Living with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder

George Garcia9 said:"FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT"—that's exactly what I do😉 when I'm out at school, out on the town, grabbing coffee... okay, but once I'm home alone...... total depression. 😢 Dammit.

But whatever, I'm not giving up. I'm celebrating my birthday, I'm going to class, and I know I have to work on myself because clearly my therapist isn't doing the trick... so, yeah. Think pink, do your best, and screw the rest. 🙂

You're making progress, seriously. Hang in there! 🙂

Look, here’s my situation... I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to hit the reset button—fighting against all those bad habits, deciding to finally do something for myself, you know?
But every single time, I just quit. I fail. And now, both consciously and subconsciously, the willpower and motivation are just gone. It’s like there's this internal voice telling me I won't make it this time either, and I don't even know how to fight back anymore.
It’s a terrible feeling... 😢

Douglas King9 said:Look, here’s my situation... I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to hit the reset button—fighting against all those bad habits, deciding to finally do something for myself, you know?
But every single time, I just quit. I fail. And now, both consciously and subconsciously, the willpower and motivation are just gone. It’s like there's this internal voice telling me I won't make it this time either, and I don't even know how to fight back anymore.
It’s a terrible feeling... 😢

That's exactly where I'm at today too. A panic attack almost took me out again, but I was so exhausted I just crashed. Things were actually looking up for a second, and then out of nowhere today, everything just tanked again. Now I'm just sitting here feeling pathetic and miserable, but angry at the same time 🙂

Hey everyone... I’m honestly not sure where to post this or what category this falls under... or even what to do next... I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what exactly is going on...

What is actually happening here???
I'm not sure if it qualifies as an eating disorder or not... but every time I eat, I feel like I look absolutely terrible. I get so irritable and fall into these depressive moods because I feel like fat is just "accumulating" on my body...
On the other hand, I love food far too much, so trying to starve myself just drives me insane... sometimes I actually end up overeating to the point where I can barely breathe... and then I just want to die. I remember one time I was even looking into ways to end it all...
Most of the time, I just eat apples... and I'll go through two or three pounds of them in a single day 😠 😠 😠 😲 😲 😲 😲

I am so angry at myself.... I feel such shame, and I'm losing my mind because I can't seem to manage this anymore.

HELP

Roger Morgan2 said:You're making progress, seriously. Hang in there! 🙂

thanks Roger 😘

Mark Brooks6 said:Hey everyone... I’m honestly not sure where to post this or what category this falls under... or even what to do next... I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what exactly is going on...

What is actually happening here???
I'm not sure if it qualifies as an eating disorder or not... but every time I eat, I feel like I look absolutely terrible. I get so irritable and fall into these depressive moods because I feel like fat is just "accumulating" on my body...
On the other hand, I love food far too much, so trying to starve myself just drives me insane... sometimes I actually end up overeating to the point where I can barely breathe... and then I just want to die. I remember one time I was even looking into ways to end it all...
Most of the time, I just eat apples... and I'll go through two or three pounds of them in a single day 😠 😠 😠 😲 😲 😲 😲

I am so angry at myself.... I feel such shame, and I'm losing my mind because I can't seem to manage this anymore.

HELP

hey, well, at least someone finally spoke up about having an eating disorder 😁 though obviously I'm sorry you're going through this, because I know exactly how it feels 😢
I'm not sure if you're leaning toward Binge Eating Disorder or anorexia.... (since you mentioned the apples lol). tell me, what's your weight like, "objectively"—are you thin / average / overweight?

I used to call myself "binging Anne," basically awannabe anorexic who just overeats 😁 my usual way of losing weight is just living on soup and juice for a couple of weeks... but then again.. I have periods where I pig out like crazy 🙄 and generally, I HATE the feeling after I eat anything—anything at all. I feel "dirty"... and then I "punish" myself by stuffing my face like a cow 🙄 😂 and when I'm in a "good" phase, I don't eat or I eat incredibly little... it's just a cycle.... it's messed up, I know 👎

anyway, this isn't common knowledge—eating disorders aren't "black and white," meaning you don't just have anorexia and stop eating, or bulimia and purge. there are tons of combinations of the two; actually, there are three things (including bingeing) and it's different for everyone... if you spend every single day obsessing over food (whether you don't want to eat it, or you want to kill yourself because of food), hating yourself, thinking you're fat, wanting to end it all because of your looks and/or eating habits---> it's a disorder. regardless of what you call it 🤷

