What are the key differences between male and female pedophiles?

Well, I’m still dealing with the fallout from my first time with a girl who was also a virgin... ever since then, I tend to give virgins a very wide berth. 😁

I feel the same way, though I’m certainly not trying to make up for lost time by chasing after girls who aren't even out of middle school yet—let alone high school

Ethan Martinez6 said:I guess I just don't really get it, like, I'm 29 and I honestly couldn't tell you what kind of 15-year-old would even catch my eye, but seriously, if they still have baby faces and those skinny kid builds, there's just zero chance for me 🙂

I'm no expert on the legal definition of pedophilia, but I mean, people carry scars from dating someone in their early 20s, let alone having been involved with a 14-year-old!!??!

First off, attraction isn't just about physical appearance.
I don't see why "consequences" couldn't actually be positive in certain scenarios—just like I don't see why intentions couldn't be good. Not all cases are cut from the same cloth.
For instance, you have kids losing their innocence with sex workers around those ages.

Or, I don't know... child stars. Like Radcliffe. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...Radcliffe.html

Look, let’s be real: there is absolutely no difference between a male or female pedophile. This isn't just about sex; it's about the massive power imbalance between two people in a relationship. You have one person who is significantly more emotionally and physically mature, someone who can easily manipulate a younger individual, who is financially independent (whereas a minor can't even get a 🤷), and who has clear life goals and views sex much more casually than a thirteen-year-old, for whom everything feels like life or death. 🤣

I’m pretty sensitive about this topic, and honestly, it’s one of the few things that can actually make me lose my cool. I know why, too. It’s because the thought of stripping away a child's innocence is just devastating. To me, it’s pure violence, regardless of who is doing it or how they justify it.

Besides, it’s common knowledge that even if you’re generally bad at dating men or women, it’s always easiest to just find some kid to manipulate.

Here’s a bit of something I came across—"lost my virginity at 13 to an older woman": http://www.experienceproject.com/sto...y-At-14/160505
If you actually buy the story, it seems to have passed without any lasting trauma.

It seems like guys who specifically target younger girls clearly struggle to satisfy 🙂 older, more experienced women.
On the other hand, I have eyes 🙂 and I haven’t once seen a "girl" where I thought she was at least 19 or 20—you look at the guys hanging out with her and realize she’s still just a kid...

So... can we really blame an older guy if he hits on someone like that? If he honestly doesn't realize he's talking to a 15 or 16-year-old because she looks older than she actually is?
Who among us can say they've never had a crush on a high schooler?
Look, having a crush is one thing, but cheating is another. Let me give you a real example... a few years ago while on vacation at the coast with some friends, this girl walked up toward our spot on the beach (we could tell by the group she was with). The five of us all agreed she was easily the most stunning person we'd seen all summer.
To be fair, none of us even considered making a move, regardless of how beautiful or well-endowed she was, mainly because she was clearly just a kid... but we all also agreed that if she were to approach one of us "on her own" without any provocation, we wouldn't turn her down—especially after a few beers. Does that make the five of us crazy? Pedophiles?

silentpilot6 said:It seems like guys who specifically target younger girls clearly struggle to satisfy 🙂 older, more experienced women.
On the other hand, I have eyes 🙂 and I haven’t once seen a "girl" where I thought she was at least 19 or 20—you look at the guys hanging out with her and realize she’s still just a kid...

So... can we really blame an older guy if he hits on someone like that? If he honestly doesn't realize he's talking to a 15 or 16-year-old because she looks older than she actually is?
Who among us can say they've never had a crush on a high schooler?
Look, having a crush is one thing, but cheating is another. Let me give you a real example... a few years ago while on vacation at the coast with some friends, this girl walked up toward our spot on the beach (we could tell by the group she was with). The five of us all agreed she was easily the most stunning person we'd seen all summer.
To be fair, none of us even considered making a move, regardless of how beautiful or well-endowed she was, mainly because she was clearly just a kid... but we all also agreed that if she were to approach one of us "on her own" without any provocation, we wouldn't turn her down—especially after a few beers. Does that make the five of us crazy? Pedophiles?

