Posts by hiddenhawk3

Kimberly Smith6 said:Why is there such a massive bias toward kids from prep schools?
Well, it’s simply because you can't just wander into a high-end preparatory academy; you need an GPA hovering somewhere between a 4.5 and a perfect 5.0!
And of course, almost every teacher in our elementary schools graduated from those same elite academies and went on to prestigious universities, which leads to this constant, repetitive conditioning where they tell the children that a kid with a 5.0 is some kind of genius. Meanwhile, if a student falls even slightly below that 4.5 mark, they are practically invisible, receiving absolutely zero recognition or praise. It reminds me of how most famous authors came from that same academic track—and we all know the unspoken social hierarchy regarding writers who merely read the classics for a grade versus those who actually live them!

At least in my old elementary school, things worked exactly like that; any student who managed to finish with a 5.0 would be called up in front of the whole class to receive a formal certificate, along with flowers and various little gifts. To me, it felt like pure brainwashing for the rest of the students who didn't hit that 5.0 mark, essentially drilling into their heads that only the "perfect" student is smart. It sends this heavy, indirect message to everyone else that they are somehow dim-witted just because they didn't get a fancy piece of paper or a public shout-out!

Now, look at my own situation—I graduated from a vocational high school and I am currently attending a technical university, and let me tell you, seeing those prep school graduates walk into a technical college lab is quite the sight to behold.
Those prep school kids stare at the lab equipment like newborn calves staring at a colorful gate, and they almost always try to sit next to the students who came from vocational backgrounds just to ride their coattails and scrape by with a passing grade.
Because when they see an oscilloscope, a multimeter, or a voltmeter for the first time—not to mention resistors, chips, or capacitors—they honestly just stand there asking, "Wait, what is this? What does this thing do?"
They have a thousand questions about how to connect a single wire, whereas the students who spent four years in vocational training just look at them and say, "How do you not know this? It's this, it's that," and then they assemble the entire circuit perfectly in a minute because they've been practicing the exact same material consistently for four straight years.
In contrast, a prep school student is expected to cram that entire four-year vocational curriculum into a single semester lasting maybe three or four months!
So, I really want someone to explain to me how a student from that background can possibly be a high-quality professional when they've only touched the material for a few months—and that's not even counting the time they spend cramming for exams. How can they compete with someone who has been absorbing and repeating that knowledge steadily over a four-year period?

It ultimately results in a situation where even the lowest-performing student from a vocational school ends up being far more capable than a prep school graduate when it comes to actual, practical expertise.

You've got a point. You're basically saying a prep school kid has to cram three years of vocational training into three months at college.😍

Prep schools are pretty useless, I suppose.

coastalhound58 said:Personally, I don't judge, nor do I ever place myself in a subordinate position!
Don't generalize like that! Your two little anecdotes aren't exactly a sufficient sample size to draw such a broad conclusion.
For instance, I don't treat someone any differently just because they have a degree from an Ivy League school versus someone who doesn't.
One really needs to actually get to know a person before forming a judgment, and what you're describing here is, at the very least...😂
...neither a choice of high school nor a college degree tells you absolutely anything about a person's actual intellect.

This topic seems more suited for teenagers! I suspect it doesn't really belong here.

Look, even if most straight-A students come from prep schools, those same kids end up in programs like med school, where the entrance exams are brutal and spots are limited. You're telling me that doesn't say anything about their brainpower? 🤷(Or maybe they're just stubborn as hell)

Is your average med student actually smarter than an average student in some other field?🤷
Or someone who finishes a math or engineering degree on time with decent grades... I doubt that says nothing about their abilities. 😁

Thomas Wilson4 said:Man, I gotta tell you, back in my day, being in a standard track class meant we were basically following the exact same math curriculum as those honors kids. It was all the same stuff. The only real difference was how much of our lives we spent staring at equations—we’d get maybe three hours of math a week, while they’d get four... or maybe it was the other way around, honestly, I can't even remember anymore. Everything just blurs together after a while. 🤔 Most of them actually had an extra hour of class compared to us, too. Plus, our teacher was some heavy hitter from a top-tier prep school in Chicago. 😉

Honestly, I can't even deal. I don't think I've ever heard anything quite that brainless in my entire life. 😳 So, I cruised through elementary school with a perfect 4.0, pulled a solid 3.8 or so in high school, and now I’m finally wrapping up my degree... and apparently, all that hard work was only possible because my parents have deep pockets? Are you kidding me? Give me a break.

