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Exploring lesbian experimentation in your early 20s?

Started by Jeremy Baker6 · · 👁 9 views · 153 replies

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Participants Jeremy Baker6boldjackal10Alex Patel96slymaker26Jason Ross2James Ramirez10Jerry Martinez5Nathan Kelly5Brenda Jackson95swiftrider80Mark Harris63Peter Phillips32Betty Myers7Sean Cruzrowdyotter65hiddenhound3slywolf45lonegardenerhollowtinker18Edward Wilson82Megan Diaz33Justin Allen81Edward Murphy4wiredpuma9 …
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#61 ·
lonegardener said:Hold on, you missed my point... of course it's not a rare phenomenon. I never claimed it was. In fact, I know it's quite common. (Though I am curious what "rare" means to you).

But you definitely missed the mark with that idea that "a dick is irreplaceable." That is simply not true. Just ask slywolf45, for instance. 😬 It is incredibly easy to replace one thing with something else.

Honestly, I'd rather not say what I think about a girl who would choose me over another woman just because she thinks "a dick is irreplaceable." I’d probably just hand her the most expensive vibrator on the market and say, "Here, this will serve you just fine." 😬 😈 🤣

I already covered that in middle school biology, but no matter how you look at it, the fact remains that you echoed her while completely ignoring his post. There isn't really any other reason for that besides what I already mentioned. Look, you know it and I know it—there’s no reason to be stubborn. Having an opinion isn't a "sin." I'm just stating a fact.

Why does any of this matter? 😕 Since you possess that particular "irreplaceable" asset, you are just as essential, if not more so, than anyone else. Do not allow your ego to rob you of pleasure over such trivialities. It is quite evident that the woman in question has simply realized she is heterosexual and has no desire to date women. This has absolutely nothing to do with your character or who you are as a person.
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#62 ·
hollowtinker18 said:I'm not judging, just curious about your logic—how did you end up coming out as a lesbian, slywolf45?
What's the upside?

There's no way I can explain that in just three sentences; I assume you realize that? It’s way too complex for such a quick answer. I suppose women just suit her better. 😍

As far as that goes, it's her life. Though, I have to admit, I get a little annoyed by that tiny, subtle (😍) sense she has that she's part of some "elite" group because of it. Like, "Oh, I'm just special in a positive way." Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat. 😬 🤣

No hard feelings, slywolf45. 🙂
slywolf45 slywolf45 Regular
299 messages
joined Apr 2016
#63 ·
lonegardener said:You’ve got a skewed perspective simply because you’re right in the thick of it.

Most people aren't actually at the center of everything. In other words, your conclusions are being drawn from a statistically insignificant sample size.

Sure, there are plenty of them. But let's be honest—that term "plenty" is pretty vague. It could mean anything.

You missed the mark again, honestly. 🤷 It’s not like it's completely worthless. I'm not saying it lacks any significance at all. 🤣Of course, that's a pretty interesting tool. 🙂 Look, that’s definitely not the only reason a woman would be straight. For crying out loud, I feel like I have to spell everything out for you.

All I'm saying is that, looking back, the numbers ended up being much higher than I originally anticipated.
And what constitutes "high"? Well, I suppose everyone has their own internal metric for that.

Your perception is skewed simply because you're right in the thick of it.
In other words, your conclusions are based on a statistically non-representative sample.

Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Are you suggesting my social circle consists exclusively of gay people, making my sample size biased?
Because if that's the implication, you've got it completely wrong. I actually have more straight friends than gay ones, and I rarely ever set foot in gay clubs or similar venues.

It bothers me a little bit, though—that slight (😍) sense that she views herself as part of some sort of "elite" because of it.

Okay, this is the first time I've heard anyone put it that way.🤣
An elite? That seems like a massive stretch. Honestly, I find it hard to buy into that.
Megan Diaz33 Megan Diaz33 Member
19 messages
joined Nov 2009
#64 ·
Jeremy Baker6 said:The headline pretty much sums it up. Why on earth do girls do this?


I honestly think most of them are just driven by pure curiosity—you know, just wanting to see what it’s actually like to be with a woman and how that dynamic differs from being with a man.
Some people find they actually enjoy it and decide to keep experimenting. 😳 😁

Then you have the ones who aren't doing it out of curiosity at all, but rather because they're just following a trend. It feels like over the last few years, it's become incredibly mainstream for girls to try things out with each other. 🤷
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#65 ·
lonegardener said:You’ve got a skewed perspective simply because you’re right in the thick of it.

