I’m not talking about retirement. I’m talking about other things. I can't function when my head is constantly flooded with voices and suicidal thoughts.
Honestly, just a series of poor life choices leading to a far from ideal existence... I'm not sure if everyone shares this particular perspective on luck versus misfortune.
I am dissatisfied with my current trajectory and where things have landed me. I lack the drive for... well, anything. Sometimes it feels as though I am merely idling, waiting for time to pass. 😞😐
Whatever. It hasn't been my day. I'm thinking about just heading to bed, or maybe I'll go out and grab a few drinks instead. It's been a while since I've driven fast under the influence. 😊
Regarding how I screwed everything up and the specifics of my failure... The reason I even posted this ad in the States was pretty stupid. It wasn't even intended to actually get a response, which explains why nobody reached out. And since I’m a guy, I’ll keep the perspective male. And just how much do you think you know, you little jerk? Do you really think you know who you're dealing with? What? I only just finished reading through all of this.
Maybe I’m just an idiot. A complete fool. But I want to be better because, frankly, I care about her more than I can put into words. I find myself falling for her, and it’s been a long time since I’ve actually felt happy being with someone. Today, I hurt her—it wasn't intentional, but that doesn't change anything. It matters to me. 😞