No title provided

quiethound45 said:Well, there you have it...😬
I guess once you get into something serious and a lady helps settle all those doubts, everything just falls into place. Don't worry too much about it.
Love is something else entirely.
Right now, maybe things feel aimless and boring, and you're just wondering what to do with yourself because everything feels a bit pointless. But when you truly fall in love and find a real relationship, you won't even think about random people from the past. You'll mostly just be thinking about how to settle down and how to enjoy life with her, making things better for both of you, which is honestly the best feeling.
When you live with someone you've really bonded with and just click with, it changes your whole perspective. It shifts your goals and the way you look at everything.🙂

It doesn't have to work out that way for everyone. That's actually why I can't seem to find a boyfriend; I struggle to fall in love and enjoy that dynamic because then I feel like I'm losing myself... I start becoming just like millions of other people. I can't wrap my head around the idea of "settling down" and enjoying life with a partner, because I don't view that as a priority or something beautiful. I have this deep need to either be alone or just casual, rather than being tied to someone—especially when it feels like they feel more for me than I do for them, which is how most cases go. Honestly, forget men who are more clingy than women. I just can't love anyone that way. There are definitely others like me out there, though I'm not sure about >, maybe he's the same. It's possible I just haven't met the right person yet, I suppose... but I don't feel like any relationship would actually change anything, because quite frankly, I'm just not into relationships.

Morgan Long49 said:It doesn't have to work out that way for everyone. That's actually why I can't seem to find a boyfriend; I struggle to fall in love and enjoy that dynamic because then I feel like I'm losing myself... I start becoming just like millions of other people. I can't wrap my head around the idea of "settling down" and enjoying life with a partner, because I don't view that as a priority or something beautiful. I have this deep need to either be alone or just casual, rather than being tied to someone—especially when it feels like they feel more for me than I do for them, which is how most cases go. Honestly, forget men who are more clingy than women. I just can't love anyone that way. There are definitely others like me out there, though I'm not sure about >, maybe he's the same. It's possible I just haven't met the right person yet, I suppose... but I don't feel like any relationship would actually change anything, because quite frankly, I'm just not into relationships.

That's just what you think right now... you're young...
how much longer will you feel that way...
especially once those middle-age years hit...
if you skip out on that whole mating process, you'll probably end up feeling unsatisfied, bitter, and lonely for the rest of your life...
Mating is almost instinctive for us... and honestly, love is almost too overwhelming for us to function normally in daily life...
I'm not some fanatic or someone constantly preaching about needing a relationship. I've just personally realized that it's our nature, and any deviation from that just messes us up...
but you only really get that when you enter a truly high-quality relationship and find your other half—that one person you're totally in sync with... and that's incredibly hard to find...🙂

Check this out: 👍

Noah Sanchez7 said:I hear you..

So, could you actually walk me through it? Like, give me the details on how your life would look and what an ideal world would even entail. Just purely hypothetical here—don't worry about where things stand for you right now or the mess humanity is currently stuck in.

frozenmason said:Check this out: 👍

I don't get it.

I was sitting on a rock crying, or maybe fishing.
Or maybe I'm just the missing piece in a sinking boat....

help!!!

stormylynx23 said:So, could you actually walk me through it? Like, give me the details on how your life would look and what an ideal world would even entail. Just purely hypothetical here—don't worry about where things stand for you right now or the mess humanity is currently stuck in.

Dear stormylynx23, since I know you're obsessed with cows, maybe "this world" doesn't bother you all that much. 👍
My answer to your question could be endless, but I’ll distill it into a single sentence that I believe captures the core essence of why all the "evil" in this world exists.
Let's stop lying to ourselves for a second.
Hasn't it become a cliché to assume our conversational partners are too stupid to "read between the lines," so we just lie to them however we please?
When a neighbor stops you on the street to ask, "How are things going?", tell them how you actually feel. If you sense they're about to start unloading a barrage of worrying questions on you, just don't say anything at all.
We need to ditch the fake smiles that have flooded the world, making it so nobody laughs naturally anymore, only out of habit.
Because when you do that, you're proving you're a phony—and not just any phony, but a calculated one, because most of those fake smiles are just tools used to manipulate someone for personal gain.
We shouldn't be ashamed to show that we aren't in the mood or that we're feeling down; sometimes we just are, and everyone feels that way. The bigger sin is pretending we're perfectly fine.
This isn't about capitalism or socialism; it's about creating a more pleasant atmosphere for living on this planet. Which, directly speaking, leads to longer and happier lives.

