Let's talk perfectionism: General discussion

Matthew Castillo5 said:So, I guess I'm clearly not a "real" (or rather, a perfect) perfectionist. It actually amuses me when I mess something up spectacularly; I'm really only a perfectionist about certain specific things.
What actually sends me into a spiral isn't failing to do something perfectly—it's when my perfectionism causes me to freeze up entirely or miss a deadline altogether.

I don't really identify with that anymore either. I eventually realized that being a perfectionist was more of a character flaw, so I decided to work on fixing it. 🤣

But man, taking my driving test was an absolute nightmare. I’d forget to use a turn signal and then spend the next ten minutes beating myself up over it, which would just make me so frustrated that I'd end up making ten other mistakes. 🙄

Dana Phillips4 said:Yeah, perfectionism and procrastination are definitely linked. I’d say one is usually just a symptom of the other—plus, there's a massive connection to a lack of self-confidence. How did you actually manage to move past it? 🙂

Perfectionism drives procrastination, which is fueled by seeking pleasure, which stems from a fear of success—specifically, the fear that once we experience that joy, we won't be able to replicate it. I found that focusing on a vision of future wins and new experiences helps break the cycle. I'm not sure if that's the universal truth, but it's what works for me.

Justin Garcia7 said:Perfectionism drives procrastination, which is fueled by seeking pleasure, which stems from a fear of success—specifically, the fear that once we experience that joy, we won't be able to replicate it. I found that focusing on a vision of future wins and new experiences helps break the cycle. I'm not sure if that's the universal truth, but it's what works for me.

For me, perfectionism was basically my proof of worth—just a massive ego boost, maybe the only thing that made me feel like I actually mattered. Back in high school and later when I was grinding through engineering school, my whole mission was making sure every project was absolutely flawless. I remember this one project in my sophomore year... I spent weeks obsessing over every tiny detail until it was perfect. When the day finally came and I pulled up the project on my Verizon laptop in front of the professor, the whole class went "whoa..." but then the next comment out of his mouth was just... pfft. Total dismissal. He basically implied there was no way I did it myself and suggested some random engineer must have handled it...🤦 🤦🤦
In the end, I got a measly C+. There were a couple of tiny math errors, but the real reason I got stuck with a C was because the prof didn't even believe I could pull it off alone, so he punished me for it. Man, I was livid. It felt like my entire world just collapsed. I swore right then that the next one would be five times better. And it was. I still remember the whole class crowding around the professor's desk to see it—flawless, not a single flaw. Even looking back at it today, I'm like, damn, I really had talent... So that became the pattern. Everyone would wait to see when my next project would drop; I was the gold standard, while everyone else was just average no matter how hard they tried...😁
It was like that with pretty much everything. I wasn't looking for a little spark; I wanted that full-blown, mind-blowing orgasm of achievement that leaves you dazed for half an hour. That was the vibe for everything I touched. Even getting my driver's license—I thought I totally failed the written part, but the instructor called me up by name and said, "Man, incredible job, not a single mistake." Then during the actual driving test, I drove for thirteen hours straight before he even asked if I wanted to pass. Of course I passed, first try. It was great while it lasted, but eventually, you grow up. You stop caring about proving yourself because you just know you're worth something by default. Things start feeling more like chores, and the drive to overachieve fades. You realize life is way too short for all that nonsense, so you stop wasting so much energy on those stupid little things...

I like having things under control, but strictly when it concerns my own life. I couldn't care less about micromanaging how other people live theirs. My own setup is tight—everything from legal paperwork and bills to warranties, textbooks, and my personal notes is perfectly filed away. It means if I need something urgently, I find it instantly.
My computer is the same way; everything is organized into spreadsheets and folders with clear labels. Honestly, watching someone with a thousand icons cluttering their desktop drives me crazy. They’ve got memory wasted on photos they never look at and a mountain of useless documents just sitting there.
That’s just how I operate. I have my system, and frankly, I don't care how everyone else chooses to stay messy. The only exception is when I'm forced to collaborate with someone. In those cases, I expect everything to be clear, direct, and fast. 😁

For me, perfectionism has absolutely nothing to do with being tidy or organized. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

It hits me hardest when I’m working on something academic, like a research paper. That intense drive to make everything flawless ends up paralyzing me; I either can't write a single word, or I end up producing some half-baked nonsense because I've spent all my energy procrastinating instead of actually working. 😵

The other way it shows up—though I wouldn't call it a major issue—is in my digital communication. Whether I'm posting on a forum, sending a Text Messaging, or using WhatsApp or Messenger, I have this compulsion to ensure every capital letter, every bit of punctuation, and every space is perfectly placed. I can't stand typos; they just have to be right.

