What are the key differences between male and female pedophiles?

Bradley Wood3 said:Oh, really?
Seriously, I hear stories every other day about someone being used for sex, but rarely the other way around.
But whatever, that's a whole different rabbit hole.
Yeah, sure, because a 15-year-old is totally going to outsmart a 30-year-old... 🙄

Right, because teenagers think they’re the smartest, most mature people on the planet—and just because they feel that way, more grounded adults are supposed to accept their perspective as some universal standard of "maturity."🙄

Look, the point isn't about feelings—it's about consequences. Some girls end up hurt. Others? They know exactly how to pull the strings of older men and they do it intentionally. Maybe they’ll feel regret down the road, but they aren't exactly running to court to sue an ex. It’s just "another one from the past." They know why they did what they did.
And this isn't just my "impression"—this is how they actually act. They tell you straight up. There’s no lingering hatred for those older partners, and they don't walk away feeling exploited.

The legal age of consent is 14—though in reality, that individual line shifts constantly and can be much higher. Anything lower? Not really an option.

Erica, I won't be satisfied until you present a living, breathing example of their actual emotional maturity level—you know, what it actually looks like when a minor tries to seduce someone (or whatever fantasy is playing in her head);

I either need to start carrying sugar-free snacks in my pocket at all times, or perhaps I should just embrace being a cross between Sinise Vuce and Brad Pitt. It’s happened to me several times now: I have been a "victim of seduction." -16.
To get straight to the point without analyzing profiles too much, I am currently 24 years old. I'm not bragging, and I certainly don't find this flattering.

My neighbor, who is barely 14—and some might call her a knockout—saved these text messages so she wouldn't run into trouble.

I'll skip the tedious intro about who was messing with me using an unknown number and get right to the identity of the sender;

"You really think I'm just some little girl... huh?"

"Well... I just want us to get to know each other, that's all... I know there's a little risk since I'm 14, but hey, that's what matters."

"No... ugh... but what if someone needs to know... why are you being like this?"

"But... just give me a chance, one single chance... okay? Do you have AIM?

"Please... give me a chance... I won't let you down... younger is sweeter... come on, just give me a chance."

"Come on, give me a chance, please... don't be such a loser... please."

"Just give me a chance :)"

"Wait, what? I don't get it, what's the problem?"

(At this point, I sent her a message explaining how inappropriate this is and telling her she should find someone her own age.)

"But no one would ever know... ugh... age isn't even a problem... lol... why does it matter so much???"

"But don't you get it... I mean, I'd want us to be something or at least get to know each other better, you know? Ugh."

"Did you forget about me? Huh? Come on, just give me a chance... I know you changed your mind 🙂 🙂 🙂 "

(HINT: use "Urban Dictionary" for any slang or weird phrasing here 😁 )

If this had been some random girl I didn't know, I would have coldly said no and turned my back on her. But since I know her parents and her family, I tried to explain to her nicely that things simply don't work that way.

I'll leave you to judge for yourselves...

If your eyes fail you, surely you still have a brain left, even a Legionnaire has one. 😉
The same goes for maturity; if anyone finds a teenager who doesn't think they are more mature and advanced than everyone else, I'll buy them a drink.

Bradley Wood3 said:Oh, really?
Seriously, I hear stories every other day about someone being used for sex, but rarely the other way around.
But whatever, that's a whole different rabbit hole.
Yeah, sure, because a 15-year-old is totally going to outsmart a 30-year-old... 🙄

Right, because teenagers think they’re the smartest, most mature people on the planet—and just because they feel that way, more grounded adults are supposed to accept their perspective as some universal standard of "maturity."🙄

If women actually stopped to weigh the emotional damage they might cause down the road, I’d probably still be a virgin. Thank God they aren't that logical.

