Posts by analogviper9

bluecyclist64 said:No, it certainly doesn't make more sense. In my circles, nobody views a swear word as an attack unless it's being used as a direct insult, and even then, it’s incredibly rare.

I honestly wouldn't want to know what kind of sanitized, bubble-wrapped society you come from. Probably some group of hillbillies or extreme fundamentalists?🤔

Is it truly considered "laziness" to say: "Go screw a mad horse with a bloody dick on your mother's grave"?

But I suppose I'm missing the point here... 🤷

Your social circle has simply adopted profanity as a standard way of speaking. But just because something becomes habitual doesn't mean it's actually "normal."

Would you actually feel comfortable—or respected, for that matter—if a cashier at your local grocery store barked, "What the hell do you want?" instead of a polite, "How can I help you?"
My social circle uses profanity too, but certainly not in every single sentence.
There is a massive difference between someone venting their frustration in a moment of anger and someone who talks like a sailor every time they open their mouth.

Swearing is often a sign of helplessness or uncontrolled rage; so, frankly, if someone is dropping F-bombs constantly without any provocation, they clearly have some internal issues to work through.

bluecyclist64 said:I’m not merely offering an opinion here; I am stating what I know to be true based on my own lived experiences.

I’ll say it again: I think there’s something fundamentally wrong with your logic. How can you possibly claim that I lack the ability to express myself just because I occasionally use profanity? To be honest, I actually enjoy it. When I was teaching back in my school days, I certainly didn't let those words slip while I was standing in front of the students, but I certainly wasn't afraid to use them when I was in the faculty lounge with the other teachers.
I fail to see why I should feel any sense of inferiority. Where on earth are you getting those ideas from?

I find myself increasingly uncomfortable in circles like that, so I make a conscious effort to steer clear of them whenever possible.

Fair enough—it’s your call. At the end of the day, you have every right to handle things your way.

I have to admit, I find myself slipping up and letting a curse word fly from time to time too—usually when I’m feeling particularly frustrated, helpless, or stuck behind some idiot in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the I-95. It’s an instinctive reaction, but I am acutely aware that it sounds unrefined. I make a conscious effort to avoid swearing whenever possible.

And why exactly do you go out of your way to avoid profanity? Is it because that’s how you were raised—taught that such language is somehow inherently vulgar or beneath you?
So, if society had decided to wrap a chain around my neck, would I truly want to go around trying to shackle everyone else too? Would that actually make things easier for me? It’s an interesting question, though a rather grim one. I find myself reflecting on how much effort we expend trying to force others into the same narrow molds that confine us. There was a time, years ago, when I worked at a firm in Chicago—one of those old-school, rigid environments where every movement was monitored—and I remember feeling this intense, almost irrational urge to see my colleagues struggle just as I was. It wasn't out of malice, exactly, but more from a weary sense of perceived fairness. If I have to carry this weight, why should they get to walk free? But experience has a way of tempering that impulse. Realizing that shackling others doesn't actually lighten your own load is a hard-won lesson. In the end, dragging someone else down into the mud doesn't make the climb any easier; it just makes the path more crowded. To answer the question: no, I don't think I would. Adding more chains to the pile doesn't provide relief; it only increases the chaos.

It’s just absolute chaos, squared.
I personally find that profanity and certain "colorful" language serve to enrich my vocabulary and sharpen my expression. I honestly fail to see how anyone could claim that swearing functions as some sort of psychological defense mechanism.

By the way, what exactly is your deal, handing out compliments like that to us common folks? What are you, some kind of linguist? A psychologist? Or just a saint?

What does any of what you wrote have to do with anything? 🤔

Aside from the fact that you seem to have taken offense personally... 🕺

Relying on profanity is basically just a sign of laziness... 😛

Besides, when someone starts cursing and attacking society, people usually see it as a direct "attack on someone," which—let's be real—is usually exactly what it is. So, I fail to see why anyone would choose to constantly attack others if they could find a better way to phrase things. Does that make sense?

