Posts by Morgan Bishop4

rowdyharbor15 said:And what about those little trolls on the internet who just spend their whole lives talking trash about everyone else? Are they actually aiming for success? Or is it just that they can't stand seeing anyone else win

Honestly, I think they’re just deeply insecure, or maybe 🤷 just straight-up intolerant, you know? Because let’s be real, talking trash about people isn't some grand achievement, and pretty much everyone knows that already...

I honestly think this whole idea of splitting people into "winners" and "losers" is just pure stupidity—I mean, what exactly are these winners winning? It’s just as grating as listening to that one annoying song on the radio...
Look, if a professor at your local state university calls on you to answer a question so you can snag a better grade, and you just sit there refusing... it’s not like you’re "winning" by passing or getting an A, it’s just... man, if you actually have a functioning brain and nothing to lose, of course you’re gonna step up and grab that higher grade.
And you don't want to be the center of attention?! Give me a break, what kind of attention are we even talking about here? Standing at a chalkboard in a classroom? That’s nothing. You have to deal with actual media scrutiny for the rest of your life, where some random stalker shows up at your front door because you're famous.
Basically, every single person has this hardwired instinct to act in their own best interest and seize a good opportunity when it presents itself, just to make life a little easier for themselves. (And look, I'm not trying to start a debate on morality here)... but seriously, if some random stranger stopped you on a street corner in NYC and said, "Hey, here is $167, I'm some billionaire who doesn't need the cash, so I'm giving it to a random passerby," you'd probably say, "Oh wow, why me? No thanks, I'll pass."
Come on.
If you're saying it's a matter of self-confidence, then for God's sake, go out and get some. Go talk to strangers in the city about nothing important... look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you're doing great. Dress sharp, feel good about how you look, I don't know... pick up a new skill and actually get decent at it. I'm not sure what else to tell you.
Oh, and yeah, it's true that some people are born leaders while most of us are just sheep.
I’m definitely a sheep myself—not the mindless kind, maybe more like a black sheep, but I know for a fact I'm not a leader and I never plan on being one (I don't care about being a boss, or being the absolute best at something... none of that interests me).
So, if you were never meant to be the type to lead, you aren't going to be, so just stop wishing for it right now!
But hey, you can still build up some confidence and stop letting opportunities slip through your fingers.
And also... it's just human nature that people, especially guys, love to compete in absolutely everything. Personally, it drives me insane when the most mundane things have to turn into some intense competition. Generally speaking, I hate it when people constantly pit themselves against each other to prove they're superior; I much prefer it when people collaborate to create something better than what existed before.
I will never truly understand people whose only motivation in life is proving they are better than someone else... those people aren't leaders, and they don't actually have self-confidence either; they're just masking their deep-seated complexes with trophies, wins, and big, empty stories.
So, I really don't see why it's such a tragedy if you aren't a leader or the best at something... the only downside is that you might screw yourself over occasionally, but yeah, just try to keep that in mind.

It’s funny how time behaves, isn't it? It feels like when you're constantly soaking up new environments, diving into fresh experiences, or just having those "aha!" moments, everything stretches out... kind of like how childhood felt, where every single thing was a brand new discovery. Even a tiny one-week vacation can feel like an entire month if it's packed with stuff. Or take a single day spent wandering through a new city, taking a random drive somewhere you've never been—it feels endless because there's so much to process. Meanwhile, those days stuck in a mindless routine, where it's just the same old thing after the same old thing, they just vanish in the blink of an eye. Like, even when work is mind-numbing, Monday through Friday might only yield three interesting things, whereas a weekend where you actually get out, meet new people, or explore a different part of town could feel like fifty different adventures... and yeah, that weekend flies by way too fast, but in my head, it feels like hours upon hours of pure life, while those five workdays don't even register as a fraction of a second on my mental timeline. I remember this one time I just grabbed my bike and headed out toward 50 miles without any real plan, got lost a couple of times, bumped into some new faces along the way, and ended up getting caught in the rain at the end... I was riding all day long. And even now, I can still vividly replay every segment of that trip, the songs I was singing under my breath, the vibes, the thoughts... it was like watching one long, continuous movie. Compare that to some boring weekend last fall when it was freezing outside, I just lounged around my apartment, watched some movies, and that was basically it. Nothing sticks. Just...

casualbadger92 said:I guess being introverted isn't exactly a popular trait... I've noticed that I rarely make a great first impression on people. Sometimes, it even seems like folks dislike me just because I come off as reserved or too serious at first. For instance, back in high school, some people were actually pretty rude to me before they ever really got to know me. I wonder why being quiet or guarded is seen as such a negative thing that it triggers these kinds of reactions? :nezna:

tapatalk

The thing is, when someone stays low-key, it can give off this vibe that they’re just standing there silently judging everything and everyone around them. It's almost like a power move, right? They end up being the dominant ones because they've gathered all this intel on the loud, outgoing types, while nobody has a damn clue what's going on in their head...
Plus, let's be real, it's just way more comfortable being around someone who'll actually kick off a conversation rather than someone who won't even give you two cents of attention if you try to talk to them.