Matthew Castillo5 said:For me, perfectionism has absolutely nothing to do with being tidy or organized. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

It hits me hardest when I’m working on something academic, like a research paper. That intense drive to make everything flawless ends up paralyzing me; I either can't write a single word, or I end up producing some half-baked nonsense because I've spent all my energy procrastinating instead of actually working. 😵

The other way it shows up—though I wouldn't call it a major issue—is in my digital communication. Whether I'm posting on a forum, sending a Text Messaging, or using WhatsApp or Messenger, I have this compulsion to ensure every capital letter, every bit of punctuation, and every space is perfectly placed. I can't stand typos; they just have to be right.

I feel the exact same way. My desk is a total disaster zone, but when I'm actually focused on a task, I become a true Japanese craftsman—if I don't forge the perfect katana, I can't let it go. Same goes if I attempt to cook a meal; if it isn't right, I'm not satisfied. 😁

Procrastination is basically my survival mechanism. When a deadline is looming, a little bit of rushed work feels justified because, at the end of the day, handing in something mediocre is much worse than missing the mark entirely. The real shame would be delivering a "product" that isn't finished at all. 😵

Matthew Castillo5 said:For me, perfectionism has absolutely nothing to do with being tidy or organized. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

It hits me hardest when I’m working on something academic, like a research paper. That intense drive to make everything flawless ends up paralyzing me; I either can't write a single word, or I end up producing some half-baked nonsense because I've spent all my energy procrastinating instead of actually working. 😵

The other way it shows up—though I wouldn't call it a major issue—is in my digital communication. Whether I'm posting on a forum, sending a Text Messaging, or using WhatsApp or Messenger, I have this compulsion to ensure every capital letter, every bit of punctuation, and every space is perfectly placed. I can't stand typos; they just have to be right.

That’s not perfectionism. That’s just being civilized. 🧐

Joseph Bailey41 said:I feel the exact same way. My desk is a total disaster zone, but when I'm actually focused on a task, I become a true Japanese craftsman—if I don't forge the perfect katana, I can't let it go. Same goes if I attempt to cook a meal; if it isn't right, I'm not satisfied. 😁

Procrastination is basically my survival mechanism. When a deadline is looming, a little bit of rushed work feels justified because, at the end of the day, handing in something mediocre is much worse than missing the mark entirely. The real shame would be delivering a "product" that isn't finished at all. 😵

That’s not perfectionism. That’s just being civilized. 🧐

I've never really understood it myself—it's like, one minute it's pure chaos, and the next, everything just clicks perfectly...🤔

Donna White50 said:I've never really understood it myself—it's like, one minute it's pure chaos, and the next, everything just clicks perfectly...🤔

Honestly, thank God my life goal isn't making sure everyone else understands why I do what I do.
Personally, I'm perfectly fine being organized about some things and a total disaster about others.

Matthew Castillo5 said:Honestly, thank God my life goal isn't making sure everyone else understands why I do what I do.
Personally, I'm perfectly fine being organized about some things and a total disaster about others.

