What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

northernseal6 said:Look, I don't mind if someone's mom helps out, I just don't get why the dads never show up to help. Unless they're stuck in a wheelchair, I guess? 😉

In my house, while Mom was handling the housework, Dad would be busy painting the new apartment—so he was definitely contributing, just in a different way.

It's pretty much the same deal for me right now; since Mom isn't working, she can drop by whenever she wants. But as for Dad? He actually needs to take some vacation days to make it happen.

I honestly don't get it when someone’s mom or mother-in-law shows up just to scrub the floors and whip up lunch... I mean, seriously, what exactly is the husband doing while all that's happening? 🤔

jadejackal, I’m not even picking on anyone specific here, but it’s awesome that the older generation is stepping up to help. Seriously. The real issue is this outdated mindset where men aren't expected to chip in with housework, changing diapers, or watching the grandkids. It's like people still think women were just born to scrub floors, iron clothes, and deal with messy diapers.
It’s more about this deep-seated social injustice that everyone just accepts as totally normal.

Nathan Kelly said:I honestly don't get it when someone’s mom or mother-in-law shows up just to scrub the floors and whip up lunch... I mean, seriously, what exactly is the husband doing while all that's happening? 🤔

Work—you know the drill. It’s that grind where you’re up at 6:00 AM and don't crawl back through your front door until 6:00 PM. Exhausting? Absolutely.

northernseal6 — I hear you on what you’re getting at—I was just using that as an example to show how things play out on my end. And honestly? I’m right there with you. There is absolutely no reason to be dividing up jobs based on whether someone is a man or a woman.

Nancy Stewart38 said:I'm honestly just getting worked up at myself 😁 because by every single afternoon, I feel like I’ve got three pounds of lead sitting in my gut—and that’s after being on my feet for only half an hour! If this is how it feels now, I can't even imagine what's coming later...
And why does it always hit me right in the afternoon?

It’s almost like you’re carrying five pounds of dead weight in your stomach.🤣🤣

It honestly gets under my skin when people start calling me "mommy" or, even worse, "mama"—like we’re actually related or something. My own mom just calls me her kid, and that’s plenty for me.

It’s just awful. And man, the pressure to get married just because I’m pregnant is driving me insane. Everyone acts like something scandalous "happened" since we aren't married yet 🙄

I saw you guys talking about that whole "we'll see" nonsense earlier... honestly, that’s just straight up 🙂

Anyway, we’re waiting on a little girl, and no, everything doesn't need to be pink or red.

But like Michael Martin4 says, I’m basically just one giant ball of hormones right now.☕

Nathan Kelly said:I honestly don't get it when someone’s mom or mother-in-law shows up just to scrub the floors and whip up lunch... I mean, seriously, what exactly is the husband doing while all that's happening? 🤔

Props to anyone who thinks they can pull it all off solo, but honestly? I can't even imagine it. Like, I can't picture myself being the one stuck with the baby while my husband plays chef, makes lunch, vacuums, mops, does the dishes, handles the laundry, changes diapers, runs to Target, and actually hangs out with us... etc., etc. If he even manages to snag some downtime, I'm pretty sure it’s gonna be a struggle right from the start. 😵 Same here. And honestly, I definitely wouldn't have expected him to tackle all the housework with the same level of focus he’s putting in right now. 🤷

So I ended up in the hospital recently, stuck in a room with three elderly ladies—the youngest was born in '44—and me, the "young" expectant mother...
I don't even need to recount their initial comments ("Oh honey, back when *I* was pregnant... we didn't have ultrasounds or any of this tech stuff" 😬).
But the absolute highlight? My husband walks in, and the entire room just goes dead silent.
*...*
He steps out, and suddenly they start chirping away: "What a handsome husband," "Seriously, he's gorgeous," "My, what a young man," "Is he an athlete?" "He's so tall and fit..."
*Silence again.*
Then one of them whispers under her breath, "And you're pretty too, you've got lovely eyes."

Well, thanks a lot! 😬

Honestly, the biggest surprise has been how wonderful and peaceful everything feels during this pregnancy... aside from the fact that it’s been high-risk since day one 🙂. I’ve found myself being more patient, disciplined, and positive than I ever thought possible.

Yesterday, my husband gave me the best compliment... he told me that for months now, everyone has been warning him to watch out because I’d eventually deal with schizophrenia, panic attacks, or rage just because of "the hormones"... and then he looked at me yesterday and said, "I've been waiting and waiting... when is this hysteria actually going to 😂 happen???"!!!

