Posts by nimblewolf11

Quote : Inside Silence

frozengull2 said:nimblewolf11;

to start with,
it's the church that has this centuries-old habit of trampling over—though they totally fail to grasp it—the original spiritual values! but hey, the winds are shifting lately toward creating new ways of thinking where new natural values can actually grow, which is basically what the human spirit craves anyway. it's a far cry from those artificial, processed constructs of twisted and made-up values that were cooked up just to serve their own interests throughout history, all at the expense of the regular folks who were basically told they deserved their poverty and suffering.

First off, it wasn't the Catholic Church reacting to the sign-up, it was me.
So, you aren't picking a fight with the church; you're picking a fight with my honest, blunt-force opinion regarding all that New Jersey-style barking at Christian values.
You'd be better off tackling me and my actual life experience instead of throwing out those cliché, anti-Christian stereotypes.
It’s crystal clear where you stand.
Just total, blown-out, New Jersey-style anti-Christian nonsense.
You can try to hide it, but you can't flip yourself upside down to mask it.
Unlike you, I look at Christianity through a completely different lens (just spontaneously, intuitively, and from experience)... based on what I personally "see" and feel spiritually.
Am I wrong about something?

..your posts on this thread just drip with destructive rage.. from some wounded, negative ego!

Is my attempt to call out someone else's hypocrisy "destructive rage"?
A wounded, negative ego?
I'm dying to know how a "positive ego" calls out hypocrisy?
By nodding along like some apologetic little lapdog?
The post that triggered this whole sub-thread was nothing more than basic, low-level, political-style propaganda.
What kind of ego are we talking about here?
Some "inspiredly positive" constructive type?

Did you even read my opening post?
Is it clear what I was pointing out (or are you just playing dumb)?

shouldn't the fundamental value of Christianity be love, spreading love....? where are these "Christian values" actually visible in action?? how can something universal (God, Christ, Love..) be institutionalized, claimed as property belonging to someone? in what segment of historical existence did Christianity actually live out those values???

What are you even talking about?
Who's stopping you from living by Christian principles?
The church?
Give me a break... you and your confusion/cluelessness.
So, calling out the propaganda preaching from SW/her hypocrisy and two-facedness in that sense—that's somehow attacking the very core of love?
Your phrases sound as pathetic as something ripped from a cheap Hallmark card; "segment of historical existence of spreading love"!!?
Just because you say something with passion doesn't mean you're right.
It just means you're passionate... basically self-combustible.

When did Christianity actually live out Christian values?
Christianity produced thousands of saints (people who lived, lived, died, and are still dying today for what they hold in their hearts).

Do you even know anything about them?

Why did Christianity turn into this mess of intolerance, hypocrisy, labeling everyone, and just straight-up mocking anyone who thinks differently...? Why do people claiming to be Christian get so triggered when they get hit with actual constructive criticism? Where did it all go wrong, and was there ever even a version of this that actually practiced being tolerant toward the original message?

That’s not what Christianity stands for, you’re just putting words in its mouth.

Just trash-talking for the sake of it isn't "constructive feedback"—it's just being a jerk.
The only one being hypocritical and obsessed with labels here is SW.
I’ve already made my point crystal clear, no ambiguity about it.
It’s so obvious you could see it from an airplane (like those high-altitude capsules Felix Baumgartner jumped out of recently).
Why are you acting so surprised?
The fact that I can practically hear the emotionalism in your voice proves that this topic is spot on and my arguments are solid.

I get the feeling you're just throwing around rehearsed phrases... looks like you've got the same goal in mind.

Btw; why does constructive criticism offend you so much?
I’m talking about the dilemma laid out in the first post—on one hand, you have people bashing Christians, and on the other, you have people sweeping the filthiness of the guy driving this whole fixation under the rug.

The answer to this and plenty of other similar questions is pretty simple and can be summed up in just a few words! Christianity, along with most other religions (new, old, small, big, whatever...), is constantly clashing with itself and the rest of the world in all sorts of sneaky ways. It’s because, throughout its entire existence, it hasn’t been able to rise above its animalistic nature—that hyper-focused, selfish consciousness and the petty ego. By definition, that kind of mindset is immature; it's the ego of puffed-up leaders controlling a bunch of unconscious individuals, molding their lives however they please.

So now you’ve just invented your own personal religion, some unique path to mystical enlightenment!?
Your own little personal legend that serves as its own goal and purpose... sounds like music to your ears.
You basically just pick and choose whatever bits suit you best while practicing your little routine...
Depending on how you’re feeling or what your "vibe" is at the moment... tucked away safely in your little bubble.

