Posts by feralmoose32

Ann, you put that so beautifully

Honestly, I’ve always been a bit baffled by the sheer lack of research on this forum—I mean, if you have access to the internet, you clearly have the time... just grab a cookie, sit down, and actually read up on things instead of just spinning wheels in the chat rooms...

Every single one of us new moms thought we were going to be these perfectly prepared experts: "I’m going to do this, then I’ll do that," and "don't you dare tell me otherwise"...
But then, you get this tiny, stubborn little human born into the world—someone who has their own rhythm, their own will, and their own distinct personality from that very first breath—and suddenly all our grand designs just go out the window because we have to dance to whatever tune this little one is playing...
If the baby decides to wake up every five minutes, there is absolutely no way you're getting them back to sleep...
If they barely want to eat, good luck trying to force a meal on them...
And if they want to eat constantly, heaven help you if you try to limit how much they take...
I'm talking about those first few months specifically...
Once you get past that stage, you might actually be able to start nudging them toward some kind of routine—you know, the one you originally envisioned for yourself...
What I'm trying to say is, don't go chasing shadows...
And trust me, we've all been lost in the woods before, so don't feel like you're alone in this... 😬

My little guy is eight months old now, and it never even crosses my mind to force him into a nap just because I think he *should* be sleeping... the child has his own internal clock for waking and resting...

Breastfeeding seems to be everyone's biggest struggle point...
And I notice some people aren't even using the right terminology: strictly speaking, breastfeeding means the baby receives nothing but mother's milk for the first six months—no water, no tea, no little spoonfuls of anything...
Then, after six months, you start solids...
Later on, for many of those who felt a bit overwhelmed, "breastfeeding" basically boils down to morning, evening, and nighttime feedings...
For everyone else, you nurse whenever the baby asks—which is why it's called nursing on demand... 😬
Nursing is for hunger, thirst, comfort, snuggles, and play...
It isn't some way for the baby to "mess with" the mom, despite what some people think—and honestly, if you think that way, maybe you shouldn't be nursing at all, then the baby certainly won't have that opportunity to mess with you... 🥳

You can follow a strict schedule if you want—that is entirely your right...
You can choose not to nurse at all—that is also your right...
But whatever path you choose for yourself, please, for goodness' sake, don't go spreading misinformation all over the forums... 🙂

Dana Martin87 said:Moms obsessed with strollers. I had no idea this phenomenon even existed until I got pregnant myself. Everyone tries to convince you that a stroller without a bassinet is a terrible choice—even people like me who think a bassinet is just consumerist greed, a gimmick, and total nonsense. Until now, I only knew about guys who obsess over cars; now I’ve realized there are groups of women who obsess over strollers in the exact same way.
God, I was reading a Chicago forum where some expectant mom says she wants to buy a Stokke stroller, and another woman responds, totally dead serious, "Why would you get a Stokke? Every other person in Chicago has them, just buy a Bugaboo." Helloooo? In Chicago, every other person is starving, not driving a Stokke, and what does it matter how many identical strollers are on the street? Is the only thing that matters if they're comfortable for the baby?!

I used to be disgusted by car guys; now I'm disgusted by their wives too.

And since I'm already on a pre-labor rant: Women who smoke, eat junk food, drink Coke and alcohol, and dye their hair during the first three months of pregnancy while simultaneously claiming pregnancy is the best thing that ever happened to them. Just be honest: "I hate this kid in my womb and I want it to die." Seriously, who are you kidding? If you can't give up something for nine months that threatens your baby's health, don't act like you're overjoyed.

Or those "virgin moms" who act all shocked at women having sex during a healthy pregnancy. If the pregnancy is healthy, sex should just add to the bliss. Amen.

Then there are the women who splurge on high-end stuff like Johnson & Johnson and think that's why they didn't get stretch marks. The cheapest Walmart almond oil and the most expensive luxury cream will have the exact same effect on the final result. I learned that the hard way.

Oh, and the hospital drama. When for the tiniest little thing—just a routine checkup—a woman, her husband, her mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa all start making connections that aren't there, spreading panic into a perfectly normal situation.

Pregnant women who brag about only gaining 10 pounds by 40 weeks, while they could easily carry someone like me who gained 20 kilos. Honestly, this whole weight talk drives me crazy.

And the women who preach about breastfeeding. I don't care one bit whether I breastfeed or not. If I have milk, I'll nurse, but for a maximum of six months because it's proven that after that, breast milk loses its properties and mostly just serves to soothe the baby, which feels like pure perversion to me. So, if there's milk, I'll nurse until six months; if not, I won't, and that's that.

There's more where that came from...

