Posts by Lawrence Bailey77

If you aren't proactive about shaping your own existence, I suppose someone else will inevitably step in to do it for you. In this current climate, it’s usually those who hold the capital, the substances, or the systemic leverage—individuals looking to exploit any available opening for a bit of profit 🧐

The business model of manipulating people who are desperately trying to buy their way into freedom is, quite frankly, a lucrative one 🙂

It becomes even more effective when you convince them that there simply isn't any other path available 🙄 .. though, I suppose there is always room at the top for one more, provided they work incredibly hard .. and finally "grasp" the underlying mechanics of the game 😵

Generally speaking, they use education to convince these people that they are fundamentally broken 🐔

They use the healthcare industry to suggest that the root of their depression lies within themselves—that they are somehow maladapted to society ☕

And just like that, the industry expands all on its own 😵

Just lie back under a palm tree and enjoy the show 🙂

🙂 I suppose you should just pick an instrument and actually commit to the practice and the learning process... there is always some kind of instrument out there that fits within a reasonable budget and is actually playable 👍

darkcanyon10 said:once you figure out a way to make it work, let me know 😬

vice versa 🙂

There’s an old Native American proverb here... :Cerek:

"Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins." 🧐

In any case, I suppose it would be beneficial to invest a bit more focus into actual self-discipline...

I mean, there are a million different schedules out there, but without discipline—and, frankly, without willpower—none of them matter much. 🤷

Of course, we're talking long-term here... anyone can stick to a schedule for a few days.

As for myself, I have taken the liberty of organizing my life according to my own capabilities, needs, and desires. That is my priority, because I have never found much success in listening to others telling me what they think is best for me—especially when I observe how they live their lives, looking at their results and the consequences of their actions.

Furthermore, through my own philosophical searching for various truths, I have come to recognize the importance of internal motivation—essentially, being honest with oneself and maintaining a certain level of private egocentrism. Since my ego was what actually saved me from self-destruction, and after I had intended to thank it and then promptly throw it back into a dungeon, I realized that wouldn't quite be fair. 😬 So, I began making compromises... little by little...

I told my ego, "Look, buddy, you were my friend when nobody else was. You stayed by my side when I wanted to give up on everything." 😍 You are my friend, Ego, and I won't spend my time judging whether you are good or bad; instead, we shall simply coexist in harmony. Even my ID will eventually return to its natural state once we reach this agreement. 🙂

But then again... I don't mean to dwell on myself too much, but everyone has their own unique mechanisms, so there is really no point in copying or mimicking someone else's methods. I am speaking more about the underlying principles and patterns used to reach a goal—the specific techniques of a process, if you will—whether you are building a paper airplane or a suburban ranch house! 😉

darkcanyon10 said:That laziness... just wrapped up in some deep sense of futility. 🤣 🤣

Don't try to pull a fast one on me now! 😍 ... I suppose those who know us well... he’d probably charge us an arm and a leg for his "services." 🙂

But, jokes aside 😍... it isn't quite as charming as people tend to make it out to be. That's why I think we need to approach this whole thing with a bit more gravity—regardless of the various latitudes and longitudes involved. Drama is one of those rare socially acceptable tools at our disposal; one should aim to utilize it rather than exploit it, if you ask me. 🧐

Paul Thompson3 said:If someone messed with me back when I was a kid, I wouldn't even feel the anger—I just couldn't process it. As pathetic as it sounds, I felt like I had a solid sense of self back then because I naturally drew people in; I was this little leader, almost like some kind of indigo child. No matter how much I try to look back and deconstruct it, I can't figure out what the hell happened—I just always had this nagging feeling that something was off, that I was different from everyone else. Honestly, I think my identity is weak because I see myself in too many different things instead of just locking onto one thing that feels mine and grabbing it. It’s like a perpetual identity crisis that leads me to believe I don't really have one at all. I’m not sure if an identity is supposed to be a fixed personality where you always spout the same old talking points, or if it's something else—like when people know exactly who you are. Or maybe people just act a certain way so they become recognizable to others, that whole "you know how I roll" vibe. Around other people, I often feel like my entire energy just vanishes—as if their presence completely overrides mine because mine is so thin. Maybe it’s just a lack of worth; my self-esteem is pretty much non-existent at this point.

