Is everyone just becoming more selfish these days?

Michelle Rodriguez said:Be selfish when no one is watching, but act selfless when the spotlight is on. We have to consider social perception because that's exactly what defines "what is better for the individual." Every person is also a unique entity capable of finding satisfaction in how society views them.

I assume we're talking about general altruism rather than how we treat our inner circle. If that's the case, in today's world, it feels like selfless equals naive plus foolish. It’s unfortunate. There are far too many people who won't appreciate your kindness and will gladly stab you in the back the moment they need something from you.

Spot on. 😁 It really depends on the crowd you hang out with in your neck of the woods, but individually, we're all just chasing our own wins, satisfaction, and progress.

There used to be this saying that the crazy and the kind are brothers. I feel the same way about selflessness—honestly, anyone with a decent sense of self-worth is probably more valuable than someone who's just being selfless to mask deep insecurities.

Why does this happen? There are plenty of reasons—how parents raised us, feeling like an outcast during school years, or just getting burned by dating.😁

Money plays such a massive role in everything, too. Once money enters a circle of friends, those friendships usually vanish—though, let's be real, they probably weren't even real to begin with. 🤣 Money just gave them a reason to stop pretending.

And then there's that whole "survival of the fittest" vibe that runs through society.

hiddenhawk3 said:I think being selfish is actually healthier, I guess.🤷

You can't really love someone else if you haven't learned how to love yourself and set boundaries first.🤷

A person can't just keep giving, otherwise they'll probably burn out way too fast.🤷

I feel like being selfish is actually the healthier route, because nothing beats that self-love feeling. Everything else should be based on what people earn.😁 If you don't have some Schengen-level security in your own life, you just end up getting walked all over.

Selfishness might get a bad rap, but 😁 it's what drives us—it gives you that edge, that competitive spark, and actual strength. Being naive just keeps you stuck exactly where you started.

I suspect someone who is purely selfless had to go through some rough stuff to become that way. You've got bad people who act selfless just to quiet their conscience, but I think those types are usually just indifferent or depressed—it’s like trying to hold onto sand as it slips through your fingers.

It's just human nature, really—once we see an opportunity to gain something, we want to squeeze every bit of potential out of it.

Take me, for example—growing up with older siblings meant there was always this constant competition to get my fair share, even when I was just a kid. I always made sure to look out for my own interests. They were all competing against each other, too.

The real issue is when everything comes too easy... you lose that drive to fight, whether it's for survival, status, or social standing. It makes things way too effortless.

ambersailor85 said:Not sure where I picked this up, but it’s a killer metaphor for how society works today—even if it feels like an old fable from somewhere out East.

Basically, some higher power decides that when you pass away, you head to a place that looks like a dining room filled with every delicious meal imaginable. The rule is simple: once you've eaten, you get to indulge in whatever your heart desires next—whether that's just lounging around, chasing romance, or whatever else—and the cycle just repeats every day. It doesn't matter if you were a saint or a sinner; everyone goes to the same place. The only catch? You have to eat using chopsticks that are over six feet long.

Selfish people who end up there can never actually enjoy anything. Their greed drives them to try and grab as much food as possible, but they’ll never succeed because those massive chopsticks make it impossible to grab a bite. On the flip side, generous people will just feed one another and live better than they ever did on Earth.

What’s your take on the people who only care about themselves?

I heard this specific version was used to describe the souls stuck in Hell.

Christians usually know this silly little parable by heart.

Like, is being selfless the *only* thing that makes someone capable or willing to feed another person from two meters away?

Just because I'm selfish doesn't mean I lose my ability to handle those two-meter rods (and let's call them rods, not chopsticks, they're way too big for that). If I take one end, I could just let the food drop into my mouth from a height of plus two meters (maybe something just flies right in; is there a breeze or what?) and I wouldn't even need to hold the other end. Being selfish doesn't automatically make you stupid; I could find a much more efficient way to eat.