Most people aren't actually at the center of everything. In other words, your conclusions are being drawn from a statistically insignificant sample size.

Sure, there are plenty of them. But let's be honest—that term "plenty" is pretty vague. It could mean anything.

You missed the mark again, honestly. 🤷 It’s not like it's completely worthless. I'm not saying it lacks any significance at all. 🤣Of course, that's a pretty interesting tool. 🙂 Look, that’s definitely not the only reason a woman would be straight. For crying out loud, I feel like I have to spell everything out for you.

When it comes to homosexuality or heterosexuality, there aren't specific "reasons" one can point to, because these aren't decisions made by a rational actor. Someone who has explored both sides can simply conclude which way they lean and live their life accordingly; I am truly at a loss as to why this remains unclear. The women I know have simply realized they prefer men over women, and that is the extent of the matter—there is no profound mystery to uncover.
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#66 ·
hiddenhound3 said:Why does any of this matter? 😕 Since you possess that particular "irreplaceable" asset, you are just as essential, if not more so, than anyone else. Do not allow your ego to rob you of pleasure over such trivialities. It is quite evident that the woman in question has simply realized she is heterosexual and has no desire to date women. This has absolutely nothing to do with your character or who you are as a person.

Look, I don't even know where to start with this response because you completely missed the point. How am I "irreplaceable" just because I have a dick? Seriously, there are another 3 billion guys out there with them. So, any one of those 3 billion could take my place if we're talking strictly about the anatomy. Right? 🤣

In this specific instance, please spare me the clumsy jokes about ego being some barrier to pleasure. I’m never going to "get rid of" my ego here. Nor do I think it's "necessary." Maybe you should ditch that pointless philosophy of yours—LOL. What good was yesterday's pleasure anyway? Why not go out and enjoy yourself right now instead of wasting time arguing on a forum? 😬
hollowtinker18 hollowtinker18 Active Member
120 messages
joined Sep 2011
#67 ·
lonegardener said:There's no way I can explain that in just three sentences; I assume you realize that? It’s way too complex for such a quick answer. I suppose women just suit her better. 😍

As far as that goes, it's her life. Though, I have to admit, I get a little annoyed by that tiny, subtle (😍) sense she has that she's part of some "elite" group because of it. Like, "Oh, I'm just special in a positive way." Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat. 😬 🤣

No hard feelings, slywolf45. 🙂

Yeah.
There could be a million reasons. (I mean, most of the time it's just because they're totally done with men for valid reasons, so seeing two women together feels more natural than watching two guys act like idiots.)
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#68 ·
lonegardener said:There's no way I can explain that in just three sentences; I assume you realize that? It’s way too complex for such a quick answer. I suppose women just suit her better. 😍

As far as that goes, it's her life. Though, I have to admit, I get a little annoyed by that tiny, subtle (😍) sense she has that she's part of some "elite" group because of it. Like, "Oh, I'm just special in a positive way." Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat. 😬 🤣

No hard feelings, slywolf45. 🙂

Personally, I don't get that impression at all.
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#69 ·
lonegardener said:Look, I don't even know where to start with this response because you completely missed the point. How am I "irreplaceable" just because I have a dick? Seriously, there are another 3 billion guys out there with them. So, any one of those 3 billion could take my place if we're talking strictly about the anatomy. Right? 🤣

In this specific instance, please spare me the clumsy jokes about ego being some barrier to pleasure. I’m never going to "get rid of" my ego here. Nor do I think it's "necessary." Maybe you should ditch that pointless philosophy of yours—LOL. What good was yesterday's pleasure anyway? Why not go out and enjoy yourself right now instead of wasting time arguing on a forum? 😬

It would probably be best if you didn't respond at all. 🤷
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#70 ·
slywolf45 said:All I'm saying is that, looking back, the numbers ended up being much higher than I originally anticipated.
And what constitutes "high"? Well, I suppose everyone has their own internal metric for that.

Your perception is skewed simply because you're right in the thick of it.
In other words, your conclusions are based on a statistically non-representative sample.

Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Are you suggesting my social circle consists exclusively of gay people, making my sample size biased?
Because if that's the implication, you've got it completely wrong. I actually have more straight friends than gay ones, and I rarely ever set foot in gay clubs or similar venues.

It bothers me a little bit, though—that slight (😍) sense that she views herself as part of some sort of "elite" because of it.

Okay, this is the first time I've heard anyone put it that way.🤣
An elite? That seems like a massive stretch. Honestly, I find it hard to buy into that.