I bet you don't really care about what's happening in your actual surroundings or how this affects your loved ones... I assume.
As long as things are fine for you / as long as your comfort zone (so-called "karma") isn't disturbed, right?
When someone points out the fact that this might not actually be good... that people aren't actually growing spiritually but are just stagnating and catering to themselves—they get pissed off and pull the "righteous indignation" card, screaming about Christian values.

That’s exactly how SW acted too... without bothering to look at her own mess.
Her obsession with the legend is so codependent that she completely ignores the fact that the guy whose writings hypnotized her was just your average con artist. He basically recycled a bunch of different teachings, packaged them into a few books, and through sheer manipulation, drove several naive, truth-seeking women toward suicide.

Totally stuck in her obsession, she’s now trying to lecture others with this fake, self-righteous attitude;
“Aha... look how some Christians reacted in the past!!”
“I read this on some liberal, shallow-political, anti-Christian website...”
(even though nobody actually called her out on it)

So, what is she actually trying to tell us?

That my father's spiritual value is questionable, for example?
Or that hers is beyond doubt?

Can you see how low this approach is? This pathetic attempt to undermine people?

For instance, here is something from the usual arsenal of those "holy" church dignitaries (words they love to repeat): God loves you more than the birds in the sky and other non-human creatures, and since He takes care of them and ensures they have food without worry, you shouldn't worry about what you'll eat either...
What does God even care about? Like, who does He love more or less? Who’s His favorite and who’s on His bad side? And if everything isn't His, then whose birds are they? What kind of God sits there categorizing creatures by "value"—unless it's just some human brain trying way too hard to judge everything!

Okay... so you're a vegetarian.
Are you pushing that whole Hinduism thing?
I mean, aren't plants living things too? They deserve to stay off our dinner plates, right?
Do you really think you're somehow better than them?
What makes you any more special than a damn cucumber?
The fact that you've got a keyboard and can type on a forum?
(Honestly, the answer to that is the same as what you were rambling about earlier... maybe just try answering it yourself.)

Anyone with eyes can see there's zero benefit here—it's actually just harmful. People are being misled by twisted interpretations, their minds are being played with, and everyone's just having this emotional relationship with God. Prayer starts looking less like actual growth or tapping into inner potential and more like just begging God for some random, selfish favors.....

My family—my dad, my mom, and my grandma—are living proof that isn't true.
I haven't met a more spiritual man than my father.
And when I say that, I mean he actually lives out what's in his heart by example.
When I look at how he lives compared to all those New Age posers, those fake gurus and charlatans running around these parts, I see how hollow, pathetic, and staged they all are.
They barely understand spirituality... the "inspiration" they try to force on people is so shallow.
They babble on about building a "personal legend," but my old man—even though he wouldn't give a damn about stuff like that—is a living legend.
At least in my book.
He’s put more soul into the things right in front of me than all those "spiritual remedies" people try to sell from the outside.

Your problem is that you don't have anyone back home who's actually alive, real, or close to their heart to look up to.
That's why you're so narrow-minded and clearly frustrated/brainwashed by that New Age crap.
I get where you're coming from, though.
You just don't know any better.

It's a shame.
(Plus, it means any random hack can manipulate you with a few New Age heart-tugging lines or some marketing-driven, mystical bullshit)

When you don't have your own internal compass, you end up grasping at anyone else's desperation like a drunk person grabbing a railing.
Every little emotional outburst gets mistaken for some "mystical experience."
But someone else's experience is always just that, nimblewolf11. It's not yours.
No matter how much you try to deny it, you'll always be an outsider—just a broken telephone, hearing a story third-hand.

Whatever—it looks like you've officially joined the side of those church grumblers!

Quote : Inside Silence

What kind of ego trip is this, anyway?

Angry, biased...

Quote : Inside Silence

So, what's actually stopping you from living by Christian principles? Seriously—what is it? Is it just life getting in the way, or is there something deeper holding us back? The Church? Oh, please... you and this constant confusion—honestly, what is it with you not getting this? So, does pointing out all that propaganda preaching from SW actually boil down to her being hypocritical—like, she’s being totally two-faced and essentially attacking the very heart of what love is supposed to be?

You're totally missing the mark here—how can you say that?
Of course, nobody is getting back to me regarding my love life! Honestly, though—why would I even care? I’m just living my life and soaking up those moments of pure bliss whenever they decide to show up spontaneously. Isn't that the whole point?
But look, this isn't actually about me—I was aiming my comments right at the church dignitaries! I mean, where is all that supposed love they preach? Or would you agree that it’s mostly just a facade, wrapped up in these awkward, superficial displays of sentimentality?

