Parents really only need to give their kids one thing... just one message about love... And I mean showing that love by how you handle problems—without all the fighting or violence, because honestly, that’s just the opposite of love. It's about respecting yourself and others, having actual self-belief... those are all just different ways love shows up...
But, I guess not everyone gets that "privilege." Maybe you have to go looking for the answers to those questions somewhere else... personally, I think if you have a family (the other kind, you know?), then you at least have a safe harbor... but when it comes to finding the answer to what love actually is, you have to find it within yourself... nobody else can really give you that answer.
casuallynx982 said:thanks.. just got back from the post office.. all I know is I can't expect anything, because then it just hurts even more.. I guess I probably need to grow up, which means facing reality, like how my mom is never going to be what I wanted her to be, or how I'll never own my own place, since, honestly, I can't afford to buy one on my own, and other stuff like that...
heaven is above you...
But you won't really know that while you're stuck wading through someone else's mess... or while you're busy trying to reach for it... So, honestly, you never truly know what good things might be waiting for you.
Cats, you should really bring back that avatar with the cleavage... I mean, it was actually pretty interesting, just so people don't think you're a guy... ☕
Kevin Wilson8 said:I’m asking for some input here because I’ve been spinning my wheels in this dilemma for way too long—I just don't know what to do. When you’ve always been the reliable one, but your parents hurt you and turn their backs right when you need them most, you still manage to pull through. But then, they just pop back up out of nowhere expecting you to take care of them and give them attention. And even then, they can’t stop criticizing everything you do. Despite all the effort I put in, deep down, I just can't forgive them. Whenever we meet up, it just turns into these heavy, negative situations again. If it were just about my own peace of mind, I would have ended this agony a long time ago, but there are grandkids involved, and my husband is pushing hard to keep this whole "happy family" facade going. Because of them, this situation drags on, and honestly, it’s wrecking my health. I wonder, how much crap are you actually supposed to swallow from your parents? When are you allowed to say—ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? Are you ever allowed to? How long are you supposed to be indebted to your parents for the good things they did? Family should mean safety, friendship, and support. In my case, it's the exact opposite. My mother runs the whole show, my father is totally indifferent—just glad he isn't the one being targeted—and no matter how much I try to distance myself, I always get caught in her orbit. I feel like an old, worn-out floor mat; someone who isn't even wanted, but is still there because they don't have anything better to use.
This is basically a textbook example of a lack of love. Real parental love is supposed to be altruistic, not selfish. That kind of love shouldn't demand gratitude... I mean, if you have kids, do you expect them to be forever indebted to you just because you gave birth to them and raised them? No, you don't... because why would you? You do it because you love them... plain and simple.
Besides, I think it's a parent's job to protect their kids from the negativity of the world, to be their "safe haven" while they're growing up... not the other way around—where kids have to deal with someone else's frustrations from the time they're little.
So where's the fix? Maybe everything people have said... tell them to go jump in a lake... or just tell them exactly how you feel without holding back... because there's probably a damn good reason you feel terrible whenever they're around. If the relationship is draining you, cut it off... You have to value yourself... and if there are people you can't be around because you value yourself, then those people don't need to be in your life anyway...
Your dad sounds like a classic example of a "non-father" to me. Just a pushover who hides his instinct to fight for or defend his family just to keep the peace at home... if I were a woman, I wouldn't even give a guy like that the time of day. He should be protecting you guys through every crisis, especially since fathers usually have that bond with their daughters—you should be his priority...
I used to be a total insomniac because of all that underground radiation... Yeah... I guess I just found myself lying there in the middle of the night, wondering why the hell I couldn't sleep... ☕
Look, I’m probably not the expert you need for something like this... but I did read somewhere that human mouths carry the same kind of bacteria found in Komodo dragons...
I think I dug up this data from some spreadsheets somewhere... though it’s based on a much shorter height than mine (I mean, I'm definitely not just 4'11")... but my point was that if you're doing average daily chores for about an hour, you end up burning more than 10% of your total daily calorie needs.
Ryan Lopez said:Are you talking about those Bushman types who just sit around doing nothing? 😕
I mean, look, an average American guy—standard build, maybe 5'11" and around 200 pounds—who’s busting his tail at work all day, and then if he actually wants to go out and hook up with someone later that night, there is no way he’s getting anything done on 1,400 or even 1,700 calories a day...
When I factor in hitting the gym, working a 12-hour shift, maybe some physical activity with a girlfriend, plus all the stress from work and home... yeah, on 1,400 calories, I can't even sleep properly...
