Jack Harris3 said:Hmm... 🤔 So, are you actually saying that to define anything—including ourselves—we need to understand specific concepts? And since those concepts are interconnected by their very definitions, they naturally rely on one another?
Yeah. I guess we also need to adopt some kind of framework—like a philosophy, maybe—that’s unique to us, which lets us judge whether a concept is positive or negative. Take judging someone's sense of humor, for example. It might be seen as a plus in your system, but a minus in someone else's. It doesn't just exist out there as some universal truth. Your internal system might align with the majority, so people would generally call you 'funny,' but if someone uses a totally different set of values, they might see you differently. Your belief that you possess that trait isn't necessarily an absolute fact in every single context. It’s more like a 🤔 social agreement 🙂 In that light, being confident about being funny would mean realizing that while most people recognize it, if they don't, it's just because your evaluation systems don't match. Anyway, there’s really no way to prove that quality to someone who sees things differently. Unless there's a significant shift in their own framework... 😁 😁 😁
Jack Harris3 said:What if you discover a trait in yourself that you haven't noticed in anyone else? Can you even become aware of it?😉
🙂 🤔
I guess I’d probably need some serious philosophy background to make a real argument here, but my gut says no. If I haven't seen it in anyone else, I'm still just measuring it against what I already know about myself. To really grasp the quality or character of a trait, I think you need a point of comparison. It's like... if I say "I have fair skin," I'm already accepting a definition of what "fair" means. Like, we agree that a mostly pinkish tone is called "fair" 😁 while something much darker is called "black." To define a complex personality trait, I suppose I have to lean on these existing definitions just to make sense of it.
Jack Harris3 said:Hmm... I still feel like how others are doesn't matter when it comes to understanding who you are.
That isn't necessarily a contradiction to what I just said. Comparison is just a tool, I guess.
blueranger12 said:But before you start criticizing, are you actually confident enough to leap into the unknown? Like, do you know you're good enough to handle whatever criticism comes your way? Well, I guess people who don't take the leap—even when they clearly could—are just lacking confidence. And those who jump, even if they're just average, well, they've got the confidence.
😁 Objective by whose standards? I'm not really looking at some established canon here. Maybe I'll stay quiet 😬 if the sheer numbers and force of an opposing opinion threaten to shut me down permanently. But honestly, I don't give a damn. 😍
It doesn't matter how objective you think you are. 🙄 😁 Even in the grand scheme of eternity, it's all meaningless. That’s what gives you the right—and I think it's an obligation, really—to just have fun while you're here. 😍
What are the odds that I actually contributed to this discussion? Based on my own level of self-assurance... 100%. 😁
coastalorca3 said:But what about all that talk regarding "constructive criticism"?
I guess if you’re actually confident in yourself, wrong criticism doesn't sting because it's just plain wrong. And accurate feedback? That shouldn't hurt either, since it helps you grow. It fixes things. Maybe when your self-assurance is high enough, there isn't much room left for the kind of ego that stops you from listening.
Klota said:Modest (according to Anić) = someone who doesn't brag or act high and mighty - someone without excessive demands or pretensions of grandeur. The third definition isn't really relevant here. I don't see what's wrong with that. It doesn't mean they think they aren't good enough. I guess we just view things differently, which is fine, if you'll allow me to have my own opinion—and mine is that there’s a purpose to it.
You didn't answer me: what's the point of being modest? What exactly makes it a positive thing?
Mr. Pease said:What does that even matter? Whether you were "better or worse" than someone else—you're still just who you are. 😁 Comparing yourself to others usually just makes you act in a way that isn't actually you. 😂
Romance 😁 😁 I guess setting a baseline is necessary. Comparison isn't quite the same thing as competition. Maybe it's the awareness that both I and everyone else are just exactly who we are, nothing more and nothing less, that lets me look at our differences with a bit of peace.
Clota said:Now that's a great point. Some studies have shown this: a group of women with objectively similar looks (if such a thing exists), while waiting in a lobby for testing, half received compliments on their appearance from male participants tasked with giving them, and the other half didn't. Those who got the compliments were apparently more confident in their looks.
I think you're missing the conclusion again. 🙂 That 'experiment' wasn't really about self-confidence; it was about vanity and how susceptible we are to what people think. If I know that I look like a 7, but in a room of ten specific women I look like a 10, while in another group of ten I look like a 3... well, that doesn't change my own perception of being a 7. Not really. My confidence in my own looks stays the same regardless of those opinions. I'm not saying I'm immune to compliments. I'm not. But as long as I'm not, I suppose I'm not totally immune to negative criticism either. The goal is to get free from both. 😁 😁 😁
Modesty? I guess what would even be the point? And honestly, why would we want to hide or downplay our own skills or knowledge? Maybe I have some incredible talent that I don't even notice because it's just my baseline, so if I didn't react to a compliment about it, someone might mistake that for being humble. But it isn't really that; I think we're just measuring things differently.
rustyangler68 said:Like, take an athlete who works super hard on their mindset and confidence, but then they totally neglect their actual training and just crash and burn. Or, say you're driving, feeling really sure of yourself, you think you know exactly which way to go and won't even bother asking the passenger—so you end up taking a wrong turn and running late. Just mild examples, I guess.