Quote : Inside Silence

By the way—why does it feel like you take constructive criticism as a personal attack? Is it just me, or does it seem like you get offended by helpful feedback?

Not in the slightest! Honestly, I couldn't care less about New York!
I’m not offended by any of these "facts"—honestly, I’m actually pretty glad all this nonsense is finally being laid bare! But just a heads-up, though—watch out, because there are absolutely no exceptions to this.
Maybe you could try stepping out of that defensive shell once in a while? Wouldn't it be refreshing to just let go of the guard rails for a bit?

Quote : Inside Silence

So... you're a vegetarian? Are you actually out here advocating for Hinduism? By the way—don't you think plants are conscious beings too? Shouldn't they deserve a chance to stay off our dinner plates? Do you honestly think you're better than them? What exactly makes you think you're somehow better than a total loser?

What would Hinduism even be doing in this part of the world? It belongs exactly where it's supposed to be—somewhere else!
I think you missed my point! — I was actually making an allusion to that whole idea of superiority versus inferiority—you know, like how birds look at humans through "God's" eyes? I wasn't talking about feeding them or anything like that!
Isn't it a little childish to think that God created man in His own image, only for us to turn around and become this massive cosmic joke—basically a total glitch in His creative process?

Aren't all living beings just reflections of God, regardless of what they look like?

Quote : Inside Silence

I honestly haven't met anyone more spiritual than my own father! ... In my eyes, for sure!

Spirituality—at least how I see it—isn't some special prerequisite you need just to measure how much someone is in sync with God, nature, the Holy Spirit, or the universe. It’s not about checking a box! I honestly believe that our entire lives are inherently spiritual; it really just comes down to where we choose to point our focus—toward materialism or toward the spiritual side of things. At the end of the day, both matter and spirit are subject to the same laws of space and time in which they exist, right? If a spirit is primarily oriented toward the material world, it experiences the material... whereas if the interest is focused on the spirit, that's what we experience as the abstract. It's all about that orientation!

Humans are naturally compassionate—which basically means we’re all softies at heart!

When you don't have your own solid ground to stand on, you end up grabbing onto someone else's desperation just to stay afloat—kind of like a drunk person clutching at a life raft.
Every single emotional outburst gets misread as some deep mystical experience.
But someone else's experience is always just that—someone else's, nimblewolf11.
No matter how hard you try to deny it, you'll always be an outsider (a flawed interpreter, a broken telephone, or just a story told through a third party).

There is no "theirs," no "ours," no "mine"... it's all just noise. It's just that tiny, fearful ego playing games with our thoughts—clearly! It's terrified of losing its safe little harbor and its sense of self, those little self-deceiving lies we tell ourselves to feel secure..........
;-)

I really feel for you...!!!

frozengull2
Your issue is that you didn't grow up around any vibrant, living role models who actually lead with their hearts.
That’s why you’re so exclusive and—honestly?—so "burnout" frustrated, almost like you were indoctrinated by some intense Jersey attitude.
Though, in a way, I get where you're coming from.
You just don't know any better.

Just a little something from my own history...

You might not believe this, but during the first years of my conscious life—from what I can recall now—everything was incredibly religious, purely Christian! Even the local priest was impressed because I kept expressing interest in joining the priesthood (not that anyone in my family ever suggested it; they actually thought the idea was hilarious). After all, when it all started, we were just kids starting to connect words into meaningful sentences. My strongest memories are of evening prayers and Sunday Mass... that stayed pretty much constant until I was about nine.
By the time I hit my teens—and even earlier, really—that inclination had totally vanished. It was just the same repetitive patterns over and over again, which eventually turned into pure boredom—kind of like being served the exact same meal every single day until you can practically taste it in your ears! It wasn't until my twenties that I realized those things don't actually add an adventurous spark to life (except maybe at the very beginning); instead, they just feel like spinning endlessly in a circle of sameness. That’s actually what many long-term believers struggle with—this sense of saturation and emptiness. But they keep pushing uphill because they think God demands that kind of sacrifice, you know? Like they have to prove themselves to earn praise from the heavens. So, it’s hardly a surprise that we see such scandals emerging from church leadership almost daily—scandals that people try every possible way to cover up... well, politics is politics, right?

