Posts by coppergardener

Look, my friend—even if you were handed a magic shot on a silver platter, do you honestly believe that would be the end of the addiction? I truly believe that emotional dependency is a far more complex beast than physical craving. When it comes to the latter, a person can become attached to anything at all. A vaccine isn't going to shift your fundamental outlook; it won't change who you are at your core. Sure, perhaps it might help you get back on track enough to function temporarily, but... for how long?

And frankly, excuses are what I find most difficult to stomach. Take my brother, for instance—he’s cycled through countless hospitals (where, quite frankly, they mostly just made things worse for him), and I lost count of how many times he agreed to enter a rehabilitation center only to flee. He’d hitchhike home after just three days because he realized he actually had to learn to appreciate what he was given—that he had to wash his own dishes, that he had to actually get off his butt in the morning. There were wonderful people there; there was so much he could have learned—but every single time, he quit because he felt it was too "grimy," because he "had to work," or because nobody there was willing to tolerate his aggression. And so, here we are: a thirty-year-old man sitting at home like a corpse. He has no friends left—and no, they didn't abandon him; they kept showing up, over and over... he's the one who pushed them away. All he has left are pills, the television, his own internal terror, and, of course, those debts he'll never actually settle. My brother has cancer, Mom is fragile and working all day, I'm stuck in university and completely overwhelmed—my health is honestly failing from the sheer stress of it all. If I end up in surgery, heaven knows who will be left to look after me. So, I am heading out now to make an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Oh, right. So, the title of this thread is actually: "Support for families dealing with malignant and other severe illnesses"—not what I’ve been calling it, for goodness' sake. For the hundredth time now, I’ve been typing "...long and difficult illnesses," which—let's be honest—is more the kind of thing you see on an obituary notice. I didn't even realize I was mislabeling it every single time; apparently, I haven't even been conscious of just how much of a pessimist I can be.

Hello to everyone.

feralheron44 said:Greetings to everyone here.
I have a rather difficult question to pose—my colleague’s father (a 75-year-old gentleman from San Francisco) has been diagnosed with small cell lung carcinoma. To be blunt, the doctors aren't offering much hope regarding his prognosis, though they have prescribed chemotherapy. Interestingly, they mentioned there aren't any metastases present at this stage.
I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a similar situation within their own family? Furthermore, does anyone have advice on how one might provide even a modicum of support during such a grim time?
Thank you!

There is actually a slightly lower-level thread titled "Support for families dealing with long and serious illnesses"—I've popped in there a few times myself; usually, people are a bit shy about it, which makes it a little draining to navigate, but you can find quite a lot of good advice. There is this one man—I believe he is a priest, goes by the nickname Lepina, and has his own blog—you can find him here on the forum too. He supposedly beat lung cancer using the Breuss diet. Perhaps you could ask him if you are interested in specific details or reading material? It involves a very strict regimen (42 days) which, of course, wouldn't be recommended to follow during active chemotherapy, consisting primarily of a blend of vegetable juices and teas. Another option is the Budwig diet, which I personally find a bit less taxing on the system; it uses a base of protein (like low-fat cottage cheese) and oil (flaxseed), while still incorporating plenty of vegetables and other things. Most commonly used are beets, radishes, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, celery, and bell peppers... You can find books on both the Breuss and Budwig methods.
As for what the colleague's father should avoid, the main thing would be animal fats, refined carbohydrates, fried or roasted foods, additives, and, well, obviously smoking.

