Posts by Angela Gray12

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this life, it’s that the people I hit it off with instantly—those folks who feel like old friends from minute one—are usually the ones who don't stick around. Maybe I leaned in too fast. Too much trust, too much honesty, too much opening up right out of the gate. But looking back, the math never adds up; the vulnerability was always lopsided. It was just me being an idiot and acting naive.

On the flip side, the people where things were awkward at first? Those people where we had to work through some friction, maybe a misunderstanding or just a general lack of vibe during the introduction... those are the people I actually have solid relationships with today.
It’s clear to me now that we actually put in the work to understand and accept one another. That mutual effort to build a friendship means a hell of a lot more to me than those "easy" connections built on empty promises and words that clearly carry zero weight for them.

I don't have a massive circle of friends, but honestly, I'm fine with that. I’d much rather give 100% of my time and myself to a couple of real people than try to please a crowd of a hundred individuals who couldn't care less about me if their lives depended on it.

I used to have this mindset where I wouldn't expect anything in return—just give everything I had and ask for nothing. Well, that bit me in the ass more than a few times. Now, I just cut my losses. If I see a relationship—any kind of relationship—heading in the wrong direction, or if I realize I'm the only one trying to keep the engine running, I walk. I’d much rather be alone than feel lonely while standing right next to someone else.

I don't let people in easily, and once they're in, they aren't easy to shake. I tell people that upfront. But even then, one small thing—if it's real enough—can tear my guard down or slam it shut again. And when it's down? I'm the type of person who would take a bullet or a knife to the throat for you.
If someone decides to screw me over or play me for a fool, I’ll endure it for a little while. Mostly because I'm still stupid enough to care about someone who acts like they give a damn. I’ll take it and take it, but eventually, I snap. And when I do, there is no turning back. I don't just burn the bridge; I blow it up, douse the wreckage in gasoline, and once it's just a pile of ash, I sweep it up and bury it like it never existed.
My feelings for that person might never truly vanish, but once I figure out who they really are and how they operate... the second chance is gone. Forever.
We can be civil. I’ll step in if you need help with something, sure. But the friendship? The trust? That part is dead and buried.

Look, I know I can be difficult. But if I’m willing to accept someone exactly as they are, flaws and all—and if those flaws don't bother me (hell, sometimes I even find them endearing)—then I won't let that person dump their frustrations or their guilt onto me just because they messed up.

I’m not afraid of my own company, and I’ve never needed anyone in my life. But there are certain people I wanted to share it with—the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the silence. Unfortunately, those same people only needed me for a specific purpose or a specific timeframe. And once that time was up, they moved on.

People distance themselves and pretend they don't care, even when they're dying to connect. They're terrified of showing their vulnerable side or letting their true face show because they think nobody will want them that way. Fear turns us into the worst possible versions of ourselves.
I think that’s why I clicked so well with the people who were hard to get along with initially. They showed me their real selves right away. They were angry, frustrated, maybe even arrogant. But I was able to see past the armor and recognize the actual person underneath. Every day, I discover a new virtue or a new flaw that makes that person even more real to me.

Trust is incredibly hard to build, but it only takes one tiny thing to watch it all go up in smoke. It all comes down to how we react when someone tests us or pokes us exactly where it hurts the most.😁

Morgan Bishop4 said:Preach! 🙏 🙏 🙏
Especially that part in bold... honestly, there’s nothing more human or beautiful than someone having the guts to own up to what they're going through. 🧐
I'm not talking about those extreme cases where someone meets you for the first time and immediately starts venting for hours about how much their life sucks and how everything is falling apart...

Those people who moan constantly aren't being "vulnerable"—they're just exhausting and annoying. They have no substance, and frankly, they act like leeches.
They suck the life and positivity right out of you, but because they don't know how to handle it, they turn everything negative again. Then, somehow, it’s everyone else's fault, and the cycle repeats. That’s the mindset of people who believe the entire world is conspiring against them.
The so-called little 😁God
complexes.
To me, it feels like you're just putting on an act, trying to manipulate people with these "sob stories" instead of just being genuine and owning who you are.
I met this girl years ago who acted like she was untouchable—total ice queen persona. But something about her caught my interest, so I pushed past the wall. It turns out that tough exterior was just a shield for someone who had been through the wringer. We're still good friends today, and I can honestly say she's one of the best people I've ever known.

There is a massive difference between performing a role, hiding, and building a defense mechanism because life actually kicked your teeth in.