And here's another thing. A Legionnaire, just like anyone else in that spot regardless of gender, pulls away from some girl at a bar for two simple reasons: himself and his own reputation. It’s never about her feelings. Anyone claiming otherwise is just being a hypocrite.

placidranger said:Look, the point isn't about feelings—it's about consequences. Some girls end up hurt. Others? They know exactly how to pull the strings of older men and they do it intentionally. Maybe they’ll feel regret down the road, but they aren't exactly running to court to sue an ex. It’s just "another one from the past." They know why they did what they did.
And this isn't just my "impression"—this is how they actually act. They tell you straight up. There’s no lingering hatred for those older partners, and they don't walk away feeling exploited.

The legal age of consent is 14—though in reality, that individual line shifts constantly and can be much higher. Anything lower? Not really an option.

Look, I've been around the block enough times to know—everyone ends up feeling played and totally screwed over. 🤷

granitewolf6 said:If women actually stopped to weigh the emotional damage they might cause down the road, I’d probably still be a virgin. Thank God they aren't that logical.

And here's another thing. A Legionnaire, just like anyone else in that spot regardless of gender, pulls away from some girl at a bar for two simple reasons: himself and his own reputation. It’s never about her feelings. Anyone claiming otherwise is just being a hypocrite.

Alright, after this—I'm done. Nothing left to argue about with you... ☕

Bradley Wood3 said:Look, I've been around the block enough times to know—everyone ends up feeling played and totally screwed over. 🤷

Alright, after this—I'm done. Nothing left to argue about with you... ☕

The thing is, you clearly haven't bothered to ask how the guys in these groups actually feel about it all.

Bradley Wood3 said:Look, I've been around the block enough times to know—everyone ends up feeling played and totally screwed over. 🤷

Alright, after this—I'm done. Nothing left to argue about with you... ☕

BMK.

granitewolf6 said:The thing is, you clearly haven't bothered to ask how the guys in these groups actually feel about it all.

BMK.

Look—if a grown, independent man falls for some immature kid, he’s clearly not right in the head, mentally or otherwise. I don't care what their "group dynamics" look like.
Even back when I was just a 23-year-old kid myself, I couldn't find any common ground with a 15-year-old.

You bring up BMK like I give a damn about BK—as if I care. 🤣🙄

The links from The New York Post are driving me absolutely insane, but seriously, you guys have to read this piece by Renata Č.. She’s out here claiming he was way more mature than other guys his age and that sex wasn't even on his mind. Give me a break! It reminds me of that absolute disaster involving that teacher who was hooking up with her 12-year-old student; she basically lived her life jumping from one prison release straight to the next guy. They finally tied the knot recently just because he finally hit the legal age.

Jeremy Smith3 said:The links from The New York Post are driving me absolutely insane, but seriously, you guys have to read this piece by Renata Č.. She’s out here claiming he was way more mature than other guys his age and that sex wasn't even on his mind. Give me a break! It reminds me of that absolute disaster involving that teacher who was hooking up with her 12-year-old student; she basically lived her life jumping from one prison release straight to the next guy. They finally tied the knot recently just because he finally hit the legal age.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows. She struggles with bipolar disorder, he dropped out of school, and there was a period where he was hospitalized for depression and dealing with alcoholism. A (relatively) healthy relationship? I don't think so...

Honestly, this entire thread has been getting under my skin more than I’d care to admit.

I hit puberty incredibly early; my body started changing as soon as I was in fourth grade. By the time I turned thirteen, I already had the silhouette of a grown woman, including a D-cup bust.
I never actually dated anyone older, but I dealt with an endless stream of creepy advances from older men who were clearly attracted to the fact that I looked mature. They didn't see me as a child at all, even though I very much was one, and sex wasn't even something I was remotely thinking about or interested in back then.
To make matters worse, those experiences left me with this deep-seated belief that men were only interested in sex and nothing else. It really took a toll on me, and for a long time, I found it nearly impossible to trust men in general.
Now, reading some of the comments posted by the men on here, I can't say I'm surprised that I grew up feeling that way.