My own dad was diagnosed with small cell anaplastic (lung) cancer just ten weeks ago. Honestly, I don't know what to tell you—the prognoses for that specific type of carcinoma are the worst, the statistics are quite terrifying, though apparently, it responds better to chemo than other types. I am currently a total wreck, so I can't offer any particularly profound advice, but—even though I don't know his exact stage and I really shouldn't be speaking on this—considering the age of your colleague's father, it might not be wise to overwhelm him with strict diets; who knows how he will feel? Let him enjoy his family and the things he loves as much as possible while he still can. Regarding the chemotherapy, to help boost his red blood cell count, we give him beet juice and plantain tea, and for his appetite, Vitamin B and red onions. Some people also suggest that baby syrup for appetite. And then, of course, the classics: shark cartilage, Noni, Aloe Vera, beta-glucan, propolis... you have a whole spectrum of products. One must be very careful with nutrition, and he will certainly need certain supplements since eating becomes so difficult during chemo, but please, don't overdo it with a mountain of supplements because that will be too much for the body to handle. Personally (if I am even allowed to use the word "personally" in this context), I don't really have faith in chemotherapy, especially if the lifestyle or general outlook on life doesn't change, but my dad has been going through it for two months now, and he also has no metastases. It just makes me so angry and leaves me feeling incredibly ambivalent because he rejects everything; I can barely force a bite of broccoli on him. He just won't eat vegetables, even when his appetite returns between chemo sessions. I have to repeat myself a hundred times a day just to get him to drink more fluids, etc. He is terribly stubborn and irritable—likely due to hormones, and he is also very scared. It requires a tremendous amount of patience.

What the colleague's father will need most—that is, the thing without which all the therapies will fail to achieve the desired effect—is the support and warmth of friends and family (though, please, don't all crowd him with those looks as if he were already on his deathbed). Check out that thread I mentioned earlier; perhaps the moderators could move this post there?

Michelle Reed33 said:If we’re strictly following BMI metrics, anyone with a BMI under 18.5 is considered underweight. So, what kind of physical state is someone actually in if they have a BMI of, say, 17.5?

I honestly don't know—it's all so incredibly subjective, isn't it? BMI isn't always the most reliable yardstick we have. You see plenty of very thin people who function perfectly well despite having a low BMI; there are so many other variables at play here! For instance, age plays a massive role, and then there is the matter of physical exertion—how much strain an "underweight" person puts on their body through daily activity can completely change how they fare. It's much like what Sam Hall15 was mentioning earlier—malnutrition (in its broader sense) is just one single cause among many. While people often use the terms interchangeably, it doesn't necessarily mean the issue is simply about the quantity or quality of food consumed. It could be something else entirely, perhaps an underlying medical issue like a malabsorption syndrome, which brings us back to the question of why and how... and for that, one really ought to consult a physician.

Well, you see, hives don't necessarily have to involve swelling or any kind of shortness of breath—in fact, most cases don't include those symptoms at all. If we are talking about itchy welts appearing on the skin and then vanishing just as quickly as they arrived—as if they were never even there—then I really can't imagine what else it could be besides urticaria.

Oh, please—don't let it rattle you too much! It isn't always an irreversible situation, you know? But really, who exactly is being kept in the dark here?

gentlecanyon92 said:won't that weaken the immune system too?

And then—well, you just sit there waiting for whatever germs are floating around out in the open air to catch you... 😁

I should probably mention malignant changes as well.

Wait, which ones specifically aren't available?🙂

Let’s start with the absolute basics—if you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, you'll find these links: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malnutrition

Now, I suppose it really depends on what exactly is missing from the diet, doesn't it? Are we talking about a specific nutritional deficiency—say, scurvy if there's a lack of ascorbic acid, or perhaps beriberi if B3 is low—or is it a more general state of malnutrition? It also matters how long this has been going on and just how severe the situation is. You see, it can interfere with hormone synthesis, which then triggers a whole cascade of other issues... things like stunted growth, skin problems, neurological complications—you name it...

darkmaker94 said:P.S. Honestly? I think they’re just blowing smoke about it lowering cholesterol just to line their pockets. I mean, a pack of four little bottles—which, let's be real, gives you maybe three sips per bottle—will run you $5.00.😲 But my wife? She won't hear a word of reason.🙄