I love it when you connect with someone so deeply that they aren't ashamed to break down in front of you. When they admit they aren't okay—not because you asked, but because they know you won't judge them. Knowing someone trusts you enough to show their messy side even when things aren't perfect...
That trust, those small moments of raw honesty, mean more to me than a thousand empty compliments.

Unfortunately, people like that are becoming rare. Everyone is getting lost in a sea of insecurities, hiding behind masks of perfection and superficial connections.

I get the feeling most people today are terrified of being themselves. They're too busy running away from anyone with a "flaw" because they refuse to acknowledge their own.

Man, we really are strange creatures, aren't we? 😁

Honestly, anyone who actually knows the answer to that question doesn't even bother sweating the small stuff because they don't see the point.
I'm right there with you... I figured out the same thing a while back and just sat there in disbelief. It’s wild how the absolute bottom-feeders—the people who treat everyone else like dirt—always seem to come out on top, while the folks who nitpick every little detail get left in the dust. Why? Who knows. Most people around here will probably claim those "nitpickers" just lack a backbone, but what actually worries me is that society ends up judging the people without spines instead of the predators using them as doormats, punching bags, or total fools to manipulate. It’s like that whole social media frenzy where everyone jumps on a girl dating an abusive guy, yet nobody seems to give a damn about the actual monster he is.

The worst part is pretending to be something you're not. If you're a decent person and you do what's right, but you still end up being labeled an idiot or told you have no guts... well, so be it. At the end of the day, when you do things for others, you're really doing them for yourself. That’s just who you are, period.
It isn't some deep, heavy philosophy.😁

Take what I’ve seen—and frankly, what I’ve dealt with myself. There are people who look at nothing but their own interests. They wear these masks, acting all confident and charming, playing the role of the quintessential extrovert. But I've realized that most of them are the exact opposite of the persona they project. Once you see through the act and accept that they're just flawed humans, they’ll start treating you like trash. They'll do everything in their power to push you away—or rather, make sure you walk away yourself—because they can't stand the thought of looking like a bad person in front of others.
Anyone who puts on a performance or feels "too much" right from the jump usually ends up being a fleeting character in my life. I'd much rather deal with people who have flaws, who have outbursts, who are honest and vulnerable enough to admit to themselves and others that they're fighting their own demons. I prefer someone facing their issues head-on rather than someone running away from who they truly are.

Honestly, it’s way easier to list the actors who actually deliver than the ones who don't, but fine—I'll give you my take on the ones who just feel the exact same in every single role, whatever...
Johnny Depp - The guy is just exhausting to watch. I've genuinely tried to sit through one of his movies all the way to the end, but I just can't make it happen.
Nicolas Cage - The dude simply doesn't know how to act. His whole "style" is basically just overacting, which most people just laugh at anyway.
Brad Pitt - Maybe he'll stumble into a decent performance once in a while, but as far as I'm concerned, he's just not a great actor.
Orlando Bloom - I can't tell if it's his acting or just that accent that irritates me more.
Shia LaBeouf and his co-star from Transformers - Just bottom-of-the-barrel talent there. Total flops.
Natalie Portman - She's basically coasting on past glory at this point. Everyone was obsessed with her in Black Swan, she grabs an Oscar, and then she shows up in Thor looking like she's constantly struggling to remember her own lines!!!

Man, there are so many... like I said, it's much simpler to just name the ones who are actually good, the ones who can actually leave you breathless with their talent.

Man... there’s just no future for you guys right now. Maybe in a few years, once the dust finally settles and you’ve actually gone a while without seeing or even talking to each other? But that’s a massive "maybe" at best.
Look, what you're dealing with here is actually pretty heavy stuff. It’s great that you have that spark—that chemistry or whatever connection one of you is clearly too terrified to admit exists—but that tension just keeps building because you aren't actually "venting" it. Think of it like pressure building up in a steam pipe; if you don't release it, eventually, big bang—boom—you've got a massive blowout fight on your hands.

Try pulling apart a little. See if you can actually hold out and go radio silent for a bit. A long time, actually. That's the only way you'll figure out if there's a real friendship there or if you're both just clinging to old habits.

Whatever happens, good luck.

Jose Carter2 said:This workout calls for about 2,400 calories. Honestly, I don't even need a nutritionist when I can just spend time digging through sites like this on my own...

http://caloriecount.about.com/

And that isn't even an elite pro athlete's routine.

I'm not here looking for coaching tips. What I'm trying to get at is that without training, I feel like a smoker going through withdrawal...

So, tell me, what's your build? Are you an ectomorph, endomorph, or mesomorph?
Maybe the guy who designed this routine needs 2400 calories, but that doesn't mean you do.

