Let's talk perfectionism: General discussion

Matthew Castillo5 said:I wouldn't go that far, and honestly, it's definitely not true for me.

For me, it definitely is.

I find it fascinating how all these things intertwine—these almost contradictory forces that somehow work in tandem.
At work, I’m a total perfectionist. Outside of that? I’m a chronic procrastinator.

With a lot of my tasks, procrastination—that mounting delay that builds up this intense agony and pressure—actually ends up boosting my excitement. It’s like the longer I put it off, the bigger the hormonal payoff in my brain becomes when I finally dive in.
But then, you have that nagging guilt from stalling, which works in parallel, feeding into that same rush.

My habit of putting things off started when I noticed people who barely tried actually getting better results. So, I accidentally picked up that pattern. 😵
It sucks when you pour your heart and soul into something and get absolutely nothing for it.
Maybe we eventually reach a point where we start finding pleasure in our own suffering. The sheer agony of chasing success creates this addiction; we're constantly tense and wired, just waiting for some kind of validation. And when that praise doesn't come, we become addicted to the struggle itself. It’s a self-perpetuating loop.

Is it masochism? Or just a primal need for attention, reward, and happiness...

The flow of time is everything. We live for the moment, and a single moment can feel eternal.

It feels like we’re staring down the barrel of some massive, radical shift. It's one of those moments where everything you thought was set in stone suddenly feels incredibly fragile. I'm trying to wrap my head around how much things are actually going to transform, and honestly, it's a little daunting. It isn't just about small adjustments anymore; we're talking about a complete overhaul of the status quo. I'm still processing it all, but I'd love to hear if anyone else is feeling this same sense of uncertainty. [User] says:
The Architect personality type—the INTJ, whether you fall on the assertive or turbulent side—is a fascinating study in strategic depth. If you’ve ever felt like you’re operating on a completely different frequency than everyone else, you probably know exactly what I mean. Being an INTJ means your brain is essentially a high-powered engine designed for systems, patterns, and long-term planning. You don't just look at a problem; you deconstruct it, find the structural flaw, and build a more efficient way to bypass it entirely. There’s a certain quiet intensity to this type. It’s not about being loud or demanding attention; it’s about being right, being prepared, and having a roadmap for everything. Of course, that level of constant mental processing comes with its own set of hurdles. For many of us, "socializing" can feel less like a relaxing activity and more like trying to solve a complex equation in real-time while people throw random variables at you. We tend to value competence over small talk, which can sometimes be misread by others as being cold or detached. Personally, I’ve found that I’m often my own harshest critic, constantly tweaking my internal logic to ensure everything is airtight. Whether you lean toward the -A (Assertive) side—feeling pretty confident in your strategic decisions—or the -T (Turbulent) side—where you might second-guess your plans or feel more pressure to perfect them—the core remains the same: a relentless drive for purpose and efficiency. It’s a lonely road sometimes, but there’s a profound satisfaction in seeing a well-executed plan come to life.

Matthew Castillo5 said:My priorities are stacked a little differently: hobbies first, goofing off, food, and then work—but I’m right there with you on the cleaning thing; it’s at the bottom of the list, if it even makes the list at all. 🙂

You didn't ask, but I'm an INFP.

As an INTJ, that’s exactly why I once went down a total rabbit hole studying that specific style of astrology. I remember sitting there on a Sunday at 2, trying my absolute best to decode what Kerimov’s sister was actually getting at. 🤦

I’ve actually forgotten half of this stuff in the meantime, including that little trick about how organization or messiness follows the J/P line. Basically, if you walk up to someone's desk and see a total disaster zone, you know they're a P. 🤣

I still haven't quite figured out if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.

Donna White50 said:For me, perfectionism was basically my proof of worth—just a massive ego boost, maybe the only thing that made me feel like I actually mattered. Back in high school and later when I was grinding through engineering school, my whole mission was making sure every project was absolutely flawless. I remember this one project in my sophomore year... I spent weeks obsessing over every tiny detail until it was perfect. When the day finally came and I pulled up the project on my Verizon laptop in front of the professor, the whole class went "whoa..." but then the next comment out of his mouth was just... pfft. Total dismissal. He basically implied there was no way I did it myself and suggested some random engineer must have handled it...🤦 🤦🤦
In the end, I got a measly C+. There were a couple of tiny math errors, but the real reason I got stuck with a C was because the prof didn't even believe I could pull it off alone, so he punished me for it. Man, I was livid. It felt like my entire world just collapsed. I swore right then that the next one would be five times better. And it was. I still remember the whole class crowding around the professor's desk to see it—flawless, not a single flaw. Even looking back at it today, I'm like, damn, I really had talent... So that became the pattern. Everyone would wait to see when my next project would drop; I was the gold standard, while everyone else was just average no matter how hard they tried...😁
It was like that with pretty much everything. I wasn't looking for a little spark; I wanted that full-blown, mind-blowing orgasm of achievement that leaves you dazed for half an hour. That was the vibe for everything I touched. Even getting my driver's license—I thought I totally failed the written part, but the instructor called me up by name and said, "Man, incredible job, not a single mistake." Then during the actual driving test, I drove for thirteen hours straight before he even asked if I wanted to pass. Of course I passed, first try. It was great while it lasted, but eventually, you grow up. You stop caring about proving yourself because you just know you're worth something by default. Things start feeling more like chores, and the drive to overachieve fades. You realize life is way too short for all that nonsense, so you stop wasting so much energy on those stupid little things...

Man, this sounds even worse than what I went through.

Robert Reyes4 said:I still haven't quite figured out if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.

Maybe this might help you out 🙂

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-p...ing.htm?bhcp=1

Dana Phillips4 said:Maybe this might help you out 🙂

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-p...ing.htm?bhcp=1

Thanks!
I read a book on the subject, but I'm still not totally sure. Every time I take those tests, my results for P and J end up being pretty much neck and neck.