Posts by Keith Fowler43

George Garcia9 said:thanks everyone 🙂 but 🙂 I really don't feel like talking about this with people from the USA, so I guess you guys are stuck with me 😛

So.... I already said I don't want to see a psychiatrist or anything.. but my mom already set an appointment for Monday, so now I have to go 😢 whatever.. Fax!!! I haven't passed a single exam.. I don't even know if I'll get all my credits.. I HAVE ZERO MOTIVATION FOR THE SUMMER SESSION! I already know I'm going to fail everything and I just won't care.. Honestly, I'd rather just quit for now and start over next year (in the fall) because I know it's not going to work.. I just have no willpower...

But I don't know how to tell my parents.. because even though they know what I'm going through, somehow.. as long as you're still going to college, there's this impression that "everything is fine," but if I stop going now, it's different... then I'm labeled as the crazy girl who won't go to school..... I don't want to.. disappoint them, how can I say it differently.. my stomach is already knotting up just thinking about having to attend lectures.. I don't have social phobia (I think I'm social, I go out and stuff) but I hate college and I feel like a total loser there because I'm failing and I just don't care about anything..(while everyone else is talking about exams, lectures, etc.) and I have this "all or nothing" mindset—like, right now I don't feel like going to campus, but I want everything to be perfect, to go there with energy, to study, to write papers, to pull an A... instead of just "existing" and showing up just to say I was there....

So I'd much rather just fail the year right now, take some time off to get treated properly, find some random job to do (so I don't feel like a complete idiot) and return to college when I'm actually "ready"...

But I'm terrified of what if I'm NEVER ready? What if it stays like this forever?

I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to tell my parents that I'm incapable of studying right now? I feel so much guilt because I know there are tons of people who either couldn't enroll in what they wanted (and I could) or don't have the money for college even though they want to, or don't even have money for food or whatever, while I have every opportunity... yet I have all these mental issues that I'm dumping on my family 😢 and that makes me feel like an ungrateful brat and a loser. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe I just need good therapy to get myself back on track and then continue where I left off? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE? Which one is true? Am I LAZY or am I being RATIONAL? 🤷

The problem is that I took a break last year (and went to a psychiatrist who didn't help) and every single night I dreamed about college and felt guilty for not going, even though I damn well couldn't because I was depressed and losing my mind. Basically—if I don't go to college, I feel like a loser, and if I do go, it's the same thing because I'm incapable and unmotivated and I end up feeling like a loser again 😢 😢 😢 advice? 😛

Oh, I know exactly what you mean regarding your parents; that’s actually what kept me stuck in college for a while too! It felt so foolish to just quit out of nowhere, especially since they were footing the bill, and I really didn't want to let them down. But honestly, I completely lost my drive after I failed a few classes that I was absolutely certain I would pass. Having a tight budget at the time only gave me more reason to want to walk away. Well, fast forward three years, and look at me now! I've managed to save up a nice little nest egg to start working on my own apartment, I have a job that I truly love, I've paid back some of the money I owed my parents, helped them out, and met some wonderful people at work. And the best part of all? After a few years passed, my appetite for life finally came back, and I've set these amazing new ambitions that I'm striving toward... so, yeah. For me, it turned out to be a great move, so I just wanted to tell you that things aren't always as bleak as they seem; I was in the exact same hole as you, and I truly understand how heavy this feels.😉

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Douglas King9 says: here's what she wrote🙂: it's totally true, and I finally realized that the whole point is just staying positive! But what's the catch? Every time I actually manage to think positively, those nasty negative thoughts about myself come rushing back, and I just take it as a total defeat... everything just falls apart. It's because I don't truly believe in myself or think that I can actually be okay and stay upbeat. It's awful! It feels like this endless daily battle against my own mind, and honestly, it’s getting pretty exhausting. If only there was some kind of guarantee that I could eventually win and finally beat that negativity once and for all🙂 well, now I'm starting to sound a bit like I'm in 'Star Wars'...😁

I have just one little question for you—do you find yourself overanalyzing everything after every single conversation? Like, do you start spiraling, wondering if you left a bad impression or if you sounded totally foolish or embarrassed yourself? Please, tell me if you do!😍

George Garcia9 said:Hey, I’ve posted on this forum before, but I’ll recap briefly. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm 22, a sophomore in college, and my family situation—specifically with my father—is probably 70% of why I'm such a wreck (the rest I attribute to genetics and a fried brain)...

