Posts by boldnomad45

Richard Lewis16 said:🤣🤣🤣
You're honestly spot on, though it wasn't Americans I was hanging out with, just three French guys I used to run with
They were basically living off European Union funds and various grants for six months down in Bolivia, working on this program about frog breeding—which basically meant they spent their time trying to get certain types of frogs to mate
And when I say "working," well, in Bolivia that usually meant showing up maybe three days a week if they weren't stuck being glued to a lab bench, but even then, they wouldn't be starting anything before 10 in the morning
Man, if only I were young and still a student again, and if only I had known these kinds of opportunities existed back then...
I really hope students here in the States are taking full advantage of these projects and exchange programs nowadays, because while I know plenty of examples where they do, it still feels pretty negligible compared to the total student population as a whole...

It all goes on the CV, even if you didn't actually learn or do anything useful.
I assume universities have their own math regarding why they hand out scholarships to people from the other side of the world. It’s likely just for show, while they pull five times that amount out of their own budget for these supposed "exchanges."
I heard this radio segment about a girl who got a scholarship to India for something completely unrelated to her major. Nothing at all.
Since she was young, she was brutally honest about it. She’d show up at 8 AM because she was told to, but the faculty assistant wouldn't even show up until 11, just asking how life was going. It was treated like a study, but there were no data, no labs, nothing. Just pure chaos. They probably just filed a project report about an international exchange, blah blah blah.😉And pocketed some cash.

darkseal9 said:Gets a scholarship in Milan, heads to Brazil on a study abroad program, travels every inch of the place, then thinks, "Hey, let's climb Machiavelli," just to go to some random college there too? Like, seriously, who's footing the bill for all that movie-style nonsense?

You're young, you want to eat, you want to party, and none of that is free. So, who's actually paying for Jacqueline?

Parents? Or maybe some of those European Union handouts meant for eternal students. Massive bureaucracies need things to do, and "lifelong learning" is one of their favorite distractions—study, travel, blah, blah. If you're young, have a decent family, and aren't exactly run-of-the-mill, you can live like this on weird scholarships for projects like studying dam impacts on frogs in Bolivia, or smog effects on butterfly communities in Peru, or just riding horses in Mongolia.http://www.chicagotribune.com/us/news/researching-bolivia-945808Some lucky souls get to research stuff in Switzerland or London and actually live well off it.

Maria Long2 said:Honestly, I’m feeling so pumped because over this past year, I’ve actually built up a much more responsible side of myself—like, a totally different version of me! It’s all thanks to my first real "catalyst for change," which has been such a game-changer for both my life and my career. In my experience, these shifts kind of happen on their own—sort of like how some people just suddenly find that burst of willpower to finally kick the smoking habit, you know? Right now, I’m at this point where I feel super proud of what I've pulled off, and I feel like I could really use a breather. It's hard to admit, though—my subconscious is still whispering that I haven't quite earned a break yet—but I keep telling myself, "Yes, you absolutely have!" A new idea just hit me, too: if I take the plunge one more time, I bet the payoff will be twice as big as the first time. I am definitely using the New Year to spark even more changes. I know some people out there are always like, "Ugh, here we go again with everyone's little resolutions," because let's face it, whenever a crowd forms, there’s always some troll ready to ruin the vibe. But I don't want this to be a one-time thing where I just wake up and try to fix everything; I want this to be my lifestyle every single year. If I can make this kind of positive change part of my regular rhythm, why wouldn't I?

Every successful person you meet, when they get asked about their secret sauce, basically says, "I never stopped believing in my dreams." But I think the real trick isn't about being some perfect, hyper-organized machine—it's just about moving toward that goal. Why does a goal have to be this one rigid, specific thing when it could also be about becoming more organized and planning better along the way? I truly believe every single effort and every tiny bit of progress counts. We shouldn't be beating ourselves up over wasted days, just like Jeffrey Ramos4 said—we just need to accept who we are and keep pushing forward without all the extra stress...