Right, because at six months and one day, the milk magically turns into plain water, right?🤣

Charles Hayes6 said:So, it’s been about ten days since I stood there as the best man, and I finally feel like I can sit down and process everything. I wanted to share how the whole thing went with you guys. After overthinking it for ages, I finally settled on a gift combo: a nice watch, a camera, a cool book, a cake, and some cash in an envelope just so they could grab drinks later. I ended up dropping about $1100 on the whole thing. When we first walked into their place, I spent maybe five minutes catching up with my godson. I handed over the gifts, and he goes straight for the book—which was actually the biggest part of the package. But instead of really looking at it, he kind of peels it open from the bottom halfway up, doesn't even check out the title, and just stuffs it back in the bag. Then he opens the camera and makes some comment about how he can use it for his trips now. He checks out the watch, says it's nice, gives his thanks, and then just heads off to another room. Meanwhile, his mom leans in and whispers, "Wait, what did you guys actually get them?" Then we spent another five minutes in the church, just standing in line waiting for the Bishop to arrive. Honestly, the only photo taken of me was one with the Bishop himself. By the time evening rolled around and we were saying our goodbyes, we spent another few minutes with the kid, and he suddenly announces that once school lets out, he's heading to the coast for a couple of weeks!

That sounds so sad...

My husband was the confirmation godfather for our nephew (on my side of the family)
When we got to the restaurant, I noticed they had a high chair set up, but the little guy insisted on sitting right there next to my husband and me instead
I asked my sister why she wasn't making him sit in his own spot, and she told me he had specifically asked to sit with us because he wanted to be close to his godfather
It honestly warmed my heart so much, and my husband felt the exact same way...🙂

It’s such a shame, really—doctors often end up recommending things simply because there’s an incentive involved... you know, those little kickbacks or promotional gifts from pharmaceutical sales reps that make certain brands look better than they actually are.

Luckily enough, I have a close friend who works as a nurse in a local clinic and another who is a pharmacist at a major drugstore chain, so I can always just reach out to them to see if a specific treatment is actually worth the hype or if it's just clever marketing...

Just wanted to give you all a little heads-up—I actually managed to snag a seat on the subway today... both times I hopped on 🥳
...

rapidranger7 said:The absolute worst part was walking into Walmart feeling bloated and uncomfortable, only to have everyone act like I didn't exist instead of letting me cut ahead... plus all those comments about my age versus how far along I am. Even though I'm not exactly a kid anymore, when I had my first son...

So, you had your second at 24 and people actually had the nerve to tell you that you were too old???? Or maybe too young??? 🤔

wanderinggardener12 said:I can see it now. The sour expression, the disbelief, the aimless flipping through pages just hoping to find some loose change tucked inside... But regardless of how that kid reacts, I wouldn't participate in dulling their intellect, whether they appreciated it or not. If encyclopedias were sold with premium branding on the cover, they’d certainly be a coveted gift. An encyclopedia from a flea market—$33, from Name—maybe 200, from Benetton—300, and the prices would just keep climbing... And if it were a special edition tailored for blue-eyed kids standing between 5'3" and 5'5", you could probably tack on another 20% to the price tag...

Besides, do you really believe everything worth knowing is available online? A general encyclopedia was merely a small irony—a testament to the idea that a physical book is something truly worth owning for anyone with half a brain. And if they haven't reached that level yet, well, I can at least wish it for them.

And just imagine having a fifteen-year-old whose highest ambition in life is to get some mindless gadget (some "i-something") that will be obsolete before they even fully understand how it works, leaving them to cycle through three more identical devices before they even finish high school.
I know a girl who spent 62 hours on her phone in just one month (with a bill totaling $400)! Buying a smartphone or any similar device for someone like that is essentially telling them
that this behavior is perfectly acceptable...

I am always, absolutely, all for books—but like Ribez mentioned, it's really about the child who actually finds value in them, like a kid obsessed with astrology who wants books on that specific subject...

Unfortunately, the info in an encyclopedia will probably become outdated long before a new phone model hits the shelves...

To give a real-world example, my father-in-law is a total bookworm, and about 20 or 25 years ago, he gave a full set of encyclopedias to his godson...
The kid wasn't exactly thrilled, so it isn't just about the greediness of today's youth—it's really about whether the gift is appropriate for the recipient...
Even today, everyone in the house still teases him about it, especially his sons...

wanderinggardener12 said:I once bought a Samsonite suitcase for one person, fueled by nothing but the dream of seeing the world; I bought a piece of graphic art for another, which now hangs on her parents' wall until she can claim it for herself; and I even covered a trip to Rome for two, where she got to travel alongside her mother.
The ideas just keep coming:
- A complete aquarium setup, fish and all the gear included
- Foreign language immersion courses
- A massive encyclopedia or perhaps a classic anthology of poetry...
- A season pass to the local theater
- Skydiving, paired with a commemorative photo book
- A hot air balloon ride, also with a keepsake book
- A high-quality camera
- A bicycle
- A dog (provided the parents actually agree to it)
- Speed reading workshops
- A musical instrument.
There is plenty more where that came from.