The law won't throw you in jail if the girl is over 14 and goes along with it voluntarily.
Still, plenty of people would judge you for it.

So there you have it 🤷—sleep with her and feel like garbage? Risk ruining someone's life? I don't know. Personally, I’d turn her down even if I were drunk, but I wouldn't judge anyone else who passed, depending on the situation.

silentpilot6, I guess you're just dealing with the fallout because you were basically a kid forced into adult situations way too early... and please, don't come at me with links about those random celebrities and their tragic life stories... I mean, I was just reading recently that Simone was supposedly sleeping her way to the top for some guy and she’s totally fine with it!??!
But I mean, surely nobody actually bought into that, right?

vividorca9 said:Look, let’s be real: there is absolutely no difference between a male or female pedophile. This isn't just about sex; it's about the massive power imbalance between two people in a relationship. You have one person who is significantly more emotionally and physically mature, someone who can easily manipulate a younger individual, who is financially independent (whereas a minor can't even get a 🤷), and who has clear life goals and views sex much more casually than a thirteen-year-old, for whom everything feels like life or death. 🤣

I’m pretty sensitive about this topic, and honestly, it’s one of the few things that can actually make me lose my cool. I know why, too. It’s because the thought of stripping away a child's innocence is just devastating. To me, it’s pure violence, regardless of who is doing it or how they justify it.

Besides, it’s common knowledge that even if you’re generally bad at dating men or women, it’s always easiest to just find some kid to manipulate.

So how is that actually any different from 90% of the relationships out there?

Look, silentpilot6, it’s a bit of a mess, isn't it?
Once your eyesight starts to go, there comes a point where you just can't tell the difference between a 12-year-old, a 15-year-old, or a 30-year-old anymore.
😁
You basically just whisper a quiet "thank you, Lord" and then grab whatever happens to stumble right in front of you.
🙂
(It is pretty funny, though, how women in their 50s or 60s somehow manage to dodge those kinds of mistakes entirely.)

For all of you who think they’d be rejected... let me just say you haven't seen 😁.
It’s easy to sit behind a computer screen and play the moral authority 😉
In the end, what is the point of such an attitude and this constant outcry about some kind of wrongdoing... one way or another?
A stunning girl who initiates things because she wants to sleep with you—she surely wouldn't face any consequences afterward (assuming safe sex is practiced 😁), because clearly, she's done it before, and she'll do it again.

And the idea that I should wait for her to stumble into me... well, a few months ago at a Duraglaze, some visibly drunk girl approached me. First, there was some rambling (to be honest, she was saying something to me but I didn't catch it 😬), then she hugged me... do you know what I did? I pulled away from her, only to see her making out with someone else, also quite an older guy, ten minutes later...

So... why lie? If some "temptress" hit on me at the beach and I said I was single... damn it... I'm telling you, before the waves of judgment start and people say "I could never do that"... you haven't seen her. Honestly, if you saw her hanging out with older crowds (not kids—I assume peers) and looking with perfectly clear eyes 😁, you wouldn't give her less than 19 or 20.

That is my point... there are situations and then there are "situations," girls and then there are certain types of "girls"... I'd bet that certain 15 or 16-year-olds have more sexual experience than most women who are ten years older. I don't consider it desirable or good, but you can't claim it doesn't exist or that it's a total rarity.

Many people have this image in their heads of some old, lecherous creep trying to lure innocent young girls with something like a candy bar 😬 but reality can be the complete opposite, and often is... you need to be aware of that.

granitewolf6 said:So how is that actually any different from 90% of the relationships out there?

