Dealing with jealousy

steeltiger2 said:I truly believe there’s a progression here, if you want my honest take: first, you have that initial spark where you're basically falling for an idealized version of someone you've built up in your head—what most people just call being "infatuated." Then comes actual infatuation, where those qualities stop feeling imaginary and start becoming a real part of your daily life; you become convinced this person is completely incomparable to anyone else because they possess this specific, unique magic just for you.
And thirdly, there's that deep, enduring love where the infatuation stays woven into the affection—it's love plus that lingering spark. It’s when that person still holds that "something special" above everyone else, even though you actually know them now, flaws and all. It’s finding it sweet to see them looking like a total mess in the morning, or seeing them at their absolute lowest, vulnerable and defeated, and still thinking they're wonderful.

If I weren't feeling that infatuation anymore and was just deeply in love with my boyfriend, I suppose I could fall for someone else... because that specific spark is exactly what I look for in the person I'm with. Otherwise, I can just love a friend, I guess.
But honestly, I don't really know how he views this whole thing. That's why I'm worried—that maybe he just loves me without that infatuation. People always say that tired, boring old cliché: "infatuation fades into love," and they talk about it like it's some dull, predictable transition that kills the magic.
In my eyes, if you love someone but the infatuation or that sense of wonder is gone, then it’s just habit, not true love. I don't think real love between a man and a woman can exist without a constant dose of that infatuation—that ability to see something more in them than in anyone else. You can't just look at them with purely realistic eyes like you would any stranger; you need that perspective that makes your heart ache just by looking at them sometimes. And if you don't feel that, how are you even supposed to be jealous?

That fascination? It’s nothing more than being head over heels. Basically, you lose yourself in someone else—usually because you're caught up in that illusion where a frog suddenly turns into a prince. You become obsessed with the object of your affection, desperately praying they feel the exact same way.

Let's be real about falling in love. At its core, it’s driven by an overwhelming surge of desire—specifically, sex. Sure, people like to hide behind those soft, flowery descriptions of romance, but the root of it all? It's a burning need for physical intimacy and those frequent, "funny little movements" that come with connecting with someone.

When you fall deeply in love, there’s this intense emotional hunger that takes over. You crave total connection—you want that person to be entirely yours, and you want to belong completely to them, too. It’s about fulfilling every single emotional need. But if you add a spiritual dimension to it? Then falling in love isn't just some random occurrence. That person becomes your soul mate. They are sent by God; they are your other half. Through them, we practice a temporary taste of bliss here on Earth, preparing ourselves for eternal bliss in Heaven. When everything is sealed with God's blessing, it offers a glimpse of the infinite—a promise of everlasting joy through complete physical, emotional, and spiritual unity.

See you tomorrow!

It’s fun, sure. Just like bungee jumping—you get that massive rush of adrenaline and endorphins, but it's fleeting. That feeling of the wind in your hair, that momentary flight? It's temporary. And more often than not, it fades away leaving nothing but drama and finger-pointing in its wake. The high usually dies down fast. Unless there is a foundation built on the art of love—specifically, a love for oneself—it just won't turn into anything lasting.

The art of love. Jealous people always seem to suffer from that one crushing deficiency.It might lack raw passion, but it offers something better: peace, composure, and genuine tenderness. It doesn’t peddle those fake promises of "I’ll be yours until death do us part, and then we'll spend eternity in heaven together..." Instead, it builds self-respect, clarity regarding our own worth, confidence, and—above all else—self-sufficiency. Sure, there isn't any sexual "aaahhhhh" or "mmmmmm" involved, but it actually makes us more sensual. We start to crave ourselves and others. By learning how to truly love and care for ourselves, we learn how to love and care for everyone else. And sometimes? We take care of them *soooo* well that we shamelessly enjoy every second of it. The only difference is that, in that moment, loving others becomes just another way of loving ourselves.

Falling in love? It’s basically a mental health episode—a very, very pleasant one, sure, but it's caused by being high on your own hormones. It completely warps your perception of reality. Telling someone their issue is "jealousy," rather than pointing out that the actual problem is the infatuation itself—along with that programmed, romanticized idea of what "love" should be—is like trying to give advice on how to stop hallucinations while someone is tripping on heavy drugs.

We’re all programmed from day one to believe in the illusion of romantic love. It’s the exact same cultural conditioning that makes us believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. They teach us to hunt for that "one special person" who will finally make us whole—someone we supposedly need exclusively. We're told they have to be ours and ours alone, never looking at anyone else, never leaving our side, and staying that way until death do us part.

Humans have this endless capacity to lie to themselves, even when the truth is staring us right in the face:🙂 nobody belongs to us, and we don't belong to anyone. Once you realize that absolutely no one—and I mean no one—is yours to own, you'll experience the sheer lightness that comes from NON-POSSESSIVENESS. You simply can't be jealous if you aren't possessive. And honestly? Only someone who isn't possessive can truly love. In real love, all you want is what's best for the other person. In that romanticized, fake version of love, all you want is to keep that person exclusively for yourself.

Sandra Morgan2 said:That fascination? It’s nothing more than being head over heels. Basically, you lose yourself in someone else—usually because you're caught up in that illusion where a frog suddenly turns into a prince. You become obsessed with the object of your affection, desperately praying they feel the exact same way.

Let's be real about falling in love. At its core, it’s driven by an overwhelming surge of desire—specifically, sex. Sure, people like to hide behind those soft, flowery descriptions of romance, but the root of it all? It's a burning need for physical intimacy and those frequent, "funny little movements" that come with connecting with someone.

When you fall deeply in love, there’s this intense emotional hunger that takes over. You crave total connection—you want that person to be entirely yours, and you want to belong completely to them, too. It’s about fulfilling every single emotional need. But if you add a spiritual dimension to it? Then falling in love isn't just some random occurrence. That person becomes your soul mate. They are sent by God; they are your other half. Through them, we practice a temporary taste of bliss here on Earth, preparing ourselves for eternal bliss in Heaven. When everything is sealed with God's blessing, it offers a glimpse of the infinite—a promise of everlasting joy through complete physical, emotional, and spiritual unity.

See you tomorrow!

It’s fun, sure. Just like bungee jumping—you get that massive rush of adrenaline and endorphins, but it's fleeting. That feeling of the wind in your hair, that momentary flight? It's temporary. And more often than not, it fades away leaving nothing but drama and finger-pointing in its wake. The high usually dies down fast. Unless there is a foundation built on the art of love—specifically, a love for oneself—it just won't turn into anything lasting.

The art of love. Jealous people always seem to suffer from that one crushing deficiency.It might lack raw passion, but it offers something better: peace, composure, and genuine tenderness. It doesn’t peddle those fake promises of "I’ll be yours until death do us part, and then we'll spend eternity in heaven together..." Instead, it builds self-respect, clarity regarding our own worth, confidence, and—above all else—self-sufficiency. Sure, there isn't any sexual "aaahhhhh" or "mmmmmm" involved, but it actually makes us more sensual. We start to crave ourselves and others. By learning how to truly love and care for ourselves, we learn how to love and care for everyone else. And sometimes? We take care of them *soooo* well that we shamelessly enjoy every second of it. The only difference is that, in that moment, loving others becomes just another way of loving ourselves.