I AM AN ADDICT!

quiethound45 said:Well, there you have it...😬
I guess once you get into something serious and a lady helps settle all those doubts, everything just falls into place. Don't worry too much about it.
Love is something else entirely.
Right now, maybe things feel aimless and boring, and you're just wondering what to do with yourself because everything feels a bit pointless. But when you truly fall in love and find a real relationship, you won't even think about random people from the past. You'll mostly just be thinking about how to settle down and how to enjoy life with her, making things better for both of you, which is honestly the best feeling.
When you live with someone you've really bonded with and just click with, it changes your whole perspective. It shifts your goals and the way you look at everything.🙂

Yes, you are 100% right. I have had girlfriends (not boyfriends), and I even lived with one in Harvard for about four months. That feeling when she crawls into bed and hugs me—with me acting as her protector—is stronger than anything else. I also really love kissing.
I'm automatically attracted to women with more curves, whereas with "thin" women, I prefer to just caress and kiss them all over. She was a "thin" type.
The fashion lately is that I choose solitude, sometimes even complete isolation, because that's how you avoid the surge of what people call suffering. My thought is that you can only free yourself from that pain if you stare directly into it long enough.
I've been staring at it long enough, so now I get to decide whether I'll give the middle finger to God or not.

Best,

Morgan Long49 said:It doesn't have to work out that way for everyone. That's actually why I can't seem to find a boyfriend; I struggle to fall in love and enjoy that dynamic because then I feel like I'm losing myself... I start becoming just like millions of other people. I can't wrap my head around the idea of "settling down" and enjoying life with a partner, because I don't view that as a priority or something beautiful. I have this deep need to either be alone or just casual, rather than being tied to someone—especially when it feels like they feel more for me than I do for them, which is how most cases go. Honestly, forget men who are more clingy than women. I just can't love anyone that way. There are definitely others like me out there, though I'm not sure about >, maybe he's the same. It's possible I just haven't met the right person yet, I suppose... but I don't feel like any relationship would actually change anything, because quite frankly, I'm just not into relationships.

Me despise being tied down, and I hate obligations too. Most of my relationships ended in this fashion: "You didn't call me for two days," "You don't love me," "I'm always the one calling you," and stuff like that. Just get lost, girl!
Though, I know how to be very kind and careful. When the mood strikes... 👍

Noah Sanchez7 said:Dear stormylynx23, since I know you're obsessed with cows, maybe "this world" doesn't bother you all that much. 👍
My answer to your question could be endless, but I’ll distill it into a single sentence that I believe captures the core essence of why all the "evil" in this world exists.
Let's stop lying to ourselves for a second.
Hasn't it become a cliché to assume our conversational partners are too stupid to "read between the lines," so we just lie to them however we please?
When a neighbor stops you on the street to ask, "How are things going?", tell them how you actually feel. If you sense they're about to start unloading a barrage of worrying questions on you, just don't say anything at all.
We need to ditch the fake smiles that have flooded the world, making it so nobody laughs naturally anymore, only out of habit.
Because when you do that, you're proving you're a phony—and not just any phony, but a calculated one, because most of those fake smiles are just tools used to manipulate someone for personal gain.
We shouldn't be ashamed to show that we aren't in the mood or that we're feeling down; sometimes we just are, and everyone feels that way. The bigger sin is pretending we're perfectly fine.
This isn't about capitalism or socialism; it's about creating a more pleasant atmosphere for living on this planet. Which, directly speaking, leads to longer and happier lives.

I AM AN ADDICT!

And plenty of people lie about being okay for a pretty basic reason: they want to avoid more questions (usually automatic ones like, "Nooo, why? What's wrong?") because they just don't have the energy to argue, chat, or explain why things suck. They know the conversation won't lead anywhere smart anyway.