It was the exact same deal back in my day 😁 there were about ten of us who pulled off straight A's all through middle school. We got certificates, bouquets, a set of ten books we actually got to pick out ourselves, and $267 some extra cash added to our savings accounts 😁 That was the payoff for grinding it out for those eight years. Look, if someone else didn't put in the work... that's on them, not us, and definitely not on the school. Everyone had the same shot; if forty kids had pulled straight A's, they would’ve all gotten the same loot 😳

And regarding getting into high school... when I was applying, you couldn't even get in if your GPA was under a 4.8. From what I hear, things have gone downhill since then 😁 there are tons of kids out there barely scraping by with maybe 60 points max based on their grades

Look, maybe try learning how to actually read what people are saying.
High schoolers are mostly just kids from wealthy families who know they’ll be able to afford tuition for at least another five or seven years after they turn eighteen. Plus, if you aren't living in a major hub like NYC or LA, you basically need a massive bank account just to get an education.😍🤷
I don't really see the point of this whole thread, other than just bragging about grades and GPAs. 🤷
As for the topic itself, I don't think anyone views high schoolers any differently, except maybe they act a little too full of themselves ☕ and older folks might have had it easier before the economy tanked. 🙂

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/interview-high-schooler/

so much for those high school geniuses ☕ 😍

Thomas Wilson4 said:So, I finished high school too. Every time someone asks what kind of school I went to and I say "traditional prep school," they always give me that look, like "ohhh, a 😁 type." It’s the same story at the train station—I was lugging around my backpack, met this guy, and when he asked where I studied and I told him it was a classic prep academy, he just goes, "Whoa, so you're one of those smart ones..."

Honestly, that was basically my entire four-year experience. Same deal in college during freshman year, too... professors would constantly grill us about which high schools we came from. You could actually see the difference in how they treated us; they definitely had a different vibe for the kids coming out of the prep schools. 🤷

The hardest one is probably specialized STEM academies, ☕, where all the smart kids end up.

Daniel Moore3 said:Absolutely nothing? So what, you think some guy with a PhD is somehow less intelligent than a guy working a blue-collar job on a construction site?!
This whole nonsense idea—that college grads are clueless and tradespeople are geniuses—has infected every corner of society. Seriously, get over it!

Pathetic. ☕

I guess high school kids seem smart mostly because they actually have the option to stay in school. They usually have parents with enough money to make sure they aren't working full-time jobs right after turning eighteen. And saying a grad without a degree is worse than some smart mechanic is a stretch.☕

Besides, degrees vary wildly. It really just depends on what you studied. 😍

Thomas Wilson4 said:hmm... I don't know about that. I was pulling that kind of heavy lifting for four straight years, whereas they only have to deal with it for maybe three or four months. 😉

I guess you missed the point... maybe that's why people don't hang out with high school grads; you guys can be a bit much and way too full of yourselves.

The point is, once you're at college, everyone's on equal footing. It doesn't matter where you came from. That doesn't guarantee anything, really, if you aren't still putting in the work. ☕

Thomas Wilson4 said:So, I finished high school too. Every time someone asks what kind of school I went to and I say "traditional prep school," they always give me that look, like "ohhh, a 😁 type." It’s the same story at the train station—I was lugging around my backpack, met this guy, and when he asked where I studied and I told him it was a classic prep academy, he just goes, "Whoa, so you're one of those smart ones..."

Honestly, that was basically my entire four-year experience. Same deal in college during freshman year, too... professors would constantly grill us about which high schools we came from. You could actually see the difference in how they treated us; they definitely had a different vibe for the kids coming out of the prep schools. 🤷

I guess you have to consider that kids coming from vocational schools have to work way harder just to get into the same universities as the prep school crowd. I probably wouldn't underestimate a colleague like that, personally.😁

Edward Murphy4 said:Look, I finished both high school and college—which people love to call "nerdy"—so I definitely know the difference between a total geek (some idiot who just memorizes things to pass a test and forgets it instantly) and a genuine intellectual who actually enjoys learning stuff.

