Exploring lesbian experimentation in your early 20s?

hiddenhound3 said:Not at all. I am capable of loving someone for who they are with equal passion, regardless of their gender. That is precisely why I find myself feeling so conflicted. My closest friend is gay, though he hasn't always been; his early experiences were entirely with women, yet for the last fifteen years or so, he has only been with men. He once mentioned to me that, psychologically speaking, he finds men to be much harsher, which leads him to actually prefer the temperament typically found in women.

Ha, see? There goes that old cliché again... I honestly don't know how to respond to that.
The whole "there are a hundred people, a hundred different personalities" thing?🤷
For me, I just can't feel that same spark for both men and women. In fact, I can't really love men at all. You know what I mean—romantically.😁
I could probably go out and have a fling with a guy, but there wouldn't be anything deeper than that.

As for your gay friend... he claims to prefer a "feminine temperament," yet he stays in relationships with men. It’s funny how often we reach for the very things we criticize at first glance. If he actually found someone with a purely "feminine character"—not that I even know what that truly entails, since women can be just as fierce and somewhat ruthless—he’d likely be bored within a week.

slywolf45 said:What exactly am I seeing differently?🤷

No, but it doesn't mean they weren't either. 😉
You pick up on a lot more things when you're right in the thick of it—if that's even how you'd put it. You hear way more than you do when you're straight.😉

My sister’s best friend is a lesbian. To her, it’s completely unremarkable that most of her friends aren't, just as it's perfectly normal to them that she is.
On the flip side, the biggest blow my sister ever took was when her ex confessed he’d cheated on her with a man. So, while her best friend is gay and she holds zero prejudice against her orientation—they talk about it like any other topic—she would never, ever date a bisexual man again. 😉
So, it's not like I'm entirely out of the loop.

hiddenhound3 said:Not at all. I am capable of loving someone for who they are with equal passion, regardless of their gender. That is precisely why I find myself feeling so conflicted. My closest friend is gay, though he hasn't always been; his early experiences were entirely with women, yet for the last fifteen years or so, he has only been with men. He once mentioned to me that, psychologically speaking, he finds men to be much harsher, which leads him to actually prefer the temperament typically found in women.

Yeah, I feel the exact same way. Except for me, men don't do anything for me sexually. It's strictly women for me!🤣

Alex Patel96 said:Yeah, I feel the exact same way. Except for me, men don't do anything for me sexually. It's strictly women for me!🤣

It seems we are facing two sides of the exact same coin, just mirrored in opposite directions.🤣 It is a bit of a whirlwind, really—a complete reversal of circumstances.

slywolf45 said:Ha, see? There goes that old cliché again... I honestly don't know how to respond to that.
The whole "there are a hundred people, a hundred different personalities" thing?🤷
For me, I just can't feel that same spark for both men and women. In fact, I can't really love men at all. You know what I mean—romantically.😁
I could probably go out and have a fling with a guy, but there wouldn't be anything deeper than that.

As for your gay friend... he claims to prefer a "feminine temperament," yet he stays in relationships with men. It’s funny how often we reach for the very things we criticize at first glance. If he actually found someone with a purely "feminine character"—not that I even know what that truly entails, since women can be just as fierce and somewhat ruthless—he’d likely be bored within a week.

In my estimation, there truly are no set rules when it comes to matters of the heart.😍

Sean Cruz said:My sister’s best friend is a lesbian. To her, it’s completely unremarkable that most of her friends aren't, just as it's perfectly normal to them that she is.
On the flip side, the biggest blow my sister ever took was when her ex confessed he’d cheated on her with a man. So, while her best friend is gay and she holds zero prejudice against her orientation—they talk about it like any other topic—she would never, ever date a bisexual man again. 😉
So, it's not like I'm entirely out of the loop.

And yet, somehow, I'm the one finding it abnormal?
I’m simply pointing out that people tend to open up to me far more readily once they realize I'm part of the community.

On the flip side, the real gut punch for my sister was when her ex admitted he’d cheated on her with another man. So, while her best friend is gay and there’s zero judgment regarding her orientation—they talk about it like it’s nothing—she would never, ever date a bisexual man again. 😉
It’s not like I’m exactly out of the loop.

So what?
For most Americans, having a partner confess to cheating with someone of the same sex would be a massive blow regardless of anything else.
It isn't some strange phenomenon. It doesn't matter whether you're trending or not.

hiddenhound3 said:It seems we are facing two sides of the exact same coin, just mirrored in opposite directions.🤣 It is a bit of a whirlwind, really—a complete reversal of circumstances.