You really have no idea how much strength you possess 😉 you aren't aware... if you could just step into a few different perspectives... if you could take a cold, objective look at your whole situation as just one single piece of a larger mosaic... I think you might actually surprise yourself 🙂

Paul Thompson3 said:Most days feel about 97% Groundhog Day—mixed with that weird vibe from a movie where you just stare at the screen, unable to process what's happening. Most of the time I'm struggling—just really, really struggling. I can be sitting at home, totally safe, and still feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. A few years back, it used to hit me physically—this awful, grinding tension right in my shins.

Lawrence Bailey77 - Look, sometimes I say one thing and mean another. If I had some rock-solid identity, I guess I’d always stick to the same script.

Well, damn it all... I actually started thinking recently about how much better it might be... to stop writing with these fragmented thoughts and actually try to use full sentences. But then, how would I ever encounter all these different nuances? I'd just end up limiting myself, pigeonholing myself in a sort of intellectual fascism where I wouldn't even be able to understand the person on the other side of the fence—someone who just wants to communicate with another human being without any of the nonsense. So, tell me, is there even a standard for what language you should use, let alone an accent or a dialect? You know how it goes... haters gonna hate. I suppose one should just ignore the expectations of people who are so miserable they have to tear others down just because they can't bear to look at themselves in the mirror.🙂

My friend... it is quite obvious that you don't fit into the "general" mold, and you don't find yourself within it for reasons that aren't relevant to this specific point—not that your reasons are unimportant, far from it 🧐 ... or perhaps you simply cannot conform. Well, fine... you don't have to, and you shouldn't 🙂It’s an instinct, I suppose—something inherent in every single one of us, just part of being alive. Logic and reason are fine for chasing happiness or maintaining health, but at the end of the day, you simply don't want to live a life filled with nonsense. Bravo, truly. I tip my hat to you. I could probably spiral into some long-winded, idealistic lecture on pure humanism, but honestly, that would be far too much for a site like Reddit. It's been proven 😬
.
In any case, every system, no matter how well-intentioned, demands its victims. It’s almost impossible to fully articulate why, mostly because history is written by the winners. The casualties of everyday life are either glossed over or, more likely, intentionally suppressed—if not outright censored—to maintain the status quo.

Look, being a decent human being isn't actually that difficult. But under certain circumstances, choosing to do the right thing feels practically suicidal, which goes against everything in our biological programming. If you haven't already let your ego dictate your path and instead opted for a struggle worth living—or, heaven forbid, faced death—then perhaps it is finally time to take action. 😬

Go ahead, feel free to criticize me if you must. A sudden burst of inspiration just took hold of me, I guess. Times are bound to change eventually; at least, that’s what those who claim to "see" the truth say.

Paul Thompson3 said:I struggle with this constant, heavy mental fog—just sitting around, spiraling into a depressive funk. Honestly, I get more pissed off when I see someone else being mistreated than when someone targets me. If someone manages to humiliate me and I don't snap back, it eats at me forever. If I ever hit the jackpot with the Powerball, I’d probably focus more on charity than living some high-end luxury life. Maybe I have a bit of a moral superiority complex. I tend to judge people—fair enough—but I can admit when I'm wrong. My biggest respect goes to strong, decent people who treat those with less status with dignity; anyone who acts like trash toward people beneath them is worthless in my eyes. I tend to see things in black and white. It drives me insane when people call themselves "warriors" or claim their "mom gave birth to a fighter." That's just hilarious to me. Also, I can't stand being in a group where someone else is clearly the favorite—it makes me want to crawl into a hole. Everything has piled up so much lately that it’s hard to function, let alone live normally. It feels unbearable sometimes. I have this "all or nothing" mentality—either everything is going perfectly, or nothing makes sense at all. Back when I was a kid, I was arrogant, thinking I was the best-looking, funniest, smartest guy in the room. I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror, though I doubt I'm a narcissist because I genuinely want the best for people who are decent.
I'm a loner, and the human urge to conform really grates on me—even though, occasionally, I still crave that sense of belonging. People who only know me on the surface would never guess I feel this way; it’s pretty textbook. I’ve always had this drive to set things right. I can't stand watching fail videos of skaters wiping out, I hate horror movies, and I have zero interest in seeing tragic accidents. I value genuine kindness above almost everything. I honestly don't get how anyone manages to grow into a stable adult given all the chaos, suffering, and sheer possibility in the world. I’ve never really known what I want from myself; I'm at my best when things are spontaneous, but the second something becomes a mandatory obligation, I push back. And I really don't get the narrow-mindedness of splitting everything into left versus right.
I had a good childhood, but the issues started in my teens and haven't let up since.
I think my sense of identity is pretty weak. I’m not one for big risks, but I’ve never actually been afraid of dying.

