Look, I think you really need to take the advice everyone else has already given you—just join a club or something. Honestly, even if it's just hitting up a local gym, at least there you might actually find some common ground with people. There's always a crowd of guys hanging around those places, so it’s an easy way to break the ice.
Same goes for that school "clique" of yours. If I were you, I’d try to strike up a conversation with just one person from that group first—you know, start with something totally random or trivial and just see where it leads. If you click—meaning, if that one person realizes you're actually a decent guy—believe me, things will eventually smooth out with the rest of them... though, if I'm being totally honest, I wouldn't even bother forcing myself into a social circle if it's obvious they don't want you there or if they're just being jealous... seriously, screw them!
And hey, don't forget about the internet. I don't know what part of the States you're in, but through chats or forums, you can meet all kinds of new people, and who knows, maybe some of them are even living in your neck of the woods...
I’m incredibly pale—think more along the lines of Nicole Kidman—and honestly, I’m totally fine with that in a sea of girls trying way too hard to look tan. I never hit the beach under the midday sun and I stay far away from tanning beds... I actually get complimented on my complexion all the time, so if I have any advice, it's just to embrace who you are instead of trying to blend in with the crowd!
I was reading somewhere that we’re always drawn to people who reflect how we see ourselves... I mean, I don't know if there's any actual truth to that, maybe? Just one of those things you wonder about sometimes...
Look, I love my kid more than anything in this world—seriously, he’s my everything—but I’ve started noticing something pretty weird lately. From the very beginning, the way I act toward him is night and day compared to how my parents treated me. Don't get me wrong, my parents were great—genuinely wonderful people—but we just didn't do the whole "mushy" thing. There were no big declarations of love every five minutes, no constant hugging or squeezing... you know? We just knew the love was there; they showed it through their actions instead of being all over me with affection. They definitely weren't constantly making a scene about how much they loved me, and honestly, they weren't like that with my brother either! But now, with my son... man, it's like I'm a completely different person. I am constantly telling him he's the best thing that ever happened to me, I'm always kissing him, I just absolutely adore the little guy. It’s such a trip realizing how much my parenting style has shifted from what I grew up with.
stik said:After last night’s depressing topic, today feels even heavier... I honestly can't see the point of any of this. My childhood was incredible—not like I was living in some massive mansion like most kids back then, but I was happy with the little things, and I was surrounded by genuinely good people. My grandparents were amazing, especially my mom, and my dad—who's passed on now—was basically a whole different world to me, though he was rarely home because of the nature of his job... High school was a breeze, and then—boom—everything just falls apart. The turn of the millennium... that infamous year 2000. I couldn't find a job through 2001, so I enrolled in college. It's almost 2007 now... I've been a "super senior" for two years already, and I can't even bring myself to crack a book to finally wrap this thing up (and please, don't give me that "a degree is just paper but it opens doors" lecture). Ever since I turned eighteen, I've been grinding manual labor jobs from sunrise to sunset just so I don't have to beg my folks for cash—that's just humiliating. The company hiring me for these gigs keeps me on for eight months and then conveniently lets me go, only to call me back four months later because they "need me again." I'm 26. My love life over the last few years has been a total zero; I'm completely uninterested. I actually blew off three people from my group last night for no real reason. Everything feels pessimistic and... ugh, I don't even want to write more because I feel like I'm slipping into a dark headspace. Go ahead, roast me, yell at me, whatever you want—just say something... 👎
It seems like more and more people are feeling this way lately. But for me, whenever I fall into this kind of mood, my conscience starts eating me alive. I feel ungrateful, selfish, spoiled—because at the end of the day, health is what matters most, and there's no sense in moping over every little setback. Besides, isn't the whole point of life... just finding joy in those tiny little things?