hang in there!!! 😘

Man, I just started high school and I feel the exact same way!!! It sucks, right? During my first month of freshman year, I felt super weird and depressed because every time I head to school, I have no clue who I’m gonna hang out with. Everyone is new to me except for this one buddy from middle school that I wasn't even that close to. I take the bus to school, and that’s the only time I feel okay since almost all my old middle school friends are on there. Then I just remember I'll be getting off soon and having to split up from them at 6:00, only to meet back up later! But... thinking about how boring school is going to be doesn't help. Once I actually get to campus, things start to ease up a bit and I relax (honestly, just typing this makes me feel a little better). Then I wait until 7:00 PM to hit the bus stop, meet up with my old crew again, and I'm 🙂 happy... honestly, that's the best part of my day. At the end, we ride the bus home, some people head my way and it's cool, while others split off. I get home and fall back into a bit of a slump, so I just hop on the computer (trying to make sure I don't spend *all* my time on it so I don't become a total shut-in). In the morning, it's just me and my parents at home. So I spend some time gaming and some time studying!(I probably should've made a new thread)
After studying, I catch the bus to school, and it's the same routine every day. What can I say... weekends... hmm... On Saturdays, I wake up around 10:00 AM, game, eat, game, watch TV, game, sleep! BORING, right?... And then Sunday hits. I wake up at 9:00 AM, go to church, come back, game a little, eat, and then around 3:00 PM that weird feeling starts creeping in again because tomorrow is Monday and the weekend basically vanished. I feel depressed all over again thinking about what I'm gonna do at school since everyone is new, etc. And it feels like it's gonna stay this way until the end of the school year. I forgot to mention that I have afternoon classes, which really messes with me. I'm really hoping next year is better since I'll be on the morning schedule, but when I think about why that would actually help... I realize it's just because I liked the morning routine back in middle school. I never felt this way back then, ever, and I'd give anything to be back in middle school. But I'm holding onto hope that next year will be better.

How can I feel better???

Most teenagers feel this way, no matter how cliché that sounds... it’ll likely pass once you fall in love for real, like, that actual teenage heartbreak kind of deal😍

George Garcia9 said:hey, well, at least someone finally spoke up about having an eating disorder 😁 though obviously I'm sorry you're going through this, because I know exactly how it feels 😢
I'm not sure if you're leaning toward Binge Eating Disorder or anorexia.... (since you mentioned the apples lol). tell me, what's your weight like, "objectively"—are you thin / average / overweight?

I used to call myself "binging Anne," basically awannabe anorexic who just overeats 😁 my usual way of losing weight is just living on soup and juice for a couple of weeks... but then again.. I have periods where I pig out like crazy 🙄 and generally, I HATE the feeling after I eat anything—anything at all. I feel "dirty"... and then I "punish" myself by stuffing my face like a cow 🙄 😂 and when I'm in a "good" phase, I don't eat or I eat incredibly little... it's just a cycle.... it's messed up, I know 👎

anyway, this isn't common knowledge—eating disorders aren't "black and white," meaning you don't just have anorexia and stop eating, or bulimia and purge. there are tons of combinations of the two; actually, there are three things (including bingeing) and it's different for everyone... if you spend every single day obsessing over food (whether you don't want to eat it, or you want to kill yourself because of food), hating yourself, thinking you're fat, wanting to end it all because of your looks and/or eating habits---> it's a disorder. regardless of what you call it 🤷

hang in there!!! 😘

Hey... you actually kind of "cheered me up," or made me laugh, I guess... because I think you really get what I mean. There are definitely days when I overeat (right now it's been lasting for about a month), but I don't even eat anything substantial. I force myself to eat when my nerves are shot or when I feel too weak to function—like grabbing some seed bread from a health food store or maybe a chicken breast... but I just see it as unnecessary calories. In my head, I'm always telling myself, "Fruit—you can eat as much of that as you want," so I'm constantly stuck on that mindset. If I'm hungry, I'll grab an apple instead of a pastry every single time.

Weight... hmm. I used to struggle with being overweight—really overweight. But I lost 30 pounds in three months, and now I'm 121 lbs at 5'3". My doctor is losing her mind because my liver enzymes are acting up, so she referred me to a specialist clinic for psychological help under an eating disorder diagnosis.