What makes you say that?

mistyseal11 said:@placidwolf27:

You hit the nail on the head there. The whole thing is, I don't really have some grand higher purpose anymore because everything just feels kind of pointless. There’s nothing left to aim for. I mean, "the worms are gonna eat me eventually anyway," right?
If we're talking about hitting some material milestone—honestly, it’s just garbage. I’m not even interested in a BMW, or fancy yachts, or luxury condos, or traveling the world...
And don't even get me started on love or family life; it’s totally incomprehensible to me. Everything people push is like some polished Hollywood fantasy, which is lightyears away from how things actually work.
As for finding some higher spiritual calling—I guess I could trade my couch for a lotus position, and maybe that would be the fix... but that feels pretty stupid considering I'm a physical being and sitting on a concrete floor in some artificial environment feels completely unnatural to me...

On the flip side, though—deep down, I know I'm capable of anything.

@Maria Price3: Look, I've stared death in the face more times than I care to count. I'm not going into the details.

Well... I've only experienced it once, and frankly, it was far too much for me.🕺

No offense intended—you explain yourself quite clearly, and I certainly don't mean to label you or anything like that—but, if I may be so bold, I might suggest looking into psychotherapy. I say this with the best of intentions. It isn't a quick fix, and it can be a long, arduous process, but I suppose it's a better path than just burying yourself in a gym membership.👍

You seem very aware of your own insistence that you can handle everything on your own. However, a psychologist might simply help you organize your thoughts and focus on whatever it takes to pull you out of your current state. From what I can gather, you aren't exactly satisfied with where you are right now. It is relatively easy to change a job, a spouse😬, or even your entire environment... but changing oneself? That is a different matter entirely. 😵 I am not placing blame on you, nor anyone else; circumstances have a way of breaking people. No one wakes up and decides to be unwell. Everything has its causes and its reasons.

And really, what do you have to lose by trying? Just have one conversation and see what happens.

Linda Martin6 said:The question remains: What is your actual diagnosis?

a) Mental burnout from being overworked (based on what you described, this seems unlikely),
b) A chronic surplus of free time combined with not knowing how to use it,
c) Something else?

You know your situation best, so I'd suggest trying to write down your current circumstances and their causes on paper. If you can pinpoint why this is happening, it might be easier to find a way out.

But what if there isn't one?

I suppose one has to consider the possibility that psychiatry, as an institution, hasn't always been about healing. I mean, we're talking about a field that, historically speaking, was perfectly content to lock people away—not necessarily because they were ill, but just to strip them of their assets and profit from their misery. It’s a grim thought, I know, but history isn't always kind.☕

c) something else entirely?

I mean... it depends... what could "something else" even signify in this context?

depending on how things stand at the moment

my brain was essentially wiped clean when some idiot crushed my skull and mangled my brain matter...

ah, those were the days... nothing but pain. No problems, really. I didn't even have thoughts...

there was only the pain.🙂

And once that finally subsided, I was just relieved the hurting had stopped. Between being on various medications and dealing with the physical tremors from the head trauma, I wasn't really thinking too deeply about what had happened to me, let alone why.😵 But unfortunately, the mental interference—that constant buzzing in my head—started creeping in almost immediately. It was as if they were just waiting for me to survive the initial hit before they began their work.🙂

The psychological torture was intense; I spent somewhere around four years constantly contemplating suicide, at least until about last year. Things have been improving slightly, but you know how it goes.