A very encouraging post.👍

Robin Reyes said:Back when I was younger and had fewer responsibilities, I knew I was an introvert, but I figured it would eventually just fade away. Once I got married, though, it became much more obvious. My wife started making me feel like some kind of social outcast for avoiding crowds, and there’s this unspoken rule in American culture that couples always have to hang out with other couples. Now, if we’re at a gathering with four or five other pairs and I decide to skip it or bail early, I get labeled as the weirdo or told that I just don't like people.
It isn't that I dislike them; it’s just that I can't stand the topics, the pushiness, and the endless hours of mindless chatter and petty gossip. I’d much rather spend my time reading, going for a hike, hitting the gym, or traveling instead.

Thank God my partner and I are on the same page about this. If we weren't, I'd be stuck attending weddings, christenings, and pointless get-togethers just to keep from offending someone.

Andrew Wells58 said:Regards,

I'm trying to figure out who actually has access to my digital medical records right now. Who can view them, and who has the authority to update them (assuming it works differently than this initial entry)?

Also, is there any way for me to pull up my own file or see an audit log of who has been looking at it?

Same question here. Do I need to go through my local clinic to get this set up, or is everything already available on my MyChart portal?

Larry Walker24 said:Just rewatched that incredible movie after all these years.

Anyone else seen it lately?

Yeah, I love it. Usually pair it with
Driving Miss Daisy
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097239/

corrina
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109484/

help
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454029/

If anyone has recommendations for similar films—something warm yet grounded in reality—please share.

My mother had her bag stolen, and it contained all her medical records (neurologist follow-ups, etc.) from the New Hospital.
Does anyone know how I can get copies of those files? Who actually issues them?
I need the documentation to apply for an assisted living facility, but the records they have only go up to 2013.

I'm at a loss on where to start; nobody seems to have an answer.
Thanks for any help.

Timothy Cook4 said:The truth is, one does not simply choose who they fall for. By the time things shifted into such an intense emotional territory, I was completely unaware that it was even happening.

You do choose. Subconsciously. A stable person would never pick a partner like that. We end up with a mirror image of ourselves. Not better, not worse. Just an exact reflection of our own stability—or lack thereof.

Timothy Cook4 said:I am quite aware of that reality. However, I wouldn't say I am the one creating the drama; rather, whenever a conflict arises, I tend to take things far too personally, which leads to feelings of insecurity and makes everything much more complicated than it needs to be.

You aren't causing the drama. You simply invited it into your life by choosing this kind of partner.

Timothy Cook4 said:I suppose what you said holds some truth. I did attempt to start with myself. When these difficulties first emerged, I found myself repeatedly asking him if I was truly enough for him... many times over... and my lack of self-assurance was something he found somewhat amusing. As for why I fell in love and why I yearn to be with him—it is because he was the very first person who, during my moments of deepest insecurity, would essentially "slam his hand on the table" to prove to me just how capable and worthy I truly am. He has never allowed anyone to speak ill of me; he listens to me with an intensity I have never experienced elsewhere. He offers such unwavering support, even when I am busy defending my own father against him, yet he also possesses the ability to open my eyes to my own faults so clearly that I am moved to tears.
That is precisely what I fell in love with, which is why it is currently so excruciatingly difficult; we are facing the fallout of a third party, combined with my own inability to grasp the need for space from someone who is battling his own internal storms.
Being with him is incredibly taxing... especially with someone who seems to live under a constant emotional blockade, where you can only discern their love through their actions rather than their words. It is difficult, but I must admit that I am also being difficult, which is painfully obvious. It breaks my heart to realize that I have become a burden to him because of this entire situation, and that realization causes me such immense pain and exhaustion. This is why I struggle to maintain patience, though I know I must; until I can find peace within my own heart, I fear we won't even be able to remain friends. :-(

Exactly this. You need a support system, a friend, maybe a therapist to heal those wounds. If you mistake a romantic partner for a therapist, you're heading for disaster. Start working on yourself. You're seeking out partners who can fix you, just as you try to fix them. It doesn't work. Deal with your own issues and seek professional help for that. Until you actually understand and accept yourself, you'll just keep cycling through these toxic, dramatic relationships.