Falling in love? It’s basically a mental health episode—a very, very pleasant one, sure, but it's caused by being high on your own hormones. It completely warps your perception of reality. Telling someone their issue is "jealousy," rather than pointing out that the actual problem is the infatuation itself—along with that programmed, romanticized idea of what "love" should be—is like trying to give advice on how to stop hallucinations while someone is tripping on heavy drugs.

We’re all programmed from day one to believe in the illusion of romantic love. It’s the exact same cultural conditioning that makes us believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. They teach us to hunt for that "one special person" who will finally make us whole—someone we supposedly need exclusively. We're told they have to be ours and ours alone, never looking at anyone else, never leaving our side, and staying that way until death do us part.

Humans have this endless capacity to lie to themselves, even when the truth is staring us right in the face:🙂 nobody belongs to us, and we don't belong to anyone. Once you realize that absolutely no one—and I mean no one—is yours to own, you'll experience the sheer lightness that comes from NON-POSSESSIVENESS. You simply can't be jealous if you aren't possessive. And honestly? Only someone who isn't possessive can truly love. In real love, all you want is what's best for the other person. In that romanticized, fake version of love, all you want is to keep that person exclusively for yourself.

Are you even human? 😬

lonegardener said:Are you even human? 😬

I am every bit a woman... 🥳 🙂

Sandra Morgan2 said:I am every bit a woman... 🥳 🙂

Just how much self-deception can you handle? 😍

Sandra Morgan2 said:That fascination? It’s nothing more than being head over heels. Basically, you lose yourself in someone else—usually because you're caught up in that illusion where a frog suddenly turns into a prince. You become obsessed with the object of your affection, desperately praying they feel the exact same way.

Let's be real about falling in love. At its core, it’s driven by an overwhelming surge of desire—specifically, sex. Sure, people like to hide behind those soft, flowery descriptions of romance, but the root of it all? It's a burning need for physical intimacy and those frequent, "funny little movements" that come with connecting with someone.

When you fall deeply in love, there’s this intense emotional hunger that takes over. You crave total connection—you want that person to be entirely yours, and you want to belong completely to them, too. It’s about fulfilling every single emotional need. But if you add a spiritual dimension to it? Then falling in love isn't just some random occurrence. That person becomes your soul mate. They are sent by God; they are your other half. Through them, we practice a temporary taste of bliss here on Earth, preparing ourselves for eternal bliss in Heaven. When everything is sealed with God's blessing, it offers a glimpse of the infinite—a promise of everlasting joy through complete physical, emotional, and spiritual unity.

See you tomorrow!

It’s fun, sure. Just like bungee jumping—you get that massive rush of adrenaline and endorphins, but it's fleeting. That feeling of the wind in your hair, that momentary flight? It's temporary. And more often than not, it fades away leaving nothing but drama and finger-pointing in its wake. The high usually dies down fast. Unless there is a foundation built on the art of love—specifically, a love for oneself—it just won't turn into anything lasting.

The art of love. Jealous people always seem to suffer from that one crushing deficiency.It might lack raw passion, but it offers something better: peace, composure, and genuine tenderness. It doesn’t peddle those fake promises of "I’ll be yours until death do us part, and then we'll spend eternity in heaven together..." Instead, it builds self-respect, clarity regarding our own worth, confidence, and—above all else—self-sufficiency. Sure, there isn't any sexual "aaahhhhh" or "mmmmmm" involved, but it actually makes us more sensual. We start to crave ourselves and others. By learning how to truly love and care for ourselves, we learn how to love and care for everyone else. And sometimes? We take care of them *soooo* well that we shamelessly enjoy every second of it. The only difference is that, in that moment, loving others becomes just another way of loving ourselves.

Falling in love? It’s basically a mental health episode—a very, very pleasant one, sure, but it's caused by being high on your own hormones. It completely warps your perception of reality. Telling someone their issue is "jealousy," rather than pointing out that the actual problem is the infatuation itself—along with that programmed, romanticized idea of what "love" should be—is like trying to give advice on how to stop hallucinations while someone is tripping on heavy drugs.

We’re all programmed from day one to believe in the illusion of romantic love. It’s the exact same cultural conditioning that makes us believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. They teach us to hunt for that "one special person" who will finally make us whole—someone we supposedly need exclusively. We're told they have to be ours and ours alone, never looking at anyone else, never leaving our side, and staying that way until death do us part.

Humans have this endless capacity to lie to themselves, even when the truth is staring us right in the face:🙂 nobody belongs to us, and we don't belong to anyone. Once you realize that absolutely no one—and I mean no one—is yours to own, you'll experience the sheer lightness that comes from NON-POSSESSIVENESS. You simply can't be jealous if you aren't possessive. And honestly? Only someone who isn't possessive can truly love. In real love, all you want is what's best for the other person. In that romanticized, fake version of love, all you want is to keep that person exclusively for yourself.

I’ve never been the jealous type. Not once. And possessiveness? That’s just not in my DNA. I've always been pretty laid back about these things. But this... this is different. This is the first time I've ever actually felt this way about someone. It's a total first for me.
Look, I’m not some wide-eyed dreamer drifting through life, lost in some fantasy world or obsessed with uncovering all the little mysteries of the hormonal system. Not me.
It’s just how I feel after everything that's happened. Honestly, there's no other way to put it. I’ve loved quite a few others before this—not an overwhelming amount, mind you, just a handful—but it was more than enough to help me realize a few things about life.
That’s just who I am. Some people are just overly sentimental—they sit there crying over some sappy Hollywood drama while I’m just watching, totally baffled. Then you have the realists, the ones who think they've got life all figured out. And don't even get me started on that fourth group; those people view the art of love as nothing more than a chemical glitch or some selfish urge to satisfy their own basic needs. It's quite a spectrum, really.
Love shouldn't be that way. Honestly, I wasn't trying to suggest that jealousy is just some natural part of the equation—it isn't. It’s a sickness. Pure and simple.
But my love isn't some kind of sickness. Are you actually suggesting that I need to fall in love a bit more "realistically" just to get rid of this jealousy?

