Posts by James Collins12

Hi everyone,
does anyone know a reliable way to send a package to an address here in the States anonymously? I need to be absolutely certain it actually reaches its destination, even if my identity stays hidden.

Basically, I’m looking to send some Christmas gifts to a family, but I want it to be a total surprise—I don't want them to know who they're from.

Based on the thread title, I was under the impression the guy was looking for someone to pamper him up, and that he needed it urgently.

You’ve taken such a brave first step, and I truly admire that determination. I have full confidence that you’ll be able to get back to your former silhouette. It’s definitely a balancing act—you really have to carve out those little windows of time to exercise and focus on self-care, especially while your little one is still so small. You look beautiful and have such a lovely, approachable energy about you. I really hope you have a solid support system at home to cheer you on through this journey.

Swimming, if you have the chance, or maybe even some water aerobics

Anthony Johnson4 said:So, what's the move here? What do you guys think I should actually do about this?

You might consider reaching out to the school counselor, an educator, or even her homeroom teacher. You could just give them a quick call—there’s no need to even introduce yourself if you aren't comfortable. I'm fairly certain someone there would step up to help her out.

Thomas Brooks13 said:So, I figured I’d jump in here too...
First off, I totally get where you're coming from, because I've definitely been spiraling in those same kinds of thoughts before.
From what I can see, you've fallen into this vicious cycle that you absolutely HAVE to break. Luckily, breaking out of it is actually pretty easy if you just stop hiding away in your apartment and wallowing in self-pity! Here's my advice: find an activity that physically wears you out. It’s basically using physical exhaustion to regulate those messy emotional states. Once you're wiped out, your body naturally starts pumping out those feel-good hormones. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it really tires you out, though I’d personally suggest hitting some hiking trails a few times a week—maybe head out to somewhere like the Blue Ridge Mountains or even just a nice local park. Nature is seriously healing. Also, blast some music, but stay far away from anything depressing. You should start feeling a bit more like yourself after a while.

If you let your thoughts run wild, your own mind can honestly become your worst enemy.

You studied law, right? Man, I am so sorry.

Don't sweat it, though—23 is definitely not too late for a fresh start. I'm actually 23 myself, and I'm ditching law school to start over at a different university, and honestly, I'm thriving.

And here’s my take on that whole clone thing.

It doesn't really matter if you think you're a clone or whatever; everyone just wants to feel unique or stand out from the crowd because of our egos. Just ignore "the system"! Learn to appreciate who you are, because at the end of the day, you're the only person you've got, so you might as well be your own best friend!

Learn how to actually enjoy life, but don't just sit around being lazy about it!

Hang in there! Keep your chin up!👍

Great advice!!! 🙂

dustywolf13 said:How should I put this diplomatically? Hmm... basically, my sister told me to get my act together and stop wasting my life about a year ago. She clearly knows me better than I know myself, and honestly? She was spot on. My first choice for college... man, I don't think I'll ever go back there, but it doesn't even matter. I switched to a different program—something I actually give a damn about—and everything changed. My whole vibe shifted, and suddenly life started happening. I met new people, reconnected with old friends, and stopped being that "black hole" everyone used to say I was. Just find something in life, anything that makes you feel alive, and chase it, no matter how trivial it looks to everyone else. JUST MOVE FORWARD; there's zero point sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. A year ago, I never would've dreamed of writing something like this, but things change. You just have to take that first step. And as for anyone needing a friend, seriously, shoot me a DM and I'll grab you a coffee and listen. I needed someone once, someone listened to me, and now I'm paying it forward. Gosh, look at me 😍

Keep your head up, kid. It’s not over yet 👍

Now, this is what I call real support. 🙂

And more importantly, the person is speaking from genuine experience. 🙂

John Fisher4 said:

For example, she needs to be out of her pajamas by 11:00 AM at the latest to walk around the neighborhood—or better yet, go for a light jog.

