Wedding cakes and desserts

granitewolf20 said:I’m honestly skipping the dessert table entirely. I’ll wait until the right moment rolls around. 😁
(Meaning when the actual cake is served.)

Though, I guess I'll coordinate with catering to make sure they have some sweets on hand if guests start asking for them early.

I haven't done this at any wedding I've been to, and there's always a mountain of leftovers.
To me, it's just a total waste of money.
(And even if I did get a little goody bag to take home, half of it would probably end up in the trash anyway. 🤷)

I actually got into it with my mom about this a few times, but once she heard how much people actually throw away after everything gets split up, 😲 she finally had to see things my way.

Oh, please don't be offended, because this is strictly just my two cents: a wedding without a dessert spread is just... well, it's missing something.😬

I attended two weddings down South where they skipped the sweets entirely, and honestly, those were the only things I remembered—which really made me decide I wasn't interested in attending more Southern weddings (thankfully, since all my cousins are already married now, I don't have to worry about it too much)

At one of them, there was a cake sitting on every single table when we walked into the venue, but once the appetizers were served, the cakes mysteriously vanished and never reappeared... plus, there were no individual pastries at all... so basically, we just ate the wedding cake and that was it.

The other one? No sweets whatsoever.
After the gift exchange, my sister and I headed home with our families around 2:00 AM, while my parents stayed behind—and Mom told me they didn't even bring the desserts out until 3:00 in the morning! They brought out maybe eight little pieces on tiny plates, and everyone just sat there staring at each other, wondering who was going to be the first to grab one... and in the end, nobody did.😬

Now, I was at a wedding recently where they cleared the dessert station before the main course, and I noticed they weren't bringing it back out, so I actually had to go hunting for it... luckily, the server was a nice guy and brought some over, but otherwise, they wouldn't have...🤷

Sorry, maybe we Midwesterners are just overthinking it, or maybe it's just me being a total sucker for sugar—but for me, a wedding without dessert just doesn't feel complete. Period.

Well, hey, if you want to plan your wedding exactly how you want it—go for it!
But, you know, you've probably thought about what kind of food suits your guests (I hope so!), and what kind of music they'll enjoy (hope so, too!)... so maybe just give a little thought to what they might expect regarding the sweets, too...

😉

I gave it some thought... but honestly, forget it. 🙂

There’s going to be cake, and there will definitely be sweets after the cake.
We'll have some treats at the house too (no clue what the caterers are bringing), plus we’re doing an appetizer hour right at the entrance of the hall, so there'll be dessert there as well.

That's plenty for me. 🤷
Once the main course hits the table, there won't be any room left for sweets—and I don't think my plan to serve all the appetizers at once without a break is actually going to work. 😠
Besides, people really ought to be out on the dance floor in between courses anyway. 🤔

And what about the people who don't dance? Just sit there drinking all night?

I’m a sucker for dessert, but I usually skip the wedding spread—most of it is just bland filler. Last time, though, the treats from Magnolia Bakery were incredible; people were hovering over them, and by midnight, they were long gone. Honestly, I’ve never seen a crowd look so genuinely shocked by a dessert table. 😲

I have no clue 😛

Look, I’m really not angry or anything. We all have our own opinions and ways of looking at things.
But honestly? It kind of sucks when people act like I’m planning this wedding just to satisfy my own ego.
Because if I were actually doing this purely for myself—or strictly following what a planner would do—it would look veeeery different.

To be real with you, it feels like a lot of things have slipped out of my hands lately, and I'm just trying my best not to let it get to me too much.

It’s not really my business if things work differently where you live—I’ve never been to a wedding in California, so I wouldn't know... all I know is that back home, we always made sure guests could get coffee whenever they actually wanted it. A lot of restaurants have these strict windows for when they serve coffee and refuse to bring anything out before then. I’ve had plenty of times where I just wanted a cappuccino earlier in the day, but they flat-out refused. I eventually had to tell them I'd pay extra just to get it. It feels ridiculous to me when someone dictates exactly when I can or can't have a drink—I drink it because I’m tired and need the caffeine, period. 🤣 It’s the same thing with dessert. If I want something sweet, I'll eat it, but I’m not going to follow some arbitrary schedule just so people can feel like they're doing me a favor by letting me eat. 👎

Laura Clark5 said:I’ve been mulling over this idea lately—instead of just scattering cookies all over the tables, what if we arranged them alongside some fresh fruit? You know, more like a high-end buffet spread

