I actually had this whole grand design to reinvent myself—you know, I was dealing with some mental hurdles that were basically keeping me stuck in neutral, but I’ve pretty much worked through most of that. Once those walls came down, everything else just seemed to fall into place... if that even makes sense? It’s hard to put a finger on how to describe it differently. As for my other goals, I’m still right in the middle of executing them, so we'll just have to see how the dust settles, but for now, I’m feeling pretty optimistic 🙂
New Year's resolutions are absolute garbage 😁 Honestly, I make my moves whenever I feel like it—regardless of what the calendar says—and frankly, they’re already working 🙂
Just like what gentledrifter6 was saying, you really need to go out there and hunt for some actual interests. Even if you’re staring at a blank wall because you have no clue what actually clicks—believe me, I’ve been there myself—just try a bunch of different things. Give it some breathing room; take your time, and eventually, the stuff you love versus the stuff you hate will start to separate itself. As for how to force yourself to actually *start*? Honestly, I haven't got a magic formula for that. You just have to dive in and convince yourself that it's necessary—I mean, technically you don't *have* to do anything, but let's be real: I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life stuck in this exact same rut, which is probably why you're looking for help in the first place... that's basically my take on it. That’s exactly how I handled it, and it worked for me.
Kimberly Wood72 said:I don't see how you can call that a real friendship if being around them just makes you feel stupid and leaves you constantly dwelling on it.
Exactly... that's the thing. But look, if you're insisting this person is actually a true friend, then for heaven's sake, try talking to them! Sit them down and address the issue head-on to see if it can be fixed. If they won't budge? Then honestly, why bother? There’s absolutely no point in exhausting yourself trying to manage someone else's perception of you—you shouldn't have to spend your life proving your worth to anyone.
Oh, just wonderful... I’ve got a urologist appointment coming up in three weeks, and honestly, I’m already on edge—I just really hope I don't end up with some wide-eyed med student jumping into the exam mid-way through. 🙄
wirednomad42 said:I was just picturing one of those pathology interns being all polite and asking the patient, "If you don't mind, we'd just like to..." 😁
crimsonheron80 said:Nothing truly exists Sometimes you pause, sometimes you push forward The choice is yours, the decision is yours When will you finally make your move? When?
Is it out of boredom or just pure habit? Are you too afraid to put your heart on the line? Perhaps everything will just fall into place, perhaps it all just appears Spontaneously, just like that
Pure legend 😁
My advice? Feed yourself with positive thoughts. Always stay positive. There really isn't any other way...
Get moving... change yourself... 🙂
Bare is an absolute king; he always knows how to lift my spirits 🙂
By the way—if anyone is actually looking for something to watch, I stumbled upon this one site I use to grab movies. Most of the links point toward RapidShare... it’s got a massive selection of European cinema, and according to the list, there are about 200 Russian films on there too. If you're interested, just shoot me a PM and I'll get you sorted.
Most decent, high-quality European cinema tends to show up way too late for the mainstream crowd—it’s almost always an afterthought. Honestly, thank God we have the internet and specific streaming sites to dig through, because if it weren't for that, we'd all be stuck watching nothing but pure commercial garbage.
I know I originally started this thread specifically to dive deep into *Gummo*, but honestly—I can’t help myself—I have to mention that I just finished watching *Julien Donkey-Boy*. I’m still sitting here trying to process everything and sort through my initial impressions... 🙏 Regarding Ewen Bremner—
Since we’re already on the subject of Harmony Korine—honestly, I’ve been meaning to sit down and actually watch Julien Donkey-Boy. I only just heard about the film recently, and now I’m genuinely curious about it. I’ll have to track it down somewhere soon...
Alright, let's see where everyone stands on this one... people are constantly split on this movie—half the crowd treats it like some untouchable cult masterpiece, while the other half just spits on it, calling it mindless garbage. I stumbled upon it a few months back quite by accident, and honestly? It left me with this incredibly intense, bizarre impression that I can't quite shake. I actually dig how it’s put together; there's this raw, almost pseudo-documentary vibe to the whole thing that really works for me. What do you guys think? Is there anyone even here who's actually sat through it?
placidranger said:First off—the article is written like a sensationalist rag; the headline makes it sound like some groundbreaking news when it isn't. Second—we were drinking in school, hanging out behind the building, smoking, and passing out by seventh grade. We were just as "normal" as anyone else. That generation produced doctors and lawyers alongside total losers, all of whom were drinking together. It’s not like times have changed or kids are suddenly different—my old man's generation lived the exact same way.
My grandmother didn't even attend school; she was busy playing in the dirt and tending to sheep. 😁
You guys were some kind of advanced generation; all we did was trade Pokémon cards.😁 Alright, jokes aside for a second... I remember a small group of kids sneaking off to smoke behind the school, but I honestly don't recall everyone doing it, and I certainly don't believe it was that widespread—at least not during middle school...
Seriously, what am I even supposed to say about this? What the hell is wrong with those kids? I mean—honestly—what on earth is actually going on inside their heads?