Anyway, this is your topic. I just wanted to highlight my circumstances so you can use them as a guide. Don't be too harsh or overly critical of yourself, the way I used to be with myself.

In truth, I had this sort of ptspovski energy that I tried to channel into something productive, which, I suppose, isn't particularly easy.😵

When I was struggling just to breathe and felt like I was at the very end of my rope—it was like that back then—I told myself, "Okay, fine. Let's start over." I had experienced every hollow, pyrrhic victory offered to me, the kind I conjured up in paranoid delusions and schizophrenic episodes, so I decided to just begin from scratch.

Evolution. Like a single-celled organism... just the basics. The most fundamental stuff.

Breathing was the starting point. You can't do anything without breathing properly. To achieve that, I guess you need a certain amount of peace of mind, and since that process consumes a lot of nutrients, I had to think about food. Cheap food, obviously.😁 And thank God, some of the cheapest staples are actually better than most expensive options. As for hydration, there’s no better liquid to quench thirst than water.

Minimalism served as a therapy more effective than all the pills I tried to avoid whenever possible—though, given that endless mental static, they became necessary at times.

So, bit by bit... always aware that everything could fall apart. And sometimes it did; I would fall and have to start all over again. Creating a system to manage food and water was the goal, and honestly, it still is.😬 It always will be. The paranoia never truly vanishes. PTSD is like a permanent pet that you can never quite take off the leash. I have my struggles.😵

Just hold on, keep pushing.

In short: build whatever system is possible for you, one that you create and maintain yourself.👍

It belongs to you, and you alone possess the power to either destroy it or build it up. You are the one in control, not anyone else.

Think of it as your own personal programming language, if you want to look at it that way.👍

P.S. For what it's worth, before my "rebirth," I was never an organized person. In fact, Discipline was something entirely foreign to me.

It isn't really a matter of vocabulary... clearly 😉

The rest is up to you... you have a functioning brain, I suppose... though you certainly have enough of your own complications to keep you busy 😬... just keep at it 👍

I am opening up my lines of communication every single night this week... essentially, starting tonight and running for the next seven days, please feel free to reach out if you find yourself bored or simply in need of some conversation. I suppose I can offer everything from distraction and entertainment to a shoulder to cry on or a firm handshake, depending entirely on what you might be looking for 😬

But let’s be clear: humanity and mutual respect remain my primary concerns. If anyone feels the need for a bit of dialogue , you are more than welcome to contact me 👍

This little arrangement is valid from December 20th through the 27th, 2015... or perhaps sooner, should my patience run dry 😵

Jerry Wilson13 said:😲😲 none.

I think this might actually be the longest post I’ve ever sat down to write.

What?! 😬

ruggedskipper11 said:Jerry Wilson13, I was re-reading your post on Saturday and honestly, I just broke down crying. I’m gonna have to print it out and keep it. 🙂
I won't lie and say I'm doing any better lately, but I’m trying to change at least one tiny thing every single day—I know I have to. I'll keep you guys posted on how things are going. My appetite is still non-existent and I'm basically chain-smoking my way through the day, but somehow I'm still getting my stuff done. It’s a struggle, just white-knuckling it through everything, but I can't fully cave, even though yesterday was absolute hell.

Look, ten years is an incredibly long stretch of time... I want to believe in self-help and everything else, truly, but since I’ve been in a fundamentally similar situation—though perhaps "period" or "experience" is a more accurate way to phrase it than just a "long time"—it might not hurt to seek out professional help along the way. Ten years is a significant portion of one's life... personally, it wasn't until after my fourth year of actively seeking assistance 🙂 that I finally gained access to professional care, and I suspect that significantly accelerated my recovery...

