Posts by Kenneth Howard7

Zachary Smith91 said:What are you actually afraid of here?
That you won't find fulfillment at the new job?
That you'll break the established patterns that feel "safe" to you?
You already know the new job is better, pays more, and offers more responsibility, right?
So what is this fear really...? Jobs and relationships are apples and oranges. Career is one sphere of life, and love and romance are a completely different sphere.

Sure, things can overlap—like deciding whether to choose Mark or Peter... I know Mark, but Peter is a total enigma... Mark represents stability, while Peter is something I don't even recognize.

But look, if we don't dare to change things, especially when the very fact that we *want* to change means something is wrong... playing around with the idea of not having the guts to move to a better, more interesting job is basically gambling with fate. It's essentially giving up on something better just because you're terrified of breaking your routine.

I am certain you would thrive at that other job and feel so much better.
Why won't you allow yourself this tiny little risk? In your case, it's actually a pretty small leap... you'd be doing a better job, learning something new, and adding a massive win to your resume. From a purely rational standpoint, there is only one right move.
Don't blow it... opportunities like this don't come around often.

The reality is that even though I genuinely prefer that other line of work (since I've already had a taste of it) and even though I could definitely earn more there (because it’s where my talents lie), it feels like a definitive step down the social ladder. That role doesn't align with my education at all, and back when I did it previously (out of pure necessity), people tended to look at me with pity—now, with my experience and extra training under my belt, that judgment will likely be even harsher.

It's like if I were working at JPMorgan Chase right now and suddenly decided to become a hairstylist because I truly enjoy it, yet in the eyes of my family and community, I'd be making a massive mistake.

Do you honestly believe that love and career can't be compared? To me, searching for the right partner and building a career seem like very similar pursuits. Every choice we make somehow limits our future options, but the passage of time and the narrowing of possibilities eventually force us to accept offers that aren't necessarily perfect.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Why do you feel like you "need" anything at all? And does it even matter what anyone else is up to? Just ask yourself who you want to be, what you want to own, what you want to do, and what kind of people you want in your circle—then just start living that life. Don't stress about hitting some perfect standard; just do the best you can with what you know. Get your head and your heart on the same page, keep moving forward, and try to actually enjoy the ride along the way. 🙂

And honestly, being too attached to things—whether it's a partner or a job—is where the trouble starts. Sure, it's great to understand, respect, and love people, but becoming dependent on someone or something? That's a trap. If you want to meet different people or try out new connections, then wrap up what you have now and move on. No guilt trips, no regrets—just take the good memories and the experiences you gained with you. And hey, if you're meant to cross paths again later, you will.

In truth, I would simply like to be a responsible person who can sleep soundly at night. My problem is that I only realize this after I've already jumped headlong into some uncertain situation. Every time I feel like I'm finally on the right track, boredom sets in. I start downplaying my own success and security until I inevitably stumble again. It’s great to have the freedom to pivot at any time, but as the years pass, those options start to dwindle.

John Baker said:Most people are just existing. There is zero actual fulfillment there. If you look at the statistics on psychotropic drug usage in America, the truth is pretty obvious.😁
You can't be happy if you're constantly betraying your own nature. Now you have to decide which group you want to belong to: the majority or the minority. Of course, it’s always harder for the latter. That’s why the majority doesn't even attempt to take a risk.
If it weren't for the minority, we'd still be living in the Stone Age.

Sometimes it feels as though happiness and peace are polar opposites. Not long ago, I was sleeping peacefully, yet I felt an overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction because I wasn't acting in alignment with my intuition and my heart. Now, somehow, it has flipped. What could that signify?

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Well, it really boils down to *why* that choice isn't looking so perfect anymore. Are you backing off because it looks like too much work, or have your actual priorities shifted?

If you ask me, I’d much rather take the hit and fail than live wondering "what if." Failure is just one lost battle in the grand scheme of things—it makes you sharper, tougher, and brings you one step closer to whatever you're actually chasing. Don't let fear run the show. Playing it safe is a fool's errand because "safety" is a total myth anyway—everything changes, whether you're ready or not.

And regarding that dating thing—I don't see how getting to know someone has to involve cheating. You can be friendly and curious without crossing lines. If you truly believe there's someone better out there than your current partner, then do the right thing: break up first, then move on.

