School closures/delays?

Sarah Hall53 said:My two cents: ask for the delay. That extra year could mean everything for his emotional and psychological well-being—it'll make it much easier for him to deal with the fact that some things come harder to him than to others.
If you ask me, it feels like the preschool is just eager to clear a spot in their enrollment. ☕

I probably will... if this were my first child, I might hesitate, but I’ve seen how quickly the American school system can swallow you whole once the grind truly begins...

Reminds me a little of my kid with Asperger's.

I actually broke down crying when they pushed his school start date back. I was playing the part of the "gifted child mom," thinking an extra year in preschool was just wasted time.
But man, looking back, the way he changed during that year? It was wild. He truly matured.
He ended up starting kindergarten at 7 years and 7 months old.

That is precisely what I am banking on... Granted, the inevitable headaches and complications aren't going away—they’ll always be there to some degree, regardless of what we do—but at least he might actually learn how to manage them with a bit more grace

So, I’ve got this very average five-and-a-half-year-old girl—she was born just a month after the cutoff date—and honestly, everyone around me is riding my back like I'm some kind of criminal. They keep asking, "Why aren't you just putting her in kindergarten this year? If she starts in 2024, she'll be SEVEN AND A HALF!"
And seriously, what's the end game there? Is she going to be sitting in high school coloring in books because she's behind?
The thing is, it's so obvious that she isn't emotionally or mentally ready for school yet. She’s stubborn, she doesn't take "no" for an answer, and she really just does whatever she wants. If I actually dropped her into a classroom this September, I’d probably be spending every single week in parent-teacher conferences because she refuses to follow directions—or rather, she'll just do her own thing whenever she feels like it, regardless of whether it's time to work or not. 🤦

Sarah Hall53 said:So, I’ve got this very average five-and-a-half-year-old girl—she was born just a month after the cutoff date—and honestly, everyone around me is riding my back like I'm some kind of criminal. They keep asking, "Why aren't you just putting her in kindergarten this year? If she starts in 2024, she'll be SEVEN AND A HALF!"
And seriously, what's the end game there? Is she going to be sitting in high school coloring in books because she's behind?
The thing is, it's so obvious that she isn't emotionally or mentally ready for school yet. She’s stubborn, she doesn't take "no" for an answer, and she really just does whatever she wants. If I actually dropped her into a classroom this September, I’d probably be spending every single week in parent-teacher conferences because she refuses to follow directions—or rather, she'll just do her own thing whenever she feels like it, regardless of whether it's time to work or not. 🤦

I'd definitely suggest enrolling her. Sure, there might be some growing pains, but those things are usually easier to manage once they're actually in the school system.

Me, should I? Haha, no way—my little gremlin is going to start school when she’s actually eligible. It’ll give her just enough time to mature a bit, maybe learn how to handle those impulses, and hopefully turn into a slightly less chaotic little creature.

And Garf, I’d honestly suggest holding off too. Like I mentioned before, I really think an older kid handles things better—you know, when they don't get as frustrated by all the stuff that seems easy for everyone else but feels impossible for them.

I’m honestly not sure what advice I could give you, Garf. My little one started school with an IQ of 77, and for our family, holding off was absolutely the right call—nobody even questioned it at the time. Even the kid himself mentioned he didn't feel ready for the classroom environment. I did have one friend ask how I was feeling about the delay; I figured she might find the idea of postponing school harder to swallow than I did, but looking back after all those years of therapy sessions, I’m just so relieved he can attend a mainstream school now. A year later, the timing of it all didn't even seem to matter anymore.
That same friend has a child with undiagnosed Asperger who is also quite a little genius. He started school at age 6.5 and is currently in third grade, but he’s still struggling with emotional maturity—specifically, he tends to lash out in anger whenever he hits a wall or loses at something (like during a game of chess). In his case, I don't think delaying school would have made much difference; maybe some specialized therapy would help, but right now, his parents are just doing their best to manage those outbursts themselves.
My son actually faced much tougher challenges with language and speech because we waited to start school. To this day, he still trips up on grammar—using masculine pronouns when he means a girl, for example—and there was a period where he struggled with basic verb conjugations, though he's improved there. It’s fascinating how kids with different diagnoses process language; they create their own words and patterns (which makes sense, given how we learn roots and suffixes). The real struggle, though, is navigating the complexities of the English language. 🤣