See, for me, the second I walk into someone’s apartment, everything becomes crystal clear... 🤣
It’s not even about judging people—it’s just about where they put their priorities. On one hand, you’ve got actual geniuses, but on the other, you’ve got people who can't even handle basic stuff—like, seriously, how do you not know how to clean a toilet? Or leaving bleach sitting in a shell? Or having dishes in the sink growing mold, dust and cobwebs thick on the rug, and laundry piled up everywhere like it just fell from the sky... don't even get me started on the smell. Look, I’m not a total neat freak, but man... I know way too many people like that. Anyway, thanks for nothing... 😁

Donna White50 said:See, for me, the second I walk into someone’s apartment, everything becomes crystal clear... 🤣
It’s not even about judging people—it’s just about where they put their priorities. On one hand, you’ve got actual geniuses, but on the other, you’ve got people who can't even handle basic stuff—like, seriously, how do you not know how to clean a toilet? Or leaving bleach sitting in a shell? Or having dishes in the sink growing mold, dust and cobwebs thick on the rug, and laundry piled up everywhere like it just fell from the sky... don't even get me started on the smell. Look, I’m not a total neat freak, but man... I know way too many people like that. Anyway, thanks for nothing... 😁

My place might be messy, but it isn't dirty. I stay on top of the dishes and there's zero smell. But honestly, you'd probably get the same bad impression just from seeing the clutter and jump to your usual conclusions. And you'd be wrong, obviously, just like you always are.

Matthew Castillo5 said:My place might be messy, but it isn't dirty. I stay on top of the dishes and there's zero smell. But honestly, you'd probably get the same bad impression just from seeing the clutter and jump to your usual conclusions. And you'd be wrong, obviously, just like you always are.

Well, sure, if I'm wrong, then you must be right... 😁
Maybe you'd judge me, or maybe you wouldn't, but if I actually made an effort, I'd still want to get to know the real you a bit better...😉

Donna White50 said:Well, sure, if I'm wrong, then you must be right... 😁
Maybe you'd judge me, or maybe you wouldn't, but if I actually made an effort, I'd still want to get to know the real you a bit better...😉

Look, I don't give a damn about being right.
And I'm certainly not going to let you walk all over me. ☕

Matthew Castillo5 said:Look, I don't give a damn about being right.
And I'm certainly not going to let you walk all over me. ☕

Hmm.. that's how it felt at the time, I guess..😁
Wait, why wouldn't you let me move in? What did I do, leave a mess or something..?🤔
How about this—you let me move in, we get to know each other better, and then we can just sort everything out and get things back on track..😉

Donna White50 said:I've never really understood it myself—it's like, one minute it's pure chaos, and the next, everything just clicks perfectly...🤔

It really comes down to priorities. Work comes first, then food, hobbies, hanging out with friends... cleaning usually sits somewhere at the bottom of the list. Or maybe even lower. 😬

Joseph Bailey41 said:It really comes down to priorities. Work comes first, then food, hobbies, hanging out with friends... cleaning usually sits somewhere at the bottom of the list. Or maybe even lower. 😬

Logic tells me you should focus your positive energy on the place where you actually live and spend most of your life. A little creative mess is fine, but living in a total dump is honestly depressing—let alone trying to think in one. And honestly? Saying "cleaning is just a low priority" is really just a fancy way of saying you're being lazy.
But hey, who actually gives a damn...
😁

Donna White50 said:Logic tells me you should focus your positive energy on the place where you actually live and spend most of your life. A little creative mess is fine, but living in a total dump is honestly depressing—let alone trying to think in one. And honestly? Saying "cleaning is just a low priority" is really just a fancy way of saying you're being lazy.
But hey, who actually gives a damn...
😁

What's your Myers-Briggs type? It feels like you might be a Sensor. 🤣

Joseph Bailey41 said:It really comes down to priorities. Work comes first, then food, hobbies, hanging out with friends... cleaning usually sits somewhere at the bottom of the list. Or maybe even lower. 😬

My priorities are stacked a little differently: hobbies first, goofing off, food, and then work—but I’m right there with you on the cleaning thing; it’s at the bottom of the list, if it even makes the list at all. 🙂

You didn't ask, but I'm an INFP.