I agree that experiencing failure is preferable to maintaining the status quo. However, I observe that most people view risk-taking as unnecessary; they seem to believe that satisfaction stems from within rather than from external circumstances. I know many people who are unhappy with their jobs at companies like Amazon or Google, yet they do nothing to change their situation; instead, they try to reshape themselves to fit better into those corporate frameworks. Perhaps I should have done the same? Perhaps the issue runs much deeper than simply changing my career path?

In my case, this isn't about a romantic relationship, but I think the idea of ending a relationship because of a third party describes my situation perfectly. Sometimes, you simply cannot become close enough to someone while maintaining your current "stable" connection, because the other person won't allow it. I believe it works similarly in the professional world. You can't just tell your boss, "Okay, I'm going to go try something else for a while and come back if I don't like it."

Carl Rivera43 said:Most people would rather just jump on the bandwagon because, let’s be honest, it’s the path of least resistance.

If we look closely at that first point, though—is it actually true? How do you stay firm in your convictions without getting distracted by the noise?

I honestly don't know. I spent quite a long time weighing my options, and in the end, I chose what I felt was best for me—what my heart was pulling me toward—but now, that "perfect" choice doesn't seem quite so flawless anymore.

That’s exactly why I loathe making decisions! It feels like I constantly over-idealize things, only to face the harsh reality of their flaws once they actually happen. What do you all think? Is it sometimes better to leave certain things out of reach just to avoid the inevitable disappointment?

I'll draw a parallel here to something like choosing a partner. Imagine meeting someone wonderful and wanting to get to know them better, but doing so requires deception. Wouldn't it be better to not even try than to deal with the fallout of disappointment?

Ronald Jones said:I find myself equally terrified of that possibility. 😳 😳

And honestly, isn't it better to just make a mistake than to live in constant hesitation— wondering what might have happened if you had actually taken the leap??? That sense of— what could have been—is incredibly corrosive to the spirit. 😳 😳

Exactly! I’ve been struggling to function at work or even in my personal life for a month now because I can't stop obsessing over how things might turn out if I actually pull the trigger.

Logically, I know it isn't just about being risk-averse. In fact, staying in my current role feels like the bigger gamble! The pay is lower, job security is shaky since the company is struggling, and my relationship with my coworkers is just terrible. Plus, I'm so bored that I won't be able to sustain this career path much longer anyway.

Still, my current job is what any "sensible" person would choose. It’s a standard corporate office job where I wear a button-down, it aligns perfectly with my degree, and it looks great on a resume... whereas the other option is anything but traditional or "appropriate" for my education, but it simply fits my soul so much better.

hiddeneagle98 said:If you ask me, what we’re really looking at here is just a deep-seated fear of owning up to the fallout from your own actions.

It feels safer to just drift along with the current and let everyone else call the shots—that way, you can dodge the blame and avoid being the one pointing fingers when things go south.

But honestly, that whole mindset doesn't actually shield you from accountability; you can be just as liable for sitting on your hands as you can for taking action. You’ve probably realized this by now, and I bet there have been plenty of times in your life where you were blamed for an oversight, only to tell yourself that the person blaming you was the problem because if roles were reversed, you wouldn't have been so judgmental.

To actually break out of that loop, you have to start making moves based on what you actually want, which means feeling the sting of the consequences—usually through some early mistakes, followed by the process of making things right. That's how you actually build the muscle memory for responsibility and learn what it truly entails. Once you’ve been through that cycle, you'll find it much easier to weigh your options and figure out which risks are worth taking and which ones might lead to a mess you can't clean up. Essentially, to gain the kind of confidence that makes you feel secure, you need to go through the whole gauntlet of making mistakes, making amends, and finding forgiveness.

Yes, I agree completely! I think the root issue is definitely that fear of accountability.

I usually love it when things align perfectly or when the universe gives me a sign that I'm on the right track. But this time, I've been waiting for a sign forever and nothing is happening. If anything, things at my current job seem to be improving slightly, which is frustrating because I was hoping things would stay stagnant or get worse just to make my decision easier!
I am so conflicted; I want this change so badly, yet the sheer amount of hesitation makes me wonder if I actually want it enough.!?
Fate has dropped me a few hints before by sending those "signals," and I suppose that’s why I’m always on the lookout for some random sign from the universe, but this time... nothing.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:The easiest road isn't usually the one that does us any good. But hey, at the end of the day, the choice is yours, and you're the one living the life. Why on earth do you feel like you have to stick to what society calls "normal"? Live by your own rules, not everyone else's.