Carl Bishop2 said:I’m honestly not sure what advice I could give you, Garf. My little one started school with an IQ of 77, and for our family, holding off was absolutely the right call—nobody even questioned it at the time. Even the kid himself mentioned he didn't feel ready for the classroom environment. I did have one friend ask how I was feeling about the delay; I figured she might find the idea of postponing school harder to swallow than I did, but looking back after all those years of therapy sessions, I’m just so relieved he can attend a mainstream school now. A year later, the timing of it all didn't even seem to matter anymore.
That same friend has a child with undiagnosed Asperger who is also quite a little genius. He started school at age 6.5 and is currently in third grade, but he’s still struggling with emotional maturity—specifically, he tends to lash out in anger whenever he hits a wall or loses at something (like during a game of chess). In his case, I don't think delaying school would have made much difference; maybe some specialized therapy would help, but right now, his parents are just doing their best to manage those outbursts themselves.
My son actually faced much tougher challenges with language and speech because we waited to start school. To this day, he still trips up on grammar—using masculine pronouns when he means a girl, for example—and there was a period where he struggled with basic verb conjugations, though he's improved there. It’s fascinating how kids with different diagnoses process language; they create their own words and patterns (which makes sense, given how we learn roots and suffixes). The real struggle, though, is navigating the complexities of the English language. 🤣

Which is exactly why English is the absolute king; you don't have to deal with all those endless cases and genders.
👎

Honestly, my English spelling and grammar skills are finally starting to behave themselves.

Those irregular verbs that just refuse to make any sense 😁

If a lion is a lion and an elephant is an elephant, then why on earth can't a horse be a horses... honestly, it just doesn't work that way, does it? It simply isn't possible 😁

Drew Johnson2 said:I’m facing a bit of a dilemma this year regarding my son’s school enrollment, and frankly, I am at a complete loss as to what the right move is... He’s been in speech therapy for three years now, dealing with a developmental language disorder diagnosis. For a long time, it really showed in how he struggled with grammar—we finally managed to get a handle on gendered nouns, but he still trips over his cases quite frequently. His sentences tend to be rather clipped, and his ability to retell stories is a major struggle; we are still wrestling with concepts like yesterday, today, and tomorrow... If today is Friday, he can easily tell you Tuesday is four days away, but if I ask him what he did yesterday, he’ll just tell me what he did this morning...
His focus is actually quite remarkable; his therapist mentioned she rarely sees a child with these specific challenges who possesses such an intense level of concentration... He has mastered analysis and synthesis, can read simpler sentences, and handles addition and subtraction up to 100, as well as multiplication, without much trouble.
On top of that, he is quite emotionally immature for his age, so we are working through that with a child psychologist, and he’s started some sports to help build up his self-confidence...

Now, here is where the conflict lies: his private speech therapist is strongly advocating for him to delay starting kindergarten. She believes that having one more year will make a massive difference, particularly regarding his emotional maturity...
However, the therapist at his preschool—who doesn't see him nearly as often since he's already in their specialized program and spends most of his time with other kids—is against delaying him. Her argument is that he’ll need Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) eventually anyway, so one extra year won't change much of the long-term trajectory... but it feels to me like she’s mostly focusing on his chronological age, repeatedly reminding me that if we wait, he’ll be entering first grade as a full eight-year-old...
I find myself leaning heavily toward the opinion of our private therapist, who works with him twice a week and seems to have a far more realistic grasp of his actual capabilities, yet I feel this immense pressure from the preschool staff to align with the institutional view... They keep bringing up his age as if it were the only metric that matters...
I truly don't know... I can't help but feel it might be less damaging to let him start school at eight than to push him in now only to have him feel completely overwhelmed and crushed by the workload right out of the gate...
I suppose we will all go through the standard testing process soon, and then the school district will weigh in with their own assessment, but I would dearly love to have my own stance firmly established by then... though, honestly, I haven't the slightest clue what the smartest path forward actually is...