"enjoys learning" 🤷, is that some kind of oxymoron or something?
even the Bible says you'll earn your bread through toil and sweat 🤣
it's funny how being an intellectual is tied to having a degree😕, I always thought it was a job, like being a baker, a butcher, or a shopkeeper 🙂 🤣

Edward Murphy4 said:Exactly.
But calling someone a nerd is an insult—it’s not some badge of honor people wear, and nobody is actually looking up to them or acting superior because of it.🤷

I guess you're right. It probably should be a priority.
So, I guess people who actually put in the effort and have decent work ethic are just pathetic now. Maybe that's how it works.
People who actually try to get things done are just pathetic, I guess. Maybe.
So, according to your logic, thieves are actually cool—especially if they’re charming enough, smart enough, or just well-connected enough to dodge the cops. I guess. ☕

It feels like people just want to trash anything that isn't a product of pure intelligence—though, I guess we still don't even have a real definition for what that actually means. ☕It’s more like eating, I guess. It might happen, but who knows. 😍

I don't really get the point of this thread, other than the author trying to flex their intellect 🤷

fadedbison282 said:It all comes down to confidence, really. You hear people peddling this nonsense like, "High school is tough, not everyone can hack it," implying that if you didn't go the prep school route, you're somehow less capable or missed out on the "real" knowledge. Personally, I don't give a damn about what degree someone holds or what kind of school they attended. I’ve seen straight-A students choose to go into trade schools because they actually enjoy the work, not because they aren't smart enough for academics. It's simple: those kids are mastering specific, high-level skills while the prep school crowd just skims the surface of a dozen different subjects. To me, there’s no such thing as a "smart" person or a "dumb" person. It’s all about how you carry yourself and how you view your own education. Some people just don't have the drive to sit behind a desk all day, or maybe they struggle to focus. Does that make them any less important? Not even close. In fact, they'll usually outclass you in something else. 🙂 These prejudices are just a byproduct of how people were raised.

Yeah, sure. That high schooler who's just memorizing stuff to get an A 😍or whatever else to look good is pretty shallow and doesn't actually know anything. 😍

nimblerider21 said:This whole discussion is actually pretty interesting because it takes me back to when I decided to drop out of college. To be honest, part of the reason was just that I was hungry for actual knowledge, but all I felt like I was getting from those lecture halls was
pure brainwashing. So, instead, I just went rogue and started teaching myself everything I could possibly find—I’ve actually gone through about 1,500 books on my own over the years
. But man, looking back at it now, there’s definitely a part of me that regrets not just sticking it out and getting that degree. I know I’d probably have a lot more money in the bank right now, and honestly, it would be nice to hang out with
people who can actually hold a deep conversation or dive into complex topics. Because of how things went, I ended up just being a high school grad, and I've always dealt with that nagging prejudice that I’m "not smart enough"
. Looking back, maybe I should have just met in the middle and finished my studies, so if you're sitting there on the fence, I’d say maybe consider making that compromise
.

🙄

Next time try studying instead of just reading. 😁
Yeah, it seems like people with degrees are the ones who know how to talk about anything. 🙄

High school kids can be pretty full of themselves sometimes.
Yeah, prep schools are tough, but there's nothing special about them compared to other high schools. You find smart people everywhere. 🤷
I don't really get why you think your classmates would look at you as "superior" just because they didn't go to a prep school.😕
And I guess older people just look at you more favorably because they're old.😁🤷

As for what Edward Murphy4 said—that education isn't the same thing as being highly intelligent—I don't know, maybe she's partly right, maybe not. To me, an education just proves you have grit, a desire to learn, discipline, and the ability to actually finish something.

Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, let me take this step by step... I agree with your point about that "extra drop" (to put it politely). 🙂
Before him, I was lonely, sure, but I didn't view everyone I met through a lens of suspicion, wondering if they just wanted to use me. Now, whenever someone calls, my internal alarm immediately goes off—asking what this person wants from me and anticipating that once I've "served my purpose," they'll just toss me aside without a second thought (pardon my language). I wasn't like this before. Since him, I see people as nothing more than opportunists.

