I'm about to relapse, please help!

Steven Lopez19 said:Some people realize how bad things are when they hit rock bottom, while others—like the author here—just keep hunting for excuses and justifications...
She doesn't need to justify anything to us; she needs to justify it to herself and her kid...
If she actually gave a damn, she’d be making an effort instead of digging for excuses..

spot on👍 👍
sadly, it looks like she hasn't even hit rock bottom yet—because if she had, she'd feel the sting. she wouldn't be out here looking for excuses or advice, because there's really only one way out, and I'm pretty sure she knows it without all this back-and-forth: sheer willpower and getting professional help if needed to get clean from drugs!!!
that's just the reality of it.

Steven Lopez19 said:You’re never going to be able to explain that to an addict who has no desire to quit...
and Sakoman 👎 👎 👎

There's a reason they call him Sajkoman..

I’m not sure if any of you have heard about blockers.
They basically neutralize the effects of any drugs, including heroin.
There are three types available >> pills, injections, and implants.

I stick to the pills because they’re the cheapest option. One pill lasts me two days, and during that time, I can take as much coke as I want and it’ll feel like I just drank a glass of water. It’s the same deal with oxycodone, Tramadol, and stuff like that.
Now, an implant that lasts two months goes for about $650, and an injection that works for a month is around $430.
Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

I recently heard there’s this new injection that lasts for an entire year! And wouldn't you know it, it costs $3,200...?!

A blocker is hands down the most effective way to get clean, mostly because you realize there's no point in chasing a high when you know it won't hit.
If some "addict" were to get that one-year injection, do you know what that actually means for them?
It means no coke for a whole year. And during those twelve months, they aren't just going to sit at home waiting for the clock to run out; they’ll likely try to get back into a normal routine.

So, I’m asking you good people—specifically those working in the outpatient clinics who claim to care so much about helping addicts recover—can't this be made a little more affordable, or even free???

It's just more proof that everything is about the money. Nobody actually gives a damn about us addicts.

Noah Sanchez7 said:I’m not sure if any of you have heard about blockers.
They basically neutralize the effects of any drugs, including heroin.
There are three types available >> pills, injections, and implants.

I stick to the pills because they’re the cheapest option. One pill lasts me two days, and during that time, I can take as much coke as I want and it’ll feel like I just drank a glass of water. It’s the same deal with oxycodone, Tramadol, and stuff like that.
Now, an implant that lasts two months goes for about $650, and an injection that works for a month is around $430.
Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

I recently heard there’s this new injection that lasts for an entire year! And wouldn't you know it, it costs $3,200...?!

A blocker is hands down the most effective way to get clean, mostly because you realize there's no point in chasing a high when you know it won't hit.
If some "addict" were to get that one-year injection, do you know what that actually means for them?
It means no coke for a whole year. And during those twelve months, they aren't just going to sit at home waiting for the clock to run out; they’ll likely try to get back into a normal routine.

So, I’m asking you good people—specifically those working in the outpatient clinics who claim to care so much about helping addicts recover—can't this be made a little more affordable, or even free???

It's just more proof that everything is about the money. Nobody actually gives a damn about us addicts.

Don't get mad at me, but despite all my effort and trying to be understanding, I just don't get this...
The message to kids is basically: "Go ahead and get high all you want, because there are blockers that make quitting easier—and hey, they're free!"

And besides, why should anyone else have to care about you getting clean? With all due respect, I think you're the ones who actually have to want it and work for it.
Yeah... all the help in the world won't matter if you don't use your own willpower to say "ENOUGH!!"

Noah Sanchez7 said:I’m not sure if any of you have heard about blockers.
They basically neutralize the effects of any drugs, including heroin.
There are three types available >> pills, injections, and implants.

I stick to the pills because they’re the cheapest option. One pill lasts me two days, and during that time, I can take as much coke as I want and it’ll feel like I just drank a glass of water. It’s the same deal with oxycodone, Tramadol, and stuff like that.
Now, an implant that lasts two months goes for about $650, and an injection that works for a month is around $430.
Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

I recently heard there’s this new injection that lasts for an entire year! And wouldn't you know it, it costs $3,200...?!

A blocker is hands down the most effective way to get clean, mostly because you realize there's no point in chasing a high when you know it won't hit.
If some "addict" were to get that one-year injection, do you know what that actually means for them?
It means no coke for a whole year. And during those twelve months, they aren't just going to sit at home waiting for the clock to run out; they’ll likely try to get back into a normal routine.

