Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Maybe I’ll start seeing some progress too—who knows, right? We’re still dealing with constant bickering at home, so there's that. Thank Bog that things are looking up for you guys even if they aren't moving for me yet... though maybe I'll eventually catch a break.

The old man is about to get his old Slovenack pension sorted out soon. I’ve been trying to nudge him toward just getting a debit card, but he’s insisting on having the pension transferred directly to me—though honestly, knowing how much of an addict he is, I doubt he’ll actually follow through. My family has also started wondering if someone should step in and take control of my affairs too, but the old man is too stubborn and prideful to ever admit it, and I’m just stuck somewhere in the middle.

Carol Barrett2 said:Maybe I’ll start seeing some progress too—who knows, right? We’re still dealing with constant bickering at home, so there's that. Thank Bog that things are looking up for you guys even if they aren't moving for me yet... though maybe I'll eventually catch a break.

The old man is about to get his old Slovenack pension sorted out soon. I’ve been trying to nudge him toward just getting a debit card, but he’s insisting on having the pension transferred directly to me—though honestly, knowing how much of an addict he is, I doubt he’ll actually follow through. My family has also started wondering if someone should step in and take control of my affairs too, but the old man is too stubborn and prideful to ever admit it, and I’m just stuck somewhere in the middle.

I’ve been managing a mental health condition for about ten years now, and let me tell you, it’s been a million ups and downs. Right now, I’m doing alright, but who knows what the weather will be like by next spring or summer.
Are you from Canada? If I remember correctly, I think you mentioned that. I’m not really sure what the situation is like there regarding mental health care and treatment. If you don't mind, try to give me an objective look at how things are handled over there.

Harold Anderson3 said:I’ve been managing a mental health condition for about ten years now, and let me tell you, it’s been a million ups and downs. Right now, I’m doing alright, but who knows what the weather will be like by next spring or summer.
Are you from Canada? If I remember correctly, I think you mentioned that. I’m not really sure what the situation is like there regarding mental health care and treatment. If you don't mind, try to give me an objective look at how things are handled over there.

To put it bluntly, you can get pretty much anything you need here, provided you're willing to pay off some corrupt officials to look the other way. 🕺

Carol Barrett2 said:To put it bluntly, you can get pretty much anything you need here, provided you're willing to pay off some corrupt officials to look the other way. 🕺

I don't think I quite followed what you were getting at there 😢

I have a brother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia about ten years ago. In the beginning, his doctor struggled quite a bit to find the right treatment plan. For the last seven years, he’s been getting a Risperdal Consta injection every two weeks, but for the past three months, he’s switched to a monthly injection—I can't recall the exact name—plus Diazepam 10mg as needed. Despite all these medications, he still experiences occasional episodes. He tells me he feels fine, yet these episodes keep happening, especially when the weather changes or when he's under significant stress. His doctor claims this is fairly standard for patients in his situation and suggests we should just be grateful he's functional enough to handle some self-care. I guess I don't really see it that way; living in this constant state of uncertainty is difficult. I suppose I'm wondering what your thoughts or experiences are regarding how these types of medications actually work and their effectiveness?

crimsonfox5 said:I have a brother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia about ten years ago. In the beginning, his doctor struggled quite a bit to find the right treatment plan. For the last seven years, he’s been getting a Risperdal Consta injection every two weeks, but for the past three months, he’s switched to a monthly injection—I can't recall the exact name—plus Diazepam 10mg as needed. Despite all these medications, he still experiences occasional episodes. He tells me he feels fine, yet these episodes keep happening, especially when the weather changes or when he's under significant stress. His doctor claims this is fairly standard for patients in his situation and suggests we should just be grateful he's functional enough to handle some self-care. I guess I don't really see it that way; living in this constant state of uncertainty is difficult. I suppose I'm wondering what your thoughts or experiences are regarding how these types of medications actually work and their effectiveness?

Schizophrenia is a condition with a thousand different faces, and it hits everyone uniquely. It’s unlikely anyone will ever be fully "functional" in the traditional sense, myself included.
The real balancing act with dosing is trying to hit that sweet spot where episodes are minimized and kept mild, without turning the patient into a total zombie. I deal with my own periodic setbacks too, but the alternative is cranking up the dosage and feeling like a walking ghost.
If I try to explain why it works this way, I’d say the brain chemistry in someone with schizophrenia is more like a rolling ocean wave—or a sine wave if you want to get mathematical—rather than a stagnant pond. Because it's constantly moving, the exact same dose might feel insufficient when a wave of symptoms hits, yet feel far too heavy once the surge passes. It might be worth discussing with his doctor whether adding a second antipsychotic could help; for instance, I personally increase my Leponex whenever I feel a psychotic episode starting to brew. I suppose his doctor does have a point, though—being able to hold down a job is actually a huge win, considering more than half of us struggle to do that.