For all I know, why couldn't I just threaten to beat someone over the head with my rods if they didn't feed me?
Man, these simple little stories... reminds me of some nonsense my elementary school teacher used to tell us about faith. "When you cross the street, you lead with faith that you'll make it." Yeah, really! I thought you checked left and right first, which is leading with actual knowledge.

"Souls in Hell"? And "What do you think about people who only care about themselves?" — please. If people like that actually existed, the world wouldn't be such a black-and-white way of thinking.

Peter Phillips32 said:Christians usually know this silly little parable by heart.

Like, is being selfless the *only* thing that makes someone capable or willing to feed another person from two meters away?

Just because I'm selfish doesn't mean I lose my ability to handle those two-meter rods (and let's call them rods, not chopsticks, they're way too big for that). If I take one end, I could just let the food drop into my mouth from a height of plus two meters (maybe something just flies right in; is there a breeze or what?) and I wouldn't even need to hold the other end. Being selfish doesn't automatically make you stupid; I could find a much more efficient way to eat.

For all I know, why couldn't I just threaten to beat someone over the head with my rods if they didn't feed me?
Man, these simple little stories... reminds me of some nonsense my elementary school teacher used to tell us about faith. "When you cross the street, you lead with faith that you'll make it." Yeah, really! I thought you checked left and right first, which is leading with actual knowledge.

"Souls in Hell"? And "What do you think about people who only care about themselves?" — please. If people like that actually existed, the world wouldn't be such a black-and-white way of thinking.

Technically, you could just put the food on the ground; you won't poison yourself, even if you're stuck in eternal chambers. 😁 But I guess that would ruin the dignity of a person eating off the floor. Any kind of dropping or landing stuff carries a stigma of being rude, regardless of what religion you follow—eating like an animal is pretty much a universal flaw.
It makes it seem like the only way to keep your dignity is to feed each other. If you're dropping stuff from a height, you're definitely going to get messy, and the food ends up hitting dirty ground.

What about sandwiches or fast food? We don't eat those with spoons. 🤣
Does that mean opening a McDonald's or a Burger King somehow invalidates religious beliefs? 😉

Selfishness has basically become a lifestyle brand these days.
When people start preaching that being selfish is actually a virtue, it’s honestly like they’re saying Big Brother is the ultimate life coach.

If you want to understand how we got to this level of narcissism in the 20th century, there isn't a better breakdown than this:
The Century of the Self

Seriously, go watch it along with the rest of Adam Curtis's documentaries. You won't regret spending the time.

It's a long one—I think it's listed at about 240 minutes—but hey, the whole thing is sitting right there on YouTube for free.

ambersailor85 said:Technically, you could just put the food on the ground; you won't poison yourself, even if you're stuck in eternal chambers. 😁 But I guess that would ruin the dignity of a person eating off the floor. Any kind of dropping or landing stuff carries a stigma of being rude, regardless of what religion you follow—eating like an animal is pretty much a universal flaw.
It makes it seem like the only way to keep your dignity is to feed each other. If you're dropping stuff from a height, you're definitely going to get messy, and the food ends up hitting dirty ground.

What about sandwiches or fast food? We don't eat those with spoons. 🤣
Does that mean opening a McDonald's or a Burger King somehow invalidates religious beliefs? 😉

Are you seriously trying to sell me this "wisdom" or just making stuff up as you go?

But I guess then you'd be stripping away the dignity of a man who eats off the ground.

Honestly, since I clean my floors pretty often, I end up eating most of the stuff that falls down anyway. And frankly, I couldn't care less what you think about my "dignity."

Any kind of dropping or wasting food carries a mark of rudeness, regardless of which faith you follow.

That has absolutely nothing to do with being part of some organized group or whatever "religious affiliation" you're clinging to, so since you're such an expert, why don't you go ahead and name one single religion where they explicitly state that "dropping food" is a specific mark of rudeness?

unrefined eating is somehow a universal flaw.

