Posts by Brandon Lopez6

Zachary Stewart2 said:Has anyone else dealt with that total emotional numbness after taking their meds? I'm curious—how long does this usually stick around, and when does it finally lift? Any advice on how to handle feeling so flat?

For me, it lasted the entire time I was on them. It didn't finally lift until I stopped taking the medication altogether.

Jason Vaughn482 said:Honestly, that seems to be the standard operating procedure everywhere you go. It’s a systemic pattern. My own daughter ended up in the emergency room because she suffered a massive allergic reaction to some medication for shingles; as soon as one side of her face started swelling, we demanded attention, but they just insisted she wait until both sides were completely blown out before they'd finally admit her to the hospital for eight days. Of course, they wouldn't admit fault, so I should have seen that coming. That said, I don't hold any particular prejudice against mental health issues; my issue lies elsewhere. It deeply unsettles me how things that used to be strictly confidential are now so exposed—you can practically Google any specialist's diagnosis or history the moment they step out of line. And frankly, I have zero patience for people playing games or being shady.

i get it. i don't have any judgment either, but i also don't want just anyone poking around my medical records, seeing my diagnoses, or knowing exactly what meds i'm on. some things are private. it's the same way i wouldn't want everyone knowing i'm infertile. there's nothing shameful about it—it's just personal, plain and simple.

Jason Vaughn482 said:I sat down with the director of psychiatry today to lay everything out regarding my diagnosis, and while she was perfectly polite, her response was incredibly telling. She insisted she couldn't touch the diagnosis because it’s strictly the doctor's clinical judgment, but if you read between the lines, the subtext was crystal clear: Medicare is making it impossible for them to prescribe certain antipsychotics for this specific condition. Apparently, if they label it as just an anxiety disorder, Medicare won't cut a check for anything—not even Seroquel. They practically have to manufacture psychotic elements in the paperwork just to get the insurance coverage approved. I told her straight up that I refused to accept a diagnosis I didn't agree with just to satisfy a billing requirement, but she just shrugged it off as if my identity wasn't being rewritten by a bureaucrat. I even went as far as saying I might head down to the Medicare offices myself to demand answers about why they require these fabricated diagnoses just to release medication, but she offered no defense; she just sat there with this maddening indifference. It’s infuriating. I pointed out that every specialist I've seen agrees with me, yet she just gave me a little shrug, as if this were all perfectly normal. It feels like these diagnoses used to be carefully guarded clinical truths, but now they've become nothing more than convenient labels tossed around to navigate the insurance maze. In the end, it feels like shouting into a void; all my efforts to fight for the truth are just disappearing into some database somewhere.

That sucks 😢. You said it yourself, you guys look out for one another... at least you gave it a shot 🙂.

Jason Vaughn482 said:What’s your take on this? Honestly, my concern is that within psychiatry, people can play such dirty games; anyone can scribble down whatever diagnosis they feel like. I had originally imagined sitting down with the head physician so she could personally evaluate me... but you’ve given me a much more potent idea, though I’m still weighing whether it would actually hold water, especially given how sensitive these mental health diagnoses can be. Still, thank you for the suggestion—I'll certainly give it some serious thought. Of course, I wouldn't go to the media for their sake; it would be entirely for my own sanity. You know better than anyone how the public perceives us, which is exactly why it stung so much when she essentially spat on four years of my hard work and my clinical history—and that’s to say nothing of my colleagues, both of whom were on duty that day.
And you could always file a complaint with Medicare, reporting that they’re fabricating diagnoses just to pad their numbers for the Associated Press

Just bluff. She won't even realize you're bluffing.😁

Jason Vaughn482 said:But the reality is, those private files don't really exist anymore; everything is digitized in a centralized system, and even my family doctor can see it all. Even if I return my specialist findings to the clinic, it's already logged.
Whenever I visit a cardiologist or a gastroenterologist, they just type in my name and the whole history is right there. I know this for a fact because they tell me directly—there's no ambiguity about it...
I actually considered reaching out to the Chief of Psychiatry to see if she could sit with me for a while to talk things through, but I realized that doctors tend to look out for their own. I went there hoping for some relief, but instead, I feel ten times worse than I did yesterday... just completely drained and exhausted. That fatigue is easily my biggest struggle, or perhaps the most punishing side effect of this anxiety.

Just go to the department head and threaten to take the whole story to the AP. Usually, that's the only thing that scares them...