Carl Rivera43 said:All this swearing is getting a bit much, isn't it? But tell me this: when Wall Street bankers are snatching the bread right out of your mouth, do you find that just as distasteful?

Honestly, what does someone's choice of vocabulary have to do with how the entire economic system functions?🤔>

Joseph Bailey41 said:Can someone please walk me through the logic here? How on earth is a vocabulary filled with swear words somehow "poorer" than one without them? I'm struggling to make sense of that math. 😵

A swear word isn't the conversation itself; it’s just where the conversation hits a dead end.
To me, swearing is a blatant sign of weakness—it shows an utter inability to articulate exactly what a person is feeling.

When someone truly possesses a rich vocabulary, they express *exactly* what is bothering them, rather than using a vulgarity as some sort of crude defensive shield.

In short, relying on profanity is a remarkably shallow way to communicate. ☕

Kyle Vaughn8 said:We all know that one person who just can't seem to keep it clean—always leaning into the dirty jokes or coarse language, right?

What’s your take on people like that? You know, the ones who constantly push the envelope with vulgarity or constant sexual innuendos just to get a reaction out of the group?
What kind of personality does that actually point to, and how do you guys really feel when you're hanging out with them?

Why do you think some people feel this massive urge to stand out by being crude or talking about sex non-stop? 🤷

What are they actually trying to achieve there... is it just a sign of something deeper? Like, are there certain character traits that always seem to travel with that kind of behavior?

There is definitely something off about those types—it’s almost as if they lack the vocabulary to express what they’re actually feeling or wanting, or perhaps they feel somehow inferior if they aren't using swear words to command attention.

Personally, I find being in that kind of environment incredibly uncomfortable, so I make a point to steer clear of them whenever possible.

Now, don't get me wrong—I’ll let a curse word slip myself if I’m absolutely livid, feeling totally helpless, or stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but I am fully aware that it sounds unrefined. I try to avoid swearing as much as I possibly can.

fadedgull42 said:"Almost always?" What, so there are unselfish people out there who ghost you too? But sure, mostly it's just the selfish ones. 😁

Selfishness is definitely the rule here. 👍

And let’s not forget there are some truly disturbed individuals out there too—which is exactly why I used the word "mostly" in the first place! 😁

Let’s be honest for a second—those people who suddenly cut you off or distance themselves the moment they enter a new relationship? They actually checked out of your life a long time ago; you just didn't see the signs unfolding right in front of you. At the end of the day, it almost always boils down to sheer selfishness.

Honestly, nothing gets under my skin quite like those perpetual killjoys.
I’m certainly not a fan of people faking a smile just for show—heaven knows I can spot an act when I see one—but at the end of the day, a bit of forced cheerfulness is still much easier to stomach than someone who decides to be miserable twenty-four seven.

It’s funny how life works—if you really want to make something happen, you find a way, but if you don't, you always find an excuse. I’ve noticed a recurring pattern with friends who are in relationships; they seem to gravitate toward other couples, almost as if being single makes you a secondary option for a social outing. Which, let’s be honest, is completely unfair! Then you have that other type—the ones who are your absolute best friends while they're single, but the second they land a partner, they suddenly act like they’re too important for everyone else. They vanish into their new lives until, inevitably, the breakup happens and they come crawling back. At the end of the day, if someone consistently can't make time for you, they aren't a true friend—you simply aren't a priority to them. And frankly? People like that just aren't worth your energy.

ironrider11 said:"Higher"? You mean like... how do you even define that?
It's about free will; making a choice; not "having" brain cancer...

We are discussing things that are within our sphere of influence! One of those things—crucially—is our own attitude and how we conduct ourselves. You don't get a vote in whether you develop cancer, but you absolutely have the power to decide whether to be a decent person or something else entirely.

velvetstag5 said:There is no "pays off" vs "doesn't pay off." It’s either you're one of them or you're one of us, period.
The second you start looking for a payoff, you've already joined their side. We aren't about profit; we're about ideals.