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. Honestly, if anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I mean, look—I’m constantly checking in on him, wondering how he’s actually doing, and his feelings are what really matter to me. I would never, ever let some trivial little distraction or a night out cause him to spiral that far. I won't ever let him reach a point where he feels like cutting his wrists just because of something silly I did. It's about priority. It really is.
His thoughts and feelings actually matter to me. I really do sit there and weigh them, you know? That’s why I end up feeling more jealous than someone who doesn't even bother to stop and think about things.
If I’m looking for someone just for me—and I don't mean that in some possessive, suffocating way where I view them as an extension of myself rather than their own person—well, I’d probably end up falling for a total pushover. There are plenty of them out there, honestly. I even respect some of them as individuals, but I could never actually be with one. Why? Because I value my own independence too much. I need my partner to have a rock-solid sense of self. That's the only way we can truly experience the art of love.
When you get up to a penthouse level, you just get a better view of the skyline. That’s really all there is to it. And honestly, that jealousy people feel? It isn't just about my somewhat fairytale notion regarding the art of love and two souls becoming one, or whatever... it goes deeper than that. It’s all deeply tied to my fundamental worldview—how I see life unfolding, really, and more importantly, how I view people as a whole.It’s not even about that... I mean, I'm not exactly sitting here pining away for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to swoop in and give me those dreamy, lingering glances—you know, the kind where he only blinks like that for me, and absolutely nobody else. Just me. That's the dream, isn't it?

Of course, at the end of the day, that raw, primal drive for sex is the core of it all—it’s just biology, plain and simple. But honestly? People are far too messy and complicated for that to be the whole story. Everything bleeds into everything else. It’s all tangled up. You can't just take one thread and pull it out to study it under a microscope without unraveling the entire tapestry. You can't dissect sex, or love, or even someone's jealousy as if they were isolated specimens in a lab. It’s all one big, interconnected web. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

"Quote:"

steeltiger2 said:I’ve never been the jealous type. Not once. And possessiveness? That’s just not in my DNA. I've always been pretty laid back about these things. But this... this is different. This is the first time I've ever actually felt this way about someone. It's a total first for me.
Look, I’m not some wide-eyed dreamer drifting through life, lost in some fantasy world or obsessed with uncovering all the little mysteries of the hormonal system. Not me.
It’s just how I feel after everything that's happened. Honestly, there's no other way to put it. I’ve loved quite a few others before this—not an overwhelming amount, mind you, just a handful—but it was more than enough to help me realize a few things about life.
That’s just who I am. Some people are just overly sentimental—they sit there crying over some sappy Hollywood drama while I’m just watching, totally baffled. Then you have the realists, the ones who think they've got life all figured out. And don't even get me started on that fourth group; those people view the art of love as nothing more than a chemical glitch or some selfish urge to satisfy their own basic needs. It's quite a spectrum, really.
Love shouldn't be that way. Honestly, I wasn't trying to suggest that jealousy is just some natural part of the equation—it isn't. It’s a sickness. Pure and simple.
But my love isn't some kind of sickness. Are you actually suggesting that I need to fall in love a bit more "realistically" just to get rid of this jealousy?

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. Honestly, if anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I mean, look—I’m constantly checking in on him, wondering how he’s actually doing, and his feelings are what really matter to me. I would never, ever let some trivial little distraction or a night out cause him to spiral that far. I won't ever let him reach a point where he feels like cutting his wrists just because of something silly I did. It's about priority. It really is.
His thoughts and feelings actually matter to me. I really do sit there and weigh them, you know? That’s why I end up feeling more jealous than someone who doesn't even bother to stop and think about things.
If I’m looking for someone just for me—and I don't mean that in some possessive, suffocating way where I view them as an extension of myself rather than their own person—well, I’d probably end up falling for a total pushover. There are plenty of them out there, honestly. I even respect some of them as individuals, but I could never actually be with one. Why? Because I value my own independence too much. I need my partner to have a rock-solid sense of self. That's the only way we can truly experience the art of love.
When you get up to a penthouse level, you just get a better view of the skyline. That’s really all there is to it. And honestly, that jealousy people feel? It isn't just about my somewhat fairytale notion regarding the art of love and two souls becoming one, or whatever... it goes deeper than that. It’s all deeply tied to my fundamental worldview—how I see life unfolding, really, and more importantly, how I view people as a whole.It’s not even about that... I mean, I'm not exactly sitting here pining away for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to swoop in and give me those dreamy, lingering glances—you know, the kind where he only blinks like that for me, and absolutely nobody else. Just me. That's the dream, isn't it?

Of course, at the end of the day, that raw, primal drive for sex is the core of it all—it’s just biology, plain and simple. But honestly? People are far too messy and complicated for that to be the whole story. Everything bleeds into everything else. It’s all tangled up. You can't just take one thread and pull it out to study it under a microscope without unraveling the entire tapestry. You can't dissect sex, or love, or even someone's jealousy as if they were isolated specimens in a lab. It’s all one big, interconnected web. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

🙂No, your love isn't some kind of sickness. Love is never a disease... Jealousy is just a symptom of something much deeper, which is exactly what I was trying to get across in that provocative post: you don't love yourself. It's also a sign that you haven't even learned how to love anyone else.

Jealousy is really just a mask for the fear that you aren't enough. It’s a scavenger. It gathers up all this fake, imaginary data just to feed the lie that someone else is going to be more valued, more loved, or more wanted than you are. There’s only one way to actually heal from that: through the art of love directed at yourself. Because let’s be real—if you don't love who you are, you're never going to believe that anyone else could truly love you.

"Quote:"

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. If anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I’m constantly checking in on how he's feeling—that actually matters to me. And I would never, ever let some random fling or a night out be the reason he decides to end it all.

Cutting veins? What on earth were you doing, cutting your own veins?

The solution isn't about fixing his behavior. It’s not about how much he sacrifices, and it’s certainly not about changing who he is at his core. No, the answer lies entirely within you. You have to dive deep and find that specific place where the seeds of self-rejection were planted—that root cause of all your insecurities. Build your own emotional stability. Cultivate your own confidence. And finally, learn the art of love by loving yourself completely.

Since jealousy isn't usually your thing—it’s just not who you are—he’s acting as a catalyst. He’s pulling these hidden insecurities to the surface that you didn't even know existed. Honestly? He's teaching you about yourself. Don't waste energy being mad at him. Don't sit around waiting for him to change. Just focus on your own growth. Maybe this whole mess brings you two closer in a way you never expected, or maybe it finally proves he deserves to be kicked to the curb... whatever. Either way, by learning these lessons about yourself, you win. Whether you level up this relationship to a much deeper, more intimate stage or walk away from it entirely, you’re going to come out of this stronger and better than when you started.

When you move up to a penthouse, you get a better view of the skyline—it’s as simple as that. And all this jealousy? It isn't just about my fairy-tale notion of two souls becoming one, or anything like that. It's more than that. It all comes down to my worldview—how I see life, mainly, and how I view people in general.And it’s not like I’m sitting here pining for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to bat his eyelashes only when he catches my eye—and mine alone!

So what’s the actual issue if he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or engaging? What’s the problem if he catches sight of a fit body? It’s just unrealistic to expect someone's entire sexuality to revolve around one single person. Those are just instincts... you can't fight biology. At the end of the day, what matters is his actions—not some fleeting thought or a momentary spark of chemistry.

P.S. Obviously, the driving force is just that raw, natural sexual desire. But let’s face it—humans are complicated. Everything bleeds together. You can't just isolate one thing from another. You can't dissect sex, or love, or jealousy, like they're separate little objects on a lab table. It's all connected.