Ryan Gray3 said:It's not all sunshine and rainbows. She struggles with bipolar disorder, he dropped out of school, and there was a period where he was hospitalized for depression and dealing with alcoholism. A (relatively) healthy relationship? I don't think so...

I don't recall that being mentioned at all.

neontinker5 said:Erica, I won't be satisfied until you present a living, breathing example of their actual emotional maturity level—you know, what it actually looks like when a minor tries to seduce someone (or whatever fantasy is playing in her head);

I either need to start carrying sugar-free snacks in my pocket at all times, or perhaps I should just embrace being a cross between Sinise Vuce and Brad Pitt. It’s happened to me several times now: I have been a "victim of seduction." -16.
To get straight to the point without analyzing profiles too much, I am currently 24 years old. I'm not bragging, and I certainly don't find this flattering.

My neighbor, who is barely 14—and some might call her a knockout—saved these text messages so she wouldn't run into trouble.

I'll skip the tedious intro about who was messing with me using an unknown number and get right to the identity of the sender;

"You really think I'm just some little girl... huh?"

"Well... I just want us to get to know each other, that's all... I know there's a little risk since I'm 14, but hey, that's what matters."

"No... ugh... but what if someone needs to know... why are you being like this?"

"But... just give me a chance, one single chance... okay? Do you have AIM?

"Please... give me a chance... I won't let you down... younger is sweeter... come on, just give me a chance."

"Come on, give me a chance, please... don't be such a loser... please."

"Just give me a chance :)"

"Wait, what? I don't get it, what's the problem?"

(At this point, I sent her a message explaining how inappropriate this is and telling her she should find someone her own age.)

"But no one would ever know... ugh... age isn't even a problem... lol... why does it matter so much???"

"But don't you get it... I mean, I'd want us to be something or at least get to know each other better, you know? Ugh."

"Did you forget about me? Huh? Come on, just give me a chance... I know you changed your mind 🙂 🙂 🙂 "

(HINT: use "Urban Dictionary" for any slang or weird phrasing here 😁 )

If this had been some random girl I didn't know, I would have coldly said no and turned my back on her. But since I know her parents and her family, I tried to explain to her nicely that things simply don't work that way.

I'll leave you to judge for yourselves...

If your eyes fail you, surely you still have a brain left, even a Legionnaire has one. 😉
The same goes for maturity; if anyone finds a teenager who doesn't think they are more mature and advanced than everyone else, I'll buy them a drink.

haha Eric thanks for this, that was fun 😁

To be honest, feels like things are getting even more ridiculous today than they used to be. 🙂

Betty Thomas8 said:Honestly, this entire thread has been getting under my skin more than I’d care to admit.

I hit puberty incredibly early; my body started changing as soon as I was in fourth grade. By the time I turned thirteen, I already had the silhouette of a grown woman, including a D-cup bust.
I never actually dated anyone older, but I dealt with an endless stream of creepy advances from older men who were clearly attracted to the fact that I looked mature. They didn't see me as a child at all, even though I very much was one, and sex wasn't even something I was remotely thinking about or interested in back then.
To make matters worse, those experiences left me with this deep-seated belief that men were only interested in sex and nothing else. It really took a toll on me, and for a long time, I found it nearly impossible to trust men in general.
Now, reading some of the comments posted by the men on here, I can't say I'm surprised that I grew up feeling that way.

I'm so sorry... unfortunately, things like that 😢 do happen 🤷, but I truly hope you've moved past it and don't feel so cynical about men in general anymore...

silentpilot6 said:I'm so sorry... unfortunately, things like that 😢 do happen 🤷, but I truly hope you've moved past it and don't feel so cynical about men in general anymore...