Mark Perez32 said:People aren't inherently lazy; they might struggle with tasks they feel forced to perform—like a mandatory assignment for a class at Harvard—but it is widely recognized that long-term unemployment often leads to depression.
Procrastination frequently occurs when an individual cares so deeply about performing a task perfectly that they wait for the "ideal" conditions, such as a sudden burst of motivation, which ultimately results in endless delays.
If an organism successfully meets all its basic biological needs, it naturally possesses a surplus of hours to spend resting; consider how cats are elite hunters yet spend much of their time sleeping. Humans require roughly eight hours of sleep, which suggests our very nature is designed to devote a significant portion of our daily lives to being active and engaged in purposeful pursuits.

nah, it’s more like when the task at hand is so mind-numbingly boring and soul-crushing that you just keep dodging it indefinitely... or when it's something genuinely awkward, like finally heading to the dentist or dealing with a clogged drain. honestly, I'd probably tackle a backed-up sink before I ever forced myself into a dentist's chair...

Chill out for a second and realize that everyone’s gotta figure their own way out of the mess... You're getting way too wrapped up in your sister's drama. If she decides to pack her bags and move halfway across the country, honestly, that's probably for the best for them. She'll likely live a decent life and deal with way fewer headaches than she is right now. When you actually love someone, you have to let them fly the coop and find their own path 😁
Seriously though, go find yourself a hobby or something...

Hannah Wilson10 said:I’ve always had a soft spot for people who are just... real. You know, the laid-back types who aren't afraid to speak their minds and can actually handle a bit of criticism without losing it.
I’m definitely not one of them—I’m basically an actor. It's all a front because my self-confidence is pretty much non-existent. I play the part by constantly grinning and cracking these cheap little jokes, mostly just to mask my own insecurities.
Honestly, I hate doing it. It’s exhausting, and let’s face it—it makes me come off as obnoxious sometimes because I tend to overdo the forced smiling.
I wish I could stop, but when you lack confidence—and honestly, maybe I just lack the depth, the experience, or the "life" required to be authentic—you end up performing. People who haven't lived enough, or don't have that simmering internal discontent driving them, usually end up playing a role.
I don't particularly like people who act this way, but I can empathize. They can't even win the battle against themselves, so how are they supposed to navigate the world?
Some people do it on purpose, others don't even realize they're doing it.
We should probably try to be understanding and, if they aren't aware of it, maybe gently point out the cracks in the mask.

What kind of "experience" are we even talking about here? Some people are just born confident and comfortable in their own skin, plain and simple...🤷 And saying you lack quality? Honestly, I think being able to see yourself clearly without some fake, polished persona like most people do is a quality in itself. Like, what extra "qualities" are you even looking for to justify existing?! You just exist. If you're pissed off, you're pissed off... if you're feeling good, you're feeling good. It shouldn't require a checklist of experiences or some deep wisdom. Personally, I'd much rather hang out with someone who is openly miserable than someone hiding behind a fake smile. Just stop being afraid of everything. Nobody can touch you if you don't let them... at the end of the day, we all end up in the ground anyway...

Thomas Martinez9 said:I agree with that part, but I don't see how it relates to being hardworking at all...

If you're digging holes in your backyard, that's probably not driven by curiosity. 🤷

it’s more like you planted something, forgot what it was, and now you’re just waiting for something to pop up so you can be surprised...😁

casualbadger92 said:Over-the-top cheerfulness is also kind of annoying to me.
People who constantly laugh at their own jokes... they're just unlikable.

Quincy:

I suppose superficial people might not catch when someone is faking it, so if someone plays the part well, they might actually seem charming? :/ I work with a guy who has this whole repertoire of "bits" he uses on everyone (except me, because I showed him those don't work on me), and he probably thinks he's being incredibly witty and engaging, while it honestly just grates on my nerves... for example, sometimes he gets this urge to greet everyone with some foreign word (like Aloha, Arrivederci, Sayonara, or something in Chinese or Russian), and it's just cringey to watch him do it, but even worse when someone else acts impressed and greets him back that way.