Jason Vaughn482 said:Hold on a second—are we talking about your psychiatrist or your primary care physician? That distinction has always been a blurry line to me... honestly, I’m increasingly convinced that half these doctors don't even know how to properly assign a diagnosis; they just pick whatever fits their current mood or schedule. Personally, I know exactly what I'm dealing with because I live it every single day. For instance, I don't feel like I'm spiraling into true depression, even though that was on my chart previously. My provider always insisted there was no psychosis involved, and eventually, she realized on her own that my core issue is actually anxiety, so she updated my code to generalized anxiety, even while noting "depression in remission" underneath. If you ask me, the depression was never really the driver; perhaps it was just a byproduct of the anxiety—that heavy, draining sensation you get when you can't do everything you want to do, but it's hardly the clinical depression people imagine.

primary care

restlesstiger49 said:@magdalena1967, @Brandon Lopez6, and @fadedbear92, thanks for the replies! It really helps to know I’m not the only one dealing with such brutal side effects. To be honest, after going through this, I don't even have the energy to think about trying other medications, but we'll see what the doctors have to say.

Now I just have to power through this nausea...🙂 damn it!!!

That's exactly why I'm terrified to start anything else.

Since when were we allowed to edit posts like this? 😕

Jason Vaughn482 said:Exactly, she gave me the same thing! Can you believe it? She saw me for the first time and was already ten steps ahead of me. But listen, it doesn't have to stay that way indefinitely. Once you visit your primary care physician, they should update your records with the correct diagnosis. Why would they keep labeling you as 33.3 when you're clearly 41 now?

It's because my doctor is a bit... well, scatterbrained 😁.
He hasn't even factored in my two new diagnoses (the main one is anxiety, but I also have a personality disorder on the chart), yet he keeps logging the old one. I always mean to bring it up, but then I totally blank on it.

Jason Vaughn482 said:Oh, believe me, I didn't even want to take it. I handed the paperwork right back to her and demanded she wipe it from the system, but she refused. It’s truly staggering how they try to convince us we're more unstable than we actually are... honestly, when I confronted her, I found myself wondering: what exactly do they think makes my fears psychotic? If I have an elevated tumor marker and am required to undergo blood work and abdominal ultrasounds every six months, that isn't some irrational delusion—that's medical reality. I am absolutely livid right now. I even went looking for my regular physician, but she wasn't on duty, so I tracked down this other woman to fix the error, only to be told she "can't delete someone else's findings" and that it’s now permanently etched into the computer. My records used to show a 41.1, but today she entered this heavy-duty depressive disorder with psychotic features... you could tell she felt awkward about it, yet she stubbornly refused to clear it.
And what exactly is an F33.3 classification?

Back then, I was dealing with intrusive thoughts—OCD triggered by months of being harassed by a landlord, which ended with me getting evicted and developing a massive phobia of being alone. Because of that, I got tagged with F33.3. Of course, I had no clue what that meant at the time, so I Googled it. What comes up? "F33.3 Recurrent depressive disorder, current episode severe with psychotic symptoms." Like, what the hell? I’ve never been depressed in my life (aside from those temporary winter blues), and I’ve definitely never been psychotic. I just had intrusive thoughts.

I don't even know what to say to you. It drives me absolutely insane when my referral still says F33.3, even though my actual diagnosis is F41 now (I’ve had OCD episodes before too). It’s so embarrassing to carry around referrals like that because not everyone needs to know I'm "crazy." Especially since I'm not that crazy, and honestly, I'm not even that far gone.

I don't think there's any way to get it deleted. And the worst part? I'm terrified it's going to haunt me later on, like when applying for jobs. Even though an employer technically shouldn't have access to that data, if they really wanted to dig, they could. Even the lady at the CVS pharmacy can see what meds I'm taking just by typing in my name and birthday, and I bet somewhere in that system, the diagnosis is listed too.

