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Posts by loneowl39

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When does "fixing" something become a crime? in Criminal and Misdemeanor Law ·
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fine line between intent and outcome, especially when it comes to public property and the legal system. It’s one of those philosophical rabbit holes that seems simple on the surface but gets incredibly messy the moment you actually apply it to real-world scenarios.

We’ve all seen those videos of people trying to "help" or doing something impulsive that ends up causing a headache for the authorities. But there’s a specific kind of frustration that hits when the legal system focuses entirely on the *act* itself, rather than the actual *damage* caused. It feels like we’re moving toward a world where the "intent to interfere" is being punished more heavily than the actual physical impact on the world.

I was reading a thread the other day about urban maintenance, and it got me thinking about how much of our "vandalism" or "destruction" is actually just an acceleration of inevitable decay. We have these massive, beautiful, iconic monuments and public spaces that we treat like they’re frozen in time. We expect them to stay pristine forever. But everything decays. Concrete cracks, liners degrade, stone weathers. Then, someone comes along and does something—maybe something reckless, maybe something misguided—and suddenly the focus isn't on the fact that the structure was already failing, but on the person who provided the "final straw."

In my own life, I’ve seen this play out in smaller ways. I used to work a bit of landscaping for a local park, and there was this one instance where a kid tried to "clean" a fountain by scrubbing it with something he thought was soap, but it actually stripped the sealant. The city went ballistic. They treated it like a major felony because of the "desecration" aspect, even though the fountain was already leaking like a sieve and would have needed that sealant replaced within the month anyway. The cost to the city didn't change, but the legal headache for the kid was massive. It felt like the punishment was disconnected from the reality of the situation.

It makes me wonder about the "irregularities" we often hear about in high-profile cases. When the process of deciding someone's guilt feels more about securing a conviction for a specific *type* of behavior rather than weighing the actual physical consequences, does justice actually serve the community? Or is it just a way to assert dominance over the idea of "order"?

If a piece of infrastructure is already broken, does the person who breaks it further deserve the same hammer of the law as someone who destroys something perfectly intact? It feels like we are losing the nuance of "actual harm." If the harm was already going to happen, is the person just a convenient scapegoat for a much larger, more expensive problem of systemic neglect?

I’m curious to hear what you all think about this. Does the legal system have a responsibility to look at the "pre-existing condition" of what was damaged, or is the act of interference itself enough to justify a heavy hand? Should we be punishing the *behavior* or the *result*?
ruggedfalcon30 said:I’ve been in love exactly twice in my entire life, and wouldn't you know it, I managed to commit Samosabotage on both occasions. The first time was pure instinct—I actually pushed her away physically when she tried to touch me or lean in for a kiss. With the second one, things were even more pathetic; I acted like an absolute jerk just to create distance, successfully driving her away, and now I’m left sitting here dealing with the fallout and the regret.
It's not just the big relationships, either; I keep doing this same dance with random women I meet along the way. Take this girl I met recently, for instance... I actually liked her. We didn't see or talk to each other for a while, but then we ran into each other out in the world, and she was practically throwing herself at me. Instead of stepping up, I just turned my back and walked away like a coward. Of course, she ended up screaming insults at me after I left.😬
What the hell is actually wrong with us Samosabotage types?

A) An inability to recognize an opportunity when it presents itself.
B) Psychological inhibition.
C) Pure cowardice.
D) Negative projections.
Walter Peterson said:I experience this as well. I've begun to suspect that a significant portion of the problem lies within me. Those unfortunate criteria again...

We all carry a mental blueprint of an "ideal" partner (with specific criteria), and when we encounter someone who fits that mold, the chemistry hits and we fall in love. Therefore, the key is to shift those internal criteria if we want to fall for a different type of person—especially since the previous ones haven't exactly yielded much luck.

Don't sweat it; I'm sure time will magically fix your standards for you.😂(dry, sarcastic laugh)
Walter Peterson said:To put it bluntly: it gets worse. Men are completely delusional. Women at least have what you call a skewed perception of themselves, leading them to think they deserve what they want. Men are just 👎

It doesn't really matter how anyone perceives themselves—whether objective or subjective—if they are chasing something that is fundamentally unattainable.

Trying to pin down "truth" is a fool's errand.
Men aren't necessarily delusional; they just operate on a "low-effort, high-reward" system. If they can get away with it, they will—especially if they hold the power in the relationship.
Being unrealistic and being an opportunist are two different things.
Men are, first and foremost, opportunists.
Walter Peterson said:And men, quite frequently, overrate themselves and hunt exclusively for that supermodel type.

