How not to screw up your kids: Parenting tips & tricks

Lisa Lopez6 said:🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 🙄🙄🙄
Sorry, but all those Rolexes had to stop somewhere at some point.

And where am I supposed to shove all my 😕 which just popped up in the void between my ears thanks to your post and won't go away?

Sorry, but I think I missed the point 🤷 — were you actually trying to say something about the topic, honey, or do you just have some weird obsession with Rolls-Royces?

...just try this for a second: stand there, right in front of your child, look them in the eye, and take a moment to actually consider what they’re feeling or wanting in that exact instant. If you can manage that, everything becomes much simpler, because let’s be honest, we need to listen to our kids more often. We shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking everything has to go exactly according to the parent's script, because frankly, parents aren't always right, and we certainly don't have the final word on every single little thing in life. We really shouldn't be trying to manufacture miniature versions of ourselves; they are entirely unique individuals, completely separate from who we are...

wirednomad42 said:Maybe I phrased that poorly 🤷
What I meant was—I did the best I could by choosing the best possible dad for my child 🙏
I trust my husband, I believe in him, and more than anything, I believe he’ll be the absolute best father for our kid.
But it isn't my job to second-guess his moves. 🤷
I don't know—I guess I don't think it's my place to question anyone but myself 🤷

And besides, if I ever need to bring up something he did, I'll frame it as a hypothetical, or act like it was me who did it. Just because I'm not out here venting about my husband on a forum doesn't mean he isn't there 😉 so let's stick to discussing parenting actions rather than whether or not my kid actually has a father 🙂

I certainly don't 😍

That’s too bad.

I’ve got a teenager at home—and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.😍

jadewalker63 said:That’s too bad.

I’ve got a teenager at home—and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.😍

And what about you? 😍

wirednomad42 said:And where am I supposed to shove all my 😕 which just popped up in the void between my ears thanks to your post and won't go away?

Sorry, but I think I missed the point 🤷 — were you actually trying to say something about the topic, honey, or do you just have some weird obsession with Rolls-Royces?

Gosh, sorry if I offended you, but I was just trying to say I don't really buy into your idea that two-year-olds are "absolutely precious little things"😉

Lisa Lopez6 said:Gosh, sorry if I offended you, but I was just trying to say I don't really buy into your idea that two-year-olds are "absolutely precious little things"😉

You didn't offend me—not that I’m easy to offend these days. 😕 I honestly didn't catch what you were getting at—totally lost you there. 🤷
I mean, I gotta admit—I still have absolutely no clue what you're actually trying to say. 😁 So, what's the actual deal here—are you trying to tell everyone you hate kids, or just that two-year-olds are a total nightmare? Or maybe you actually like them, but they’re just exhausting once they hit that age—I don't know, pick a lane. 🤷
Got any parenting tips for us—or am I just shouting into the void here? 🙂

wirednomad42 said:And what about you? 😍

Fair question. 🤣

I can only really answer that by looking at how he treats me.

If he respects my opinion, keeps things civil during arguments, and trusts me enough to share what's going on in his life (probably not everything 😍)... plus, he's a great student and a dedicated athlete... (okay, now I sound like a total soccer mom 🙄)... honestly, I doubt he’d want to change me either 😍

jadewalker63 said:Fair question. 🤣

I can only really answer that by looking at how he treats me.

If he respects my opinion, keeps things civil during arguments, and trusts me enough to share what's going on in his life (probably not everything 😍)... plus, he's a great student and a dedicated athlete... (okay, now I sound like a total soccer mom 🙄)... honestly, I doubt he’d want to change me either 😍

Just the two of you? — Or am I missing someone else?

Kids need a role model. You can act like a saint toward your own child, but if they see you treating everyone else like garbage, they’re going to soak that up and use it themselves. You have to be constantly mindful of your words, your attitude, and your actions. If parents are constantly fighting at home, the kids are going to pick up that habit. If there's aggression in the family, the child will eventually become aggressive too.
If you aren't honest when they ask you something, they'll learn how to lie from you—even if you think you're protecting them by withholding the truth. They’ll know you're lying. I know this firsthand because people lied to me all the time; I knew every single time, I just didn't say anything. Basically, whatever mistakes you make, your child is going to repeat them because you're their blueprint.

In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes is "misguided love." For example, giving in to every whim "out of love," or buying them cheap junk to play with just to be nice. Letting them stay up until midnight watching TV "because you love them"—honestly, what a kid actually needs is for you to engage with them and teach them important life skills, not just mindless screen time. I'd call it "parental laziness" rather than love.

Ultimately, you have to start with yourself. Once you do that, you can raise your children differently than how your own parents raised you. I think a lot of us feel that way—we don't want to repeat the same old patterns. I certainly don't.

So yeah, those are just a few things that matter to me. 🙂

wirednomad42 said:Just the two of you? — Or am I missing someone else?

Yeah, for the last 6 years. I was married until he turned 9.
The divorce wasn't some huge trauma—and now he and his dad have regular meetups and stay on good terms (which I don't get involved in)