How is it not different? Whether people want to admit it or not, if someone is finishing up high school, they're basically hitting their physical peak in their early 20s. Meanwhile, a 13-year-old is still just a kid. And don't even get me started on sex with girls who haven't even hit puberty yet.😱

The psychological gap between a 14-year-old and a 28-year-old woman is massive. There's a huge difference in what she possesses—or should have developed by now—that he hasn't touched yet: a sense of responsibility, thinking about consequences, actual independence, and emotional maturity. I mean, she isn't going to spiral and contemplate self-harm just because her first crush used her for sex...

Then there are the social differences. She’s working, she can drive, she can grab a drink, stay out as late as she wants, and doesn't rely on anyone. She can travel or go to a concert alone without asking permission. He's still in school. He can't even buy a beer at a gas station.😁 He has curfews, he can't go anywhere without an adult present, and he needs parental consent for everything.

Look, my issue is simply that I find it disgusting to see a twelve-year-old girl acting like some hyperactive little rabbit. But hey, I guess I'm just supposed to "adapt to the times."😬

silentpilot6 said:For all of you who think they’d be rejected... let me just say you haven't seen 😁.
It’s easy to sit behind a computer screen and play the moral authority 😉
In the end, what is the point of such an attitude and this constant outcry about some kind of wrongdoing... one way or another?
A stunning girl who initiates things because she wants to sleep with you—she surely wouldn't face any consequences afterward (assuming safe sex is practiced 😁), because clearly, she's done it before, and she'll do it again.

And the idea that I should wait for her to stumble into me... well, a few months ago at a Duraglaze, some visibly drunk girl approached me. First, there was some rambling (to be honest, she was saying something to me but I didn't catch it 😬), then she hugged me... do you know what I did? I pulled away from her, only to see her making out with someone else, also quite an older guy, ten minutes later...

So... why lie? If some "temptress" hit on me at the beach and I said I was single... damn it... I'm telling you, before the waves of judgment start and people say "I could never do that"... you haven't seen her. Honestly, if you saw her hanging out with older crowds (not kids—I assume peers) and looking with perfectly clear eyes 😁, you wouldn't give her less than 19 or 20.

That is my point... there are situations and then there are "situations," girls and then there are certain types of "girls"... I'd bet that certain 15 or 16-year-olds have more sexual experience than most women who are ten years older. I don't consider it desirable or good, but you can't claim it doesn't exist or that it's a total rarity.

Many people have this image in their heads of some old, lecherous creep trying to lure innocent young girls with something like a candy bar 😬 but reality can be the complete opposite, and often is... you need to be aware of that.

Well, you have a point; I haven't actually seen that girl. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had.
To me, girls that age still seemed far too young whenever I actually spoke to them. 🤷
Maybe you'd think differently if you'd gotten to know her better. Or maybe not. 🤷

You're right on the second part, too. It's not like kids just started having sex at 14 or 15 today—especially girls—and it isn't always tied to pedophilia.

vividorca9 said:How is it not different? Whether people want to admit it or not, if someone is finishing up high school, they're basically hitting their physical peak in their early 20s. Meanwhile, a 13-year-old is still just a kid. And don't even get me started on sex with girls who haven't even hit puberty yet.😱

The psychological gap between a 14-year-old and a 28-year-old woman is massive. There's a huge difference in what she possesses—or should have developed by now—that he hasn't touched yet: a sense of responsibility, thinking about consequences, actual independence, and emotional maturity. I mean, she isn't going to spiral and contemplate self-harm just because her first crush used her for sex...

Then there are the social differences. She’s working, she can drive, she can grab a drink, stay out as late as she wants, and doesn't rely on anyone. She can travel or go to a concert alone without asking permission. He's still in school. He can't even buy a beer at a gas station.😁 He has curfews, he can't go anywhere without an adult present, and he needs parental consent for everything.

Look, my issue is simply that I find it disgusting to see a twelve-year-old girl acting like some hyperactive little rabbit. But hey, I guess I'm just supposed to "adapt to the times."😬

Fair point, but honestly, most of this applies just as much to a 28-year-old woman as it does to a 28-year-old guy.