Harold Anderson3 said:I don't think I quite followed what you were getting at there 😢

Look, Jb-ga, I’m being dead serious here. This is just how things are. 😢Man, that’s just depressing.

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't checked in for a while. I've been reading through the threads and noticed things haven't been looking great for some of you.
I’ve dealt with significant crashes myself. Right now, I'm on Solian. I've seen two different psychiatrists, but the diagnosis remains the same.
The difference is that I'm finally stopping the denial. I'm accepting the reality and committing to treatment. So far, I think it's working. It’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows, but I'm putting in the effort. Today is a good day. Today, I actually feel like I can recover and leave all of this behind me—like it was nothing more than a bad dream.

On Solian, I feel pretty drowsy—almost drugged, like I'm being chemically altered. It feels like I'm not quite myself, but it helps anchor me to reality, even though I didn't struggle much with perception before, given my other negative symptoms. Those are still there: the depressive phases and that sense of emptiness.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't experienced hallucinations, because I have; I just had them occasionally and kept them to myself. They aren't happening anymore.
I'm doing better on this medication for now. I'm not drifting off into my own head. I even had a boyfriend once, and he told me I seemed "absent" a lot... I would also experience intense catatonic states and episodes involving muscle and jaw spasms. That has calmed down, and I didn't mention it to my doctor. I'm hopeful they'll stay gone. Those stupors and tremors were nasty, and honestly, I'm terrified they might come back. I need to continue my treatment with a female psychiatrist, as I feel male doctors often judge me differently.
So... that's basically where I've been at for the last few months.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Hi everyone, sorry I haven't checked in for a while. I've been reading through the threads and noticed things haven't been looking great for some of you.
I’ve dealt with significant crashes myself. Right now, I'm on Solian. I've seen two different psychiatrists, but the diagnosis remains the same.
The difference is that I'm finally stopping the denial. I'm accepting the reality and committing to treatment. So far, I think it's working. It’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows, but I'm putting in the effort. Today is a good day. Today, I actually feel like I can recover and leave all of this behind me—like it was nothing more than a bad dream.

On Solian, I feel pretty drowsy—almost drugged, like I'm being chemically altered. It feels like I'm not quite myself, but it helps anchor me to reality, even though I didn't struggle much with perception before, given my other negative symptoms. Those are still there: the depressive phases and that sense of emptiness.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't experienced hallucinations, because I have; I just had them occasionally and kept them to myself. They aren't happening anymore.
I'm doing better on this medication for now. I'm not drifting off into my own head. I even had a boyfriend once, and he told me I seemed "absent" a lot... I would also experience intense catatonic states and episodes involving muscle and jaw spasms. That has calmed down, and I didn't mention it to my doctor. I'm hopeful they'll stay gone. Those stupors and tremors were nasty, and honestly, I'm terrified they might come back. I need to continue my treatment with a female psychiatrist, as I feel male doctors often judge me differently.
So... that's basically where I've been at for the last few months.

Solian is actually the second most effective AP, right after Leponex. How's it working for you?
Have you thought about asking for an antidepressant? Personally, Ladiomil really did the trick for me.
I've been feeling totally dysfunctional these past two days, though—just completely out of it. 👎 Things will get better. 🙂 😉

My psychiatrist mentioned that Solian is actually quite effective.
I’ve tried plenty of antidepressants, but they just don't seem to do anything for me; I honestly felt like I was on Ladiomil for a while there. Unfortunately, I haven't felt any real difference.
College is... well... it could be better. I’m passing some classes, but struggling with others. I went through a few intense psychotic episodes recently, which left me mentally and physically drained, and it really took a toll on my studies. It was all incredibly exhausting.
Once I started recovering, my performance at school stabilized a bit. But now, the constant drowsiness from the medication is making me totally unproductive. I try to focus, but I end up falling asleep instead of studying, or I struggle to even stay awake during lectures. I’ve been drinking several cups of coffee and even the occasional Red Bull just to stay upright. It helps slightly, but it isn't a real fix.
It’s tough. The medication helps, but the fatigue and sluggishness are overwhelming.
Harold Anderson3, how are things going with your classes?