Looking at where I stand right now, I suppose I can try to gauge my own progress... I don't really have much experience here, so maybe those more seasoned folks can offer a better assessment, but for now, I am speaking directly to you. Ten years of accumulation... man, look at that ashtray 😬 just imagine how much has piled up over a decade. You have to clear that out. It requires energy, strength, organization, and sheer persistence... it is an immensely difficult task, and I mean that with the best of intentions... when I was trying to help myself, I could find short-term fixes, but I couldn't see any long-term way out or any sense in it all, though I haven't given up just yet :bliss

That is really all I can tell you... regarding the "problem," if it cannot be solved (and objectively speaking, some things are unsolvable), then you simply learn to live with it. In my case, if we are talking about a certain kind of pain, it hasn't disappeared; it has merely found a quiet corner to reside in, slowly eroding the non-essential parts of oneself just to ensure survival and the occasional ability to appreciate the beauty of life... occasionally... bit by bit... enough to make facing problems a little easier than before...

I hope things move faster for you... don't wait around... life is far too short... and even the longest journey begins with a single step. 👍

Jerry Wilson13 said:Staying busy is my survival strategy... hobbies, kids, daily chores...

Honestly, lately I’ve been feeling like social media is doing way more harm than good. It’s just weighing me down. I find myself wanting to shut out everything living, and when the TV is on, I can't move away from the kids' programming. 👍

Thankfully, during the day we try to make sure nothing violent or upsetting pops up on the screen, so we stick to Discovery, science shows, or cartoons... But then, in the evening, we "catch up" by sitting down in front of the news or scrolling the web... and poof.
Everything just goes south... you get hit with a wave of pure gloom.

Ebem, I have this one friend who is a bit of a radical alternative to all this. Her circle is always making jokes at her expense, and the latest "joke" was about how she doesn't even have a TV at home. At all. Let alone the internet & stuff. To everyone around her, it seems bizarre, weird... they're actually horrified.
But honestly, screw them, because that woman always has a smile on her face. Even on the grayest days, she’s constantly chirping about something positive... home cooking, the weather, her plants, music... I get the impression she has some sort of internal shield against all the horrors surrounding us.

I wish I had that kind of grit and persistence—to somehow isolate myself and opt out of everything I can't contribute to constructively...

And I will never, ever understand where people get the motivation to blast negativity all over social media and news sites... as if the world isn't already infinitely saturated and overwhelmed by the exact same thing. 😠😠

Why on earth do I have to deal with this while having my morning coffee on (let's say, Facebook), where I want to see what my family is up to in other states, only to be slapped in the face by a video (that starts playing immediately without even clicking it!!—so incredibly irritating!) showing a father in a war zone hugging his deceased children...

And kill me now, those few seconds of that video literally killed my day. Dead.

I'm off to delete Facebook. 🙂 🙂

And there you have it—a perfect example of how easily one can be broken by the media machine's constant brainwashing attempts. ☕

.. well done 🙂 I suppose the next logical step is to just rip the TV out of the wall and live in total isolation from all of it... turn your back on those neighborhood gossips who spend their lives repeating every single thing they see or hear on the news, and maybe then you'll escape that influence... it isn't an impossible task, really; I guess it just comes down to a matter of willpower and genuine desire. 🙂

p.s. direct human contact—actual conversation—and the internet (though I personally never read the news) are the only things I find worth pursuing when interacting with the outside world... I don't see why anyone should dictate my perspective or tell me what kind of world I inhabit when I possess my own brain and enough intelligence to draw my own conclusions... if I were truly as dim-witted as they imply, all the media outlets in America wouldn't be able to help me, even if helping people was actually their primary objective—which, of course, it certainly isn't. 😂

Amanda Wood2 said:Hey everyone.

For the last few years, I’ve been dealing with this endless sadness that actually turns into physical pain and health issues.
When I finally get my head on straight, I know I *should* be happy, but this feeling just destroys me.
I grew up in a house with an aggressive father, and I definitely see the fallout from his outbursts. I moved out at 17 and worked my tail off while finishing school—cleaning toilets every morning and waitressing on weekends. I kept grinding through college just to pay my way. By 23, right after graduation, I was just chronically exhausted and totally drained. Then, things seemed to "work out"—I landed this amazing job that required moving back to my hometown. And, like, on paper everything is fine. I'm young, I'm fit, I have money, I built it all myself... but I'm sad. Just endlessly, deeply sad.
I saw a therapist who basically told me I need to figure out what I want from life and just "stop" this feeling.
I used to love pushing my body to the limit, but not anymore... I go 62 miles (literally) and there's zero rush left.
I'm just done. Done with life, people, ambition (theirs), everyone else's expectations, and this total emotional void.
I need help... what do I even do?