If people actually sat around considering the psychological trauma others go through during sex, we probably wouldn't be having sex at all.

placidranger said:Well, you have a point; I haven't actually seen that girl. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had.
To me, girls that age still seemed far too young whenever I actually spoke to them. 🤷
Maybe you'd think differently if you'd gotten to know her better. Or maybe not. 🤷

You're right on the second part, too. It's not like kids just started having sex at 14 or 15 today—especially girls—and it isn't always tied to pedophilia.

Hmm, who's talking about conversation here? 😬 🤣
Jokes aside... maybe I would, or maybe despite those curves, long legs, and that gorgeous face, I'd just tell her, "Go find someone your own age." Maybe. I can't say for sure because I don't really find myself in those situations (except for that one incident with Dura) and I don't hang out at the clubs where teenagers go, but I won't completely dismiss the possibility—not with total disdain—of potentially giving in 😁 to some stunning 16-year-old who started flirting with me... especially if I were single and hadn't been with anyone for a while. 😁

To be clear, I am strictly talking about a casual hookup in the moment, not any kind of relationship, "dating," 🤣 or anything of the sort.

granitewolf6 said:Fair point, but honestly, most of this applies just as much to a 28-year-old woman as it does to a 28-year-old guy.

If people actually sat around considering the psychological trauma others go through during sex, we probably wouldn't be having sex at all.

I’m not strictly talking about sex here. Fine, let’s put it this way: they hook up, she decides she’s done because she saw it for what it was—just casual—but he falls head over heels because he’s easily swayed. He feels like a man because she told him he’s special, more mature than other guys his age, blah blah blah... You think that doesn't happen? Sure, it happens to women more often, but still. It’s not impossible, and it’s definitely not rare.

Look, I can't stop anyone from doing anything. But if you’re going to sleep with a 15-year-old, the least you can do is be honest about where things stand so nobody gets played. No "you're so special" or "I think I'm falling for you" nonsense if it's just about sex. And it'd be decent if the kid didn't end up feeling discarded or like total trash afterward.🤷

Of course, like I said, everything is relative. We see extremes everywhere, like when bitter moms in the US start crying statutory rape because their 17-year-old daughter slept with a 19 or 20-year-old boyfriend.

BTW, a huge chunk of depression, neurosis, and crimes committed during adolescence gets brushed off as just an "adolescent crisis." That just proves how sensitive this stage of life is and why we really need to handle these young people with actual care.

Amanda Cook86 said:I mean, I guess some people would argue that pedophilia isn't even a thing until you hit 14... but honestly, that just doesn't sit right with me.

I was thinking back to those teenagers who used to hook up with high school seniors. I guess it makes you wonder... are they actually pedophiles? They were only a few years older, maybe, so I'm not really sure where the line is drawn.

Well, maybe they look like girls to you, but officially? Not quite. I mean, if they have hair in certain places and all that, who knows. To me, real girls are the ones still playing with Barbies.

Come on, don't embarrass yourself.
First signs of womanhood show up by 11, sometimes even 9—so we should all be hooking up with them then? 😬
They might not be playing with Barbies anymore, but they’re dreaming of being Hollywood stars, they have zero clue how life works, they fight with their best friends ten times a day, a math test feels like the end of the world, and their whole existence revolves around popularity. They scream and jump around the streets like little kids—so yeah, they're immature, and yeah, they're children.
I’ve got two living examples right here at home whose friends are constantly over, and I see how they act.
Just look at anyone's Facebook profile—you'll see it.
It’s a child wearing a woman’s mask, but it's still a kid.
Manipulating a child's innocence and purity for your own perversions is straight-up criminal.

silentpilot6 said:We all have our own perspectives... I'm looking at this from the viewpoint of a 15-year-old boy who used to have crushes on teachers twice his age 😁, whereas you're looking at it as an older sister.