As for what would need to happen to change things... I honestly have no idea, and that's exactly the core of the problem. Just last weekend, I spent time with a guy I was incredibly into until that very moment. Suddenly, it hit me that he wasn't "him," and now I'm just not that interested anymore—even though, objectively speaking, he's a wonderful person. I realize I'm searching for traces of my ex in everyone else, and it's exhausting. I don't know how to stop doing that! Maybe that's why I need to hear about others' experiences, just so I feel less alone in all this chaos. 😁

Regarding other people, I don't want to burden anyone else with this anymore. I'm trying to maintain the illusion that I've moved past it, even though I haven't. That's really why I started this thread on the forum.
Thanks for the response 🙂 ...if you have any personal experience with this, please feel free to share. 😁

Oh, so you think every new person you meet is obligated to be your best friend forever, huh? 🤔
Were you even actually dating him, or was it just some random month-long thing?

Quote:

What would it even take to change things? I don't know, and maybe that's the whole issue. Last weekend, I spent time with this guy I was really into, but then it just clicked that he wasn't him, and suddenly the spark was gone. He's actually a decent guy, honestly. I think I'm just hunting for traces of him in everyone else, and it's exhausting. I have no idea how to stop doing that!. Maybe that's why I need to hear from other people—just to feel less alone in all this mess.😁

You're chasing his ghost in other people after he already made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you.🤔

Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, there are a few things on my mind... I’d love to hear some experiences or maybe get an opinion from someone who actually understands human psychology regarding what I’m going through right now.

About a year ago, I fell for this guy, and honestly, he absolutely wrecked me. At first, the relationship was full of these incredible, beautiful moments, but then he just abruptly pulled away. Once I realized something was off, I tried to sit him down and talk about us, but he just turned it around on me, claiming I was "creating problems where none existed." It started with him being distant, dodging hangouts, and basically ghosting my attempts at connection—until I realized I was the only one making any effort while he acted like everything was perfectly fine. We actually broke up for a full month, which was pure agony for me because I had become emotionally dependent on him, while he just kept retreating. He didn't even have the backbone to tell me to my face that he wanted out. To be fair, neither did I. I just couldn't wrap my head around why this was happening. One day we were great, and the next, it was a completely different story.

Eventually, things ended for good, and I spiraled into a total funk. I neglected my classes at NYU, pushed my friends away, and forced myself to go out when I really just wanted to crawl into a hole. I wasn't myself anymore. My friends would get frustrated with me, asking why I was acting this way, but I just couldn't help it.
In the meantime, I didn't try to get close to anyone else because I missed him too much, and frankly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. And I have to admit, there were plenty of wonderful people around me.
I totally put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—it took me a whole year to see it clearly—but still...

I remember talking to a friend back then who told me that at our age (26), almost everyone has one story like this in their past. And looking around, it seems true; nearly everyone I know has dealt with a similar kind of "trauma." I have a friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who would leave her and only come crawling back whenever he needed something, and she just wasn't strong enough to end it.

So now I’m wondering—why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he isn't what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I'll never truly get over this?
The truth is, I can see how much he changed me, and unfortunately, not for the better. How do you move past that?

I’d love to hear about your own experiences after your "traumas"... How long did it take you to recover and get back on your feet? How did it change you? And were you actually able to build healthy, quality relationships with someone else afterward?

I’d ask the moderators to please keep this thread from moving to the venting or US boards, and sorry if this post feels a bit scattered. I’m not exactly feeling 😢

I guess everyone on some random internet forum thinks they’re a PhD in psychology and human behavior.

About a year ago, I fell for this guy and he absolutely wrecked me. The relationship started out with such beautiful moments, but then he just suddenly pulled away.

Well, that's just life, I suppose. It's nice while it lasts. You can't really force someone to tell you why they've checked out.

I realized something was off and tried to talk about us, but he just snapped at me for making problems where there weren't any. It started with him not responding, avoiding me, and all that—until I realized I was the only one constantly reaching out, while he acted like nothing was even happening.

So, clearly he wasn't that into you.