A nutritionist isn't there just to count your calories; they're there to structure how you eat properly.
How many meals are you eating a day? What's the timing? Are you using protein, mass gainers, or creatine?

In my opinion, this workout is overkill—especially if you're just running the same repetitive loop over and over. You might need a break after 6 or 7 weeks, sure, but if you're constantly cycling back to the exact same exercises without actually challenging your body, I don't know... This looks like something meant for a pro or semi-pro athlete staying in shape, definitely not for someone who's still relatively new to all this.🤷

Alright, alright, you aren't looking for training tips—just calm down your hormones, David Vaughn75, all five of them... but you have to realize you're doing something wrong if you're bringing up fatigue and "prevention" of things.

Every single person has some version of OCD. For some, it doesn't interfere with life; for others, it ruins everything.
Athletes—whether they're casual gym rats or pros—tend to have those obsessive-compulsive traits dialed up a bit higher. Many people I know (myself included) become worse than any soldier during intense training periods. Everything has to be perfect; everything has to happen to the minute. The second a session is skipped or delayed (maybe due to being sick), the guilt and depression hit immediately.
That's all normal, and it comes as part of the package deal with serious training. It only stops being normal when it starts tanking your quality of life—whatever that means to you, of course.😁

Jose Carter2 said:I wouldn't have any trouble switching over to your workout routine, but the addiction part? That stays exactly the same. 😉

Let's just say it’s like an adrenaline rush. A long time ago, I actually joined a hardcore sports fan club for that exact reason...

I live for the roller coasters. I always end up leaving everything until the absolute last second because I crave that sense of urgency and tension.

I even love rushing to catch a train by the skin of my teeth... just for that little hit of excitement.

Then just switch over to extreme sports😁

if you want to see what a real adrenaline surge feels like.😉

Look, here’s the deal... this is a pro-level program, and you aren't a pro athlete.
The first thing I notice is how they’ve mashed together cardio with strength and endurance training, then thrown in heavy hypertrophy work on top of it all.
That is a massive red flag. Unless you have a private nutritionist managing every single gram of food you eat, your body isn't going to recover properly. You’re basically confusing your muscles—you beat them down with cardio one minute, then try to pump them up the very same day! You're just tearing them apart.

My advice? Walk away from this mess and adopt a "3+3+3" system instead. Think of it like this: three months dedicated to building mass (usually during the winter), followed by three months focusing on pure strength and endurance, and finally, three months of cardio to get that definition.
Depending on which phase you're in, you pick your specific exercises for the day, but following a top-down approach works wonders. For example, dedicate the first two days of the week to an Upper Body Workout, make the third day about hitting your 😁, and let the fourth day be a rest day or something light like lower back work. Then, save the fifth day specifically for a Lower Body Workout to hit those legs and glutes. The key is not overdoing it; if you push too hard, you'll end up getting the exact opposite result of what you want.

It’s good to hear you’ve been eating right for five years now, but the real question is: what does "eating right" actually mean to you?😁
Looking at the routine you laid out, a layman would tell you that you’d need to be slamming somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 calories a day just to keep up, and I’m betting you aren't eating nearly that much, right?🙂

Stick to the fundamentals. That’s the golden rule of training.

Jose Carter2 said:I think I’m becoming addicted to working out.
For over a year now, I've been sticking to this really solid fitness program, hitting the gym five days a week.

So, what’s the issue? The issue is that I haven't trained since Saturday, and honestly... the lethargy is setting in. A bit of depression, some apathy... I just feel lost.

I’m getting back at it today, and I'll keep it up until Saturday. I know once I finish, I'll feel so much better—more focused, more confident.

Is this actually normal?

Heh, man... I've been exactly where you are.

First off, you really need to sit down and ask yourself who you're actually doing this for. What’s the actual driver behind your training sessions?
If you're doing it to impress other people or just so you don't look like a loser in front of someone else—that's a losing game.
But if you're doing it for yourself? Bravo. Good for you. 😁

That post-workout high? That’s just the endorphin rush. Congrats, you’ve become a legitimate fitness junkie thanks to those sweet, sweet hormones that hit your system after a heavy session. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s basically like a free, healthy, natural high. But—and there's always a "but"—this often leads straight into one major trap: overtraining.

Look, if you want muscles to actually recover and grow, you can't just grind constantly; you have to eat right and, more importantly, you have to rest.
If you’re relatively new to this—say, a year or two in—and you aren't a pro athlete, hitting it this hard can be way too much for your body to handle, especially if your nutrition isn't dialed in. All you're going to achieve is muscle fatigue, which eventually triggers a total counter-effect to whatever goals you're chasing.

