Offside Chat Archives (2014-2021)

What’s a man without a beard? Just a little girl.

When you lack actual guts, masculinity just becomes about whatever tools you happen to have on hand, I guess, in a purely technical sense. ☕

Your beard's gonna grow eventually, man. It’s totally normal that you don't have one at 13, especially right when you're finally getting out of middle school. ☕

Well, I definitely didn't see that one coming...

That moment when aesthetic vibes basically take over as the ultimate symbol of masculinity, I guess.🤦

The way things are headed, maybe I’ll just be happy if urinals even still exist by the time I'm grown up.☕

But seriously, I’ve been rocking this beard since my school days. It’d be weird if I actually shaved it—I wouldn't even recognize myself in the mirror 🤣 As for this whole trend? Honestly, I don't give a damn. I'm gonna keep it just like I had it ten years ago, even after everyone stops obsessing over it 😁

Jacob Morgan said:Well, I definitely didn't see that one coming...

That moment when aesthetic vibes basically take over as the ultimate symbol of masculinity, I guess.🤦

The way things are headed, maybe I’ll just be happy if urinals even still exist by the time I'm grown up.☕

So, what exactly is supposed to be the dominant symbol of masculinity?
I'm just dying to know so I can prepare myself for when I finally grow up

What does a kid like me know, really? But I guess, honestly, a guy who spends all his time on

grooming—you know, fixing up hairstyles, beards, eyebrows, shaving—it just doesn't strike me as particularly masculine. It kind of makes me nauseous when I

remember that I'm even talking about men while bringing up hair removal in the first place. 🤦

...which just reminded me of this:

Amanda Evans2 said:So, what exactly is supposed to be the dominant symbol of masculinity?
I'm just dying to know so I can prepare myself for when I finally grow up

Look, if you're rooting for Stoke City, you're already on the right track.

ruggedjackal46 said:Look, if you're rooting for Stoke City, you're already on the right track.

You think I actually have a shot? Both with women and men...

Amanda Evans2 said:You think I actually have a shot? Both with women and men...

Just like watching Tony’s squad struggle through a rainy afternoon against Arsenal FC.

Jacob Morgan said:What does a kid like me know, really? But I guess, honestly, a guy who spends all his time on

grooming—you know, fixing up hairstyles, beards, eyebrows, shaving—it just doesn't strike me as particularly masculine. It kind of makes me nauseous when I

remember that I'm even talking about men while bringing up hair removal in the first place. 🤦

Look, man, if a guy actually has a beard like the one in that photo above, he isn't exactly worrying about 🙂
body hair removal.

ruggedjackal46 said:Just like watching Tony’s squad struggle through a rainy afternoon against Arsenal FC.

You don't say, my dear angel...

Amanda Evans2 said:So, what exactly is supposed to be the dominant symbol of masculinity?
I'm just dying to know so I can prepare myself for when I finally grow up

That ship has sailed, friend. 😬

ambertinker41 said:That ship has sailed, friend. 😬

I’m still holding out hope for some kind of growth hormone, I guess...

Amanda Evans2 said:So, what exactly is supposed to be the dominant symbol of masculinity?
I'm just dying to know so I can prepare myself for when I finally grow up

A big car. That's why bus drivers should just pick everyone up...

😂 damn, you really think we’re just gonna let you get away with all this? 😂

I wonder if the feds are going to come knocking on the Treasury Secretary's door🍿

Or maybe he just played dumb and didn't know anything at all🤣

And if they actually come knocking, what then?

Listen, folks, don't you ever let this American justice system lay a single finger on you. 😁 You're better off taking matters into your own hands, especially if you've got some top-tier German or Belgian gear on your side. 😉