During that transitional period (when the new was overlapping with the old, worn-out ways), deep meditative experiences had absolutely nothing to do with emotional highs. It's true, though, that someone might mistake a manifested emotional rush for a deep, concrete experience—but that usually happens to people who haven't learned to step outside their emotional state to clearly distinguish emotion from actual experience, which are as different as night and day.
When you're experiencing emotions too intensely, you lose your footing; you aren't grounded, and you end up floating in the clouds of your own imagination. In contrast, genuine experiences ground a person just enough to make them feel complete and whole. Basically, using sentimental prayer as a tool to achieve something is just naive and, frankly, a bit silly...

I assume you see why I decided to share this firsthand account with you!

..I'm not here to be your dissident opposition.🙂

Zachary Cook2 said:It’s because they just want to be in charge. If you're on their side, great—if you aren't, then you're basically nothing.

Here's an example of what happened to me recently.
There’s this girl who constantly attends these group prayer meetings held in community halls rather than actual churches—basically part of some Christian sect that calls itself a "community." She offered me help. I've been dealing with some health issues lately, so she brought over a blessed pendant from one of her meetings and told me it would help. I turned it down. Her response? A sharp, "Fine, then stay sick, you egoist."

Basically, if you're a sheep in their fold, you're fine; if not, then rot.😁

For the record, I healed myself using natural remedies and I'm doing just fine—I'm not with them, and I'm certainly not sick.

If Jesus actually existed, he was a truly phenomenal guy, and there's a lot of good to be found in his legend. But these leaders creating these cult-like atmospheres? They’re doing the exact opposite of what Jesus stood for, all while selling it under his name.

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head there—they want to call the shots, and on top of that, they end up peddling some pretty warped interpretations. But honestly? I really don't have anything against anyone making their own choices. People can act however they want, think what they want, or believe what they want... as long as it doesn't cross personal boundaries and become exhausting for everyone else—including folks who aren't even part of the group but end up getting caught in the orbit of these wannabe believers.

Here’s an example of something that happened to me recently.
There's this girl who constantly attends group prayer meetings held in halls away from the local Catholic Church—basically, she's part of a Christian sect that calls itself a "community." She offered to help me out. Since I've been dealing with some health issues, she brought a blessed pendant from one of her prayers and offered it to me, saying it would help. I turned her down, and she just snapped at me with this totally egoistic, "Fine, then just stay sick" attitude.

Haha, okay, here's my little anecdote! A few years back, I had a handful of women and one new convert practically riding my back. They were so "concerned"—praying for me to get back on the "right path" so my soul wouldn't end up in the fires of hell if I didn't join the one true, righteous Christian God in time. Lol. Seriously, they used all sorts of sneaky tactics to try and reel me in—inviting me to seminars, retreats, telling me how popular certain groups were at the time... and when that didn't work, they'd suggest I at least try joining a prayer circle just to see what the experience was like. And oh boy, did they keep pushing! Should I even mention how much they wore me down with those empty, mindless stories about demons and other nonsense? This whole saga dragged on for almost five years! Sure, they got pretty annoying, but I actually managed to find some amusement in the middle of all that boredom.

So basically, if you're a sheep in the fold, you're good; if not, you're out of luck.😁

Whatever happens, happens!

If Jesus actually existed, he was truly a phenomenal guy. There is so much good to draw from his legend, yet these leaders who build these cult-like followings seem to act in total opposition to Jesus while selling themselves under his name.

Jesus' message during those times of massive crisis, violence, and oppression was undeniably a clear message of love and forgiveness!
I just don't understand how anyone—anybody at all—could be so heartless and claim to follow him, especially given his words and actions which were rooted in pure love and respect for life.

@frozengull2, this isn't directed at you. You were a little upset, sure, but you're generally such a sensitive, quiet, and kind-hearted person—even if you are a bit oversensitive sometimes!🙂

frozengull2 said:I’m writing this because I’m honestly just fed up with the blatant propaganda being shoved down our throats under the guise of "Christian values";
"The roots of faith, history built on the foundations of people like this..."

Sure, the topic shifted over to religion, but what was left hanging in the air—the stuff nobody wants to address—was that massive stench of hypocrisy and double standards trailing behind it.

It’s that classic New Age vibe where someone tries to lecture everyone else on morality while they’re busy sweeping their own skeletons deep into the closet back home.

I think it’s totally unfair, and we really need to have a real conversation about this.
The whole thing is basically the root cause for why so many people end up obsessed with all this spiritual nonsense.

To make my point, I’m going to bring up Carlos Castaneda, who is pretty much the poster child for this New Age garbage.

What really got under my skin is how the person who started this thread is clearly totally obsessed with him.

