What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

jadejackal said:No,
he’s currently laying tile in our new place...
plus, we have a massive yard—about 10,000 square feet—filled with fruit trees, flowers, and landscaping... that needs constant upkeep all year round.
To me, it just makes more sense for my mom to come over and help out with the housework, while he stays busy with his projects so we can move into the new house sooner.

You’re looking at this strictly from your own perspective—I'm assuming you live in a 500-square-foot apartment on the 8th floor of a high-rise, where the only thing to do after work is crash on the sofa and watch TV.

I’m looking at this from mine—which is everything I just mentioned.

Different lifestyles require different approaches.
If you honestly find that hard to wrap your head around, then I don't even know what to tell you.

And my flooring😉

It's tough for jadejackal to understand how a massive property compares to a tiny apartment on the fifth floor.

Neither my mom nor I can realistically expect our husbands to vacuum the house and cook lunch before they go out to tend the vineyard or the orchards, especially since we're busy with farm work ten months out of the year. Our guys are incredibly hardworking and never complain about the labor; honestly, I'm lucky to have three men like that in my life.

And yeah... weekends don't really exist for us unless it happens to be a major holiday... most weekends are just working days.☕...

Is this the poll for the show's intro: 'I'm swapping my husband 😁'
? 🍿

James Cox6 said:Is this the poll for the show's intro: 'I'm swapping my husband 😁'
? 🍿

No, but I feel like my final conclusion will be: "What was the most irritating thing about pregnancy?" Honestly, out of everything possible, this topic is currently leading the pack. 😂😂😂

I'm happy with ☕, thank God it wasn't any worse!

aha.... was this topic what got under your skin the most during pregnancy?
and why's that?
I don't get how an American would say 🤔

James Cox6 said:aha.... was this topic what got under your skin the most during pregnancy?
and why's that?
I don't get how an American would say 🤔

Well, you know... 😵 You can find just about everything here... things that make me laugh, things that get under my skin, all of it. I'm really glad this forum exists.

ironjackal20 said:Well, you know... 😵 You can find just about everything here... things that make me laugh, things that get under my skin, all of it. I'm really glad this forum exists.

even you've found a purpose here😁
who says just sitting around and doing nothing is a death sentence?😁 sure, by the time you hit labor you'll be brain-dead, totally disconnected from reality and all your friends... but hey, it is what it is
.

James Cox6 said:even you've found a purpose here😁
who says just sitting around and doing nothing is a death sentence?😁 sure, by the time you hit labor you'll be brain-dead, totally disconnected from reality and all your friends... but hey, it is what it is
.

As for staying connected, I’m on Skype with people all over the world constantly. The time difference is actually great because there's always someone awake somewhere.😉

I honestly love this peace and solitude; I've never had this much of it before. To be truthful, lounging around isn't so bad when you have people looking after you and keeping you fed.😍.

John Wilson9 said:It’s honestly ridiculous how people call it "slavery" when a guy just wants to crash after work. I don't know what kind of women they're talking about then—the ones whose husbands never lift a single finger around the house ☕
Me? I’ve basically been on vacation for a week staying at my mom’s place... He gets home around 5, maybe takes a quick breather, then hits the books or starts tackling stuff like cleaning his room, organizing the closet, painting, whatever. If things need doing, he'll vacuum or toss a load of laundry in... but seriously, where is he supposed to find more time? I'm the one cooking lunch every day, doing the ironing, and handling all that other stuff 🤷
At the end of the day, if a couple works out this way and they're both happy, why does everyone have to jump down their throats calling women "slaves" and men "useless"??? 🙄

I won't comment on everything, but I mostly agree with Nathan Kelly.
And this bolded part totally won me over again. So, housework is a woman's job, and the man helps out. Great. Lucky us!
I forgot to ask the ones who go to their moms where only their moms help them. Where's the dad?

ironjackal20 said:And my flooring😉

It's tough for jadejackal to understand how a massive property compares to a tiny apartment on the fifth floor.