You clearly don't grasp what you're saying if you think culture is this universal thing, so either you actually believe "unrefined eating is a universal flaw," or you're just such a massive egoist that you've decided every messy eater in existence is a universal failure?

Watch out you don't pass gas near yourself, especially while you're eating...

It turns out the only way to preserve your dignity is by feeding someone else, and having them feed you.

That doesn't "turn out" to be true; it's just a nonsense theory you cook up when your logic is failing and you have to start inventing fluff to fill the gaps.

If you drop things from a height, you'll surely make a mess and the food lands on unclean ground.

I don't mind getting messy, and neither does the "absolute being." In fact, he actually appreciates my resourcefulness. It’s only you—and just you—who gets bothered by getting messy while eating or having food land on "non-sterile" ground.

What about sandwiches or fast food products? We don't eat those with a spoon. 🤣

Who is "we"? Speak for yourself.

So, does opening up a new McDonald's or a Burger King actually kill off traditional beliefs or something? 😉

Good grief, here we go again with another one who thinks just playing the system is some kind of substitute for actually using their brain... 🤦

ambersailor85 said:I feel like being selfish is actually the healthier route, because nothing beats that self-love feeling. Everything else should be based on what people earn.😁 If you don't have some Schengen-level security in your own life, you just end up getting walked all over.

Selfishness might get a bad rap, but 😁 it's what drives us—it gives you that edge, that competitive spark, and actual strength. Being naive just keeps you stuck exactly where you started.

I suspect someone who is purely selfless had to go through some rough stuff to become that way. You've got bad people who act selfless just to quiet their conscience, but I think those types are usually just indifferent or depressed—it’s like trying to hold onto sand as it slips through your fingers.

It's just human nature, really—once we see an opportunity to gain something, we want to squeeze every bit of potential out of it.

Take me, for example—growing up with older siblings meant there was always this constant competition to get my fair share, even when I was just a kid. I always made sure to look out for my own interests. They were all competing against each other, too.

The real issue is when everything comes too easy... you lose that drive to fight, whether it's for survival, status, or social standing. It makes things way too effortless.

selfishness and self-love aren't even remotely the same thing

you sound pretty Americanized (in a bad way)

Pashko 👍

p.s. it shows you're the youngest sibling, but that's not a bad thing, you just didn't learn the lesson yet 😉

...just a few more thoughts on being selfish...

Roger Nelson5 said:Selfishness has basically become a lifestyle brand these days.
When people start preaching that being selfish is actually a virtue, it’s honestly like they’re saying Big Brother is the ultimate life coach.

If you want to understand how we got to this level of narcissism in the 20th century, there isn't a better breakdown than this:
The Century of the Self

Seriously, go watch it along with the rest of Adam Curtis's documentaries. You won't regret spending the time.

It's a long one—I think it's listed at about 240 minutes—but hey, the whole thing is sitting right there on YouTube for free.

Nowadays, people pretty much equate being selfish with having ambition or "positive" stubbornness. 🙂

Peter Phillips32 said:Are you seriously trying to sell me this "wisdom" or just making stuff up as you go?

But I guess then you'd be stripping away the dignity of a man who eats off the ground.

Honestly, since I clean my floors pretty often, I end up eating most of the stuff that falls down anyway. And frankly, I couldn't care less what you think about my "dignity."

Any kind of dropping or wasting food carries a mark of rudeness, regardless of which faith you follow.

That has absolutely nothing to do with being part of some organized group or whatever "religious affiliation" you're clinging to, so since you're such an expert, why don't you go ahead and name one single religion where they explicitly state that "dropping food" is a specific mark of rudeness?

unrefined eating is somehow a universal flaw.

You clearly don't grasp what you're saying if you think culture is this universal thing, so either you actually believe "unrefined eating is a universal flaw," or you're just such a massive egoist that you've decided every messy eater in existence is a universal failure?

Watch out you don't pass gas near yourself, especially while you're eating...

It turns out the only way to preserve your dignity is by feeding someone else, and having them feed you.

