Posts by Andrew Barrett4

Lisa Morales4 said:I just wish the mods would leave us alone so we can actually enjoy hanging out here.
They need to stop the gossip, the drama, and acting like they’re some kind of higher power.

The moderators are supposed to serve the community, not the other way around.

There isn't any gossip going on, Lisa Morales4.
Honestly,
everyone's true colors have already shown.

But I won't sit by and tolerate the constant trolling coming over from that other board, trying to provoke people.

John Hill said:Alright, look, I moved this thread to where it actually belongs. And just to be clear, decisions like this aren't made by Jose White18 alone, or by me, or any single moderator acting on their own. These three specific threads have been a mess for a long time now. Originally, there was just one single discussion about cheating. Then, a few women showed up claiming they didn't fit into that specific conversation, so three separate threads about adultery were opened. We allowed them because we wanted to be accommodating; we thought splitting things up would cut down on the constant bickering by letting people group themselves by interest. Instead, it just created these little cliques that ended up warring with each other. In any other normal situation, when threads get this out of hand—where moderation becomes a nightmare because we're constantly deleting arguments—you’d just lock them down. But because we wanted to cater to the regulars who frequent these topics, we kept putting it off. Eventually, we hit on the idea of moving them to a section of the forum with more relaxed rules, so they can still have their space to hang out. As for ZUD, we might eventually open a new thread regarding infidelity for new people interested in the subject, but this time without all the fragmentation and the clan warfare.

Maybe just leave one locked Topic on ZUD containing three links to the relocated threads
so people don't end up lost when they come looking

Something like Google Maps: you click once and you're already there. 😁

slymaker9 said:Hi everyone!

During a recent business meeting, someone dropped this line on me with a completely straight face: "I hold myself in very high regard, but I don't even think I have the capacity to..."
For some reason, it didn't strike me as confidence. To me, it sounded more like: "Don't go thinking I'm not smart; I'm actually quite brilliant."
It felt like they were trying too hard to convince me of their intelligence, which usually points toward deep-seated insecurity.🤷
What’s your take? Are these the words of an arrogant, confident person, or someone who is fundamentally insecure?
What kind of personality says something like that, and what is their actual goal?

To me, it sounds like someone who actually knows where their limits are.

You didn't exactly hand-pick your parents (though I suppose some of those esoteric circles might disagree with me on that one 😛)
but if they’ve already gone ahead and dictated—well, let's call it "shaped"—your past,
then why on earth are you letting them dictate your future too?

do you really want to spend every single moment surrendering to melancholy,
just letting life toss you around like a wave hitting the rocky coast
or would you rather actually grab the wheel and steer your own life for once?

the key is sitting right there in your hands.

Keith Jones76 said:Yeah, society is a mess right now. So what's the move? We *are* that society. Honestly, how many of us have actually stepped up to fix any of the issues we complain about? Exactly—zero. It’s not like some aliens are going to drop from the sky and fix everything for us. And sitting here behind a screen on a forum? That doesn't count either, and yeah, I'm guilty of that too. Let's just face facts and take some damn responsibility.

It’s incredibly easy to be "all for" something when you assume someone else is going to do all the heavy lifting. Then everyone just waits around for a miracle. People get worked up, screaming on internet forums because they think their mere opinion entitles them to instant results. It’s delusional. You see these "ideologues" everywhere—plenty of talkers, but nobody wants to actually put in the work unless they get to audit everyone else's privileges first. The second you try to organize an actual project or build something real, those "visionaries" vanish into thin air. One person can't carry the whole world on their back; I know that from experience. So, who exactly are we all waiting for?

...
I've got work to do.

I'm with you on that.

I don't know about you, but I actually have a bit of a roadmap laid out:
Once my kid grows up and hits 18—you know, once they finally move out—I plan on moving back.
In the meantime, I'll need to get my degree officially recognized here in the States, maybe take some extra courses to cover any gaps, stuff like that...
My goal is to open a small, client-centered assisted living facility, something intimate with maybe 14 or 15 residents at most.
I don't want it to be just a job, either; I want it to be a lifestyle—a way of living alongside seniors.
I've already bought the land.
So, really, it’s just a matter of timing and... well, "the right time."
That's pretty much my life's dream, my purpose, my North Star.

....but I suppose everyone needs to start by working on themselves first.🙂

So, Bill, if that's how you feel, why on earth aren't you voting then?

Copied from Reddit:

Robert Morgan732 said:you're spreading misinformation🤣

It isn't misinformation at all.

I suppose it’s just important that someone actually bothers to type something out so others can see it.
The rest of you have enough sense to decide for yourselves whether it's true or not,
and weigh what seems objectively right.

Besides, isn't "Bone" basically just a clone of himself?

Copy from Reddit:

Robert Morgan732 said:it’s obvious right away and doesn't count as "legitimate" voting... we aren't interested in fraud or rigged systems.

This is supposed to be a created democratic process and a reflection of what our valued forum members think.