I'm right along with you there—it reminds me of how companies like Tropicana try to claim those cranberry or pineapple juices are some kind of miracle worker, when in reality, they're mostly just sugar water with a measly 15% extract that does absolutely nothing for your urinary tract or weight loss goals. Why bother? Just show her my previous post where I pointed out that:

for that much money, she could have bought her son a brand-new pair of Nikes! (Poor kid.)🤣

Well, if those welts look like they were caused by stinging nettles and they’re itching like crazy, then we are definitely looking at hives. Though, I should mention—and I'm just thinking out loud here—that people who sweat a lot can also deal with breakouts or some sort of itchy rash that isn't actually hives (I can't quite recall the specific medical term for that... whatever... a rash... something like that...)

Sarah Anderson4 said:...red bumps on my neck, chest, stomach, and back. They itch, but they don't last very long...

By the way—"that"—is actually called urticaria, or hives. There has been some discussion about this on the forum before, so perhaps you could browse through some older threads or just give Google a quick search.

It can be triggered by all sorts of things—it isn't always just about nutrition, you know? For some people, even cigarette smoke can be an irritant. Quite often, it is psychosomatic in nature. I would suggest using mild cleansers, avoiding overly hot water, and making sure to wear cotton clothing—that is a must! As far as food goes, the classic culprits are citrus fruits, bananas, peanuts, or preservatives; then there are antibiotics and a whole host of other medications, followed by detergents, fabric softeners, dust, or even dandruff (for instance, if you scratch your head and then run your hands over your skin). If it becomes chronic, you might want to see a doctor who can refer you for testing, or perhaps visit a dermatologist—though those tests aren't always definitive, considering how much your condition can fluctuate based on your physical state, your stress levels, and simply how you handle everything. If this happens strictly after showering, I suspect you might not even need antihistamines—even many people dealing with much more severe issues refuse to take them because they make you feel so drowsy. However, if you ever experience difficulty breathing or swelling of the tongue, please—get to the emergency room immediately... or wherever the nearest ER may be. The itching is, of course, a nightmare, and it can even worsen the mental state of those for whom the urticaria is psychosomatic, which can lead to a worsening of the skin symptoms again—creating a sort of vicious cycle where people perceive their condition to be even worse than it truly is. So, I would recommend seeking help if it persists. Then again, it can sometimes just vanish on its own one day. The paths of urticaria are quite strange, aren't they?🙂 And whatever you do, try not to scratch; otherwise, the itchy spots will merely expand or disappear only to pop up somewhere else, "jumping" all over you—not to mention that dermatographism doesn't look particularly lovely (those marks left behind when you scratch). Supposedly, applying pressure with something cold can soothe the itch. So, press, do not scratch. And one important thing: try not to overthink it (I realize that sounds impossible when the itching starts!), but the more you panic, the more persistent it tends to be.

Now, I propose we organize an evening of mutual scratching—with preference given to young men between the ages of 25 and 30.😍 .

I’ve picked up some Walmart yogurt a few times—you can usually find it at Kroger—but honestly, I struggle with the idea of spending that much money on it. Personally, I’d rather just stick to low-fat cottage cheese and goat milk. To me, brands like Walmart feel overpriced in the long run, and besides, does anyone actually know how much Omega-3 is even in there? Is it worth it? Perhaps it makes more sense to just consume standard light dairy products and find your Omega-3 through other avenues—maybe some salmon, or simply buying some flaxseed oil? Flaxseed oil is wonderful; you can just drizzle it over a salad, and you can find it easily at any local health food store. Then there are flaxseeds themselves—ground ones are quite fine, too—and they’re relatively inexpensive, plus they really help with digestion, though I suppose one wonders how much actual oil is actually extracted from them. Speaking of flaxseed oil, it’s a bit of a controversial topic, isn't it? However, among many cancer patients following the Budwig diet—which is essentially a specific ratio of low-fat cottage cheese mixed with flaxseed oil (since taking the oil entirely on its own could potentially be dangerous in a cancer context... after all, the body needs those fats to process things correctly)—there have been reports of significant improvements in blood counts. Some people dealing with glioblastoma have even claimed it helped them recover. Regardless of the specifics, flax is incredibly healthy, but one mustn't overdo it! I know a few older ladies who heard olive oil was a miracle cure and started eating it straight by the spoonful... I mean... hello, you fool! You use it to season your food; you don't just shovel it into your system! 🤣

