Posts by Dennis Torres

Man, it hurts...
death is a total piece of cake

Batgirl said:Is anyone else actually reading this? Anyway, honestly, most diagnoses are total BS. I know plenty of people who’ve been through the wringer in mental hospitals (and yeah, I’ve been there myself), and I know tons of actual crazy people too. It’s funny how those two groups don't really overlap much at all. 🙂 So, here’s my unsolicited advice to anyone carrying a diagnosis: don't let anyone tell you that you aren't normal. And seriously, stay far away from the people who just pity you. You might definitely have some stuff in your life you need to sort out, but that doesn't mean you're broken or sick. Half the time, you just need to cut out the toxic people surrounding you.

I'm totally with you on this 😬

but it's not like you can fix everything just by moving to a new city or changing your scenery...
sometimes you really do need "professional help"
though whether that help is actually decent, competent, or even right for you is a whole different story...😢

restlessseal16 said:Did you guys actually know that repressed sex or aggressive urges are basically sitting right at the core of OCD?

Haha, well, if we're going strictly by psychoanalytic theory...☕
I mean, personally, that whole explanation feels a little bit out there to me, but hey, whatever works!

Honestly, we’re all just judging everything based on first impressions, right?
Like, you meet someone, you get this initial vibe from them, and sure, more info might nudge how you see them later on... but that gut feeling you got at the start? It pretty much sticks around for the long haul.

So, why does someone seem totally different after a while?
Ugh, there are like a million reasons for that!
Personally, my mood can swing from being super low to being a complete ray of sunshine, so if someone meets me when I'm feeling totally depressed, they’re going to have a way different opinion of me than if they catch me when I'm feeling super happy and stoked...
But I feel like once someone meets me during one of those down periods, they kind of hold onto that info—they know I *can* be like that, even if I end up being way more bubbly and fun later on. That little bit of data about me having my depressive moments just stays in the back of their mind.

Ethan Sullivan2 said:Jealousy is way more about emotions than just being envious.

That’s exactly what I’m getting at!
It all boils down to the same emotional core...
we're talking about the exact same feelings...
it’s just how we label them depending on the situation...

Seriously, try this little mental exercise: think back to a time you felt pure envy and make a list of how that actually felt inside...
and then do the same thing for those moments where someone's success triggered a massive wave of jealousy in you...

Because let's be real, envy isn't just about wanting someone else's car or house...
I could totally feel envious of my best friend just because she’s such a natural storyteller and can kill it with a joke every single time, while I'm over here stumbling through my punchlines...
or would we just lump that under "jealousy" too? lol...

Ugh... man, I remember those heavy grieving phases back in the day...

hmmm... now what was that book called again?
Something about health psychology, I think... yeah, that’s it!
Thank goodness my brain's internal search engine hasn't completely crashed yet!
So, basically, the stages of grief would be something like

1. The Numbness Phase—this is where you're practically a zombie, right? You don't really feel anything, you just deny everything, and it's like you can't even wrap your head around the fact that the person you lost is actually gone. This phase usually hits right after the loss, maybe lasting a few days.

2. The Yearning and Protest Phase—this is when the anger kicks in because they left you behind, and that's when the *real* sadness, as we know it, starts hitting hard. You end up hating everyone and everything, including yourself, just because you miss them so much. You might get mad at them for dying, or get pissed at some random stranger just because they have the same eye color as the person you lost. This stage lasts a bit longer, and honestly, there's no set rule for how long it takes—it's whatever the person needs. If it takes five months, fine, let it be five months. Of course, the feelings are way more intense and overwhelming at first, before eventually transitioning into...

3. The Recovery Phase—this is where you actually start moving forward with your life, handling all your responsibilities and stuff. Now, here's the thing: it'd be pretty great if those first two phases didn't drag on for ten years! But this third phase? That could easily last twenty. You can function totally normally, but that initial grief might still pop up during anniversaries or big milestones. Like, say my daughter is getting married, and my husband always used to talk about how much he wanted to see her walk down the aisle, but since he's gone, 🙂 Basically, you're just looking for new ways to find purpose and live your life without that person by your side.
( R. Schulz is the author—but this is just my take on it 😁 )

Anyway, my two cents... I actually think Schulc is a pretty smart guy. Cry as much as you need to, but there has to be a limit. I mean, look at someone with OCD who feels the need to wash their hands constantly—that's definitely not healthy. It's the same deal here. At some point, you just have to keep living.