Jason Vaughn482 said:Today was an absolute disaster, quite frankly. I ended up trekking down to the psychiatric ER because my next scheduled appointment isn't for another month, and I’m feeling utterly drained—completely exhausted, especially since I'm currently fighting off a nasty virus. I went in hoping they might adjust my meds or offer some relief, but instead, I was met with a complete stranger. This doctor, someone I've never even seen before, started grilling me with these intense questions. I tried to be honest about everything—the anxiety, the crushing fatigue—and when she asked if I would be open to an antipsychotic, I figured, why not? Let's give it a shot. And that is exactly where I stepped into a trap. She scribbled down a prescription for Olanzapine, and I walked out of the office without even glancing at the official report. I was only in there for maybe ten minutes total. It wasn't until I was outside that I actually read the summary, and let me tell you, it hit me like a physical blow. She had documented "severe depressive episode with psychotic features." I marched right back in. I demanded an explanation of how on earth she could reach such a heavy diagnosis after a mere ten-minute conversation—something that was never communicated to me. It reminded me of what we were discussing the other day regarding how doctors often feel compelled to note "psychosis" just to justify prescribing certain medications. I looked her straight in the eye and told her, "If you only wrote that to facilitate the medication, I won't accept it under those terms. I am returning this paperwork to you, and I expect you to delete that from the system immediately." And what do you think happened? She refused. She stood her ground, claiming that because she had already seen me and made her assessment, she wouldn't budge. I handed the papers back and retreated home, absolutely livid. The reality is that not every specialist you see—whether it's a cardiologist, a GI doctor, or anyone else—is going to pore over your entire history, but all of this is sitting right there in the digital record for them to see. It’s not a secret anymore. I lost my temper completely. My regular doctor has known me for years and has never once labeled me with anything like that; she knows my history is strictly Gap Inc., and that's it. No depression, no psychosis. So now, what am I supposed to do? This label feels like a permanent stain, a stigma that will follow me forever. She clearly wasn't comfortable when I confronted her, but she stubbornly refused to yield. What would you all have done in my shoes?

You can always just choose not to hand the report over to your primary care physician.

My doctor misdiagnosed me the exact same way, so I've got that heavy diagnosis stuck in my medical records too, and it bugs me just as much as it bugs you. Even two years later, I still get pissed off just thinking about it.

So if the doctor says you need surgery, what’s the actual damage $667? My doctor mentioned the exact same thing she told you, but she totally dodged the question on the cost or any potential issues with having kids later down the road 😕

restlesstiger49 said:I have a question for anyone who has used Lexapro. I'm curious if you experienced anything beyond just nausea—which seems to be a pretty common side effect—such as heightened anxiety, intense psychomotor agitation (like being unable to sit still), trouble concentrating, or dizziness. Based on your experience, how long does this usually last? Everything hit me all at once, and honestly, it's becoming unbearable. I'd love to stop taking this medication as soon as possible.

I was on Lexapro for about a month, just one pack. For the first week, the side effects were somewhat manageable since I was taking at least half a dose, but once I bumped up to the full pill every day, everything changed. New symptoms popped up and the old ones just got way worse.
By the end, I was anxious 24/7. My phobias flared up, and I started feeling anxiety symptoms I'd never even dealt with before.
I ended up stopping the meds after talking it over with my doctor, and even though I wasn't taking the Lexapro anymore, it took about three weeks for the side effects to finally die down.

I also found myself leaning on Xanax way more during that time, since that was basically the only thing that could actually calm me down at any given hour.

Can I get a partial on the ladies' side? 🙂

wanderingpanther68 said:Can anyone help me out? I’ve got zero experience with online selling, but I’m looking to offload some weights—maybe on Craigslist or right here. Honestly, the whole process feels like a massive headache and takes way too much time. I’m not sure what the best move is for shipping 🙄 say, if I sell to someone who isn't in my city, should I just use FedEx? Thanks... 😉

Here’s what the site says regarding FedEx shipping. Not totally sure about the exact cost, but if you can swing it, using them is a solid move. It gives the buyer peace of mind knowing they’ll actually get what they paid for 🙂.

* Don't want to get off the couch but still need to ship something?

Then door-to-door delivery is your best bet. It covers:
the driver shows up at your door right when scheduled
picking up your package
dropping it straight at the buyer's doorstep

Keep in mind:
Highlighting FedEx shipping helps guarantee security for the recipient and usually draws in more buyers.
Once they get the notification via text or email, the recipient can pick their own delivery window.

Just select the listing you want to arrange shipping for and follow the prompts. *

Joseph Hernandez95 said:Hey there,
I was wondering if you have the legal right to open a package before paying for it—you know, just to make sure it's actually what you ordered.
Thanks

Nope.
Your only real option is to ask the delivery driver to hang back while you pay, just so they can witness if you didn't get what you actually bought. But honestly, that’s entirely up to them whether they stay or not.

Zachary Stewart2 said:Look, I know a fair amount about borderline, but that's not actually what's eating at me. I'm still stuck in that same rut—everything feels dull, and I just feel totally listless and drained. Whether I'm out or just hanging at home, it's the same. I sleep, and then when I'm awake, I'm just counting down the hours until I can go back to bed—not because I'm tired, mind you, but because there's absolutely nothing I feel like doing or interested in. My folks are complaining about my lack of focus too, saying I'm becoming more forgetful. They think I'm losing my edge. I can't help but wonder if it's the meds—even though I don't really "feel" them working anymore—or if I'm just overthinking it.
Xanax works so quickly that you end up needing a higher dose just to get the same effect... I'm torn on whether I should bump it up myself or wait until I talk to my psychiatrist, and honestly, the fear of getting hooked is definitely hovering in the back of my mind.
Also, does Citram cause drowsiness? Because when I take it in the morning, I sleep great, which makes it a total nightmare to actually get out of bed later.