My tibia is acting up again after my runs—honestly, I’m at a bit of a loss here. It feels silly to keep dragging myself back to the doctor, given how often I seem to be sitting in those waiting rooms lately. But it’s truly frustrating when the pain is so specific... you know, localized right on the bone itself rather than just some vague muscle ache. I mean... I don't even run that much! I make sure to use high-end sneakers with plenty of air cushioning, and I’m quite diligent about stretching and massaging the area, so it feels quite peculiar. Perhaps it's because I'm carrying a little extra weight or because I have flat feet? Or—and this is just a hunch—could it be related to bone density? My dental work has been a bit of a nightmare due to demineralization, and I have a few other health quirks going on as well. I feel like I'll lose my mind if I stop running, yet there's really nothing else I enjoy nearly as much. The funniest part? I usually run on asphalt, but last year, when I switched exclusively to grass, the pain was actually much worse (?!). Does a stress fracture feel unbearable, or is it possible to just walk right through one without even realizing it? (I suppose all I'm missing is a pair of crutches at this point...) goodness me! 😢

Bryan Chavez37 said:I’ve been taking calcium and vitamins for a while now, plus I drink aloe vera on an empty stomach every morning, and I can honestly say things feel slightly better overall. I only really have milk in my coffee, though that doesn't seem to bloat me nearly as much as actual meals do. I eat small amounts more frequently, I don't rush through my food, and I generally stay away from greasy stuff or fast food. You make a good point, though—I think I’ll go ahead and get my liver and thyroid checked out, even if I'm totally clueless about what those tests actually involve. Does anyone here happen to know how that works?

Well, from what I understand, for the liver, they usually start with an ultrasound—though I'm not entirely sure in which specific cases they'll bother testing enzyme levels—and for the thyroid, you typically do blood work. Your doctor will be the one to decide if you need an ultrasound as well.

Noah Sanchez7 said:@Ciara, if you felt targeted or anything like that, then you really don't get where I'm coming from.

My whole point isn't that I have an issue with people taking anxiolytics, antidepressants, xanax, or whatever else—but I also don't have an issue with someone using heroin. My main point is specifically that those who rely on prescription meds shouldn't be judging addicts, because at the end of the day, they're both just dealing with dependency.

Furthermore, I want to prove that a person has the right to be vulnerable, the right to try to help themselves, and the right to do so on their own terms without needing a doctor's permission.

I also want to show that for some people, addiction is a life path they've chosen, not just some tragic mistake. You don't have to respect that choice, but you shouldn't judge it either.
Someone choosing the "path of least resistance" might be viewed as "lesser" on some moral hierarchy compared to someone taking the "hard road"—which we could call the righteous path—but that doesn't give anyone the right to condemn or cast them aside. We aren't living in the Middle Ages,
or in a society based on slavery.

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Here’s a simple example: Did you know that under certain laws here in the US, you can actually face up to a year in prison just for growing a single plant in your garden? One single plant!!
Now I ask you, how does that hold up against common sense?
Who actually has the authority to arrest me just because I'm growing a plant in my backyard, even if I plan to smoke it later?