So, I’m asking you good people—specifically those working in the outpatient clinics who claim to care so much about helping addicts recover—can't this be made a little more affordable, or even free???

It's just more proof that everything is about the money. Nobody actually gives a damn about us addicts.

Honestly? For me, it’s more about feeling bad for you guys. You really are in a tough spot.

Noah Sanchez7 said:I’m not sure if any of you have heard about blockers.
They basically neutralize the effects of any drugs, including heroin.
There are three types available >> pills, injections, and implants.

I stick to the pills because they’re the cheapest option. One pill lasts me two days, and during that time, I can take as much coke as I want and it’ll feel like I just drank a glass of water. It’s the same deal with oxycodone, Tramadol, and stuff like that.
Now, an implant that lasts two months goes for about $650, and an injection that works for a month is around $430.
Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

I recently heard there’s this new injection that lasts for an entire year! And wouldn't you know it, it costs $3,200...?!

A blocker is hands down the most effective way to get clean, mostly because you realize there's no point in chasing a high when you know it won't hit.
If some "addict" were to get that one-year injection, do you know what that actually means for them?
It means no coke for a whole year. And during those twelve months, they aren't just going to sit at home waiting for the clock to run out; they’ll likely try to get back into a normal routine.

So, I’m asking you good people—specifically those working in the outpatient clinics who claim to care so much about helping addicts recover—can't this be made a little more affordable, or even free???

It's just more proof that everything is about the money. Nobody actually gives a damn about us addicts.

Someone would drop $50 on coke every single day, but wouldn't pay $3,200 for a yearly blocker? What kind of logic is that? It feels totally irrational—I guess it's just addict logic. 🤣
They'd be lining dealers' pockets every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and then once the money runs out and they hit withdrawal, they start demanding free healthcare. That's when it's "Help me, doctor, you're too expensive." But it wasn't "too expensive" when they were choosing to snort or smoke every day.

Yeah, great. 🙄

George Davis6 said:Honestly? For me, it’s more about feeling bad for you guys. You really are in a tough spot.

I guess you have a point..
reading that post, it reminds me of those pride parades and all that push for rights..where's the money coming from?..if you want to deal with the consequences of your own choices—it's your call. if someone forced you or pushed you—no... then nobody's stopping you, so just stay quiet and suck it up however you see fit..
it's the same thing with addicts..
who's to blame if they choose to use..if they're making foolish decisions, that's on them..in a few years, there'll just be one less fool out there.🙂

You clearly don't get it, and honestly, you're the ones acting pathetic here.

I'm not asking for anyone's help, yet everyone keeps pulling at me, expecting ME to be the one to step up.
Who am I talking about? This entire society.

If you all claim to be such big-hearted philanthropists and humanitarians, then why aren't you providing these medications for free? Instead, pharmaceutical giants just want to make a quick buck off some "poor addict."
It’s like they’d rather we just buy a thousand doses from them than let a dealer handle it.
That is pure hypocrisy, and it's the worst kind.

And that is exactly why I'll go to the dealers first.

quiethound45 said:I guess you have a point..
reading that post, it reminds me of those pride parades and all that push for rights..where's the money coming from?..if you want to deal with the consequences of your own choices—it's your call. if someone forced you or pushed you—no... then nobody's stopping you, so just stay quiet and suck it up however you see fit..
it's the same thing with addicts..
who's to blame if they choose to use..if they're making foolish decisions, that's on them..in a few years, there'll just be one less fool out there.🙂

shame on you! 👎

Just to reiterate, I am done using drugs.;

But really, is it actually abnormal to fight for the rights of others, even when there is nothing in it for you??!!

Think about it..

There are noble causes worth fighting for, and then there’s just utopian nonsense..
It’s like how if you start looking for the first kind, tomorrow a predator will be demanding their rights too, because we're apparently so pathetic that we won't admit they should be locked away for hurting a six-year-old, or that they need society to provide them with medication because they're sick and it's a mental health issue.
I could maybe wrap my head around that, since a mental disorder is a condition that might be subconsciously driven, but to consciously and willfully inject yourself three times a day—systematically destroying yourself and everyone around you through sheer habit—that’s just pure stupidity.
Well, if someone wants to live like that, more power to them..
Helping people who systematically and intentionally create their own messes, only to turn around and demand the government or the system step in to support their "choice" to engage in such idiocy—isn't that the definition of a utopia?
If you consciously dragged yourself into the gutter out of your own weakness or desire, then you should be the one pulling yourself out.
Nobody is forcing anyone to use drugs..
You reap what you sow..
That's just how it works..
And nothing in this world is free. People work to feed their families, from doctors to pharmaceutical companies. So you expect people to work for free for some idiot who decided to indulge themselves, wasted massive amounts of money on insurance or healthcare, and ended up ruining lives—including their own—only to play the victim and claim they're too weak and sick to need help without assistance?
Give me a break..
You're talking nonsense...
There are starving people and those with terminal illnesses in this world...
People like that should be charged double instead of getting everything handed to them for free. It's already more than enough that they get access to sterile needles and generic prescriptions. In my opinion, that money could have been spent much better elsewhere..
Because these individuals are hollowed out inside. They're ruins. They have always been, and always will be, a drain on society.
Instead of helping someone with cerebral palsy, the resources go to an idiot capable of stealing from their own mother for a single gram..
If they're willing to sell themselves for insurance coverage, then they can sell themselves to pay for their treatment, if that's truly what they want...