That doesn't "turn out" to be true; it's just a nonsense theory you cook up when your logic is failing and you have to start inventing fluff to fill the gaps.

If you drop things from a height, you'll surely make a mess and the food lands on unclean ground.

I don't mind getting messy, and neither does the "absolute being." In fact, he actually appreciates my resourcefulness. It’s only you—and just you—who gets bothered by getting messy while eating or having food land on "non-sterile" ground.

What about sandwiches or fast food products? We don't eat those with a spoon. 🤣

Who is "we"? Speak for yourself.

So, does opening up a new McDonald's or a Burger King actually kill off traditional beliefs or something? 😉

Good grief, here we go again with another one who thinks just playing the system is some kind of substitute for actually using their brain... 🤦

A lot of religions talk about wastefulness—you eat properly at the table, with family, without making a circus out of your meal. Religions always teach that there are people out there who aren't lucky enough to have a meal at all.

Rude eating is definitely bad manners, just like anything else you do while eating—like burping or smacking your lips.

Drew Flores3 said:selfishness and self-love aren't even remotely the same thing

you sound pretty Americanized (in a bad way)

Pashko 👍

p.s. it shows you're the youngest sibling, but that's not a bad thing, you just didn't learn the lesson yet 😉

What makes you think I'm "Americanized"? And honestly, what's so bad about being the youngest in my family?

I'd say there's actually a huge connection between selfishness and self-love—especially when you look at it through that materialistic lens.

Drew Flores3 said:...just a few more thoughts on being selfish...

Owners are always looking out for themselves—they just want their own entertainment. They don't give a damn about a poor kitty who’s gonna be spending the night all alone. 😢

ambersailor85 said:What makes you think I'm "Americanized"? And honestly, what's so bad about being the youngest in my family?

I'd say there's actually a huge connection between selfishness and self-love—especially when you look at it through that materialistic lens.

based on how you see things
there’s really nothing wrong with it, provided you learn something from it

ambersailor85 said:What makes you think I'm "Americanized"? And honestly, what's so bad about being the youngest in my family?

I'd say there's actually a huge connection between selfishness and self-love—especially when you look at it through that materialistic lens.

.....my bad, I thought we were talking about spiritual stuff, and this materialistic angle totally flies over my head, sorry

ambersailor85 said:Owners are always looking out for themselves—they just want their own entertainment. They don't give a damn about a poor kitty who’s gonna be spending the night all alone. 😢

I mean, it's kind of his own fault if he doesn't want to go out... "total couch potato."

p.s. I absolutely adore cats. I've had three come my way over the years, and last summer, three of them decided to move into my pantry! So right now, I've got one energetic guy (about 3 years old), plus a brother and sister duo who are only a year old. They are definitely going to take over the whole neighborhood soon. 👍

Drew Flores3 said:based on how you see things
there’s really nothing wrong with it, provided you learn something from it

.....my bad, I thought we were talking about spiritual stuff, and this materialistic angle totally flies over my head, sorry

What's even the alternative to that typical American worldview? And what does that actually look like?

Drew Flores3 said:I mean, it's kind of his own fault if he doesn't want to go out... "total couch potato."

p.s. I absolutely adore cats. I've had three come my way over the years, and last summer, three of them decided to move into my pantry! So right now, I've got one energetic guy (about 3 years old), plus a brother and sister duo who are only a year old. They are definitely going to take over the whole neighborhood soon. 👍

Cats are pretty cool too—I had a kitten once but he disappeared 😢 He had this cough and stuff, so I'm not sure what happened, probably didn't make it since he hated being out on the street. 😢 He was such a trip, though. Used to set little ambushes and pounce on me all the time when he was tiny. 🙂

ambersailor85 said:What's even the alternative to that typical American worldview? And what does that actually look like?

It doesn't include anything. Honestly, it's built entirely on leaving people out! 👍

see u soon

Drew Flores3 said:It doesn't include anything. Honestly, it's built entirely on leaving people out! 👍

see u soon

So how do you handle that exclusion phase? Like, does it just mean being indifferent? 🙂

ambersailor85 said:Spot on. 😁 It really depends on the crowd you hang out with in your neck of the woods, but individually, we're all just chasing our own wins, satisfaction, and progress.