Never do it on your own. Always, and I mean always, clear it with your doctor first.

shadowbear9 said:I suppose when you finally find yourself stuck in the same nightmare we insomniacs deal with, you won't care whether you're poisoning yourself or just sedating yourself. 😉

I'm a girl.
I think you’re looking at this from the wrong angle. It's like saying someone dealing with massive panic attacks could justify popping ten Xanax just because they're thinking, "well, I'll need them when the next attack hits..." Or someone hearing voices—they'd have their own reasons too.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to lecture you, but I just wanted to point out that what you're doing isn't exactly healthy. Between the insomnia and everything else, the last thing you need is some other physical issue cropping up on top of it all. 🙂

I finally quit because the reason I was even on them disappeared. It wasn't like I had some full-blown psychotic break or anything, just a really heavy bout of recurrent depression with some psychotic symptoms mixed in 🙂.

Since I’m already hanging out here, I might as well ask... isn't there some unwritten rule about not dumping Psychology and Health posts in here? 🤔

Leeloo hit the nail on the head there. Sounds like a textbook panic attack to me.
They usually tend to flare up right after things get super stressful.

wearydriver41 said:This might sound a bit naive, but whatever the cause may be, there’s always a natural component to recovery that will DEFINITELY HELP—and it certainly won't hurt (and I say this from personal experience since I used to struggle with sleep issues too):
try hitting the sack at a decent hour, maybe around 10 PM, and set your alarm for 8 AM so you actually force yourself to get up (whenever I just couldn't do it, I’d basically force myself out of bed, get dressed immediately, and head out the door—just for a walk), eat healthy with plenty of foods that boost your energy levels (think oranges, lemons, grapefruit), skip the coffee, have some green tea in the morning instead, and make sure you're getting some physical activity in (like running, walking, hitting the gym, or biking... at least 45 minutes a day). You should also check in with your doctor about taking some guarana or something similar...

Trust me, it’ll help at least a little bit—just FORCE YOURSELF TO DO IT FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH.

Nah. Grapefruit isn't a good idea with most meds, especially when you're dealing with psychotropic stuff.

Off-topic.
Is it actually possible to be this wiped out from the meds? I was taking Zyprexa along with another antipsychotic once, and man, it was brutal. I’d sleep for like 14 or 15 hours straight without even stirring, stay awake for maybe two or three hours, and then I was right back in bed. Just totally out of it.
My mood was just... off. In general. Even though I was on an antidepressant that was supposed to be leveling things out and lifting me up, nothing seemed to touch it. I just couldn't bring myself to care about anything—even the stuff I used to be obsessed with. It was like all my interests just evaporated.

So, I finally got off the meds, but honestly? My sleep situation is still a total mess. It hasn't really stabilized at all. For a while there, I was pulling like 10 to 12 hours of sleep every single day. Back then, I was out of work and dealing with the exact same headspace and anxieties you're going through right now. I'm working again now—not doing long shifts, just getting back into things—but I’ve actually managed to settle into a decent routine, hitting the sack around 10:30 PM and waking up by 7:00 AM.
Waking up isn't exactly a smooth process for me every single morning. It’s kind of hit or miss—like, if the sun is actually out, I can usually pull myself out of bed without much drama. But when it's gray and raining? Forget about it. Getting to sleep at a decent hour is pretty inconsistent too. Sometimes I catch a quick nap in the afternoon, but honestly, it doesn't really mess with my workflow. I still get my stuff done at the office just fine.

I wanted to tell you that things will settle down once you actually start working. In my experience, sleep just becomes an afterthought anyway. You drag yourself out of bed because you have to, then you get hit with so many tasks and responsibilities at the office that you don't even have time to process how exhausted you feel—you're too busy wondering when you can finally grab a sandwich or take a coffee break. 😬And honestly, once you finally get back home, it's easy enough to crash for an hour or two if you really need to. Most days, though, I don't even bother with a nap. That afternoon window is pretty much my only chance to actually catch up on the news, surf the web, or just veg out in front of the TV.
The first week or two is probably gonna feel pretty weird and rough, but honestly, once you get past that, you’ll just fall right into a routine. 🙂.

Yeah, honestly, when the weekend hits, I usually just crash for like 12 hours straight. It’s like I’m trying to "make up" for the entire week, you know? But by Sunday, I'm usually back to my normal routine. 🙂.