That’s just how I am. I tend to go against the grain. I don't want to follow the crowd or end up where everyone else is heading.

If you're always just doing the opposite of what people expect, are you actually getting closer to your goals? Or are you just picking a path because it's different, while ignoring what you actually want?

When you find yourself facing a big decision, try focusing on what you truly want instead of just deciding based on being contrary to the majority.
It feels like such an unnecessary battle with the world. At the end of the day, you live here too, and you have to adapt to some extent. We're all, to a large degree, products of our culture and the environment we grow up in.

I totally get where you're coming from... honestly, it feels like you're heading in the right direction, though there’s probably still some work to do on your mindset and self-awareness.. but it'll happen 🙂
you're young.. you're wild.. you're a guy.. 😬
your time will come.. 😉
trust me 🙂

just walk away from whatever you're into.. if you're actually hooked, it'll dull your senses until you're basically just an empty shell... by then you'll be forced to quit, and things get much harder once the consequences catch up to you..
but you haven't really specified what stage you're at or what you're dealing with specifically? without knowing that, I guess I can't really give you any solid advice..

quiethound45 said:I totally get where you're coming from... honestly, it feels like you're heading in the right direction, though there’s probably still some work to do on your mindset and self-awareness.. but it'll happen 🙂
you're young.. you're wild.. you're a guy.. 😬
your time will come.. 😉
trust me 🙂

just walk away from whatever you're into.. if you're actually hooked, it'll dull your senses until you're basically just an empty shell... by then you'll be forced to quit, and things get much harder once the consequences catch up to you..
but you haven't really specified what stage you're at or what you're dealing with specifically? without knowing that, I guess I can't really give you any solid advice..

It wasn't actually that bad. 2006 was a total nightmare for me. I was struggling hard with heroin back then.
I can tell you that it's a really tough addiction, but it’s not quite as catastrophic as people make it out to be. The only real issue is that once you're in it, you have to accept that there's no going back, because everything else just falls apart. "Just one more time and I'm done" is the most common lie an addict tells themselves.
It’s like saying goodbye to someone you truly loved—the kind of person whose presence alone made you feel grounded, relaxed, and completely at peace with yourself.
If someone forbids you from ever seeing her again, that’s it. Once an addict finally comes to terms with reality, they're cured.
That’s not really the issue. That's just a symptom. What's the actual cause?
When I turned 18, I felt like a giant—just some guy ready to take on any challenge that came my way.
Lord, help me out here. My brain was firing on all cylinders today, so my communication was spot on—which naturally boosted my confidence and helped me get exactly what I wanted.
If I hadn't taken the path I did back then, I’d probably already be holding my own and fully prepared for this world in my absolute prime.
To Medjun, my sympathy is too much. I wanted to sink, and I started to descend, realizing the suffering of people, the suffering of this world, and the filth we are all caught up in.
I’ve never really taken being on this planet too seriously. I mean, do you guys actually see how much we all differ? And does anyone truly grasp the sheer scale of the cosmos? Honestly, who knows what planet you originated from, or where you're headed once you pass on.
People are terrified. They act like animals, circling their food like predators guarding a kill from any other scavenger. It’s the same here—we exhaust ourselves fighting over our own little slice of territory. We've fenced off a piece of the globe and called it "our backyard," insisting that we're the only ones who rule this spot and that it belongs solely to us.
I started feeling a bit overwhelmed by my own thoughts, so I turned to my medication to help clear things up.
We’re incredibly greedy; if we make a thousand bucks, we just want another thousand, and it goes on forever. I can't help but wonder, what would Hitler have done if he actually conquered the entire world? He probably would have killed himself, since there wouldn't be anything left to take.
That's just pure ego. It’s how we raise our kids, and honestly, it’s how I was raised too. "Son, be the best." Fight!
Get lost, all of you. I know what I know—I know that I know more than you, yet I also know that I know absolutely nothing, so don't try to lecture me.
We can be selfish. But really, does someone even need a reason to help another person?
We lack awareness. That’s exactly why we keep messing everything up.
I’m thinking about painting a picture where Jesus is on the left, Allah is on the right, and they're sitting in the middle together, just laughing at all our nonsense. I'd probably be terrible at it, though. Honestly, it feels like they've stopped caring about helping us altogether.
Well, it’s all just the "Other Side," as the Red Hot Chili Peppers would sing.
But what about this side? This side is honestly pretty messy and grim, if we're being real.
Just pure greed and selfishness.
There are exceptions, of course—there are genuinely good people out there, including here on this forum.
But what can one person actually change? We're all just stuck in the cycle... drinking until dawn only to do it all over again tomorrow.
Or, you could just freak out, live without fear, and remember this is all just a dream...