Please, cast your votes.

What isn't being counted?
Yeah, it's already been included (two votes from that Taco Bell guy, Megan White4—whatever).

And you really messed up the democracy part here: there isn't a single neutral option, nor an option for Kim Kardashian.

I honestly don't know why you're so convinced this is actually democratic.
Pass the joint, maybe then I'll see what you're seeing.🙂

I’ve honestly never heard of anyone actually voting for number one.
Are those some of your clones, Robert Morgan732? 😁

Some guy voted for you twice.
I mean, I could probably go in there and vote fifty times myself if I felt like it, but I don't think you'd appreciate that.
At this rate, we’ll probably have dead people showing up to cast ballots soon enough.😂
He completely ruined the poll, and honestly, I can't say I feel bad about it.🤣

I mostly just hang out here or post about my pets; I read most other stuff, but I don't really comment much.
I mean, what's there to complain about? Honestly, we should probably all be a bit more careful about what we post, given there are rules in place.
Anyway, goodnight. I'm heading to bed; my son is basically kicking me off the computer.😁

That’s kind of what I was thinking,
mainly because the poll feels pretty one-sided.
But, I guess I got a bit tired of Robert Morgan732's little pre-election campaign,
so I decided to vote for the mildest option (just a warning 🙄). I mean, seriously, Robert Morgan732, who are you to be handing out warnings? 🤷)
It’s purely for the statistics, just so things don't lean too heavily toward option 1 or 2.

Robert Morgan732 said:Hey everyone,

I just started a poll over on the "Feedback and Suggestions" sub-forum, and I'll leave it up for about a month.

!!! YOUR POLL IS TOTAL GARBAGE !!!

You didn't include a single option IN FAVOR of Kim Kardashian (so much for "democracy," right? 🙄)

Well, personally, I’m voting FOR Kim Kardashian!!!
And honestly, hats off to her.
She handles the absolute most thankless job on this entire site...

So, who else would you even pick?
I mean, why bother arguing with people like you—whether you're a stoner, Robert Morgan732, or whatever?
Then you just end up catching a massive wave of criticism afterward.
And for what?
Just because you insist on following the rules...

What do you think would happen if someone else took over? Do you really think the rules would just vanish like local small-town newspapers? 🤣
This isn't some backyard hangout; this is a public medium.

Social services are just another part of the general American geriatric absurdity

And honestly? Social services haven't given a damn about me either, not even a little bit.

Keith Jones76 said:It’s no secret that our healthcare system is struggling, and geriatric care is one of the biggest gaps in the coverage. That said, things might actually start looking up once we align our standards with the USA. We should see a dedicated geriatrics specialization introduced soon—likely within the next couple of years.

Geriatrics isn't the only issue here.
The real problem is the lack of "awareness" at a national level.
The US doesn't seem to put any effort into raising awareness about the elderly and what they actually need.
Government agencies just aren't coordinated.

To give you a specific example, one of the rotations I had to complete during my training over in the Netherlands was in psychiatry—specifically geriatric intake.
I honestly wouldn't have believed the types of cases that were coming in and how they were being handled.
I have nothing but the most exhausted thoughts on it.

When I went to see her, it was heartbreaking.
In this overcrowded ward full of "delusional ghosts," in rooms packed to capacity with agitated patients who couldn't stay still.
It was a total shock to my system.

And for her... well,
they told me about her so vividly it was hard to swallow.
(And why did they pump her full of Haldol? Because she kept screaming, "Where are they?!", just pure paranoia.)
She couldn't eat, and heaven forbid they would try to tube-feed her, considering they had already brought her to this state. 🙄

I didn't even have the right to take her anywhere or do anything.
And where would I have taken her? In the country where I was working, not a single insurance provider wanted to accept an elderly woman in her condition.
By the time I managed to process everything, she had already passed away.

The lack of support from her own family was also devastating.
They dragged their feet on getting her into an assisted living facility (mostly just to avoid paying for it themselves) 😠 until the very last second.
They even refused to let me sign off stating that I would be her primary caregiver and cover all costs myself—just so she wouldn't try to claim her fair share of an inheritance later on, I guess. 🙄
Then, when things finally reached a breaking point, she was no longer capable of adapting to any kind of residential home; it was a straight line to the psychiatric ward.
As her grandchild, nobody would even listen to me, let alone take my concerns seriously, even though her own son was right there.
Everyone either acted like they didn't know what was happening or was completely oblivious to how dire the situation really was.

Drew Morgan said:It’s clear the grandmother has decided to just blow through her savings. This isn't just vanity; it's reckless financial destruction.

In the States, people handle this by putting seniors in assisted living where things move quickly. 😢 In this specific case, you might even need more forceful intervention since the grandmother refuses to cooperate. From her perspective, she's the only sane one left.