My daily schedule is basically based on managing my time around what I can buy outside the house and how much time I have for my stomach to "flatten out" before I have to go out. But when I'm home... once I've eaten (read: overeaten), 😛 I just lie in bed and curl my legs up so I don't have to look at my stomach.

What really gets under my skin and leaves me feeling miserable is how everyone seems to admire my weight loss and my personality... meanwhile, I feel like a total fraud because, in reality, I can't stop binge eating.

William Brooks35 said:Man, I just started high school and I feel the exact same way!!! It sucks, right? During my first month of freshman year, I felt super weird and depressed because every time I head to school, I have no clue who I’m gonna hang out with. Everyone is new to me except for this one buddy from middle school that I wasn't even that close to. I take the bus to school, and that’s the only time I feel okay since almost all my old middle school friends are on there. Then I just remember I'll be getting off soon and having to split up from them at 6:00, only to meet back up later! But... thinking about how boring school is going to be doesn't help. Once I actually get to campus, things start to ease up a bit and I relax (honestly, just typing this makes me feel a little better). Then I wait until 7:00 PM to hit the bus stop, meet up with my old crew again, and I'm 🙂 happy... honestly, that's the best part of my day. At the end, we ride the bus home, some people head my way and it's cool, while others split off. I get home and fall back into a bit of a slump, so I just hop on the computer (trying to make sure I don't spend *all* my time on it so I don't become a total shut-in). In the morning, it's just me and my parents at home. So I spend some time gaming and some time studying!(I probably should've made a new thread)
After studying, I catch the bus to school, and it's the same routine every day. What can I say... weekends... hmm... On Saturdays, I wake up around 10:00 AM, game, eat, game, watch TV, game, sleep! BORING, right?... And then Sunday hits. I wake up at 9:00 AM, go to church, come back, game a little, eat, and then around 3:00 PM that weird feeling starts creeping in again because tomorrow is Monday and the weekend basically vanished. I feel depressed all over again thinking about what I'm gonna do at school since everyone is new, etc. And it feels like it's gonna stay this way until the end of the school year. I forgot to mention that I have afternoon classes, which really messes with me. I'm really hoping next year is better since I'll be on the morning schedule, but when I think about why that would actually help... I realize it's just because I liked the morning routine back in middle school. I never felt this way back then, ever, and I'd give anything to be back in middle school. But I'm holding onto hope that next year will be better.

How can I feel better???

Ugh, high school 😍 Look, try to actually bond with some people in your class; you're bound to find one or two people you actually vibe with!!! If I, being a crazy burnout in the most intense prep school in Chicago, managed to find 3 good girlfriends to hang out and mess around with while everyone else was acting like total geeks—there's hope for everyone 😁 And yeah, high school sucks—but it gets better!!!

It's totally normal that you need TIME to adjust to a new situation and new people, and it's perfectly normal to feel a little lost, especially during the teen years... you're doing fine. Good luck 😉

And yeah, I think you should have opened a new thread just for yourself because, well, this is my thread for people dealing with clinical depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, and your problem is—thankfully—a bit smaller.😘

Stay far away from eating disorders...

PLEASE!!!

Anything else, just not this!! I’ve been struggling with bulimia for almost four years now, and for the last year, I’ve tried to pull myself out of it on my own, but it’s just not working... I’ve sought help, and it’s still incredibly hard. It’s a cocktail of psychological fallout—depression, anxiety, loneliness, wanting to run away from everything, from yourself, from your friends... it's a horror show, and don't even get me started on the physical toll on your digestion, stomach, and everything else...
My whole world has fallen apart, both mentally and physically. I can't focus on my studies, I can't think straight, and I can't be the person I used to be—I can't feel normal!! It feels like everything has just gone down the drain, but I am desperate to claw my way out of this and finish this fight once and for all. This battle has been going on for so long, filled with constant setbacks and small victories, but there's no end in sight, and if I keep going like this, I could lose everything.
So please, cherish what you have. Protect your health, because it is your most powerful tool. I lost mine, and now I'm fighting just to find a single spark of joy again...
I’ve reached out to doctors and psychiatrists, and recently I saw a specialist who has extensive experience dealing with these types of disorders. The issue is that I only see him once every two weeks through an association, so I’m going to ask if he can work with me privately instead...