But yeah, you can always choose to just shut up and take it. Just realize that if you settle now, you’ll probably keep settling for things that suck for the rest of your life. Eventually, you'll just get used to suffering. But how long can you really sustain a life you hate: ten weeks, ten months, ten years, or just your whole damn life? Even if you white-knuckle it through, what do you actually gain? Most people won't care how you lived anyway; they're too busy obsessing over their own lives.

Check out my signature—it might give you some perspective on what to do. And stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect script; just walk in there and do it. Or just call them if that's easier, then swing by the next day to grab your stuff.

I have to admit, I’m struggling to see how discipline actually helps with making a big decision. In fact, I feel like once I finally choose what I truly want to do, I’ll be so liberated that it might actually be a little terrifying! Isn't discipline really about the persistence required to become who we intend to be? To me, pivoting toward an unconventional lifestyle feels much more like a celebration of freedom and pure passion.

I’ve been trying my best to dissect how I actually feel about this whole situation and all the paths ahead of me, and honestly? I think the biggest thing holding me back is this deep-seated sense of fatalism I’ve carried around my entire life.

Even though I’m pretty terrible at self-reflection—it feels like I can barely wrap my head around my own emotions or what I truly want—I’ve realized that I struggle to make decisions because I tend to just drift through life on autopilot. I almost always let other people call the shots instead of taking the wheel myself. I much prefer letting things happen organically rather than trying to micromanage my own future. Is that even normal? Looking at the people around me, it seems like it is. Most people I know aren't out there chasing some perfect, curated life; they just sort of stumble into their partners, their careers, and their friendships through a series of coincidences...

That’s exactly why I’m so conflicted right now. It feels like if I were to actually pursue this idea that keeps pulling at me, I would have to fight against that natural inertia—starting with something as massive as quitting my job and completely restructuring my daily routine. There’s this strange part of me that feels like Providence would just step in and ensure I get laid off if that somehow served a higher purpose for me. Am I being ridiculous? Should I be looking into therapy to deal with this "fatalistic" mindset?
I’ve always been this passive, regardless of the circumstances. Does it even make sense to try and change who I am?

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:I honestly think you already know the answer—I mean, if you were actually feeling good about the path you’ve been taking lately, you wouldn't even be starting this thread in the first place. So, look, just man up, find that spark, and start acting on what you actually give a damn about. 🙂 Sure, there are going to be highs and lows—that's just how the game works—and life throws curveballs at you regardless of whether you pick a career you love or one that feels like a grind.

The real danger—the absolute biggest mistake you can make—is playing it safe and never taking a single leap. Because if you don't take risks, you aren't really living; you're just checking boxes and watching the clock until the day is done.

I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to change careers for quite some time now. I know exactly which option is better (it’s far superior, at least for me, though career choices are always subjective, right?), but it isn't a conventional move. Part of me is hesitant because it's unconventional, part of me lacks the backbone to stand up to my bosses, and part of me is just too lazy for such a massive upheaval, so I can't seem to pull the trigger on resigning. To make matters worse, this second opportunity won't wait forever; if I want to grab it, my deadline is fast approaching.

restlesscanyon5 said:Don't just take the path of least resistance.

Nothing in life comes with a guarantee. Not even those decisions we’re absolutely certain about. Things can fall apart before you even realize it.

So why be afraid?

We all run the risk of failing, even when we start out with the best intentions. That applies to everything, not just your career. That's just how life works. It's part of growing up, too.

Responsibility is pretty subjective anyway; at the end of the day, it really just boils down to your own conscience.

If you have the chance, do what you love and what actually fulfills you. Take that fear and turn it into a drive to be the best at what you do. Trust me, people notice when you put in the work, and eventually, it pays off.

Your job is to show up and take ownership. You're going to mess up—that's a given. You're a human being, not some programmed machine, and humans make mistakes. As long as it isn't intentional, you'll be fine.

I know exactly what I want, but I’m still lacking the guts to go for it. I’ve already proven that I’d be excellent in that other role, whereas in my current job, I’m just mediocre—maybe even less than that. Financially and personally, that second option is so much better, but it’s just so non-traditional, and that’s what holds me back. Honestly, I also probably struggle because I don't know how to actually quit; I hate delivering bad news to people.

I can't believe I'm considering staying at a job where I spend my entire week just counting down the minutes until Friday, especially when I have the chance to do something where I don't even have to worry about strict hours or specific days off!