A life path? What... is that... like a lifestyle or something? Honestly, it feels like more twisted logic and defeatism—much like that argument about mothers abandoning their children, which is a parallel that is totally out of place here. Besides, looking at this thread, I haven't noticed anyone actually judging. Sure, you might see a stray, half-baked comment from someone who clearly hasn't a clue what they are talking about, but those comments are minor enough that you forget them five minutes after reading. Most people who jumped in to reply to George Ramirez11 didn't explicitly or implicitly express any kind of judgment. We aren't ten-year-olds, after all; many of us have been through the wringer, and many of us are stuck in the trenches and might not get out for a long time (if ever). It’s highly unlikely that anyone seriously discussing this intends to judge. The goal was simply to offer advice to this woman—who clearly is feeling it deeply and needs help, even if she doesn't quite know what or how, but she *wants* to live, she *wants* to love. This isn't about saying, "you're a loser" or "you're a bitch" or whatever. Living with an addict is incredibly painful—it can drive you to hate that person from the bottom of your soul because they've shattered everything you had—but a person can't survive long with that kind of hatred. Eventually, you realize how much it eats you up inside, that it isn't healthy, and that it leads nowhere. And besides, addiction can happen to anyone. So, I really don't believe anyone came here to feed their ego or vent aggression toward addicts.

Noah Sanchez7... I see you have a lot to say, but perhaps we are drifting a bit too far from the heart of this topic? Maybe it would be better if you started your own thread—or better yet... do you have a blog? Make one! Or write a book? Devise a reality show? Something like a parody of those celebrity rehab shows, only... "The Life and Times of Noah Sanchez."

I suppose I'll jump in too, though I'm not sure what else there is to say. Hang in there, George Ramirez11, and I truly hope you make the decision that is best for you and your entire family. I know, it sounds cliché, but: from the bottom of my heart, stay strong!😘

hiddenwolf11 said:Hey everyone... please help... I'm new here... So, the thing is, I've realized lately that after I eat something like Cheese... I really feel sick afterward... I get this mucus feeling in my throat and feel like I'm going to throw up... And honestly, while I'm eating pasta with Cheese, my stomach feels so heavy I can barely sit, let alone stand... But this just started recently (I've been having thyroid issues lately, do you think there's a connection?) I've lived my whole life avoiding milk and Cheese (and mayo), and even though I feel much better if I skip them and eat something else, they're still the first things I reach for when I'm REALLY hungry. I was wondering if anyone could help with suggestions for substitutes? Though personally, I don't think any of them measure up... You have no idea how much of a shock this is... My brain still thinks it's the best food in the world, but my stomach just rejects 😢 I'm lost on what to do
thanks guys 🙂

It is very possible that those things are linked. If, for example, you have reduced kidney function, then it could be that your metabolism has slowed down, making it harder to process certain substances. But it doesn't necessarily have to be directly caused by the kidneys. You might be what... "an autoimmune person"? (Gosh... I don't know how to put it properly...). The thing is, if you have an autoimmune disorder or disease, there is an increased likelihood that other autoimmune issues will coexist with it—not that one causes the other, but rather that both are stemming from the same underlying systemic cause. Now, as for why that happens, or what the specific trigger is... well, that's entirely individual.
Maybe take a deep breath and try not to worry too much; perhaps your lactose intolerance is just temporary, or maybe it becomes more pronounced during periods of high stress or when your body is feeling run down. You'll eventually see how it affects your digestion personally. By the way, how do you fare with yogurt? As for me, yogurt, Cheese, and goat milk seem fine as long as I don't overdo it—and if I exercise a lot, my metabolism speeds up, so I actually enjoy milk after a run. Plus, I eat tons of broccoli and oranges, fish, and nuts (so delicious, but I just can't stop, and I don't eat meat), and some legumes here and there. I don't take supplements, though I probably will eventually because my bone density is a bit low.

