Posts by Scott Howard74

Arthur Castillo said:I actually don't think we were ever quite like this. I would never even dream of saying the things my twelve-year-old repeats back to me. Everything is fine as long as things go his way, but if they don't... then it's pure chaos, hatred for everything in sight, and insults. He really knows how to aim right for the things he knows will hurt the most.🙂

Hannah Castillo31 said:There is just far too much misunderstanding happening here... I mean, surely you all remember what it was like being their age? How you felt? The only difference is that today’s American teenagers actually have the guts to express how confused they are. Maybe they’re wrong sometimes, sure, but punishing them isn't going to solve anything. I see so many posts claiming "they used to be such an angel, now they're a monster" or some other dramatic nonsense. We are trying to develop independence and show it! We aren't fragile little porcelain dolls! If you are truly embarrassed by your children or if their behavior genuinely bothers you, then speak up and tell them. With my kids, for example, the thought of punishing me never even crossed their minds, and I turned out just fine. And that girl who got punished because she failed a grade... you honestly think that punishment made her perform better? No. She improved because she finally understood. She would have realized it even if you had just let her be; if you weren't so bothered by her repeating a grade once, you wouldn't be so obsessed with it now.
And don't even get me started on the constant nagging about chores or cleaning their rooms. Excuse me, but is it *your* room? Do *you* sleep in it? Just leave the kid alone! They have a right to their creative mess; if they are doing okay, then you should be okay with it too. Honestly, half of you have no idea what is actually best for your child. I, however, think I know what is best for myself... so go ahead, move forward. Come at me 😂

Hannah Castillo31 said:I am absolutely floored by everything I’ve just read... though, frankly, it isn't your descriptions of your children that have me reeling, it's you...

Lisa Foster2 said:Ha, finally stumbled upon a thread that actually makes sense. Read the whole thing through and I’m feeling a little less alone. We’ve got two kids—I call them my little terrors—one is 12 and the other is 8. The older one has been going through puberty for a year now... way too early, honestly. We really thought we had more time before this hit, but nope. Just my luck. It sounds like most of you are dealing with the exact same madness. These mood swings and the constant attitude are enough to drive anyone insane. We managed to nip the physical stuff in the bud early on, like him lashing out at the little one or trying to take it out on me and my wife, but man... and the repetition! I swear, sometimes I feel like we need to take him to an ENT specialist just to see if he can actually hear us when we ask him to do something for the hundredth time!🤣
Some day, out of nowhere, he tells me he’s absolutely not going to a specialized STEM high school?! And he's only in 6th grade here in the States!
When I asked him what on earth he was talking about, he just starts spiraling, freaking out that if I went to a technical school, he shouldn't have to go either. And we haven't even had a single conversation about high school until now.😕
His teacher changed this year (it's the math teacher), and while he absolutely loved his teacher last year, now everything they say just gets under his skin.🤷

Gregory Wells6 said:Honestly, folks, it feels like living in a cartoon—all this constant clutter, the endless complaining, the shouting, and the general chaos. It’s enough to drive anyone to their breaking point, though I suppose we all just try to power through. Everything seems manageable as long as you see them taking responsibility for themselves—you know, recognizing when they're making mistakes and actually stopping. It stays okay until you start worrying about bad influences, drugs, or alcohol creeping in. Someone mentioned that proactive intervention was key here. I tried clicking that link you shared, but it won't load for me, so I don't have the full context—but I would love some advice on how to handle a 14 or 15-year-old who is absolutely obsessed with "living her own life." She even went as far as demanding that my husband and I rent her an apartment so she can live entirely on her own at fifteen, arguing that it's her "right" to be independent! I feel like I've thrown everything at this—weekly meetings with her school counselor (who actually told me that in her twenty-year career, she's never seen a parent as involved as I am—I'm there every single week, sometimes more!), deep conversations, reward systems, consequences, even mentioning the reality of future job prospects, and professional counseling... you name it, I've done it. And yet, it's like none of it registered. Now, I'm just sitting here feeling this intense resentment. She views every bit of guidance as me being controlling or stifling her personality—just typical teenage nonsense, really. We look so much alike physically, too, which seems to make her work even harder to distance herself from me; she even dyed her hair a completely opposite color just so she wouldn't resemble me. She claims she hates school because I value education, and she refuses to study just so she won't end up like me.
I just have to ask—where does this end?

nimbletrucker132 said:I couldn't agree more with what was said above. Giving in to them isn't actually doing them any favors; if you start bending the rules now, when exactly are they going to learn how to compromise later in life? They really need to develop a sense of personal responsibility.
I also have some serious grievances regarding the manners of today's youth—specifically those around my son's age and slightly older. It all stems from that outdated "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality being replaced by a different kind of leniency. Nowadays, people argue that physical discipline is unnecessary because there are much more effective ways to impose consequences that don't leave a mark—things like cutting off TV time, taking away the computer, the PlayStation, or grounding them from seeing friends. The idea is that you aren't being abusive, yet the loss of privileges actually hits them harder than a spanking ever would.
On the flip side, we are constantly bombarded by the media with these extreme cautionary tales where an entire family basically has to be institutionalized to fix the situation. Just the other day, I saw a story on the back page of the Wall Street Journal about a mother and her 13-year-old daughter. The girl is already smoking, drinking, and running wild, and the mother—who apparently knows everything that's happening 😲—actually took her to pick up birth control, and then rewards her with cigarettes when she’s behaving well 😢!!! The grandmother in the story claimed she does everything she can to coax the girl into being good, essentially saying that if the kid is in a bad mood, it becomes impossible for her to even stay in the same house. I mean, hello? Who is actually acting as the parent in this scenario??!? 🙂🙂🙂