Just imagine being fifteen years old in this digital age and receiving a giant encyclopedia...
Oh my god...

jadejackal said:I'm in the exact same boat
It's constant—comments like, "Oh, you didn't put on any weight," or "You've only got a little belly," or even, "Wait, we thought you'd have gained at least 40 pounds by now." 🙂 🙄

Honestly, I've always been a bigger girl and struggled with my weight—so I guess everyone just expected me to blow up like a balloon during this pregnancy. 🤷
Instead of being happy for me because things are going well, they just stare at me in total shock and disbelief.

Even my own family is acting surprised, though most of them are actually pretty thrilled about it...

The only one who gave me a hard time was my mother-in-law this past Sunday; she goes, "So, did your hips widen a little bit after all?"
I just shot her a look and told her no—it’s just the dress, especially since I'm still wearing my old underwear...

Honestly, she's just jealous because her 22-year-old daughter ended up looking like a balloon after her pregnancy...☕

Taylor Garcia30 said:Did you use them just to treat an active issue, or more as a preventative measure?

Initially, I used them strictly for treatment—I actually went through about five or six bottles of the oral solution for a yeast infection, and I was using the topical cream vaginally for maybe five or six weeks... so, two bottles total—but now, I always keep some suppositories on hand in my medicine cabinet. If my doctor ever prescribes an antibiotic, I’ll just take one right away to stay ahead of things
Or if I feel even a tiny bit of irritation—I'll just toss one in
But honestly, throughout my entire pregnancy, I only used them once... all my tests have come back perfectly clear so far...

I honestly can’t recommend the Acidosalus lineup from Marino Lab enough...
They carry all sorts of oral probiotics at different strengths—plus vaginal suppositories and even those milky treatments you apply with an applicator directly...
For me, they were a total lifesaver after dealing with chronic yeast infections for years, and now that I'm pregnant, all my screenings have come back perfectly clear...🙂

If you’re just sitting there wondering what to do with yourself—well, just show some love however you can!
You'll be getting a little something from the rest of the crew too, so you should have plenty to pick up whatever you've been eyeing...

Nicholas King said:It’s honestly chilling if an anonymous forum post about some unidentified priest is the only reaction we get from everyone who actually witnessed such an act.

I really hope his parents stepped in—if I were his parent, I certainly would have...

Charles Murphy6 said:It’s pathetic, but let’s be honest: kids these days are only looking forward to their First Communion or Confirmation because they’re eyeing the gifts or the cash handouts.
We can try to run from this reality, but there’s no escaping it. I’ve already had parents come to me asking exactly what the kids want—whether it’s cold hard cash or a specific gadget. Honestly, as a parent, the idea of walking up and saying, "My kid wants a new MacBook," feels incredibly humiliating, and if I couldn't even afford that for my own child, the last thing I’d ever do is impose that expectation on someone else.
If it were up to me, I’d just bake a cake and buy a cheap little necklace—which would probably get lost in a week anyway—or maybe a Bible, though let’s face it, those usually end up being used as doorstops or something to whack people with, so what choice do I really have?
I don't even know anymore; the whole situation is becoming downright grotesque.
The way they approach faith nowadays is absolutely disgusting, especially when you hear about priests telling kids during their confirmation prep that they'll basically be getting a "gift card" tucked into their plate...
The whole thing makes me sick, truly.

I was at a service once where the priest actually scolded a child—just because the little one added their last name when they were only supposed to say their first name...
Absolutely dreadful...

Honestly, you all just give everyone permission to get under your skin, don't you? 😬

hiddentiger80 said:Prenatal massages, everyone waiting with bated breath to see how my labor will go because all the midwives in the surrounding area have dealt with nothing but absolute disasters... the endless questioning about how I’m going to deliver, the method, every single tiny detail that I don't even bother to tire myself out explaining... and finally, the frantic obsession over everything I'm buying (or planning to buy) just to stock up so they have everything ready right when they need it 😲

😲

Just tell them you're saving it all for the next one... 😉

northernseal6 said:I'm talking about people who DON'T live in a house or a mansion, and don't have a yard, woods, a farm, or a vineyard. Still waiting on an answer there.
My heart starts racing constantly—it's been going on for 17 weeks now. If I don't hear from her after I get upset or something, I just spiral into total panic.