🙂
She doesn't have enough time to just drift through life like that. 🙂
She needs to snap out of this half-asleep state ASAP. 🤷 She’s gotta realize she’s still alive (even if she feels like a 😳 ). She needs to feel something that actually excites or moves her! Eventually, her body will crave stimulation, activity, something new, a fresh goal... 😉

Think of this as that essential first spark to jumpstart her morning. It’s about finding that one ritual—something small but intentional—that she can claim entirely for herself before the rest of the world starts demanding her attention. It’s much like how a professional athlete prepares before a big game; they don't just walk onto the field cold. They prime their body and mind first. When you dedicate those first few moments of the day to your own well-being, it creates a ripple effect. You carry that sense of accomplishment forward, feeling more energized, productive, and mentally agile as the hours pass. It sets a positive tone that makes navigating the daily grind feel significantly smoother.
I truly believe that most of us have found ourselves navigating those particular seasons of life—those stretches of time that either feel like they’re dragging on forever or seem to slip through our fingers in the blink of an eye.
It felt as though everyone was being pulled in a completely different direction.
If you find yourself waiting for someone else to give you a nudge or provide that necessary spark, you might be waiting forever. Sometimes, there isn't a mentor, a boss, or even a lucky break coming to pull you up the ladder. In those moments, you simply have to be your own catalyst. You have to grab yourself by the shoulders and push forward, because if you don't take that initiative, you’ll just end up standing exactly where you are, watching the world move on without you.

Well, let’s all just admit it—and I mean everyone here, let's say it together now—we aren't just guessing. We are speaking from firsthand experience.

Mark Martinez4 said:Honestly, she doesn't need a man or a woman—she's perfectly fine just being herself.
She’s really looking for that perfect trifecta—you know, that specific blend of high-stakes risk, a genuine adrenaline rush, and a job that actually pushes her to her limits—because, let's face it, she needs that sense of pressure to feel truly engaged.

I’m speaking from direct experience here—believe me, I’ve been through it myself.

At some point, you have to make a definitive choice about what you truly want. It means stepping out of the self-pity cycle, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and finally taking a step in a productive direction. To start small, maybe set a goal to be out of your pajamas by 11:00 AM every single day—just get out for a walk around the neighborhood, or better yet, go for a light jog.

...again, I'm speaking from experience. 🙂

Do you find yourself struggling with guilt over those "lost" years, or are you just feeling stuck in neutral? Have you actually sat down and had an honest conversation with yourself about college—do you even want to finish that degree, pivot to something else, or just walk away from academia entirely?
In my experience, things tend to fall into place naturally once you gain some clarity on your true passions and actually commit to taking that first step forward.
It feels to me like the core of the issue is simply that you haven't quite figured out what your North Star is yet.

I recently picked up a minor traffic violation (fine $167), and I was wondering if there's any possibility of having it downgraded to a simple warning, or perhaps even settling the amount through community service instead of cash.
If anyone here has experience navigating this kind of thing, I would truly appreciate your insight! Thank you so much!!

silverrider52 said:Hello.

I honestly hoped I would never find myself in a position where I had to reach out for help regarding this subject, but the situation has become genuinely serious...

Sports have always been a huge part of my life—soccer, above all else. I come from a traditional soccer family where almost every male descendant has spent their entire lives tied to the game. I spent my youth playing for a local club, though I eventually stepped away from active play to focus on my studies. Even now, I’m always down for a pickup game with friends..

However, starting back in 2000, I began replacing the thrill of watching sports on the field with sports betting. My entry into this world was heavily influenced by my surroundings—specifically certain friends and family members, including those closest to me who had already wandered into this territory before I did. In the beginning, it was just a single parlay here or there, just something to stay involved. Nothing about that phase was abnormal... I bet here and there; it wasn't a daily grind, but it was consistent. That went on for three or four years, and during that time, I was just one of many people caught up in this cycle—part of a larger demographic that experts really ought to be looking into when discussing social issues within most North American countries...