You're absolutely right... you can't view jealousy in a vacuum without looking at the whole person. But honestly? Its roots almost always lie in low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, possessiveness, and pure insecurity. Whether you realize it or not, in that moment, it colors your entire existence.

lonegardener said:Just how much self-deception can you handle? 😍

Once you finally see through the whole Santa Claus act, you stop hanging those stockings up by the window. 🙂

And once you know, without a shadow of a doubt,

that Cinderella was just a gold digger who married well,
that Sleeping Beauty was completely frigid,
that Little Red Riding Hood was nothing more than a flirt who didn't mind a dark forest or a scary wolf,
and that Snow White was probably sleeping around with all seven of them at once...

then everything changes. Nothing is ever the same.

Sandra Morgan2 said:That fascination? It’s nothing more than being head over heels. Basically, you lose yourself in someone else—usually because you're caught up in that illusion where a frog suddenly turns into a prince. You become obsessed with the object of your affection, desperately praying they feel the exact same way.

Let's be real about falling in love. At its core, it’s driven by an overwhelming surge of desire—specifically, sex. Sure, people like to hide behind those soft, flowery descriptions of romance, but the root of it all? It's a burning need for physical intimacy and those frequent, "funny little movements" that come with connecting with someone.

When you fall deeply in love, there’s this intense emotional hunger that takes over. You crave total connection—you want that person to be entirely yours, and you want to belong completely to them, too. It’s about fulfilling every single emotional need. But if you add a spiritual dimension to it? Then falling in love isn't just some random occurrence. That person becomes your soul mate. They are sent by God; they are your other half. Through them, we practice a temporary taste of bliss here on Earth, preparing ourselves for eternal bliss in Heaven. When everything is sealed with God's blessing, it offers a glimpse of the infinite—a promise of everlasting joy through complete physical, emotional, and spiritual unity.

See you tomorrow!

It’s fun, sure. Just like bungee jumping—you get that massive rush of adrenaline and endorphins, but it's fleeting. That feeling of the wind in your hair, that momentary flight? It's temporary. And more often than not, it fades away leaving nothing but drama and finger-pointing in its wake. The high usually dies down fast. Unless there is a foundation built on the art of love—specifically, a love for oneself—it just won't turn into anything lasting.

The art of love. Jealous people always seem to suffer from that one crushing deficiency.It might lack raw passion, but it offers something better: peace, composure, and genuine tenderness. It doesn’t peddle those fake promises of "I’ll be yours until death do us part, and then we'll spend eternity in heaven together..." Instead, it builds self-respect, clarity regarding our own worth, confidence, and—above all else—self-sufficiency. Sure, there isn't any sexual "aaahhhhh" or "mmmmmm" involved, but it actually makes us more sensual. We start to crave ourselves and others. By learning how to truly love and care for ourselves, we learn how to love and care for everyone else. And sometimes? We take care of them *soooo* well that we shamelessly enjoy every second of it. The only difference is that, in that moment, loving others becomes just another way of loving ourselves.

Falling in love? It’s basically a mental health episode—a very, very pleasant one, sure, but it's caused by being high on your own hormones. It completely warps your perception of reality. Telling someone their issue is "jealousy," rather than pointing out that the actual problem is the infatuation itself—along with that programmed, romanticized idea of what "love" should be—is like trying to give advice on how to stop hallucinations while someone is tripping on heavy drugs.

We’re all programmed from day one to believe in the illusion of romantic love. It’s the exact same cultural conditioning that makes us believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. They teach us to hunt for that "one special person" who will finally make us whole—someone we supposedly need exclusively. We're told they have to be ours and ours alone, never looking at anyone else, never leaving our side, and staying that way until death do us part.

Humans have this endless capacity to lie to themselves, even when the truth is staring us right in the face:🙂 nobody belongs to us, and we don't belong to anyone. Once you realize that absolutely no one—and I mean no one—is yours to own, you'll experience the sheer lightness that comes from NON-POSSESSIVENESS. You simply can't be jealous if you aren't possessive. And honestly? Only someone who isn't possessive can truly love. In real love, all you want is what's best for the other person. In that romanticized, fake version of love, all you want is to keep that person exclusively for yourself.

This is the ultimate truth about love, and if you don't feel this deep down in your gut, you haven't actually experienced the beauty of it!

The whole trick to killing off jealousy is realizing that nothing is yours, you can't hold onto anything for yourself, and everything can slip through your fingers in a heartbeat!😁

Being jealous? That was hands down the absolute worst, most soul-crushing feeling I've ever had to deal with in my life. But freedom? Man, freedom is the most incredible high you can experience while you're still breathing.🤣

Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"

🙂No, your love isn't some kind of sickness. Love is never a disease... Jealousy is just a symptom of something much deeper, which is exactly what I was trying to get across in that provocative post: you don't love yourself. It's also a sign that you haven't even learned how to love anyone else.

Jealousy is really just a mask for the fear that you aren't enough. It’s a scavenger. It gathers up all this fake, imaginary data just to feed the lie that someone else is going to be more valued, more loved, or more wanted than you are. There’s only one way to actually heal from that: through the art of love directed at yourself. Because let’s be real—if you don't love who you are, you're never going to believe that anyone else could truly love you.

"Quote:"

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. If anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I’m constantly checking in on how he's feeling—that actually matters to me. And I would never, ever let some random fling or a night out be the reason he decides to end it all.

Cutting veins? What on earth were you doing, cutting your own veins?

The solution isn't about fixing his behavior. It’s not about how much he sacrifices, and it’s certainly not about changing who he is at his core. No, the answer lies entirely within you. You have to dive deep and find that specific place where the seeds of self-rejection were planted—that root cause of all your insecurities. Build your own emotional stability. Cultivate your own confidence. And finally, learn the art of love by loving yourself completely.

Since jealousy isn't usually your thing—it’s just not who you are—he’s acting as a catalyst. He’s pulling these hidden insecurities to the surface that you didn't even know existed. Honestly? He's teaching you about yourself. Don't waste energy being mad at him. Don't sit around waiting for him to change. Just focus on your own growth. Maybe this whole mess brings you two closer in a way you never expected, or maybe it finally proves he deserves to be kicked to the curb... whatever. Either way, by learning these lessons about yourself, you win. Whether you level up this relationship to a much deeper, more intimate stage or walk away from it entirely, you’re going to come out of this stronger and better than when you started.

When you move up to a penthouse, you get a better view of the skyline—it’s as simple as that. And all this jealousy? It isn't just about my fairy-tale notion of two souls becoming one, or anything like that. It's more than that. It all comes down to my worldview—how I see life, mainly, and how I view people in general.And it’s not like I’m sitting here pining for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to bat his eyelashes only when he catches my eye—and mine alone!