Oh, believe me, it’s all behind me now. I've come to realize that men are just like women—you find every possible variety of them out there. 🙂
Though, if it hadn't been for those experiences, my puberty and teenage years certainly wouldn't have been as unpleasant as they were. Seriously, try imagining some construction worker shouting catcalls at a thirteen-year-old girl and then tell me that's "normal" or that he's perfectly fine just because she happens to be developing early. Not to mention how terrifying and uncomfortable that actually feels for a kid.👎

granitewolf6 said:It’s not that it’s rarer; it’s that this stuff happens to guys by default. Doesn't matter if they're dating someone ten years younger, ten years older, or the same age—whether they're 27 or 67, it plays out the same way.

Man, talk about naive... "Handle them with care," my ass. Teenagers drink, smoke, do drugs, and rebel against the very authorities who are trying to "handle them with care." Honestly, the kids living on the edge usually blow through their "adolescent crisis" way faster than the ones being coddled and walked on eggshells.

Look, those people are adults. Mentally and physically, they're fully developed. Period.

But looking at an innocent kid—a 13 or 14-year-old—as if they're just a piece of meat? I don't know about you guys, and I'm not here to judge, but something about that feels fundamentally wrong to me. Those are children trapped in adult bodies.
Quincy:

How incredibly naive is this crowd... "Careful," my ass. Teenagers smoke, hook up, do drugs, and rebel against any authority that tries to be "careful" with them. They actually breeze through their "adolescent crisis" faster than the kids who are coddled and handled with kid gloves.

Being careful means being disciplined and strict, but with actual empathy and tolerance. It’s about being both autocratic and democratic at once. It's hard to pull off, but that’s how you raise a functional, independent person. But that wasn't even my point. Sure, they drink, smoke, and hook up, but that doesn't mean they should be "easy targets" or whatever. Laws exist for a reason; the rest comes down to internalized norms and conscience. Personally, I won't stand for someone touching my twelve-year-old sister just because she hit puberty early—back when creeps used to catcall me on my way to school because I was more developed than my peers (and you can't do anything because you're paralyzed by shame and fear). It could have been worse if my parents hadn't been absolute tyrants at home, but I still wouldn't allow it. People like that deserve to pay if they ever get the chance.
Or some guy who thinks he has the right to rape my 16-year-old friend just because, get this, he decided she was hot. I have nothing to say to that. 🤷

People take way too much liberty when it comes to following their primal instincts. 😉 Look, someone might say: "Whatever, you have eyes, but you also have a brain." Having sex organs isn't a free pass for everything.

Betty Thomas8 said:Oh, believe me, it’s all behind me now. I've come to realize that men are just like women—you find every possible variety of them out there. 🙂
Though, if it hadn't been for those experiences, my puberty and teenage years certainly wouldn't have been as unpleasant as they were. Seriously, try imagining some construction worker shouting catcalls at a thirteen-year-old girl and then tell me that's "normal" or that he's perfectly fine just because she happens to be developing early. Not to mention how terrifying and uncomfortable that actually feels for a kid.👎

Man... I won't pretend to know exactly what you went through (since I don't have 😁 ), but I haven't heard of anyone having a situation quite like yours.

Look, people are inherently unrefined and primitive by nature 😁 and it doesn't matter if they're working a blue-collar job or holding three degrees and two master's—a jerk is a jerk. 🤷

I just hope you feel confident about your body now 😁... I know a woman who was so traumatized by her adolescence that she constantly wears oversized shirts and baggy sweaters. She always hunches over, doing everything she can to hide her chest... eventually, those attempts become desperate moves 😢 that actually make things worse than for the girls who wear low-cut tops and push themselves into everyone's faces.🤷

silentpilot6 said:Man... I won't pretend to know exactly what you went through (since I don't have 😁 ), but I haven't heard of anyone having a situation quite like yours.