Okay.

Look, I haven't said anything until now because, hey, everyone’s entitled to their little obsessions, right?
But after reading her post, I just can't stay quiet anymore—I have to put this into some actual perspective;

And that perspective is this: she’s all about throwing "criticism" at Christianity (like, "Oh, let me show you how wrong you are"), yet she goes completely silent when it comes to the things she’s actually obsessed with.

Why is that?

Even the birds on the wire know that Castaneda was nothing but a con artist and a total fake who manipulated his followers straight into ruin.
And when I say ruin, I mean literal death.
These aren't just my random opinions; these are facts based on what people who actually spent years with him have testified to.

I’ve attached some links to an incredible BBC documentary on the subject (it's a seriously objective look at his life and his lies, featuring all those firsthand accounts I mentioned).
Once you watch it, you'll see what a complete circus and total mystification the whole Castaneda thing actually is.
He was just some ordinary, manipulative old man surrounded by New Age fanatics—mostly lonely, emotionally lost people—some of whom ended up meeting incredibly tragic ends.

It’s going to be interesting to watch this train wreck unfold;
People swinging a sledgehammer at traditional values, while simultaneously trying to dodge or make excuses for their own provenly fake obsessions.
Ugh, so frustrating!
Pay close attention to the woman named Alexander Nury at the start of the second clip.
Believe it or not, this woman claims she came directly from the astral plane to meet Castaneda!?
She didn't grow up in the real world; she supposedly just "appeared" a few years ago. At least, that's what he wrote in his book "dream art."
She’s supposed to be that "Blue Tracker" character he writes about... but in reality, she was just a 19-year-old waitress that the world-famous Carlos (who every fanatic wanted to meet) easily seduced at a restaurant in California.
After she took her own life, the police determined it was just a tragic case involving a girl named Dolly Parton... a girl with a rough background and parents, a messed-up childhood, who was naive and way too young to fall into Castaneda's web of lies.
Can you even believe that!?

The film basically rips the mask off Carlos's face and gives SilentWarrior a chance to clear up any doubts about whether there's any hypocrisy involved by just accepting what's shown.

It also paints a true picture of the man that so many people base their entire belief systems on.

And the worst part? People who are blinded by this stuff actually try to lecture others on "what's right and what's wrong."

I know I might be coming off a bit harsh, but sometimes you just have to slam your fist on the table and give someone a reality check.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCqYr...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrB5...feature=relmfu

ps.
I absolutely cannot stand transparent propaganda and two-faced behavior.

To start things off,
the church itself has a centuries-old habit of hijacking the very spiritual values they claim to represent—values they often fail to actually understand! However, the winds are shifting today, favoring the creation of new ways of thinking where fresh, natural values can emerge—which, let's be honest, is just the natural longing of the human spirit. This stands in stark contrast to those artificial, processed constructs of distorted and made-up values that have been shaped solely to serve specific interests throughout history, usually at the expense of the common person who was told they somehow deserved their poverty and suffering.

...on this thread, your posts just radiate destructive rage... it sounds like the wounded negativity of an ego!

Shouldn't the fundamental value of Christianity be love—the spreading of love...? Where are these "Christian values" actually being put into practice?? How can something universal (God, Christ, Love...) be institutionalized and claimed as the private property of a specific group? In what era of history did Christianity actually live out those values???

Why has Christianity opted for intolerance, hypocrisy, labeling, and mocking those who disagree...? Why do representatives of Christianity get so offended when they receive constructive criticism? Where did the tolerance go—if it ever even existed regarding the original message?

The answer to this and many similar questions is simple and can be summed up in just a few words! Christianity, along with most other religions (new, old, small, large, whatever...), is in constant conflict with one another and the rest of the world through all sorts of sneaky tactics. It's for an obvious reason: throughout their entire existence, they haven't been able to rise above their animalistic (lower) nature—that exaggerated, selfish consciousness and the temperament of a tiny ego. By definition, that is an immature consciousness: the ego of puffed-up leaders driving a massive number of unconscious individuals, modeling their lives however they please.

For instance, here is something from the well-known arsenal of the "holy" high officials (to use their favorite repetitive phrasing): "God loves you more than the birds of the air and other non-human creatures, and since He takes care of them by providing food without worry, you shouldn't worry about what you will eat either..."
Who, exactly, is God supposed to love more or less? Who does He prefer? And whose creatures are these birds if they aren't God's? Which God is categorizing creatures by value, if not a human, judgmental mind!