Anyway, if anyone has any advice, resources, a book recommendation, or anything at all, I would be so grateful....

take care, everyone

David Harris12 said:Stay far away from eating disorders...

PLEASE!!!

Anything else, just not this!! I’ve been struggling with bulimia for almost four years now, and for the last year, I’ve tried to pull myself out of it on my own, but it’s just not working... I’ve sought help, and it’s still incredibly hard. It’s a cocktail of psychological fallout—depression, anxiety, loneliness, wanting to run away from everything, from yourself, from your friends... it's a horror show, and don't even get me started on the physical toll on your digestion, stomach, and everything else...
My whole world has fallen apart, both mentally and physically. I can't focus on my studies, I can't think straight, and I can't be the person I used to be—I can't feel normal!! It feels like everything has just gone down the drain, but I am desperate to claw my way out of this and finish this fight once and for all. This battle has been going on for so long, filled with constant setbacks and small victories, but there's no end in sight, and if I keep going like this, I could lose everything.
So please, cherish what you have. Protect your health, because it is your most powerful tool. I lost mine, and now I'm fighting just to find a single spark of joy again...
I’ve reached out to doctors and psychiatrists, and recently I saw a specialist who has extensive experience dealing with these types of disorders. The issue is that I only see him once every two weeks through an association, so I’m going to ask if he can work with me privately instead...

Anyway, if anyone has any advice, resources, a book recommendation, or anything at all, I would be so grateful....

take care, everyone

Hey 🙂 I'm so sorry you're dealing with bulimia... (I honestly wish I had it, but I can't bring myself to purge 😛 thank God...) but I am glad you're fighting and that you want to recover 👍

I'm not sure about books, but I can give you some recovery links to check out; maybe they'll help 😉

http://www.mirror-mirror.org

http://www.pale-reflections.com

http://www.something-fishy.org

http://www.anred.com

http://www.bodycage.com

http://facetheissue.com

http://www.makaylashealingplace.com

http://www.myeatingdisordersguide.com

There you go. By the way, I heard there's an association called "Nada" in New York for eating disorders... have you been there?

How often are you purging, if you don't mind me asking? Every day, or just occasionally...?

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!! 😘

Thanks for the support and all the links, even though my English isn't exactly my strongest suit. I was actually thinking more along the lines of self-help books, psychology texts, and things like that.

I’ve heard about the Nada association, but unfortunately, I’m not in the NYC area right now. Damn.
I’ve been talking to this one psychologist—I don't know, she's young and honestly, it feels like she barely knows what she's doing. It's like I'm her training manual. I just vent and repeat the same patterns over and over, and she just nods along with everything I say. She tells me she "understands" and that "things are hard," but give me a break!
I realize she can't fix me overnight, but I guess I expected more, so I'm feeling a bit let down, even if she's a nice person. I'll see how things progress with her...

How much do I purge? Hm. There isn't really a set rule for it. Some days it's all day long, and other times I fight it with everything I've got—like right now, where I manage to hold out for a few days before it all falls apart again. This constant cycle of starting over is killing me because I lie, lie, and lie to myself. I tell myself "never again," then I go and do it anyway, and then I spiral into regret, crying and losing my mind, obsessed with it all day long. It's nothing but a fake escape and self-deception; it just drags you into an even deeper pit. I've been sinking like this for years and I truly feel stuck. Sometimes I pray to God to just take me, but then I snap out of it and realize there's a reason I'm still here. At the end of the day, I have to carry my own cross and bear this burden on my shoulders. The strength is within us; the answers are inside us. I'm finally realizing that this is a battle that will continue until I finally make peace with it and look the truth straight in the eye!!
Every single day is a struggle to stay vigilant because the line I'm walking is so thin and fragile. I pray to God for clarity and the sheer persistence needed to organize the chaos in my head and the discord in my body...

Just ask whatever you want to know. Nothing I read or see here strikes me as strange. Bulimia is basically a cocktail of all these different illnesses combined. Just imagine how much I need to strip away just to live a normal life. Of all my old dreams and delusions, there's only one thought left in my head: "The desire for a normal life and a sane mind!"

