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Posts by casualotter21

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Troy in Movies · Jun 10, 2004

frozenhound34 said:I have to disagree with you there.

Oh, please, you totally agree! Setting aside Monica Bellucci, even you admitted that Diane Kruger "isn't bad." Well, Helen of Troy isn't "bad" either. She has to be... HELEN OF TROY! It’s enough to make your jaw hit the floor, like that guy in Maska Kad seeing Cameron Diaz.

It was especially hilarious when Helen tells Paris something along the lines of, "Yes, you're young and ambitious, that's why you say that." As if—the girl is probably five years *younger* than him. 😁

Troy in Movies · Jun 10, 2004

casualotter21 said:What did you guys think of the actress who played Helen? She was incredible. 😎

Sure, she’s hot, but she’s completely vacuous. There's zero charisma there. I mean, we're talking about *Helen of Troy* here, for crying out loud! A woman in that role should have a presence so commanding that one single smile makes you feel like you need her permission just to breathe.

It's either Monica Bellucci or nothing at all! 😁

Troy in Movies · Jun 9, 2004

casualotter21 said:It was like Apollo riding his chariot. 😁

Oh my god! That scene is absolutely iconic. I definitely need to bookmark that for future reference!

The Time Keeper in Movies · May 31, 2004

"The core storyline isn't actually terrible; it's simply a victim of poor casting, lackluster direction, and subpar production values."

Translation:
"It’s not that the movie itself is bad—it’s just that the acting is off, the directing is weak, the production is messy, the script is flawed... basically, everything."

Honestly, though, the film sounds gloriously awful. I’d actually be down to see it. 😬

Best late 18th-century period pieces? in Movies · May 31, 2004

Jeffrey Edwards18 said:Oh... so you only watch period dramas and sci-fi series?

Did your mother sew you that adorable little Federation uniform?

Or do you fall into that other category?

The ones who insist on wearing Klingon costumes?
😁

I only wear my Klingon costume when I attend Sunday service at the Jedi church, if you must know! 👋

Best late 18th-century period pieces? in Movies · May 30, 2004

Jeffrey Edwards18 said:Ah... there are still some connoisseurs out there...

And on top of all that, I still manage to find time for regular viewings of Star Trek, which I absolutely adore.

But in all seriousness, that movie is fantastic. Even if it's just playing on TV again, I'll be sure to record it.

<A formal ball. A flower of the French aristocracy stands in her finest attire, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the king and queen. When they finally emerge onto the grand staircase descending into the hall, it turns out that Louis XVI, the king of France, is dressed in a giant chicken costume.>

King: "Why aren't you wearing a mask? Actually, why is nobody else besides me wearing a mask?"
Queen: "Because this is just an ordinary ball."
King: "But... didn't you say we were having a masquerade?!"
Queen: "I changed my mind."

Regarding films, I might suggest "Madness of King George" based on the stage play of the same name. The play is actually titled "Madness of King George III," but they altered the film title because they were worried the American audience would mistake it for a third installment in a series. 😁 Regardless, the cast is excellent: featuring Ian Holm, Rupert Everett as the Prince of Wales, and Nigel Hawthorne (Sir Humphrey from "Yes, Minister!") as King George III.

Best late 18th-century period pieces? in Movies · May 30, 2004

Jacob Wilson50 said:A comedy?
No thank you, that wasn't exactly the genre I had in mind.

Well, suit yourself!

"I warn you gentlemen, I am not to be trifled with. To pull
the tail of a lion is to open the mouth of trouble and reveal
the teeth of revenge biting the tongue of deceit."
Duke d'Escargot: "Revolution without me"

I won't even bother quoting the discussion regarding work and pleasure, as it is quite frankly nauseating. 😁

Wonder Woman Attack! in Movies · May 28, 2004

unknown said:maybe this will actually restore your passion for cinema:
🙂

😁 😁 😉

<sigh>

Yes, yes, I am well aware that you have a certain penchant for sadism. I had foolishly assumed we had all become immune to it by now. 🙂

Troy in Movies · May 28, 2004

eviltel said:By the way, Achilles certainly played his part in the fall of Troy—he took out their only competent commander.

That speaks volumes about the leadership in Troy. 😁>

Troy in Movies · May 27, 2004

Richard Hernandez13 said:You seem to have overlooked this:
4) He would welcome every blow from Apollo, for love conquers all.
😁

Which brings us to Jesus's signature move:

Jesus is your savior! Jesus KICKS ASS!