That "I Was Once an Embryo" group is seriously getting on my nerves. It’s just awful 🙂🙂

ironjackal20 said:Honestly, the biggest surprise has been how wonderful and peaceful everything feels during this pregnancy... aside from the fact that it’s been high-risk since day one 🙂. I’ve found myself being more patient, disciplined, and positive than I ever thought possible.

Yesterday, my husband gave me the best compliment... he told me that for months now, everyone has been warning him to watch out because I’d eventually deal with schizophrenia, panic attacks, or rage just because of "the hormones"... and then he looked at me yesterday and said, "I've been waiting and waiting... when is this hysteria actually going to 😂 happen???"!!!

🙂
I really don't care about the small stuff. No drama, no outbursts, no crying my eyes out... yesterday a family friend who works as an RN told me she was totally floored by how chill I am 🙂
though I have a feeling that might change soon... between the insomnia, heartburn, low blood pressure, low iron, bed rest, lethargy, and my stomach tightening up, it’s pretty hard to stay totally cool 😳
The weirdest part is I feel like some lovesick teenager again😍🤣

northernseal6 said:I don't get the whole thing about the two women. Is tidying up somehow hardwired into female DNA while men are exempt?😕

The way people say "wittle baby," "sweetie pie," or "little munchkin" drives me absolutely crazy. I just say "child," but apparently that isn't "motherly" enough.
Also, hearing the word "mommy" used in every single context—at the doctor, at daycare, even on this forum—really bugs me.
It blows my mind how everyone acts shocked when I say I want my child to take my last name. I honestly don't see any reason why a kid should automatically carry the father's name instead of mine.
It really irritates me when women call their moms to come over and clean or cook after they give birth, yet they rarely mention their husbands, boyfriends, or dads helping out. Sure, not everyone can cook, but anyone can wash dishes, vacuum, or run to the grocery store. Everything else is just an excuse.
And it totally gets under my skin when people claim women are more naturally bonded to kids, or that we want them more, or that we're better at changing and bathing them. From where I'm standing, the only difference between me and a guy is that he can't give birth or breastfeed.
P.S. Obviously, I'm excited about my baby and I love them!🙂
Alright, go ahead and tear me apart.

Regarding that first bolded part—I couldn't agree more...

But I completely disagree with the second point...
Matthew Robinson29 is incredibly excited about our little one, and he plans to be just as hands-on as I am regarding all the caretaking, and his entire face just lights up whenever our baby is mentioned...
I truly believe he is going to be a wonderful father, overflowing with love...
My goal is to involve him as much as possible in every single aspect of our child's life, so that he never feels unnecessary or left out for even a moment...

But... but...
I have been lying down since my twelfth week until, well, almost the very end, and I have spent this entire pregnancy trembling with anxiety, riding through waves of depression, hysteria, and pure euphoria...
I am the one who felt every single tiny movement and kick of my baby against my heart during those moments when I genuinely feared I might not make it through the pregnancy...
I am the one carrying this baby through all these weeks and months... it's me, not Matthew Robinson29...
He loves and he wants this, and he is so empathetic, but he will never truly be able to understand...
My body has endured every single one of these transformations, and I am the one bringing a new life into this world, so in my eyes, there is a much, much deeper divide between me and Matthew Robinson29 than just the fact that he cannot give birth and breastfeed...

John Wilson9 said:Props to anyone who thinks they can pull it all off solo, but honestly? I can't even imagine it. Like, I can't picture myself being the one stuck with the baby while my husband plays chef, makes lunch, vacuums, mops, does the dishes, handles the laundry, changes diapers, runs to Target, and actually hangs out with us... etc., etc. If he even manages to snag some downtime, I'm pretty sure it’s gonna be a struggle right from the start. 😵 Same here. And honestly, I definitely wouldn't have expected him to tackle all the housework with the same level of focus he’s putting in right now. 🤷

If you set things up that way, I don't know how you'll manage once you head back to work. Everything stays the same, except now you're both working full-time.
And look, you don't need to vacuum and mop every single day or hit the big supermarkets constantly. You can make enough soup for two days, the laundry basically takes care of itself, and folding clothes only takes five minutes.
I'm not saying you shouldn't ask for help, but it surprises me that everyone assumes moms need constant assistance. My dad knows how to cook and clean just fine. 😉

Charles Moore49 said:Regarding that first bolded part—I couldn't agree more...

