OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
What can I say... I honestly think the cure lies within us, much like that old Latin proverb, "Know thyself."
I first struggled with compulsive handwashing and counting right after an elementary school presentation about AIDS—that’s when the washing started. It actually paused during the time we were under heavy bombardment because I didn't have regular access to water, and once that was over, the urge just didn't come back for a while.
Then there was the constant checking of doors whenever I left the house. It happened 1.2 miles where I’d turn around just to make sure I had locked up, or obsessively checking the locks before bed. That all started because I got absolutely chewed out once for actually forgetting to lock the door.
Checking the stove multiple times a day, flipping light switches on and off countless times... everything in the apartment had to be absolutely perfect. There were hundreds of other little bullshit rituals I won't even list, but one particularly intense one was while I was watching a movie about variola vera (smallpox)—I genuinely felt like I was breaking out in smallpox myself because of some teenage acne I had on my face.
I’ve only listed these specific ones because they’re easy to explain how they faded away. For instance, the oven accidentally turned itself on once, but in my case, it wasn't a big deal; I just thought, "Fine, I'll buy a new stove," and that was it—I stopped checking. I used to have to check the whole apartment before bed—TV, water, sijalica, computer—but for the last three years, I’ve been working as a software engineer, killing myself with 15-hour workdays. After work, I just want to watch a movie and crash. There have been countless times where I'm too exhausted to go through the motions, and honestly, for over a year now, I haven't checked anything before sleep. I just know I turned it off, and that's enough.
I'm 29 now, and the only issue I'm still battling is Homosexual OCD. I don't know how to break free from it; sometimes I can resist the thoughts, but other times I just can't, because there's a sense of euphoria that follows sex. When I try to fight it too hard, I spiral into depression, and eventually, I just end up surrendering to the OCD.
Anyway, this story is way too long to tell in one go, so I'll try to post it somewhere else later. But I truly believe self-help is the only way forward, and the best thing we can do for one another is to empower each other to find our own ways to heal.
I first struggled with compulsive handwashing and counting right after an elementary school presentation about AIDS—that’s when the washing started. It actually paused during the time we were under heavy bombardment because I didn't have regular access to water, and once that was over, the urge just didn't come back for a while.
Then there was the constant checking of doors whenever I left the house. It happened 1.2 miles where I’d turn around just to make sure I had locked up, or obsessively checking the locks before bed. That all started because I got absolutely chewed out once for actually forgetting to lock the door.
Checking the stove multiple times a day, flipping light switches on and off countless times... everything in the apartment had to be absolutely perfect. There were hundreds of other little bullshit rituals I won't even list, but one particularly intense one was while I was watching a movie about variola vera (smallpox)—I genuinely felt like I was breaking out in smallpox myself because of some teenage acne I had on my face.
I’ve only listed these specific ones because they’re easy to explain how they faded away. For instance, the oven accidentally turned itself on once, but in my case, it wasn't a big deal; I just thought, "Fine, I'll buy a new stove," and that was it—I stopped checking. I used to have to check the whole apartment before bed—TV, water, sijalica, computer—but for the last three years, I’ve been working as a software engineer, killing myself with 15-hour workdays. After work, I just want to watch a movie and crash. There have been countless times where I'm too exhausted to go through the motions, and honestly, for over a year now, I haven't checked anything before sleep. I just know I turned it off, and that's enough.
I'm 29 now, and the only issue I'm still battling is Homosexual OCD. I don't know how to break free from it; sometimes I can resist the thoughts, but other times I just can't, because there's a sense of euphoria that follows sex. When I try to fight it too hard, I spiral into depression, and eventually, I just end up surrendering to the OCD.
Anyway, this story is way too long to tell in one go, so I'll try to post it somewhere else later. But I truly believe self-help is the only way forward, and the best thing we can do for one another is to empower each other to find our own ways to heal.