But I don't think there are many women on this thread looking for models; I include myself in that group.😉

Sure, they’re looking for that specific type of person, but let’s be honest—they don't exactly walk around thinking they’re the best-looking people in the room.
It’s funny how that works. You see these women out there chasing after those kinds of results, and they genuinely walk around thinking they’re some kind of supermodel—even when, objectively speaking, they aren't quite there.
I am speaking about one’s own self-perception, not about what someone else happens to be looking for.
Overestimating one's own value—or in this specific instance, it seems—is ultimately a matter of distorted self-perception.
They might look identical on the surface, but don't let that fool you—the difference is massive.
copperfox22 said:I don't know about you all, but models have never really been my type. To be honest, I usually find myself gravitating toward the exact opposite. 🙂

When it comes to my own appearance, I have to admit that I’m way more cutthroat and critical than anyone around me. My friends and family might tell me I look fine, but I’ve always been my own harshest critic. 😬

Mark my words—this is going to end up being a massive headache down the road. 🤣

That seems to be the consensus among individuals, yet anonymous surveys suggest the exact opposite is true.
http://www.webmd.com/article/1554/
Walter Peterson said:The lesson is simple: perform some self-reflection. Identify which of your own mistakes contributed to the breakup so you don't repeat them, then decide what kind of partner you actually want—what you'll tolerate and what you won't.

And finally, the primary realization should be that concepts like "soulmates," "perfect matches," or "unconditional love" are nothing more than romantic fairytales.

They exist, sure. It’s just that they're incredibly rare.😉

copperfox22 said:What do you mean by overrating yourself? I mean, sure, that happens, but once you move past that phase of youthful arrogance, you’d think you’d be more capable of an honest self-assessment during those more mature years. You should be able to see both the strengths and the flaws. At least personally, I’m pretty aware of my own shortcomings 🤷...I try to smooth them over, if nothing else, or maybe even change them for my own sake rather than for anyone else. I don't know.

I tend to view it this way: take a woman who is, by most realistic standards, quite average-looking—which, let’s be honest, is what matters most to men—yet she insists on only dating guys with that runway model physique. If we set aside all other criteria for a moment, you see the disconnect right there.
And then she acts surprised when she can't find a boyfriend.🙄
There are plenty of such instances, honestly, occurring on both sides of the aisle.
I’m inclined to believe that, on average, men tend to be far more objective when assessing their own physical attractiveness than women are.
Walter Peterson said:Bad experiences teach us caution, plain and simple. This behavior you described is your defense mechanism; it serves its purpose, but you have to loosen the grip slightly. You need to be willing to open up if you feel someone is worth it, while still maintaining a healthy level of skepticism. Being cold and guarded at all times leads nowhere. One must demonstrate a willingness to give someone a chance... in my experience, people respond much better when approached with positivity and reasonable expectations. It gives even those who might have been problematic in the past a shot at being better. If they mess up after you've shown them kindness—then you simply move on.

Your mind is acting out of pure fear of disappointment. However, you cannot allow that fear to dictate the entirety of your life. It is far worse to suffer through the anticipation of a potential disaster than to actually deal with the reality if it happens.

Perhaps being attracted to the wrong people is itself a defense mechanism: with them, you are certain from the outset that disappointment is coming. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy...

A significant portion of romantic struggles, for both men and women, boils down to flawed selection criteria. People are naturally drawn to those who are exciting, elusive, and unpredictable... since when was anyone ever truly thrilled by the "nice guy"?🙂

As for me, I refuse to let the weight of the past limit, mark, hinder, or sabotage my future. There is no way it will stand in the way of finding the Right One; I won't permit it.🙂

That might apply to you specifically, but as a broad statement, it’s a massive overgeneralization that just doesn't hold water.
The issue isn't necessarily the criteria themselves; rather, it's about setting the bar too high and having an inflated sense of one's own value.
And for the record, plenty of men find "the nice guys" quite attractive.
Friends, why does nobody ever invite me out? in Psychology ·
Alexander Martinez12 said:I asked my boyfriend to find out since he knows some of those—I don't even know how to describe them—guys who always seem to show up whenever he's hanging out with them.
Apparently, I'm not "one of them," though I have no clue what that means. 🤷 It's not like I'm some billionaire or living in poverty, either.
There's definitely a pattern here. The exact same thing happened back in middle school and again during high school. Unfortunately, it's happening now too. 😢

It’s likely just that you aren't quite the pretentious social climber they want you to be. They probably view themselves as being out of your league, and since you don't play along with their little act, you're essentially ruining their carefully curated image.
In other words, you just don't have that same "cool" factor they do.🙄
Is love really blind? in Psychology ·
In most of these instances, what we’re really seeing is desperation masquerading as blind, uncritical idolization of a specific individual.
Andrew Mendoza10 said:People (most of whom I’ve encountered) who think they have someone completely figured out just by glancing at them—all before a single word has even been exchanged