We were broken up for a full month, which was agonizing for me because I was emotionally dependent on him, and he just kept dodging everything. Honestly, he didn't have the guts to look me in the eye and say he wanted to end it. I didn't have the strength either. I just couldn't wrap my head around the problem. Everything was fine yesterday, and today it's a completely different story.

I mean, maybe you thought you were breaking up with him for a month, but he probably checked out long before that, or he just wasn't as invested as you were.

Anyway, it finally ended, and after that, I just spiraled. I neglected my classes, my friends... I forced myself to go out when I really didn't want to. I became a different person. My friends got frustrated with how I was acting, but I just couldn't help it.

See, that's the mistake right there—letting your whole life fall apart over some guy who doesn't even deserve you. It's weird to me how women still let themselves get put in this position. I guess you should hold back more in new relationships so you don't end up being used like this.

I haven't really gotten close to anyone else in the meantime. I just missed him too much, and honestly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. Though, I guess there were some pretty great people around, if I'm being fair.
I completely put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—a whole year later, but still... I guess I just didn't see things for what they were.

The upside to men is that they’re basically replaceable. There are just so many of them out there. I think some people get way too caught up in this whole fatalism thing—chasing after guys who act all cold and distant like they’re some brooding James Dean archetype. You end up falling hard, and then he just keeps you on a leash. Honestly, the more you put someone on a pedestal, the more arrogant they get about being "irreplaceable." You over-idealize them, and they pick up on that immediately. You end up looking desperate, while he just sits there thinking he’s some big shot because another girl is chasing him around. 😁

Patrick Alvarez20 said:

I was talking to a friend once who told me that by the time we hit our mid-twenties, everyone pretty much has that one specific story to tell. And honestly, looking around, it seems like almost everyone I know has dealt with some kind of similar trauma. I have this one friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who’d just ditch her whenever he felt like it and then crawl back when things got rough—she just wasn't strong enough to walk away. I guess that's just how it goes.

Well, here’s just more proof that women are basically a massive joke. I guess it's pretty obvious how easily men can manipulate them.

Patrick Alvarez20:

I guess I'm just wondering—why do we even do this? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he’s just not what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I’ll never actually get over it? Maybe it's just how things go. I don't know. I can see it's changed me, and probably not for the better. Maybe there's a way to accept that, I guess.

Just so she can start more stupid threads on some pointless forum to prove how much of a disaster she really is.
I mean, you basically let some guy change who you are. And now you're still giving him that much credit, acting like his influence on your life is actually worth debating. I guess. 😍🤣

Patrick Alvarez20 said:

So, I'm curious about everyone's experiences after their "traumas." How long did it actually take you guys to get back on your feet? I guess it's worth asking how it changed you, too. Like, were you even able to build anything meaningful with someone else afterward?

There's no point even talking about trauma. I guess it's better if those things just stay buried in the history books.
Honestly, I don't think this last question even makes sense. Why wouldn't someone be able to find a connection later on? Just because some guy played games or gave you the cold shoulder, I guess. 🤣
I guess anyone would be losing their mind if they let some old trauma define them for the rest of their lives. It feels like just giving up all your power, honestly. You're basically turning that thing into some kind of God, and I don't see why anyone would want that.

rapidtinker75 said:I'm curious about how to handle this control drama.
Take someone who’s emotionally stuck, for example—they just can't express what they're feeling or show when something is actually bothering them.
The way they exert control is through being secretive, almost like they're waiting for someone else to play detective and dig through their thoughts. How does a person deal with this from their own side, and how can someone else help them realize what's happening and work through it?

Maybe just shut it down before they drive you insane.
😁

If that theory actually held water, everyone would just end up picking identical partners and having the exact same relationships, which obviously isn't what happens in real life.
I guess that would mean we're all just predestined for certain things, maybe.

Angela Cox4 said:Honestly, I don't think it’s the loudmouths who finally snap—they've been venting all day, right? It’s always those quiet types, the ones who seem totally chill and collected for no apparent reason. They’re just sitting there, bottling up this massive, chaotic storm inside themselves, just waiting for the moment it all finally explodes.

I guess it's different for everyone when they finally hit their limit.
Everyone's got their own threshold, I suppose. 😍

Reading is just a way to torture us
What else would it be for? 🤷