So what’s the actual issue if he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or engaging? What’s the problem if he catches sight of a fit body? It’s just unrealistic to expect someone's entire sexuality to revolve around one single person. Those are just instincts... you can't fight biology. At the end of the day, what matters is his actions—not some fleeting thought or a momentary spark of chemistry.

P.S. Obviously, the driving force is just that raw, natural sexual desire. But let’s face it—humans are complicated. Everything bleeds together. You can't just isolate one thing from another. You can't dissect sex, or love, or jealousy, like they're separate little objects on a lab table. It's all connected.

You're absolutely right... you can't view jealousy in a vacuum without looking at the whole person. But honestly? Its roots almost always lie in low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, possessiveness, and pure insecurity. Whether you realize it or not, in that moment, it colors your entire existence.

🙄 Oh, please. Jealousy can mean all sorts of things...😲 Sure, jealousy reflects insecurity, but there isn't a single person on this planet so supremely confident that they never feel a pang of it. Only pathological jealousy points to a deep-seated issue; it's not every little instance of feeling uneasy. How can you possibly claim her fears are irrational and disconnected from reality?
If that's your logic, tell me: would you sit there stone-faced and tell your boyfriend (or husband) to go sleep with someone else just because he finds them attractive? ☕ Is that what love looks like? 🙄

The solution doesn't lie in changing his behavior, nor in his making sacrifices, or altering his character; the fix lies within you.

I agree she probably needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of love (if he actually feels it)?😉

work on herself

Honestly, when I hear this "spiritual" nonsense, I feel like gagging. Just "work on yourself," practice "free love," and everything will be fine. 🙏
Sure, for people whose brains have been turned to mush by certain "spiritual" movements, it might be "fine" because they've successfully convinced themselves that's how life should work. My impression is that steeltiger2 has a functioning brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing would stick with her.

Then what's the issue when he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or impressive? What's the problem if he admires a well-toned body?

Did you even read the thread? She isn't complaining about him noticing other women; she's talking about how he constantly brags about how much others like him and responds to messages that are clearly personal rather than professional.

Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"

🙂No, your love isn't some kind of sickness. Love is never a disease... Jealousy is just a symptom of something much deeper, which is exactly what I was trying to get across in that provocative post: you don't love yourself. It's also a sign that you haven't even learned how to love anyone else.

Jealousy is really just a mask for the fear that you aren't enough. It’s a scavenger. It gathers up all this fake, imaginary data just to feed the lie that someone else is going to be more valued, more loved, or more wanted than you are. There’s only one way to actually heal from that: through the art of love directed at yourself. Because let’s be real—if you don't love who you are, you're never going to believe that anyone else could truly love you.

"Quote:"

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. If anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I’m constantly checking in on how he's feeling—that actually matters to me. And I would never, ever let some random fling or a night out be the reason he decides to end it all.

Cutting veins? What on earth were you doing, cutting your own veins?

The solution isn't about fixing his behavior. It’s not about how much he sacrifices, and it’s certainly not about changing who he is at his core. No, the answer lies entirely within you. You have to dive deep and find that specific place where the seeds of self-rejection were planted—that root cause of all your insecurities. Build your own emotional stability. Cultivate your own confidence. And finally, learn the art of love by loving yourself completely.

Since jealousy isn't usually your thing—it’s just not who you are—he’s acting as a catalyst. He’s pulling these hidden insecurities to the surface that you didn't even know existed. Honestly? He's teaching you about yourself. Don't waste energy being mad at him. Don't sit around waiting for him to change. Just focus on your own growth. Maybe this whole mess brings you two closer in a way you never expected, or maybe it finally proves he deserves to be kicked to the curb... whatever. Either way, by learning these lessons about yourself, you win. Whether you level up this relationship to a much deeper, more intimate stage or walk away from it entirely, you’re going to come out of this stronger and better than when you started.

When you move up to a penthouse, you get a better view of the skyline—it’s as simple as that. And all this jealousy? It isn't just about my fairy-tale notion of two souls becoming one, or anything like that. It's more than that. It all comes down to my worldview—how I see life, mainly, and how I view people in general.And it’s not like I’m sitting here pining for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to bat his eyelashes only when he catches my eye—and mine alone!

So what’s the actual issue if he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or engaging? What’s the problem if he catches sight of a fit body? It’s just unrealistic to expect someone's entire sexuality to revolve around one single person. Those are just instincts... you can't fight biology. At the end of the day, what matters is his actions—not some fleeting thought or a momentary spark of chemistry.

P.S. Obviously, the driving force is just that raw, natural sexual desire. But let’s face it—humans are complicated. Everything bleeds together. You can't just isolate one thing from another. You can't dissect sex, or love, or jealousy, like they're separate little objects on a lab table. It's all connected.

You're absolutely right... you can't view jealousy in a vacuum without looking at the whole person. But honestly? Its roots almost always lie in low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, possessiveness, and pure insecurity. Whether you realize it or not, in that moment, it colors your entire existence.

Okay, you have a point there. But honestly, I didn't think I lacked self-love at all. It wasn't until he actually started loving me for real that I realized I didn't love myself.

Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"

🙂No, your love isn't some kind of sickness. Love is never a disease... Jealousy is just a symptom of something much deeper, which is exactly what I was trying to get across in that provocative post: you don't love yourself. It's also a sign that you haven't even learned how to love anyone else.

Jealousy is really just a mask for the fear that you aren't enough. It’s a scavenger. It gathers up all this fake, imaginary data just to feed the lie that someone else is going to be more valued, more loved, or more wanted than you are. There’s only one way to actually heal from that: through the art of love directed at yourself. Because let’s be real—if you don't love who you are, you're never going to believe that anyone else could truly love you.

"Quote:"

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. If anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I’m constantly checking in on how he's feeling—that actually matters to me. And I would never, ever let some random fling or a night out be the reason he decides to end it all.

Cutting veins? What on earth were you doing, cutting your own veins?

The solution isn't about fixing his behavior. It’s not about how much he sacrifices, and it’s certainly not about changing who he is at his core. No, the answer lies entirely within you. You have to dive deep and find that specific place where the seeds of self-rejection were planted—that root cause of all your insecurities. Build your own emotional stability. Cultivate your own confidence. And finally, learn the art of love by loving yourself completely.

Since jealousy isn't usually your thing—it’s just not who you are—he’s acting as a catalyst. He’s pulling these hidden insecurities to the surface that you didn't even know existed. Honestly? He's teaching you about yourself. Don't waste energy being mad at him. Don't sit around waiting for him to change. Just focus on your own growth. Maybe this whole mess brings you two closer in a way you never expected, or maybe it finally proves he deserves to be kicked to the curb... whatever. Either way, by learning these lessons about yourself, you win. Whether you level up this relationship to a much deeper, more intimate stage or walk away from it entirely, you’re going to come out of this stronger and better than when you started.

When you move up to a penthouse, you get a better view of the skyline—it’s as simple as that. And all this jealousy? It isn't just about my fairy-tale notion of two souls becoming one, or anything like that. It's more than that. It all comes down to my worldview—how I see life, mainly, and how I view people in general.And it’s not like I’m sitting here pining for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to bat his eyelashes only when he catches my eye—and mine alone!