jigsaw said:you aren't alone. it all feels like this psychological state has just become some kind of mainstream trend in modern society. unfortunately... well, what can I say to you as someone who has spent most of my life overthinking everything—sorry if that's a blunt way to put it—to the point where I've reached a stage where I can relativize absolutely everything. everything. I mean, if I start by relativizing the very concept of existence itself (which I do quite often), then how much importance do people, emotions, the world, lofty noble goals, various theories, and all those things people build their dreams—and usually their entire lives—upon actually hold? A person needs some kind of goal in life. That seems pretty obvious to me. It’s just... one day I’ll set a goal for myself, and the next day I’ll tear it to shreds, because I’m capable of dissecting anything with a bit of analytical surgery. My value system fluctuates on a daily basis. Ethics, morality, you name it... Education? Honestly, I finished school mostly for other people—I can admit that now. Not because anyone was forcing my hand, but because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and education is just a nicely packaged, legal way to mask your own insecurities. Credit to those who knew what they wanted from the start and stayed on track without wavering. I did it "for others" because it’s considered "good" to graduate, get the degree, and have the piece of paper. It brings "security" later in life. "Later"??? And that’s where the relativization kicks in... we treat time as if it's guaranteed. Time is something we take for granted, something we don't really think about. It's normal for little kids in preschool to be asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Growing up is treated as a certainty. But why? Isn't it possible for that kid to get hit by a bus? Or die from bacterial meningitis? Or get caught in the crossfire of some random passerby celebrating a sports victory with an illegal handgun left over from some old conflict? etc... No one—absolutely no one—ever tells us in life, "Hey, nothing in life is certain. Just enjoy what you have right now. This exact moment. This sunset. This warmth. This breeze carrying the scent of wildflowers. This sand tickling your feet as you walk. The softness of the hand you're holding. The endless depth in the eyes of the girl walking beside you." Nobody tells you that. Everyone is just looking ahead, like horses harnessed to a plow, racing toward graduation day. Meeting the love of their life. Getting married. Having kids. Buying a house on the outskirts of a suburb near a small river and a forest. Then they'll solve their mid-life crisis by buying a new Porsche, or they'll try to become the next Michael Jordan, or LeBron, or Schumacher, basking in the glory and the envy of everyone else. They're all just dreams. We spend way too much of our lives dreaming instead of walking with our eyes wide open. And yet, when I look at humans as beings dependent on just a few senses... what are we? What is actually real? What even matters? Is that sunset, that breeze, that scent just our brain's "response" to external stimuli? Is my excitement while holding a girl's hand just a continuation of some uncontrolled instinct to propagate the species? How can you not think that we are nothing more than simple puppets being manipulated by someone or something... and we don't even realize it, but we are perfectly capable of "explaining" it away just so we can feel better about ourselves and keep going through another day, and another, and another... And the society around us... it's a damn machine that has outgrown us all, and we don't even notice. We're just cogs. Disposable. Replaceable. And honestly, it's all so exhausting that I'm slowly losing the will to keep up. I lie down in bed, turn off the lights, put on some music, keep it quiet, and slide into another restless night.
I mean, I’ve dealt with my fair share of personal attacks too, so why are we even acting surprised when people act out?...... Just look at this pre-holiday madness—it’s unreal. I was sitting in a Starbucks yesterday just watching the crowd, and honestly, everyone is just sprinting around, buying stuff left and right, but you don't see a single genuine smile. It’s not even that they’re angry, per se, they’re just... stuck up. And why? Because they feel the need to blow their entire paycheck on the holidays, right? It doesn't matter if you actually have the money or not—what matters is making sure everyone *thinks* you do. You know, that whole "wow, look at me" vibe, trying to force people to respect you or like you based on some fancy gadgets or designer labels...........
Honestly, this whole consumerist culture makes me sick. It feels like more and more people are acting more like animals than actual humans. Everyone is putting on this massive act, pretending to be something they are miles away from being, so it’s no wonder they end up so frustrated. Then, when you happen to cross paths with one of these types, they snap at you like you personally attacked them—and there you are, just minding your own business, walking your dog...........
I’m feeling completely unmotivated lately—which is weird because I don't really have a reason to be—so now I'm just sitting here letting the guilt eat at me!
I’ve started other threads before, but none of them felt this personal—not like this. Looking back at what I wrote now... I honestly don't know what I was thinking, like, where was my head at? 😉
But whatever, it doesn't really matter now... thanks for all the support.....
Girl, you're crazy—just write whatever you want. Nobody here actually knows who you are anyway, right? So just don't sweat what people think about your posts. As long as you're feeling okay, that's all that matters!
Jason Sanchez3 said:I just wrote down what I actually think—human stupidity and pure ignorance drive me crazy...
It’s nice of you to take my side... honestly, I didn't write that post to boost my own ego or anything. It was more of a moment of weakness, and now I'm sitting here feeling pretty crappy about it—I wish there was a button to just delete the whole thing......
Don't get worked up over nothing. If writing that helped you vent and feel better afterward, then it was worth it. That's why these forums exist anyway—it isn't some courtroom where everyone has to argue over who's right or wrong about every little thing.
Seriously, don't let it get to you. Just think about it—none of this drama matters once you're gone anyway.
And now you're coming after her—seriously, what is even the point of this forum if we're just going to do this?
She shared her take, and that's perfectly fine. Whether or not you actually agree with her isn't the issue here—it’s about the fact that you should be able to just state your own opinion and leave it at that.