God knows what you mean, but those kinds of bits are just awful. People who are constantly performing... I always put them in that category of "people who repeat themselves," and then their jokes lose all charm over time, because I realize they aren't reacting to the moment or the person, but just pulling from a script they have ready for anyone, rather than actually connecting with me or whoever happens to be there.
I can't even tell you how awkward it feels when I realize it's the fifth time I've heard the exact same joke, and I'm left wondering if this person will notice that I'm laughing just to pretend I haven't heard it before.☕
Unless, after a while, I start thinking they repeat themselves because they're maybe a little eccentric... then, I guess, they become somewhat endearing. 🤷

The guy you mentioned, the one laughing at the person behind him, or the one acting cool with the foreign greetings... he actually seems okay to me, mostly because I totally get the embarrassment and frustration you feel when you're forced, out of sheer politeness, to pretend something is hilarious when it's really just silly and childish.
I doubt anyone actually finds that stuff funny; maybe some people just perform being amused better than others.

What do you guys think of people who are constantly, incessantly laughing? For me, it eventually has the opposite effect, because it makes me feel like I have to act happy when I'm really not feeling it. If you're funny, I'll laugh at the joke, but not because you're laughing. It feels forced. ☕

I know someone who is always talking and laughing, but she isn't funny at all. Despite all that laughter, I don't find her likable one bit. 🤷

I'm starting to think that laughter doesn't necessarily have anything to do with whether someone seems likable. 🤔

Man, what anxiety... personally, I just give them this blank stare whenever they come at me with one of those copy-paste remarks. Seriously, if it was just a one-off thing, fine, but sometimes they’ll just drone on with the exact same phrases and lines all day long, or for several days straight. Honestly, I think it’s even worse if you actually respond to one of those comments instead of just ignoring them, because if you react at all—even if it’s just a deadpan "uh-huh" or "mhm"—they’ll just repeat it a hundred times over! It’s like dealing with a five-year-old who thinks they just heard the greatest joke in human history. 🤷
And yeah, don't even get me started on people who are constantly grinning for absolutely no reason. I have someone like that at my office, and I actually started a thread about her once because she was just so indescribably grating 😁 though she works in a different room now... honestly, once I get rid of the human parrot, my life might actually get boring since I won't have anyone left to drive me up the wall. 😉

casualbadger92 said:true, being average looking and way too cocky = just an obnoxious jerk
overly confident people aren't really my type, I guess.

or anything like that.

how do you all feel about confidence? is it something you find attractive in others, or maybe not?
if not, I guess what makes it a turn-off? 🤷

There’s a healthy boundary for confidence where people actually believe in themselves and are genuinely self-assured, whereas those who are just one step past that are just performing confidence to mask deep-seated insecurities. To me, a truly confident person is more like that eccentric lady wearing a bright hat and leopard print leggings (okay, maybe that's just tacky, but still), rather than some corporate guy in a high-end suit who feels the need to dominate every single room he walks into.
With the quirky lady, there's a much higher chance she couldn't care less what anyone thinks, which makes her interesting and probably quite likable, whereas that guy would just annoy the hell out of me with his posturing and fake bravado.

I honestly feel like someone who’s just naturally chill is way more likable than someone putting in overtime to seem friendly—whether they're forcing a smile, acting all outgoing, or just dropping these lame, manufactured jokes...
Though, I guess superficial people might not even catch onto the act, so if someone plays the part well enough, they probably end up being "charming" to them? :/ I work with this guy who has a whole repertoire of these scripted "bits" he pulls on everyone (except me, since I've already made it clear his little routine doesn't work on me), and he genuinely thinks he's the life of the party, while it honestly just drives me insane... like, sometimes he gets this itch to greet everyone with some random foreign word—like saying "aloha," "ciao," or some random phrase in Japanese or Russian—and it makes me cringe so hard, but it’s even worse when someone else actually falls for it and starts greeting him back in kind.

Thomas Martinez9 said:True. You've got a point there. I hadn't looked at it that way.
My grandmother was a workaholic and fell ill around 50. Now she’s mostly bedridden, knitting constantly because she feels useless if she isn't doing something.🤷
Maybe I'm veering off track here... but I think what you're saying is the truth.

But we can't spend our entire lives being lazy just because our bodies want to lounge around.☕
We have to actually accomplish things.

