By the end of that preschool year, I actually witnessed one of those kids crying in the locker room because he didn't want to go into the classroom. His mom was right there, pleading with him, telling him he just had to hang in there a bit longer until summer and then he'd finally be in "real" school...

I just find myself picturing that child—now seven and a half years old, completely unfazed, having already gone through the pre-K curriculum twice. He already knows his letters, how to read, and his numbers up to 100. Can you imagine him walking into a first-grade classroom, only to spend another entire year on fine motor skills and "re-learning" printed letters that he mastered ages ago?

How is it even possible to justify holding a kid back if they aren't actually struggling?
Maybe some people find it a little easier to say, "We decided to give them more time to just be a kid," rather than admitting, "Our child is having a hard time."

Carl Bishop2 said:How is it even possible to justify holding a kid back if they aren't actually struggling?
Maybe some people find it a little easier to say, "We decided to give them more time to just be a kid," rather than admitting, "Our child is having a hard time."

It’s definitely doable; there are plenty of ways to make it happen. You really just need to find a pediatrician who is willing to be flexible... people can get quite creative when they set their minds to something. It's especially common if the child is right on the age cutoff. In fact, looking at this thread, you can see a few folks here who share that same sentiment—thinking "there's no harm in waiting" or suggesting "if you can delay it, go for it." Some of the moms mentioned they held their kids back for specific developmental reasons, while others were very candid about what I just noted, even chuckling about how they managed to navigate around the official rules. People tend to be surprisingly open during these conversations when they feel they're doing what's best for their family, even if it means bending the system. There's almost a sense of, "We beat the bureaucracy, hooray!" ☕

Jacob Lopez2 said:I strongly disagree with the notion that you can always just "catch up" later. In the lower grades, physical disparities are glaringly obvious; if a classroom is mostly composed of six and seven-year-olds, an eight-year-old is going to tower over everyone, which creates massive issues with social integration.

Furthermore, staying in preschool for an additional year usually means the entire group shifts together, and by the time they finally move up with the younger kids, those children have already physically outgrown the curriculum entirely.

Fitting in? It’s a joke. Maybe it's because they wear glasses. Maybe it's because they don't. Maybe they're too tall, or maybe they're too short. Could be their ears stick out. Could be they're just too reserved. Or maybe they simply know more than everyone else in the room. "Fitting in" might be the problem—or it might not be.

Carl Bishop2 said:How is it even possible to justify holding a kid back if they aren't actually struggling?
Maybe some people find it a little easier to say, "We decided to give them more time to just be a kid," rather than admitting, "Our child is having a hard time."

It’s possible.
Why on earth should a kid born in the second half of the year, or even late March, be forced into school at six years old? Just because some arbitrary law says so? That law is absolute nonsense. It needs to be bypassed and ignored entirely.
That’s the primary, fundamental, and more than sufficient reason to delay. If there’s even one more minor excuse to push this back, then in my opinion, there’s really nothing left to debate.
Like I said, one year makes zero difference. You'll get there eventually.

So, I ended up sending one kid off to kindergarten at six and a half, while my younger one didn't start until they were seven and a half. People might say I bent the rules or whatever, but honestly? I don’t feel bad about it one bit—if anything, I’m kicking myself for not doing the exact same thing with my oldest.
I mean, how is a forty-five-minute standardized test supposed to actually tell you anything meaningful about a kid's potential? It's a joke.
Spending an extra couple of years in preschool isn't going to ruin them, even if we're talking about a total whiz kid who's already lightyears ahead of the curve.
And let's bust that myth that they'll just sit there bored out of their minds in class while everyone else is struggling to recognize the alphabet when they've been reading books since they could walk.
At the end of the day, it all really boils down to the individual kid and whether or not their teacher actually knows how to handle them.

Both of my kids started school right around age six, and honestly, I don’t regret it one bit. If I had the choice—and looking back, maybe I even did have it, though I never really checked the fine print—I wouldn't have kept them in preschool for an extra year if I could have helped it. I mean, what more would they even be doing there? Once they hit elementary school, they were finally with kids their own age, diving into subjects they actually felt ready to tackle. In fact, if my daughter hadn't been on the wrong side of the cutoff date by just two months, I probably would have enrolled her even earlier. Preschool had become such a bore for her, whereas she was breezing through those first four grades like it was nothing.

I spent a ton of time working closely with my oldest, mostly because he just needed that extra hand, you know? One year, his teacher actually suggested we get him some specialized tutoring because he was really struggling to wrap his head around what he was reading.
The real headaches didn't kick in until the higher grades, though. He was one of the youngest in his group, and since his puberty hit way later than everyone else—like, he didn't even start really going through it until the end of eighth grade—he felt like a total outsider. Imagine being in a classroom full of kids hitting their growth spurts while you're still feeling like an alien from another planet.
So, yeah, he started pulling away from the crowd, and honestly, most of those kids drifted away from him too.

It’s a good feeling, though, knowing deep down that you did the right thing. At the end of the day, it's better for them to just fit in and not have school or the curriculum feel like this massive, crushing weight on their shoulders.

I messed up in some ways, sure, and I can't exactly go back and hit a rewind button on time.

Look, there’s a massive difference between delaying school because a child has specific developmental needs—though, honestly, I always wonder if extra time actually helps. If their struggles weren't caught early enough in preschool, what is an extra year of just playing really going to achieve instead of targeted intervention? But then you have people online literally saying, "just delay them if you can," treating the idea of a six-and-a-half-year-old starting kindergarten like it's some kind of systemic cruelty or a punishment from above. To me, that's just total nonsense.

On a different note, I definitely know kids who were absolutely miserable because they were bored out of their minds, especially during after-school programs. If you combine that boredom with a teacher who isn't particularly engaging, those first couple of grades can be a pretty rough experience. I remember one little guy I know—his older sister used to constantly have to pick him up early from daycare because he couldn't stand sitting there for an hour doing homework. He usually finished everything during class time anyway since he could already read, write, and do math better than what they were teaching, having mastered most of it two years before he even started. He didn't actually start school until he was seven and a half because of his late birthday. Whenever his sister would ask how school was, he’d just roll his eyes and laugh about how "hard" it was because they were "already working on the number 5." He had this incredibly sharp sense of sarcasm and irony for such a little kid.