Also, if you’ve been following the exact same training program for an entire year, I’m telling you right now: that’s a mistake. You’re essentially running in circles. You should be switching things up every three months once your body adapts to the old movements. If you keep doing the same repetitive patterns, your body stops being challenged. It gets comfortable. And when it gets comfortable, you’re basically inviting chronic fatigue, muscle wasting, and either fat gain or extreme weight loss (depending on your specific metabolism), not to mention a massive invitation for injuries!

That guilt you feel when you miss a session? That’s pretty standard. But that’s exactly why everyone from amateur hobbyists to professional athletes uses a system of recovery. You absolutely need at least two or three rest days a week. And once you finish a full cycle of your program (remember that three-month rule I mentioned?), you ought to take two or three weeks of deloading—where you don't push yourself hard and just let your body actually recover properly.

It’s pretty obvious this guy hasn't made peace with his feelings or his head space regarding his ex.
There’s a razor-thin line between love and hatred, and honestly, when someone spends all their energy trashing an ex, it’s proof enough. Look, let’s be real—it isn't "right," but people do it constantly. It happens more often than not if the breakup wasn't some graceful, mutual decision or if one person got absolutely blindsided and hurt.

When someone truly doesn't feel the need to bring up their ex at all—when they just reach a point of total indifference where they genuinely don't care anymore—that’s when that person is actually an ex. But when you see someone badmouthing a person they were head-over-heels for just yesterday? It’s clear as day. They haven't moved on, and that person still carries massive weight in their life.

In this specific case, the situation clearly stings. Maybe he's putting on this big, important act for everyone else, trying to convince himself that he’s over her and has moved on, but... well, look at him. These outbursts and these constant digs at his ex prove the exact opposite!
He clearly has no clue how to move forward or pull himself together. I mean, didn't you mention he’s still trying to stay in contact with her?

They’ll grab onto anything they can get their hands on to make a buck 😁
Anyway, if you ask me, the US is leading the pack globally when it comes to donor numbers and how many of these surgeries actually go through.

Look, you’re missing the point entirely. If that isn't your goal, then why even bother chasing it? For some people, the whole objective is just working on themselves—getting their own act together—so they can eventually find someone else who’s equally put together. But hey, that’s not a one-size-fits-all rule, is it? Not everyone operates that way. Why should they?

Forget the computer stuff. Just focus on fixing your own life first. It’s going to be a long, grueling process, and honestly, you’ll probably end up hating yourself a little bit along the way, but trust me... it's worth the effort.😉

Have you ever actually tried putting things down on paper?
Like, just sitting there in the silence, letting your mind wander through what you actually expect from yourself, what kind of woman you’d want to meet one day, or even what kind of inner circle you want to build around you.
Regarding yourself, you can demand anything and everything; you can aim for nothing less than the absolute best version of who you are. But when it comes to other people? You can't expect a damn thing. All you can do is be crystal clear about what you want and, more importantly, what you won't tolerate.
I think the first step is working on yourself to figure out those actual desires. If you're feeling depressed or just completely unmotivated, then fine—be that way for a few days. Don't force yourself to act happy if it isn't happening. If the smile won't come, it won't come. Eventually, you'll get sick of feeling like that, and some idea will just snap into your head—some reality check that kicks you back into gear.
It isn't easy, and it takes time. It sucks when you feel lost and don't know what you want out of life, but it's even worse if you aren't even self-aware enough to realize you're lost.

Maybe it sounds cliché, but try writing things down. I guarantee you how much a simple, basic thing like that can surprise you. It can spark a sudden wave of positivity or a burst of life energy that actually motivates you to change something.

Unfortunately, the world today has gone totally soft... BlueMoon already touched on this, and I can only build on her point by quoting Jeanette Winterson: “What a strange world it is where you can have as much sex as you like but love is taboo”!
Modern relationships have turned into something pathetic. Everything is superficial. People are constantly telling you there are "other fish in the sea," or that since there are billions of us, why bother fighting for one specific person? They tell you someone else will just stumble along who is better or more perfect. To me, all of that is just an escape from oneself—searching for who you are in other people, when you definitely won't find yourself there.
Face your own demons. Make peace with them, and things will get easier. You'll meet a side of yourself you've never encountered before; maybe it'll shock you, or maybe it'll pleasantly surprise you. Work on yourself, man. Change your own world if it doesn't suit you or if it's not fulfilling you. Only then should you worry about fitting in with the rest of the world.