It's true. I've certainly noticed this tendency shows up quite often with certain women.
In my view, it’s likely just a defense mechanism used to mask their own insecurities.
Gregory Williams7 said:
loneowl39 As specified by:
To claim that a university course is fundamentally flawed simply because the syllabus spans over a thousand pages of material is absurd. Is volume truly an indicator of quality? One must wonder if we are measuring intellectual depth or merely the capacity to endure endless paperwork.🙄👎

You could have a million pages of exam notes and still come up empty. Does it actually matter? I would have to agree with you; unfortunately, most universities here structure their entire curriculum around this exact issue.

Let’s be realistic for a moment. Just look at how many lawyers and economists graduate from universities here every single year. Then, take a hard look at the actual state of our legal and economic systems. The connection should be obvious, shouldn't it?

It is blindingly obvious that you’ve never actually sat through an exam like that; if you had, you wouldn't be peddling such nonsensical nonsense.
The justice system isn't broken because of a lack of knowledge among judges and attorneys; it's broken because of corruption.
ironstag8 said:With this kind of mindset—this desperate thirst to possess things without actually putting in the work—we aren't going anywhere. Sure, we want success, but we’re sprinting in the wrong direction. It might sound cliché, but thanks to all those empty reality shows, celebrity worship, and "influencer" culture, an entire generation has been effectively lobotomized; they genuinely believe they can live a lifestyle of luxury without lifting a finger, much like those bottom-feeders you see chasing clout online. You can see the symptoms everywhere, from high schools to universities. There is absolutely no rush to enroll in technical colleges or trade schools. Instead, everyone's dream is to be a manager, sit in a corner office, drive a luxury car—and they want it all immediately after finishing some quick certificate course or a business degree. They want the cash upfront without the prerequisite of grit, practice, or actual experience. That just isn't how the world works. I suspect that starting next year, we'll see a massive drop in sales for gadgets, smartphones, and all that other junk the younger crowd is addicted to. The reason? Parents are going to see their paychecks shrink significantly—assuming the Federal Government even decides to release funds at all. And since the primary employer in our country tends to be anyone on the public payroll, the fallout is going to be fascinating. I truly wonder how your average American parent is going to afford something like a driver's license $2333? Or field trips?
Looking back at my old alma mater—a maritime academy—there’s no rush to get in. There are plenty of spots available, but let’s be real: you actually have to finish the degree first, and then move out from under your mother's roof to earn a living. That’s just not "in" right now. It's hard to stay cool when you're stuck on a vessel working in grueling conditions. Most kids would rather wait for a windfall to fall from the sky than bother finishing a legitimate degree after already landing a decent-paying job.
With a collective mentality like this, progress is nearly impossible—especially when the ruling political establishment has been the same breed of opportunists for the last two decades, focused solely on how to screw over the public and line their own pockets and those of their cronies.

Calling a university where you have to study 1,000-page exam guides a "liberal arts degree" is just plain moronic.🙄👎
Angela Bailey7 said:silentpilot6, I honestly think you’re just slapping a schizophrenia diagnosis on this girl when she’s probably perfectly healthy and fine. And besides—what about all those other medical issues that can be way more serious than mental health struggles? When you're looking at a woman as potential life partner, shouldn't you first ask for a full medical history of her immediate and extended family to ensure your kids don't inherit some bad genes? Even if you do end up with "bad" genetic material, it doesn't mean a disease will actually manifest.

The real issue here is the prejudice in our society; people act like those with mental illnesses are somehow "lesser." But the truth is, there are probably more people struggling with mental health issues who haven't been officially diagnosed than those who have. And one more thing—how on earth do you think you'll make a "good choice" by picking someone without a diagnosis, only to find out later she was hiding her true nature and turns out to be a malicious, manipulative gold-digger?

According to your logic, people with mental health struggles don't even deserve a partner or to be loved—which is ridiculous, because they likely need support even more than "perfectly healthy" people do. It also seems totally foolish to suggest you should pick a partner based solely on cold logic rather than your heart. My mother always used to say it's better to walk through thorns with the one you love than to build a castle with someone you despise. All this over-analyzing won't do you any good; life is going to happen to you regardless. You think you've mapped everything out, but life always has an unexpected curveball waiting for you. Don't complicate your existence by trying to plan for a future that hasn't happened yet while ignoring the reality of today. And as my mom used to say: if you aim for the rose and miss, you're still gonna hit the dirt...