In my estimation, there truly are no set rules when it comes to matters of the heart.😍

Of course there aren't any rules.
There’s a school of thought that suggests you don't fall for a gender, but rather for the individual itself. I suspect you might lean toward that philosophy.
Personally, I also find myself falling for the person, though in my case, that person always happens to be a woman.🤣

hiddenhound3 said:I certainly grasp the concept of loving someone for their inner beauty (or even their outward appearance 😁), yet we cannot ignore the reality that one group of people gravitates exclusively toward the same sex, while another seeks partners of the opposite sex. It would be naive to pretend that gender doesn't play a fundamental role in this entire dynamic. This leads me to wonder: if you identify as a lesbian, could you realistically function sexually with a man? 😕
The reason I ask is that I find the distinction somewhat confusing. Having experienced both, I find that I much prefer sex with men, and it would genuinely hurt my pride if a man were to reject me simply because I chose him based on sexual preference rather than anything else. 😢

😍 This version is a bit softer, but I still don't agree. Earlier, you basically boiled "sex" down to just "a dick." LOL. If that's really all you need from a man... then I'm surprised it could "hurt your feelings" when someone doesn't find that particularly impressive.🤣

Look, like I said, this take is a little milder, but I'm still not a fan. Regardless, there's no rule saying I have to agree. And you don't have to like my perspective either. 🤷

slywolf45 said:And yet, somehow, I'm the one finding it abnormal?
I’m simply pointing out that people tend to open up to me far more readily once they realize I'm part of the community.

On the flip side, the real gut punch for my sister was when her ex admitted he’d cheated on her with another man. So, while her best friend is gay and there’s zero judgment regarding her orientation—they talk about it like it’s nothing—she would never, ever date a bisexual man again. 😉
It’s not like I’m exactly out of the loop.

So what?
For most Americans, having a partner confess to cheating with someone of the same sex would be a massive blow regardless of anything else.
It isn't some strange phenomenon. It doesn't matter whether you're trending or not.

I suspect this occurs because much of the American public remains somewhat skeptical of such matters, and consequently, individuals hesitate to shock others by sharing their personal experiences too abruptly. On the other hand, it is quite possible that sharing this part of your identity actually fosters a sense of trust.

slywolf45 said:Of course there aren't any rules.
There’s a school of thought that suggests you don't fall for a gender, but rather for the individual itself. I suspect you might lean toward that philosophy.
Personally, I also find myself falling for the person, though in my case, that person always happens to be a woman.🤣

I must admit, I also find myself falling in love with flowers.🤣

slywolf45 said:🤣
You missed my point entirely.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.🙂

I did. I just decided to look the other way. 😬

slywolf45 said:And yet, somehow, I'm the one finding it abnormal?
I’m simply pointing out that people tend to open up to me far more readily once they realize I'm part of the community.

On the flip side, the real gut punch for my sister was when her ex admitted he’d cheated on her with another man. So, while her best friend is gay and there’s zero judgment regarding her orientation—they talk about it like it’s nothing—she would never, ever date a bisexual man again. 😉
It’s not like I’m exactly out of the loop.

So what?
For most Americans, having a partner confess to cheating with someone of the same sex would be a massive blow regardless of anything else.
It isn't some strange phenomenon. It doesn't matter whether you're trending or not.

No, that isn't what I wrote. I was responding to your claim about being "better equipped" to understand because you're gay while I'm straight. Fine, maybe people have confided in you, but that doesn't make them the "majority."

Yeah, and? For most people, finding out their partner cheated on them with someone of the same sex would be a massive blow.
It isn't anything unusual. Regardless of whether you are in the middle of it or not.

But that is exactly my point. If we all shared the same preferences, why would cheating with someone of the same sex be so much harder to swallow than cheating with someone of the opposite sex?

lonegardener said:😍 This version is a bit softer, but I still don't agree. Earlier, you basically boiled "sex" down to just "a dick." LOL. If that's really all you need from a man... then I'm surprised it could "hurt your feelings" when someone doesn't find that particularly impressive.🤣

Look, like I said, this take is a little milder, but I'm still not a fan. Regardless, there's no rule saying I have to agree. And you don't have to like my perspective either. 🤷

You seem to be missing my point—I make no distinction between men and women in terms of value or importance; I hold both equally in high regard. To me, the only meaningful distinction lies in biological equipment. There is nothing inherently offensive about that observation, and since we aren't exactly looking to snub one another here, my particular viewpoint shouldn't carry much weight for you anyway.

slywolf45 said:Of course there aren't any rules.
There’s a school of thought that suggests you don't fall for a gender, but rather for the individual itself. I suspect you might lean toward that philosophy.
Personally, I also find myself falling for the person, though in my case, that person always happens to be a woman.🤣

I disagree. There are absolutely rules. It's just that most of them—if not all of them—are silently understood.

hiddenhound3 said:I suspect this occurs because much of the American public remains somewhat skeptical of such matters, and consequently, individuals hesitate to shock others by sharing their personal experiences too abruptly. On the other hand, it is quite possible that sharing this part of your identity actually fosters a sense of trust.