Between the chaos at home and my mental health, I have absolutely tanked this semester. I've missed so much class that I don't even know if I'll get all my credits signed off by the Registrar's Office. I haven't passed a single one of my six exams. I’m supposed to go try to take at least two next week, but honestly, I don't even know if I have the willpower. I actually love what I'm studying, but I HATE COLLEGE. I hate being there. My sleep is a mess, so I skip lectures because I can't fall asleep until late and end up sleeping through the morning.

Last year, I finally hit a breaking point and took a gap year. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but it didn't do anything. She put me on Sulpiride (useless), Sanval, and Normabal for sleep, but none of it works either. I stopped seeing her because there was zero progress. I really should find a new psychiatrist and start seeing a psychologist... but I've lost faith that anyone can actually help me. I just don't have the energy. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore because nobody understands me, nobody takes me seriously, and nobody gets what I'm talking about (I know, sounds pathetic 😁 ). I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can just exist until I die or get hit by a car or something.

Because of the family issues, we even tried family therapy, but I'm done with that too because I don't believe anything will change. My old man is an idiot. He’s fine and acting normal most of the time, but a few times a year he just snaps, loses it, and makes life miserable for all of us. It isn't physical, but there's always the possibility he might turn violent in a rage; there have been scenes where he was chasing my mom around the house, and in the last "episode," he almost got into a physical fight with my brother.

I used drugs back in high school, then I quit, but lately, I've started again. I've also started drinking. I constantly think about and plan suicide because I'm just done with this life of depression and the constant guilt over food. It's not anorexia, per se, but rather periods where I binge, followed by periods where I only drink juice. Basically, I just hate myself whenever I eat anything.

Anyway... I don't believe anyone can help me anymore. I've reached my limit and I want to drop out of college because I'm clearly incapable of finishing. I have zero motivation and I feel like a total failure.

I just want to move away (I have no idea where) and find a job (I don't know what kind since I only have a high school diploma). I just want to run away from everything when I clearly don't even have the will to help myself, yet I don't have the guts to kill myself (for now).

Does anyone have advice on where to find a job (that isn't waiting tables, lol) and an apartment? I know, I'm asking for the impossible 😛

Thanks a lot 🙂

I was in the exact same boat once, so I really do understand how you feel! Because of my own tough financial situation and those same mental hurdles, I ended up walking away from college altogether; meanwhile, I was busy getting settled into a new career path. My advice to you would be to consider withdrawing and starting to write some brand-new, positive chapters in your life instead.

George Garcia9 said:Hey, I’ve posted on this forum before, but I’ll recap briefly. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm 22, a sophomore in college, and my family situation—specifically with my father—is probably 70% of why I'm such a wreck (the rest I attribute to genetics and a fried brain)...

Between the chaos at home and my mental health, I have absolutely tanked this semester. I've missed so much class that I don't even know if I'll get all my credits signed off by the Registrar's Office. I haven't passed a single one of my six exams. I’m supposed to go try to take at least two next week, but honestly, I don't even know if I have the willpower. I actually love what I'm studying, but I HATE COLLEGE. I hate being there. My sleep is a mess, so I skip lectures because I can't fall asleep until late and end up sleeping through the morning.

Last year, I finally hit a breaking point and took a gap year. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but it didn't do anything. She put me on Sulpiride (useless), Sanval, and Normabal for sleep, but none of it works either. I stopped seeing her because there was zero progress. I really should find a new psychiatrist and start seeing a psychologist... but I've lost faith that anyone can actually help me. I just don't have the energy. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore because nobody understands me, nobody takes me seriously, and nobody gets what I'm talking about (I know, sounds pathetic 😁 ). I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can just exist until I die or get hit by a car or something.

Because of the family issues, we even tried family therapy, but I'm done with that too because I don't believe anything will change. My old man is an idiot. He’s fine and acting normal most of the time, but a few times a year he just snaps, loses it, and makes life miserable for all of us. It isn't physical, but there's always the possibility he might turn violent in a rage; there have been scenes where he was chasing my mom around the house, and in the last "episode," he almost got into a physical fight with my brother.

I used drugs back in high school, then I quit, but lately, I've started again. I've also started drinking. I constantly think about and plan suicide because I'm just done with this life of depression and the constant guilt over food. It's not anorexia, per se, but rather periods where I binge, followed by periods where I only drink juice. Basically, I just hate myself whenever I eat anything.