Because after lying around for a few hours or even a day, most people's bodies eventually start screaming at them to move... those restlessness bugs kick in. Personally, I can maybe handle a day or two tops before I need to move, but some people can barely sit at home idling for a couple of hours before they lose it. That's why you gotta go for a bike ride, run errands, cook something up, tidy the house, or plant some flowers in the yard 😁 though obviously, working an eight-hour grind at the exact same job every single day isn't natural either 🙂 that kind of stuff kills me already, and I've barely even started my career.
And of course, from the moment we're born, society drills it into our heads that being a tireless worker is some grand virtue, when really it just makes us better slaves for the people profiting off us... whether it was kings back in the day or the CEOs of massive corporations like Amazon nowadays... and man, big pharma must be loving it when we get sick from living like this. It's like, all that stress, the osteoporosis, the back pain... people, please, just use those two hours of free time you have between working all day and sleeping to cook yourself something healthy... but they've basically stripped away all our time to do anything else.

jadewolf16 said:Honestly? I’d go as far as to say being a workaholic isn't even a strength—it's actually a flaw. Like, if I planned on hitting the gym today but my body is screaming "not today, maybe tomorrow"—I'm listening! I don't have this weird, built-in obsession with discipline or some massive guilt trip about skipping a session... I mean, why would I just push through and risk breaking something or getting sidelined by an injury? It's just not worth it.

Am I just being lazy here, or am I just someone who finally learned how to listen to their own body? Because let's be real—my body knows what's up better than anyone else does.

I'm with you on that. People seriously need to "relearn" how to listen to their bodies. And I don't just mean deciding whether to tackle a project now or later, but stuff regarding actual health too.
like, whenever I was getting sick, I’d suddenly find myself craving nothing but sour things, like lemons or oranges or whatever.
sometimes we just need to shut up and listen🙂
and yeah, I really think people who are obsessively hardworking end up dying way too young from stress, heart issues, or other ailments. It seems to me like those high-achievers are just constantly carrying this massive weight on them...

It doesn't have to be that way. If you just refuse to play along with all that bullshit, then none of it happens. You can honestly just be blunt with everyone, and eventually, you’ll stumble upon some guy who meets you halfway, and then you two can actually be happy together... 😁
I don't get the appeal of these little mind games at all, I've never played them, and honestly, I'm not missing out on anything.
It's like saying if you want to make a friend, you have to pass some stupid, made-up hazing ritual or a test of courage or whatever just to prove you're worthy of their friendship.
If someone actually gives a damn about you, they aren't going to care nearly as much about protecting their ego or maintaining control as they do about just spending time with you.

frozenmoose93 said:I’m with you on this. You've gotta build yourself up first. If you don't know who you are or what you actually want out of life—including the kind of partner you need—you're just spinning your wheels. It’s a mistake to go looking for fulfillment in someone else if you haven't even found it within yourself yet.

That’s the kicker right there. Why would two people who fit perfectly together suddenly become a total mismatch? 😕 Why would people who are actually perfect for each other ever call it quits?

If you actually put in the work to understand and respect your partner—if you really focus on nurturing that connection—you can build something real with pretty much anyone.

I don't buy it at all. Expecting that from anyone is just totally unrealistic. Those kinds of relationships are built on one person manipulating and controlling the other, which isn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination. Some people are just fundamentally incompatible.
So you think I’m saying some hardcore religious zealot and a die-hard atheist can just have this perfect, amazing relationship? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. Not happening. 🙂 There’s nothing left to work with here. How are they supposed to build anything meaningful when they don't even see eye to eye on the basics?

Compatibility is a pretty fuzzy concept that basically just gets you through the door. But actually making a relationship last and keeping things fun? That takes an entirely different set of tools.

It’s not blurry at all. It’s only unclear to people who don't get it—the ones who think they can be compatible with everyone. Usually, those are the types who actually believe they can change someone. ☕

Here’s a definition for you:

Compatibility basically means everything just fits. It’s about things being in sync, working together, or just vibing perfectly. Harmony, alignment, whatever you want to call it.
Compatibility basically means things just work together. It’s when two things vibe, fit, or mesh perfectly without any friction. Fun enough, the word actually comes from an old Latin root that meant "suffering together" or having empathy. So, being compatible isn't just about technical stuff fitting—it's kind of like having a shared soul.
According to the American Encyclopedia, being compatible means you actually align with something else. It’s about things or people working together in the same space without constantly clashing or messing each other up.

It isn't about luck or just drifting along. It's about choice.

So, what's your big revelation? I've been saying this from day one. Relationships like that depend on how much people can tolerate each other—or "willpower" (if you want to be dramatic about it) to stay together despite all the friction.
Whoever has the will to make it work, will. Sure, those setups can last 20 or 30 years, but they aren't healthy. They're broken on the inside. Just because a couple stays together forever doesn't mean it's some kind of ideal scenario. People stick around in toxic relationships for a million different reasons, but at the end of the day, it's just a bad partnership.