So what’s the actual issue if he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or engaging? What’s the problem if he catches sight of a fit body? It’s just unrealistic to expect someone's entire sexuality to revolve around one single person. Those are just instincts... you can't fight biology. At the end of the day, what matters is his actions—not some fleeting thought or a momentary spark of chemistry.

P.S. Obviously, the driving force is just that raw, natural sexual desire. But let’s face it—humans are complicated. Everything bleeds together. You can't just isolate one thing from another. You can't dissect sex, or love, or jealousy, like they're separate little objects on a lab table. It's all connected.

You're absolutely right... you can't view jealousy in a vacuum without looking at the whole person. But honestly? Its roots almost always lie in low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, possessiveness, and pure insecurity. Whether you realize it or not, in that moment, it colors your entire existence.

Pretty much. It wasn't exactly my goal to end it all, but I didn't know what else to do and I wanted to hurt myself as badly as possible. It was just that one time.

Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"

🙂No, your love isn't some kind of sickness. Love is never a disease... Jealousy is just a symptom of something much deeper, which is exactly what I was trying to get across in that provocative post: you don't love yourself. It's also a sign that you haven't even learned how to love anyone else.

Jealousy is really just a mask for the fear that you aren't enough. It’s a scavenger. It gathers up all this fake, imaginary data just to feed the lie that someone else is going to be more valued, more loved, or more wanted than you are. There’s only one way to actually heal from that: through the art of love directed at yourself. Because let’s be real—if you don't love who you are, you're never going to believe that anyone else could truly love you.

"Quote:"

I don't think I'm being selfish at all. If anything, I’m sacrificing way more than my boyfriend does. I’m constantly checking in on how he's feeling—that actually matters to me. And I would never, ever let some random fling or a night out be the reason he decides to end it all.

Cutting veins? What on earth were you doing, cutting your own veins?

The solution isn't about fixing his behavior. It’s not about how much he sacrifices, and it’s certainly not about changing who he is at his core. No, the answer lies entirely within you. You have to dive deep and find that specific place where the seeds of self-rejection were planted—that root cause of all your insecurities. Build your own emotional stability. Cultivate your own confidence. And finally, learn the art of love by loving yourself completely.

Since jealousy isn't usually your thing—it’s just not who you are—he’s acting as a catalyst. He’s pulling these hidden insecurities to the surface that you didn't even know existed. Honestly? He's teaching you about yourself. Don't waste energy being mad at him. Don't sit around waiting for him to change. Just focus on your own growth. Maybe this whole mess brings you two closer in a way you never expected, or maybe it finally proves he deserves to be kicked to the curb... whatever. Either way, by learning these lessons about yourself, you win. Whether you level up this relationship to a much deeper, more intimate stage or walk away from it entirely, you’re going to come out of this stronger and better than when you started.

When you move up to a penthouse, you get a better view of the skyline—it’s as simple as that. And all this jealousy? It isn't just about my fairy-tale notion of two souls becoming one, or anything like that. It's more than that. It all comes down to my worldview—how I see life, mainly, and how I view people in general.And it’s not like I’m sitting here pining for some fairytale prince who’s supposed to bat his eyelashes only when he catches my eye—and mine alone!

So what’s the actual issue if he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or engaging? What’s the problem if he catches sight of a fit body? It’s just unrealistic to expect someone's entire sexuality to revolve around one single person. Those are just instincts... you can't fight biology. At the end of the day, what matters is his actions—not some fleeting thought or a momentary spark of chemistry.

P.S. Obviously, the driving force is just that raw, natural sexual desire. But let’s face it—humans are complicated. Everything bleeds together. You can't just isolate one thing from another. You can't dissect sex, or love, or jealousy, like they're separate little objects on a lab table. It's all connected.

You're absolutely right... you can't view jealousy in a vacuum without looking at the whole person. But honestly? Its roots almost always lie in low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, possessiveness, and pure insecurity. Whether you realize it or not, in that moment, it colors your entire existence.

There’s no issue, really. In fact, I’m going to start noticing other attractive people and thinking about their great physiques, because I want to accept that as normal. Clearly, I haven't quite adjusted to reality yet.
I need to start being "normal" too, and maybe once I align myself with that, it won't bother me so much.
Of course, I won't actually do anything—just look (and think) and maybe make a comment here and there, making it explicitly clear to my boyfriend that I don't reserve my sexuality just for him. It's all perfectly natural. 😉

Grace Ruiz4 said:This is the ultimate truth about love, and if you don't feel this deep down in your gut, you haven't actually experienced the beauty of it!

The whole trick to killing off jealousy is realizing that nothing is yours, you can't hold onto anything for yourself, and everything can slip through your fingers in a heartbeat!😁

Being jealous? That was hands down the absolute worst, most soul-crushing feeling I've ever had to deal with in my life. But freedom? Man, freedom is the most incredible high you can experience while you're still breathing.🤣

Of course, you’d be perfectly fine sharing your wife with three other guys in the same bed. ☕ And everyone is happy, cheerful, and perfectly content. 😍

Freedom is easily the most incredible sensation you can experience while you're still in this body.

Freedom—it’s still lingering in the system. 🤔

🙏

Sean Cruz said:🙄 Oh, please. Jealousy can mean all sorts of things...😲 Sure, jealousy reflects insecurity, but there isn't a single person on this planet so supremely confident that they never feel a pang of it. Only pathological jealousy points to a deep-seated issue; it's not every little instance of feeling uneasy. How can you possibly claim her fears are irrational and disconnected from reality?
If that's your logic, tell me: would you sit there stone-faced and tell your boyfriend (or husband) to go sleep with someone else just because he finds them attractive? ☕ Is that what love looks like? 🙄

The solution doesn't lie in changing his behavior, nor in his making sacrifices, or altering his character; the fix lies within you.

I agree she probably needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of love (if he actually feels it)?😉

work on herself

Honestly, when I hear this "spiritual" nonsense, I feel like gagging. Just "work on yourself," practice "free love," and everything will be fine. 🙏
Sure, for people whose brains have been turned to mush by certain "spiritual" movements, it might be "fine" because they've successfully convinced themselves that's how life should work. My impression is that steeltiger2 has a functioning brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing would stick with her.

Then what's the issue when he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or impressive? What's the problem if he admires a well-toned body?

Did you even read the thread? She isn't complaining about him noticing other women; she's talking about how he constantly brags about how much others like him and responds to messages that are clearly personal rather than professional.

Take it easy.😍

That whole concept reminds me of this video, LOL.