KISS

Alright, look, based on the self-help books I've actually read, I can recommend a few things:

"Depression: How to Escape Your Own Prison" by Dorothy Rowe

"Awareness" by Anthony de Mello

"The power of your subconscious" by Joseph Murphy

"live your whole life" by Norman Vincent Peale

"power of intention" by Wayne Dyer

That first one about depression is great; it makes you look at yourself and the root causes of how you're feeling in a totally different way. The second one is awesome too because it kind of snaps you out of that self-pity loop (plus it's short 😉 I have it as a PDF, so if you DM me, I can email it to you)

As for the last three, they’re a bit "New Age," but I actually love that stuff, haha. It’s basically that philosophy of "think positive and tell yourself 'I CAN DO THIS' before bed." It really helped me get moving and start believing in myself back when I was dealing with massive anxiety and zero confidence... so, head to the library, and if you stumble upon any other good ones, let me know 🙂

It's a shame you aren't comfortable with English, because there are some really solid recovery sites out there—at least they seem that way to me...

You know what? The most important thing is that you actually like this psychologist! That matters so much!! You need to feel comfortable talking to her and knowing she's actually listening. Everything is in our heads anyway, and until we realize that (and say it out loud), nothing changes... just go see her. There might be times when it feels like it isn't working, but it will get better. Like you said yourself, nothing fixes overnight 😉

I know bulimia is incredibly tough because it creates this "addiction" to purging (at least that's how I understood it from friends dealing with the same thing). But like you said—this is our fight, and the winner is whoever refuses to quit. And that's us!!!!!!

I think there's a specific thread on the women's forum about bulimia, so maybe reach out to those girls if you haven't already; someone there might have some actual useful advice.

All I can tell you is that old proverb: "Fall seven times, stand up eight!!" Meaning, don't give up and don't hate yourself when you stumble, because it's "normal" that you won't break a habit instantly or overnight. Try telling yourself, "I'm not going to purge for 7 days," make that your life mission, and then REWARD yourself when you succeed. Next time, aim for two weeks, then a month... and if you slip up—get back up and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER stop believing in yourself!!! 😉

I think you have a strong enough desire and willpower to fight and win. Just keep fighting and don't quit; it'll be worth it... yeah, it's going to be "bloody" and there will be brutal days... but you've already survived so much, you can handle this 👍

Let me know how it's going. Hope you have a nice (rainy) day 😘

My dear!!!

I honestly can’t believe how much strength and support I find in your words...
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
I'm doing okay today. I'm staying resilient and staying mindful through every single moment of the day. I've kept to myself all day, but I'm staying calm and keeping my thoughts under control... You are absolutely right about that timeline—whether it takes a week, two weeks, or more. I used to struggle with that same mindset, but I'm starting over now because there really isn't any other way. I've decided to set this weekend as my deadline, then I'll head to see my doctor on Monday; I think they'll give me that extra push I need...
Every bit of support, advice, comfort, and empathy means the world to me. It’s such a relief to know you aren't alone and that there's someone out there who actually gets it. Honestly, I still check out the bulimia threads occasionally, but I try to avoid them as much as possible. It just becomes one more obsession; when I read those endless posts where people are just venting about eating and purging and whatnot, it hits my subconscious whether I want it to or not. That's why I only go in there when I have a clear, level head. It’s a vicious cycle—you get caught up in it, and seeing all those other struggling girls makes you feel weak, which just pulls you right back down into the pit...
That’s why we all need to surround ourselves with a healthy environment and let it influence us. We have to open up and actually believe in change—believe that we can be more stable, more secure versions of ourselves. We have to accept the good and trust in it. We can't just keep punishing ourselves, shutting down, and retreating into our own shells of lies, depression, exhaustion, and despair. I am going to fight. All of us have to fight, day in and day out... but humans are too fragile to do it entirely on their own. That's why having family, doctors, and most importantly, divine strength, is vital. It's the kind of help we can always reach for. For me, God is my greatest source of strength. The devil is powerful, but God is almighty. I think we are all spiritually wounded and lost sometimes, taking the path of least resistance and leaning toward evil. But there is also that other side of us—the spiritual side that we might have lost, but we can and must find again. He is within us, and we need to live for Him, NOW!!! Every single day and every single moment....