Maybe it's because you're just being an absolute jerk and acting cold...

frozenmoose93 said:I’m with you on this. You've gotta build yourself up first. If you don't know who you are or what you actually want out of life—including the kind of partner you need—you're just spinning your wheels. It’s a mistake to go looking for fulfillment in someone else if you haven't even found it within yourself yet.

That’s the kicker right there. Why would two people who fit perfectly together suddenly become a total mismatch? 😕 Why would people who are actually perfect for each other ever call it quits?

If you actually put in the work to understand and respect your partner—if you really focus on nurturing that connection—you can build something real with pretty much anyone.

I don't buy it at all. Expecting that from anyone is just totally unrealistic. Those kinds of relationships are built on one person manipulating and controlling the other, which isn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination. Some people are just fundamentally incompatible.
So you think I’m saying some hardcore religious zealot and a die-hard atheist can just have this perfect, amazing relationship? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. Not happening. 🙂 There’s nothing left to work with here. How are they supposed to build anything meaningful when they don't even see eye to eye on the basics?

Compatibility is a pretty fuzzy concept that basically just gets you through the door. But actually making a relationship last and keeping things fun? That takes an entirely different set of tools.

It’s not blurry at all. It’s only unclear to people who don't get it—the ones who think they can be compatible with everyone. Usually, those are the types who actually believe they can change someone. ☕

Here’s a definition for you:

Compatibility basically means everything just fits. It’s about things being in sync, working together, or just vibing perfectly. Harmony, alignment, whatever you want to call it.
Compatibility basically means things just work together. It’s when two things vibe, fit, or mesh perfectly without any friction. Fun enough, the word actually comes from an old Latin root that meant "suffering together" or having empathy. So, being compatible isn't just about technical stuff fitting—it's kind of like having a shared soul.
According to the American Encyclopedia, being compatible means you actually align with something else. It’s about things or people working together in the same space without constantly clashing or messing each other up.

It isn't about luck or just drifting along. It's about choice.

So, what's your big revelation? I've been saying this from day one. Relationships like that depend on how much people can tolerate each other—or "willpower" (if you want to be dramatic about it) to stay together despite all the friction.
Whoever has the will to make it work, will. Sure, those setups can last 20 or 30 years, but they aren't healthy. They're broken on the inside. Just because a couple stays together forever doesn't mean it's some kind of ideal scenario. People stick around in toxic relationships for a million different reasons, but at the end of the day, it's just a bad partnership.

Honestly, I feel like I’d get along pretty well with most people in a relationship... 🤷 I’m not really picky about much, my tolerance threshold is pretty high and all that. The only dealbreaker for me is if I just don't feel any spark, then what's even the point?
And I don't see why someone would feel the need to manipulate their partner if their personalities aren't wildly different—like, say, if one is a staunch atheist and the other is a devout Catholic? What does that even have to do with anything? It’s not like the Catholic is going to trick the atheist into a church service and hope for some divine intervention, or like the atheist is going to use logic to strip away the other person's faith... I've never heard of anyone in a relationship literally holding a gun to their partner's head to force them to go to Mass or forbidding them from practicing their faith.
So, regarding those fundamental beliefs and views, I mean, come on... you wouldn't say a hardcore Democrat and a die-hard Republican couldn't date?! Obviously, if two people are planning to spend their lives together, they should probably share some basic expectations and goals—like, both wanting or not wanting kids, or wanting to buy a house versus renting, living in the city versus the suburbs... but that’s about it. It doesn't matter if he loves boxing and she loves gardening; they don't need to be carbon copies of each other's hobbies.
And I truly believe that if that atheist and that devout Catholic are actual grown-ups, they’ll respect each other's beliefs, won't belittle or criticize them, and will just let the subject rest so everyone can live their lives how they choose. 🤷 I don't see how that becomes a reason to break up, unless someone is just trying to steamroll the other person into thinking a certain way, which has absolutely nothing to do with actual compatibility.

frozenmoose93 said:I’m with you on this. You've gotta build yourself up first. If you don't know who you are or what you actually want out of life—including the kind of partner you need—you're just spinning your wheels. It’s a mistake to go looking for fulfillment in someone else if you haven't even found it within yourself yet.

That’s the kicker right there. Why would two people who fit perfectly together suddenly become a total mismatch? 😕 Why would people who are actually perfect for each other ever call it quits?

If you actually put in the work to understand and respect your partner—if you really focus on nurturing that connection—you can build something real with pretty much anyone.

I don't buy it at all. Expecting that from anyone is just totally unrealistic. Those kinds of relationships are built on one person manipulating and controlling the other, which isn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination. Some people are just fundamentally incompatible.
So you think I’m saying some hardcore religious zealot and a die-hard atheist can just have this perfect, amazing relationship? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. Not happening. 🙂 There’s nothing left to work with here. How are they supposed to build anything meaningful when they don't even see eye to eye on the basics?