Timothy Cook4 said:I certainly understand the logic behind that perspective, yet I find that life rarely presents itself in such starkly black and white terms.
It is difficult for me to grasp why he maintains such a distance from me—someone he truly respects—until I have completely calmed down, whereas he allows those who constantly insult and belittle him to continue doing so without consequence. It is as if they think, "He’s an idiot, but I’ll fix him," and so he remains categorized among people he doesn't value. Conversely, regarding me, he honestly tells his brother that I am the best thing that ever happened to him, yet the moment I experience a moment of panic or distress, he leaves me to simmer on a low flame until I regain my composure.
I simply cannot make sense of why he doesn't apply the same social policies to me as he does to others. For instance, he maintains a friendship with his ex, even though she openly calls him a pig or an idiot in public... despite the fact that during their time together, he was driven to the brink of suicide. But with me, he views me as a fulfilled individual with my own mind, a transformed and new person while we are together; I would never disparage him, yet he refuses to allow me even the slightest hint of sympathy or vulnerability.
He will go out of his way to repair the roof for someone who stabbed him in the back, fully aware of their betrayal, yet he refuses to let them get close to him. Meanwhile, if I seek any sort of validation or explanation, I am immediately placed on standby until I settle down.
This is precisely the issue that has cost me my peace of mind and fueled all our disagreements. It isn't really about that pseudo-friend; it is about his reaction toward me. He does not permit me, as someone in whom he has built deep trust and respect, to ever have an emotional outburst.
It is as if, were I to have committed a crime against half of his family, he would view me as an enemy, yet he would still step up to help me because he is fundamentally a good man. As for me, even though we have broken up, I still bring him food whenever I see him and look after him; he clearly appreciates this and I can still see that he loves me, but the very instant I bring up one of our recurring problems, he pierces me with a single, freezing look.

It's because he's unstable. Period. You need to figure out why all this is acceptable to you. Why did you unconsciously choose drama? Why are you drawn to someone this broken? Maybe it's so you don't have to deal with your own mess. It's easier to blame someone else, to analyze him, rather than face yourself, your loneliness, or whatever else is there. Realize this: until you start working on yourself, you'll always end up in another drama.

Timothy Cook4 said:It isn't that I am inherently unstable; rather, I feel as though I am losing my mind because I am encountering this kind of behavior for the very first time. It isn't that I desire a breakup, but I certainly need some distance.
It is incredibly difficult to say that I should just walk away, because doing so wouldn't be for our sake, but rather for the sake of a third party.
I don't believe anyone could remain composed in my position, receiving accusations of infidelity from a jealous friend—someone I have known for four years—regarding a man I have only been seeing for four months.
It is hard to accept his sudden withdrawal when I know it stems from the overwhelming baggage of his past relationship rather than any actual flirting on his part.
We shared such a profound connection because we have navigated similar struggles, though he eventually buckled under the pressure while I managed to stay upright.
Breaking up because of someone else—someone whom we both agree is a toxic individual—is an agonizing prospect.
That is precisely where the conflict lies.
He leaned on me for everything; during our time together, he was actually quite a decent person, holding onto these optimistic visions that he would eventually make something of himself.
For those first four months, he was a completely different man, but now, he has descended into this state of crisis.

You are unstable. This whole drama with a friend feeding you theories about infidelity? That's textbook instability. He is already unstable and needs peace and consistency because his mental state is shaky. Realize that even a minor issue could push him over the edge. It’s probably better if he isn't in a relationship at all.

Timothy Cook4 said:No, that isn't quite the crux of the matter. He truly loved me in the most profound sense imaginable, right up until the moment all that infidelity and third-party nonsense began. After a certain point, he started to drift away, though a breakup was never even a consideration on his part; it only fell apart because I was the one who finally reached my breaking point.
It strikes me as somewhat absurd, and frankly, quite baffling, that ever since I've known him, he has insisted on labeling himself as "emo." He talks about being emotionally numb—as if he could just take a Xanax and switch off—claiming he feels absolutely nothing, yet when it came to me, he was capable of genuine connection and would let his guard down, something he still doesn't deny today. But once the betrayal started, he simply retreated behind this impenetrable emotional wall.
He has his own little obsessions, those private escapes where he hides from the rest of the world. Honestly, at this stage, he’s likely too checked out to notice if an alien spacecraft were to land right in the middle of Times Square.
All things considered, it is incredibly difficult, because any other man would have just been blunt and said, "I don't care anymore," or "We're done."
But with him... it feels like waiting for Godot while he remains locked in this solitary, internal struggle against himself.
It is heavy, and the truth is, I love him. I am still caught in this limbo, unsure if this is truly the final goodbye or not. I find myself struggling with the uncertainty; my entire worldview tends to be very black and white, and then he arrives, complicating everything with his endless shades of gray.