Could I run into some trouble if I decide to get inked while I'm on Cipralex? I know most medications are a big no-no right before a tattoo session—it's common sense, really—but I'm stuck wondering if Cipralex falls into that same risky category. I've heard so many conflicting opinions floating around out there, and honestly, it's just confusing me...
silverowl8 said:Hey everyone. Honestly, I don't even know where to start. My head is just a total mess right now and I can't even put a finger on how I’m actually feeling... The biggest thing, maybe, is this crushing sense that life is just passing me by while I sit here on the sidelines... like time is sprinting ahead and I can't catch the damn rhythm... if that makes any sense. I feel like I'm constantly wasting time and I just can't get myself moving. Most days I'm just bored out of my mind, which isn't who I am—deep down, I'm an adventurer, an active guy, and I absolutely hate sitting around doing nothing productive. But there it is. It's like I have this internal brake pulled tight... like I'm actively sabotaging myself... Truth is, I don't even know what I like anymore... I can barely find joy in anything.
It feels like I've been dealing with anxiety and dysthymia for about four years now, and it's gotten way worse over the last year. Lately, indecision is killing me. I struggle to make even the smallest choices, and when I finally do, they're usually the wrong ones, which just eats at me. A little context: it's hard for me to talk about this because there are things I'm even afraid to admit to myself... like how ever since I started high school, most of my days have just been spent spinning my wheels. I regret that so much. I wish I could turn back the clock, but I know I can't, so I just sit here suffering for no reason. I used to play sports before high school, and back then, I was actually pretty happy and fulfilled. Even though I had some anxiety back then, too.
I'm constantly on edge. I always have this knot of nerves in my stomach and my brain won't stop racing... it's exhausting, it just drains everything out of me. The worst part is that all this overthinking leads nowhere. It's like the more I obsess over something, the less I actually understand it. For example, I agonized for ages over which college to go to... I thought about it all day long, yet nothing felt clear. In the end, I made a massive mistake and enrolled in a local community college right here in my small hometown, and God knows how much I regret it. I really wanted to go to a big university in a major city like Chicago or NYC, somewhere I could have some privacy and independence, but I realized that too late. For the past few months—especially these last few days—I've been stuck in a loop thinking about how much of a fatal error that was. I know people have much bigger problems than me, but trust me, right now, this feels catastrophic. Don't think I'm being some spoiled brat; it's not like my life has been pure misery, but it definitely hasn't been sunshine and rainbows either.
Also, lately, almost everyone gets on my nerves. And obviously, it's not them—it's me. I know I'm the one at fault and I want to change, but I have no clue how. Like my friends... almost everything they say bugs me. Every single sentence seems to grate on me. Sometimes I feel this heavy tension when we hang out, but I feel like I have to go, I can't just sit at home, and finding actual good friends is hard enough as it is.
Believe me, opening up like this is incredibly difficult for me. I don't open up easily, and it's even harder to be honest with myself. Feel free to ask anything if you're curious. Lately, I've just been so confused. Nothing makes sense. I don't know what I should do or shouldn't do, and making decisions is a nightmare.
Tomorrow, if my head clears up even a little bit 🙂 , I might try to write a shorter post with just the essentials... I just can't do it right now. Do I need a psychiatrist? I honestly think so, because it feels like I can't help myself. I want to change, but I can't. It's like I'm intentionally holding myself back and choking my own progress 😕
Sorry for the wall of text, but there's just so much swirling around in my head and it's all a mess... absolute chaos. I hope someone finds it worth reading and tries to understand where I'm coming from... it won't be easy because even I don't quite know how I feel. Anyway, it's not like I'm in a deep, dark depression or anything—it's not like everything is pitch black—but it's certainly not white either. Everything just feels gray right now. I can never seem to enjoy anything, and I rarely have those days where I can say, "Man, today was awesome, I want to do that again." It would be nice if that happened even once a month, but nope... Look, I mean, I *could* survive like this, but why would I? I don't want to just scrape by—I want to actually live life to the fullest, you know? Taste everything, feel everything... but honestly, I’m stuck. I have no clue how to even start. I need some real advice, some actual support, maybe a kick in the pants to get motivated... Anyway, I'm 19.
Man, I totally get where you're coming from because I am stuck in that exact same headspace right now. A few months back, I finally bit the bullet and went to see a psychiatrist—ended up getting some medication, and honestly? It’s been a game changer for the anxiety and social phobia stuff, which used to absolutely wreck me. But the depression... that's a different story. That still hits hard. Some days are manageable, other days are just a straight-up slog, and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself. I have plenty of interests—really, I do—but actually getting off the couch and taking that first step? That's the hardest part, hands down. Things have been looking up a tiny bit lately, though—even if I feel like if I pushed myself harder, I could be doing even better... I don't really know what else to tell you, but just know you aren't alone in this. I'm about a year older than you, if that helps at all.
Lately, I’ve been diving deep into Swedish cinema—partly because I wanted a break from the endless loop of Hollywood blockbusters and British dramas, and partly just to challenge myself by exploring a different linguistic landscape. I was wondering if there are any fellow cinephiles here who share this obsession? Specifically, I’m looking for some guidance on where to start with Ingmar Bergman. I haven't actually sat through one of his films yet, and frankly, looking at his massive filmography is a bit overwhelming—the man produced an incredible amount of work! Any recommendations on a good entry point?