Joseph Bailey41 said:What's your Myers-Briggs type? It feels like you might be a Sensor. 🤣

It’s basically that one specific trait that dictates exactly how we vibe with everything around us...
40%
So, I was just thinking about being an extravert... honestly, it’s kind of a trip how much energy we pull from everyone around us—it’s like we’re constantly plugging into a giant battery that just happens to be other people. It's wild, really. Some folks think it means you're just loud, but it's more about that internal spark that only catches when there's a crowd or a good conversation happening... anyway, just some random thoughts drifting through my head today...
60%
So, I was thinking about being an introvert lately... honestly, sometimes it feels like we're just playing life on hard mode when it comes to social stuff—it’s a lot, you know? Like, people always assume that if you aren't the loudest one in the room, you must be bored or upset, but that's just not it at all... it's more about where you get your energy from. For me, it's definitely those quiet moments alone with a good book or just chilling out without any noise... it's how I recharge. It's funny how society seems to celebrate the extroverts so much, while the rest of us are just over here vibing in the corner... it's fine though, really. Being introverted isn't a flaw, it's just a different way of moving through the world... anyway, just some random thoughts...
energy... just vibes, honestly.
It’s basically just a way to see where all that brainpower actually goes...
53%
Intuitive...
47%
Just paying attention...
nature... just nothing beats it... honestly, sometimes you just gotta get out there and breathe it all in—away from the noise and the screens... just pure, quiet vibes...
It’s basically that one core trait that dictates how we tackle tough calls and deal with all the emotional rollercoasters life throws at us... turns out it really defines our whole vibe when things get intense...
65%
Thinking...
35%
Just feeling... everything all at once, I guess. It’s one of those days where things just feel a bit heavy, you know? Like you're just drifting through the motions... nothing major, just a vibe. Anyway, hope everyone else is having a smoother ride than I am today...
Tactics...
It’s basically how we handle everything—from our daily grind at the office to the way we map out big plans and make those tough calls... just a core part of our DNA when it comes to getting things done.
62%
Judging... honestly, it’s such a vibe killer, isn't it? Everyone's always so quick to point fingers or act like they've got it all figured out—it's exhausting... just constant noise from people who don't actually know what they're talking about. It really makes you wonder why we even bother trying to be ourselves when everyone is just waiting to tear you down... anyway, just my two cents...
38%
Prospecting... honestly, it’s such a grind sometimes—just constant outreach and trying to find that one lead that actually sticks. It feels like you're always chasing the next big thing, you know? But I guess that's just the game... keeping the momentum up is everything.
Identity... it’s one of those things you think you have figured out, but then life happens and suddenly everything feels a bit blurry... maybe it's just me, though. It's funny how we try to pin ourselves down with labels—like those Myers-Briggs tests everyone loves so much—as if a little four-letter code could actually capture who we are deep down... but I guess we all need a starting point, right? Just a way to make sense of the chaos...
It’s basically the foundation for everything else—it just shows how much you actually trust your own gut and the calls you make...
70%
Assertive...
30%
Turbulent...
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I'm ready to go. Send over the posts whenever you're set... I'll get to work on them immediately.
I can't quite make sense of that... sounds like some kind of code or maybe just a typo? If you were trying to say something specific, let me know—I'm all ears...
Shares...

So, I was thinking about the whole Architect thing—you know, those people with The Architect personality Type ara... It’s such a specific vibe, isn't it? Whether they're leaning more towards that assertive side or just dealing with the usual stress, there's just something about how their brains work. It’s like they're always three steps ahead of everyone else while the rest of us are still trying to find our keys... honestly, it's kind of impressive if you think about it. Just a really intense, focused way to exist in the world... anyway, just some random thoughts on the INTJ life.

It really can feel pretty lonely at the top—especially when you're dealing with one of the rarest, most strategic personality types out there. People with The Architect personality Type ara definitely know that feeling all too well. We're talking about just two percent of the population... and honestly, Architect women are even harder to find, making up only about 0.8%. It can be such a struggle to actually find people who are on the same wavelength—you know, folks who can actually keep up with that constant intellectual grind and all the high-level, chess-like maneuvering we do... People with The Architect personality Type ara are super imaginative but also incredibly decisive—ambitious, sure, but also pretty private. There's this amazing curiosity there, too, though we aren't exactly known for wasting energy on things that don't matter...

Nothing Can stop The right Attitude fra Achieving Its Goal...

Basically, this test doesn't have anything to do with having a healthy brain...😁

At its core, perfectionism is really just a deep-seated fear of losing control.

analogviper9 said:At its core, perfectionism is really just a deep-seated fear of losing control.

I wouldn't go that far, and honestly, it's definitely not true for me.