There used to be this saying that the crazy and the kind are brothers. I feel the same way about selflessness—honestly, anyone with a decent sense of self-worth is probably more valuable than someone who's just being selfless to mask deep insecurities.

Why does this happen? There are plenty of reasons—how parents raised us, feeling like an outcast during school years, or just getting burned by dating.😁

Money plays such a massive role in everything, too. Once money enters a circle of friends, those friendships usually vanish—though, let's be real, they probably weren't even real to begin with. 🤣 Money just gave them a reason to stop pretending.

And then there's that whole "survival of the fittest" vibe that runs through society.

+

ambersailor85 said:I feel like being selfish is actually the healthier route, because nothing beats that self-love feeling. Everything else should be based on what people earn.😁 If you don't have some Schengen-level security in your own life, you just end up getting walked all over.

Selfishness might get a bad rap, but 😁 it's what drives us—it gives you that edge, that competitive spark, and actual strength. Being naive just keeps you stuck exactly where you started.

I suspect someone who is purely selfless had to go through some rough stuff to become that way. You've got bad people who act selfless just to quiet their conscience, but I think those types are usually just indifferent or depressed—it’s like trying to hold onto sand as it slips through your fingers.

It's just human nature, really—once we see an opportunity to gain something, we want to squeeze every bit of potential out of it.

Take me, for example—growing up with older siblings meant there was always this constant competition to get my fair share, even when I was just a kid. I always made sure to look out for my own interests. They were all competing against each other, too.

The real issue is when everything comes too easy... you lose that drive to fight, whether it's for survival, status, or social standing. It makes things way too effortless.

So, do you think selfless people should see a therapist? It seems to me 🤣
btw, I don't think anyone actually fits perfectly into a box; nobody is entirely selfish or entirely selfless all the time, it’s just that our actions lean one way or the other more than others.

I think it's healthier to be selfish, because nothing beats loving yourself.

Drew Flores3 already pointed this out, but it's worth repeating... selfishness and self-love aren't the same thing, so you can't just use them interchangeably.

ambersailor85 said:Technically, you could just put the food on the ground; you won't poison yourself, even if you're stuck in eternal chambers. 😁 But I guess that would ruin the dignity of a person eating off the floor. Any kind of dropping or landing stuff carries a stigma of being rude, regardless of what religion you follow—eating like an animal is pretty much a universal flaw.
It makes it seem like the only way to keep your dignity is to feed each other. If you're dropping stuff from a height, you're definitely going to get messy, and the food ends up hitting dirty ground.

What about sandwiches or fast food? We don't eat those with spoons. 🤣
Does that mean opening a McDonald's or a Burger King somehow invalidates religious beliefs? 😉

I wouldn't exactly call it dignified, shoving food into someone else's mouth with some two-meter "stick"—so honestly, any talk about maintaining dignity just goes right out the window.
And it all just boils down to that same old tired conversation about how to grab a quick bite and get moving as fast as possible.

ambersailor85 said:A lot of religions talk about wastefulness—you eat properly at the table, with family, without making a circus out of your meal. Religions always teach that there are people out there who aren't lucky enough to have a meal at all.

Rude eating is definitely bad manners, just like anything else you do while eating—like burping or smacking your lips.

Yeah, they love lecturing you like it’s some groundbreaking revelation, when really you just need to open your eyes and look around. I remember back in the day, my parents used to practically chase us around the table just to make sure we actually ate enough, always bringing up how kids were starving in Biafra.

Besides just teaching... what exactly are they doing? Are they actually sacrificing anything to feed the hungry, or do they just not have sticks long enough to reach them? 🤷

ambersailor85 said:What's even the alternative to that typical American worldview? And what does that actually look like?

Where did you hide your checkmarks? 😕