Look, people are inherently unrefined and primitive by nature 😁 and it doesn't matter if they're working a blue-collar job or holding three degrees and two master's—a jerk is a jerk. 🤷

I just hope you feel confident about your body now 😁... I know a woman who was so traumatized by her adolescence that she constantly wears oversized shirts and baggy sweaters. She always hunches over, doing everything she can to hide her chest... eventually, those attempts become desperate moves 😢 that actually make things worse than for the girls who wear low-cut tops and push themselves into everyone's faces.🤷

I get it, though the "blue-collar" types are easy to spot. (I'm not trying to insult laborers or anything; I just used them as a stereotypical example)
Since my physical appearance is something I inherited from my mother, and considering she dealt with significant trauma during her childhood—including two attempted assaults—she taught me some hard lessons. She told me there's absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed about shutting down an older man, even if I respect him as an elder, because that's how she was raised.
But honestly, if she hadn't shared those experiences and warned me, I probably would have been incredibly naive. Who knows? Maybe I would have fallen for the sweet talk of some older man, thinking it was flattering. But looking back, I don't think a relationship like that would have ended well for me in the long run.
That's why I say it: it's not that young women don't agree to these kinds of dynamics, but I suspect many aren't fully aware of what they're actually getting themselves into. That is why being a grown adult means having the clarity to see things for what they really are.

Your mom was right on the money 👍—the truth is there are plenty of guys who just see a great pair of curves and immediately lose their heads.
It is what it is... 🤷

silentpilot6 said:Well, from what I understand, pedophiles specifically target those who haven't developed secondary sexual characteristics...
A 14, 15, or 16-year-old doesn't fall under that category anymore. There is a different term for it, but I can't recall it right now. 😁

Hmm... it depends on how the woman looks. If she's a total milfača 😬, I’d probably tell him, "Even your dad would approve," 😁 or "That's my boy." 😬
If it were some creep, though, I'd ask him if he's lost his mind.

I'm not sure what smart thing to say here... ultimately, you have to distinguish between situations involving coercion and those that are consensual.
Coercion is a criminal offense... but if it's voluntary, 🤔 I really don't know what to say. 🤷
Dammit... I can't help but imagine being a 15-year-old kid hooking up with that teacher 🙂 who was maybe 28 at the time. If someone found out and she got in trouble, I'd be the first one defending her.

Admittedly, we've drifted off-topic in recent posts... 15 years old isn't pedophilia.

There is absolutely no justification or mercy for pedophilia.
Since we don't have the death penalty or execution here, forty years in prison is the way to go... but you have to agree that when an older woman sleeps with a 15-year-old, it isn't the same thing as some 45-year-old jerk attacking a 9-year-old girl. 😢

Hebephilia ☕

Biologically speaking, pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children—basically before those secondary sexual characteristics kick in.

Legally, though, it all comes down to whatever age of consent is set by the state. In the US, it varies, but let's say it's 16 or 18 depending on where you are. So if a 16-year-old consents to someone who's 30, 40, or 50, as long as there’s no coercion involved (like assault), all those moral crusaders can cry about it all they want. But if we're talking about a 13-year-old, even if they "consent," the law sees it as child abuse, period. It's a crime.

silentpilot6 said:Well, from what I understand, pedophiles specifically target those who haven't developed secondary sexual characteristics...
A 14, 15, or 16-year-old doesn't fall under that category anymore. There is a different term for it, but I can't recall it right now. 😁

Hmm... it depends on how the woman looks. If she's a total milfača 😬, I’d probably tell him, "Even your dad would approve," 😁 or "That's my boy." 😬
If it were some creep, though, I'd ask him if he's lost his mind.

I'm not sure what smart thing to say here... ultimately, you have to distinguish between situations involving coercion and those that are consensual.
Coercion is a criminal offense... but if it's voluntary, 🤔 I really don't know what to say. 🤷
Dammit... I can't help but imagine being a 15-year-old kid hooking up with that teacher 🙂 who was maybe 28 at the time. If someone found out and she got in trouble, I'd be the first one defending her.

Admittedly, we've drifted off-topic in recent posts... 15 years old isn't pedophilia.