That’s not what I meant. People aren't defined solely by their orientation. There are plenty of other factors at play. For instance, I'd bet you have more liberal-minded friends than you do folks who are religious fundamentalists. Am I close? 🤣

slywolf45 said:All I'm saying is that, looking back, the numbers ended up being much higher than I originally anticipated.
And what constitutes "high"? Well, I suppose everyone has their own internal metric for that.

Your perception is skewed simply because you're right in the thick of it.
In other words, your conclusions are based on a statistically non-representative sample.

Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Are you suggesting my social circle consists exclusively of gay people, making my sample size biased?
Because if that's the implication, you've got it completely wrong. I actually have more straight friends than gay ones, and I rarely ever set foot in gay clubs or similar venues.

It bothers me a little bit, though—that slight (😍) sense that she views herself as part of some sort of "elite" because of it.

Okay, this is the first time I've heard anyone put it that way.🤣
An elite? That seems like a massive stretch. Honestly, I find it hard to buy into that.

That's just how you come across. It's all about perception—my perception, and honestly, probably a lot of others too. If you don't see it, it might just mean you haven't learned how to look at yourself from an outside perspective yet.
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#71 ·
hiddenhound3 said:It would probably be best if you didn't respond at all. 🤷

Look, I try to be polite. If you ask me to ignore your posts, I'll follow suit immediately. 😍 You just have to be clear and direct with me; I'm not great at reading between the lines.
slywolf45 slywolf45 Regular
299 messages
joined Apr 2016
#72 ·
lonegardener said:You’ve got a skewed perspective simply because you’re right in the thick of it.

Most people aren't actually at the center of everything. In other words, your conclusions are being drawn from a statistically insignificant sample size.

Sure, there are plenty of them. But let's be honest—that term "plenty" is pretty vague. It could mean anything.

You missed the mark again, honestly. 🤷 It’s not like it's completely worthless. I'm not saying it lacks any significance at all. 🤣Of course, that's a pretty interesting tool. 🙂 Look, that’s definitely not the only reason a woman would be straight. For crying out loud, I feel like I have to spell everything out for you.

Exactly.
It’s not like I’m into women just because of what's between their legs, and a woman isn't straight simply because of a man's equipment.
There are plenty of variables at play here, but the decisive factor is really the psychological makeup of both parties.🙂
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#73 ·
hollowtinker18 said:Yeah.
There could be a million reasons. (I mean, most of the time it's just because they're totally done with men for valid reasons, so seeing two women together feels more natural than watching two guys act like idiots.)

🤣 But seriously, it’s not even that hard to wrap your head around... it even happens to me sometimes, LOL.
slywolf45 slywolf45 Regular
299 messages
joined Apr 2016
#74 ·
lonegardener said:That’s not what I meant. People aren't defined solely by their orientation. There are plenty of other factors at play. For instance, I'd bet you have more liberal-minded friends than you do folks who are religious fundamentalists. Am I close? 🤣

That's just how you come across. It's all about perception—my perception, and honestly, probably a lot of others too. If you don't see it, it might just mean you haven't learned how to look at yourself from an outside perspective yet.

You hit the nail on the head. Though, I suspect you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand.🤣
Alright, let's be honest here.🙂
Yes, my close friends tend to be, shall we say, a bit more liberal than the general population. I suppose that's fair.
But, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve actually had people—people I’m not even particularly close to, let alone those I'd expect to hold such views—make those kinds of admissions to me. It wasn't just an impression; it was explicit.
That’s just how you come across. It’s about perception. My perception, at least, and I suspect it's shared by many others. If you aren't aware of that, it might just mean you haven't quite mastered the art of looking at yourself from an outside perspective.

Fair enough.🤣
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#75 ·
slywolf45 said:Exactly.
It’s not like I’m into women just because of what's between their legs, and a woman isn't straight simply because of a man's equipment.
There are plenty of variables at play here, but the decisive factor is really the psychological makeup of both parties.🙂

Mindset? Good grief.

So, you were basically just lacking faith and hope... well, damn. 🤷 Honestly, I get where you're coming from, LOL, if we use some totally wild analogies...
slywolf45 slywolf45 Regular
299 messages
joined Apr 2016
#76 ·
lonegardener said:Mindset? Good grief.

So, you were basically just lacking faith and hope... well, damn. 🤷 Honestly, I get where you're coming from, LOL, if we use some totally wild analogies...