Neither my mom nor I can realistically expect our husbands to vacuum the house and cook lunch before they go out to tend the vineyard or the orchards, especially since we're busy with farm work ten months out of the year. Our guys are incredibly hardworking and never complain about the labor; honestly, I'm lucky to have three men like that in my life.

And yeah... weekends don't really exist for us unless it happens to be a major holiday... most weekends are just working days.☕...

Nobody was talking about people like your dad or your husband.
We’re talking about the average American family living in a 500-square-foot apartment. Both the wife and the husband work through their pregnancies. So, who does the chores? Him or her? Why not both?
I’m trying to talk about equality—meaning housework, yard work, and everything else should be split up. If he handles the garden, the weeding, the harvesting, or mowing, then she can handle the vacuuming, cooking, laundry, and cleaning. Or they can just divvy it up based on what works for them.
If you only live in an apartment, how do you divide the labor if he’s terrible at vacuuming, can't mop, doesn't know how to cook, or is totally useless with diapers, putting the baby to sleep, or hanging up the laundry?
What happens when she goes back to work and is pulling 8-hour shifts or more? On top of all the housework, there’s also the kid. Or multiple kids. How does that even work?

northernseal6 said:Nobody was talking about people like your dad or your husband.
We’re talking about the average American family living in a 500-square-foot apartment. Both the wife and the husband work through their pregnancies. So, who does the chores? Him or her? Why not both?
I’m trying to talk about equality—meaning housework, yard work, and everything else should be split up. If he handles the garden, the weeding, the harvesting, or mowing, then she can handle the vacuuming, cooking, laundry, and cleaning. Or they can just divvy it up based on what works for them.
If you only live in an apartment, how do you divide the labor if he’s terrible at vacuuming, can't mop, doesn't know how to cook, or is totally useless with diapers, putting the baby to sleep, or hanging up the laundry?
What happens when she goes back to work and is pulling 8-hour shifts or more? On top of all the housework, there’s also the kid. Or multiple kids. How does that even work?

Go back and read all my previous posts; you'll see exactly what this specific thread is addressing.
And why would you assume we aren't an average family? That's how most households live in California. Do you really think life is perfectly balanced just in big cities or high-rise apartments?

northernseal6 said:Nobody was talking about people like your dad or your husband.
We’re talking about the average American family living in a 500-square-foot apartment. Both the wife and the husband work through their pregnancies. So, who does the chores? Him or her? Why not both?
I’m trying to talk about equality—meaning housework, yard work, and everything else should be split up. If he handles the garden, the weeding, the harvesting, or mowing, then she can handle the vacuuming, cooking, laundry, and cleaning. Or they can just divvy it up based on what works for them.
If you only live in an apartment, how do you divide the labor if he’s terrible at vacuuming, can't mop, doesn't know how to cook, or is totally useless with diapers, putting the baby to sleep, or hanging up the laundry?
What happens when she goes back to work and is pulling 8-hour shifts or more? On top of all the housework, there’s also the kid. Or multiple kids. How does that even work?

Then they just handle it however they agree... that's their business.

Though, my partner and I aren't exactly "average" since we have a house and a yard. 😍

And honestly, what the hell is everyone's problem with housework anyway? First, it’s all these comments starting with "just wait until the baby comes..." and now this whole debate... I don't see the big deal here. 🤷

I honestly don't get why those women feel targeted—you know, the ones whose husbands spend all day out there pulling weeds and trimming the hedges instead of helping out🤷

Anyway, I don't want to go totally off-topic here, but

it’s driving me crazy because I couldn't hear the baby clearly at all today🙂
I mean, I was practically contorting myself into a pretzel trying to listen, but nope, nothing🙂

Nathan Kelly said:I honestly don't get why those women feel targeted—you know, the ones whose husbands spend all day out there pulling weeds and trimming the hedges instead of helping out🤷

Anyway, I don't want to go totally off-topic here, but

it’s driving me crazy because I couldn't hear the baby clearly at all today🙂
I mean, I was practically contorting myself into a pretzel trying to listen, but nope, nothing🙂

I had one of those days too where I couldn't feel a thing. At first, I tried switching positions—didn't work. Then I grabbed something sweet and finally felt a little movement, but it wasn't anything major, just some squirming... Guess she was just having an off day...