But in 2005, after five years of amateur experience, I transitioned to online betting and the internet. That was what really pulled me under. The statistics, the data, the probabilities, the calculations... it sucked me into that world immediately, and I dove in much deeper than I intended right from the jump. I should mention that beyond soccer, I’ve always had a deep affinity for math and computation. It was a core interest of mine, and I was always the top student in subjects like math, accounting, and statistics...

From 2005 to 2008, I was betting every single day. It escalated to the point where I was placing wagers nearly every day, even on days when there were barely any sporting events on the slate. Beyond just draining my finances, this habit started consuming more and more of my free time. During that period, however, I never faced actual financial crises. I stuck to the golden rule of gambling: I only bet what I could afford to lose. But starting around 2007, I began to feel—even if I couldn't quite articulate why—that betting provided me with a far greater sense of satisfaction than the normal things that are supposed to make a person happy. For instance, I’d rather stay in and track bets and scores than go out with friends to a movie, grab a coffee, or visit someone..
Day by day, I could clearly feel the addiction spreading within me, a slow surrender to the impulse. Yet, I still felt like I had some semblance of control; I was still just one person among a massive population of people who gamble and follow sports every day. By then, a significant portion of my time was spent glued to the scoreboards on TV or the internet. I started feeling a disconnect from the "normal" world, and conflicts with my loved ones became more frequent because I would insist on staying tuned in, even when I had much more important or productive things to attend to...

But since 2008, the situation has shifted significantly toward a downward spiral. The first major financial hits arrived. During 2008, I actually hit a true financial crisis twice due to a total loss of control, excessive wagering, and hemorrhaging money. Both times, I somehow managed to dig myself out, hoping I wouldn't end up in that hole again. I've learned a lot about betting—far more than is necessary to be successful at it. I've mastered methods and strategies that would allow an average bettor to be financially profitable. When I stick to those rules and principles, I actually make money through betting. But the problem is the loss of control; in those moments, I lose my footing and fall incredibly deep. I don't know how to explain it, but financially, it looks like this: I might spend seven days of grueling work, research, and studying sports events to earn, say, $500 or $1,000, only to lose all of that—plus my own hard-earned savings—in a matter of hours during a chaotic state where my concentration and self-control simply vanish. When I hit a losing streak, I lose my mind. I lose my confidence and start making stupid plays that I would never dream of making while in a conscious, rational state. This leads to total financial collapse. As I mentioned, I had two such collapses in 2008, and now, in this current year of 2009, I've lived through it twice again. This last time hit especially hard, and I truly feel that the moment has come to radically change my life, because I can feel that I won't get very far if I continue like this.

I’m fully aware that I’ve got a gambling addiction. Honestly, being conscious of it is the only thing helping me right now. Ever since I finally admitted it to myself, I’ve been trying to fill my time with other stuff—just like any other normal person would—but the truth is, I’m still doing it. It’s constant. Every single day. Now that winter is hitting, it’s even harder to gauge how deep the hole actually goes, because even regular people are stuck indoors more often, glued to the TV or scrolling through their phones. But for me, it’s always tied to a bet. Over the last two months, the realization has really sunk in: I can’t seem to get through a single day without placing something. There’s this pull, this internal itch to have a ticket active, like I need to be part of that world just to feel connected to anything. That’s when it hit me—this is serious. Maybe even too late to turn things around. Look, I’m no psychologist, but from where I’m sitting, this feels like a massive problem.

I’m reaching out to anyone here who understands this, or maybe even professionals who follow this thread, asking for advice on how to tackle this effectively. How do I fix this, or at least take the edge off this situation? If you’re asking if I’m ready to quit cold turkey right now, I have to be honest: no. I can’t imagine life without having a slip in my hand, especially when there's big action on the schedule—weekends, Champions League, or whatever else is on. What am I supposed to do?

Are you working right now? Do you have a girlfriend or someone close in your life that you could confide in—someone you could trust to help hold you accountable? In my experience, pairing that kind of support with a session with a solid psychologist can make a world of difference.