Compatibility is a pretty fuzzy concept that basically just gets you through the door. But actually making a relationship last and keeping things fun? That takes an entirely different set of tools.

It’s not blurry at all. It’s only unclear to people who don't get it—the ones who think they can be compatible with everyone. Usually, those are the types who actually believe they can change someone. ☕

Here’s a definition for you:

Compatibility basically means everything just fits. It’s about things being in sync, working together, or just vibing perfectly. Harmony, alignment, whatever you want to call it.
Compatibility basically means things just work together. It’s when two things vibe, fit, or mesh perfectly without any friction. Fun enough, the word actually comes from an old Latin root that meant "suffering together" or having empathy. So, being compatible isn't just about technical stuff fitting—it's kind of like having a shared soul.
According to the American Encyclopedia, being compatible means you actually align with something else. It’s about things or people working together in the same space without constantly clashing or messing each other up.

It isn't about luck or just drifting along. It's about choice.

So, what's your big revelation? I've been saying this from day one. Relationships like that depend on how much people can tolerate each other—or "willpower" (if you want to be dramatic about it) to stay together despite all the friction.
Whoever has the will to make it work, will. Sure, those setups can last 20 or 30 years, but they aren't healthy. They're broken on the inside. Just because a couple stays together forever doesn't mean it's some kind of ideal scenario. People stick around in toxic relationships for a million different reasons, but at the end of the day, it's just a bad partnership.

Look, I honestly have no idea where people are even getting these conclusions from... like, obviously some people are going to click with certain folks and others won't; there’s no such thing as a person who gets along with everybody, but then again, there’s nobody who is universally hated either (unless they’re just a complete wreck who hates the entire world). And sure, some people might only have two friends, while others have five, and some have twenty—though let’s be real, those people with twenty are probably pretty superficial, but whatever... some people are going to cut ties with every single relationship if their partner doesn't fit their specific mold—maybe they were irresponsible, or unemployed, or too controlling, or just a total pushover, or whatever... it doesn't matter. But I truly believe some people just naturally align with a larger group of people because of who they are. Likewise, someone could end up with maybe only one or two solid connections and everything else is just garbage because things didn't click... whereas someone else might have five or six great relationships simply because that's their temperament—they're easy to get along with and don't feel the need to pick fights over every little nothing. And this doesn't even have to be about manipulation or anything shady; it’s just that some people are more adaptable, more tolerant, or just have a broader perspective, so other people's lifestyles or quirks don't bother them nearly as much as they would someone else.

I’ve always been the type to keep things pretty low-key, you know? Not really looking for all that flashy, high-octane nonsense that everyone else seems to be chasing these days... just trying to stay grounded and deal with reality as it comes, without all the extra noise... kaže:
What part of this isn't clicking for you? It’s pretty simple: some people just vibe together and others don't, and yeah, that actually matters... People who are absolutely terrified of being alone will cling to anyone and everyone just to feel something, even if they can't stand the person they're with, especially when there's a massive gap in maturity or character. Honestly, those types are just desperate and deeply insecure...

So, you’re seriously still out here peddling the idea that two people who are fundamentally incompatible can actually make it work, find common ground, and live some kind of blissful, happy life together?! Honestly, I’m sitting here thinking you might be more lost than you realize...

I mean, I’m right there with you on that, but if I’m reading you correctly, you’re basically saying that pairing up someone who’s totally laid back with a high-strung, jittery type is just a recipe for disaster from day one... a total mismatch that was never going to work out...
Look, I never actually said that incompatible people just magically click, but I’m also not out here claiming you need to be carbon copies of each other for some level of compatibility to exist... obviously if two personalities are complete polar opposites that just clash on every single level, it’s not going to work. But my point is that someone chill and laid-back paired with someone high-strung can actually balance each other out perfectly, yet you immediately jump to the conclusion that they're fundamentally incompatible. I’m definitely not saying every calm soul is a perfect match for every hothead out there, but if they actually manage to find common ground, I really think they could function quite well together...

I mean, honestly... I’ve always been more of a down-to-earth type of person, you know? Not really one for all that flashy, high-maintenance nonsense that seems to drive everyone else crazy these days... just prefer keeping things simple and real whenever possible... kaže:
I don't know, man... I just can't get on board with that. All I've ever seen are people who just don't give a damn about anything...☕ Maybe there are some out there that operate differently, but honestly, I haven't run into any yet...
People who actually have an opinion always feel this desperate, nagging need to go out and air it... but then you look at those total snowflakes and they just don't care about anything. They’re completely numb to the world around them. You can't even tell if they think something smells like roses or pure garbage because they're just too indifferent to bother deciding...