Rebecca Rivera3 said:My psychiatrist mentioned that Solian is actually quite effective.
I’ve tried plenty of antidepressants, but they just don't seem to do anything for me; I honestly felt like I was on Ladiomil for a while there. Unfortunately, I haven't felt any real difference.
College is... well... it could be better. I’m passing some classes, but struggling with others. I went through a few intense psychotic episodes recently, which left me mentally and physically drained, and it really took a toll on my studies. It was all incredibly exhausting.
Once I started recovering, my performance at school stabilized a bit. But now, the constant drowsiness from the medication is making me totally unproductive. I try to focus, but I end up falling asleep instead of studying, or I struggle to even stay awake during lectures. I’ve been drinking several cups of coffee and even the occasional Red Bull just to stay upright. It helps slightly, but it isn't a real fix.
It’s tough. The medication helps, but the fatigue and sluggishness are overwhelming.
Harold Anderson3, how are things going with your classes?

Well, typically, antidepressants don't hit quite as hard against depression as antipsychotics do for psychosis, though they still work; even if depression is unpleasant, it isn't quite as heavy a burden as dealing with psychosis. Since you're managing this condition, you'll likely continue to cycle through phases of depression, mania, psychosis, and euphoria throughout your life. You're smart, so I'm sure you've already started to figure out your own patterns. Tell me, do you ever experience those moments of pure euphoria? That feeling where you're finally "in the zone"? Even that isn't necessarily "good" in the long run, but it does feel nice to actually feel alive again after being stuck in a state of depression or apathy.
College is going alright for me—I'm in my second year. To give you the specifics, I've passed two midterms and failed two. I decided to take out a student loan so I wouldn't have to work, which felt like the only real way I could actually focus enough to finally finish my degree.

Harold Anderson3, you sound incredibly coherent for someone dealing with that diagnosis and juggling so many meds 👍

neonscout42 said:Harold Anderson3, you sound incredibly coherent for someone dealing with that diagnosis and juggling so many meds 👍

Thanks so much 🙂 I just really want to break down those old stereotypes about people in my situation, among other things. Besides, I have my own "off" days and rough months every now and then too, so no worries at all 🙂

Well, that’s just standard for where you’re at—it’s the same for me, and honestly, pretty much anyone else, not just people dealing with mental health stuff.

My situation is a total freak show, though—a weird one. I dealt with what felt like delusions or maybe delirium... twice. I think it was delusions, since I never had hallucinations. I was put on Metoten and Apaurin, and lived like that for 4 or 5 years—not because I have full-blown schizophrenia, but more like living in a long-term remission from psychosis. Looking back, I might have triggered that psychosis—that delusion thing—because of physical illness and depression; I was basically starving myself back then. I don't get hallucinations, nor have I ever. The worst part is, I’m starting to suspect Metoten is causing side effects—specifically, my vision is slowly fading. I wasn't anywhere near having vision issues until I started taking Metoten. Another side effect could be the depression, which hits me occasionally when I get worked up over family drama. Though, maybe that isn't even a side effect, maybe I'm just a naturally depressed person. But the vision thing? I’m seriously starting to doubt Metoten.

I’ll admit, I’m not doing great—physically and mentally, both are rough. Maybe there's some schizophrenia lurking in there somewhere, who knows, but I definitely don't have hallucinations, and I never have.

Apaurin actually works better for me. I take it to sleep, but since I’ve ended up with extra boxes lying around a few times, I’ll occasionally take some during the day just to chill out. And you know what? It actually works—it settles me down when I'm feeling restless and can even lift my mood a bit.

Back when I was taking Apaurin and Metoten together without a prescription—basically just messing around and making myself go even crazier—and then they swapped the Metoten for Risperidone... man, it was a close call. I almost lost it completely, maybe even went as far as trying to end it all.

I haven't seen a psychiatrist in over six months, so I don't really have anyone to talk to about this—there hasn't been much of a dialogue with them anyway. I've tried talking to my family a couple of times, but they don't really care. They're older, not exactly highly educated, and maybe they just aren't interested—or maybe it's mostly just shame. So, they just sweep all my problems under the rug to keep things "polite."

I was sitting there talking to my psychiatrists, trying to hammer home the fact that I’ve never once had hallucinations—not even a single one. Like, at all. But honestly? It was like trying to explain color to someone who’s blind. They just couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that I’ve never experienced them.

I’ve experienced hallucinations a few times throughout my life, and for me, they always feel like the absolute breaking point—a complete and total escape from reality. They were incredibly vivid, to the point where I was actually aware that they were hallucinations rather than real sensory input. It started with auditory ones, then moved to visual, and eventually even reached olfactory sensations. At a certain stage, you start losing the ability to distinguish between what you’re seeing and hearing versus what you’re just imagining in your head, and everything starts feeling surreal. It’s like being trapped in a dream while you're wide awake. I spent several hours in that state before the police ended up taking me to the hospital. I ended up staying there for six months, and for another four months after that, I wasn't even capable of handling the simplest part-time college jobs because of the heavy medications I was being put on. That was about eight years ago. Since then, I’ve had a few milder hospitalizations, mostly involving just auditory hallucinations, if anything at all.