See, that is exactly what happened to my grandmother:
it wasn't "just" the illness that took her
nor was it "just" the state of the mental health facilities here in America
it was a combination of both, coupled with a lack of real support and genuine care from her own family

I work in healthcare myself
and when I was washing that body, it spoke to me
it spoke louder than any book ever could about what they did to him
and everything he had been subjected to during those last 40 days of his life

that kind of thing... you don't just move past it.

Drew Morgan said:Nobody said there were any signs of suicidal tendencies. But fine—theoretically, anything is possible. Even if hospitalization prevents her from taking her own life, she'll likely end up dead anyway. I don't know, maybe there's some high-end sanatorium in Switzerland costing over $1,000 a day that could change the outcome, but within our current system? I doubt it. I'm talking about psychiatric or geriatric wards here. Maybe an internal medicine ward is different. Who knows...

What really gets to me is how this kind of systemic failure is just accepted as "normal"

To me, that is the ultimate tragedy.
It’s also probably why nothing has changed regarding this issue for years now.

A TOTAL SYSTEMIC FAILURE! ! !

Adam Miller46 said:This really does sound like an imaginary friend from childhood. My thought is that, given what was mentioned above, Grandma likely knows he isn't real, but creating him makes it easier to deal with the loneliness... and she simply doesn't want to let go, because honestly, what else is she getting in return??? Almost zero attention from the family, which isn't pleasant, and she probably feels unloved or left out... besides, if someone is highly intelligent and imaginative, they can't just flip a switch and turn their brain off to become a vegetable... instead of treating her like some freak who needs to be analyzed, maybe it wouldn't hurt to communicate with her more, so she sees she can get love and support in reality and doesn't have to seek it in her imagination...
I heard a story once about a gentleman who would walk or sit on a park bench every single day with his wife. Their conversations were lively and very intelligent... there was just one issue: the wife was invisible, meaning she had passed away a long time ago. But that didn't stop him from keeping her alive within himself... people would wonder who he was talking to, but when they spoke to him, he would respond quite intelligently; he didn't sound like a schizophrenic talking to a ghost... I suspect his imagination is exactly what keeps him going. Sometimes people feel so miserable and lonely that they'd rather end it all, and a psychiatrist once noted that what looks like psychosis to outsiders is often the final defense mechanism a personality uses to prevent suicide. So, just let Grandma have her joy, if you aren't able to fully replace it....

🙏 🙏

Drew Morgan said:So, you're admitting they exist in Alzheimer's patients after all? Look at how they "treated" my friend's grandmother for neurological issues at the local VA hospital—they practically kept her strapped to a bed. A close acquaintance told me about her grandmother, who was battling cancer but remained completely lucid. One time, she showed a bit of her old-school grit and temper, and they immediately pumped her full of Haldol! They hit her with antipsychotics that were strictly contraindicated because of her heart condition. She believes those doctors at the geriatric ward essentially killed her.

They tied my grandmother down and drugged her with Haldol.
It happened at the psychiatric facility near Jankomir, if I recall correctly... she was in some kind of deep depression.
(If necessary, I can provide my full legal name and sign whatever is required.)
She was so heavily sedated she couldn't eat enough, so she wasted away in what felt like a heartbeat.
She developed pressure sores from being strapped to the bed,
and she passed away within forty days.
Without a shred of human dignity.
Without any loved one there to hold her hand.
Without a priest.

4 0 D A Y S !!!
That is more than enough time to break a human life.
(I honestly find it strange how journalists often pull their inspiration from forums, yet nobody ever seems to write anything about the inhumane conditions in these psychiatric institutions.)

And the conditions they kept her in (and yes, I say "kept," because she was treated worse than a prisoner): any sane person would lose their mind if they were placed in a spot like that.

I wonder why I, as her granddaughter, didn't have a say, even though I was right there alongside her son, my uncle.
Because if I could have, I would have pulled her out of there.
But they wouldn't let me.
The only thing I could have done was snatch her away myself.
And now, I suppose, I regret that I didn't, because that might have been the only way.

Sarah Rodriguez4 said:😢 me too, I just remembered my own grandmother... She was also pretty lonely, and suddenly this hit her hard. We took her to doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists—you name it—and nobody could tell us anything; they all insisted she was perfectly fine and healthy for her age. Then she turned aggressive, so they put her on some sedatives, but they still maintained nothing was wrong. Meanwhile, she was seeing her late sisters, brothers, her son, even her old childhood hometown. She lost track of whether it was day or night, stopped sleeping, and would wander aimlessly around town picking flowers, leaving us frantic trying to find her. It was just pure chaos. In the end, after two years of that struggle, she passed away. Ten days before she died, she was admitted to a psychiatric ward for a week, and when she came out, she was basically a shell of herself. She passed shortly after. To this day, we still don't know exactly what happened to her 😢

I honestly don't know what to say to you. I really hope your grandmother gets better and that someone can provide the help she needs. Hang in there—don't give up on her 😘

What happened with us was almost identical to what you're going through. My grandmother passed away the exact same way. The only difference was that she ended up dying in a psychiatric facility. 😢
I guess I still haven't truly processed that last part.