coastalsurfer12 said:That’s just how I am. I tend to go against the grain. I don't want to follow the crowd or end up where everyone else is heading.

If you're always just doing the opposite of what people expect, are you actually getting closer to your goals? Or are you just picking a path because it's different, while ignoring what you actually want?

When you find yourself facing a big decision, try focusing on what you truly want instead of just deciding based on being contrary to the majority.
It feels like such an unnecessary battle with the world. At the end of the day, you live here too, and you have to adapt to some extent. We're all, to a large degree, products of our culture and the environment we grow up in.

You're pretty much right. I often react by going against the grain.

quiethound45 said:That's just what you think right now... you're young...
how much longer will you feel that way...
especially once those middle-age years hit...
if you skip out on that whole mating process, you'll probably end up feeling unsatisfied, bitter, and lonely for the rest of your life...
Mating is almost instinctive for us... and honestly, love is almost too overwhelming for us to function normally in daily life...
I'm not some fanatic or someone constantly preaching about needing a relationship. I've just personally realized that it's our nature, and any deviation from that just messes us up...
but you only really get that when you enter a truly high-quality relationship and find your other half—that one person you're totally in sync with... and that's incredibly hard to find...🙂

I have no idea what "crisis years" would even mean for me. For as long as I can remember, I've felt like I'm in a crisis. I still don't even know who I am. I live here in the States, an outsider in a land that doesn't quite fit me... To some people, I'm a radical; to others, I'm a traitor. When I travel, I feel pulled in every direction by different factions, but honestly, I couldn't care less about politics or national identities. I get treated the same way in every area of life... Some people look down on me because they see me as a mess, and I've stopped hanging out with my old crowd because they turned out to be fake and only cared about their own vices. Most people I meet seem incredibly dim, and the ones who think they're brilliant just end up being insufferable. As for finding a guy who actually matches my wavelength? I can't find anyone in my age group or even a few generations older, because everyone else seems mentally inferior or just lacks life experience. But that doesn't leave me feeling unfulfilled or broken like you suggest; if anything, I prefer it this way. While it might be true for most people that it's hardwired into them like you described, there are always exceptions to the rule—there are those of us who simply don't have that instinctual urge to pair up, and the idea of commitment of any kind just feels wrong.