Angela Newman33 said:What usually gets under my skin the most isn't even about the lack of kids—it’s the women who seem perpetually frustrated and miserable... just constantly taking it out on their families. They walk around every single day with this martyr complex written all over their faces... acting like they’re "sacrificing" everything for their children... carrying themselves like being a selfless parent is the most noble thing a human can achieve in the world.
And then, of course, they go around preaching that having babies is the ultimate dream, the meaning of life, blah blah blah...

But if you look past the act, it feels like there's this subconscious envy toward people who don't have to carry that specific "burden"... toward those who actually have the freedom to choose their own path... toward the people who are brave enough to admit that this "sacred mission" of motherhood doesn't actually appeal to them at all.

It’s like they’ve made it their life's work to churn out as many clones as possible... kids who end up just as overwhelmed and restricted... just as frustrated and fed up with life as they are.

It’s weird, honestly... in my experience, the people with the most kids often turn out to be the worst parents. They pop out a whole crowd and then spend every day rubbing it in their faces how much they suffer for them... as if the kids actually asked to be "carried on their backs." To me, that seems way more selfish than the decision to stay childless simply because you don't feel the need or desire to have them.

Someone who has kids just to satisfy their own ego definitely isn't doing it out of selflessness.

I’d bet anything that a good parent is someone who is already happy, fulfilled, and whole on their own... rather than someone searching for that outside of themselves and expecting their children to make them happy or complete them.

At the end of the day, someone who didn't plan on having kids (if one happens unexpectedly) can be just as great a parent as someone who planned every step... it really just comes down to attitude and accepting whatever life throws at you.

People who have kids just because they think they "should," because society expects it, because they think it'll make them happy, because they’re afraid of being lonely one day, or just because babies are cute... I honestly think they're doing it for all the wrong reasons.

👍

granitebadger said:I’m posting this in good faith, and I’m new here, but I can hardly believe what I’m reading. Think about it: why don't you want that child? Is it because, deep down, you’re still just emotionally stunted little girls who think life is about receiving attention rather than giving it? Where does all this coldness come from, hidden behind such ridiculous rhetoric?
I agree that everyone has a right to choose, and I support that. But spiritually immature women—those who will always remain small and needy—should be denied sterilization.
Otherwise, if you do have a child, they will turn out exactly like you: bitter and pathetic. They won't have anyone to turn to. So perhaps it is better that you don't give birth. It's sad. You call this "reproduction"? It’s a textbook example of emotional immaturity. We are all shaped by our childhoods and our parents. Some people escape with minor consequences for themselves and their partners, while others face much more serious fallout. Perhaps it was an older sibling who left you feeling unloved, or perhaps it was parents who were just as cold and immature as you are now. That is the most common pattern.
For us mature women, "reproduction" isn't the only goal. However, it is a true litmus test for whether you are ready to give.
Not just take.
And you should realize that you will never reach a level of receiving that is enough for you.
It’s essentially a bottomless pit. Always wanting more, and more, and more...

This isn't a judgment. I am simply saddened by people who were so deeply neglected during their upbringing.

I am an unconventional, multifaceted person living a fast-paced life. But... I have a son, and I have dedicated myself to him completely. Wow! (The capacity to give).
Today, we are friends who laugh at the same jokes. He has style, he's witty, he's incredibly intelligent, and girls adore him. He’s kind,
---- and my greatest achievement in life.
You can be whatever you want to be in your lives, but you will never be whole individuals.
Because you aren't capable of it. Of giving.
Tragic. Truly tragic...

It’s wonderful that you wanted a child, had one, and that the act of giving brings you such a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
But I am baffled by the assumption that people who choose not to have children are somehow incomplete. Do you truly believe a child is the only thing that makes a person whole? Do you think the ability to give only manifests through parenthood? Surely, you’ve encountered incredibly selfish people who *do* have children. I’m certain you have. A truly complete person wouldn't view the world this way or judge others based on their own narrow experience.