Those aren't really the right examples. That isn't actually about confidence. The first one is just not knowing your own limits. It's pure stupidity. The second one tells us the driver is just being vain 😁 and would rather make a mistake than admit they don't know where they're going just to save face.
Maybe I didn't express myself very well. I don't think confidence itself is bad, but maybe it’s overrated at the expense of other traits. Like, nowadays in the media or all those self-help books, everyone talks about building up your confidence, while other important qualities get completely ignored.
And self-confidence isn't quite the same thing as self-esteem.
Alright, well, explain it to me then. Keeping in mind the difference between confidence and self-esteem... 😁 Personally, I think you can tell someone's confidence just by how they carry themselves. If I'm truly confident, incorrect criticism doesn't hurt because it's just wrong, and accurate criticism doesn't hurt because it helps me improve. So, if confidence is higher, I guess the vanity that would stop me from taking criticism is lower. 🙂
Jack Harris3 said:I’d say you just need to be true to yourself and reach your own peak. 😁
But how can you even know who you are without some kind of yardstick? 😁 How do you measure it? 😍 😬 I guess you end up measuring yourself against whatever people you actually know who happen to be better than you.
rustyangler68 said:I can't quite remember who said it, but honestly? The world is just crawling with people who are way too full of themselves. It's everywhere. Confidence is overrated. Or at least, what most people call confidence. I mean, there’s a big difference between actually believing in your own skills and just thinking you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. Maybe that's just my take, but I guess we shouldn't confuse the two.
😕 When people are truly secure, what they can do and what they actually want to do tend to line up. I guess that’s just why they stay that way. That doesn't necessarily mean they’re arrogant, I guess... it just means they aren't exactly humble. Knowledge is a funny thing; depending on the situation, what seems like a lot might actually be quite little. To me, self-confidence is more about knowing your own worth by your own standards. That way, when you run into someone—or some situation—that totally outclasses you, you don't just hang your head in shame. You just take it as a lesson and keep moving forward. 🙂
Maybe you have to aim for the absolute highest peak just to find a way back down... I guess you need that height if you ever want to feel like you're actually rising again. 🙂
I mean, what would even count as overconfident behavior, anyway? For instance.
Neither here nor there😛 The movie is occasionally fun, I guess, but most of the time you're just sitting there waiting for it to actually get good. It’s pretty irritating. It isn't campy enough to be pure, beautiful trash, yet it doesn't really make up for that lack of style with anything else. The caricatures, the cliché dialogue, the plot... they could have gone full comic book literal or tried a witty interpretation. Instead, they're just nothing.
Schizophrenia, epilepsy, mania... none of this is even fully understood or clearly defined yet. Sure, there are theories and some clinical evidence out there, but everything feels a bit tentative. If you start reading professional literature as an amateur (which I have 😁), you might start feeling like you could diagnose every single person you meet. You'll end up diagnosing yourself first, and probably several 😬
When you do that, you're just tearing yourself apart. You really shouldn't. And once you start looking, you won't necessarily find actual psychosis, but you'll definitely find someone deviating from the norm. So, I don't think mental illness is inherently linked to creativity or "genius" in the way people usually assume. I guess a person in a totally non-creative job can be just as "crazy"; it's just that for them, that part of their personality rarely comes to the surface.
I've seen plenty of shows, and honestly, they vary. Take Sonic Youth, for instance—back when they played at Madison Square Garden about ten years ago. It was this beautiful, lovely wall of noise, but you could actually hear what was going on. I think Madison Square Garden is a solid venue; the acoustics are decent. Everything from the stage was clear enough, though, I guess, the drums weren't exactly perfect. I can live with that. My only real gripe is the second set, which felt like a bit of an anticlimax. As for the lack of crowd interaction, I'm with Rachel Jones11 on that one. Personally, I actually preferred how they just transitioned straight from one song to the next.
I had an incredible time 🙂 🙂 It’s honestly amazing when a band you’ve loved for half your life performs your favorite tracks with such beautiful energy. And I think George Washington is one of the best concert venues I know; any complaints about the sound system are, well, probably misplaced 😛
Kim Deal isn't a masterpiece, but she still has the sweetest voice 🙂 and Bill Gates remains completely unrivaled 😁 😁 😁
Herbert is a true master. His music is just so layered; I feel like you can listen to it over and over and still catch something new. I hadn't heard of Manifesto before, so thanks to the OP for clearing things up for me 🙂
Jamie Anderson82 said:Maybe it’s actually easier to just let that part of your heart go rather than trying to "get it back"...
It isn't just easier—it's pretty much the only way if you want to actually live a meaningful life.🙂 🙂 I mean, it's worth considering that this whole "heart" thing is basically a bottomless pit, really.😬 😍 You have to be able to throw love around like some billionaire on a spending spree, just so you don't feel the void.