Look, there’s really no reason to stress out about it. It’s just one of those days where everything goes sideways...

It’s all about feeling it—even just a little bit. That subtle vibration? That’s fine. But you need to be hitting at least ten moves an hour to make it count.

That’s why I’ve been playing my heart out all day today...

ironjackal20 said:Go back and read all my previous posts; you'll see exactly what this specific thread is addressing.
And why would you assume we aren't an average family? That's how most households live in California. Do you really think life is perfectly balanced just in big cities or high-rise apartments?

I'm talking about people who DON'T live in a house or a mansion, and don't have a yard, woods, a farm, or a vineyard. Still waiting on an answer there.
My heart starts racing constantly—it's been going on for 17 weeks now. If I don't hear from her after I get upset or something, I just spiral into total panic.

Morgan Kim2 said:It’s all about feeling it—even just a little bit. That subtle vibration? That’s fine. But you need to be hitting at least ten moves an hour to make it count.

That’s why I’ve been playing my heart out all day today...

I don't quite get this... who is supposed to be seeing 10 movements, the mom or the baby, and starting from which week if we're talking about the baby?

northernseal6 said:I'm talking about people who DON'T live in a house or a mansion, and don't have a yard, woods, a farm, or a vineyard. Still waiting on an answer there.
My heart starts racing constantly—it's been going on for 17 weeks now. If I don't hear from her after I get upset or something, I just spiral into total panic.

At the end of the day, doesn't it just come down to whether those two people are on the same page in their own home?

If a woman is happy with her life—handling everything from cooking and cleaning to her career and childcare—who are we to judge her?

I try to explain that things work differently in our household, because my mom and I often lose our minds because all the guys in the family feel obligated to finish every single chore that specific day or weekend 🙂 so, we're just stuck at the opposite extreme 😉.

ironjackal20 said:I don't quite get this... who is supposed to be seeing 10 movements, the mom or the baby, and starting from which week if we're talking about the baby?

The general rule is you want to feel ten kicks or rolls within an hour—basically, just making sure you actually feel them—though I recall reading somewhere else that the benchmark is over a two-hour window.🤔 Honestly, I have no clue which week they expect you to start counting, but the whole thing sounds a bit surreal to me. Babies aren't programmed like Swiss watches; they have quiet days just like anyone else. They don't just tap you on the shoulder at the exact same time every single day.🤷

I'm honestly more stressed out than anyone else right now.🙂

I’ve got my doctor's appointment in an hour, so I’ll just lay it all out there and get some real answers.

Nathan Kelly said:The general rule is you want to feel ten kicks or rolls within an hour—basically, just making sure you actually feel them—though I recall reading somewhere else that the benchmark is over a two-hour window.🤔 Honestly, I have no clue which week they expect you to start counting, but the whole thing sounds a bit surreal to me. Babies aren't programmed like Swiss watches; they have quiet days just like anyone else. They don't just tap you on the shoulder at the exact same time every single day.🤷

I'm honestly more stressed out than anyone else right now.🙂

I’ve got my doctor's appointment in an hour, so I’ll just lay it all out there and get some real answers.

I heard that too, but only during those final weeks before delivery when doctors tell moms to start tracking movement. If that rule starts at 23 weeks, then my little guy is doing the exact opposite. 😁.

Right now he’s wide awake and kicking constantly, but I know he’ll be dead quiet in an hour. It doesn't seem right that he's always active while moms are trying to rest and sleep, since babies need their sleep too. 😕