But I completely disagree with the second point...
Matthew Robinson29 is incredibly excited about our little one, and he plans to be just as hands-on as I am regarding all the caretaking, and his entire face just lights up whenever our baby is mentioned...
I truly believe he is going to be a wonderful father, overflowing with love...
My goal is to involve him as much as possible in every single aspect of our child's life, so that he never feels unnecessary or left out for even a moment...

But... but...
I have been lying down since my twelfth week until, well, almost the very end, and I have spent this entire pregnancy trembling with anxiety, riding through waves of depression, hysteria, and pure euphoria...
I am the one who felt every single tiny movement and kick of my baby against my heart during those moments when I genuinely feared I might not make it through the pregnancy...
I am the one carrying this baby through all these weeks and months... it's me, not Matthew Robinson29...
He loves and he wants this, and he is so empathetic, but he will never truly be able to understand...
My body has endured every single one of these transformations, and I am the one bringing a new life into this world, so in my eyes, there is a much, much deeper divide between me and Matthew Robinson29 than just the fact that he cannot give birth and breastfeed...

Your plan is to involve him as much as possible so he doesn't feel neglected. But when you put it that way, it sounds like you're saying it's "your" plan and he's just following along, as if it all depends on you. Of course, a man can't know exactly how a woman feels during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean he won't be just as attentive and great of a parent once the baby arrives. Plus, a mother can love her child less than a father does. It's about the individual, not gender.

Charles Moore49 said:Regarding that first bolded part—I couldn't agree more...

But I completely disagree with the second point...
Matthew Robinson29 is incredibly excited about our little one, and he plans to be just as hands-on as I am regarding all the caretaking, and his entire face just lights up whenever our baby is mentioned...
I truly believe he is going to be a wonderful father, overflowing with love...
My goal is to involve him as much as possible in every single aspect of our child's life, so that he never feels unnecessary or left out for even a moment...

But... but...
I have been lying down since my twelfth week until, well, almost the very end, and I have spent this entire pregnancy trembling with anxiety, riding through waves of depression, hysteria, and pure euphoria...
I am the one who felt every single tiny movement and kick of my baby against my heart during those moments when I genuinely feared I might not make it through the pregnancy...
I am the one carrying this baby through all these weeks and months... it's me, not Matthew Robinson29...
He loves and he wants this, and he is so empathetic, but he will never truly be able to understand...
My body has endured every single one of these transformations, and I am the one bringing a new life into this world, so in my eyes, there is a much, much deeper divide between me and Matthew Robinson29 than just the fact that he cannot give birth and breastfeed...

What you wrote here is just so beautiful... You couldn't have said it better if you tried, and honestly, every single word hits home perfectly.

northernseal6 said:If you set things up that way, I don't know how you'll manage once you head back to work. Everything stays the same, except now you're both working full-time.
And look, you don't need to vacuum and mop every single day or hit the big supermarkets constantly. You can make enough soup for two days, the laundry basically takes care of itself, and folding clothes only takes five minutes.
I'm not saying you shouldn't ask for help, but it surprises me that everyone assumes moms need constant assistance. My dad knows how to cook and clean just fine. 😉

Look, I'm talking about the beginning stages. My mom isn't gonna be hovering over me until I actually land a job.😕
Same here, but in those moments, I just want my mom nearby. It's got nothing to do with trying to dodge chores or whatever.🤷

northernseal6 said:I don't get the whole thing about the two women. Is tidying up somehow hardwired into female DNA while men are exempt?😕

The way people say "wittle baby," "sweetie pie," or "little munchkin" drives me absolutely crazy. I just say "child," but apparently that isn't "motherly" enough.
Also, hearing the word "mommy" used in every single context—at the doctor, at daycare, even on this forum—really bugs me.
It blows my mind how everyone acts shocked when I say I want my child to take my last name. I honestly don't see any reason why a kid should automatically carry the father's name instead of mine.
It really irritates me when women call their moms to come over and clean or cook after they give birth, yet they rarely mention their husbands, boyfriends, or dads helping out. Sure, not everyone can cook, but anyone can wash dishes, vacuum, or run to the grocery store. Everything else is just an excuse.
And it totally gets under my skin when people claim women are more naturally bonded to kids, or that we want them more, or that we're better at changing and bathing them. From where I'm standing, the only difference between me and a guy is that he can't give birth or breastfeed.
P.S. Obviously, I'm excited about my baby and I love them!🙂
Alright, go ahead and tear me apart.

