I suppose it’s my turn to weigh in and share what I went through. Throughout my pregnancy and the postpartum period, the primary source of my irritation was my mother-in-law and my own mother. Once my mother-in-law found out I was pregnant, she started sending me daily texts asking if I was feeling alright, even when I wasn't even— 🙂 well, let's just say I eventually had to snap and tell her quite clearly that I am not an invalid, and if I ever actually feel unwell, I promise she will be the first to know...
The very first day we arrived home with the baby, both my in-laws and my mother showed up at the door. I told my husband right then and there that once we have our second child, I am locking the doors... (though I can only hope I possess enough backbone to actually follow through on that).
On the second day, my mother-in-law called my husband to check the status of things, and since the little one happened to be crying during the call, she came flying over uninvited 😠 (she lives in the apartment complex right next to us). She immediately started fussing about how the baby looked yellow and all sorts of other nonsense. In a moment of pure panic, I called a nurse I used to know from the hospital to get some professional advice. It turns out, I later read that newborns are often a bit yellow and it's quite common for up to three weeks after birth. But in that moment? She managed to scare the life out of me in seconds. To make matters worse, everyone—my mother and my in-laws alike—just kept hovering and patronizing me, competing over who would cook for us; if it wasn't the in-laws, they'd insist my mother should do it because her cooking is supposedly better. While they really do all cook wonderfully, you simply cannot reason with fools....
The absolute peak of my frustration, however, was when my mother-in-law decided to lecture me on breastfeeding. She didn't even breastfeed her own two children, yet here she was, acting like an expert on a subject she has zero experience with.
For instance, whenever I would retreat to the bedroom to nurse, she would follow me in and start lecturing me on things like how to watch the baby's nose, as if I hadn't a clue. Haloooooo, I spent four days in the hospital nursing without a single issue, and now suddenly you're the authority on the matter? Eventually, she got the message when I firmly told her to stop being so salty. And then there's my father-in-law, who acts like he's the ultimate authority on breastfeeding quality and everything else under the sun. Sure, he's clearly the smartest man in the room. He’d claim the baby was fussy because of the milk, when in reality, it was his constant badgering and his wife's nagging that were making *me* nervous. They really need to just back off.
And oh, just when she knew she was coming over while I was nursing, she’d drop comments about how the baby was always latching onto one specific side (which just happened to be the side I was currently using)....
In short, it was exhausting. The worst part is that they live so close by. I truly hope that when the second baby comes, I’ll have the strength to finally set some boundaries, because I am usually such a calm person when it's just me, my husband, and the baby. It's this group that makes me incredibly anxious. Even just typing this out now, remembering how it all went down, I can feel myself starting to shake. They aren't bad people, and I think they genuinely want what's best for us, but their constant questioning and unsolicited advice produces the exact opposite effect.