Noah Sanchez7 said:It wasn't actually that bad. 2006 was a total nightmare for me. I was struggling hard with heroin back then.
I can tell you that it's a really tough addiction, but it’s not quite as catastrophic as people make it out to be. The only real issue is that once you're in it, you have to accept that there's no going back, because everything else just falls apart. "Just one more time and I'm done" is the most common lie an addict tells themselves.
It’s like saying goodbye to someone you truly loved—the kind of person whose presence alone made you feel grounded, relaxed, and completely at peace with yourself.
If someone forbids you from ever seeing her again, that’s it. Once an addict finally comes to terms with reality, they're cured.
That’s not really the issue. That's just a symptom. What's the actual cause?
When I turned 18, I felt like a giant—just some guy ready to take on any challenge that came my way.
Lord, help me out here. My brain was firing on all cylinders today, so my communication was spot on—which naturally boosted my confidence and helped me get exactly what I wanted.
If I hadn't taken the path I did back then, I’d probably already be holding my own and fully prepared for this world in my absolute prime.
To Medjun, my sympathy is too much. I wanted to sink, and I started to descend, realizing the suffering of people, the suffering of this world, and the filth we are all caught up in.
I’ve never really taken being on this planet too seriously. I mean, do you guys actually see how much we all differ? And does anyone truly grasp the sheer scale of the cosmos? Honestly, who knows what planet you originated from, or where you're headed once you pass on.
People are terrified. They act like animals, circling their food like predators guarding a kill from any other scavenger. It’s the same here—we exhaust ourselves fighting over our own little slice of territory. We've fenced off a piece of the globe and called it "our backyard," insisting that we're the only ones who rule this spot and that it belongs solely to us.
I started feeling a bit overwhelmed by my own thoughts, so I turned to my medication to help clear things up.
We’re incredibly greedy; if we make a thousand bucks, we just want another thousand, and it goes on forever. I can't help but wonder, what would Hitler have done if he actually conquered the entire world? He probably would have killed himself, since there wouldn't be anything left to take.
That's just pure ego. It’s how we raise our kids, and honestly, it’s how I was raised too. "Son, be the best." Fight!
Get lost, all of you. I know what I know—I know that I know more than you, yet I also know that I know absolutely nothing, so don't try to lecture me.
We can be selfish. But really, does someone even need a reason to help another person?
We lack awareness. That’s exactly why we keep messing everything up.
I’m thinking about painting a picture where Jesus is on the left, Allah is on the right, and they're sitting in the middle together, just laughing at all our nonsense. I'd probably be terrible at it, though. Honestly, it feels like they've stopped caring about helping us altogether.
Well, it’s all just the "Other Side," as the Red Hot Chili Peppers would sing.
But what about this side? This side is honestly pretty messy and grim, if we're being real.
Just pure greed and selfishness.
There are exceptions, of course—there are genuinely good people out there, including here on this forum.
But what can one person actually change? We're all just stuck in the cycle... drinking until dawn only to do it all over again tomorrow.
Or, you could just freak out, live without fear, and remember this is all just a dream...

I totally get it.
For me, I think it happened because I simply couldn't—or maybe didn't want to—handle the pressure of constantly having to strive toward being better, the absolute best... at everything.
Everyone always expected that from me because I was always the smart, capable, independent one with a bright future ahead of me... but none of that mattered to me. I just wanted to live my own little life, have some fun, and never become weighed down like They did.

Morgan Long49 said:I have no idea what "crisis years" would even mean for me. For as long as I can remember, I've felt like I'm in a crisis. I still don't even know who I am. I live here in the States, an outsider in a land that doesn't quite fit me... To some people, I'm a radical; to others, I'm a traitor. When I travel, I feel pulled in every direction by different factions, but honestly, I couldn't care less about politics or national identities. I get treated the same way in every area of life... Some people look down on me because they see me as a mess, and I've stopped hanging out with my old crowd because they turned out to be fake and only cared about their own vices. Most people I meet seem incredibly dim, and the ones who think they're brilliant just end up being insufferable. As for finding a guy who actually matches my wavelength? I can't find anyone in my age group or even a few generations older, because everyone else seems mentally inferior or just lacks life experience. But that doesn't leave me feeling unfulfilled or broken like you suggest; if anything, I prefer it this way. While it might be true for most people that it's hardwired into them like you described, there are always exceptions to the rule—there are those of us who simply don't have that instinctual urge to pair up, and the idea of commitment of any kind just feels wrong.

That's just narrow-mindedness...
it's probably best not to dwell on it..
To me, you're just a person... just like any Black person, Jewish person, or anyone else out there. We all bleed the same when we get hurt...
I think it's better to rise above these divisions and the kind of petty thinking used by people who aren't looking at the bigger picture. There are way more important things happening in the world...🙂

I can't seem to find a guy who matches my level, whether in my own age group or even a few generations older, because most guys seem to have less maturity or life experience than I do... but that doesn't leave me feeling miserable or broken like you suggest. Actually, it's quite the opposite—I'm fine with it. It might be true that most people act the way you described, but as they say, exceptions prove the rule. There are definitely people out there who just don't have that innate urge to settle down, and the idea of commitment actually repels them.