Look, let’s get one thing straight—I haven't actually had any hallucinations. To be fair, I was pretty much losing my mind back then, but whether that qualifies as "hallucinating" is up for debate. I didn't see things then, and I don't see them now. What happened the second time around? That was likely a delusion. The first time, I just snapped under the sheer weight of everything going wrong. The second time, yeah, I went down a religious rabbit hole. And honestly, I think the medication I've been on for the last four or five years might be doing more harm than good—maybe it's a side effect of the methadone, or maybe it’s just because I spend way too much time glued to my laptop. I can't tell. If anything, I feel like my mental state is slipping because of this treatment, or maybe it's just the constant pressure from life hitting me all at once. Lately, I've been getting these intrusive, nasty thoughts, and when they hit, I find myself shaking my head just to try and shake them off.

The absolute worst part about this whole mess is that you're basically left with zero rights when it comes to getting actual help. It’s nearly impossible to find a job even if you're mostly sane. For someone like me, dealing with both physical and mental struggles? Forget about it. You're stuck in this impossible middle ground where you aren't "crazy" enough to qualify for certain support, but you're definitely not healthy enough to hold down a job. You're just stuck in limbo.

Carol Barrett2 said:Look, let’s get one thing straight—I haven't actually had any hallucinations. To be fair, I was pretty much losing my mind back then, but whether that qualifies as "hallucinating" is up for debate. I didn't see things then, and I don't see them now. What happened the second time around? That was likely a delusion. The first time, I just snapped under the sheer weight of everything going wrong. The second time, yeah, I went down a religious rabbit hole. And honestly, I think the medication I've been on for the last four or five years might be doing more harm than good—maybe it's a side effect of the methadone, or maybe it’s just because I spend way too much time glued to my laptop. I can't tell. If anything, I feel like my mental state is slipping because of this treatment, or maybe it's just the constant pressure from life hitting me all at once. Lately, I've been getting these intrusive, nasty thoughts, and when they hit, I find myself shaking my head just to try and shake them off.

The absolute worst part about this whole mess is that you're basically left with zero rights when it comes to getting actual help. It’s nearly impossible to find a job even if you're mostly sane. For someone like me, dealing with both physical and mental struggles? Forget about it. You're stuck in this impossible middle ground where you aren't "crazy" enough to qualify for certain support, but you're definitely not healthy enough to hold down a job. You're just stuck in limbo.

I really don't know what to say to you. Things are tough here, and I'm sure they're even tougher elsewhere. I have a few friends from Canada; one former colleague finished her Master's in English and moved away—I think she's in France now. She even spent some time in China. I've always believed that if you don't have much money, you just have to be careful with your spending. It makes sense. While the wealth gap between countries isn't necessarily massive, the inequality between individuals within a single country can be huge. Still, things can always get worse, so please don't lose hope.

Well, Harold Anderson3... I am checking in with you regularly through every stage, just like you suggested. Honestly, the mood swings are intense—it feels like I have multiple personalities, haha. Sometimes I hit these peaks of euphoria that I actually enjoy while they last, but they don't stay for long before crashing straight into a depressive state or something else entirely. It’s this strange sensation where my body feels completely detached from my soul. It is almost as if my spirit has stepped away to sit in a corner somewhere just to watch everything happen.
I actually tried psychotherapy once, but it didn't work out because I ended up developing feelings for the therapist. He told me he couldn't remain objective, so we had to end the sessions.
I was prescribed 200mg of Solian. Currently, I am taking half of that, which is 100mg, along with about 0.5 to 1mg of Lexapro daily, usually in the evening.

I’m right there with you—I go through those exact same phases. I just call it a roller coaster, or maybe an amplitude wave, honestly. It’s just up, down, up, down... constant movement. But look, I’m not saying I’ve had full-blown hallucinations, though it’s possible I’ve got some kind of schizophrenia since I know there's that non-specific version out there. The problem is, nobody actually wants to do anything about it. I don't know—my family won't step up, my psychiatrist wasn't exactly eager to dive deep either, etc. I took one of those tests once, but I just couldn't bring myself to answer half the questions. The psychologist basically told me they couldn't conclude anything from the results. I just didn't want to give answers to those incredibly stupid questions where there was no real way to respond—you know, when "not sure" or "I don't know" isn't even an option. It was just pointless.