Sure, but it’s more than just that—I’m constantly overthinking ways I can step up and help people. Honestly? It’s a mix of genuine empathy and a bit of selfishness, too—because, let’s be real, I feel a lot better about myself when I know I’m not just sitting around on my hands while someone else is struggling through it.
Look, I’m telling you—it’s seeing someone else hurting that actually gets to me. It hits harder than anything anyone could ever do to me personally. I don't know, maybe I just have too much empathy or something... I always seem to find more room in my heart for other people's struggles and their messes than I do for my own.
Look, I’m not attacking you—it’s totally fine to share what’s on your mind, really. But you know as well as I do that we don't all have to be carbon copies of one another, thinking exactly the same way.
I definitely saw myself in what you were saying... mostly because I think I might actually be *too* empathetic—to the point where it honestly feels like it borders on a clinical issue at this point.
little_devil said:I don't know if anyone will actually get this, or believe it, or if there are even other people out there like me—honestly, I really hope there are because I could use some advice... Growing up, I felt everything—like, the whole world. I wasn't your typical kid; I didn't really follow the rules or care about what the majority was doing. I never mocked other kids, I was just... different. Eventually, I realized I had this incredibly sharp intuition and high intelligence—my brain just connects dots and processes information way faster than most people. At any given moment, I can look at a problem from five different angles and pick out the one that’s actually realistic, regardless of how others see it... I never had a huge circle of friends. Crowds weren't my thing. People didn't always take to me because I tend to be brutally honest, and let's face it, most people are kind of terrified of the truth. I used to be pretty withdrawn and shy... but when I hit 16, I decided to completely reinvent myself—physically, personality-wise—because I wanted to be strong and magnetic. Through a lot of hard work, I did it. I built myself into a complete person. Since I was 16, I've been observing people, analyzing them, and I've sharpened that intuition and that ability to process data even further... but now I've hit this critical turning point in my life...
I've become hyper-sensitive to other people's pain and emotions. I can feel the vibe of whoever is standing next to me; I sense the energy they're putting off, and on top of that, I can read non-verbal cues perfectly. When I'm with someone—and this applies to everyone, but especially my partner—I find it impossible to hurt them, to be selfish, or to be irrational. I can't say the wrong thing because I already know exactly how they'll feel; I can't make a mistake because I'm too aware of all their fears. I can't just be a flawed human being... 😢 because, honestly, in a very short amount of time, I end up knowing a person better than they know themselves...
I'm also quite good at manipulating people—which is great for certain career paths—but I'm fundamentally an honest person and rarely ever use that skill...
Sometimes I'll burst into tears reading a news article because I can actually feel the grief in the story, yet on the flip side, I stay completely cold toward any kind of exaggeration or fake emotion... anything that feels unrealistic...
There are moments where I feel like a robot. My brain is constantly bombarded by emotions and data points—it's just processing, processing, processing. I often finish people's sentences before they even get through them. I remember every single word someone told me, every word I said, the exact location where the conversation happened, and the specific emotions present and how everyone reacted...
Sometimes it's amazing, but other times... I just wish it would stop 😢 because I feel like I'm going to lose my mind...
I'm genuinely curious to hear your thoughts and experiences...
Personally, I wouldn't overthink the mystery of it all. There are plenty of us who feel things deeply—sensing injustices or getting choked up over a headline in the New York Times... but I'd just call it extreme empathy. Whether it's feeling upset or angry about an event that has nothing to do with me or anyone I love, I attribute it to that empathy. And truthfully, sometimes I feel like I might break under the weight of it, because I often find myself more consumed by other people's struggles and problems than my own.🙂
Natch said:I mean, I agree—confidence is everything. And honestly? People who grew up getting tons of affection and love tend to walk through life with way more self-assurance.
🤣 Maybe at first glance, sure—but once they actually open their mouth and realize there’s nothing halfway decent coming out, they can just take all that physical beauty and go audition for Miss USA or something instead!
It’s easy to play philosopher when you’re sitting on the sidelines, but once you’re actually stuck in the middle of it—when you don't have the energy to care about anyone's advice or even crack open one of those self-help books—it all feels pretty useless. You can't force yourself to read or listen when you're just... empty. Honestly, you just end up waiting for morning, hoping you'll wake up feeling a little less heavy, praying your hormones finally decide to cooperate—because let's be real, biology plays a massive role in this, and there's no arguing with that fact. I mean, look, I appreciate all the pep talks and the people trying to lift my spirits, I really do, but when you're truly in the gutter, no amount of "positive thinking" is going to pull you out until you manage to sort through the absolute mess inside your own head first.