Anyone—even someone blind—can see there's no real benefit to this (it's mostly just harmful). Masses of people are being misled by twisted interpretations, their minds are being manipulated, and they're practicing an emotional relationship with God... prayer becomes more like begging God for some senseless personal gain rather than seeking progress or awakening one's inner values (potential)......

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

The absolute key here is freedom—true, inner freedom. You have to decide whether you want to live life to its fullest or just play it safe and surrender to that rusty, societal stagnation. It doesn't matter if it's through education, religion, politics, or some "scientific" standard—everyone seems obsessed with chasing external objects they think will bring happiness, when those things are actually just endless cycles of social dependency and ego-driven slavery!
You're young, and you're still consciously noticing the things that might threaten your autonomy. It isn't really about whether you decide to get married or have children or not—it's about nurturing that sense of internal liberty. Someone who truly loves you won't try to set conditions on what you should or shouldn't do! In the end, they'll leave the choice up to you—which is actually a sign of genuine respect, don't you think?

Before they move in on you, your own mind might start playing tricks on you with all sorts of nonsense—basically, fear. They'll use it as an argument, asking, "Wouldn't it be better if you did this?" because let's face it: it's much easier to control people when you tap into that built-in fear of uncertainty!

Carol Kelly2 said:Since that moment, I have felt completely adrift. It feels as though almost every desire I once held has simply evaporated. I find myself caught in a void where I lack the will to live, yet I possess no drive to die. A profound passivity has taken hold of my entire existence; I can go days without eating, and my interactions with other people have dwindled to nearly nothing. My father was always a man of intense aggression, and my mother—who used to be quite passive and prone to depression—has eventually become much like him. While I went through various phases of anger and fear for a while, I have now drifted back to the state I’ve inhabited most of my life, only now this apathy feels more extreme than ever before.
One of the few remaining flickers of desire is the reason I am writing this, though I am at a loss as to how to escape this current state. It deeply worries me that even this small hope for recovery might soon vanish, and who knows how long it might take to resurface again. There is also this lingering realization that when I do feel a spark, my only fantasy is to be someone entirely different from who I am, or perhaps to write something like this. A large part of me suspects that even this effort is ultimately in vain.

You didn't mention what you actually do during the day (if you do anything at all). Have you maybe sustained any head injuries? And how’s your sleep lately?
But hey,
before you can tackle that state you described, you really have to accept where you are and decide to grab the reins—to start steering your life in a different direction, rather than letting this situation "drive" you.
I truly believe it's possible! Now, is it easy? Not at first—not by a long shot—but over time, even small changes can start looking pretty promising!
At the end of the day, nobody can force you into productive activities except yourself.
So, to get started, you essentially have to become your own "drill sergeant," if you will.

It sounds to me like you're running low on fuel because of some kind of internal blockage or an energy leak somewhere in your system—or perhaps someone else is draining your battery. You know, that kind of thing where someone "feeds" off your energy to function better themselves, even if no one realizes it's happening.
Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes: I’d make a mental commitment to help myself through sheer discipline and consistency. Of course, medical help isn't off the table—it's actually highly recommended, though you should be careful because we all know doctors don't always prescribe the best treatments!

We all tend to accumulate this stagnant, harmful energy, and you need to "burn" it off. Try getting some physical exercise—start slow, at your own pace, and create your own program. Just don't overdo it, or you'll end up feeling worse instead of better! You shouldn't push past about 50% to 70% of your maximum capacity. Ideally, exercises should feel comfortable—like stretching or light muscle engagement—just pushing to a point of comfort. Focus your attention entirely on your body and how it reacts; stay mentally engaged in the movement, because the results are incomparably better when you do! You could also try taking gentle walks, joining a local club if you have the time, or picking up tasks that actually seem interesting to you—without forcing yourself into obligations you don't care about.
Besides burning off energy, staying active helps you get more oxygen into your system—something most of us struggle with, and a lack of oxygen can actually trigger all sorts of physical and mental health issues.
Because, honestly, what might be happening is that your cells have lost that vital, natural rhythm they need to keep a healthy body functioning, simply because of long-standing habits or routines.

Try cutting back on the soda—especially the ice-cold stuff—and just ditch those other bad habits bit by bit. It’s all about the small shifts! I’m talking about cleaning up your diet and maybe aiming to hit the hay around 10 PM.

Here's the most important part, though: don't you dare give up, no matter how impossible things might feel right now. There is always a way out! It really just comes down to our mindset—how much power we decide to give to the things that are trying to tear us down. If we stop letting them win, they lose their grip.
Let's be real, isn't it true that almost everyone goes through some kind of major life drama or hits a rough patch? Especially nowadays, it feels like it's happening to everyone.