quiethound45 said:There are noble causes worth fighting for, and then there’s just utopian nonsense..
It’s like how if you start looking for the first kind, tomorrow a predator will be demanding their rights too, because we're apparently so pathetic that we won't admit they should be locked away for hurting a six-year-old, or that they need society to provide them with medication because they're sick and it's a mental health issue.
I could maybe wrap my head around that, since a mental disorder is a condition that might be subconsciously driven, but to consciously and willfully inject yourself three times a day—systematically destroying yourself and everyone around you through sheer habit—that’s just pure stupidity.
Well, if someone wants to live like that, more power to them..
Helping people who systematically and intentionally create their own messes, only to turn around and demand the government or the system step in to support their "choice" to engage in such idiocy—isn't that the definition of a utopia?
If you consciously dragged yourself into the gutter out of your own weakness or desire, then you should be the one pulling yourself out.
Nobody is forcing anyone to use drugs..
You reap what you sow..
That's just how it works..
And nothing in this world is free. People work to feed their families, from doctors to pharmaceutical companies. So you expect people to work for free for some idiot who decided to indulge themselves, wasted massive amounts of money on insurance or healthcare, and ended up ruining lives—including their own—only to play the victim and claim they're too weak and sick to need help without assistance?
Give me a break..
You're talking nonsense...
There are starving people and those with terminal illnesses in this world...
People like that should be charged double instead of getting everything handed to them for free. It's already more than enough that they get access to sterile needles and generic prescriptions. In my opinion, that money could have been spent much better elsewhere..
Because these individuals are hollowed out inside. They're ruins. They have always been, and always will be, a drain on society.
Instead of helping someone with cerebral palsy, the resources go to an idiot capable of stealing from their own mother for a single gram..
If they're willing to sell themselves for insurance coverage, then they can sell themselves to pay for their treatment, if that's truly what they want...

If you were any smarter, you wouldn't compare a predator to an addict.
A predator who directly inflicts physical and psychological pain on another person, especially a child, is not the same as an addict who, if they cause anyone pain, does it exclusively to themselves!!

Since you aren't any smarter, I can't really blame you..

Noah Sanchez7 said:If you were any smarter, you wouldn't compare a predator to an addict.
A predator who directly inflicts physical and psychological pain on another person, especially a child, is not the same as an addict who, if they cause anyone pain, does it exclusively to themselves!!

Since you aren't any smarter, I can't really blame you..

Regarding child abuse—maybe try re-reading your own comment alongside the very first post in this thread..
Hopefully, you'll see the connection there...😉