A speech therapist who has been working with him for three years definitely knows his progress much better than a preschool therapist who isn't even seeing him.
I really feel like parents can get a much clearer picture of what their child needs to work on over the next seven months than a school doctor or a specialist can during a quick fifteen-minute checkup at a local elementary school. Even though those professionals ultimately make the final call—and you can certainly disagree with them by bringing in outside specialist reports—it still feels like we have a much deeper understanding of our kids' daily progress.

If we’re talking strictly about emotional maturity—or the lack thereof—that isn't really something a speech therapist should be handling. At most, a specialist might be able to describe how a child processes emotions when they're facing a difficult or high-pressure situation they've created themselves. But that doesn't necessarily mean the kid will act that way around their friends at school. In my experience, parents are much better equipped to navigate those emotional waters. Then you have preschool teachers and daycare providers, though the real question is how objective they can actually be. It's tough to stay neutral when there's pressure from management to clear out spots just to make room for new enrollments.
If you decide to go through with the evaluation, you can actually bring along any reports from a child psychologist your little one is already seeing. It’s super helpful to have that extra context on hand. Plus, it gives the specialists a great chance to observe how your kiddo reacts to meeting new people and navigating an unfamiliar environment. It really helps paint the full picture!

Ovak na nevidjeno:
I feel like this whole retelling thing could get pretty problematic, especially if the kid ends up spending time in after-school care. Everything else seems totally manageable, though!
First off, you’ve still got seven months to go. Plus, let's be honest—some things are just built through life experience and navigating different situations as you grow. What's one more year in preschool really going to do for a kid who's already mastering synthesis and analysis, reading simple sentences, and handling addition and multiplication?

When you're trying to figure out which school is the right fit, I always think it's best to look at where your child stands right now. It’s about looking ahead at the next year or two and asking: what specific skills are they still working on? Once you identify those gaps, you can see which program actually offers the tools and the environment to help them master those particular skills. It really comes down to finding that perfect match between what they need to learn and what the school can provide.
It seems pretty straightforward to me: you really need to sit down and have some serious conversations with both his private speech therapist and his preschool team. With the specialist, you should be looking at a concrete roadmap for everything you’ll be working on over the next 19 months. On the school side, you need to pin down exactly where he can thrive during these next seven months. If he ends up staying for another year of preschool, what specific support will he get from the program? For instance, if he needs extra help navigating social situations or mastering emotional self-regulation, how is that going to work if the school isn't fully on board? Especially if there's a total staff shuffle coming up next year with new teachers in the classroom.
That’s all something you really need to clear up with them.

Honestly, his age isn't the biggest hurdle right now—especially since classrooms are increasingly mixing kids in the 6 to 8-year-old range—and being a boy helps a little too (being a bit taller isn't exactly a disadvantage!). The real concern is when those developmental gaps start showing up during puberty. That's when things can get much more intense once everyone starts hitting those teenage years.

Susan James said:A speech therapist who has been working with him for three years definitely knows his progress much better than a preschool therapist who isn't even seeing him.
I really feel like parents can get a much clearer picture of what their child needs to work on over the next seven months than a school doctor or a specialist can during a quick fifteen-minute checkup at a local elementary school. Even though those professionals ultimately make the final call—and you can certainly disagree with them by bringing in outside specialist reports—it still feels like we have a much deeper understanding of our kids' daily progress.