The thing is, everyone I talk to is trying to convince me that it’s a terrible idea altogether 😕
Is that actually true? I’d love to hear your honest thoughts on this 😉

Well, I’m sticking to my guns—this is how it’s going to be. 👍 To me, it’s much better than having greasy plates at every single table where people are passing them around and making a mess... you know how it goes. Plus, I have the perfect amount of space for this, and it looks great. 🙂
Currently, I'm just debating with my mother over whether they should be sliced, bite-sized, or larger pieces—but we'll figure that part out eventually. 😁

Nathan Cox25 said:It’s not really my business if things work differently where you live—I’ve never been to a wedding in California, so I wouldn't know... all I know is that back home, we always made sure guests could get coffee whenever they actually wanted it. A lot of restaurants have these strict windows for when they serve coffee and refuse to bring anything out before then. I’ve had plenty of times where I just wanted a cappuccino earlier in the day, but they flat-out refused. I eventually had to tell them I'd pay extra just to get it. It feels ridiculous to me when someone dictates exactly when I can or can't have a drink—I drink it because I’m tired and need the caffeine, period. 🤣 It’s the same thing with dessert. If I want something sweet, I'll eat it, but I’m not going to follow some arbitrary schedule just so people can feel like they're doing me a favor by letting me eat. 👎

That’s just stupid. 😲

I wanted those little pastries (you know, the ones on that buffet table after the cake is cut), but the venue staff talked me into letting the servers just offer them to guests directly.
So, we made an agreement with them that if anyone wanted seconds late at night, they’d bring them out then.
It’s the same deal with the coffee and everything else.
If someone wants more of something—or if she wants it earlier—it's fine. 😉

Honestly, this whole coffee situation is just a massive headache. We’ve hit up way too many restaurants now—I don't see the point in them handing out coffee when by the time it arrives most people have already moved on.

And what's the deal with these huge tables if you're telling me there won't be any room left for dessert?

Just figured I'd chime in here too... It’s not that people don't eat dessert at weddings, it's just that the dessert itself is usually the problem. At my sister's wedding, we ordered sweets from Anne's place in a small town in the Midwest. We actually ordered way more than we needed because we wanted to hand them out to guests as they left, but there was nothing left to give—everyone polished them off. They were seriously incredible and I’d order them myself in a heartbeat, but since I’m getting married in Memphis, I can't exactly get those specific ones...😢

Laura Clark5 said:I’ve been mulling over this idea lately—instead of just scattering cookies all over the tables, what if we arranged them alongside some fresh fruit? You know, more like a high-end buffet spread

The thing is, everyone I talk to is trying to convince me that it’s a terrible idea altogether 😕
Is that actually true? I’d love to hear your honest thoughts on this 😉

Around here, that's usually how things are done... 🤷To me, it seems perfectly fine... 👍

I don't see the big deal. I honestly don't get why people would feel awkward grabbing cookies if they're served individually—if it were a buffet, nobody would be stuffing their face all night because you actually have to get up and grab it yourself. 🤣
It’s actually not a bad call. We've got plenty of room in our hall, so we might just set it up that way—somewhere near the kitchen, right next to the table where we'll have the feedback cards out. 😁

Quinn:

granitewolf20 As if I hadn't already suspected that things were heading in this direction... I’m really not looking to dive into any sweets right now; I think I'll just wait until the time actually feels right for that... 😁 So, I guess that means we’re actually waiting on the cake now... I’m assuming I’ll be able to touch base with Sal and work out a deal where they offer guests some cookies if anyone happens to start craving them early... I’ve never actually eaten that at any kind of party, and there was always a massive amount of leftovers left behind... If you ask me, it’s nothing more than a complete and total waste of money... And even if she actually managed to get her hands on that little takeout container, half of it would probably end up spilled all over the floor anyway... 🤷) I’ve had my fair share of heated arguments with my mom over this particular issue, but honestly, everything changed once she finally heard what actually happened to some people... especially seeing how much they were left with after everything was split right down the middle... 😲) She finally had to give in and deal with me...