Exactly. That’s precisely the point I’ve been making this entire time.

hiddenhound3 said:I must admit, I also find myself falling in love with flowers.🤣

Absolute disaster. They’re throwing it on the bonfire.🙂
I suppose I should come clean: I’m a bit of a florophobe. There’s just something about the way plants exist—all that silent, aggressive growth and unyielding photosynthesis—that feels deeply unsettling to me. It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it, but I prefer my greenery to be strictly digital or perhaps printed on high-quality cardstock. Real, breathing foliage? No thank you.😳) 😁

lonegardener said:I did. I just decided to look the other way. 😬

Yeah, I see you're reading this under the radar. 😬

lonegardener said:I disagree. There are absolutely rules. It's just that most of them—if not all of them—are silently understood.

Of course not. ☕

😛

hiddenhound3 said:You seem to be missing my point—I make no distinction between men and women in terms of value or importance; I hold both equally in high regard. To me, the only meaningful distinction lies in biological equipment. There is nothing inherently offensive about that observation, and since we aren't exactly looking to snub one another here, my particular viewpoint shouldn't carry much weight for you anyway.

I'm with them on this one!🙏
If only they didn't have that damn equipment...😢

slywolf45 said:Exactly. That’s precisely the point I’ve been making this entire time.

Absolute disaster. They’re throwing it on the bonfire.🙂
I suppose I should come clean: I’m a bit of a florophobe. There’s just something about the way plants exist—all that silent, aggressive growth and unyielding photosynthesis—that feels deeply unsettling to me. It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it, but I prefer my greenery to be strictly digital or perhaps printed on high-quality cardstock. Real, breathing foliage? No thank you.😳) 😁

Yeah, I see you're reading this under the radar. 😬

Of course not. ☕

😛

Are you teasing me? 😲

Sean Cruz said:No, that isn't what I wrote. I was responding to your claim about being "better equipped" to understand because you're gay while I'm straight. Fine, maybe people have confided in you, but that doesn't make them the "majority."

Yeah, and? For most people, finding out their partner cheated on them with someone of the same sex would be a massive blow.
It isn't anything unusual. Regardless of whether you are in the middle of it or not.

But that is exactly my point. If we all shared the same preferences, why would cheating with someone of the same sex be so much harder to swallow than cheating with someone of the opposite sex?

It isn't actually about what people are naturally drawn to.
At its core, this is entirely a matter of ego.

hiddenhound3 said:Are you teasing me? 😲

Not even remotely.☕

🤣

hiddenhound3 said:You seem to be missing my point—I make no distinction between men and women in terms of value or importance; I hold both equally in high regard. To me, the only meaningful distinction lies in biological equipment. There is nothing inherently offensive about that observation, and since we aren't exactly looking to snub one another here, my particular viewpoint shouldn't carry much weight for you anyway.

Look, we're just exchanging ideas. That’s all I meant. 😍

For the record, I absolutely see a difference between men and women. And saying it's "only" about anatomy is a total logical fallacy. It's incredibly simple to swap those parts out, so that claim doesn't hold water. Educate yourself. 🤣

slywolf45 clearly understands this much better than you do. She also recognizes a fundamental difference between men and women that goes way beyond just physical equipment.

Alex Patel96 said:I'm with them on this one!🙏
If only they didn't have that damn equipment...😢

Well, I suppose that is simply how we were designed by nature... 🤷 There isn't much one can do about it. On a side note, I happened to be watching an episode of Dr. House the other day, and there was a segment discussing how Gen Z individuals tend to be generally lost and disoriented, lacking decisiveness and clearly defined boundaries...

hiddenhound3 said:Well, I suppose that is simply how we were designed by nature... 🤷 There isn't much one can do about it. On a side note, I happened to be watching an episode of Dr. House the other day, and there was a segment discussing how Gen Z individuals tend to be generally lost and disoriented, lacking decisiveness and clearly defined boundaries...

That’s a pretty accurate description of me!🤣 But wait, does that make me a Gen Zer if men don't even interest me sexually?!😕