Listen to what these two "geniuses" have to say 🤣—especially that plastic bombshell, haha. ... "as a WOMAN, I have to say - wow, you rock. 🤣 I mean, it says something about your self-confidence, your security with yourself, your masculinity, that you're able to enjoy your wife enjoying herself, even if it's not you causing it; because most men are so insecure that if their wife is enjoying anything that they didn't cause, they are jealous.">

Regarding all of this, I can only echo what Wolfgang Pauli said when he looked at some physics student's paper:

"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong." 😂

Sandra Morgan2 said:Once you finally see through the whole Santa Claus act, you stop hanging those stockings up by the window. 🙂

And once you know, without a shadow of a doubt,

that Cinderella was just a gold digger who married well,
that Sleeping Beauty was completely frigid,
that Little Red Riding Hood was nothing more than a flirt who didn't mind a dark forest or a scary wolf,
and that Snow White was probably sleeping around with all seven of them at once...

then everything changes. Nothing is ever the same.

And whatever happened to Matovilka, the one who was imprisoned in the tower? 😁

"Quote:"

Sean Cruz said:🙄 Oh, please. Jealousy can mean all sorts of things...😲 Sure, jealousy reflects insecurity, but there isn't a single person on this planet so supremely confident that they never feel a pang of it. Only pathological jealousy points to a deep-seated issue; it's not every little instance of feeling uneasy. How can you possibly claim her fears are irrational and disconnected from reality?
If that's your logic, tell me: would you sit there stone-faced and tell your boyfriend (or husband) to go sleep with someone else just because he finds them attractive? ☕ Is that what love looks like? 🙄

The solution doesn't lie in changing his behavior, nor in his making sacrifices, or altering his character; the fix lies within you.

I agree she probably needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of love (if he actually feels it)?😉

work on herself

Honestly, when I hear this "spiritual" nonsense, I feel like gagging. Just "work on yourself," practice "free love," and everything will be fine. 🙏
Sure, for people whose brains have been turned to mush by certain "spiritual" movements, it might be "fine" because they've successfully convinced themselves that's how life should work. My impression is that steeltiger2 has a functioning brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing would stick with her.

Then what's the issue when he notices other women are beautiful, smart, or impressive? What's the problem if he admires a well-toned body?

Did you even read the thread? She isn't complaining about him noticing other women; she's talking about how he constantly brags about how much others like him and responds to messages that are clearly personal rather than professional.

The more you love yourself, the less room there is for jealousy or envy. It’s simple. True self-love leaves zero space for those toxic feelings to take root. On the flip side? Pathological jealousy is just a massive red flag—it’s a clear sign that someone lacks fundamental love for themselves.

How can you even tell if her fears are irrational and completely detached from reality?

I just can't... That’s why I said he was nothing more than a catalyst. He just stirred up something that was already lying dormant inside her. Once she actually digs into it, she might realize—among other things—that he totally deserved to be kicked in the ass. Or something like that, anyway!

If you’re really thinking along those lines, tell me: would you honestly look your boyfriend or husband dead in the eye and tell him to go hook up with someone else just because he's into it? ☕ Is that the art of love? 🙄

Yeah. It wouldn't be cold, per se, but I’d keep it warm and human. "Look, honey, I can see you're struggling... so let's just cut to the chase. Figure out what you actually want. Are you just chasing impulses? Are you bored and looking for a change? Maybe you've fallen for someone else, or maybe I'm just not the person you need for this next chapter of your life. Either way—don't worry, be happy." I'm not giving him permission, obviously. I'm not his owner; he's free to do whatever he wants. But he needs to realize everything comes with a price. And the price for exploring other people might just be that I won't be standing by his side anymore. That's the art of love, Sean Cruz. But because of a century's worth of social programming regarding this nonsense we call "romantic love," you'll probably think I'm being sacrilegious.

Romantic love centers on drugs, which only sets the stage for jealousy. It's fragile, fleeting, and honestly? Just infantile. Real, mature love is built on self-love.

I agree she needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of the art of love—if that's what he's feeling? 😉

To me, "sacrifice" is a disgusting word—honestly, it feels like a curse. When it comes to the art of love, there is no such thing as sacrifice. Love is simply giving, caring, and being attentive. Someone who truly loves won't hurt their partner because wounding someone goes against the very nature of love. And let’s be real: if you actually love yourself, you aren't going to hurt yourself either. If a guy says he's "sacrificing" himself by not texting some other girl just to keep the peace, that’s not love. It just means he still wants to do it, but he’s suppressing his urges so she doesn't get upset. That isn't devotion; it's just being well-trained. He still wants to be talking to someone else.

Honestly, listening to this "spiritual" nonsense makes me want to gag. Just focus on yourself, practice "the art of love," and you'll be fine. 🙏
Sure, maybe for people who let certain "spiritual" gurus brainwash them, everything will feel "fine" because they’ve successfully convinced themselves that's how life should be. But from what I can tell, steeltiger2 actually has a brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing is working on her.

And my take? I get the impression that steeltiger2 realized something was deeply wrong with her inner life—that her reactions were becoming irrational, that she had pushed herself nearly to the brink of self-destruction, and that she’s finally ready to change. She's open to hearing what others have to say and then actually doing something about it. That *is* working on yourself, no matter how much it nauseates you...

hiddenhound3 said:And whatever happened to Matovilka, the one who was imprisoned in the tower? 😁

Matovilka, trapped in her tower, braids her red hair,
calling for a knight to come to her rescue.

The knight rides in on his steed, swinging his saber high,
but he has no clue what’s coming for him,
because Matovilka is no damsel in distress...

Matovilka is a master manipulator, obviously....

Sandra Morgan2 said:"Quote:"

The more you love yourself, the less room there is for jealousy or envy. It’s simple. True self-love leaves zero space for those toxic feelings to take root. On the flip side? Pathological jealousy is just a massive red flag—it’s a clear sign that someone lacks fundamental love for themselves.

How can you even tell if her fears are irrational and completely detached from reality?

I just can't... That’s why I said he was nothing more than a catalyst. He just stirred up something that was already lying dormant inside her. Once she actually digs into it, she might realize—among other things—that he totally deserved to be kicked in the ass. Or something like that, anyway!

If you’re really thinking along those lines, tell me: would you honestly look your boyfriend or husband dead in the eye and tell him to go hook up with someone else just because he's into it? ☕ Is that the art of love? 🙄

Yeah. It wouldn't be cold, per se, but I’d keep it warm and human. "Look, honey, I can see you're struggling... so let's just cut to the chase. Figure out what you actually want. Are you just chasing impulses? Are you bored and looking for a change? Maybe you've fallen for someone else, or maybe I'm just not the person you need for this next chapter of your life. Either way—don't worry, be happy." I'm not giving him permission, obviously. I'm not his owner; he's free to do whatever he wants. But he needs to realize everything comes with a price. And the price for exploring other people might just be that I won't be standing by his side anymore. That's the art of love, Sean Cruz. But because of a century's worth of social programming regarding this nonsense we call "romantic love," you'll probably think I'm being sacrilegious.

Romantic love centers on drugs, which only sets the stage for jealousy. It's fragile, fleeting, and honestly? Just infantile. Real, mature love is built on self-love.