I’m not entirely sure if I’ve picked the luckiest headline possible, but I hope my explanation makes my point clear:

It has happened to me more times than I care to admit—when faced with several different paths, I deliberately pick the lesser option. It's almost as if I am terrified of the responsibility that comes with actually pursuing what I truly want.

Now, I find myself facing a similar dilemma regarding a potential career move. I am tempted to make a foolish choice just to play it safe; if I opt for the inferior path, I have a built-in excuse for my dissatisfaction. But if I actually go after my dream job, then any failure rests solely on my own shoulders.

I feel that this particular psychological trap is rarely discussed in our society, yet I see so many people struggling against social pressures that prevent them from living authentically. What are your thoughts on this? Do you believe it is right to conform to societal norms and stay within standardized life patterns, rather than doing what truly fulfills us?

It sounds to me like you should end that relationship immediately and finally start living your actual life! Don't you think a connection built on such shaky ground is destined to fail, regardless of how things look right now?

I’ve been in a nearly identical situation myself. I was involved with a guy who struggled with serious mental health issues, and he managed to pass a huge chunk of his chaos down to me. After years of constant fighting and tension, I went from being a totally normal person to feeling like a complete robot—I actually forgot how to behave normally! Even though he eventually calmed down and the arguments stopped after a few years, I still ended the relationship the very moment an opportunity arose because I just couldn't shake the past. But let me tell you, it was a total rebirth! I went from a hopeless situation back to being my true self in every way—professionally, socially, and mentally. I'm finally that person again with big dreams and real plans!

Kevin Nguyen3 said:But see, amenorrhea isn't the actual disease itself, is it? It's merely a symptom—a signal! A signpost telling us that something is fundamentally wrong deep inside.
More often than not, we are talking about a cyst, or perhaps a tumor...
Yes, that second part is absolutely correct; it is indeed a dark chapter of medical science.😢

Well, if someone typically enjoys a regular cycle, then amenorrhea definitely serves as a major red flag! However, for women dealing with PCOS, the underlying cause is often far more complex. Back in high school, my doctors sent me through every test imaginable—they practically drained liters of blood from me—and they still couldn't find a single thing wrong.

Melissa Sanchez8 said:Headaches can definitely be a side effect of those hormone pills you're taking. Especially since they seemed to show up so suddenly.

You really shouldn't start hormone therapy without getting blood work done first. Those things aren't exactly harmless...
You should also take a break from them for at least six months every couple of years.

If your OB-GYN won't order the blood tests, honestly, it might be time to find a new doctor.
Prescribing medication blindly without checking your hormone levels is just wrong.
Plus, leaving amenorrhea untreated isn't good for you either.

You're young... there's no reason to cause unnecessary damage when you can avoid it.
You really shouldn't start hormone therapy without getting blood work done first. Those things aren't exactly harmless...
You should also take a break from them for at least six months every couple of years.

If your OB-GYN won't order the blood tests, honestly, it might be time to find a new doctor.
Prescribing medication blindly without checking your hormone levels is just wrong.
Plus, leaving amenorrhea untreated isn't good for you either.

You're young... there's no reason to cause unnecessary damage when you can avoid it.
Unfortunately, in most instances, amenorrhea isn't something you can just fix. If someone actually discovers a cure for it, they’ll likely be looking at a Nobel Prize.
I have been reading stories online about women who managed to overcome PCOS, but it wasn't through medication—rather, through incredibly strict diets and total lifestyle overhauls, which strikes me as such a restrictive way to live.

It really feels like endocrinology is a dark corner of the medical field.😢

Brandon Lopez6 said:I know thyroid issues can totally tank your mood and lead to depression, but I’m wondering how everything else plays into it—specifically female sex hormones.

I was falling down a Google rabbit hole yesterday and honestly, the info out there is all over the place. I really need someone to break this down with some solid facts, preferably in plain English that won't make my head spin 🙈.

I am quite certain that hormones have a massive impact on our mental state and play a significant role in depression. Sex hormones don't just operate in a vacuum; their functions are incredibly interconnected.

While I have read quite a bit on the subject, I cannot back this up with clinical studies or specific endocrinology expertise since I am not a doctor. However, from my own personal experience managing PCOS, I can tell you that I am a completely different person depending on whether I am on birth control or not. When I'm taking the pill, I feel totally numb and indifferent to everything. But when I'm off them and testosterone takes over, I become extremely energetic and barely want to sleep!