And if you honestly believe that you and your child are "friends," I suspect you might be mistaken on that front as well.

Noah Fowler87 said:Nobody... but she’d better have at least two kids to make up for it. ☕

It feels a bit strange to me that's the case, because, as far as I understand, she doesn't actually need anyone to sign off on an abortion, or does she?

So, what if

Gerald Scott4 said:If the law actually let me, I’d have gone through with a sterilization long ago. But obviously, that's not an option since the rules say I need to already have two kids and a husband😕 who has to sign off on everything too.🤮

That raises a funny question, though—if a woman doesn't have a husband, who is supposed to sign the paperwork for her?

Ronald Parker6 said:Ugh, the pain and cramping I’m dealing with right now are just absolutely brutal. Honestly, yesterday I tried taking some Voltaren... waited an hour and felt zero relief. Then I popped some Normabel—nothing after 45 minutes either! It wasn't until I finally took some Unufen that the pain actually started to let up, even if it took half an hour to kick in. And last time, the Unufen didn't even work, so I had to resort to the Voltaren again.
(Seriously, the pain is so intense it makes me want to just give up entirely—I just want this misery to end.)
My mom keeps telling me I need to go see a gynecologist for an ultrasound... but honestly, the thought of even stepping foot in a hospital makes me so anxious. Has anyone else here dealt with this?

I truly don't see any reason why you should be afraid of going to the hospital for an ultrasound. It isn't uncomfortable at all, and it certainly doesn't hurt.
Also, I assume when you mentioned "neUfen," you were referring to Neofen.

Hannah Stewart said:I’m an emotional eater too. 😁

But look, there really is a way to prevent the weight from creeping back. In my experience, the golden rule is to never let those one or two regained pounds turn into four or five, then ten, then fifteen... You have to address it immediately! Once you actually lock in a solid, sustainable, and healthy routine, getting back on track becomes surprisingly easy. You might have a week or two where you’re just spiraling—eating everything in sight, crying, feeling stressed out by all the ups and downs of life—but then you pivot back to exercise, nutritious meals, and the rest of the lifestyle. 👍

The truth is, there is no such thing as "life after a diet." You have to keep exercising consistently, and you have to stay mindful of what you eat. That’s just how it works. The sooner you embrace that reality, the better off you'll be!

Whenever I hit what I considered my goal weight, I would set a mental "red line" for myself—sort of like a warning siren going off in my head if I crossed it.
However, I also go through these inevitable cycles where I just stop caring about everything. During those times, I unconsciously start "sabotaging" myself with food, which is clearly just my way of venting accumulated dissatisfaction, frustration, or whatever stress I'm dealing with at the moment.
It’s a relief when that phase passes and I feel energized again, starting to see the bright side of things and actually caring about myself again,
BUT the scale still shows the physical evidence of that rough patch.
Then comes that next phase where I’m absolutely furious with myself for letting things slide, and I can't help but feel frustrated by my own lapses in judgment. After that, it's just the process of gathering my strength to get myself back in shape again, and so on.

Does this cycle sound familiar to anyone else?

Robin Myers said:See, I'm not actually worried about that post-diet phase because I'm not just "on a diet"—I'm fundamentally shifting my lifestyle. I highly doubt I'll ever go back to eating the way I used to.

I completely agree; embracing a lifestyle change is truly the only sustainable path forward—something I am actively working toward right now.
However, we have to remember that changing how you live is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a long process filled with inevitable ups and downs, much like navigating a winding mountain road in the Rockies. It's full of little pitfalls and unexpected turns.
From my own experience, I've noticed that certain types of life stressors act like a tripwire for me. They trigger a sort of systemic breakdown—both mentally and physically—which eventually manifests as extra weight on the scale after a while.
I realize that I need to build up better defense mechanisms for those high-pressure moments. It's about replacing my old, reactive habits with healthier, more resilient ones. To be perfectly honest, though, I haven't quite mastered that transition yet.