Anyway... I don't believe anyone can help me anymore. I've reached my limit and I want to drop out of college because I'm clearly incapable of finishing. I have zero motivation and I feel like a total failure.

I just want to move away (I have no idea where) and find a job (I don't know what kind since I only have a high school diploma). I just want to run away from everything when I clearly don't even have the will to help myself, yet I don't have the guts to kill myself (for now).

Does anyone have advice on where to find a job (that isn't waiting tables, lol) and an apartment? I know, I'm asking for the impossible 😛

Thanks a lot 🙂

Listen, you can't do everything all at once! First, just focus on finding a job. Luckily, they are out there; you just have to track one down. Walk around town, check the local listings, and if you stay persistent, I promise you will find something. 😉 Have you tried looking through the Registrar's Office? It might just be temporary, but you'll gain some experience and save up a little cash; and with a bit of luck, maybe they'll even offer you a permanent position (I know it's a long shot, but it happens!).

Maybe try picking up a hobby or a skill that could actually serve you later in life—like something computer-related? You can learn all sorts of software online, and it could be a huge asset while you're searching for a career. Once you land a job, start saving up for an apartment. Once you feel secure in your new role, you can add a little more to your savings after a certain amount of time to help with a security deposit or rent.

See, you've already set your own goals: an apartment, a job, essentially escaping your old life. If you were able to endure it for all these years, surely you can hang in there just a little longer? If you stay determined and patient, you really can achieve everything you've set out to do.

Sean Nguyen4 said:Maybe you should just try bartending or something. Just to snap out of this funk and actually get moving. 😉

Given her struggle with anxiety and depression, wouldn't the absolute last thing she needs be working as a waitress in the middle of some rowdy, drunken crowd where guys might try to grab at her or just act like total creeps? You know how many idiots are out there, right? Besides, she already made it clear she isn't interested in waitressing anyway. 🙂

What a fantastic start we have here! 👋

Way to go, Peter! 🙏🙏🙏

I really hope we get a chance to settle the score with the Americans!🙂 And of course, I’m bracing myself for yet another game where I'll probably end up with an upset stomach just from the sheer intensity and nerves of watching!😁

Sandra Wilson38 said:I honestly can't tell who was celebrating harder than I was after that win today! 🙏🙏🙏

Maybe Lino was having even more fun than me! 😁

Sandra Wilson38 said:Even for someone like me, who some people call a brainwashed partisan because I criticize the way things are run here (mostly because of my issues with Lin), it’s still such an incredible honor to cheer for the best national team we have ever had, especially after today's massive win!

That is wonderful to hear! But tell me, when are you finally going to just soak in the glory of the victory and stop stressing over all those little things?😁

How's this one looking? We might be small in number, but we sure are a handful.😁

Honestly, massive props to our national team for grinding their way all the way to the finals—that’s the part that’s actually going to stick in everyone's memory! Who even cares about the drama surrounding how Lino managed the squad? It honestly just makes my head spin. Every single national team and their fans should be celebrating and feeling nothing but pure pride because they finally have the chance to go out there and fight for the gold!

Way to go, man! 👋

The gold medal final is finally hereeeeeeeee! 👋

How about making Dominikov as our head coach? 🙏

Honestly, at this point, nothing involving FC Barcelona can actually catch me off guard! Even if Real Madrid were to stumble, I feel like we’d probably see Barcelona trip up too, just like what happened in the penultimate round of the season. Isn't it funny how predictable these patterns become?

I mean, how can you even call it a real poll if TNS isn't involved?

My absolute top 5 favorite trance anthems

1. Orbital - Shatter
2. The Age of Love - Age of Love
3. Insomnia - Insomnia
4. Salt Water - Salt Water
5. Resurrection - Resurrection

Sophia Patel8, why on earth are you letting such silly little things clutter up your mind with all those "what if" scenarios?
Just take a deep breath and relax, man! Instead of boycotting everything and stressing yourself out, why not just head to a local MLS game, soak in the atmosphere, and enjoy the moment instead of overthinking every tiny detail?😉

If you ask me, the absolute best right now has to be Guus Hiddink—the man is a total magician! I mean, he worked his magic to lead South Korea all the way to the semifinals in the last World Cup, and now he’s already secured a spot for Australia at the upcoming World Cup. Isn't that just incredible?
:klap: