Posts by slypuma17

mistymarlin6 said:Man, I'm glad it's not just me. There is a genuine sense of embarrassment whenever I hear my own voice in a recording. It honestly doesn't even sound human to me. Though, apparently, others tell me I sound perfectly fine.

It’s a universal experience.
I was under the impression that I alone possessed the most ridiculous voice in existence. 😢

Charles Cooper2 said:There is zero point in chiming in if you didn't even read the post. What's the goal there? 🙄
Nowhere in the text does it say SHE claimed he wasn't good enough for her. Get it together.

Whoops, looks like I swapped one user's post for yours by mistake. 😵

Honestly, I think we're just wasting our breath and our energy here. It's rarely worth the effort, even if things actually work out—and that’s a big "if."
People are who they are; you either take them as they come or you don't.

Whatever she decides, I hope it works out for her. 🙂

Charles Cooper2 said:You’re totally missing the point here. There’s zero sense in overanalyzing every single little detail until you've basically dissected it to death—you just end up losing the actual meaning in the process. Just look at the heart of the problem for once.

You think so?
The girl even admitted she thinks she deserves better, yet here she is, doubling down on trying to "fix" this guy, acting as if he's the center of the universe.
It's as if, if he changes his mind, it counts as her personal victory.

But let's be realistic: that's almost impossible to pull off. Whether he actually means it, whether he’s just saying it to push her away, or—more likely—he’s realized he can play her by pretending to change just to keep her hooked, she’s stuck. No matter his motive, she isn't going to sway him.

So many women find themselves drawn to someone they feel they can mold into their ideal version.
Those who actually succeed are incredibly rare exceptions; honestly, she shouldn't even bother counting herself among them.
And even when they do manage to change them, they often lose interest immediately.
Once there's nothing left to "fix," the game is over. For these women, the act of changing someone is the only way they feel validated—it's their "proof" that the other person actually cares.
They have an issue. A significant one.

If you really want to help her, suggest she finds someone she doesn't have to constantly "convince to see things differently." Then we'll see what she has to say about that.
Didn't she say herself that she deserves better?

Charles Cooper2 said:Do guys actually get stuck in their own heads and genuinely believe they aren't good enough for a girl? I have this friend dealing with a guy who’s basically had a total mental breakdown, and now he’s constantly acting like some kind of loser who doesn't deserve her. It’s not even a "it's not you, it's me" breakup situation because he’s still leaving the door wide open—he just won't stop preaching about how she deserves someone way better because she's so smart and amazing and whatever. She's head over heels for him and can't wrap her head around why he's being so incredibly insecure. She’s told him a million times that she loves him exactly as he is and doesn't want anyone else, but he's just obsessed with this idea that he's a failure because everything in his life is hitting the fan right now. What do you guys think about this mindset? Is there any way she can get him to snap out of it? I’ve never dealt with anything like this, so I’m totally lost on what to tell her.

Honestly, the mere impulse to try and bend someone else's will to match your own suggests some pretty deep-seated issues with the person doing the forcing.☕

northernangler17 said:Well, you can't understand them because you just don't have that specific mental wiring. I guess the main thing to realize is how the way we were raised—how we basically soaked everything up like sponges as kids—shapes our entire lives, our worldview, how we act, and how we handle relationships, both with others and ourselves. See, the point is that sexuality, ESPECIALLY sexual orientation factor, was always kept hidden from kids... children never even got the chance to see two people of the same gender being affectionate or kissing or whatever. Because kids RECOGNIZE love and they FEEL it. So, if you show a kid who hasn't been conditioned yet two men or two women kissing and loving each other, it would just be INTERESTING to them, not weird. It would be new—just like everything else they see in this world—because kids learn through conditioning. It’s the same deal with most people growing up in families where homosexuality is treated as a "taboo," and when it is mentioned, it's always in a negative light. It isn't just about the family, though—it's about the whole world (which, obviously, exists because every single person is RAISED in a certain way—paradoxical, I know, but you can't have one without the other) and the general "vibe" out there. And the vibe is such that people automatically DISMISS anything that is "generally accepted" as unnatural and gross. PERIOD. People, because it's UNKNOWN and STRANGE to them, automatically start fearing it and want to push "that" away—mostly because they are terrified for their own sense of "normalcy." They're so scared of being unloved by anyone that they reflexively shove things into the "normal" box just because they think it guarantees acceptance. And then what happens? People refuse to THINK. They refuse to allow themselves EMPATHY. They refuse to ask, "Wait a second, isn't this just falling in love? Aren't they just... people? How would I feel in their shoes?" Like, if I fell for someone of the same sex against my will, those feelings would feel NATURAL (!). So isn't it actually unnatural to go against your own nature? It's just that the whole concept of homosexuality is so controversial to them that they don't even bother thinking deeper about it. If they did, they'd reach this incredible, yet incredibly BARELY-NOTICED realization: "Wait, what's actually so weird about this?" Because seriously, I mean it: what is actually so weird?

Look, my own folks didn't exactly sing praises about it either. But after sitting with the thought for a while, I asked myself: why bother harboring this resentment? If someone were to offer me one single, legitimate reason to feel antipathy toward them, I’d listen. But I haven't found one.

Is a gay man going to assault me? No. Is a lesbian going to steal my boyfriend or my husband? Not happening.
Are they going to somehow "strip away" my heterosexuality? No.
So why on earth would I live in fear or carry hatred in my heart? 😕

Is simple arithmetic really that difficult?
Honestly, I find it baffling that some people struggle to connect these dots. This isn't rocket science; it’s just basic, elementary logic.

I suspect others who don't harbor hate have reached this same conclusion. It seems quite rare to find people whose parents didn't already instill a sense of tolerance in them, especially since the whole movement of social emancipation is such a relatively recent phenomenon in American history.
And yet, even starting from the same baseline, some people arrive at this realization while others stay stuck.
Lately, I've begun to suspect it might simply be a matter of intelligence. 🤷

Andrew Sanchez572 said:Quote : Articles of Faith

Well, you have to realize that in certain major American metropolises, marriage equality is a reality, and there are plenty of dedicated clubs or even just neighborhoods that are incredibly gay-friendly. You can walk down the street in places like Berlin or Amsterdam and kiss your partner without anyone giving you a second glance... It’s certainly not like it is everywhere else in the country.

Quote : Articles of Faith

Then that would just be called a troll.

But let’s be realistic: not the entirety of Berlin is a stroll through hand-holding bliss, especially once you step outside those specific bubbles. Sure, maybe on Kurfürstendamm, but just a few miles further out? Not a chance. The same logic applies to Paris, or any other major metropolitan hub.
Tolerance is something we are still moving toward, not something we have already conquered, despite what some people might claim.

As for the homophobes—without getting too specific because I honestly can't fathom their headspace—they could really stand to use a bit of common sense.

How can anyone harbor hatred for people who pose absolutely zero competition to them?
These men should actually be feeling quite satisfied that more women will be available to them, given that "those types" aren't interested in competing for that same pool. 🤷
There is also zero risk of a wife leaving them for a man like that, or catching them in bed with her.
Yet, they seem even more tolerant toward lesbians, even though those are women who, theoretically, would be available to them! 😵

I simply cannot wrap my head around these people, no matter how hard I try. I can almost follow the twisted internal logic of fascists, but this... this is just baffling.
🤷

Andrew Sanchez572 said:🙄
The most important thing is that here in America, people of all sexual orientations can walk around openly, embracing one another without fear...

As if that were exclusive to us? 😁
It isn’t like that everywhere. Even in the most "liberal" American metropolises, the freedom to publicly display one's preferences is often confined to specific ghettoized districts within those cities—or perhaps just that little area we call "downtown," where there's usually enough police presence, surveillance cameras, and general protection to keep things contained. And that's about it.
Step outside those boundaries, and you're acting at your own risk, facing potentially dire consequences.

Still, I get the impression that lesbians tend to navigate society a bit more easily than gay men do; it seems like people look the other way much more frequently when it comes to them.

Why is it that homophobes practice this kind of discrimination? 🤷

Whether someone actually helped or just got in the way...
those are far too heavy words to use so lightly.

Ronald Rogers27 said:What exactly do you mean by the weight factor?

Let me try rephrasing my survey to be clearer: do you feel the same way about female versus male sexual orientation, or do you view those two things differently? 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Well, if that was the goal, why didn't you just ask it that way? 🤣
This whole "weighting factor" business just adds unnecessary baggage to the conversation.

Because, frankly, there are some of us here who don't see any particular weight or tragedy in the matter at all.

Roger Morgan4 said:I don't think I'm quite ready to dive deep into this just yet, so a session with my therapist isn't exactly on the immediate horizon.

There are certainly certain things in my past that have shaped how I view intimacy, though most of those influences surfaced much later in life—which might explain my current perspective. Still, it feels strange to me; looking back, I can't quite wrap my head around why I felt such intense discomfort and shame at such a young age. That’s really the heart of why I decided to bring this up in the first place.

Well.
In the absence of someone actually listening, try processing it internally—almost as if you were having a conversation with a confidant. Ask yourself those questions out loud, or perhaps write them down, much like you’d draft a letter to a trusted friend. It might help you verbalize those feelings you've been carrying around.

A therapist would certainly be your best resource when the time comes, but they aren't going anywhere; they'll still be there whenever you decide to make that appointment.

But really, wouldn't you prefer to be free of this burden as soon as possible?
The way I see it, this doesn't feel like a conscious choice. It's one thing to choose to wear long sleeves in the middle of a July heatwave because of some specific reason or a personal vow, but that would be an intentional decision. From what you've described, this feels more like something being forced upon you—not that you lack the ability to wear short sleeves, but that you simply can't. Isn't that right?

but to me, it feels strange that I felt such discomfort and shame even when I was so young. That's really the whole reason I started this thread.

Children don't process reality the same way adults do; they often draw incorrect conclusions because they lack the context to understand what's happening. If those experiences aren't processed by the time you reach adulthood, they can manifest as significant issues later on. What triggered this might have been a secondary event, or perhaps something you've suppressed or forgotten entirely.
You need to find a way to put words to it, to become aware of it, to remember.
And honestly, that isn't easy. In fact, it's incredibly difficult. Sometimes it takes years of work. There's a reason therapists exist.

Think back to your parents—how were you raised, and what was their general attitude toward body image and sexuality?
edit: I just noticed you mentioned your mother and sister didn't deal with these issues, so I'm assuming it wasn't necessarily due to a strictly puritanical upbringing.

Roger Morgan4 said:To address the age question: I'm 22. As for thinking about sex—frankly, I don't, nor do I particularly want to. I might have a passing curiosity here and there, but generally, the whole idea feels rather off-putting to me. Regarding my social life, I don't really go out. And when it comes to my wardrobe, the most daring thing I might do is wear a neckline that's slightly deeper than usual; skirts or sleeveless tops just aren't really my style.

Have you actually "seen" anyone?
In other words, have you ever brought this up in a session with a therapist?

The guy had been struggling with this for years before we even met.
Even now, he talks about it with a certain level of apprehension, describing it as one of the darkest chapters of his life.
He underwent extensive treatment, specifically phototherapy involving specialized light lamps. He’d head into the clinic twice a week for hour-long sessions.
On top of that, he was on a regimen of prescription medications, and staying active through swimming really seemed to make a difference.

If you haven't already, I’d suggest looking into professional treatment options as soon as possible.
And try not to let things get under your skin too much—stress plays a massive role in all of this. Best of luck!

And just how many bottles do you actually have open right now?

If we're talking about a single bottle—and specifically a George Washington at that—was it really worth starting an entire thread over? 😕

On my primary account? Hardly ever. As for my backups, I rarely even bother counting. Honestly, at this point, it’s just more efficient to spin up a fresh email address than to waste my life scrubbing through junk mail.

With the main one, the second I spot a forwarded message, it’s gone. Deleted immediately.
I am their worst nightmare. 😁

George Hill13 said:The police gave me a call today; they had all my paperwork ready 👋
Some guy—living quite a distance from where I originally dropped everything—found the whole stack of documents. My wallet was nowhere to be seen, though. 🙏 🙏
It looks like they didn't actually crack my wallet open after all. 😁
So, yeah, I guess I’ll take back those harsh things I said earlier. 🙂

Well, look at that...😁

Dana Morales64 said:This has been an issue for as long as I can remember—I’ve always been a social creature, someone who thrives in a crowd. When I'm out with people, everything feels effortless; time flies, there's no boredom, and life just seems manageable. But the second I walk through my front door, I’m lost. I’ll step into my room, and within two minutes, the restlessness kicks in. If the house is quiet, it’s even worse—this wave of paranoia and anxiety just hits me out of nowhere. If I go a few days without seeing anyone, things start getting weird; I feel like I'm losing my grip, I get hit with this intense fear when I'm out walking, sweating, constantly looking over my shoulder, terrified that I’m eventually going to end up completely alone. Then, I hang out with friends and suddenly everything is fine again. It’s like I have these social batteries that drain incredibly fast—if I don't "recharge" by being around people every couple of days, I hit some kind of internal social crisis. It’s possible I’m more attached to certain people than I let on, even though I’m never clingy or overbearing in a group setting. As far as actual life decisions go, though, I’m fine—I can handle pressure and I usually know exactly what the right move is.
The core of it, though, is purely social—this constant, nagging fear that I’ll end up isolated, even if there isn't a logical reason to feel that way since I have plenty of friends and a solid support system.
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of cycle, and if so, how did you manage it?

It strikes me that you aren't actually afraid of being alone; you're afraid of what happens when you finally have to face yourself without any distractions.
Looking back at your other posts, it seems to me that this solitude is precisely what you need—to sit quietly, process things, and actually come to terms with your own desires and needs.
You have to clear the mental clutter first. And let me tell you, that is no small feat.

If I go a few days without seeing anyone, I start feeling disconnected from reality. I get this intense anxiety just walking down a street in Chicago; I start sweating, looking over my shoulder, constantly spiraling into thoughts about how I'll end up completely isolated.

For me, personally, it’s impossible to get through a day without spending at least thirty minutes entirely by myself. Often it's much longer than that; sometimes it's a necessity. If a few days pass without my regular dose of solitude, I start feeling physically unwell.
I never pass up an opportunity to be alone, even if it means turning down a social invitation.
And honestly, I still find myself wondering how I haven't bored you to death yet, and how much more there is left for me to discover about my own mind. 😁

Ronald Rogers27 said:Look, I know the idea isn't bad, but I haven't really thought through the execution. It seems like a lot of you are hung up on the logistics. Most people seem to be on board with the concept, at least from what I can tell. 👍

I honestly have no clue how this works from a practical standpoint. At the end of the day, it all comes down to money. Whoever figures out a way to monetize this method is going to build the best version of it. The Catch-22 is that getting online wouldn't actually get any cheaper, so the Internet wouldn't become this thing accessible to everyone struggling to make ends meet. 🤷

(The Internet is basically a modern virtual Colosseum where mental gladiators clash... "Bread and Arcade games") 😬

Ronald Rogers27

I’m sorry, but you’re being a total fascist. 😁
If I had my way, we’d just cut off internet access to the lower class via an expedited administrative process.

Wicked, truly wicked, John Doe. 🙂

Ronald Rogers27 said:After everything I’ve seen and dealt with online lately, I’ve started asking myself one big, fundamental question: should the internet be wide open to everyone, or should people have to pass some kind of psychological sanity check—maybe even a formal exam on digital etiquette—to earn what we could call an "internet permit" or a license to go online?

Think of it like getting a driver's license. Sure, anyone can walk out and buy a car or a high-end PC, but that doesn't mean they should be behind the wheel without knowing what they're doing. Not everyone gets to drive just because they own a vehicle. I'm just using that as an analogy to make my point.

Basically, if you want to get connected, you'd have to prove you passed the test and show that your "license" hasn't been suspended due to too many violations. 👍

What do you guys think? 🤷

A fundamental, systemic question indeed. 🤣 Careful now!

So, essentially, anyone seeking to connect would have to prove they've passed this evaluation and ensure their credentials haven't been revoked due to accumulated infractions. 👍

What are your thoughts? 🤷

It’s an interesting concept, certainly, but how on earth would one actually implement that in the real world? 🤷

Charles Thompson16 said:I honestly struggle so much to translate my thoughts into actual words... I find myself getting drawn into these debates all the time, and while I feel like I have all the necessary arguments lined up, everything feels so incredibly layered and complex that I just can't seem to boil it down into simple terms for everyone else to grasp...🤷
That’s why, for quite some time now, I’ve mostly been participating in these discussions from the sidelines—essentially just sitting here getting increasingly frustrated because I watch people spout nonsense or argue points they’re clearly wrong about, yet I can't seem to steer them toward the actual reality of the situation, whatever the topic may be. Now, I’ll admit, I did briefly wonder if perhaps my vocabulary was just too limited 🤣, but that isn't really the issue at hand. It’s more that whatever I’m thinking about or taking a stand on is just so nuanced and complicated to explain to others. I don't consider myself some profound philosopher by any means, but I do feel like I'm right far more often than I can actually demonstrate, simply because... my thoughts always seem to outrun my ability to put them into words. ☕

It's because you're getting worked up. That frustration is what's blocking you. Try approaching it without letting the irritation take over.

Donna Sullivan7 said:-Look, I didn't say they were just copying prescriptions, I just happened to stumble upon how they handle certain therapies... you know, the whole "you don't really need them" or "it's all about willpower" angle... plus all that talk about how those specific meds are actually harmful for things like schizophrenia or psychosis, and how nobody ever truly gets better by using them... stuff like that...

Unfortunately, I know exactly the kind of crowd you're talking about. 🙄

Shouldn't posts like these be sent over to the alternative? 🤷