Spot on. *claps* *claps* *claps*
👍
Feeling Undervalued in Psychology ·
urbanpilot36 said:I’m curious to hear what everyone here thinks about the tendency to underestimate people based on their career paths. I’ve personally experienced certain prejudices from others, seemingly because our professional backgrounds and qualifications don't align. To be honest, it’s never really bothered me, but I suppose it matters quite a bit to them. For instance, my work is more academic in nature—I teach at a university—and I’ve noticed that some people coming from completely different industries tend to treat me with a certain level of condescension, even though I’ve never felt the need to judge them for what they do. If I had to label those attitudes, I guess I’d call them prejudices; people make assumptions about who I am without ever actually getting to know me. For some reason, I just haven't been very well received by certain groups. What do you all think might be the underlying cause of this? 😁

It’s hardly surprising you’re running into that. Let’s be real: working in academia is a far cry from the grind of a major corporation, especially in the private sector.
Struggling with learning? in Psychology ·
rapidranger9 said:I feel like pretty much everyone in college hits this wall at some point. You enroll in something you think you love, and then you get hit with a mountain of useless junk that either has zero connection to your major or just doesn't interest you at all. Honestly, I usually deal with it by trying to trick myself into liking it. I try to hunt for one tiny positive thing in everything I study, and once I do that, the studying kind of starts to happen. You might not feel like doing it initially, but once you sit down and actually dig into the material... things get a little better. You just have to force it, I guess.

My friends and I from the same year are dealing with a different issue—it feels like we've all hit total burnout. We all know why we're here and we all want to graduate... but man, nobody can seem to find the energy (shout out to the outliers, though, because I have no idea where they get their strength). This whole modern credit system has just drained us. It makes me wonder... for those of you who went through the old school curriculum—did you guys go through this too when you hit your senior year? Or was it earlier?

Yes, it did.😢
The current state of the American psyche in Psychology ·
Anthony Cook3 said:It really boils down to the people who run things versus the people being ruled...

We fall firmly into that second category. Personally, I suspect there's a direct link here to genetic engineering and the long-term goal of establishing a New World Order...

We are exactly where they want us to be. Stuck in the mud. That’s precisely where they intend to keep us...

Ultimately, this is a matter of history. And our history was such that things couldn't have been any worse.
Do our own desires actually make us unhappy? in Psychology ·
mistybison said:My one true ambition has always been to secure enough wealth to enjoy life's pleasures without ever having to work for it. While I haven't achieved that goal just yet, I am certain it is never too late to make it happen. 😁 I actually think things are better this way for now. If I were further along, I might lose my drive to improve, and I simply don't have enough experience yet to realize how vital constant growth is for anyone. One should never stop evolving. 🙂 I probably would have turned into a lazy, mindless sea lion by now, spending my days lounging around with absolutely nothing on my mind but boredom. 😁

Compared to this specific ambition, I view all my other desires as mere wishes. Everything I have truly wanted—rather than just thinking was a "good idea"—has eventually come to fruition, one way or another. I believe that when a person genuinely desires something and commits their entire being and energy to it, success becomes inevitable. This is especially true for goals within our own control, such as pursuing higher education, traveling, or career milestones. While life hasn't always unfolded exactly as I planned, looking back, it’s clear that experience has ultimately made me wiser. 🙂

Like everyone else, I occasionally find myself slipping into "what if" scenarios. During these moments, past mistakes can start looking like missed opportunities, or I might feel a twinge of regret over a choice I made. However, I realize this is usually just a byproduct of being in a dissatisfied headspace; I end up romanticizing the past simply because my current situation isn't ideal. In truth, I know I have always made the best decisions possible given the circumstances at the time. Sometimes, I just enjoy the mental exercise of imagining how life might have unfolded—perhaps if I had married my high school sweetheart or chosen a different major in college—but those aren't true regrets. It's just idle curiosity.

I believe it is a profound self-deception to assume life will become perfect once our desires are satisfied, or that happiness is merely the result of achieving everything we once wanted. In reality, desires are endless; one always gives way to the next. These impulses are what drive us toward action, vitality, and growth. Ultimately, seeking liberation from desire involves a certain degree of desire itself. — bluemason3 😛There is a story about a philosopher—I believe it was Socrates—who was once asked by a student when he would finally attain wisdom. To demonstrate, the teacher led him to a river and submerged his head beneath the water. Only when the student began to struggle desperately for air did the teacher pull him up, explaining that wisdom would only come when one desired it as intensely as they desired breath while underwater. It is essential, however, to learn how to distinguish true desire from mere "good ideas," which often masquerade as genuine passion. 😉

Pure nonsense and a blatant falsehood. This is the textbook mindset of someone who has never faced a single real hardship or significant handicap in their life.