🤣
You missed my point entirely.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.🙂
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#77 ·
slywolf45 said:Exactly.
It’s not like I’m into women just because of what's between their legs, and a woman isn't straight simply because of a man's equipment.
There are plenty of variables at play here, but the decisive factor is really the psychological makeup of both parties.🙂

I certainly grasp the concept of loving someone for their inner beauty (or even their outward appearance 😁), yet we cannot ignore the reality that one group of people gravitates exclusively toward the same sex, while another seeks partners of the opposite sex. It would be naive to pretend that gender doesn't play a fundamental role in this entire dynamic. This leads me to wonder: if you identify as a lesbian, could you realistically function sexually with a man? 😕
The reason I ask is that I find the distinction somewhat confusing. Having experienced both, I find that I much prefer sex with men, and it would genuinely hurt my pride if a man were to reject me simply because I chose him based on sexual preference rather than anything else. 😢
lonegardener lonegardener Regular
347 messages
joined Apr 2010
#78 ·
slywolf45 Asks:
You hit the nail on the head. But I’m guessing you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand, too.🤣

Honestly, I don't even need to use my fingers to count them. 😂

slywolf45 said:You hit the nail on the head. Though, I suspect you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand.🤣
Alright, let's be honest here.🙂
Yes, my close friends tend to be, shall we say, a bit more liberal than the general population. I suppose that's fair.
But, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve actually had people—people I’m not even particularly close to, let alone those I'd expect to hold such views—make those kinds of admissions to me. It wasn't just an impression; it was explicit.
That’s just how you come across. It’s about perception. My perception, at least, and I suspect it's shared by many others. If you aren't aware of that, it might just mean you haven't quite mastered the art of looking at yourself from an outside perspective.

Fair enough.🤣

You’re right. There's actually a really interesting psychological phenomenon at play here. It’s like how my brother tells me, "Every single time I ask you to do something, you find a way to mess it up." But why does he say that? Because his focus is entirely centered on those rare... 😬It seems like people only notice when I actually screw things up. When I get it right? They just take it for granted and don't even blink. Think about it...
slywolf45 slywolf45 Regular
299 messages
joined Apr 2016
#79 ·
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole florine situation. It’s one of those topics that seems straightforward on the surface, but once you start peeling back the layers—much like an onion, or perhaps more accurately, like a particularly stubborn layer of old paint on a mid-century modern sideboard—you realize there’s a lot more complexity than the casual observer might think. It’s easy to get swept up in the immediate implications, but if we step back and look at the broader landscape, the nuances become much harder to ignore. It isn't just about the singular event; it's about the systemic ripples it sends through the entire structure. One might compare it to how a minor change in interest rates by the Federal Reserve can send shockwaves through the housing market in a city like Chicago—suddenly, everything feels a bit more precarious. kaže:
So, what you're essentially asking is whether someone who identifies as a lesbian could actually find sexual compatibility with a man. It’s an interesting question, though I suspect the answer depends entirely on how one defines "functioning" in that context. If we're talking about the mechanics of it, biology is a funny thing, but if we're talking about genuine, holistic connection, the labels usually exist for a reason. It's like asking if a high-end electric sedan can suddenly decide it wants to run on diesel just because the pump is available—it might physically move, but it wasn't built for that fuel, and the whole system isn't designed to handle it. 😕

Hmm... no, I don't think I could manage that.
Not anymore.
It isn’t just about his toolkit, though. Honestly, I could see myself being part of some three-person FMF crew, for instance. But just me and that guy? That sounds like a hard sell. I think I’d need a little extra motivation to make that happen.😁

I’m asking because I can’t quite wrap my head around this... I’ve experienced both sides of the coin, and if I’m being honest, I much prefer sex with men. It would actually be devastating to be rejected by a man simply because he couldn't handle the fact that I chose him specifically because I enjoy intimacy with him more than I do with women. 😢

I suppose you aren't exactly thrilled about it, then? Just sex. That’s really all there is to it. Are there more men out there? It’s one of those questions that seems simple on the surface, but once you start peeling back the layers, you realize how much depends on whether you're looking at raw data or just walking through a crowded Starbucks on a Tuesday morning. If we’re talking strictly about the numbers—looking at the census data or general population statistics here in the States—it’s actually quite close to a wash, though historically, men have held a slight edge. However, as life expectancy trends shift, that balance starts to wobble. You see it in almost every major US city; the demographics fluctuate depending on whether you're in a college town or a retirement community in Florida. But I suspect the question isn't really asking for a math lesson. Usually, when people ask this, they’re sensing an imbalance in their own social circles or dating apps. It’s that feeling that everywhere you turn—whether it's a packed gym in Chicago or a local pub—the ratio feels skewed. It’s like being at a concert where the crowd is overwhelmingly one way; the perception of "more" is often driven by our immediate environment rather than the national average. So, is it true? Numerically, it's a toss-up. Socially? That depends entirely on where you're standing.
I suspect there’s a bit more to the story than just the surface level... it feels like an entire emotional and mental package wrapped up in one. Wouldn't you agree?🤷

lonegardener said:
slywolf45 Asks:
You hit the nail on the head. But I’m guessing you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand, too.🤣