The only debate is whether you're intentionally garbage or if you just stumbled into it by mistake.

Honestly, we're all a little bit garbage sometimes; some people just admit it, while others...

From what I can see, we make a choice every single day. We get to decide whether to be decent human beings or complete villains. As for this whole "profitability" argument—I truly believe that, deep down, every human soul leans toward something higher. And let's be honest: it's nearly impossible to reach any kind of greatness through sheer malice.

Donna White50 said:My own experience tells me that the most important thing is really the crowd you hang out with and the environment you grow up in. You've gotta keep in mind that you can't have a real conversation with an idiot—so, you aren't going to get anything positive out of bad people, and it works the same way for the good ones.
So, yeah, be picky about your friends and inner circle. In other parts of life where you're forced to deal with all sorts of losers, you just have to learn how to set boundaries. As kind, genuine people, we become prime targets for those who've learned how to exploit others... and those types love finding easy prey...

I think I'm going to raise my kids with that mindset—teaching them to respect everyone, but above all, to respect themselves... even if that means giving someone a taste of their own medicine when they deserve it.

Well, I totally agree. I assume most people already know how to set boundaries with strangers (like coworkers or casual acquaintances...) and I don't think that specific part causes too much trouble for the average person.
The real kicker, however, is when someone you actually love or someone close to you exploits your good intentions or treats you like an idiot.

Nancy Lee84 said:Hey analogviper9, I fixed your slip-up...
I'll try to pull this whole response together, though honestly, I doubt I'll even pull it off... 🙂

There’s this great German concept that might actually help me explain this—*wertfrei*. Honestly, the best way to put it in English would be a total liberation from all those preconceived notions... just being completely stripped of any baggage or past experiences you carry around. It’s not about being "neutral" or "objective," and it sure as hell isn't just being unbiased. It’s more like taking an explicit, intentional stance... which is exactly why I used the word dogma, even if that wasn't the most perfect choice of words...

I was just talking about the stuff I believe in blindly... you know, things that are totally objective and beyond debate...
Look, I'm not even asking questions here—I'm just laying it all out on the table... is it actually worth being a total shark? Or do the straight shooters actually make it in this life? Like, does karma actually exist or is it all just a scam? Is it better to be the good guy, the bad guy, or just plain evil... kind of like those old gritty Western movies... 😉 Questions like that are just a waste of time and only serve to muddy the waters... I'm not getting dragged into some black-and-white Manichean bullshit or any pathetic attempts at "objectivity"...

I'm not even that ambitious or full of myself, honestly... I'm just straight up exhausted from my own lack of discipline and all the stupid mistakes I keep making...

So I just choose to believe there's actually some kind of point to all this madness... even if science says otherwise. It’s way easier on my soul that way, honestly. Makes me feel less like Sisyphus pushing that rock up a hill forever... just imagining my life isn't totally pointless. Even if I am being a bit much about it... 🙂

Thanks for the correction.

Hmm, but that doesn't quite satisfy me. I agree that there are times when one should be neutral. But to me, that feels more like leaning toward indifference.
I honestly can't say whether that’s truly a "good" solution or not—though, then again, maybe it works just fine for you personally?
But here is the thing: if others observe you acting completely indifferent in a given situation, they might just follow your lead! And if everyone starts mimicking that lack of concern, we’ll eventually find ourselves living in a society full of indifferent people who simply couldn't care less about one another.

Nancy Lee84 said:this isn't even about whether it's "worth it" or not. that's not an economic calculation, it's more like a matter of dogma.
Aristotle puts it pretty clearly in his Ethics: 'Every art and every inquiry, and similarly every action and pursuit, is thought to aim at some good; and so it is truly said that the good is that at which all things aim.'