Kisses, dear. I hope we talk again soon...😉

I'm really glad you're feeling better 😉 just keep fighting and pushing through, it’ll all be worth it in the end!! good luck this weekend YOU GOT THIS!! 👍

And yeah, what you said about how bulimia just "pulls you back in"... honestly, I had an eating disorder episode two years ago. I started hanging out on those pro-ana sites and blogs and became completely obsessed. Every time I ate anything, I just started hating myself....

So I stopped visiting those pages. Then, after about six months, I gained weight, but mentally I felt "fine" and decided to start losing it the "healthy" way: dieting, working out, staying positive... BUT then I went right back to those blogs and they pulled me under again. I got obsessed all over again, stopped eating, and even though I lost as much weight as I planned, I still looked fat to myself... I seriously thought I was stronger than that kind of mindset, but clearly I wasn't 😁

You made a great point about believing in yourself and in what's good, and not punishing yourself 🙂 that part is a little harder for me 🙄 I'm only "happy" with myself if I don't eat, and if I actually eat something, I "punish" myself by overeating 😁 like, "here you go, you fat bitch, now just gorge yourself and hate yourself even more" 😠 I really need to work on that...

You mentioned God. I'm not religious in the traditional sense, but I do believe in God. I'm not sure if I believe He is "within" us or "outside" of us, but I believe He can help us if we try to help ourselves 😉 and if you're a true believer—that's awesome!! find strength in Him, trust Him, and lean on Him when things get toughest. We all have some kind of "mission" in life, and I truly believe our mission is to OVERCOME our disorders, learn from them, and become better, more compassionate people 🙂

Sending lots of luck for this weekend, kisses!!!!! 😘

Hey... I gotta be honest, reading your posts really helps me out. You actually give me a bit of courage...🙂 It’s honestly great seeing you take on all those problems head-on....

Hey girl!!

I made it through the weekend, and today I actually won the battle against my anxiety. If it tries to come back, I’m ready to kick its ass again!! My big secret is just trying to stay present in every single moment—that self-awareness is what really keeps me grounded. Just being awake right here, right now, and staying conscious of everything I'm doing, the thoughts popping up, and all those little mental bugs crawling around my head... I fight them off however I can, just stomping them down!! It’s going well so far and I am definitely not giving up. I know I have a massive amount of work to do on myself, but I’m taking it day by day, slow and steady. I'm learning to celebrate every tiny bit of progress and every small step forward...
You mentioned earlier that you've seen psychiatrists—did any of that actually help? Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet? I’ve started seeing this doctor, but only twice a month, and I actually have another session today. I’m looking forward to it because I feel like he truly gets me, though he isn't the type to sugarcoat things or coddle me. Last time, he was incredibly blunt and laid out some truths I hadn't fully faced before—basically the real dangers of this self-sabotaging behavior, both physically and mentally... Honestly, he read me like an open book just by looking me in the eye. I felt so happy afterward, even if I was a little shaken up... but it was a good kind of shaken up, like I had this extra burst of motivation to pull myself together.
So, how do you deal with everything inside your own head? I'm sure you're also working on yourself and questioning things every single day; I mean, everyone does that. Both "normal" people and those struggling, everyone... it's just that we have to dig much deeper and analyze ourselves more intensely because our situations are atypical compared to everyone else, which makes handling our emotions and anxieties so much harder...

xoxo

CONGRATS!!!! 🎉 🎉 🎉 👋 you should be incredibly proud of yourself—let that feeling fuel you to keep pushing forward just like this 👍

You hit the nail on the head there. Self-awareness is everything. You have to be conscious of every single thought and KICK OUT every "evil" impulse that creeps in. Like, give a kick to the little devil on your shoulder telling you to "just binge eat and pass out" or "you can't handle this." You’ve got to toss those thoughts in the trash at 3 PM before they ever turn into actual actions. Personally, staying slammed with work helps me; between my job and classes, I honestly don't even have the headspace for "dark thoughts" 😛

Honestly, my psychiatrist is a total joke 👎 I'll just handle this myself because I really DON'T feel like hunting for a new doctor right now, plus I have zero free time...

I'm seriously glad you had better luck with psychiatrists than I did!!! 🙂

I'm actually doing okay right now because I'm buried in schoolwork, so I forget how much of a mess I am, haha. Guess there's some actual use for college after all...

Sending love, just keep going 😘