And why should a girl be labeled a slut just because she's with younger guys? Why such a harsh tone...?
You mention girls with mature bodies and makeup... well, that's just life. For some people, that's enough. Even if they are mentally children but physically nearly adults, what can I say? 🤷 Personally, I could never be with someone that young, even if it were "just casual," but there are people who can. Clearly, some girls fall for older types... it's a cliché, isn't it? A younger girl and an older guy... maybe not 20 years older, but definitely a gap 🤷
To be clear... I am not defending "those" people or "those" relationships, nor do I think they are good, desirable, or normal 🙂 a 15-year-old should really just be dating 16 or 17-year-olds, but on the other hand, I can't accept the claim that absolutely every single one of these relationships is pure exploitation and manipulation.
Some are, and some aren't, but you can find counterexamples... Is it perhaps worse for a 15-year-old to be hooked up with by a different 16, 17, or 18-year-old every weekend (and believe me, that happens... it happened back when I was 15 too, which was a long time ago 😬), or to have one partner, even if he is 20 years older?

I still don't quite know what to say 🤷 regarding this topic, but as I said, 😬 what we are discussing here isn't pedophilia, and we shouldn't confuse the two terms.

Let’s dig a little deeper here... who is actually responsible? Human sexuality is such a complex and vital part of our lives, yet who is truly guiding us through it? At best, it might be parents—though even that is debatable—but more often than not, we're just left to learn from the streets, our friends, or whatever we stumble upon online.
It honestly baffles me that our schools teach almost nothing about this, leaving kids without any real education on the subject. 🤷

And look, I personally know a few people this happened to, and it left a massive mark on their emotional lives and how they see the world.
There's a huge difference between a wet fantasy and reality.

My bad—not a slut, but a patient. Apologies to all the sluts out there.

Yeah, for some people, that's enough, which says a lot about their mental "health"—so don't try to shove that down my throat as "normal" or whatever.

Sorry, but I haven't met a single Lolita who hooks up with older guys because she *wants* to or because she's into them.
There are a few, sure, but they're rare.
Just like there are people attracted to trees, but it's extremely rare.
To be specific, I know four girls, around 15 or 16, who are hooking up with married guys and they aren't enjoying it.
They fell in love, and then these guys threaten them—saying they'll leave them if they don't sleep with them—and MOST of these guys are well into their 20s.
To me, that’s basically rape, but hey, our beautiful American laws are set up a certain way, so maybe I'm just stupid. 👎

There are girls who hook up every other weekend with different guys, but those girls were a little... well, borderline slow.
Then again, it’s not always as ugly as people say.
Every "slut" can probably name ten guys she doesn't even know.
But on the flip side, there are very few virgins among fifteen-year-olds.
99 percent of them have slept with someone because he threatened to dump them if they didn't. 🙄
So, dear readers, keep believing the myth that teenage girls are these total vixens who sleep around voluntarily.
I talk to my two daughters constantly at home—mostly because I have to, because I'm terrified of what some idiot or creep on the street might do to them—so they keep me posted on what's happening out there.
Watching American movies, I used to get the impression that 14 or 15-year-old girls were just hypersexual wrecks looking to hook up... but it's really not like that, now that I see it.

And yeah, the internet is to blame, along with parents and twisted social morals and values...
I'd even throw today's idols into the mix—it's all very "party hard, baby"—because what can a pop star like Taylor Swift, who 90 percent of teens listen to, tell a young girl other than how irresponsible sexual behavior is or how "grown" a woman becomes the more guys she sleeps with?

Sure, I used to crush on Brad Pitt too, but I knew I wasn't ready for sex.
Fantasy isn't reality.
I'm saying this for the hundredth time—plenty of women fantasize about rape, so who would actually want it to happen in real life?!
Girls at that age explore and fantasize about all sorts of things, and then some jerk comes along and convinces them they need to turn those fantasies into action.
Because he's older and more "experienced."
Meanwhile, psychologists say a girl under 16 isn't even physically mature enough for sex, let alone emotionally.