George Ramirez11 said:🙂 I'm a single mom to a wonderful two-year-old. That’s just the reality of things—my husband has been in prison for a year and a half now, and he'll be there for at least another year, maybe two more at most.
My struggle with heroin goes back about ten years. My little boy has everything he needs and then some; I honestly just adore him. I’ve never neglected him, though—to be fair, drugs don't even hit me the way they used to, so I don't really know where I stand with myself anymore. When I'm home, I'm just... normal. Even when I'm crashing, I haven't let it stop me from playing with my kid and giving him my full attention. If it comes down to it, the last cent I have is always spent on him if he needs something, never on getting high. I don't really have a social life, no shady characters hanging around the house, and I hardly ever go out. Maybe once a month, after I've finally gotten him to sleep, I'll sneak a hit somewhere, but even then, I'm glued to my phone just in case my mom calls because the little guy woke up. Long story short, I have one happy, hyperactive, giggly, playful kid who is just as head-over-heels for me as I am for him. When I actually have to leave the house for something, my mom (who lives with us) and I put on this whole little performance to distract him so he doesn't freak out. Otherwise, his crying just breaks me.
So, here's the thing. Two months ago, the police kicked our door down. They got a tip that I was dealing. They searched the place and found absolutely nothing, but—of course—they still managed to bring a caseworker from Child Protective Services right to my doorstep. Now I'm under supervision. These days, I'm basically signing away my rights (whether I want to or not) to comply with the oversight, and the whole process is starting...
Basically, the caseworker is going to contact me once a week to check if the kid is fed, clean, and all that. I can handle that part, but the other part is the problem. They’re going to drug test me whenever they feel like it. If I test positive, I lose custody. I won't say I'll lose my child, since custody would just go to my mother—whom I see and visit all the time anyway—but... still. I want to be a mother to my son. I don't know if people who haven't dealt with addiction can even wrap their heads around this. Even when the stakes are this high, I just can't seem to help myself. I guess I just don't have the willpower or the strength or whatever else it takes to stay clean for those few days needed to pass a test. I know I'm a good mom—honestly, better than a lot of them—but I don't know how to handle this. Losing custody isn't an option. Neither my son nor I would survive it.
How do I stay clean? Just to start—just to get through those first few days to pass the tests—and then we'll figure out the rest. I know I have to get rid of the drugs regardless of all this drama.
I'm not sure if any advice will actually help, but I know some support from people who actually understand the truth of this situation would go a long way...
Thanks.

This might sound harsh, but honestly? You’ll only stay clean if you freeze yourself out. Treat the pain and the suffering like a penance you deserve—a punishment that eventually pays off if you hold steady.

As long as you're wallowing in self-love, you're going to be an addict, even with the threat of Child Protective Services taking your kids away. I hope you pull through this. Maybe one day you'll actually get to watch your grandkids running around you, happy and free.

quiethound45 said:Regarding child abuse—maybe try re-reading your own comment alongside the very first post in this thread..
Hopefully, you'll see the connection there...😉

You should probably read through all the other posts alongside the first one; hopefully, that will give you a clearer picture of what's going on.

@Noah Sanchez7
You’re such an incredibly bright (young😕 ) guy, but it’s a real shame how much you’re weighed down by your addiction. Even if you aren't actively using, it’s like this shadow that follows you everywhere. Every single thread you start somehow circles back to drugs, and in every discussion—whether yours or someone else's—you try to convince people that using is actually cool, or even "healthy" (!), if they just choose to see it that way. Honestly, man, you really need to move past that innate, nihilistic streak of yours. 😉

@Teenah
I honestly don't get why you came here looking for help of any kind, because when I read through your posts, all I see is one apology after another. Do you want to know why your child cries the very second you step away from them? It's because they feel you—they sense your struggles and the grip your addiction has on you. Please, don't be naive and stop trying to convince yourself that what you're doing is "right" or the only way to handle your situation. If you truly wanted to get clean, you would have done it already. It really is as simple as that.
Instead, you showed up here and found support from yet another addict—one who, frankly, is still a question mark🙄 regarding whether he's actually sober—who now acts like some enlightened guru, lecturing everyone on the forum as if he’s the only person to ever survive this. 👎

brightridge59 said:@Noah Sanchez7
You’re such an incredibly bright (young😕 ) guy, but it’s a real shame how much you’re weighed down by your addiction. Even if you aren't actively using, it’s like this shadow that follows you everywhere. Every single thread you start somehow circles back to drugs, and in every discussion—whether yours or someone else's—you try to convince people that using is actually cool, or even "healthy" (!), if they just choose to see it that way. Honestly, man, you really need to move past that innate, nihilistic streak of yours. 😉

@Teenah
I honestly don't get why you came here looking for help of any kind, because when I read through your posts, all I see is one apology after another. Do you want to know why your child cries the very second you step away from them? It's because they feel you—they sense your struggles and the grip your addiction has on you. Please, don't be naive and stop trying to convince yourself that what you're doing is "right" or the only way to handle your situation. If you truly wanted to get clean, you would have done it already. It really is as simple as that.
Instead, you showed up here and found support from yet another addict—one who, frankly, is still a question mark🙄 regarding whether he's actually sober—who now acts like some enlightened guru, lecturing everyone on the forum as if he’s the only person to ever survive this. 👎

It makes sense.
I'm basically just a broken kid screaming for one more fix! 😁

No, all jokes aside.

The first part was accurate, but the second part wasn't quite right.
I never claimed that drug use is cool or healthy; I actually made that very clear in some of my previous posts.