Someone taller and heavier is obviously going to need more fuel... but I didn't even account for fitness or whatever, because I guess that doesn't count toward "average" caloric needs.
A quick 10-minute bike ride burns at least 90 calories. Just rolling around on a skateboard? That’s maybe 80 kCal for the same amount of time. Look, this isn't just some random trivia for girls, but if you do these things for 30 minutes, here's what you're burning:
Cleaning the house = 120 kCal Taking care of a kid = 120 kCal Chopping wood = 210 kCal Washing and waxing a car = 150 kCal Active sex = 85 kCal Pouring concrete = 240 kCal
So, I guess it's not actually the damn soda companies' fault, it's just that the vacuum cleaner broke down. 😈
You aren't even getting any fiber from orange juice... unless you're planning on chewing on the peel 😉
Fiber should really be coming from other sources—like whole grains or legumes, I guess...
Honestly, I think this idea that fruit juice is inherently bad is just some myth. Personally, there are other things I’d actually love to hear an expert weigh in on—like alkaline versus acidic foods, you know? The stuff that shifts your pH levels. Apparently, certain illnesses are supposed to stem from that sort of thing.
Daily calorie needs usually sit somewhere between 1300 and 1700 for guys, depending on height, I guess. A 100 ml serving of Juicy Fruit orange juice has about 43 kCal (or 180 kJ). Looking at the label, it's just water and concentrated orange juice. It's pasteurized and doesn't have sweeteners... I don't think there are any preservatives either.
An Aquafina orange, carrot, and lemon blend comes in at 51 kCal per 100 ml. The ingredients are water, a juice base (18% orange, 8% carrot, 4% lemon, sugar, lutein, 5% milk), plus stabilizers. Aside from those stabilizers, there aren't any preservatives.
So, if someone actually wanted to hit their total daily calorie goal just by drinking juice, they'd have to chug at least 3 liters every single day... personally, I like 🙂 fine, but I really can't imagine anyone actually drowning themselves in this stuff.
Look, man, I honestly think you just need to eat everything in sight... I mean, if you're actually putting in the work physically, nothing is going to stick anyway... but then again, if you aren't doing anything at all, every single gram is just going to stay on you...
Look, that’s what all those different inspections are for... health inspectors, food safety boards, the whole nine yards...
I don't get why everyone is freaking out over a basic glass of orange juice. I mean, even water can be bad for you if you overdo it, right?
The real issues are the ways companies dodge oversight... Like, I think about ten years ago when they started importing that Hey-Ho juice from overseas. Apparently, it was loaded with sweeteners, but they managed to sneak it through because of some weird loophole in how it was processed... And honestly, in my opinion, the bigger issue is stuff like Coca-Cola. I mean, what do we actually need all that caffeine and taurine for? Alcohol is a much bigger deal... the saturated fats and everything else... Compared to those, a glass of OJ actually has some decent nutrients in it...
What about the bread we pick up at the local bakery every day? How many additives and dyes are stuffed in there? Or that 0.9% fat milk that, if you ask me, isn't even real milk... And just imagine, you've got milk where they have to add calcium back in...😬 I mean, seriously, what kind of milk needs extra calcium added to it just to be considered milk???
But honestly, the most unhealthy thing you can do is stay worked up and stressed out...
Product labels actually have to match what's inside the package... I mean, you've got health inspectors, consumer protection agencies, and all those other regulatory bodies breathing down their necks anyway.
placidfox55 said:Just look at orange juice. I don't know if you've ever actually tried squeezing oranges by hand to make a glass of juice, but to get just one single serving, I’d probably have to squeeze through four, maybe even five or six oranges. And what do I get? One glass of juice. I’ll drink it in two seconds and probably want another one right away.
When am I suddenly going to eat six oranges? Or twelve? See, that's how easy it is for calories to pile up without you even noticing. Instead of just drinking a glass of water and eating one single orange, you're basically nuking your diet. 🙂 😎
I bought some Tropicana 100% orange juice and the label says there's no added sugar in it.
wiredrider2 said:Over the last three years, I’ve dealt with some of the absolute worst stressors of my life—at least according to official psychological scales. Two massive career shifts, moving houses and changing cities, plus dealing with illness and the death of someone very close to me. And somehow, at the end of all that, I'm still standing. I haven't killed anyone, I'm working, I'm not in jail, I don't have crushing debt, and I'm not checked into a psych ward. Sometimes I just don't feel particularly happy, because, I guess, after everything I've been through, it might actually feel weird if I were.
stress is an experience... not an event...
And yeah, everyone else stays screwed because they make such a huge drama out of things that you wouldn't even blink at...