Honestly, I don't even need to use my fingers to count them. 😂

You’re right. There's actually a really interesting psychological phenomenon at play here. It’s like how my brother tells me, "Every single time I ask you to do something, you find a way to mess it up." But why does he say that? Because his focus is entirely centered on those rare... 😬It seems like people only notice when I actually screw things up. When I get it right? They just take it for granted and don't even blink. Think about it...

I just can't.
It seems like nobody here actually bothers to focus on the psychological aspect of anything.
Good grief, it feels like I’m reading *The Secret*. 😬
hiddenhound3 hiddenhound3 Regular
309 messages
joined Feb 2018
#80 ·
slywolf45 said:
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole florine situation. It’s one of those topics that seems straightforward on the surface, but once you start peeling back the layers—much like an onion, or perhaps more accurately, like a particularly stubborn layer of old paint on a mid-century modern sideboard—you realize there’s a lot more complexity than the casual observer might think. It’s easy to get swept up in the immediate implications, but if we step back and look at the broader landscape, the nuances become much harder to ignore. It isn't just about the singular event; it's about the systemic ripples it sends through the entire structure. One might compare it to how a minor change in interest rates by the Federal Reserve can send shockwaves through the housing market in a city like Chicago—suddenly, everything feels a bit more precarious. kaže:
So, what you're essentially asking is whether someone who identifies as a lesbian could actually find sexual compatibility with a man. It’s an interesting question, though I suspect the answer depends entirely on how one defines "functioning" in that context. If we're talking about the mechanics of it, biology is a funny thing, but if we're talking about genuine, holistic connection, the labels usually exist for a reason. It's like asking if a high-end electric sedan can suddenly decide it wants to run on diesel just because the pump is available—it might physically move, but it wasn't built for that fuel, and the whole system isn't designed to handle it. 😕

Hmm... no, I don't think I could manage that.
Not anymore.
It isn’t just about his toolkit, though. Honestly, I could see myself being part of some three-person FMF crew, for instance. But just me and that guy? That sounds like a hard sell. I think I’d need a little extra motivation to make that happen.😁

I’m asking because I can’t quite wrap my head around this... I’ve experienced both sides of the coin, and if I’m being honest, I much prefer sex with men. It would actually be devastating to be rejected by a man simply because he couldn't handle the fact that I chose him specifically because I enjoy intimacy with him more than I do with women. 😢

I suppose you aren't exactly thrilled about it, then? Just sex. That’s really all there is to it. Are there more men out there? It’s one of those questions that seems simple on the surface, but once you start peeling back the layers, you realize how much depends on whether you're looking at raw data or just walking through a crowded Starbucks on a Tuesday morning. If we’re talking strictly about the numbers—looking at the census data or general population statistics here in the States—it’s actually quite close to a wash, though historically, men have held a slight edge. However, as life expectancy trends shift, that balance starts to wobble. You see it in almost every major US city; the demographics fluctuate depending on whether you're in a college town or a retirement community in Florida. But I suspect the question isn't really asking for a math lesson. Usually, when people ask this, they’re sensing an imbalance in their own social circles or dating apps. It’s that feeling that everywhere you turn—whether it's a packed gym in Chicago or a local pub—the ratio feels skewed. It’s like being at a concert where the crowd is overwhelmingly one way; the perception of "more" is often driven by our immediate environment rather than the national average. So, is it true? Numerically, it's a toss-up. Socially? That depends entirely on where you're standing.
I suspect there’s a bit more to the story than just the surface level... it feels like an entire emotional and mental package wrapped up in one. Wouldn't you agree?🤷

I just can't.
It seems like nobody here actually bothers to focus on the psychological aspect of anything.
Good grief, it feels like I’m reading *The Secret*. 😬

Not at all. I am capable of loving someone for who they are with equal passion, regardless of their gender. That is precisely why I find myself feeling so conflicted. My closest friend is gay, though he hasn't always been; his early experiences were entirely with women, yet for the last fifteen years or so, he has only been with men. He once mentioned to me that, psychologically speaking, he finds men to be much harsher, which leads him to actually prefer the temperament typically found in women.

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