Leave him alone. Someone dealing with all those diagnoses and medications needs peace and stability. You seem pretty unstable yourself. If you actually care about him as a human being, let him find some peace in his life.

Chris Robinson25 said:Nah, I'm just curious. I've heard from plenty of people that "hanging out" with unstable types usually ends pretty fast... just wanted to get a real perspective.

A psychiatrist once told me the same thing. Back then, I had a friend who had been through heart surgery just like I was going through my own struggles—he was pretty unstable, just like me. My doctor basically said we were drawn together by the mutual venting, but that those aren't solid foundations for a healthy relationship. You tend to attract exactly the kind of partner you are at that specific moment. Since I wasn't stable, happy, or even mentally healthy back then, that was the only type of person I could pull in. And he was right. I didn't need that relationship, though I did learn something from him. Still, that whole experiment cost me way too much.
I shouldn't have been with anyone at that time. I was actually looking for a friend, someone for support, not a partner. Whatever. I didn't realize it then. I should have listened to the doctor.

Jacob Lewis5 said:Kudos to the atheists if they actually pull off forcing their worldview on everyone else and blocking 85% of kids from taking religion classes. Honestly, learning about Moses and having actual conversations about love and friendship is way more important in school than just mindlessly memorizing facts without understanding a thing, which is how most other subjects go anyway.

The majority included the Nazis once, too. That’s the reality of "the majority." We need less indoctrination and more computer science, hard science, civic education, and financial literacy. Those who get it, get it.

You were a huge help. Thanks.

Michelle Evans said:Yes. What can I help you with?

I'm struggling with anxiety, constant dread, and pretty much zero self-esteem. Is this actually real therapy, or is it more for... I don't know, "normal" people who just need to socialize and work through some minor issues? I'm wondering if this is serious enough for someone like me, or if I'll even fit in. Is it just kids, or is there a mix of everyone here? Honestly, I'm having trouble articulating what I'm looking for. Feel free to DM me.

Thanks.

Has anyone here actually gone through this type of therapy before?
Thanks.

crimsonorca42 said:Bingo. Especially that first point you made. I think I've felt that frustration firsthand myself.

As for the second part, what can I say? Everyone starts shouting the moment someone else cuts in front of them. And it’s not just at the doctor's office. People act outraged when others skip the line, yet they rarely notice themselves doing the exact same thing. To them, it feels perfectly fine. Don't even get me started on people ignoring traffic laws.

I suppose, as a society, maybe we just have expectations that are a bit too high. In everything, really. I think we could all benefit from a little dose of reality. It might be better if we lowered our expectations ourselves before we hit the ground hard.

Spot on. Everyone rants about politicians, yet every single one of my acquaintances uses connections to skip the wait at the doctor. They don't realize that by pulling strings, they're taking a spot from someone who actually needs it. It isn't just them; everyone working in the healthcare system has relatives or friends they push ahead. That mentality is baked into the whole country. It's a societal failure, not just a political one. The culture is selfish and rotten. And this state of affairs is the reward.

Andrew Doyle said:Look, you have to do whatever works for you. Personally, I would never beg anyone—not for friendship, not for love, and certainly not for attention. In fact, I’d tell them to take a hike, along with every single year we wasted together (and honestly, the closer we were, the more brutal my exit would be). Let them deal with my reaction, and let them be the ones to figure out what the next move should be.
If someone is that indifferent or too dense to realize what’s actually happening, then there is absolutely no harm in letting the connection die.
At the end of the day, that’s just how life works—people hit a crossroads and head in different directions. It isn't a tragedy; it's just reality.

Agreed. But most people can't handle being alone. They'll settle for a forced friendship that only survives because they’re doing all the heavy lifting—making the calls, checking in, listening. They accept those hollow relationships just to maintain the illusion that someone actually cares.
They hold on until they're strong enough to face the reality that the friendship is already dead.