Perhaps I am just currently channeling my intellect toward accepting addiction from a global perspective, just so I don't feel quite as guilty if I ever decide to go down that road again...🙄

Noah Sanchez7 said:I’m not sure if any of you have heard about blockers.
They basically neutralize the effects of any drugs, including heroin.
There are three types available >> pills, injections, and implants.

I stick to the pills because they’re the cheapest option. One pill lasts me two days, and during that time, I can take as much coke as I want and it’ll feel like I just drank a glass of water. It’s the same deal with oxycodone, Tramadol, and stuff like that.
Now, an implant that lasts two months goes for about $650, and an injection that works for a month is around $430.
Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

I recently heard there’s this new injection that lasts for an entire year! And wouldn't you know it, it costs $3,200...?!

A blocker is hands down the most effective way to get clean, mostly because you realize there's no point in chasing a high when you know it won't hit.
If some "addict" were to get that one-year injection, do you know what that actually means for them?
It means no coke for a whole year. And during those twelve months, they aren't just going to sit at home waiting for the clock to run out; they’ll likely try to get back into a normal routine.

So, I’m asking you good people—specifically those working in the outpatient clinics who claim to care so much about helping addicts recover—can't this be made a little more affordable, or even free???

It's just more proof that everything is about the money. Nobody actually gives a damn about us addicts.

How many brain cells do you actually have left? Or rather, how many survived that last yellow haze of yours?
Regarding that bolded part... you aren't exactly speaking for me, are you? I work in a clinic, so what exactly are you implying, that I should be paying for my own treatment, or perhaps go beg Ljubicic to lower the drug prices? Do you honestly think I set the pricing?

Furthermore... why on earth would I personally care about curing an addict? Huh? Out of pure altruism? Honestly, it’s attitudes like yours that make me lose interest..
And don't try to frame drug use as being comparable to cancer. No one chooses to get cancer, but you? You were the one who drove the needle in yourself.

And yes, of course the injection is expensive. Look, if life-saving medications for HIV are priced so high that ordinary citizens can't touch them, I'm not sure what else you expect me to say..

And don't go assuming I'm some wide-eyed innocent who's never touched anything. I've seen plenty, but I was smart enough to know when to walk away.

Maybe I'm currently channeling all my intellect toward accepting and normalizing addiction from a global perspective, so that in the future, if I happen to use again, I won't feel quite so much guilt...

There isn't much left to say here... I'm out of comments.👎

slywolf45 said:How many brain cells do you actually have left? Or rather, how many survived that last yellow haze of yours?
Regarding that bolded part... you aren't exactly speaking for me, are you? I work in a clinic, so what exactly are you implying, that I should be paying for my own treatment, or perhaps go beg Ljubicic to lower the drug prices? Do you honestly think I set the pricing?

Furthermore... why on earth would I personally care about curing an addict? Huh? Out of pure altruism? Honestly, it’s attitudes like yours that make me lose interest..
And don't try to frame drug use as being comparable to cancer. No one chooses to get cancer, but you? You were the one who drove the needle in yourself.

And yes, of course the injection is expensive. Look, if life-saving medications for HIV are priced so high that ordinary citizens can't touch them, I'm not sure what else you expect me to say..

And don't go assuming I'm some wide-eyed innocent who's never touched anything. I've seen plenty, but I was smart enough to know when to walk away.

Maybe I'm currently channeling all my intellect toward accepting and normalizing addiction from a global perspective, so that in the future, if I happen to use again, I won't feel quite so much guilt...

There isn't much left to say here... I'm out of comments.👎

Not the first one. Definitely the second...

When I wrote that, I wasn't talking specifically to you.
I was referring to the pharmaceutical companies that manufacture them.
There are vaccines out there for almost everything, including HIV and various cancers.
But no matter how much they charge for a vaccine, the profit margin won't match what they make once a patient gets sick.
Because, as we both know, a vaccine provides long-term protection.

By the way, have you heard of the Zodiac medication?
It's a drug that makes you quit smoking effortlessly. My mom is a perfect example.
I couldn't believe my eyes when she finally quit.
That medication is overpriced here, but in the US, it's practically free.
Basically, you just have to want it.

If there's really a fight against addiction, why isn't that vaccine provided for free? Even if it's a once-a-year thing?
Then addicts wouldn't have any excuses left.

If you're going to argue about costs, then why shouldn't the government step up? Why should the state suffer because of junkies? The government wouldn't be "suffering"—on the contrary, they'd be rehabilitating people to become productive workers, which means less crime, less theft, and less of everything else. Right?