👍

We aren't actually making any real progress if we only nurture certain parts of our personality while letting everything else just... slide into decay...
In these situations, we’re basically "missing the mark"—mostly because we’re ignoring the physical side of things. It’s like we get stuck in this endless, unconscious loop of mental chatter—searching for answers without ever taking a single concrete step—which ends up creating this massive imbalance in our mind-body connection and how we interact with the world around us.

For instance,
if someone has a sluggish or inactive body, they really need to push themselves toward movement within their current limits (especially those who are super mentally active!)—rather than falling into the trap of saying, "Oh, I'll start tomorrow," or next week, or next month, or next decade... or next lifetime!

On the flip side, someone with an overactive mind (like Jeffrey Booth51) shouldn't be looking for exercises to stimulate the brain... quite the opposite! They need routines designed to calm things down and quiet the mental noise... essentially finding ways to reach a state of true relaxation.

Now, I’d definitely suggest that
a qualified professional—someone with a clinical diagnosis or specialized training—is the one to go to for recommending a targeted program involving physical exercise, meditation, diet, massage, self-massage, and so on.

Just to be clear: I’m not trying to lecture anyone or tell you what to do (heaven forbid!), but rather just offering a little reminder or pointing out something useful that most of you here probably already know—either through experience or just pure intuition.

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Sam Hayes said:@nimblewolf11, those are some genuinely solid pieces of advice right there 👍—honestly, I’d probably suggest the exact same thing to her...
Back when I was actually sticking to a lifestyle like that, I felt incredible—but more importantly, I felt centered, you know? Just had such a clear, calm head on my shoulders. I'm really trying my best to get back on that right track 🙂

Just stay persistent and keep moving forward!