I also suspect that adrenal hormones play a major role in depression.

At one point in my life, I hit the jackpot and came into more money than I ever thought possible, and honestly, all that cash really provided was pure freedom.

The freedom to take risks whenever I felt like it! If someone suggested hitting up a fancy steakhouse, I’d say yes without a second thought. If I walked out to my car and found a parking ticket, I wouldn't even blink. I could sign up for some totally random $800 seminar just because, shell out $1167 for a plane ticket before I even knew if I actually needed to travel, or drop $50 on a bike rental just because I didn't dock it properly at the station—and I wouldn't even bother trying to dispute the charge 🙂

In the end, it didn't give me anything beyond that sense of liberty... now, the money is gone, and I find myself overthinking every single decision. The days of reckless risking are officially over...

Comparing Canada and America just serves as further proof of the Phillips curve.

Basically, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

While standards of living in Canada are lower—with average salaries being about $220 less—finding a job there isn't quite the lottery win it feels like here in America.

Our unemployment rate is actually double that of the Canadians specifically because our wages are far too high relative to the actual state of our economy. This is especially true for those working in the public sector.

True, being in a relationship can be incredibly limiting when it comes to your social life.

Even if you happen to have a very tolerant partner, it’s tough! It’s hard to go somewhere, meet an absolutely fascinating person, and spend hours talking to them—only to then feel obligated to dedicate an entire evening to that newcomer. This is especially tricky if they are the opposite sex. Because once that happens, your significant other is bound to show up demanding their "fair share" of your attention.

It happens to me all the time! I’ll run into these incredibly interesting people, regardless of gender, and there is just something priceless about having the freedom to engage with them as much as you want.

I don’t have an issue with love itself, but I find relationships repulsive because they stem from this fundamental idea of ownership.

If you really think about it, just saying "my boyfriend" or "my girlfriend" uses possessive pronouns that imply we own another human being, which, in my opinion, is just twisted. Sure, parents and family members are "ours" by blood, but trying to claim someone outside of that circle is pure possessiveness.

For instance, if I happen to fall for someone, I certainly feel the need to be near them and to make them like me—but I have zero desire to possess them. Likewise, the thought of someone else "claiming" me is completely off-putting.

It's as if people aren't already tied down enough by their careers, mortgages, college degrees, housing, hobbies, and all that; now they want to commit themselves to someone else's emotions and, even worse, their free time.

For me, it really boils down to practicality and my bank account.

Think about it—maintaining a certain look and keeping up with grooming takes a massive amount of both time and money. When I’m flying solo, I can just skip the hair removal until I actually head to the beach (if I even bother 😁, honestly), and it feels incredibly liberating. I know there are guys out there who wouldn't mind if their partner was a bit more low-maintenance, but usually, those guys don't put much effort into themselves either, and I'm just not sure I could deal with someone like that 😁. I realize how hypocritical that sounds, though.

Plus, there are all these endless compromises that end up draining your time and cash. Of course, maybe one day after I've finally read every book on my list, mastered several languages, and realized I have nowhere to go with all this knowledge, I might actually want someone by my side. But even then, I'm fully aware that my options will be pretty limited 😢

Carl Nguyen27 said:just bumping this up a bit 🙂

I’ve totally noticed this pattern with myself—whenever someone starts acting distant or unavailable, they suddenly become way more attractive...

Like, if some guy is constantly flirting with me and I'm feeling it, I don't even care that much. But the second I realize he's cooling off or shifting his focus to someone else? Boom. Suddenly he's all I can think about, and I'm already over here plotting my next move just to get him interested again. Anyone else deal with this? 😁

This happens to me all the time too! Though, I suspect it's because people tend to be cautious; nobody wants to feel smothered by excessive attention, especially from someone they barely know. We've all dealt with those intense types in our lives—the ones where you offer them a finger and they take the whole hand. So, when I see that I'm not the only one on someone's radar, it actually feels much more comfortable.

Haha, this whole thread really gave me a good laugh!😂
I happen to be left-handed, and if I’m being honest, I feel like I’m the dimmest bulb in the room most of the time—and please, don't mistake that for low self-esteem; it's just an objective observation on my part! From what I've seen, other lefties I know tend to stand out for their lack of wits even more than right-handed people do.
What strikes me as unique about myself and others like me is this slightly different, perhaps more naive way of perceiving reality. You could arguably interpret it as a form of creativity, which might even be linked to how our brain hemispheres function.🙂