Open relationships

Rachel Richardson said:The guy isn't to blame; he's playing with his cards face up on the table. She's the real issue.

Exactly. If he hadn't been so transparent, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. He laid it all out—take it or leave it. She chose to take it, yet now she's making a scene. 🙂

Raymond Booth40 said:So what’s my issue here? He’s just as much to blame. If I were a man and he knew that, I wouldn't be hanging out with someone who wants to be with me when I don't feel the same way about him. He'd find someone else instead.

He isn't at fault—he was completely upfront with you.
The issue lies with you—specifically, why you keep swallowing his nonsense.

shadowbadger49 said:If I were here to defend him, I’d say the same thing, but I find it hilarious how you all pin the blame on him while treating her like some kind of angel. How much longer can you possibly keep defending her after the nonsense she's pulled? 😉

Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

Rachel Richardson said:The guy isn't to blame; he's playing with his cards face up on the table. She's the real issue.

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Exactly. But it's high time she grows up.

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Oh, absolutely. Apparently, "kicking her while she's down" isn't enough, but tearing him to shreds is perfectly fine. And let's not forget: the guy isn't even here. According to her narrative, we're all just arguing with ghosts.😉

analogfox63 said:Exactly. But it's high time she grows up.

For real, most of us have been trying to tell her it’s time to get a grip, but clearly, we aren't making much headway through a keyboard, are we?😁

She’s just obsessively stuck on this whole "what happens when he hits 40" thing. It’s like she’s decided to just white-knuckle it until then and was sitting there waiting for one of us to finally spell it out for her.🤦

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

Using sex as a method of conditioning sounds like an even darker kind of psychological warfare.

She's still young—which means things will eventually improve, provided she stays far away from him...

shadowbadger49 said:It’s a blessing he isn't on this forum; if he actually heard what was on her mind, he’d sue her, take the kid, and absolutely ruin her life.
In my view, this behavior could even cross the line into criminal territory.

Deception...

Look, you’ve spent four years—your prime, beautiful years—chasing this. It's time to step up, take control, and decide what matters for *your* future, not his. At the end of the day, nobody can make that call for you but yourself.

Sean Kern2 said:Can someone please point out where I actually called her an angel? You don't need to be some NASA rocket scientist to see the girl is just incredibly naive. Besides, I’m not about to go out of my way to kick someone while they're down, regardless of gender—I've got at least a little bit of class left.😉

The real issue is that she's been tied to this guy since she was twenty-one, and he's spent four years conditioning her through sex. You want to talk about that?🙂

The problem is definitely that self-proclaimed predator; everything we're reading from her perspective is just the aftermath of being with him.

If you want something serious, you don't enter those kinds of dynamics. 🤷

It reminds me of some guy I met back in the day at... I think it was a party at Fero, maybe when I was 20. He was from San Diego and pretty good-looking. We grab coffee, and he spends half an hour venting about his ex and how he's basically just looking for a hookup. I told him straight up: I'm looking for someone to actually fall in love with. We cleared the air immediately, realized we were on totally different pages, and that was it. We never saw each other again.🤷

jadetinker85 said:If you want something serious, you don't enter those kinds of dynamics. 🤷

It reminds me of some guy I met back in the day at... I think it was a party at Fero, maybe when I was 20. He was from San Diego and pretty good-looking. We grab coffee, and he spends half an hour venting about his ex and how he's basically just looking for a hookup. I told him straight up: I'm looking for someone to actually fall in love with. We cleared the air immediately, realized we were on totally different pages, and that was it. We never saw each other again.🤷

Fair enough! If only everyone were that upfront with others—and more importantly, with themselves.

jadetinker85 said:I have been, obviously. It is much harder to find someone to actually fall for than it is to find someone for a casual hookup. 🤔

One does not simply "find" someone to fall in love with. It either happens or it doesn't. But when it comes to a casual fling? One can always ask, "Why not?" ☕

shadowbadger49 said:One does not simply "find" someone to fall in love with. It either happens or it doesn't. But when it comes to a casual fling? One can always ask, "Why not?" ☕

You can certainly say "why not" if you've fully accepted that the other person is only looking for something physical. If you’re secretly hoping for something deeper, you might end up wasting years chasing a fantasy, much like the author did.

Every single time I try to move on, you aren't there for me, and honestly, I don't feel like being with anyone else either. Is it even normal that he completely broke my spirit? I ended up walking away at 25 because I just lost all interest in men entirely.

Raymond Booth40 said:Every single time I try to move on, you aren't there for me, and honestly, I don't feel like being with anyone else either. Is it even normal that he completely broke my spirit? I ended up walking away at 25 because I just lost all interest in men entirely.

No, it isn't. The man told you no. Why continue to obsess over this? Grow up. You claim to be 25, yet your behavior suggests you haven't even hit double digits. Leave the man alone and stop chasing these ridiculous, half-baked delusions.

Raymond Booth40 said:Every single time I try to move on, you aren't there for me, and honestly, I don't feel like being with anyone else either. Is it even normal that he completely broke my spirit? I ended up walking away at 25 because I just lost all interest in men entirely.

You have to cut him out of your life entirely.

shadowbadger49 said:Then he clearly isn't that attractive. Back when I was seeing this incredibly hot girl... well, it's probably better if I don't go into detail. 😁 Honestly, I think the lighting might have been messing with your perception. ☕

Look, if a woman isn't feeling it, he just isn't hot enough—it's that simple.

I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

He’s irrelevant to the core issue here.
What you actually lack is a backbone.

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

Look. You're being exhausting about this. The guy already told you he’s done, and Amen. It shouldn't matter why. Honestly? My advice is to clear your head and just focus on getting back to the MLS.☕

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

Why are you so hung up on him? There are plenty of parties happening around the MLS stadium lately—just head over there, maybe you'll actually meet someone.

Raymond Booth40 said:I really need to understand why he won't commit to anyone. Honestly, being with him just leaves me feeling completely drained; I feel like my brain has been wiped clean and I'm not even the same person anymore.

He doesn't want anyone, and he doesn't want you. It's all the same in the end. Even if he meets someone else tomorrow and marries them in six months, there's nothing you can do about it. He keeps telling you the same thing over and over... just respect his word and save yourself the heartache.
This place is almost as entertaining as an old-school chat room 🤣 🤣