Look, you have to help yourself somehow... however you manage it... it doesn't really matter. If you’re asking my opinion, the end justifies the means here—independence is everything. Anything else just leads to becoming dependent on someone else, which usually ends up with you simply swapping one "problem" for another.🥱 But then again, that's just how I see things.

As for the "how"... I honestly don't know. I feel for you, truly. I suppose I feel for myself too, because I’ve spent five years just trying to stay afloat, trying not to reach a breaking point, because, objectively speaking, I just don't have the strength left.😬 In my experience, this kind of exhaustion isn't even necessarily a bad thing; it's just heavy. I can't find joy in the things that used to satisfy me, nor in anything I've tried during these last five years that I thought might work... or even things I never intended to try. When a person loses their options, they tend to experiment with just about anything.

But I wouldn't want to depress you.

It sounds like you’ve fought some massive battles in your life, and perhaps you feel ready for some well-deserved rest and relaxation after all that. But... much like with our war veterans, it seems there are always consequences. Sometimes, celebrating a "victory" isn't actually possible, because the cost of that win involves sacrifices that can never be recovered. And based on what I've seen, you can only expect new ones to follow... oh boy, I promised I wouldn't be depressing, didn't I?😵

Just run if you can. If your circumstances won't allow that, find an escape any way you can. Personally, solitude works for me. You mentioned looking for support and comfort from another person, so good luck with that choice. Just be careful. From what I've experienced, the people I least expected to kick me while I was down were the ones who ended up breaking whatever bones I had left. So, what can I say? I'm full of negative experiences, and as a result, I've become somewhat numb to the possibility of anything good happening.🐔

I live on the memories of good intentions and kind wishes... so, I suppose I'll just wait until those memories fade.😬

graniteeagle3 said:I wanted to say thank you all for your posts. You truly are wonderful people!
I am feeling much, much better now 🙏
I’m going to do my absolute best—really give it my all—to arm myself with positive thoughts... and just try not to give any weight to those obsessive thoughts when they drift through my mind. It’s really just about ignoring them, isn't it?

Well, that’s easy enough to say... just like how you ignore politicians, degenerates, and the scum of society... how you ignore corruption, the mob, murders, assaults, fraud, lies, wars, slavery, famine, poverty, even cannibalism... I guess it's all possible to just look the other way.☕

Have you actually pulled it off? 😉

Good luck with that! 👍

OP... I think you might be getting a little carried away here... though, I suppose that’s just my two cents.🤷

Donna White50 said:This whole loop you're stuck in sounds like a textbook case of OCD. You aren't a pedophile. Also, it might be worth looking into your sexual orientation—are you absolutely sure you're gay?
Since you've been struggling to figure out your sexuality for years, it makes sense that there are lingering insecurities and frustrations messing with your head. That frustration, combined with compulsive thoughts and depression, basically clears a path for this disorder. It seems like this fear popped up—this dread that your sexuality might take an unexpected turn—and because "pedophile" is such a terrifying, deviant label, your mind latched onto it. Now you're just stuck in a loop, obsessing from sunrise to sunset, searching for reasons why you are one and reasons why you aren't...
It’s incredibly draining. Look, seeing children as vulnerable beings naturally triggers protective instincts in us, but you've twisted those protective feelings into sexual attraction (which isn't true), and now you're hunting for evidence to prove you're a pedophile. If you go looking for trouble, you're going to find it. Maybe during a fantasy, a random image of a child flashed through your mind by accident, it triggered the fear, and now it's just swirling around inside you constantly...
The usual way to deal with OCD is to try and accept whatever it is you're most afraid of. If you're scared of being a pedophile, try accepting the *thought* that you are. Once you lean into the worst-case scenario, the fear usually loses its grip.
There are also plenty of people who live in fear of being gay. Even if they aren't emotionally or sexually attracted to men, that underlying anxiety and discomfort can easily get confused with arousal when they see someone of the same sex, which just feeds the fear cycle. So, I'd suggest re-evaluating your sexuality—have you had sex with guys or girls, and which one did you actually enjoy more?