Kimberly Davis52 said:Is that what causes that sensation—you know, like my tooth enamel is just melting away—right after I eat an apple or some other kind of fruit? 😁

Good grief, don't tell me you're turning into a hypochondriac too.😁

Well, I’m not entirely sure how much this applies strictly to fruit or acidic foods, but generally speaking—after you finish a meal—it might actually be more advisable to wait about 10 to 15 minutes before brushing your teeth (rather than diving straight in). You see, during that brief window, your saliva is still busy secreting those helpful enzymes that assist with digestion; essentially, the food processes more efficiently, which places far less strain on your gastrointestinal tract. As for the acidity issue? It's true—consuming excessive amounts of acidic stuff can certainly take a toll on your tooth enamel. The same logic applies to vomiting; people struggling with bulimia often deal with demineralized teeth, largely due to the presence of stomach acid. However, if you’re using a high-quality toothpaste or perhaps an aminofluoride treatment, you really shouldn't live in fear of anything acidic—just please, for heaven's sake, don't go three days without brushing your teeth!😬.

I honestly feel that if she wants to get ahead of things, she really ought to start preparing her application for the halfway house immediately—it isn't as if they just let you walk through those doors in forty-eight hours, after all. And frankly, without the child in the picture, she might actually have some breathing room to focus on herself during those initial, most difficult stages. Little one has Grandma to lean on, but even though he’s small, he is certainly going to sense the tension when Mom is struggling; children have this uncanny way of feeling the weight when a parent tries to force a reality that simply doesn't exist. It seems to me she needs to take a proactive stance against the things clearly spiraling out of control right now—why leave it for tomorrow? We can't truly know for certain (and neither will she until things hit the fan), but perhaps sa her husband will find himself having less space to maneuver. As for this notion of "functioning normally" while using drugs... well, that's a complete joke. Everyone knows that state of being is unsustainable, and this "normalcy" is nothing more than a facade—a mere illusion. It isn't a life, and it certainly isn't who she really is.

Noah Sanchez7 said:The girl made herself perfectly clear in her opening post.
So please stop badgering her about hooking up when she isn't interested, even if I’d probably give her the same advice.

In my opinion, your best bet is to have your grandma pick up the slack for you.😛
A junkie could definitely pull that off.
I just hope she isn't out on leave too.😬

Look, Noah Sanchez7, I really ought to report you for being a total weirdo—and look, one of your posts on this thread has already been deleted (I managed to read it, and I truly hope this girl hasn't...), but I won't be a jerk because I believe everyone should have the right to say what they think, and deleting wouldn't be very democratic. So, let's get down to business: I run into you occasionally over in the Psychology sub, and since I'm not here nearly as much as you are, I haven't read a mountain of your posts, but:
It seems to me that you have some underlying issues, and even though you've likely been through plenty and aren't necessarily an authority here—and I won't pry into what specific disorder you may or may not have because that's indiscreet and, frankly, none of my business—you still come across as a bit "burnt out" to me (sorry, don't take it personally!). It is quite evident from the very way you express yourself. You aren't doing it right now, but you tend to abstract and generalize your advice and comments far too often; consequently, someone who is seeking help while feeling utterly lost and confused might misinterpret you because you are trying to rationalize things to find something solid to hold onto—yet your rhetoric, despite all its energy, is filled with just as much ambiguity. Even if you are frequently correct, you (perhaps unconsciously?) know how to make your posts extremely non-constructive. You seem like a relatively bright person, but you formulate your thoughts so awkwardly that, if viewed as actual advice, I would consider them somewhat psychologically dangerous.
And honestly, we would probably all call you out if we weren't all just messing around, but I don't think there is any room here for jokes about grandma with a pipe or your little emoticons. That child does not deserve to grow up one day watching her mother self-harm or die from an overdose because she couldn't afford drugs, and the mother doesn't deserve to be tempted by short-term fixes that will only drag her down further. No one can force her to do something she doesn't want to do (let's hope she finds her happiness), but there are plenty of people who have come out of rehab as functioning members of society and successfully rebuilt their lives. There is suffering involved, there are setbacks, and it takes time; withdrawal is incredibly difficult and ugly—two steps forward, three steps back, as the saying goes—but what is being asked for here is something constructive, not defeatism.