There is absolutely no justification or mercy for pedophilia.
Since we don't have the death penalty or execution here, forty years in prison is the way to go... but you have to agree that when an older woman sleeps with a 15-year-old, it isn't the same thing as some 45-year-old jerk attacking a 9-year-old girl. 😢

Look, pedophilia is classified as a psychological disorder (just like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders, if I were to list them all), and people don't get thrown in prison for having a mental illness—they get locked up for committing a crime defined by the law.

silentpilot6 said:Well, from what I understand, pedophiles specifically target those who haven't developed secondary sexual characteristics...
A 14, 15, or 16-year-old doesn't fall under that category anymore. There is a different term for it, but I can't recall it right now. 😁

Hmm... it depends on how the woman looks. If she's a total milfača 😬, I’d probably tell him, "Even your dad would approve," 😁 or "That's my boy." 😬
If it were some creep, though, I'd ask him if he's lost his mind.

I'm not sure what smart thing to say here... ultimately, you have to distinguish between situations involving coercion and those that are consensual.
Coercion is a criminal offense... but if it's voluntary, 🤔 I really don't know what to say. 🤷
Dammit... I can't help but imagine being a 15-year-old kid hooking up with that teacher 🙂 who was maybe 28 at the time. If someone found out and she got in trouble, I'd be the first one defending her.

Admittedly, we've drifted off-topic in recent posts... 15 years old isn't pedophilia.

There is absolutely no justification or mercy for pedophilia.
Since we don't have the death penalty or execution here, forty years in prison is the way to go... but you have to agree that when an older woman sleeps with a 15-year-old, it isn't the same thing as some 45-year-old jerk attacking a 9-year-old girl. 😢

You're kind of comparing apples to oranges there. A woman with a 15-year-old and a guy with a 15-year-old fall into the same legal bucket. But a woman with a 9-year-old? Yeah, that's straight-up pedophilia.

Jamie Reyes6 said:Hebephilia ☕

Biologically speaking, pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children—basically before those secondary sexual characteristics kick in.

Legally, though, it all comes down to whatever age of consent is set by the state. In the US, it varies, but let's say it's 16 or 18 depending on where you are. So if a 16-year-old consents to someone who's 30, 40, or 50, as long as there’s no coercion involved (like assault), all those moral crusaders can cry about it all they want. But if we're talking about a 13-year-old, even if they "consent," the law sees it as child abuse, period. It's a crime.

Look, pedophilia is classified as a psychological disorder (just like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders, if I were to list them all), and people don't get thrown in prison for having a mental illness—they get locked up for committing a crime defined by the law.

You're kind of comparing apples to oranges there. A woman with a 15-year-old and a guy with a 15-year-old fall into the same legal bucket. But a woman with a 9-year-old? Yeah, that's straight-up pedophilia.

Technically speaking, pedophilia isn't classified as a mental disorder; it's a sexual preference, just like being gay or straight. Except, unlike being hetero or homo, where people actually have the right to sleep with whoever they want as long as they're legal adults, this is different. You can't "cure" a sexual preference. All you can do is make sure a predator doesn't get the chance to ruin a kid's life. There used to be theories suggesting these people are just socially stunted individuals who can't handle the adult world and cling to kids out of shame, but nothing like that has ever been proven.

Oh sure, let's just hand them a Nobel Prize while they're busy molesting children. 😉

Bradley Wood3 said:Look—if a grown, independent man falls for some immature kid, he’s clearly not right in the head, mentally or otherwise. I don't care what their "group dynamics" look like.
Even back when I was just a 23-year-old kid myself, I couldn't find any common ground with a 15-year-old.

You bring up BMK like I give a damn about BK—as if I care. 🤣🙄

Anyway, you won't believe this, but a few years back I read on the Index forum about some girl who hooked up with her dad's buddy. It's like... gross when you look older than you are. Let's be real, sex is hard to turn down, no matter how much people pretend it isn't.