Unlike my husband—who apparently doesn't care if there’s a layer of dust on the floor—I actually have standards. It bothers me. Why? Who knows—it's probably just in my DNA. 🤷

northernseal6 said:Look, I don't mind if someone's mom helps out, I just don't get why the dads never show up to help. Unless they're stuck in a wheelchair, I guess? 😉

Because—let's be honest—not all of us were lucky enough to land husbands or fathers who actually give a damn about helping out around the house. They know. To get things done. My husband, for instance— He wants it. I have to tell him to mop the floor, vacuum, or load the dishwasher—not because he actually cares about the dust or the dirty plates, mind you—but... Not exactly how it was supposed to be done—clearly. I don't have much to say on this—not that anyone asked. He certainly knows his way around—and he’s got the skills to back it up, too.Yeah, same here—honestly. Not up to par. I’d honestly rather have my mother—or even my mother-in-law—staying with us than deal with his way of doing things. He can handle the basics—changing the baby's diaper, keeping an eye on them while I hit the Peloton, running to Target, washing the car, or handling the bills at Chase—but the cleaning? Forget it. You really can't teach an old dog new tricks, believe me. ☕

northernseal6 said:Your plan is to involve him as much as possible so he doesn't feel neglected. But when you put it that way, it sounds like you're saying it's "your" plan and he's just following along, as if it all depends on you. Of course, a man can't know exactly how a woman feels during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean he won't be just as attentive and great of a parent once the baby arrives. Plus, a mother can love her child less than a father does. It's about the individual, not gender.

First off: Excuse me? That’s not how it works at all because it really does depend on the woman, and honestly, it depends on who he's going to rely on...I don't think there's a single man out there who is going to grab a screaming infant right out of someone's arms and insist, "let me soothe them," or step up and say, "don't worry, I'll handle this diaper change"...so, in reality, it actually does depend on you, specifically regarding how much space you provide and how much you encourage him to step up...

And personally, I still believe gender plays a role here...since I'm not talking about mothers who happen to love their biological children less than the father does...

Jerry Bailey47 said:Unlike my husband—who apparently doesn't care if there’s a layer of dust on the floor—I actually have standards. It bothers me. Why? Who knows—it's probably just in my DNA. 🤷

Because—let's be honest—not all of us were lucky enough to land husbands or fathers who actually give a damn about helping out around the house. They know. To get things done. My husband, for instance— He wants it. I have to tell him to mop the floor, vacuum, or load the dishwasher—not because he actually cares about the dust or the dirty plates, mind you—but... Not exactly how it was supposed to be done—clearly. I don't have much to say on this—not that anyone asked. He certainly knows his way around—and he’s got the skills to back it up, too.Yeah, same here—honestly. Not up to par. I’d honestly rather have my mother—or even my mother-in-law—staying with us than deal with his way of doing things. He can handle the basics—changing the baby's diaper, keeping an eye on them while I hit the Peloton, running to Target, washing the car, or handling the bills at Chase—but the cleaning? Forget it. You really can't teach an old dog new tricks, believe me. ☕

I hate a mess, but being a woman doesn't mean cleaning is in my DNA.
It isn't about luck to have a dad or husband who wants to or knows how to do chores. It's about luck to have a partner like that. Why should women be expected to know how to do everything perfectly while men don't? A man who can't vacuum as well as I can is just a lazy bum. Period. Including mine. Vacuuming isn't rocket science.

Charles Moore49 said:First off: Excuse me? That’s not how it works at all because it really does depend on the woman, and honestly, it depends on who he's going to rely on...I don't think there's a single man out there who is going to grab a screaming infant right out of someone's arms and insist, "let me soothe them," or step up and say, "don't worry, I'll handle this diaper change"...so, in reality, it actually does depend on you, specifically regarding how much space you provide and how much you encourage him to step up...

And personally, I still believe gender plays a role here...since I'm not talking about mothers who happen to love their biological children less than the father does...

Look, I really don't like your takes. Honestly, it feels like you're just projecting this onto your husband, your boyfriend, or whatever. You're describing my boyfriend, my friends, most of my friends' partners, and I can't even recognize my own dad in your descriptions! Why would I even consider having a kid with someone who wouldn't step up and say they'll soothe the baby or change a diaper?
It’s not even unrealistic to say there are men out there who wouldn't change their own kid's diaper, because I know plenty of them. It's wild to me that anyone thinks that's okay.
So, basically, a woman is a "bad mother" if she loves her kid less than the man does. Well, is he a "bad father" if he loves the kid less than she does? Or is it just normal and natural for both parents to love them equally?
🤣