dustymarlin10;16700818 said:Every parent needs to get a real, objective look at what their kid is actually capable of.
Then you gotta push them to hit that ceiling.
Don't give an inch when they start with the whole "I don't feel like it" or "I won't do it" routine...
Look, I'm with you on this. Nobody's got patience for that kind of attitude. I'm strictly sticking to one thing:🙏high schoolis a must.They're gonna finish it, whether they're feeling inspired or just plain miserable, whether they want to or not.That’s just the baseline.After that? If they actually show some drive, we'll help them out as much as we can. But if they don't? Fine, let 'em go find a job. Maybe a few shifts at a local diner or a warehouse will teach 'em that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows like they think!🤷

nimbletrucker132 said:I honestly don't think there’s any need for anyone to lecture others on how to raise their kids. Everyone is navigating their own unique life, and at the end of the day, you know your own child better than anyone else. You understand your household dynamics and what's realistic for your situation. The issue is that some parents just refuse to face the reality of who their children actually are—they'd rather look the other way, but the truth always comes out eventually, sooner or later... 👍For instance, my kid might be a bit lazy when it comes to studying, but he’s incredibly helpful around the house. He handles the grocery shopping, hits up the Post Office, keeps the apartment tidy, and even tackles the windows. I know he's capable because he proves it daily, which is why we can afford to be a little more flexible when it comes to his schoolwork.
On the flip side, I have a colleague whose daughters, aged 16 and 18, won't lift a finger. Their mom is basically cleaning up after them constantly—it's like living in a disaster zone; their rooms look like nuclear fallout shelters. They struggle with even the simplest tasks, yet somehow they're straight-A students at school. 👍
Just look at that 🙏
My colleague insists that academics are the only thing that matters, arguing that they can learn to clean or cook once they're adults. I value education just as much as she does, but I also believe it's vital for them to develop practical life skills outside of a classroom.

Raymond Cruz3 said:Ugh, honestly, those kinds of parents are just the absolute worst! So he’s not ready for his exam? And you’re actually making excuses for him???
If he keeps dodging his responsibilities like this—especially with a free pass from his parents—how is he ever going to learn accountability or stay consistent once he hits the real world?

Harold Flores4 said:I’m just not going to do it... I already told him back when he was still in elementary school that we aren't about to start making excuses for absences that we know nothing about.
So, this kid actually had the nerve to ask if he could bail out two hours early and if I’d cover for him—which, obviously, I knew exactly where he was actually heading—so we just told him fine, but let me be clear, I am absolutely not backing up his excuse. To make matters even more ridiculous, his homeroom teacher is actually checking in to see if I’ll sign off on the absence, claiming that they've been handing out passes like candy to way worse kids lately.
He rolled back through the door that same evening looking way too happy, acting like we hadn't even sat him down earlier to have that whole heavy conversation about him skipping school. We actually went back and forth on whether we should ground him for the weekend since he had those unexcused absences, but honestly, we decided against it. Instead, we just laid it out straight and told him this was his final warning before we officially expelled him from our house, so he better start watching his step if he wants to keep things running smoothly.
The kid is actually pretty sharp, he really is, it’s just that his brain chemistry is acting up a bit and messing with him—you know, those hormone fluctuations can totally throw someone off.

shadowtrucker18 said:Personally, I find it somewhat regrettable that we aren't permitted to receive our own files just to look through them. I suppose one might wonder if I even have the right to view my own record at all. 😢

Paul Morales3 said:Fine. 😁
But I’ve still got plenty of time before my shift starts—I’m just a freshman in college, after all...

Paul Morales3 said:Luckily, I don't get sick enough to make it a regular thing, so I don't see myself switching doctors anytime soon. 🙂 Still, there's a certain comfort in knowing the option is there—say, once I land a new job and actually need some sick leave coverage, because let's face it, when my period hits, I'm out of commission on day one and good for nothing else...

Paul Morales3 said:Great! 👋

But here's the catch—since I picked this new doctor on a whim because she seemed nice, I didn't really stop to consider the commute, and now she lives way across town from where I actually live. If I decide in a year or two that I want to switch to someone closer to home, am I actually allowed to do that?

Paul Morales3 said:I just switched to a new doctor, and she handed me this printed form from the forum that I need to get verified at some local health department office. I’m assuming it’s based on where I live?

What am I supposed to do about my old doctor? Do I actually have to trek over there, grab my physical medical file, and lug it all the way to the new clinic?
Or does that even matter anymore now that everything is integrated into these computerized systems?😕

Honestly, those paper files probably just end up in a dumpster anyway, so why bother going back for them? 🤷
And frankly, I really don't feel like dealing with my old doctor—sitting in a waiting room for three hours just to argue with her and explain myself. Is there any way to just skip that whole headache?

Harold Flores4 said:So, my son spent his whole summer working at a construction site... he was out there grinding all through the break. I actually tried to talk him into taking some time off to just relax and enjoy himself, but he insisted on working. He keeps telling me he prefers the manual labor over being stuck in a classroom, which is wild considering he’s actually doing pretty well in school. My husband just called me to say the grades are holding steady; they’ve dipped a little bit lately, but nothing we need to panic about yet.
The only real red flag is that he’s racked up seven unexcused absences, which is totally unlike him. It’s pretty obvious he’s going through some kind of personal crisis right now, and I’m honestly sitting here trying to figure out the best way to handle these missed days without making things worse...

Jacob Gray3 said:I feel like it comes down to a mix of strict boundaries and some sort of incentive system. It might be helpful to check in with her teachers at school on a regular basis to stay in the loop. Maybe try limiting her time out with friends until those grades start looking better, and if things don't improve, perhaps taking away the smartphone might be necessary. Honestly, she doesn't seem unintelligent to me; I suspect she just lacks the drive right now. Once she finds something that truly motivates her, I imagine she'll start putting in the work.