I honestly don't understand why this is getting under your skin so much.
It’s like... if a wife brings her husband his slippers when he walks through the door, it shouldn't be a problem for me just because someone else chose to set up their life that way...

Why can't you just accept that not everyone is out here trying to be "ultra-emancipated"? There are thousands of different types of women who just act according to how they were raised, or simply how their husbands have gotten them used to things...

Take our situation, for example—we aren't living in a castle or anything, we're just in a 700-square-foot apartment in the city.

My husband was up at 4:00 AM today, worked from home until 7:00, got ready, and headed out to the office.
He didn't get back until 7:30 PM to grab dinner before heading right back to the firm, and he's still not even home yet...
So, now that he finally walks through the door, am I really supposed to hand him a list of chores to do around the house?
In that scenario, I’d think I was losing my mind...

Now, let’s say this is an outlier—he isn't *always* working like a maniac, and I'm not constantly exhausted either...

I work an 8-to-4 job and, if I'm being honest, I'm quite lazy—though I do cook lunch every day, and most weeks I barely do any housework beyond keeping the bathroom and kitchen somewhat presentable.

He’s usually up by 4:00 or 5:00 AM to work from home before leaving for the office around 7:00, and he typically gets home around 7:00 PM.
Even then, the thought of dumping household chores on him doesn't even cross my mind...

On Saturday mornings, he heads out for a big shopping trip while I sleep in, then we meet up with friends for coffee, grab a bite to eat, and then spend the late afternoon cleaning the apartment together.
I handle the kitchen and the bathroom, while he dusts, vacuums the floors and furniture, and mops...

For those big deep cleans every few weeks, I usually just hire my aunt to come over and help clean.

Sundays are mostly for work, whether he's at home or at the office, and I usually spend my Sundays doing the laundry and ironing...

So, I don't know if I've "bossed him around" enough for your standards, but for mine, it's more than enough...

Well, 😬

In your case, I think it's more of an outlier... and honestly, Grandma might just need to step back and let Mom take the lead for a bit

I mean, you really just have to be firm with her—you know? Just set those clear boundaries about who’s running the show... distinguishing between what a mother does and what a grandmother does... if you can establish those lines, everything could still work out just fine within reasonable limits

hiddentiger80 said:I listen to this debate constantly because I have an unofficial mother-in-law who went absolutely ballistic, and I finally cut her off after trying to handle things nicely several times. Now, I know I'm being subjective, but can someone please explain to me why I shouldn't have done it? My own mother hasn't tried to dictate what I should do or how I should live my life; she hasn't meddled in a single decision regarding my pregnancy so far, nor does she call me to interrogate me about every little detail. Instead, she calls just to ask how I am and how I'm feeling (not asking how big my belly is, if I'm burping too much, or if I've put on weight, etc.). She doesn't call people around town acting like she's the one pregnant—making things up or taking half-truths from others and then acting like a spokesperson for misinformation. She even tried to "slightly" badmouth me, 🙄 (read: I snapped because I couldn't swallow certain things, and that was apparently her way of venting)... she would align herself with my father-in-law to assert her 😲, claiming that once I give birth, she'll be the one in charge of everything and doing this and that (a twenty-minute monologue, mind you, where she isn't actually offering help, but rather insisting on watching the baby so that I lose sight of what my actual role is in this whole situation... I realize I'm 😬 unimportant to her). She avoids telling the truth to my face and acts incredibly sweet, but behind the scenes, it's a complete disaster😁. I don't need someone like that near me during such a sensitive period of my life because she isn't well-intentioned, let alone polite. And above all, she isn't thinking about her grandchildren or their well-being; she is just terribly selfish and trying to heal her own complexes. 🤷 On the other hand, I have my mother, who told us, "You two have your own lives, and we are here if you need us—call and I'll come over, or if you don't, I'll just drop by to clean or whatever else is needed." And believe me, she isn't any less excited about the arrival of a little girl... I just worry that she might start badgering my unmarried partner and try to direct his life, and honestly, after a few hours of that, someone might end up getting thrown out of the house..... We are already middle-aged, established adults, so that aggressive interference shocked me even more...

You can limit how much time she spends with the baby, but at the end of the day, that woman raised your husband, and she is going to be the grandmother to your child—like it or not.

I honestly don't understand how your husbands turned out so wonderful despite growing up with such toxic people? 🤷

I mean, you’re really gifting a little box to the whole family or the couple—it's not like you're handing out 12 ounces per person... 🤷