If we’re talking strictly about emotional maturity—or the lack thereof—that isn't really something a speech therapist should be handling. At most, a specialist might be able to describe how a child processes emotions when they're facing a difficult or high-pressure situation they've created themselves. But that doesn't necessarily mean the kid will act that way around their friends at school. In my experience, parents are much better equipped to navigate those emotional waters. Then you have preschool teachers and daycare providers, though the real question is how objective they can actually be. It's tough to stay neutral when there's pressure from management to clear out spots just to make room for new enrollments.
If you decide to go through with the evaluation, you can actually bring along any reports from a child psychologist your little one is already seeing. It’s super helpful to have that extra context on hand. Plus, it gives the specialists a great chance to observe how your kiddo reacts to meeting new people and navigating an unfamiliar environment. It really helps paint the full picture!

Ovak na nevidjeno:
I feel like this whole retelling thing could get pretty problematic, especially if the kid ends up spending time in after-school care. Everything else seems totally manageable, though!
First off, you’ve still got seven months to go. Plus, let's be honest—some things are just built through life experience and navigating different situations as you grow. What's one more year in preschool really going to do for a kid who's already mastering synthesis and analysis, reading simple sentences, and handling addition and multiplication?

When you're trying to figure out which school is the right fit, I always think it's best to look at where your child stands right now. It’s about looking ahead at the next year or two and asking: what specific skills are they still working on? Once you identify those gaps, you can see which program actually offers the tools and the environment to help them master those particular skills. It really comes down to finding that perfect match between what they need to learn and what the school can provide.
It seems pretty straightforward to me: you really need to sit down and have some serious conversations with both his private speech therapist and his preschool team. With the specialist, you should be looking at a concrete roadmap for everything you’ll be working on over the next 19 months. On the school side, you need to pin down exactly where he can thrive during these next seven months. If he ends up staying for another year of preschool, what specific support will he get from the program? For instance, if he needs extra help navigating social situations or mastering emotional self-regulation, how is that going to work if the school isn't fully on board? Especially if there's a total staff shuffle coming up next year with new teachers in the classroom.
That’s all something you really need to clear up with them.

Honestly, his age isn't the biggest hurdle right now—especially since classrooms are increasingly mixing kids in the 6 to 8-year-old range—and being a boy helps a little too (being a bit taller isn't exactly a disadvantage!). The real concern is when those developmental gaps start showing up during puberty. That's when things can get much more intense once everyone starts hitting those teenage years.

Exactly this. If the child gets a deferral, will they actually benefit from their current surroundings—like their daycare center—enough during that extra year to be truly "school-ready"? A speech therapist can't fully gauge emotional maturity—they can maybe see how a kid reacts to failure when a task gets tough, or how much grit they show when trying to master something, but that's about it.
It’s honestly a waste of time to keep a kid in daycare for another year if they’ve already checked all the boxes there—and I don't just mean academics, but all those social milestones kids pick up in a group setting.
As for the language struggles and the retelling issues, you’ve got seven months until the school year starts. Look at the pace of progress so far—that should give you a decent roadmap of whether those seven months will be enough to turn things around. And hey, if you find a great teacher, sometimes enrolling them in school is actually what triggers that next level of linguistic development and emotional growth.

Drew Johnson2 said:He really struggles to ask for help—even from me... I’ve been working with a speech therapist for months just trying to get him to the point where he can say, "I don't know how to do this," instead of just freezing up and letting the tears well up in his eyes. At preschool, he's in a mixed-age group, and he tends to gravitate toward the younger kids or the little girls his age because his teacher mentions he has a hard time keeping up with the boys... they tend to pick on him for being a bit more sensitive or "babyish," and then he just retreats into himself.
If he hits a snag with something—and let's be honest, things go wrong quite often—he won't give up, he's incredibly stubborn about that, but everything is inevitably accompanied by a lot of crying.
We must have played about 5,000 rounds of Uno at home just trying to teach him how to lose without a complete meltdown...