I haven’t actually run into anyone quite like the person you just described... maybe once if I really stretch it, but honestly, it feels like a total one-in-a-million scenario...

I guess you could say I’m pretty down-to-earth... if you consider someone who spends way too much time overthinking things while staring at a screen to be grounded, but yeah, that's basically the vibe... kaže:
Of course it isn't... I mean, some people just have a chill vibe, others are high-strung as hell, and then there's that whole other group that doesn't even fit into either category. I was really just poking fun at that theory you had about opposites attracting... specifically from that one post where YOU decided to categorize everyone into being laid-back, hot-headed, or total dreamers... 😉

Look, I’m not out here trying to put everyone into two or three little boxes... that's not really my thing. I was just throwing those out there as examples of certain personalities I've noticed popping up lately... or at least, they're the types I tend to run into in my own life and circle...

Jacob Cooper5 said:Judgment matters. We’re talking about actual discernment here.
If you want to survive out there, you have to be able to weigh things up. You need to realize you aren't just walking into a campfire... you need to know you aren't jumping off a fifth-story balcony without a parachute.
That kind of foresight—that ability to judge a situation—is everything.

When you strip away someone's ability to think critically for themselves, you pave the way for cults, "soulmate" delusions, and all kinds of psychological manipulation...

I wouldn't go as far as saying discernment and being judgmental are the exact same thing. I mean, okay, if you've just met someone and from those tiny little interactions you realize they seem sketchy, maybe they have a record, or they lie, or they’re clearly trying to hustle you—and then you steer clear? Fine. Or if you start dating someone and right out of the gate you see they're super possessive, or pathologically jealous, or a total control freak... and you dump them immediately... that's just common sense and reading the room. It's evaluating people for what they are.
But it's a completely different story when, say, people at the office start making these nasty, judgmental comments about a coworker's behavior—like, "Look at how they dress, I'd be so embarrassed," or "They did this one thing, I could never..." and so on and so forth. That kind of energy just breeds cliques, drama, tension, and honestly, absolutely nothing productive. 🤷It's the same thing when you walk into a new environment, meet a few people, and suddenly one person starts badmouthing others right off the bat, telling you, "Oh, that person is awful, they're so this and so." If you've got a weak character, you'll take their word for it, you won't give that person a fair shake, and you'll end up viewing everything they do through a negative lens because someone else planted that seed in your head... but if you have a shred of common sense and actual backbone, you'll wait until you form your own opinion. It's honestly pathetic how lazy and easily swayed people are, just tossing out judgments based on superficial bullshit that says zero about a person's true character. And because of that kind of stupidity, people end up missing out on a great love, a real friend, or even just a decent neighbor...

And yeah, I guess I'd say I find myself judging the people who are constantly judging everyone else most of all. :/ In like 90 percent of cases where someone comes to me to gossip, my internal reaction is just... so what? Like, they haven't actually harmed anyone, and you haven't done anything wrong, they just, I don't know, acted rude, or didn't say hi, or maybe they just forgot to text you back—which happens, people get busy—or they're acting like, "He did this specifically just to spite me!" My main thought is usually just, 😁 wow, okay, so the universe revolves around you, does it? Look, I definitely judge behaviors that I find immoral, selfish, or shallow. And when someone comes to me with these statements that scream superficiality, ignorance, or how easily they're manipulated, I can't help but think they're just... well, shallow or stupid. It's not like I'm going to go out of my way to ignore them or whatever, but I'm certainly not looking to grab a drink with someone like that...

I honestly can’t stand money or this whole modern capitalist grind and the system we're stuck in... but since I actually have to live in it, I guess it's better to have some cash than to be totally broke. Back when I wasn't making anything, I used to have all these little cravings—you know, wanting to buy this or that, or finally fixing up my apartment exactly how I wanted, or maybe traveling somewhere cool...
Once I got my first real paycheck and treated myself to a killer bike and did a bit of decorating, I just sat there thinking—wait, now what? I’d pretty much bought everything on my list 😁 (well, except for buying a house, obviously). But it’s weird... it feels kind of hollow once you can just buy whatever you want (which, honestly, means my standards are probably pretty low), and... yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad my fridge is stocked, even if certain things, like sweets, just feel totally unappealing to me right now. Stuff that used to feel like such a massive luxury, something that cost an arm and a leg and tasted like pure heaven once you finally grabbed it, now just feels... meh. I don't know. It’s nice living without the constant, crushing stress of wondering how you're going to survive until tomorrow, but then again, there was a certain kind of raw energy in just trying to make it through... for a little while, at least.