If you just accept that dogma—since it’s basically an uncritical, affirmative premise for how we act—then you finally have a direction. "Direction" is a way better word than "stance." Because a direction actually leads somewhere. It keeps moving. It's toward faith. Not necessarily religious faith, but faith in humanity. Not just in specific people, but in the whole species...

To even have a "stance" on anything, you'd have to be conscious enough to realize that the right stance is actually not having one. A stance holds you back. It limits you. It locks you into certain principles and patterns of behavior that you stick to. Usually, it's just the result of internalization—absorbing norms and behaviors from others and thinking they're our own. It's paradoxical because instead of showing autonomy, a "stance" shows the exact opposite tendency. That's why I don't believe in stances. I believe in losing them. And that's why I think "direction" is the better term...

And the consequence of that uncritical belief is that you ask fewer questions. Everything becomes simpler. The categories, the answers, everything.

Oh, really? Now, I strongly disagree! I think it is absolutely an economic question. If you treat someone well, there is a much higher statistical probability that they will return the favor down the road. Of course, you shouldn't be a good person just for the sake of the ROI—you do it for the greater good!

If someone treats me poorly, it implies that I should act the same way toward others. But surely, a person behaving badly won't serve as my role model? Quite the opposite—they become the very example of what I refuse to become.

Anonymous said:Sometimes I can’t help but feel like life would be a lot easier if I were just more ruthless. But honestly? That’s just not who I am, and I don't know how to function in an environment like that. Even when I’m surrounded by people who seem well-meaning on the surface—even though we all know deep down they’re total snakes—I still give them the benefit of the doubt until they eventually stab me in the back. When they do, I just end up feeling disappointed, angry, and heartbroken, wondering how this keeps happening to me. I truly love genuine, good people, but they tend to live in their own little bubbles. Nowadays, if you actually want to build a meaningful life and surround yourself with decent human beings, it feels like you have to fight through a gauntlet of chaos just to establish a sense of security and independence.

I’m curious to hear from you guys: how have you structured your lives to find peace? More importantly, how do you navigate around the materialists, the egoists, and those selfish power-trippers with warped values who seem to hold all the cards?

In my view, you simply cannot fake being a genuinely good person. Once someone gains a bit of real-world experience, their true colors inevitably come out to play.

Regarding society at large, I've noticed a pattern: individuals with weak characters or low self-esteem tend to cling heavily to corrupt people.
It's because they eventually morph into that very same type of person themselves.
Perhaps it's fear—they see that perceived power and think they need to be near it to survive.

Speaking from experience, I truly believe it pays to be a good, moral person—but *only* if you back that goodness up with a backbone! If you are "good" but lack a firm stance, people will simply walk all over you.

Malice always finds its way back to haunt you, and let's face it: those kinds of people rarely enjoy a clear conscience. So, isn't it much better to sleep soundly at night knowing you've surrounded yourself with people who are actually well-meaning?

Sam Cooper2 said:Hey everyone, I've been lurking and reading through a few threads on this subforum, so I figured it was finally time to chime in myself 🙂

To give you a bit of a rundown, I'm 21, working, high school diploma...

Throughout my entire life, I’ve always had people telling me how smart I am, yet how I’ll never actually do anything with it; I can still vividly picture my old teacher from the physics department back in middle school saying, "...it's such a shame about that brain of yours, because if you just applied yourself even a little bit, you'd be a PhD by now." I guess the whole PhD thing was just a metaphor, but I'll never forget her... she was always telling me, just a little more effort, just study a tiny bit harder, and back then I honestly thought my parents had bribed her just to make sure I got into a decent high school 😵, but it turned out to be the exact same story in high school, where a teacher from the American language department used the same lines, trying to "steer" me toward the right path; I remember one class specifically when I was texting on my phone while calling out answers, and she just snapped, stood up and started yelling at the entire class, telling me to wait for her after the bell—she was screaming at everyone because they were all sitting there clueless while I was just distracted by my phone, even though I knew the answers...