On the other hand, he's quite independent in some ways; he goes to the corner store by himself, strikes up conversations with the cashier, handles the recycling, and walks to the trash bin without any trouble since it's right there on our street. He's perfectly fine staying home alone while I run errands. However, he won't just approach a group of kids he doesn't know to start playing; he's much more passive, waiting for someone else to invite him in.
Following a recommendation from his psychologist, he recently started an individual combat sports program, and I can see the coach making a real effort to praise him... he comes home from practice looking so happy, almost as if he's finally starting to find a bit of self-confidence.

It's like a perfect description of my little guy. 😁
The best word would be "babyish."
We actually held off on kindergarten for a bit because of his emotional maturity; he started at 8 years and 3 months, and I'm pretty sure it was the right call. He's still seeing a speech therapist and doing martial arts too. Like he says, "I'm the biggest one here, so nobody picks on me."

There is one thing the psychologist pointed out—something I hadn’t actually voiced yet—and it really gets to the heart of our current dilemma... she suggested that since there is a 99% chance we will be relocating somewhere else in about a year, it might not be in his best interest to switch schools right this second. We could very well stumble upon the absolute perfect teacher this semester, but honestly, I have no idea if staying at this school will even be feasible for us once we move... it all hinges entirely on just how far away our new home ends up being.

Honestly, don't overthink it—if there's any way you can hold off on starting school this year, just do it. Once a kid gets sucked into the American public school system, everyone starts piling on these massive expectations, right? And let's be real, hardly anyone actually stops to check if the kid is even mentally or emotionally ready for the grind.
A whole year makes a massive difference for a child, especially if you use that time to really roll up your sleeves and work through whatever hurdles they're facing.

And look, keep this in mind: elementary school is supposed to be the foundation where kids actually learn *how* to learn and tackle new stuff. But so many kids end up getting totally lost in the shuffle for all sorts of reasons, which just knocks them off their path toward what they’re actually passionate about. That's why it's so crucial not to push them into the deep end before they've even learned how to swim.

Honestly, just because a kid can read, write, and do basic math doesn't mean they're ready to jump into elementary school. If we're talking about delaying enrollment, those academic skills are minor details. It’s more about how they handle the grind of first grade—it can be incredibly boring if they aren't mentally there yet.

You need a different kind of maturity for school. We're talking about meeting deadlines, sitting through lessons, actually following along...

I’ve got one just like that. Speech therapist, martial arts, throwing tantrums and tears whenever things don't go his way—it's practically the same script. 😬

We decided to hold off on starting school early; he spent two years in a local preschool instead. Even in first grade, he was still obsessing over minor details and looping through the same stories over and over. You'd think the lockdown would have sorted everything out, but honestly, I was at my wits' end while he seemed to use that one-on-one time to finally settle into himself.

He’s in fourth grade now and the issues are gone. Being a year older isn't an issue. Him being the tallest kid in class (which he probably would've been anyway, lol) isn't an issue either. Delaying it was definitely the right call for us. 😉

It’s honestly such a relief to hear that things are smoothing out. How long was he working with the speech therapist?
I can't help but wonder, though—do you think his speech will ever fully catch up, or will there always be a bit of a lingering pattern there?

He was seeing a private speech therapist through the end of second grade, and he’s still hitting up the school specialist once a week.

We've noticed that he occasionally misinterprets exam questions simply because his vocabulary isn't quite there yet. Now, we quiz him on the exact definition of every single word—it's basically our way of dealing with the lingering effects of the issue.

Thankfully, given the circumstances, he's incredibly extroverted. He’s always had this deep need to be understood, to fit in, and to not be the butt of the joke. He used to get genuinely angry and frustrated when people couldn't follow him; he really tried. Honestly, it breaks my heart when we just don't get him. 🙄

But I vividly remember that sinking feeling that he would never catch up—take the movies, for example.
I probably took him to see cartoons every single weekend. We started back when he wasn't even speaking, just mumbling things, then moving up to telling me who his favorite character was. Years later, discussing what was funniest... I truly thought we’d never reach the point where he could actually give a coherent summary of what he just watched. But we did. Hang in there; you aren't alone. 🙂