frozenmoose93 said:I know. It’s just that they haven't ALL failed *yet*. 🤣 Some are hanging by a thread. To me, nothing is healthy if partners treat each other like garbage behind closed doors while acting like the perfect couple in public. 🙄 Usually, it's some toxic possessiveness keeping them locked together. It's basically people who are terrified of being alone. I've heard this from so many people. Like, when I ask, "Why stay with someone you can't even stand?" the response is always some idiotic, "Well, what am I supposed to do, be alone forever?!" OMFG!!! That's not how normal people think. Period.🙄

Every chill person I know has zero backbone. Total pushovers.
There's a difference between being naturally chill and just becoming numb to everything over time. I'm pretty laid back sometimes, but I still have my own opinions.
You started this talking about people with totally different personalities. That's why I'm saying chill types and high-strung types don't mix. Everything else is just nuance. We aren't all identical, obviously, but we tend to be pretty similar. That's where my 70-80% figure comes from.

Okay, but hold up, those are two completely different things... why would a couple where one person is super chill and the other is constantly high-strung be fighting every single day? And what does that have to do with people being afraid of being alone?! You really can't just lump everything into one big bucket like that...
I don't know what kind of "chill" people you've run into, but that doesn't mean they're the same thing. Just because someone stays calm in situations where everyone else is losing their minds over nothing, doesn't mean they lack character, opinions, or a soul...
And honestly, if you stop stressing over every little thing as you get older, that doesn't make you "spineless," it just makes you a mature adult who isn't going to act like a hormonal teenager screaming and panicking over every minor inconvenience...

Also, just because I said chill personalities and high-strung ones often end up together, it doesn't mean they’re polar opposites in every single way. What does temperament have to do with their politics, or religion, or how they see society, or their actual goals, fears, tastes, or anything else that actually defines who they are?! A person isn't just "chill" or "high-strung" and nothing else... there's way more to it than that...

frozenmoose93 said:I couldn't agree more with S. That’s exactly how most people see it, which is why you see those relationships imploding after just a couple of years. It might work for a little while, sure, but long-term? No way. Those kinds of setups are basically doomed from day one.

I'm a big believer in opposites attracting, but similarities? That’s where the real magic happens.

Phlegmatic types and high-strung types just don't mix. Their reactions to the exact same situation are worlds apart, and someone always ends up feeling insulted or slighted. That’s where the fighting starts—because the intense one expects support from their partner, while the chill one honestly couldn't care less. 😁
Two hotheads aren't gonna tear each other apart if they actually click. If they're both pissed off about the same thing, they can just agree on that and team up to take down whoever's bothering them.
Guys like Živac can actually read the room and predict what’s gonna bug their partner before it even happens, so they don't accidentally trip any wires. A total pushover just can't do that because they don't get how a high-strung person's brain works. It goes both ways, too.

So, since you've seen plenty of these couples, you've basically decided they all fail?
I see it way differently... that example you gave feels more like those extreme cases where one person is a total zen master and the other is a ticking time bomb. Most people fall somewhere in the middle on that spectrum.
Besides, I haven't actually met two high-strung people who get worked up over the same things. Usually, when I see people like that, they're nitpicking each other over completely different little details and just constantly clashing.
And look, a chill person can still be annoyed by the same things as a high-strung person. Just because someone is easygoing doesn't mean they don't have strong opinions about certain things...

frozenmoose93 said:No need to quote my ENTIRE post if you're just replying right underneath it. 😉
As for the answer—percentages are just a rough, subjective vibe. I mean, you probably get an idea of how much you click with someone based on shared interests, similar views, hobbies, whatever. It's just about how much your personalities align. Don't take it so literal! 😉 Obviously, there isn't some math formula to calculate if two people are a match. 😁

Personally, I couldn't really put a number on my own compatibility levels with anyone. I can usually tell if it's a hard "no," or if it's mostly "yes" or "no"... 🤷 though I'd say I'm pretty chill and tend to get along with a huge variety of people, even if they don't necessarily feel the same way about me 😁 but then you run into certain people who are such massive pains in the ass that even if they're technically compatible with someone, they'll find a million tiny little things to nitpick until they just write that person off entirely... :/ and honestly, I feel like certain opposites just balance each other out perfectly, like how a super laid-back person paired with someone who's got a bit of a temper works well. Two totally mellow people might just end up being boring and aimless together, while two high-strung or dominant types would probably just tear each other apart. So that whole idea that you need to be nearly identical to work doesn't really track for me. Same goes for dreamers needing someone to keep them grounded, and vice versa...