Troy in Movies · May 27, 2004

nimblemarlin17 said:No, Apollo doesn't exist. Achilles just took his head off and nothing happened. Honestly, what kind of weak arguments are these? 😁

The real question here is: if Achilles and Paris went at it, who would come out on top? Actually, a better question might be: if Apollo and Achilles squared off, who wins? But really, the most important question of all is: if Jesus Christ and Apollo fought, who would win? Personally, I’d put my money on Jesus:

1) He spent years building up strength like a master carpenter,
2) He's strong enough to carry a cross by himself,
3) He has an incredible capacity for enduring pain and physical strikes.

On the other hand, Apollo isn't even real.

Troy in Movies · May 26, 2004

Nancy Kim2 said:GNN, maybe the heat is finally getting to my brain (just ask C'Teba), but honestly, I can't stay indifferent to these comics... here's a little ego boost for the road: 🙏 🙏 🙏

I know, I know—all I wanted was a little praise over the last couple of days. Instead, I've spent five times more time online than usual, rambling on and posting nonsense just to see if I could be funny. It’s probably time for me to retreat back into the shadows again, partly for my sanity and partly because my Verizon bill is going to be absolutely astronomical this month. 😢

Troy in Movies · May 26, 2004

Paul Campbell3 said:I don't think he even actually fought the king in the epic, but I could be wrong.

Actually, Paris tries to take on Menelaus in the poem, but Aphrodite just teleports him back to Helen's room because she isn't interested in seeing him get hurt.

Troy in Movies · May 24, 2004

rapidstag74 said:What's actually good about Hector? The guy is feckin' boring.

He loves his father and his cooking...

He loves his wife and child...

He loves his brother...

He loves his people...

...

and the people love him back...

Hector, the prince of loyalty.

Only on FOX! :top 👍 👍

Wonder Woman Attack! in Movies · May 24, 2004

unknown said:To be fair...
it’s quite dull if you're anticipating the kind of campy trash typical of the 50s...
this leans more toward surrealist drama—a sort of cinematic fairy tale...

Oh, please, just throw in the phrase "delicious satire" and I'll lose any remaining desire to actually watch the movie.🙂

Zatoichi in Movies · May 24, 2004

Adam Wright56 said:Dude, didn't I already give you Battle Royale??? 😕

Please don't tell me you haven't watched it yet. 🙂

Yeah, I did. But as far as I know, that isn't a Takeshi Kitano film. He's just acting in it. By the way, if you happen to have anything else by Kitano on DivX or video, maybe we could work something out, hmmm...

Zatoichi in Movies · May 24, 2004

Noah Patel70 said:What's wrong with Kill Bill? It's easily one of the best samurai-style films of the 21st century.

It lasts about three years, if I recall correctly.

Man, I actually like Kill Bill, so I'm not going to sit here making baseless nitpicks like you are.🙂

Troy in Movies · May 24, 2004

nimblemarlin17 said:The film is solid. It runs about two and a half hours, though I found the seating to be quite uncomfortable—ever since I started frequenting AMC Theatres, I suppose I've become a bit of a snob regarding legroom.

Oh, absolutely. I completely get where you're coming from. Jay keeps wondering why he and cp.taru are constantly complaining about that specific chair at the Mall of America near Times Square. There's just nothing like it—honestly, if I could just haul that armchair home, I’d spend my entire day parked right in front of the TV in it.

There is no magic left.

Of course it happens: 50,000 Achaeans land 1,000 ships at Troy and manage to prep for battle in literally one day. D-Day, eat your heart out! That’s the fundamental flaw in those supposedly "realistic" epic films. When stuff like that happens in Lord of the Rings, I just shrug it off and think, "Whatever, it's epic fantasy; that kind of logic is part of the deal." But when they try to pull that nonsense in a "historically accurate reconstruction" of the Trojan War, it just sucks.

Like I said before: the filmmakers are trying to have it both ways—they want to be grounded and realistic while simultaneously aiming for that epic, larger-than-life scale. MAKE UP YOUR FREAKIN' MIND, PEOPLE!

My favorite part has to be that opening sequence where Achilles storms onto the battlefield in a total rage, absolutely dominates, and then stomps off even more furious after clashing with that tall guy.

The rule of the stage! 👍 👍

Wonder Woman Attack! in Movies · May 23, 2004

rapidstag74 said:The only redeeming quality of this flick is the poster, featuring the stunning Daryl Hannah in the background while a bunch of people run and scream in front of her—except they aren't actually people, just some cardboard cut-outs lifted from old monster movie posters.

Still, the original film poster remains superior. A total classic.

PROVE IT OR TAKE IT BACK!!!!

...

I'm posting BOTH posters so we can actually compare them. 😁

Troy in Movies · May 23, 2004

Nicole Baker said:I just read that Brad Pitt is starring in this one, so I’m definitely planning to catch it. Maybe on a Monday when theater tickets are cheaper... I can already picture him running around half-naked through the entire movie. 😍