Like Granitewolf20, I’m from the coast too, and honestly, we don't have those fancy dessert spreads around here either—mostly because I think they’re a completely useless addition to any table. A friend of mine recently had a buddy get married to a girl from New York City, and since they decided to host the wedding down in California, they went all out and put those little sweets on every single table... and let me tell you, about 90% of them just sat there untouched until the end...
With this much food, fruit, and drink spread out everywhere, there’s honestly just no room left in my life for dessert... especially when I'm staring down an endless line of platters featuring lamb right next to mountains of sweets...🙏

So, just to be crystal clear—even though my wedding is going to be in New York City, and even if we’re keeping things on the smaller side—there is absolutely no way I'm putting a tray of cookies on that table... We'll have a cake, sure, but I've decided everyone can just order whatever they actually want, whether it's pastries, crepes, or ice cream, so there will definitely be plenty of sweets to go around regardless...😉

Pancakes and ice cream at a wedding!!! 🙂

I really wanted an ice cream cake, but honestly, it just wouldn't work with the glaze I picked out. 😢
Still, once you let the M&M's parfait and mousse chill, it basically tastes just like ice cream anyway. 👍

Maybe you'll actually see some fruit—usually, you don't see any at weddings in New York City. I say usually, though some people are starting to offer it now, but honestly, it's still pretty rare.

We started off with some fruit.

Then, when it was finally time for dessert, all the cakes hit the table. Personally, I’m a huge fan of cake, and I honestly think it's a crime if there isn't any at a wedding 😉.

Most people went straight for coffee right then, though they kept it available all night—which is also a total must in my book.

The fruit came out shortly after that.

The cakes just stayed out on the tables until everything wrapped up.

swiftranger16 said:We started off with some fruit.

Then, when it was finally time for dessert, all the cakes hit the table. Personally, I’m a huge fan of cake, and I honestly think it's a crime if there isn't any at a wedding 😉.

Most people went straight for coffee right then, though they kept it available all night—which is also a total must in my book.

The fruit came out shortly after that.

The cakes just stayed out on the tables until everything wrapped up.

That was our experience too... look, I'm from California, and I have never stepped foot in a wedding that didn't have dessert, nor have I ever heard of anyone pulling a stunt like that. 😕🤷

In our neck of the woods, the tradition is that whenever the main cake comes out, you also bring out a whole tray of assorted pastries, plus extra cake and fruit on the buffet... that's how we did it, and everything was absolutely devoured because they were delicious. I even got special compliments from the folks from the Midwest, and let me tell you, those people definitely know their way around a good dessert.😁
Plus, people were actually grabbing little boxes of treats to take home with them.
I went through a massive headache trying to track down a local bakery that actually made high-quality, tasty pastries, but in the end, it was totally worth the effort.

As for that whole thing about the coffee, it’s just incomprehensible to me... I always make sure to work out a deal with the restaurant so that whatever our guests want to order, they get it—assuming it's on the menu, obviously, but it's really just a matter of negotiating the details ahead of time.

Zachary Price2 said:That was our experience too... look, I'm from California, and I have never stepped foot in a wedding that didn't have dessert, nor have I ever heard of anyone pulling a stunt like that. 😕🤷

In our neck of the woods, the tradition is that whenever the main cake comes out, you also bring out a whole tray of assorted pastries, plus extra cake and fruit on the buffet... that's how we did it, and everything was absolutely devoured because they were delicious. I even got special compliments from the folks from the Midwest, and let me tell you, those people definitely know their way around a good dessert.😁
Plus, people were actually grabbing little boxes of treats to take home with them.
I went through a massive headache trying to track down a local bakery that actually made high-quality, tasty pastries, but in the end, it was totally worth the effort.

As for that whole thing about the coffee, it’s just incomprehensible to me... I always make sure to work out a deal with the restaurant so that whatever our guests want to order, they get it—assuming it's on the menu, obviously, but it's really just a matter of negotiating the details ahead of time.

There is a massive difference between having pastries served alongside the cake, and what these girls are describing where the sweets are just sitting out on the table constantly...

I mean, personally, a cake alone would be plenty enough for me, since by the time you're done jumping around, dancing, and eating a full meal, you can barely find the room for a single slice of cake...

Look, I’m not saying I don't want to serve dessert. It’s just that I have zero interest in ordering extra pastries that are just going to sit there on the table wasting space.
Once the cake is gone, we still have a few different kinds of cookies and strudels on the menu 😛

Nathan Cox25, sure, the tables are big enough, but we’re packed with customers. 😠

I’m always down for dessert—doesn't really matter if it's a fancy cake or just something simple 😁
as long as it actually tastes good... if they're bad, I'll pass.

Man, how many people are we talking about at one table? Let's not crowd everyone too much—it can really kill the vibe.

Good luck explaining that to my mother-in-law.
She heard somewhere that you can squeeze 12 people around a round table and honestly? That's her final word on the matter...

In reality, eight is the sweet spot, but we’re looking at ten (if we’re lucky).

But whatever, I guess she just needs something to vent about...