I agree she needs more self-confidence, but why shouldn't he sacrifice something for the sake of the art of love—if that's what he's feeling? 😉

To me, "sacrifice" is a disgusting word—honestly, it feels like a curse. When it comes to the art of love, there is no such thing as sacrifice. Love is simply giving, caring, and being attentive. Someone who truly loves won't hurt their partner because wounding someone goes against the very nature of love. And let’s be real: if you actually love yourself, you aren't going to hurt yourself either. If a guy says he's "sacrificing" himself by not texting some other girl just to keep the peace, that’s not love. It just means he still wants to do it, but he’s suppressing his urges so she doesn't get upset. That isn't devotion; it's just being well-trained. He still wants to be talking to someone else.

Honestly, listening to this "spiritual" nonsense makes me want to gag. Just focus on yourself, practice "the art of love," and you'll be fine. 🙏
Sure, maybe for people who let certain "spiritual" gurus brainwash them, everything will feel "fine" because they’ve successfully convinced themselves that's how life should be. But from what I can tell, steeltiger2 actually has a brain and knows how to think for herself, so I doubt any brainwashing is working on her.

And my take? I get the impression that steeltiger2 realized something was deeply wrong with her inner life—that her reactions were becoming irrational, that she had pushed herself nearly to the brink of self-destruction, and that she’s finally ready to change. She's open to hearing what others have to say and then actually doing something about it. That *is* working on yourself, no matter how much it nauseates you...

Hmm, let's think about this.

So, that's what love is supposed to be. No expectations, no jealousy, no possessiveness...

But tell me one thing. Why do you "love" this specific man—the one you call "darling"—instead of just some random stranger on the street? If a person is truly overflowing with love for others because, as you put it, it stems from total self-love, then logically it shouldn't matter who it is with. It would align perfectly with Frommov's "the art of love," wouldn't it? Why Person A instead of Person B?

Or better yet—why not both at once? Both A and B? Or whoever asks? 😬 I mean, it seems like such a waste to spend all that beautiful, selfless love on just one loser. If she could make so many people happy... a loser, LOL

In short, Wolfgang Pauli comes to mind again... 🤣

No hard feelings 🙂—life just forces people into all sorts of mental constructs...

lonegardener said:Hmm, let's think about this.

So, that's what love is supposed to be. No expectations, no jealousy, no possessiveness...

But tell me one thing. Why do you "love" this specific man—the one you call "darling"—instead of just some random stranger on the street? If a person is truly overflowing with love for others because, as you put it, it stems from total self-love, then logically it shouldn't matter who it is with. It would align perfectly with Frommov's "the art of love," wouldn't it? Why Person A instead of Person B?

Or better yet—why not both at once? Both A and B? Or whoever asks? 😬 I mean, it seems like such a waste to spend all that beautiful, selfless love on just one loser. If she could make so many people happy... a loser, LOL

In short, Wolfgang Pauli comes to mind again... 🤣

No hard feelings 🙂—life just forces people into all sorts of mental constructs...

🙂

"Quote:"

So, tell me one thing. Why do you "love" this specific man—this person you call "my love"—instead of just anyone else? Like some random stranger walking down a street in Chicago? You claim he’s so overflowing with affection for others because of his total self-love, which implies it shouldn't matter who he's with at all. That would align perfectly with Frommov’s "the art of love," wouldn't it? So, why Person A instead of Person B?

Life is all about possibilities, lonegardener—it’s just the opportunity for light to finally reach the art of love. Love is truly the finest vibration we, as human beings, are capable of manifesting. Once it starts flowing out of us in its full capacity, this energy—which is essentially formless on its own—pours toward others from our sheer abundance. It takes on so many beautiful shapes: parental love for children, a child's devotion to their parents, friendship, deep respect, compassion, service, giving back, acts of kindness... and, of course, romantic love.

Self-deception fueled by that whole "romantic love" myth leads people to believe this kind of intense sexual connection—where you feel this overwhelming need for total unity and complete immersion in another person—can only, and exclusively, happen with one single individual. Maybe it can. Maybe it can't...

"Quote:"

Or better yet—why choose? Why not both at once? Person A and Person B. Or honestly, whoever asks! 😬 Honestly, it’s such a waste to see that kind of beautiful, selfless love poured into just one nobody. Imagine if she could bring happiness to so many others instead... Total nonsense, LOL!

To quote you in my own words—it’s neither right nor wrong...🙂

"Quote:"

In short, Wolfgang Pauli is on my mind again... 🤣 NHF? 🙂 Life has a way of forcing people into all sorts of mental constructs...

Exactly... but love actually happens somewhere about twelve inches below the head, right in the center of the chest—maybe a little to the left. It has absolutely nothing to do with the mind or all its logical constructions! 🙂

Sean Cruz said:Of course, you’d be perfectly fine sharing your wife with three other guys in the same bed. ☕ And everyone is happy, cheerful, and perfectly content. 😍

Freedom is easily the most incredible sensation you can experience while you're still in this body.

Freedom—it’s still lingering in the system. 🤔

🙏

Look, if I walked into my bedroom and found my wife with three other dudes, I wouldn't even be jealous. Honestly? My wife wouldn't even exist to me anymore. I’d just rip her out of my heart instantly. That’s what we’re talking about here!

And it's the same deal with dating. I don't have anything to worry about or get worked up over if, say, my girl comments on how hot some guy is, or how charming this guy is, or how cute that guy looks—as long as she isn't actually cheating. I'm not getting jealous or paranoid. But the second she cheats? Then I’m telling her "there's the door." You're done. You aren't for me anymore. 😁

steeltiger2 said:Okay, you have a point there. But honestly, I didn't think I lacked self-love at all. It wasn't until he actually started loving me for real that I realized I didn't love myself.

Pretty much. It wasn't exactly my goal to end it all, but I didn't know what else to do and I wanted to hurt myself as badly as possible. It was just that one time.

There’s no issue, really. In fact, I’m going to start noticing other attractive people and thinking about their great physiques, because I want to accept that as normal. Clearly, I haven't quite adjusted to reality yet.
I need to start being "normal" too, and maybe once I align myself with that, it won't bother me so much.
Of course, I won't actually do anything—just look (and think) and maybe make a comment here and there, making it explicitly clear to my boyfriend that I don't reserve my sexuality just for him. It's all perfectly natural. 😉

👍👍
Your boyfriend will probably change his tune pretty fast, and you'll likely realize he's the one with the confidence issues who just needs an ego boost...

Look, if my wife decides she wants a whole crowd in bed with her, and I genuinely love the woman, then honestly, the best I can do is wish them all a good time and just step out of the frame entirely.

There isn't some magical way for me to forbid it, and even if there were, I couldn't exactly talk her out of wanting it in the first place.

At this point, my only real choices are deciding whether I want to be one of those three guys, or if I’d rather just head out of town for a weekend while she handles things with her trio.
sincererly speaking, since I have zero interest in either of those scenarios, the only logical move left is to remove myself from a dynamic that clearly isn't going to make anyone happy.