I haven't really had the chance to go through a full grieving process myself. I lost someone very dear to me a while back, but we actually had some friction before they passed. So, when it happened, it wasn't exactly a scene of "tears streaming down my face." Instead, I just think of them every now and then when something reminds me of them. I'll get this sudden little wave of sadness and think, "Man, I wish I could show her this." But hey, people pass away, life goes on. I'm still here, they aren't. Being alive is actually pretty awesome! It would be such a waste to be alive but acting like you're already dead. If I'm ever going to feel bad about dying, I'd feel worst about spending my whole life acting like a ghost, wouldn't I? 🙂

Jamie Scott2 said:First off, I gotta say that jealousy and envy are two totally different things, because from what I've been reading, you guys are totally mixing them up!

Well then, why don't you enlighten us?
Give us a solid definition for both jealousy and envy, maybe throw in some actual literature to back it up too
so we can all decide for ourselves which is which.
It's way too easy for you to act like the smartest person in the room like that.

Personally, though, it feels like the exact same thing to me... just playing out in different areas of life..
And honestly, they might not even be different at all. Like, I could be jealous because my bestie landed a better job, or I could be jealous because my boyfriend is flirting with someone else...

Gerald Clark2 said:Seriously though, isn't OCD basically just linked to suppressing sexual desires? (Asking for a friend, or if there are any actual psychologists hanging out here)

Nope. ( *Screw you, Freud 😬 seriously, let’s stop trying to shove sex into every single thing we talk about)
But hey, I'm not gonna go out on a limb and say I'm an expert or anything.
I really think things just get worse whenever life throws some major curveballs or stress our way.
So, if you're actually struggling because you aren't getting enough action—well, then congrats, you've got OCD, which is basically just your (definitely imperfect) way of trying to deal with anxiety, stress, or at the very least, those overwhelming feelings that you just don't know how to handle yet.

Seriously though... believe it or not, my hands are totally fine, even if they look this messy right now..
And honestly, it wasn't even really about me... it was about this one person who was being dead serious, trying to convince me that this whole thing is totally normal and that everyone (or at least most people) does it this way.. so I just sat there thinking... am I the Madwoman here, or is she?
But personally? I'm pretty sure I'm sane.
And get this... I actually am! 😬

Christian Castillo60 said:I’m seriously considering booking an appointment with a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but I think I’ll dive into a book first. That way, if it ends up being a total letdown, at least I’ll have picked up some theories and actually learned something about what’s going on in my head.

Honestly, she sounds like a total Madwoman—maybe we should just make them our official subforum sponsors or something! 😁

But hey, regarding that whole disappointment thing you mentioned...
I’ve honestly seen so many people go out of their way to research and educate themselves on certain topics, only to feel completely crushed once they actually sit down and digest the heavy-duty professional literature. It’s like people expect everything to be some magic fix, or they think a couple of therapy sessions or just a few deep sentences will solve their entire lives. Or, let's be real, sometimes people just aren't actually ready to face or accept the true root cause of why they're struggling in the first place.

So, if you do end up feeling disappointed, please don't assume it means the book is garbage or that the whole approach is totally wrong.

Honestly, what’s really getting under my skin here isn't just some one-off thing, but the fact that it feels like there are actually tons of people out there dealing with these kinds of issues—whether it's obsessive cleaning, total clutter struggles, or just straight-up germaphobia and anxiety about infections.

And don't even get me started on the commercials! It’s just endless, non-stop ads for cleaning products everywhere you look... telling us that bacteria are lurking in every single corner of our lives, practically staring us in the face from our phone screens and...🙄

Saying this stuff lasts for six hours is a total joke... though it makes for a decent placebo 😬 which I totally just messed up myself..

I mean, maybe it works for six hours if you slather it on and then just leave it completely alone..

Christian Castillo60 is definitely our resident expert here.