You'll find someone eventually..
you're still young...
Maybe you're just turning people down because you haven't met someone truly compelling yet..
Everything will work itself out in time..🙂

quiethound45 said:That's just narrow-mindedness...
it's probably best not to dwell on it..
To me, you're just a person... just like any Black person, Jewish person, or anyone else out there. We all bleed the same when we get hurt...
I think it's better to rise above these divisions and the kind of petty thinking used by people who aren't looking at the bigger picture. There are way more important things happening in the world...🙂

I can't seem to find a guy who matches my level, whether in my own age group or even a few generations older, because most guys seem to have less maturity or life experience than I do... but that doesn't leave me feeling miserable or broken like you suggest. Actually, it's quite the opposite—I'm fine with it. It might be true that most people act the way you described, but as they say, exceptions prove the rule. There are definitely people out there who just don't have that innate urge to settle down, and the idea of commitment actually repels them.

You'll find someone eventually..
you're still young...
Maybe you're just turning people down because you haven't met someone truly compelling yet..
Everything will work itself out in time..🙂

and that’s just how it works—a person is a person. All that matters is whether they are good or evil, and that has nothing to do with their religion, nationality, politics, sexual orientation, or anything else.

quiethound45 said:That's just narrow-mindedness...
it's probably best not to dwell on it..
To me, you're just a person... just like any Black person, Jewish person, or anyone else out there. We all bleed the same when we get hurt...
I think it's better to rise above these divisions and the kind of petty thinking used by people who aren't looking at the bigger picture. There are way more important things happening in the world...🙂

I can't seem to find a guy who matches my level, whether in my own age group or even a few generations older, because most guys seem to have less maturity or life experience than I do... but that doesn't leave me feeling miserable or broken like you suggest. Actually, it's quite the opposite—I'm fine with it. It might be true that most people act the way you described, but as they say, exceptions prove the rule. There are definitely people out there who just don't have that innate urge to settle down, and the idea of commitment actually repels them.

You'll find someone eventually..
you're still young...
Maybe you're just turning people down because you haven't met someone truly compelling yet..
Everything will work itself out in time..🙂

I know... it's just that I lost someone incredibly dear to me far too early to expect myself to bounce back quickly or easily from disappointment. And honestly, I don't know if anyone else could ever be like him again...

Morgan Long49, I hear you.
Someone once told me that while I might have reasons to be hateful, depressed, or anxious, choosing to stay that way is ultimately my own call, regardless of what anyone else does. And they were right..
There are just so many foolish people out there. Just look at the sheer STUPIDITY that has plagued this country over the last 15 years. All the bigotry, the tribalism, the extremist nonsense—it's all just noise.
One really needs to rise above it all, or above those people.

I don't even know what else to say. Every word and thought feels redundant now.

Best to everyone..

Yeah, it’s true... to put it simply, in a nutshell... when you weigh everything up, we chose who we wanted to be. We made the decision to take a different path than theirs. We can't change them, and they certainly can't change us.
The reality is that anyone can only change themselves, and even then, only if they genuinely want to. We can spend our time complaining about our fate or arguing over who made the smarter move in choosing their direction... but at the end of the day, do we really have any right to complain when we're the ones who made those choices?
Personally, I don't think we even do. We live our lives the best way we know how, and they should go ahead and live theirs the same way—it's better to just rise above it, as you said, and avoid having much contact with people like that in the first place.

Honestly, I feel pretty much exactly how you described, except for the whole drug thing... I'm staying sober, at least.
But man, I just can't bring myself to accept the world for what it is, and I have zero interest in being some fake, bubbly, manicured, "perfect" little doll...
And then people label me as difficult or unpleasant—they usually say it right after they've had a few too many drinks—and then I spend all night thinking about it, just feeling completely misunderstood...
But then again... I know I shouldn't let everything turn me bitter,
I've sort of come to terms with the fact that the world is a mess and most people are garbage—well, maybe not even people, more like just products of these ridiculous unwritten social rules and cultural bullshit... I just want to be myself, but I know that’s not going to get me very far in this life.
And there's something pathetic about that...

I can't change the world, I can't change the world, I just can't change the world.