For instance, in your post, you spent sentence after sentence describing your fears of being a pedophile, even though you've never actually harmed a child. You're essentially bombarding yourself with these thoughts day and night, and it's a vicious cycle. First, the thought itself is frustrating, then the fact that you can't escape it becomes the problem. The more you fight that reality, the stronger it gets, until you end up in a psych ward because you just can't function anymore...

So, acceptance—try to imagine that you *are* a pedophile and you'll see the fear start to fade on its own. Stop labeling yourself with these obsessive thoughts; just realize they are ONLY OBSESSIONS IN YOUR HEAD. Your brain is playing games with you, inventing horror stories, but that isn't who you are. If you can't handle it, go straight to a psychologist for therapy and treatment...

A quick question: do you use porn, and could there be a link between that and your fear of being gay or a pedophile? Also, have you run into any issues sexually—like masochism, trouble enjoying sex, issues with masturbation, reaching orgasm, or just staying focused on your fantasies...?

You can read a bit more about NATO here if you're interested:
http://www.vaspsiholog.com/2014/03/h...oremecaj-hokp/

That was the very first question that crossed my mind when I started reading the original post.☕

Michael Diaz6 said:It’s kind of awkward to suggest this to a new partner
"Hey... why don't you play the angry CEO and I'll be the lazy employee getting disciplined"

You feel me?

I should probably write a book that's basically a social game—you know, group style—filled with all that dirty stuff...
Then you just go to a guy and say, "Oh, I got this for my birthday, wanna play?"
Whatever side we pick, we gotta follow the rules.

See what I mean?
It's just... you wouldn't want to ruin the vibe, and you aren't even that type of guy. It never even crossed your mind, you innocent soul..

I don't really follow...🤔 I mean, I'm not sure what part of that is considered awkward...🙂

If you aren't suggesting what you actually want to your partner, then what exactly are you proposing?☕

placidwolf27 said:It’s what we call "butthurt," really—and the sheer volume of it seems directly proportional to how much someone actually enjoys wallowing in the endless stream of nonsense clogging up the internet... where everyone feels entitled to spout whatever garbage comes to mind. It only intensifies when you start tying your entire identity to your role in these pathetic little digital skirmishes.

All of this could happen without the internet, really. It didn't invent these behaviors; it just provides a faster way to spread what has always existed, much like anything else that can be amplified through digital means.☕

The internet is merely a medium, after all. 🧐

Your feelings reside within you; they originate from within and essentially just *are*... You, quite frankly, are their sole architect 🙂

The internet is merely an experience, much like reading a newspaper or a novel, or even watching television... There is no inherent rage inside a TV set... Perhaps if you were to take one apart and inspect its components, you might see what I mean 😬

In any case, I suppose I should stop stretching this topic out, as I suspect a fundamental "misstep" occurred right at the beginning, and everything following this will likely remain under that same influence ☕

goldentinker70 said:👍
That’s pretty much how I’m running the numbers, too.
I think I might have actually had a decent time at the New Year's Eve party.
I’m talking about November 2016, obviously. 🙂

So, I see someone out there claiming this can drag on for years—as if that’s some kind of impressive feat. 😲
I don't buy it. 🙂
It looks like things are getting a little bit better every single day.
Look, I’m not running away from this, nor am I denying it—and I'm certainly not trying to force anything. I'm just accepting it for what it is.
That should do it.

I personally tend to believe it, though perhaps not in your specific case. From what I can gather through your posts, you seem to be one of those rare individuals who actually possesses discipline. You know exactly what needs to be done, you remain fully aware of the reality of the situation, and you aren't constantly feeding into some sort of ego trip... respect!

Cheers 🙂

.. well .. I suppose I assumed that was just how things worked 😬

.. if some idiot hadn't nearly killed me, I probably wouldn't even realize the sheer scale of the mess I'm in .. long live the struggle, I guess 👋