Thanks Bradley Wood3, you really hit the nail on the head... I guess there's a huge difference between just imagining things and actually having to look at a naked kid right in front of you 😲

vividorca9 said:I’m not strictly talking about sex here. Fine, let’s put it this way: they hook up, she decides she’s done because she saw it for what it was—just casual—but he falls head over heels because he’s easily swayed. He feels like a man because she told him he’s special, more mature than other guys his age, blah blah blah... You think that doesn't happen? Sure, it happens to women more often, but still. It’s not impossible, and it’s definitely not rare.

Look, I can't stop anyone from doing anything. But if you’re going to sleep with a 15-year-old, the least you can do is be honest about where things stand so nobody gets played. No "you're so special" or "I think I'm falling for you" nonsense if it's just about sex. And it'd be decent if the kid didn't end up feeling discarded or like total trash afterward.🤷

Of course, like I said, everything is relative. We see extremes everywhere, like when bitter moms in the US start crying statutory rape because their 17-year-old daughter slept with a 19 or 20-year-old boyfriend.

BTW, a huge chunk of depression, neurosis, and crimes committed during adolescence gets brushed off as just an "adolescent crisis." That just proves how sensitive this stage of life is and why we really need to handle these young people with actual care.

It’s not that it’s rarer; it’s that this stuff happens to guys by default. Doesn't matter if they're dating someone ten years younger, ten years older, or the same age—whether they're 27 or 67, it plays out the same way.

vividorca9 said:I’m not strictly talking about sex here. Fine, let’s put it this way: they hook up, she decides she’s done because she saw it for what it was—just casual—but he falls head over heels because he’s easily swayed. He feels like a man because she told him he’s special, more mature than other guys his age, blah blah blah... You think that doesn't happen? Sure, it happens to women more often, but still. It’s not impossible, and it’s definitely not rare.

Look, I can't stop anyone from doing anything. But if you’re going to sleep with a 15-year-old, the least you can do is be honest about where things stand so nobody gets played. No "you're so special" or "I think I'm falling for you" nonsense if it's just about sex. And it'd be decent if the kid didn't end up feeling discarded or like total trash afterward.🤷

Of course, like I said, everything is relative. We see extremes everywhere, like when bitter moms in the US start crying statutory rape because their 17-year-old daughter slept with a 19 or 20-year-old boyfriend.

BTW, a huge chunk of depression, neurosis, and crimes committed during adolescence gets brushed off as just an "adolescent crisis." That just proves how sensitive this stage of life is and why we really need to handle these young people with actual care.

Man, talk about naive... "Handle them with care," my ass. Teenagers drink, smoke, do drugs, and rebel against the very authorities who are trying to "handle them with care." Honestly, the kids living on the edge usually blow through their "adolescent crisis" way faster than the ones being coddled and walked on eggshells.

granitewolf6 said:It’s not that it’s rarer; it’s that this stuff happens to guys by default. Doesn't matter if they're dating someone ten years younger, ten years older, or the same age—whether they're 27 or 67, it plays out the same way.

Man, talk about naive... "Handle them with care," my ass. Teenagers drink, smoke, do drugs, and rebel against the very authorities who are trying to "handle them with care." Honestly, the kids living on the edge usually blow through their "adolescent crisis" way faster than the ones being coddled and walked on eggshells.

Oh, really?
Seriously, I hear stories every other day about someone being used for sex, but rarely the other way around.
But whatever, that's a whole different rabbit hole.
Yeah, sure, because a 15-year-old is totally going to outsmart a 30-year-old... 🙄

Right, because teenagers think they’re the smartest, most mature people on the planet—and just because they feel that way, more grounded adults are supposed to accept their perspective as some universal standard of "maturity."🙄