Jeffrey Booth51 said:I honestly don't even know where to begin...
My mind is processing so many different threads all at once—as it usually does—and it feels like I’m completely falling apart just trying to articulate what’s actually going on inside my head.
And yet, that inner sense of logic always manages to step in and take control during those critical moments... and it’s just a constant cycle. From the outside, my life looks utterly mundane, but internally, it’s been twenty-eight years of wandering through the cosmos.
I suppose all of this has just felt like life—those inevitable ups and downs—up until now... but as the years tick by, I find I have fewer and fewer excuses left to lean on.
I won't spend too much breath dwelling on my childhood, the wars, moving from one US city to another, then back again, then leaving again, then returning... I suppose I just have a penchant for circles.🙂
Anyway, I just wanted to give you all some insight into my situation; I'll try to present things as coherently as possible, both how they look outwardly and how they feel inwardly.
This isn't a plea for advice on how to get my act together or build a life; rather, I would love to hear your thoughts on how to strike a balance between the spiritual and the material.
Up to this point, my life has functioned roughly like this: whenever I was more grounded in my physical body and its immediate needs, everything became explosive—intense highs and lows, all very fleeting. And every material action seemed to pull me toward something deeper.
On top of all that, when I was younger, guilt and remorse were just constant companions in everything I did.
Then came a period where I was more focused on the spiritual side of things. I was raised Christian, but due to some poor personal experiences and a lack of clear answers, I found myself gravitating more toward Eastern philosophies. Eventually, that led to some positive shifts; I became mindful of what I ate and what I no longer wanted to consume, I understood many situations and my own past mistakes better, and that heavy weight of guilt began to lift... things were going okay. That is, until people and human relationships started interfering with my spiritual progress... I simply took what I had learned and walked away. I am sensitive, I know that... and it is difficult for me to accept that my role models and my sources of inspiration can falter so spectacularly. I understand that people in religious circles are just humans, after all, and everyone is trying their best while stumbling along... but perhaps my karma is just that messed up, or maybe I am just far too sensitive to process all of this in such a short span of time.
Anyway, after that period of distancing myself from both worlds, I ended up alone, living in an old, run-down house where I grew up, with my family scattered across the US and the rest of the world... but I actually felt good. During the day, I’d go out with friends, and in the evening, I could barely wait to retreat to my little room without any technology just to read books.
It didn't last long, though, because I met this guy. It wasn't planned; it just happened. He was somewhere in the middle ground, and it worked for me. After a while, we started living together and everything was wonderful. He was truly kind to me, and I tried harder than I ever had before to make it work. He was different from my previous partners, however, because he had one specific issue I had never encountered before. He couldn't let go in an intimate relationship. At first, I didn't realize how deep the problem went... but after about a year, we realized it was a massive issue and that things were only getting worse... I felt rejected in a way, though I kept trying and trying not to take it personally. Essentially, there was no real sexual life, just occasional hints of it. After a year and a half, we broke up, and I went to stay with my family for a few days. I wanted to make him realize that regardless of his fear or shame, he had to start taking decisive steps. Perhaps he was just terrified of losing me, because he said something to me that hurt more than anything else he'd ever said; he told me that he had been taking care of himself alone for the last year because he was afraid he wouldn't be capable (even though we had talked a hundred times about how that wouldn't work, emphasizing that if anything happened, we would just be honest). It was important to me that he didn't do that alone, as that was part of the problem itself.
I was so deeply hurt—he had lied to me for a whole year... I can understand why I didn't absolutely tear him to shreds for it... but my trust was shattered... it wounded my very soul.
Still, I gave him another chance; we didn't want to give up... for a few more months, I poured out my last remaining drops of strength to be his support, and then I finally snapped.
I got the impression that he had taken steps to fix things, like "we'll resolve this," but in reality, it was always "when it happens, it happens, as long as I'm here and he's not alone." It started to feel incredibly selfish, like I was living a lie.
He actually has this deep-seated issue stemming from his early years—stuff with his parents and girls... and he used to have such a terrible view of himself, which he tried to fix once he landed a job, hit the gym, even got braces... he started trying to manage his emotions because he honestly had no clue how to deal with them. He just felt like all he needed was a good woman to marry so he could finally claim to have a perfect life. But what he doesn't realize is that he’s building everything on a facade; deep down, he's completely incapable of handling pain or the idea of someone leaving him or rejecting him.
I started seeing all of this, and in that moment, I felt somewhat like a victim simply because I had become aware of the reality of the situation.
Anyway, I cleared out... I've been staying with my folks for a week now, out in some small town outside of a major city. I don't have a job... I have nowhere else to go...
I feel a bit numb from it all, just trying to scrape by financially because I have to, but while I'm doing that, I'm searching for solace and answers in spiritual things, and my energy is just draining away like crazy... I'm just spinning my wheels.
It’s not that I’m incapable of taking action... it’s just that every single time I’ve tried to change things in my life, it always leads back to this exact same point. And here I am. Now, it feels almost reflexive, like I'm forced to believe things will work themselves out in a way where I'm constantly stuck extracting some "life lesson" instead of actually living my life.
I don't know what to think, what to do, or what I should even turn toward...
I don't feel like a victim, I'm not crying, I'm accepting what's happening, and I want to be happy and grow as a person...
But I need help... I want to start something this time that will actually make me happy... I want to know that I'm not just going in circles again...
I know I'm being overly dramatic... and I see it all clearly.
I haven't spoken to anyone about anything for days. I simply don't want to be part of that social circle in the environment I'm currently in.
There. Whatever the outcome ends up being... that was on my mind and that's what I said.
I wish you all a lot of happiness and strength in your search, whatever that may be 🙂

It sounds like you're under this constant pressure—feeling like you always have to take urgent action, change something, or *do* something right now.
To me, it seems like you've "departed" from your physical self into a purely mental state (way too much!)—it's almost as if you've lost your connection to the ground (you aren't grounded).
Try being more spontaneous! Get outdoors, get your hands in the dirt, or just experience the smell of the earth... maybe find some exercises that fit—like yoga or pranayama (there's tons of stuff online for that).... stay active physically, but don't force it, and don't overdo anything. Don't just practice every single thing you hear, see, or read... pay attention to how your body reacts to different movements—notice what your body is asking for, but do it WITHOUT the obsession. Also, choose foods that soothe and help integrate your mind and body.

If you're spending a lot of time watching TV or sitting at the computer, definitely cut that back—maybe even scale back on the reading too. It would be great to aim for getting to sleep around 9:30 or 10:00 PM.
Set boundaries in your relationships, whatever kind they may be. Define your personal space, and let others know that it needs to be respected... try to balance out that empathy.

And as for crying—keep it moderate; try not to let it turn into constant weeping.

Don't stress about your age. What would you say if you were 51 and felt like so much was still left unachieved?

Once again: don't force it, and don't overdo anything.

All the best!

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Terry Garcia3 said:Wow, thanks for the heads up! 🙂 You can actually find those delta and alpha meditations over on the indigo world site 🙂—the music is seriously soothing. 🙂
But wait, what do you mean when you say "I DON'T RECOMMEND IT WITHOUT A GENTLEMAN???"

Could you drop a link or maybe a few of them?