Look, I could try giving you advice to stop washing your hands so much, but honestly, that’s useless advice (kind of like telling someone with depression, "hey, just don't be sad"). You already know that yourself (and the fact that you even realize it is actually a really good sign that there's still hope for you 😁 ))

just a little 😉

gentlepanther10 said:Oh, honestly, that doesn't even bother me, I don't even give it a second thought...

Plus, I actually know this one guy who is super obsessive about washing his hands both before and after he hits the restroom.

But hey, being careful isn't even that weird, right?
Like, I could spend my whole day running errands all over town, touching everything under the sun, and then suddenly have to get intimate with a guy—touching some pretty sensitive areas—with hands that aren't exactly spotless!

I feel like it's just way easier for us women, you know? I mean, I don't have to deal with the whole "unwrapping" and maneuvering process myself.
So yeah, I totally get where he's coming from!😁

Yeah... honestly, that's pretty much what I was thinking too! 🙂
Thanks so much, everyone!

cuca said:It really all depends on what kind of dirty we're talking about here!
If they're just dirty from work—like, say, if someone works as a Mechanic—then honestly, it’s totally unavoidable and there’s nothing the person can even do about it.
But if their hands are gross, like with black fingernails and everything feeling sticky because they haven't bothered to wash up in two days? Then yeah, absolutely!
If I have to deal with someone whose dirt is unavoidable, I’m definitely going to be looking for any excuse to wash my own hands immediately. Honestly, I haven't actually run into anyone like that yet, but I don't know those types of people and I am certainly not shaking hands with them.

Oh, I don't mean *that* kind of dirty... just regular, everyday, average person hands... like yours, mine, his, everyone's... I'm not talking about someone who just finished digging through mud and needs a scrub, that's common sense. Basic etiquette says you shouldn't shake hands with someone in that state, end of story.
What I mean is just those normal, everyday situations, you know? Like meeting someone for the first time, or greeting an old friend you haven't seen in ages, where people generally just have more or less clean hands. I think it's fair to assume that if you bump into someone on the street, their hands aren't exactly pristine like they just stepped out of a spa. I mean, who knows where they've been or what they've been doing—riding the subway, tying their sneakers, handling cash and stuff like that.

Honestly, it’s everything from gripping those metal handrails on the subway to using any public restroom that isn't my own at home—just touching random surfaces or anything else, plus there are so many other people out there doing the exact same thing 🙂
dealing with depression and anxiety (or just stuff like that, even if it hasn't been officially diagnosed yet 🙂 ) without having OCD

This topic kind of hits two different spots at once... psychology and health.

I’m leaning toward psychology because I feel like it might be tied to some weird mental hang-ups, but then there's the health side since, honestly, I might just be overthinking things...

Does anyone else get totally grossed out by shaking hands (like when you're meeting someone new and all) with people who are—well, let's face it—mostly strangers?
Do you find yourself spiraling about how clean their hands actually are? Like, wondering where they've been or what they were doing right before they forced you into this awkward situation where you absolutely have to shake their hand?
😕

Oh please, it’s not like I’m totally helpless here... obviously I’m gonna go pick my sister's brain for some advice, so she can be the one to deal with the doctor if she wants to get all worked up about it.

But hey, let me brag for a second... honestly, this is actually one of her better attempts... she’s definitely had some legendary fails in the past, but even this one is pretty much illegible (if you don't already know exactly what on earth it's supposed to say).http://img48.imageshack.us/my.php?image=recept26nu.gif

Hey, could someone please scan this prescription for me? If you can just figure out what it actually says, maybe I can send you over to pick it up since my aunt can't make heads or tails of the handwriting..
I’m honestly too terrified to ask the doctor herself... I feel like she might totally lose it on me if I bring it up.

I was just gonna say, I know this one super arrogant, stuck-up doctor who thinks that just because she "finished med school" gives her a free pass to write like absolute gibberish. And because of that exact same ego trip, she gets all pissed off at anyone brave enough to mention how unreadable it is.
To be totally honest, I've encountered way more cocky, "we're better than everyone else" types from big Ivy League schools than I ever have from actual doctors.

@left here: why don't you go insult your own mom or your pet instead.