After class, she gave me another lecture about my potential and how much of an idiot I'd be if I just settled for a high school diploma, which, honestly, hasn't changed one bit to this day
.

To recap things a little, throughout my whole education, I never really felt a connection to books—it always felt like such a chore—but I never once worried about my future, because deep down I know something big is waiting for me; I don't know what that "something" is yet, but I know it's coming...

I've always had this internal conviction that I'm the type of person who will change the world; I have no idea how that'll happen, obviously, but I hope it leads to something better rather than something worse 😁

So now I'm wondering, is this just "youthful naivety," this constant hoping for something better, or
Have any of you ever struggled with these kinds of questions about yourselves, or did you all just move through life following a pre-set plan?

I have so many questions swirling around, but I can never quite find the right words to pin them down; I see myself as a significant individual, the kind that's becoming increasingly rare these days, and I say that without a shred of egoism, since my ego is actually quite small...

Best,

I believe you're intelligent, but it doesn't matter if you're lazy.
Maybe it would be better to step it up a notch now, so you aren't left looking back at your old days thinking, "I could have, but I didn't."

Amy Ramos93 said:Why is it that some people just don't want to (or maybe they just can't) be the frontman—the leader—but they thrive when they're playing second fiddle?
When you put them at the helm of a crew, a non-profit, or even a local political committee, they basically stay invisible. But once they step into that number two spot—the deputy role—that’s when their actual potential finally shows up. They go all in for the team or the project, sometimes even outworking the actual boss.

Can anyone explain why this happens?

The very first thing that jumps to mind is the sheer weight of responsibility, the crushing stress, and those relentless expectations placed on a leader. When you're operating in the background, there isn't nearly as much pressure on your shoulders—which might actually spark a hidden desire to compete with the person at the top!

As for the leaders themselves, well, some people are just born for it—it comes naturally to them and they handle the heat without breaking a sweat—whereas others are essentially forced into leadership roles by circumstance.

Douglas Phillips7 said:Calling all social anxiety warriors!!!

I’m looking to put together a small group here in Chicago—about ten people—to dive into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The goal is to meet up, share our personal stories, hang out, and actually work through CBT techniques together. This whole idea was sparked by a forum member, "tns"! Huge thanks to tns for suggesting this; we desperately need more groups like this. There are way too many people struggling with social phobia; it quietly devours us, one massive bite at a time.

According to the literature on how to most effectively apply CBT for social phobia, working in a group setting is absolutely essential for achieving optimal treatment and the best possible results.
For those who aren't familiar, the book I'm referencing is "Overcoming social anxiety : step by step" by Dr. Thomas Richards. Here is a link to an English version if you want to check it out:

If you're interested, shoot me a private message!
Let's crush this SFobi once and for all!

So, what exactly is eating away at you? Give me some details—describe those specific situations or give me an example.🙂

Douglas Phillips7 said:Calling all social anxiety warriors!!!

I’m looking to put together a small group here in Chicago—about ten people—to dive into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The goal is to meet up, share our personal stories, hang out, and actually work through CBT techniques together. This whole idea was sparked by a forum member, "tns"! Huge thanks to tns for suggesting this; we desperately need more groups like this. There are way too many people struggling with social phobia; it quietly devours us, one massive bite at a time.

According to the literature on how to most effectively apply CBT for social phobia, working in a group setting is absolutely essential for achieving optimal treatment and the best possible results.
For those who aren't familiar, the book I'm referencing is "Overcoming social anxiety : step by step" by Dr. Thomas Richards. Here is a link to an English version if you want to check it out:

If you're interested, shoot me a private message!
Let's crush this SFobi once and for all!

I really love the idea, but I don't personally struggle with social anxiety.
I tend to have a strong animosity toward certain types of people—does that count as being part of this group😁?