Posts by Kenneth Ramirez5

So, what is it you actually want? And more importantly—how much are you truly willing to put on the line?
If you're feeling miserable, what is there to gain from this kind of love—for you or for him, really? Hold on... if you genuinely believe this is what’s best for both of you, then that's one thing. But otherwise, I'm not so sure.

Well, if you just stay at arm's length like that—and I mean really keeping your distance—it’s only going to drag out the whole process. It’ll linger longer than it needs to. If I were in your shoes, I’d actually suggest spending some real time with him—you know, hanging out, talking, even having those little disagreements that happen in any relationship. Reality tends to be much more grounded than whatever we build up in our heads, so once you face the actual person, that intense crush feeling usually fades much faster.

I honestly don't know what to do to pull myself out of this total mess—socially speaking, both verbally and non-verbally—with everyone else around me.

Maybe, just as a sort of first aid measure, you could try shifting your perspective a little bit. It’s highly likely that some people are being perceived by you in a certain way simply because that's how you *assume* they view you—which is a bit of a psychological trap, isn't it? Try to sit with the thought of why you find certain people off-putting... and then ask yourself how much weight you're actually giving those feelings. I truly believe that kind of introspection might help.
As for a permanent fix, I suspect the advice provided by the other folks on the forum who responded to you is actually quite solid.

The person you're "in love" with—well, he doesn't actually exist. You’ve essentially constructed this ideal version of him in your own mind. Once things settle down and you can look at it all with a bit more clarity—perhaps after you sit down and actually read through those old messages—you'll see the truth. It's just a collection of letters on a screen. Nothing more than that.

I wouldn't exactly advise you to go out and lie—that’s just not your style—but I would suggest being very careful about sharing your actual impressions regarding your friend. It might be better to cushion things with phrases like "I'm not quite sure" or "I don't know for certain," just to keep some distance. Eventually, when you have a moment, you should probably find a way to speak with your doctor privately. Even though your intentions are clearly coming from a good place, there is always that risk—however small—that they could interpret your honesty as a sort of "betrayal" or even a conspiracy. At the end of the day, one has to wonder if any real good would actually come from being too blunt right now.

I would have to agree with you, though I find myself wondering—what exactly serves as your litmus test for someone’s insecurities? Are there specific phrases, certain manners, or perhaps little gestures that lead you to conclude someone is struggling with a complex, making them unappealing to you? In other words, how do these complexes manifest in a way that triggers that sense of distaste?

tapatalk

It isn't actually people with insecurities who rub me the wrong way—not at all. In fact, if I'm being honest, I find those with a few flaws to be much more endearing. By that, I mean the people who aren't constantly staring at their own reflection—metaphorically speaking—and who have made peace with their shortcomings rather than turning them into some grand drama. I'm talking about those who speak passionately about what they know, yet possess the grace to admit when they are completely out of their depth. They don't lose sleep over the opinions of people they barely even respect. They can laugh at themselves—and at others—with genuine warmth. I could go on forever... But truly, the ones I find difficult are the arrogant types, the egoists who act as if they are the absolute center of the universe and that the world will simply cease to spin once they pass away. It might sound like an exaggeration, but believe me, I have encountered my fair share of such individuals.

Based on what you’ve shared here—if I may say so—I get the impression that you are an incredibly brave, sharp, and imaginative young woman. You seem to possess a really strong sense of intuition, paired with some very solid logic. Honestly, I don't see any signs of anything being "off" or any underlying issues at all. In fact, perhaps you should consider channeling all that creativity into writing stories instead? :-)

I have friends, and I truly place my trust in them. I tend to nurture those friendships with the exact same level of sincerity, warmth, and genuine care that I hope to receive in return—it’s a sort of reciprocal philosophy, I suppose. So far, things have been going quite well. As for those people I don't fully trust? Well, they aren't really my friends—they're just acquaintances, coworkers, and such.

I don't actually believe that trust and sincerity among people are on the decline—not really. It feels the same as it always has, if you think about it. We just change on an individual level, and because we've had some "bad" experiences lately, we tend to perceive things through that lens. But honestly, those are just our own failed projections and expectations playing tricks on us. If we choose friends who aren't quite on the same wavelength—people we’re essentially out of sync with—then yeah, trust starts to erode. But if we pick people who align with what we expect, then trust remains perfectly fine. So, who's actually at fault here? Is it the passage of time? Society? An economic crisis? Or is it just us?

Time seems to be slipping through my fingers way too fast—years just seem to pile up one after another before I even realize it. Up until 30, everything feels somewhat manageable, but once you cross that threshold...

I’ve always found myself gravitating toward people who—well, let's just say they don't carry around a mountain of unnecessary baggage or psychological layers—to be much more likable. It doesn't really matter what they look like, how many degrees they have hanging on their walls, or even the way they carry themselves in conversation.
It isn't some absolute, ironclad rule that applies to every single soul on this planet, but in my experience—and I'm certainly no expert here—it holds true for the vast majority.

There aren't really any rules here—not really. Most of us like to imagine ourselves as "good people," but I often wonder if anyone actually fits that description perfectly. There are certain individuals you just can't avoid—say, because you're sharing an office space or working the same shift at a place like Starbucks—even when you couldn't be more different. In those moments, you have to decide: do you go to war with them, or do you try to find some middle ground just to make the workday feel a little less heavy? It’s an art form, honestly. What you choose usually depends on how much you truly can't stand them, or even just how old you are and what stage of life you're in. To make a long story short—though I do tend to ramble—it's easy enough to be kind, sincere, and attentive to the people we actually love and care about. But when it comes to everyone else... well, let's just say I tend to give back exactly what I get. :-)